- Rating:
- PG-13
- House:
- Riddikulus
- Characters:
- Harry Potter
- Genres:
- Humor Parody
- Era:
- Multiple Eras
- Spoilers:
- Philosopher's Stone Chamber of Secrets Prizoner of Azkaban Goblet of Fire Order of the Phoenix Quidditch Through the Ages Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them
- Stats:
-
Published: 02/28/2005Updated: 02/28/2005Words: 2,566Chapters: 1Hits: 395
Dress Up
sygirlvalor
- Story Summary:
- Poor little Harry. Always having the bad hair, the big ugly clothes, those horrible glasses. But it doesn't have to be that way, you know.
- Posted:
- 02/28/2005
- Hits:
- 395
- Author's Note:
- This is definitely a humor attempt.
Harry strolled down a street in Surrey, England. The Dursleys were gone for the week and Harry was left home alone. It was a last minute trip seeing that Aunt Marge's heart attack was completely unforeseeable (except for the fact that she was 200 pounds overweight). They couldn't find a spot for him, so they left him at home with the promise that if ANYTHING was missing or he damaged anything, he would be flayed within an inch of his life.
The first two days were bliss. Harry watched a couple hours of TV, played on Dudley's computers, and did his school work. But Harry got quickly bored. At the end of the second day, Harry sent a request to Gringott's for muggle money. A wizard card, the equivalent of a credit card, with unlimited balance (Harry had much more money in his account than he knew about) was sent the next morning. He finally decided to buy clothes that actually fit him. Since Harry had no way of actually going to Diagon Alley, he would have to just have Muggle clothing.
This is what Harry was doing now. He road to the shopping center that was located twelve or so miles from the Dursleys. Name brands and other popular stores could be found in there. Entering through the revolving doors, Harry entered the capitalist's utopia. He quickly entered the first promising-looking store.
It was a place filled with neon lights and other eccentricities. Harry looked through the store without success. Several more stores went by like this. Finally, Harry found a store.
The store had modern men's clothing of all kinds. Harry looked up and down the stands full of clothing. Suddenly, Harry felt a tap on his arm.
"Excuse, me. But, could you use some help?" asked a pretty looking store worker. Harry looked at her for a moment, considering.
"Yes, I could use some help. I need new clothes that fit me better," replied Harry. The girl looked him up and down.
"All right. I know what you need. Do you have any requests?" When Harry shook his head, the girl grabbed his arm and said, "Okay, come with me." She quickly dragged him over to a corner of the room. "How old are you? And what size are you?"
"I'm 16, but I don't know what size I am."
"Don't know what size you are? Okay, I need to measure you then." The girl pulled out a measuring tape and quickly measured him. She looked at him, told him to stay put, and went off. She came back a minute later, carrying a large pile of clothing. "Okay, I want you to try this, this, and this on, then come out here and show me. Oh, by the way. Do you need underwear?" Harry took the clothing and nodded to her. She raised an eyebrow, smiled, and went off. Harry went into a changing booth and quickly changed. He looked at himself appraisingly in the outfit. It was a sleeveless, black knit shirt with black leather pants and a wide, black belt. "Are you done?"
"Yes." Harry walked out of the booth and stood before the girl. She nodded.
"You look much better in those clothes. The black really works for you. Okay, here's some more I want you to try on. Oh, and here are some boots. Put those on as well." Harry quickly changed. He was wearing a white shirt that had Don't Run, It's Just You written on it. He also was wearing the boots and a pair of jeans. He walked out quickly.
"The nice-boy look does not work for you. Leave the boots, put the rest of the close on that chair. Here's what's next. I'll be right back." Harry went in and changed. The process repeated itself with varying results. Pretty soon Harry had a new wardrobe.
"All right. You have underwear of all kinds. You have a lot more outfits and don't forget to mix and match. You have some footwear. Okay, personally I recommend that you lose the glasses and get you hair done differently," said the girl while bagging the clothing.
"Do you think I should get my ears pierced?" asked Harry, wearing one of his new outfits. The girl responded without looking up.
"Yes. There is a place farther down that does piercing. They also do tattoos. They're really good. I've had a couple of things done with them before. Okay, how do you want to pay? The total is £1057, exactly." Harry handed over his wizard's card. She looked at it for a moment, ran it through the machine, and printed out the receipt.
