It Belongs In A Museum!

Chapter 1: The Muggle Man!

Harry Potter had just sat down to breakfast, looking forward to his final year at Hogwarts with extreme happiness and relief. The summer had quite literally been the summer from hell. After a month of the Dursleys, Harry had decided he'd had enough, packed his things, and taken a room at the Leaky Cauldron. Of course, Voldemort had gotten wind of it, and decided to storm Diagon Alley. Actually, the entire affair had ended quite anticlimactically, and he was feeling somewhat flat. Perhaps the new year would hold some challenges for him, though he wondered why, exactly, he was still attending school after having fulfilled his destiny. Shrugging mentally, he went back to his breakfast.

The quiet sleepiness of the morning was disturbed when Hagrid came in, leaned down, and spoke to Dumbledore. "Er...Professor Dumbledore, sir, there's a man at the gates. Muggle. He's shoutin' and carryin' on. What should I do with him?"

Dumbledore looked up, curious. "What is he shouting, Hagrid?"

"Somethin' about, 'I know you've got it in there! Let me in!'" Hagrid snorted.

"How very odd," Dumbledore said with a smile. He stood up and walked down to the Gryffindor table. "Harry...may I have a word with you?"

Harry sighed. It looked like breakfast would have to be postponed. Ever since defeating Voldemort is was, 'Harry can you help me with this?' 'Harry, can you give me a hand with that?' Honestly, being the savior of the wizarding world just wasn't worth it. He wondered if he could retreat into the Muggle world, into anonymity. Instead, he stood, and put on his best smile. "Of course, Professor," he said, patting his robe pocket. Good, his wand was in there. He followed Dumbledore out of the Great Hall, ignoring the looks that Hermione and Ron gave him

Dumbledore led him to the front doors. "It seems there is a Muggle man down at the gates, trying to get in. Do you think you could possible deal with him?"

"Yes, sir," Harry sighed. He began the long walk down to the gates, enjoying the crisp autumn air. It was a nice day, and he wondered if anyone would miss him if he skipped class and went flying.

As Harry approached the gates, he could hear a man shouting. "I know you have it! It's not right! It belongs in a museum!" Harry lifted his eyebrows. This man sounded like a nutter. What was he supposed to do, make a portkey to send the man to a Muggle asylum?

As he approached the gates, he saw the man, dressed in well-worn clothes and carrying...a whip? Harry shook his head in disbelief, and opened the gates, so that he would be able to address the man. "Um...can I help you?"

Almost immediately, the man began trying to push his way inside, but Harry blocked the way, hand on his wand handle, should the man get violent. "Sir?" he asked, trying to get his attention.

"Yes, you can help me. I've been tracking this ring's twin for almost four months now," he said, producing a very beautiful silver ring with a large emerald in it. "It's a gold band with a ruby. I know it's in that castle, and I need to get it. It belongs in a museum," he repeated.

Harry wondered how this Muggle was able to see Hogwarts, let alone have found it. "If you calm down, perhaps we can sit down and have a cup of tea and talk?" he suggested lightly, ready to stun the man if he needed to. "I'm Harry, by the way. Harry Potter."

"I'm Indiana Jones. Professor of Archaeology."

Harry's confusion deepened. What would a Muggle professor be doing running around Scotland looking for a ring? Well, he supposed he'd seen stranger things. "Come inside and have a cup of tea." There was no way he was dealing with this himself. Dumbledore could handle this. Harry'd had enough of being the Hogwarts plumber, stopping up leaks and making minor repairs to the fabric of life. He gave a faintly malicious smile at the thought of Dumbledore's probable irritation. Well, if worst came to worst, they could put a memory charm on him and dump him in the moor.

Indiana looked wary. "I guess just one cup wouldn't hurt," he said dubiously, and followed Harry through the gates, secretly rejoicing. He was in!

Harry led the Professor ('Indiana? What were his parents thinking?') through to the staff lounge. He didn't think that bringing the strange looking man (American, judging from his accent) through the Great Hall would be that good of an idea. They stood awkwardly in the room for a minute before Harry spoke. "I'll uh, go get someone who might be able to help you. And tea," he added. "Don't touch anything." With a last wary look at the man in the fedora, Harry hurried out to find Dumbledore, vowing silently to himself to stand up to the Headmaster next time he needed something.

Harry found the Headmaster in his office, and said, with no small degree of satisfaction, "I took the man into the staff room. I thought you'd like to talk to him. He's looking for a gold ring with a ruby in it. Oh, and I promised him tea." He managed not to grin, but just barely.

Dumbledore looked at Harry sternly for a moment, then began chuckling. "Very well, Harry, I suppose I had that coming. But you're not getting out of this so easy. You can sit in while I...talk to him."

"Yes, Professor." Actually, Harry was rather looking forward to watching this conversation. He led Dumbledore to the staff room and opened the door. "He's gone!" He looked around wildly. "And he touched EVERYTHING!" Indeed, every drawer showed signs of having been ransacked, and even the vase full of chrysanthemums had been turned over and searched.

Dumbledore, instead of getting upset, merely smiled at Harry, clapping him on the shoulder. "Tracking him shouldn't be a problem, my dear boy. Think of it as good training to be an Auror. I'll be in my office when you find him." He didn't give Harry time to respond before walking out.

Grumbling about inept headmasters and worrying about what Snape was going to do to him for missing his first Potions class, Harry started looking for the odd stranger. An idea struck him, and he hurried to the kitchens. Immediately, he was greeted by a dozen happy, squeaky voices, and nearly taken out by said dozen house-elves. "I'm looking for Dobby," he said.

An instant later, the requested elf was at his side. "What can Dobby help Harry Potter with, sir?" he asked, bubbling over in excitement.

"Dobby, there's a Muggle man loose in the castle," Harry began, and Dobby interrupted him.

"Dobby knows. Miss Myrtle has been most aggrieved, sir, and has been flooding the whole passageway!"

