The Alternative to Loneliness

Ch. 15

Answers

Harry didn't care much for the idea of having Luna tagging along. He would have said so, too, if he didn't think Colin would have refused to help. But the smaller boy had grown a backbone in the last few weeks.

Luna was alright, he supposed. She'd helped out a lot with the Ministry raid and was in the DA, but still, he wasn't sure if he liked the idea of her watching the shoot. It was one thing to be naked in front of Colin. It wasn't anything the kid had never seen before. Luna was another thing. For one, she was a girl. He'd never been naked in front of one and had never seen one as such, either. Nor did he have any desire to. For another, there was no denying she was immeasurably weird. Who knew what things she'd point out and call quigglysnuffs or pifflepoffles or whatnot.

But now Harry found himself grudgingly leading the two of them down the corridor late at night, his Firebolt over his shoulder. That part wouldn't come for a bit, and maybe she'd grow tired before it did, he reasoned. Ravenclaws studied a lot and got up early to use the library. He'd seen it. That meant they went to bed early. And that meant she wouldn't last long.

"Oh but Harry, you've missed your stop," Luna said and took hold of his robe sleeve.

Harry looked around and realized that he had. But how had she known? "Er...right. But how--"

"And the sky is very clear, so it will be perfect!"

Harry looked at Colin, perplexed. He hadn't told anybody about his and Draco's meeting on the Astronomy Tower. Nor had there been anybody else there. If there had, he certainly would have remembered.

Luna opened the door and tugged Harry and Colin through. The older boy then checked over his broom as the younger checked over his camera. Luna set to work erecting the mirrors and such. When everything was set and everybody was satisfied that things were as they should be, Colin stepped forward and cleared his throat. "Right then. Are we all ready?"

Harry turned to look up at the sky, suddenly at a loss. "Merlin, where is it?"

Luna stepped up beside him and pointed. "There are those two stars and that one in the particular proximity, you see. But perhaps it should wait for after the tower shots."

Harry shook his head. "I was looking for Draco," he explained.

"Yes, I know, and it is there, just as I showed you," she said, pointing again. "But it started with talking, you know."

He looked at Colin again, even more perplexed. "Er...right. It did. Well, here then." He walked over to the place where he and Draco had talked that one night and took from his pocket the glass sculpture.

Colin saw it and stepped forward. "What's that?"

Before Harry could answer, Luna wrapped her arms around him from behind and said, "That is there breath, mingling on a cold night together."

Harry looked at her sharply. How had she known that? How did she always know these things? "It symbolizes Draco and me together," he admitted, going a bit red.

"Right, so..." Harry began, then waved his hand as if to signal Colin to get on with it.

Colin scrambled for his tripod and set up the camera. Luna needed little prompting with the mirrors, she seemed to be a natural and see just what sort of lighting each picture required.

After a roll was taken, Harry picked up his broom and looked up into the sky again. "Erm...where was it?" he asked. Luna pointed and he nodded. "Thanks."

In another instant, Harry was in the air. "Tell me when I'm lined up!" he yelled down as he searched the sky for the constellation he had once again lost.

"You have gone too far!" Luna called back up. "You must go back a little more."

It took about five minutes before Luna and Colin were satisfied. Harry kept bobbing to one side too far or going too low in the air. Finally, he was perfectly lined up and Colin shot half-a-dozen pictures before the shot was ruined. When he called up that he was done, the older boy started flying around, clutching the glass sculpture to his chest.

The shoot wasn't even getting started, Colin realized as they left the Astronomy Tower and headed for another tower. It was going to be a long night.

The next location was the balcony off of Ravenclaw Tower, where Harry had had their date. Luna seemed to know an awful lot about this event, too. She certainly was bizarre, he thought, but shrugged it off. He supposed he shouldn't be surprised by anything she did or knew. She was Luna, after all.

But it was the third place that he was the most shocked by. It was on his way to the next stop when Luna pulled them both into a small room to the side. He found that they had entered...

"Madam Malkin's?" he sputtered. "How did we get here?"

"Oh, it is not Madam Malkins, but I am very pleased that you think it looks like it because of course that is what it is meant to look like!"

"Why did you make Madam Malkin's?" Colin asked, stepping up and looking at the black robes filling the open cabinets. He was astonished, though he wasn't really surprised. Luna was very insightful.

"It's the first place Draco and I met," Harry whispered, picking up the sleeve of a small robe he recognized as the first one he got. It was, in fact, the one he was being fitted for when Draco struck up the conversation.

And on the other stool was a robe he recognized as well. Draco's. From first year. He picked up the hem of the sleeve and ran his fingers over it, thinking about the first time he had seen the blond boy. Even back then, he had recognized how handsome the soon-to-be Slytherin was, how sharp and fare and elegant his features were.

He held it to his face and breathed in. The scent was faint, but it was still there. Citrus. He smelled like citrus even back then. How much about them both had changed and how much had stayed the same over the years? And what would change and what would remain in the years to come?