Harry left the store feeling successful. So he should do his hair differently? There was a salon right across from the store he was just in. He walked in. Wigs of all kinds littered the counters. Women with unusual colors walked in and out. Men were getting their hair done too. Harry walked up to the cash register. "Excuse me? Can I get my hair cut? I don't have an appointment." The lady that stood behind the cash register looked Harry up and down. She smiled suggestively at him.
"Sure. Just have a seat in that chair and we'll begin right away." Harry placed his bags by his chair, sat down, and looked around the room. He suddenly realized that there were other people waiting. They all gave Harry a murderous glare. But before he could respond, Harry's attention was grasped by the hair stylist.
"Okay, honey. What should we do to your hair?" The hair stylist combed through his messy hair and looked at the way all hair stylists do. "It seems to have been a while since you last got your hair cut. Do you still want your hair around your chin or what?" Harry looked at his reflection for a moment then told her to do whatever she wanted. A glint appeared in her eyes. "Anything? Like color or anything?" Harry nodded and sat back. A smirk appeared on her lips as she got all her supplies together.
"You can't see what it will look like until it's all done. All right, here we go." She started clipping and snipping, but Harry payed no attention. He kept his eyes closed and just relaxed. Every once in a while she would tell him to turn his head. Harry just did as he was told.
"Okay, now I'm going to rinse your hair. Please lean back in the chair." Harry leaned back and rested his neck on the sink that she pulled up. She messed around with his hair some and started running the water through it. "Please sit up." Harry sat up and the stylist went back to work. She blow- dried his hair. Finally his hair was done. She turned his chair towards the mirror and told him to open his eyes. He opened the and gazed with shock.
His-HIS-hair was now a deep green. It looked almost black, but when he turned his head it was noticeably green. It was still longer than it used to be, but it was neater than it had recently. It just gently curled at his chin. Harry turned to her and smiled. "Thank you. I like it." She grinned and walked over to the cash register as Harry collected his things. She whispered something into the ear of the lady that Harry first talked to. The cashier nodded and then spoke to Harry as he came over. "That'll be £35 for the haircut and color." Harry handed over his credit card.
As he was leaving the store the stylists and cashier whistled appreciatively. Harry just smiled.
Harry walked down further and saw the piercing and tattoo place the store clerk told him about. The decor was dark and two piercing and tattoo covered people were standing behind the counter. "Hey," one of them said, a girl. "Can I help you?"
Harry nodded. "Yeah, can I get my ear pierced?"
The girl nodded and the nudged the guy next to her. "Tom here does piercings." Tom looked up from the journal he was writing in. He saw Harry's clothing and hair, smirked, and walked over.
"So you want a piercing? Okay, have a seat." Harry dumped his stuff and sat done in a black leather recliner. Tom grabbed some things and a stool. "What ear?" asked Tom as he set down the stool. Harry thought a moment before pointing.
"My left ear twice," Harry said. "Can I have silver or something like it?" Tom walked behind the counter to get the earrings.
"We only carry gold and titanium. Is titanium okay?" Tom held up two boxes.
"Titanium's fine. I want one here," Harry pointed to his earlobe, "and here," pointing to his cartilage. Tom pushed the stool over to Harry's left side.
"Okay, here I go." Harry closed his eyes. The cold feel of metal touched his earlobe, but he just ignored it.
SNAP
A pinching feeling was all that Harry felt. "Here's the next one." One the tip of his ear Harry now felt the cold metal. It snapped again and slight pain filled his ear. "I'm done," Tom said. Harry opened his eyes. His ear felt numb. The girl came over with a mirror. "Here you go."
Harry held the mirror up. A completely different reflection met his eyes than he was used to. Turning his head he saw the new earrings. Grinning, Harry thought to himself that he was now wearing Slytherin colors. "How much do I owe you?" Harry asked as he handed back the mirror.
"Total: £23,35," Tom said as he gathered the supplies and trash. Harry gathered his things and handed over his card to the girl.
As she was processing the money Harry asked, "Can I get contacts around here?" The girl laughed. "Are you getting a make-over? Yeah, there's a place across the street." She handed back Harry's card and he left the store.
Harry quickly walked over to the other side of the street. A little down was an optometrist. Harry quickly walked in.