"Don't tell me he went into Moaning Myrtle's bathroom. Please don't tell me that," Harry groaned.

Dobby nodded, eyes wide. "The Muggle man is there still, sir, and Miss Myrtle is screaming and wailing!"

"All right...Um, why don't you come with me, Dobby." Harry felt the faint need of protection from Myrtle, Boy Who Defeated the Dark Lord or not.

Dobby squeaked happily and agreed. Together, they went down to the first floor, where Harry found the corridor more severely flooded than he'd ever seen it. Taking a deep breath, he pushed open the door, wincing at the high-pitched screeching that hit his ears.

The first thing he noticed, was Myrtle crying in a corner, and the Muggle professor standing some few feet away, gun out and trained on her. Harry sighed and rolled his eyes, stepping further into the room. "Excuse me, sir?" he asked. The gun was then pointed at him, and Harry barely flinched. When you faced Avada Kedavra and the Cruciatus over and over again, a gun seemed like child's play. "Sir, if you don't mind, tea is ready."

Indiana lowered his gun slightly, then looked down at Dobby, obviously confused. "I've seen a lot of weird stuff, but what the hell is that thing?"

Harry was slightly peeved. While Dobby was somewhat ('Understatement') annoying, he took offense at this stranger addressing the elf so rudely. "His name is Dobby. Would you mind following me now, please?" 'Before Myrtle notices I'm here...'

"Harry," Myrtle said, looking up at him with tearful eyes. "That man threatened...threatened to kill me!"

Harry gave an uncomfortable squirm. "Well, Myrtle, I'm sure he didn't mean to..." He avoided tactlessly telling her that that couldn't very well happen, since she was already dead. She didn't seem to care for being reminded of that. "Anyway, I have to go now. Don't worry, he won't bother you anymore." Harry grabbed Indiana's arm and dragged him out of the room. "You had to go in there, didn't you? Couldn't have gone someplace nice, oh no, you had to pick her bathroom."

"Well, I-"

"And I told you not to touch anything. What did you do? Made an enormous mess in the staff room that the house-elves will have to clean up. Or maybe me when Professor Snape gives me detention for missing class. Well done, indeed."

Indiana didn't know what to say, though he felt quite upset at having this... kid address him so rudely. In fact, he didn't know why Harry was showing him around in the first place. He was obviously a student at this school, judging from the uniform. "Why-"

"Shush," Harry ordered, already feeling a headache coming on. He knew, somehow, that this meeting would last much longer than it had to. Trying to walk as quickly as possible, he finally led the man to the stone gargoyle in front of Dumbledore's office. "Gum drops," he said tiredly, really thinking that Dumbledore ought to have changed his password system by now. The gargoyle leapt aside, and Harry rolled his eyes when Indiana drew his gun again. "Put that thing away," he ordered, annoyed, and ushered him onto the moving steps.

Indiana put the gun away rather sheepishly, and got onto the staircase. Harry followed him up, and then they were in Dumbledore's office. "Professor Dumbledore, this is Indiana Jones. He was just looking around in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom." There was a bite to his voice.

Dumbledore smiled. "Hello, Mr. Jones, it's a pleasure to meet you."

"Actually, it's Dr. Jones."

"Dr. Jones, of course, my apologies. Harry tells me you've been...looking for something."

"I'm looking for a ring." He pulled out the emerald ring from his pocket. "It's the counterpart to this one. The museum has asked me to seek it out. I had a lead that it might be here."

To someone who had just met Dumbledore, or who had not known him a long time, they might have thought he was looking at the ring with polite disinterest. However, Harry had known the headmaster for six years, and had worked with him closely for the last one and half, doing things for the Order, and he caught the twinkle in his eye.

"Do sit," Dumbledore said. "Harry? Tea?" he said, gesturing toward the pot.

Knowing better than grumble, lest he be given more menial tasks, or worse, a detention with Filch, Harry quickly poured three cups of tea, handing one to Indiana. He sat down, wondering why he needed to be there. He didn't know anything about a ring.

"I have not seen a ring like that," Dumbledore said after a time.

'Liar,' Harry thought, wondering why, exactly, he wasn't telling the truth.

"Really?" Indiana said, with disbelief. "And I suppose you aren't the Albus Dumbledore who was the last known possessor of the ring either?"

Dumbledore looked slightly concerned. It would have to have been a wizard who gave him that information. "And may I ask who informed you of this?"

"Man named Aberforth," Indiana said casually.

Dumbledore, to Harry's shock, groaned slightly and rested his head in his hands. "I should have known." He looked up at Indiana. "Dr. Jones, please go away. Even if I did have the ring of which you speak, I have no reason to give it to you. I'm sure Harry will be glad to show you out."

"I'm not leaving without the ring," Indiana said, putting his tea cup down. "It's a valuable piece and belongs in a museum."

Harry saw Dumbledore draw his wand and point it at Indiana. "Sir?" he asked, also pulling his.

"You will leave," Dumbledore said, sounding dangerous.

Indiana merely laughed. "Please. You're threatening me with a STICK? I've had much, much worse."

"He could kill you with that 'stick' if he wanted to," Harry warned him.

"I don't think so, kid," Indiana said, laughing again. He leaned back in chair and propped his feet up on Dumbledore's desk. "I can't die. But that's not why I'm here. I want the ring, or I'm not leaving."

Harry and Dumbledore looked at one another, annoyed. This damned Muggle was threatening them after everything they'd been through? Suddenly, Dumbledore began laughing. "I think...yes, well, the staff does need a diversion," he murmured. "Harry, you have potions class now, don't you?"

"Yes, sir." Was Dumbledore going to have him take the man to Snape and poison him? That sounded like a good plan to Harry.

"Please take Dr. Jones with you, and inform Professor Snape that Dr. Jones will be sharing his room for a while." Dumbledore was twinkling quite excessively now.

Indiana seemed satisfied with Dumbledore's response, though wasn't quite sure why Harry was smirking in that odd way. He followed him through the castle's labyrinth passageways, down to the dungeons, one hand on his gun should he need it. The castle gave him the creeps.

Harry opened the classroom door, smiling widely. He didn't even falter when Snape glared at him. "Sorry I'm late, Professor. The Headmaster wanted me to tell you that Dr. Jones here will be rooming with you for a while.

Snape's eyes were cold and dark. "Five points from Gryffindor for your wholly inappropriate sense of humor, Potter. And another five for being late."

"Um, Professor, I'm not joking. Professor Dumbledore said that this man was to stay in your rooms. He won't leave the castle, you see." Harry was becoming anxious. He didn't think Snape knew about not killing the messenger.

Snape's voice rose. "Then ten more points from Gryffindor for that NOT being a joke. What, in the name of Merlin, is going on?"

Indiana stepped forward. "It's real simple. I'm staying here until I get what I want. And Dumbledore says I'm bunking down with you."

Snape simply stood there, staring at them, unable to process this information. Finally, he turned to Harry. "Poison? Memory charm?" His voice was almost pleading.

Harry shook his head sadly. "I'm sorry, Professor." And he actually sounded like he meant it. It would have been convincing if not for his inability to hold in the laughter that was trying to get out.

"Sit down, Potter, and shut up," Snape snapped. He turned to Draco. "Make sure they don't blow up the lab. I have to see to our... visitor." He strode down the aisle and walked out of the room, not bothering to tell Indiana to follow, who did anyway.

Snape led him down a corridor, not speaking. He couldn't imagine what Dumbledore was thinking to be inflicting this on him. Or rather, he didn't want to imagine what he must have been thinking. Finally, he reached his chambers, murmured a password, and threw open the door. "Here. That is my bed. If you touch it, I will kill you. Those are my clothes. If you touch them, I will kill you. My books, if-"

"You're a little repetitive, aren't you?" Indiana said with a grin. "So where do I sleep?"

"That is the couch. You will sleep there."

"Boy, you folks sure know how to roll out the hospitality," Indiana muttered, looking at the stiff and uncomfortable-looking couch.

Snape glared at him, then left, stalking back to the lab. He opened the door with such force that it slammed back off the dungeon wall. Everyone was cringing, silent. Sitting at his desk, Snape decided that he couldn't deal with this class, not today. "All of you get out. Except Potter."

Harry ignored the looks from Hermione and Ron, letting his head slam on the lab desk. This wasn't going to be fun. He wondered if he couldn't somehow convince the Ministry to let him out of school early for good behavior. This was no way to treat the Boy Who Lived!

"Potter," Snape said, in a low, deadly voice, ignoring the fact that Harry was repeatedly banging his head on the desk, "Who is that man?"

"Muggle" thump "archaeology" thump "professor," thump.

"Stop that, Potter, you're giving ME a headache. Why is a Muggle archaeology professor staying here?"

"Because Professor Dumbledore is evil," Harry responded solemnly, rubbing his forehead.

"That goes without saying. What is he looking for?"

"A ring. Apparently Dumbledore has it, but he doesn't want to give it up."

"Why not?"

Harry glared at him. "Are you asking me to understand the actions of the Headmaster?"

"Good point."

Snape paused for a time, lost in thought. "And I'm not to poison him? Are you sure that's not why Dumbledore sent him to me?"

"Well, sir, that was what I thought at first. But no, I don't think so. Oh, and sir? You might not want to leave him alone for too long. The last time I did that, he razed the staff room and wound up pointing a gun at Moaning Myrtle."

"A gun?"

"It's what Muggles use to kill each other. He also has a whip."

Snape had a thoughtful expression on his face for a moment, then got an evil gleam in his eyes. "Potter, I think your tardiness this morning merits extreme severity. Detention for you. Beginning immediately. You will be responsible for looking after this...Jones person. And Merlin help you if he touches so much as a single one of my possessions."

"But-"

"Shut up, Potter."

Harry stood, packing his bag, and stormed out of the room, looking highly defeated. 'Why me?' He walked down the hall, just in time to see Indiana sneaking out of the room. "Hey!!"

Indiana turned, gun pointed at Harry's heart, then relaxed when he saw who it was. "Hi." Holstering his gun, he looked around. "Would you happen to know where I could find that ring?" he asked hopefully.

"What's so important about it anyway?" Harry asked, peering into Snape's rooms. 'He's going to kill me. I am SO dead.' The room had been torn apart, and looked much like the staff room did after Indiana had left it.

"That ring can make you invisible, kid. I don't want to think about what could happen with it in the wrong hands."

"Um, Dr. Jones, Professor Dumbledore can be invisible anyway. Hey, wait a minute..." Harry began thinking fast. So THAT was why Dumbledore had said he didn't need an invisibility cloak. "Bastard," he muttered, then remembered Indiana's presence. "Look, the only place it's likely to be is in Dumbledore's office, or his rooms. And you can't very well search them in broad daylight. The only thing you're doing by messing up the entire castle is getting me in trouble. You don't want to do that do you?" Harry gave him his best innocent little boy look.

Indiana looked him over. Harry sort of reminded him of himself at that age. "Fine," he agreed. "You'll take me to his office when it gets dark, then?"

Harry nodded. "Yes." 'Anything to get you stay put and stop wrecking the place.' "Right now, though, I think you should help me put Professor Snape's room back together before he decides to skin us both alive and use us as potions ingredients." He stepped into the room and grimaced. Indiana had even checked through the feather pillows. Harry hoped Snape would take a long time grading papers.

Numerous Reparo charms and one giant backache later, Snape's room looked about right. Harry just hoped that Snape didn't remember the order everything had been in too closely. 'Fat chance of that.' His stomach growled, reminding him that he hadn't had much breakfast and it was time for lunch. "Do you want to go get some lunch?" he asked hopefully.