A classical doctor's office greeted his eyes. A tired looking receptionist sat behind a long desk. "May I help you?" she asked, looking at his curious appearance.
"Yes," Harry replied as he walked forward to her. "Can I get an eye appointment for contact lenses today?"
She sighed and handed him a form to fill out. Harry took a seat next to the door and started filling out the form.
Name: Last, First Potter, Harry
Address: 4 Privet Dr, Little Whinging, Surrey
Insurance (If yes, write # in the given blank): No
Do you have glasses/contacts? Yes
When was the last appointment? 7 years
Glasses or contacts if needed? Contacts
Are you a minor? Yes
Do you have any medical problems or allergies to medications? No.
Harry walked up to the front desk and handed the form back to the receptionist. She glanced at it. "Do you have parent permission?" she asked. Harry laughed and then looked at her sadly.
"I'm an orphan," he said softly. Her eyes widened and her mouth shaped an "O." She gained her composure and quickly went back at looking at the form.
Once she finished looking at the form, she nodded. "All right," she said. "The exam will cost quite a large amount of money. Do you have enough?" Harry handed over his card. She took it looked at it and ran it through the computer. "Okay, the balance checks out. Please have a seat, we'll call you as soon as possible."
"Can I leave my stuff in here?" Harry asked.
"Sure, we'll watch it."
Harry sat back down in his seat. Several people gave him odd looks, but there were two teenage girls the smiled suggestively at him. Harry just grinned in return. After about an hour a nasally voice called out, "Harry Potter?" Harry stood and walked over to the puny man in a lab coat. The man gave Harry his hand. "I'm Dr. Thompson. Please come this way." Harry followed the short man into a small office. There were the typical optometrist tools in there. Doctor Thompson directed Harry to sit down in the large chair.
"All right, Mr. Potter. Here we go." Test after test was performed. Puffs of air were shot into Harry's eyes, blinking dots were traced, reading line after line of letters, bright lights shining into his eyes, and his old glasses being tested. Finally, the tests were finished.
The doctor scooted his chair next to Harry's and gazed up at him. "Well, it seems your vision has improved since the last time you received your glasses. You don't have an astigmatism that makes your contacts cheaper and more readily available. I'll order your contacts tonight and they should be in tomorrow afternoon. I'm ordering a year's supply. Is that alright?"
"Can they be delivered to my address? I can't drive and it is hard for me to get a ride to the city."
"Yes, they can be delivered but they will come the day after tomorrow. Is that acceptable?" Harry nodded. Doctor Thompson stood up and shook Harry's hand. "Well, I hope I'll see you again, Mr. Potter." The doctor showed Harry to the reception area. Harry picked up his bags, thanked the receptionist and walked to the bus stop.
Harry arrived at the house half an hour later. He quickly unpacked his things and then put them in his trunk. Once he was done, Harry slumped onto the couch completely satisfied with the days activities.
~ * ~ * ~
The crowded train station was bustling back and forth, barely paying attention to the oddly dressed, but handsome nonetheless, teenager boy. Pushing his cart with his owl and many packages, Harry Potter made his way to Platform 9 ¾. He stood in front of it for a moment before cautiously backing up into it. With one final step Harry broke through.
The chatter of students, squawking owls, and the whistle of the steam engine brought a comfortable familiarity to Harry. He pushed back his hair out of his eyes. He pushed his cart up to the loaders and allowed them to put Hedwig on. He whispered a good-bye to her then went to board the train. Just then a whistle came from a girl not to far away. Harry turned around. A group of 6th and 7th year girls were staring appreciatively at him. When they looked at his face they recognized him.
"Harry?"
"Potter?"
"He's hot!"
"What happened to him?"
Several other people took notice of him. Harry just gave a jaunty little grin and got onto the train. He claimed an empty compartment and waited for Hermione and Ron. As he stared out the window, Harry rubbed his hands over his eyes, emphasizing his lack of glasses. A quick shake of his head accentuated his hair cut and showed of his earrings. A gasp from the girls looking into his compartment alerted him that he was being watched. Harry smirked once more and waved to them.
Suddenly Hermione burst in. "Harry," she cried. "You've changed! I mean wow!" She looked up and down at his black clothing and his green hair. She sat down next to him and scooted close. She whispered into his ear, "You're really hot."