"I could do with a good meal," Indiana agreed. "Lead on."

Harry took him to the Great Hall, wondering how on earth he was going to explain this to everyone. They sat down at the Gryffindor table across from Ron and Hermione. "Dr. Jones, these are my friends, Ron and Hermione."

Hermione barely glanced up from her book to greet him, but Ron shook his hand. "You'll have to excuse Hermione. She's on a World War II kick right now. Unless you know anything about it, she's probably not going to talk to you at all."

"World War II, eh?" Indiana said, accepting the plate of food from Harry. "Yeah, I know a bit about it." He decided not to mention the fact that he'd lived through it, and was the sole reason the Nazis didn't get the Ark of the Covenant. If he explained that, he would have to explain the Holy Grail episode, and he didn't feel like reliving that. Not right now at least.

Indiana looked around for a while, and made Harry tell him who the staff members were. "Good to know your opposition," he said with a grin.

"Opposition for what exactly?" Ron asked quizzically.

Harry took it on himself to answer. "Dr. Jones wants to steal a ring from Professor Dumbledore. And we're going to help him."

This shocked Hermione out of her book. "Steal? Harry, you must be mad. We would get in so much trouble..."

Harry leaned over and began whispering to Hermione. An enlightened expression crossed her face. "But Harry, it's...well, all right," she said, with a shrug. He did have a point.

After lunch, Harry had to go to class. He warned Indiana to stay out of trouble (yeah, right) and wondered if he just shouldn't take the man with him. Like a pet. That thought amused him all the way to Charms class.

Indiana, after finishing his lunch, decided to go for a stroll on the grounds. He needed Harry in order to get that ring, so he wanted to stay on his good side. A group of greenhouses caught his eye and he walked over at a leisurely pace. This place, Hogwarts, intrigued him, and he was determined to find out more about it. Stepping inside the cool, damp room, he noticed a few things out of the ordinary. First was the feeling of being stared at. Second was the feeling of claustrophobia, and third was the fact that some of the plants were walking.

Indiana drew his gun cautiously, and began stalking one of the moving creatures. He moved across a large bed of something he couldn't identify, and had almost reached his goal when a thick vine came out of nowhere and wrapped itself around his throat, knocking him off his feet. The plant dragged his struggling form in, vines encircling waist and legs as well, and deposited him in a large pod. Indiana kept his cool, though, and cocked his gun. He pulled the trigger, and the plant gave an awful shriek.

Another vine came out of nowhere and he lost his gun, hearing it crush under the greenery. He pulled his whip and cracked it hard, and the pod let him go. He ran fast, toward the greenhouse door, fending off the plants, and was almost out when knocked into someone, sending them sprawling to the floor. "I'm sorry," he said quickly, helping her to her feet. "The plants are alive. We have to get out of here."

"Of course they're alive!" said a very annoyed Professor Sprout. She peered around him and gasped. "No!! The venomous tentacula!" She hurried over to the pod with the bullet hole in it and began pulling out various potions from her robes, working quickly to help the plant.

She looked up, her normally amiable face creased with anger. "You HURT it!"

"Not nearly as much as it wanted to hurt me," Indiana said defensively.

"Really. You just...go. Get out of my greenhouses!" Professor Sprout caught Indiana by the arm and marched him over to the door.

Indiana sighed. This was one creepy place. He went back up to the castle, and began wandering about aimlessly when out of nowhere, a pot of porridge was dumped over his head. "Porridgey, porridgey Muggle man!" a voice began singing.

Indiana looked around, wiping his face free of the stuff, and saw a little man appear, dressed in bright, offensive colors. He blew a raspberry, then disappeared again, leaving a very confused Muggle behind. Dripping in porridge, Indiana made his way down to the dungeons, and his room, looking forward to a shower and a nap before trying to infiltrate Dumbledore's office that evening.

He stepped out of the shower, towel wrapped around his waist, only to face a very irate potions master. "There is porridge on my floor," Snape said coldly. "And my things have been TOUCHED!"

"Hey, listen, sorry about that. It won't happen again." Indiana felt rather at a loss without his gun.

"Where is Potter?"

"The kid? He said something about classes."

Snape snorted. "Get dressed, and I will return you to your keeper."

Ten minutes later, Indiana was led back to the Great Hall by the irate teacher. He noticed Snape give Harry a rather dirty look, and felt kind of sorry for him.

"Can't you stay out of trouble?" Harry said, getting up and gathering his books. "I have to go study in the library. I guess you're coming with me." Without a word, he walked out, leaving Indiana to follow him.

Indiana followed, and sat down at a table in the library with Harry. Harry began rummaging around in the bookshelf. "Um...here, you can read this." He had picked the most innocuous volume he could find, one about the lost city of Troy and Helen the Enchantress. Harry settled down and began to read. If he didn't have his potions homework done, Snape would be in an even worse mood.

Indiana read for a while. This was a very weird book, but it was interesting, especially contrasting it with Schliemann's findings in Troy...after a few chapters, he was distracted by a giggle. Looking up, he saw two teenaged girls staring at him.

Having been a Professor long enough, Indiana was pretty sure what that was all about. Sighing, he looked back down at his book, but couldn't concentrate on it. While no stranger to females, he preferred them legal. And not as giggly. Trying to ignore the whispering, he didn't notice the girl from earlier - what was her name again? - take a seat next to him.

"Oh good, Hermione," Harry said, leaning over and taking her notes. "I can't find the thing about the murtlap oil... What's it for again? Other than healing."

Hermione smacked his hand and took her notes back. "If you had paid attention in Potions, Harry, you would know the answer and wouldn't have to copy mine. Honestly, how did you get into the Advanced course anyway?"

"Copying your work," Harry said bluntly.

They worked until late in the evening, and Harry was just finishing up his essay when Indiana nudged him. "Hey...do you think it's late enough to go search the old man's office?"

Harry started thinking hard. He was willing to do damned near anything to get rid of this man, but really, they needed a plan. "You won't fit under the invisibility cloak. I don't suppose the ring you already HAVE makes you invisible," he said hopefully.

"Sure. They're twin rings, aren't they?" Indiana said easily.

Harry breathed a sigh of relief. "Okay. I guess we could go now." Silently, he hoped Dumbledore had the ring in a very easy to find spot, but knowing the headmaster, there would be booby traps all over the place. He was reminded forcibly of his first year, and cringed, thinking about the obstacles guarding the Stone. "Hermione, can you take my bag back up to the Tower?"

"Harry, I think this is a really bad idea. You should-"

"I'll do it myself," Harry said, shouldering said object and walking away.

At the door, he turned. "Oh, and Hermione...don't let him out of your sight, or I'll have detention from now until graduation. And possibly after." Hermione nodded, and Harry hurried up to the Tower, leaving his book bag, and grabbing his invisibility cloak, which he put on. He headed back to the library, relieved to find Hermione and Indiana still in the same place. "All right," he said, enjoying the jump they gave. "Put on your ring and let's go." He wanted to get this over with as quickly as possible.

Indiana did as he was told, also becoming invisible, and followed Harry out of the library. They walked silently until they reached the stone gargoyle, but had to jump aside when it opened, revealing a very angry Snape storming down the stairs. "Ruin my rugs. Taking my books out of order. Never should have let him in there..."

Normally when Harry would have made fun of Snape, or had a laugh at his expense, he was feeling rather sympathetic toward him.

Harry and Indiana managed to gain Dumbledore's office, and Harry had a feeling that this just wasn't going to go well. Still, he was desperate. He opened a desk drawer and began rootling around in it. Unfortunately, Dumbledore had a rather large collection of artifacts, rare jewelry and whatnot, all stored in an old biscuit tin. Muttering under his breath, Harry dumped it out on the desk, and began sifting through. A slight screech alerted him, and he looked up to see Fawkes looking in his direction with a very disapproving air. "Fawkes, please hush," he begged. "I swear it's for a good reason."

A light appeared at the top of the stairs, and Harry swore under his breath. He saw Indiana unsheathe his whip and hold it at the ready. This was quite laughable, as Harry was sure Dumbledore could easily have taken him out with a wiggle of his left pinky. "Harry?"

Harry sighed. "Yes, Professor?"

"Did you need me for something?"

Gritting his teeth, Harry said, "No, Professor." He was quite sure Dumbledore knew why he AND Indiana were there, but he was going to be annoying about it. And assign detention.

"While I'm always happy to see you, Harry, I'd prefer you didn't come into my office when I'm not here. I'm afraid I shall have to assign you detention, my boy. Let me see...I fear the downstairs corridor and lavatory are still rather flooded. After class tomorrow perhaps you could get it cleaned up?"

"Yes, sir," Harry said, defeated.

"And if you could just tidy up here? My desk seems to have become rather disarranged."

"Like you'd notice," Harry muttered under his breath, scooping the jewelry back into the biscuit tin, and quieting Indiana with a savage gesture as he began to protest.

Harry led a still protesting Indiana Jones down to the dungeons, stopping in front of Snape's quarters. "Here," he said. "Don't get into any trouble." With that, he turned and left.

Not knowing the password inside, Indiana looked at the portrait awkwardly, then knocked loudly on the frame. Several minutes passed. He knocked again.

The portrait was flung open. "What?" Snape looked up and down the corridor wildly before Indiana remembered that he was still invisible and pulled off the ring.

"Got that couch ready for me?" Indiana asked with a grin.

Snape snarled wordlessly and went back into his rooms, leaving Indiana to follow. "I have had a VERY difficult day. I would suggest you keep quiet until I can deliver you to Potter again in the morning." Snape gave Indiana a menacing look that could cause a roomful of seventh-year Hufflepuffs to burst into tears (and had, on occasion).

"Sure thing, Sev."

Snape whirled around. "Do not address me as 'Sev', 'Sevvie' or even 'Severus.' You will call me, if anything, Professor Snape. It's bad enough I have to share my quarters with a... with YOU, and I do not appreciate sickly sweet nicknames. Are we understanding one another?"

Slightly taken aback by the irritation, Indiana nodded, then winced as the bedroom door was slammed almost in his face.

Chapter 2: Detention Until Graduation

The next morning, Harry was sitting at breakfast, wondering how he was supposed to manage his homework and get the corridor and Myrtle's bathroom cleaned up. There was one thing he was damned sure of. He wouldn't be cleaning up the corridor by himself. His dark thoughts were interrupted by the arrival of Indiana, and a pressure on his shoulder. Looking up, he saw Professor Snape standing behind him. "A word, if you please, Potter."

Harry looked over at Ron. "WATCH him." He stood up and followed Snape out of the Great Hall.

Once they reached an empty classroom, Snape leaned against a desk, rubbing his temples. "Shut the door, Potter." Harry did, and Snape continued, concentrating on the floor. "That man has got to go."

These were Harry's thoughts exactly. "How do you plan on getting rid of him, professor? He's not going to leave until Dumbledore gives in."

"Do you remember the last time that happened, Potter? Because I don't. Once the Headmaster has his mind set on something... Perhaps you could take Dr. Jones for a walk in the Forbidden Forest? I'll give you a note of permission." There was a desperate tenor to Snape's voice.

"Oh, no," Harry said quickly. "I already have detention today. Double detention, actually, since taking care of him is part of the detention YOU gave me. Look, I tried. I thought, just find the damned ring, and then he'll go. And now I have to clean up Moaning Myrtle's bathroom."

"Professor Sprout is quite upset with him as well. Apparently he did some rather irreversible damage to a plant in greenhouse five, and it... died."

Harry digested this information. Sprout would have Indiana's head for that, no doubt. Until then, though, they had to put up with him. "I guess I'll have to look for the ring again tonight."

Snape covered a yawn, and Harry gave him a quizzical look. "He was tossing and turning all night," he explained. "Something about snakes or whatnot. Also, I distinctly remember him mentioning the Holy Grail."

"From the Arthur story?"

"Potter, honestly, you've spent too many years with Muggles. That's not a story. It's documented history. You should ask you friend Miss Granger about it."

"Yes, sir. What did he say about snakes?"

"I don't know, Potter. He just kept screaming, 'Cobras!' and then asking someone why it had to be snakes."

Harry tried hard to stifle his laughter, but couldn't. "I'm sorry, sir," he gasped. "It's just..." He exploded into another gale of laughter. "Why didn't you wake him up?" he asked, when he could speak again.

"He seems peculiarly resistant to it. Several objects...found themselves flying at his head, but he didn't wake up. Potter, I swear, if you don't get rid of him, I'll give you detention for the rest of the year." Snape tried to glare menacingly, but was interrupted by another jaw-cracking yawn.

Harry's giggles had subsided at the threat of detention. "I can't!" he protested. "He won't leave until he gets that ring, Dumbledore won't give it to him, and he's insisting on Dr. Jones staying with you. I'm sorry, sir," he said. And he truly did mean it.

Snape was about to say something when a shriek outside made them both turn. Hurrying into the entrance hall, they saw Professor Trelawny holding a container full of what looked like broken shards of glass. Students and teachers began filing out of the Great Hall and Trelawny yelled again, and pointed a finger at Indiana, who looked like he'd just been coming down the marble staircase. "HIM!"

Harry, fire in his eyes, looked around wildly, and found a sheepish-looking Ron cowering near a wall. Grabbing Ron by the collar of his robes, he began shaking him. "I told you to watch him!"

"I'm sorry, but he said he had to go to the bathroom," Ron defended himself.

"You should have gone with him!" Harry shouted, still shaking him. A hand twisted in his collar and pulled him backwards. Turning, he saw Snape. "Sir! He let him go away, and now I'll have detention again, and I'm never going to get all my detention done! Never! I'll be older than Dumbledore and I'll still have detention!" He was nearly hysterical.

Snape looked considering. "Weasley?"

"Yes, Professor Snape?" Ron looked terrified.

"I believe your lack of judgment merits a detention. You will be dealing with Myrtle's...outburst today. Harry will continue serving the detention I gave him." However much he might dislike helping Potter, desperate times called for desperate measures.

Harry blinked, and Ron nodded, then hurried off to class. "Thank you, Professor," Harry said, still stunned.

"You can thank me, Potter, by getting that man out of my quarters."

Harry agreed. It would be best for everyone if Indiana just left. He turned to address the man, only to find that he had disappeared. "Not again!!!"

Snape gritted his teeth. "I'll search the Charms corridor."

"I'll look near the Transfiguration room. I have class soon anyway." They parted, each going to there respective destinations.

Harry hurried towards the transfiguration room, where he heard Indiana's voice, low and seductive. "Listen, honey, I know you must know where the old man keeps the ring. He trusts you, right? Maybe he'd even let you borrow it. Just show a little leg..."

Harry tried to duck out of sight to hide his laughter, but McGonagall's eyes were sharp. "Potter! Could you kindly explain to this man that I-"

"Yes, Professor," he interrupted. "Not a prayer," he said to Indiana, his lips still twitching.

"Look, a woman can always-"

"Trust me here. Not a prayer." He looked back at McGonagall. "I'm sorry, Professor, but he's going to have to stay with me during class."

"I will not have him in my classroom!"

"Do you want to think about what he'll do if he's left by himself?"

While McGonagall was quite amused to see Sibyll Trelawney in distress over a few cracked crystal balls (as if she didn't have enough), some of the other things in the castle were irreplaceable, even by magic. "Fine," she snapped, clearly losing patience. "Just make sure you watch him."

Harry rolled his eyes, feeling more and more like he was trying to train a house pet. "Sit," he said, pointing at a desk. His evil inner voice chuckled at him and he told it to shut up.

Indiana sat, looking a little put out. Stuck in a classroom, he wouldn't be able to search for the ring. He began planning an escape for as soon as Harry's back was turned.

Harry sat through the lesson, trying to figure out how they could get the ring that night. Fawkes would always be in the office, unless there was some way to silence him...A phoenix would be resistant to silencing charms and so forth. Harry remembered something, and sat up straighter. Nothing on earth was resistant to Hagrid's treacle fudge!

As soon as class was over, Harry grabbed Indiana and was heading outside when he realized that he was alone. Indiana had given him the slip once again. Saying words that even he wasn't sure where he'd learned, Harry decided to head to Hagrid's anyway. He could use a good cup of tea.

The first thing Harry noticed upon approaching Hagrid's cabin was the growling. 'Funny,' he though, 'Fang hardly ever growls...' He wondered if Hagrid had gotten another new pet, and hesitated before opening the door... and ducking just in time as a huge mug flew by. "Hagrid?!" The one room hut was in disarray. However, the half-giant wasn't there. What he did see, was Indiana in a corner, throwing things at Fang, who was growling menacingly at the stranger intruding on his home. "Down, Fang!" Harry shouted, moving to scratch the boarhound's ears. Fang quieted, but was doing a dog's impression of a glare in Indiana's direction.

"What were you doing?" Harry asked, in a low, dangerous voice.

"Well, that great big dog-"

"Do you realize you have managed to do one of the only things that would make the HALF-GIANT who lives here angry?" Harry was about to continue, but a growl from behind him made him turn.

Hagrid was standing there. "Wha's goin' on here? Wha' the hell happened?" Fang whimpered and slunk over to Hagrid, looking extra pitiful.

Harry, who had seen Hagrid angry maybe three times in his life, hurried back into the shadows, doing his best to hide himself against the wall. He couldn't even bring himself to laugh when Indiana started shaking slightly, obviously overwhelmed by Hagrid's size. "Wha' happened?" he asked again, directing the question at Indiana.

"Your dog tried to attack me."

This time, Harry had to cover a snicker. More like Fang tried to lick him to death. Hagrid was not amused. "So ye destroy half me house? Wha' are you doing in 'ere anyway?"

Harry flinched and retreated further.

"I'm looking for a ring," Indiana said, uncertainly.

Hagrid snorted. "This is a hut, man. Don' yeh have any sense?"

"Well, I just thought he might be hiding it..."

Harry decided he couldn't hide forever. "Hagrid. Please don't hurt him. Professor Dumbledore will get mad at me."

Hagrid's face softened. "Harry, what on earth are yeh doin' traipsin' around with a Muggle?"

Harry explained, then said, "Hagrid, I don't suppose you have any of that delicious treacle fudge around?"

"Sure do," Hagrid said, bringing a tin from the cupboard. "Just made some fresh today. Ye be wantin' a piece?"

"Actually, I wondered if I could have all of it. I'll return the tin, of course."

"O' course!" Hagrid beamed, obviously happy that Harry apparently loved his fudge. "Enjoy," he said, covering the tin and handing it to him.

"Thanks! Well. I suppose we should be going. I, er, have to get to class soon, you know. I'll stop by tomorrow." 'And hopefully by then, Dr. Jones will be gone.' He said goodbye, then pulled Indiana from the hut. ~

"We've got to get that ring!"

"Hungry?"

"What?"

"Are you hungry?" Harry asked, covering an evil smile and handed Indiana a piece of fudge. "They're really good." 'And they are. If you can get your jaws apart to chew it.'

Indiana was quiet for some time, thanks to the fudge, and they headed to the charms classroom, where Harry made Indiana sit right in front of him so that he could keep an eye on him.

Flitwick entered the classroom hurriedly. "So sorry to be late, everyone. Today-"

"That's your TEACHER?"

"Shut up," Harry growled.

"Listen, no offense, little guy," Indiana said to Flitwick, then turned back to Harry, "But I've had DOGS bigger than him." Harry buried his head in his hands and just groaned.

No one could ever remember Professor Flitwick ever getting angry. Sure, Professor Lockhart had annoyed him to almost beyond the breaking point, but anger? Well, they supposed, as Indiana found himself floating near the ceiling, no one had ever dared to insult a Charms Master before. Not to mention, a dueling champion.

Tied, gagged, and hanging from the ceiling, Indiana struggled. Satisfied, Flitwick climbed atop his pile of books and addressed the class again.

Harry thought about remonstrating, then decided this would make a nice change for an hour or so. He sat through Charms feeling almost cheerful. At the end of the lesson, Flitwick, with a disdainful flick of his wand, dumped Indiana on the floor. 'It was nice while it lasted,' Harry thought, and went down to untie Indiana. As soon as he removed the gag, a torrent of words came out. "What the hell was that? How did he do that? Is THAT what those stick things do?"

"Yes, Dr. Jones. That's what those stick things do. Come on. Let's go get some lunch."

*****

Later that evening, Harry was sitting in the common room, nose buried in a book, though he wasn't reading it. He was listening to Indiana rail on about something or other he'd done, though Harry didn't believe a word of it. Parvati and Lavender had front row seats, surrounded by girls from the lower years, all fawning over him. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Hermione and Ginny sitting at a desk, also listening, but the same feeling of disbelief was apparent on their faces. Putting his book down, he went to join them.

"Worse than Lockhart, isn't he?" Harry asked, exasperated.

Hermione nodded. "But at least he doesn't do it ALL the time. I mean sometimes he keeps quiet."

"Yeah, sometimes I give him Hagrid's treacle fudge," Harry muttered.

Hermione lowered her voice. "So are you still going to try and...?"

"Oh, yes. I can't stand another day of this, and Snape can't take another night."

Ginny raised her eyebrows. "Since when did you care about Snape?"

"I wouldn't wish this guy on my worst enemy, Ginny," Harry said, blushing a bit.

After another half hour of listening to Indiana, Harry couldn't take it anymore. He walked over and looked at him pointedly.

"Sorry, ladies," Indiana said, standing up and donning his fedora, "adventure calls."

Harry rolled his eyes as the girls practically swooned. He quickly ran upstairs to get his invisibility cloak, then led Indiana out, tossing the cloak over his head. He felt the invisible Indiana next to him, but kept silent. He didn't want to converse with him now, or ever again for that matter.

Harry crept up to Dumbledore's office, reasoning that Fawkes was more used to seeing him there. He pulled out a piece of the fudge. "Here you go, Fawkes. Tasty." Fawkes accepted the morsel from his fingertips, then looked at him rather indignantly, as if Harry had betrayed him. "I'm sorry," Harry whispered. "But if I didn't do this, he'd probably do something to YOU next." Fawkes tilted his head consideringly. Harry broke his invisibility briefly and beckoned Indiana to join him, and together they began to search in earnest.

Three hours later, Harry was exhausted. The last two days had taken their toll, and he sat down in Dumbledore's very comfortable chair. Very... very comfortable... The next thing he knew, a bright strip of sunlight was shining in his eyes and awoke with a start. "NO!!" The office was a wreck. Yawning, Harry checked his watch. An hour before breakfast. He hoped the Headmaster was not an early riser. Quickly, he worked to put the office back together the way he remembered, and was just about to walk out of the room, when Dumbledore's voice stopped him.

"Back again, Harry?"

"Professor," Harry said pleadingly, and Dumbledore held up a hand.

"Harry, I understand that this has been difficult for you, but I cannot excuse your repeated invasions of my privacy. I'm afraid further detention is called for," he said in a stern voice. "I think you can begin with cleaning my office thoroughly, and we'll go from there."

"Yes, sir," Harry said, in a defeated voice, and knelt down on the floor to begin gathering up scattered papers. Just as he'd thought. Detention until graduation, most likely.

He didn't get very far on his cleaning, however, when the door burst open. He scrambled out of the way to avoid be trampled on by a horde of teachers, Snape leading the pack. Behind him were Madame Pomfrey and Madame Hooch, Professors Sprout, Trelawney, and Flitwick, and Professor McGonagall, who was carrying a cage with what looked to be a hamster in it.

"Headmaster," Snape said curtly, "we need to have a little chat."

"Very well. Harry-"

"I think Harry should be allowed to remain," Snape said simply. "As he is directly involved."

Harry groaned slightly, and took a chair at the Headmaster's gesture. Detention past graduation. So much for being an Auror. He was gazing about him in despair when Snape gave him a meaningful look and a tiny smile.

The room began to echo with complaints. "He killed the venomous tentacula-" "He invaded the infirmary and emptied out half my potions-" "He screams about cobras EVERY night-" "He called me 'honey'-" "He tried to steal the snitch-" "I am NOT little-"

Dumbledore held up a hand to silence them all. "Where is Dr. Jones?"

McGonagall, wearing a smirk that was very out of character for her, held up the hamster cage. "We had to subdue him, Dumbledore."

Dumbledore pursed his lips. "Very well."

After a moment's silence, Harry couldn't take it anymore. "Can't you just give him the damn ring so he'll go away?!"

There were murmurs of assent by all the members of the staff present. They were all very eager to see Indiana go.

"Headmaster, while I would not wish to seem to be threatening, I believe you can count on having at least seven resignations on your desk before breakfast unless he leaves, now."

Dumbledore nodded. "Very well. I had hoped that Dr. Jones would prove an enjoyable distraction-" He cut off the angry babble with a wave of his hand. "But that is clearly not the case." Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a ring. "I shall be rather sorry to part with it, but there is, after all, no treasure worth more than your goodwill." Sighing, he dropped it into the hamster cage.

Satisfied, the teachers left, save for Snape. He turned and looked at Harry, then looked back to Dumbledore. "I do believe you us an apology as well," he said.

Harry, who had been harboring many emotions, two of which were anger and frustration, was now very shocked. Snape was demanding an apology from Dumbledore. And what was more, he was demanding an apology for Harry as well. That was most unusual.

Dumbledore gave a small smile. "I do not believe apologies are necessary, Severus."

The corners of Snape's mouth twitched, almost as if he were going to smile. However, he made no comment, and merely nodded. "Potter? I need a word with you about that essay."

"What ess- OH! Right. Coming, sir." Harry hurriedly followed Snape from the room.

Snape led Harry down the staircase, and then down to the dungeons. Harry was a bit confused. He had thought Snape was merely trying to get him out of the office, which was weird enough, but now it seemed like he actually wanted to talk. Snape ushered Harry into his office and closed the door. "Potter, you do understand that Professor Dumbledore is a good man, worthy of respect, admiration, and unceasing loyalty?"

"Yes, sir," Harry said, not sure what Snape was driving at.

"He has, however, gone too far on this occasion. I have not slept in two days and he does not think an apology is in order. You, he probably gave detention again, unless I miss my guess."

"No, you've got that right."

"Very well, then. I think Professor Dumbledore would benefit from a night or so of sleeplessness, don't you?" Snape gave an evil smirk.

If Harry hadn't known before that Snape was a true Slytherin, he knew it now. "Yes, sir," Harry said with a slight grin. Even if it earned him a few more detentions, it would definitely be worth it to get back at Dumbledore for the past two days of hell. Oddly enough, he actually felt bad for Snape, even though he'd only had to deal with Indiana at night. Harry was all too familiar with sleepless nights.

Snape looked at Harry with something that strangely resembled approval. "Very well. Meet me at the foot of Gryffindor Tower at precisely eleven o'clock tonight. Mind you aren't late."

"Yes, sir."

"Run along and have your breakfast, then. I have some marking to catch up on." Snape sat down at his desk and began working. "Oh, and Potter?"

"Sir?"

"This essay is terrible. If you write another essay this bad, I'll take fifty points from Gryffindor. As it is, I'll simply give you the D you so richly deserve."

At exactly eleven (he made sure he was prompt), Harry met Snape at the bottom of Gryffindor Tower. Silently, they walked to Dumbledore's office, even though Harry desperately wished to ask him what he'd had planed for the Headmaster. At the gargoyle, Snape whispered the password, and they took the moving staircase up to the office. Harry, after having been caught twice in Dumbledore's chambers, was growing quite nervous. "Professor, he whispered, "what are we going to do?"

"How are your warming charms, Potter?"

"Well, they're not too bad," Harry said uncertainly, with no idea how that was going to help.

"Good. I happen to know that the Headmaster likes to keep his chambers extremely cool at night, and he has been known to complain that even slight temperature fluctuations will disturb his repose." Snape lifted an eyebrow and Harry grinned.

They crept silently to the door of Dumbledore's rooms, and Snape opened the door slowly. They directed their wands toward the large four-poster in the corner and began to silently cast warming charms until the figure under the bed was tossing and turning. Satisfied that he was slightly uncomfortable, they set to work on other areas of the room, ensuring that it would stay warm throughout the night and most of the next morning

*****

The next morning, as he enjoyed his breakfast, Harry watched the rather miserable-looking Headmaster. He had shadows under his eyes, and appeared not to have slept properly all night. Harry was gloating silently to himself, and planning how to spend his gloriously Indiana-free Saturday, when someone leaned in behind him. "Same time tonight, Potter?"

"Of course," Harry replied. "After all, we did have to deal with him for two days. And I know Professor Dumbledore believes in fairness." He heard a low chuckle, and smiled. Maybe this hadn't been such a bad week after all.