After what seemed like only a short moment, he shook his head to bring himself back to the present and looked over to see Colin changing the film. Luna smiled at him. "That was very lovely. Colin got two rolls!" she said and Colin nodded beside her.

Harry swallowed. What had they seen that was worthy of taking a picture? Had they known what he was thinking and would that come across in the photographs? Clutching the Slytherin's robes, he looked over at the other stool, where his old robe lay, and thought about what a horrid little berk he had been to Draco in their past years together. Draco had extended a hand of friendship and he had sneered at it. How much would he now know and how close would they be if he had taken that hand?

"Harry, I don't think we should take more than four rolls in this room," Colin said, winding a new roll in. "I don't have many left, see, and I think you said there were a lot of places to go."

Harry looked up, astonished. He'd taken another two rolls? How had that happened and he hadn't known? "Er...right. Come on then," he said, setting the robe down and stepping toward the door. Then he looked back when they reached the door. He didn't want to leave it here. The door was almost closed before he rushed back in and grabbed it.

For the next few hours, Harry led them through the castle to various locations. Each one had significance to him. Colin went through roll after roll, saying very little. Finally, there was one last place to go, a place he had never seen in real life, only in pictures. He wasn't sure how he was going to pull this off, since Draco would no doubt be asleep. Why hadn't he thought of that before? Damnit, he was an idiot. The location was all in his mind, but he hadn't stopped to think about whether it would be vacant or not.

"I hear that Draco is up in the Room of Requirement talking to a friend," Luna said then, almost as if in answer to his thoughts.

"Er...okay," Harry mumbled as they stood in front of the portal to the Slytherin common. "I forgot to get the password, I guess we can't go up."

"Old Money," Colin and Luna said together and the way opened almost immediately.

They moved inside and Colin lead the way up a spiral staircase. Harry and Luna followed behind and the older boy was shocked when they didn't stop at the door into their year. Instead, they continued to the very top to a smaller, though more ornate door. Colin whispered the password he remembered from before and the door opened.

After the initial shock of the room, Harry felt himself grow nervous. It was that time of the shoot. They were in Draco's room, he had the sculpture, Draco wasn't there, Luna was still up and setting mirrors around the room, and Colin was adjusting his camera. Harry swallowed. Sure, he'd expected this to come, but now that he was actually about to voluntarily be photographed naked, he wasn't sure about it anymore. What the bloody hell was he doing this for? This was ridiculous!

But this was for Draco and he would do this a thousand times over for him.

He swallowed again and reached for the buttons of his robe, then started to peel off his clothing. For Draco. For Draco. You can do this.

Then he took his wand and wrote in the air in green and gold sparkles, I Love You, Draco. Please Make Love To Me.

Well, here went.

~*~^~*~

There. It was done. Harry pulled the green satin sheets up over himself and sat up. The photo shoot had gone amazingly well, or so Luna and Colin said. He'd been horribly embarrassed, but the thought of Draco entering the room with a soft, loving look in his eyes had been motivation enough to keep going.

And now the only thing he could do was wait for the blonde's reaction.

"Er...thanks Colin, Luna." he said, a bit red in the cheeks. "If you can get those developed tonight and sent off, I'd greatly appreciate it."

Colin's eyes grew wide, "Tonight? You never said anything about getting them developed tonight! It's impossible."

Harry felt the beginnings of dread in his stomach. "How long would it take?" he asked hesitantly, afraid of the answer.

"Not 'til tomorrow at least," Colin said with a shake of his head. "And that's only if I ran straight over there right now and didn't get any sleep, like I ever get sleep these days besides, what with the ruddy nightmares and all. But I couldn't possibly do them all in the same night. Nobody could."

Harry's heart plummeted. His head dropped into his hands and he groaned. He was useless. He may be able to mysteriously vanquish the Dark Lord, but he was a disaster at impressing his would-be lover. Perhaps Draco would be better off without someone as incompetent as he seemed to be.

"Oh Harry, you look sad." Luna's lilting, airy voice floated into his ears. "You mustn't, you know, because I have learned about a spell that will speed up all the work Colin has to do and it will be done almost right away."

Harry's head jerked out of his hands to stare at her. Colin was also gaping wide-eyed at his girlfriend. "You do?" the boys chorused.

She nodded, smiling. "Oh yes. It was in the most interesting spell book in the library about magical shortcuts to tedious muggle routines. I am afraid the quality will not be nearly as good as if it was done the correct way, that is why I never told you Colin, you see, and I am ever so glad that I copied it down. It did turn out to be an emergency, didn't it? If we hadn't this spell, you would be unable to seduce Draco tonight."

Harry was sure his face was melting from the heat his intense blush was producing. "Er... yes. Thank you, Luna."

"Oh don't mention it." Luna smiled dreamily. Harry was quite sure that he never would.

"Well," she continued, "we will develop the photos and send them immediately. Have a good night, Harry."

Harry's stomach did a cartwheel. He swallowed hard as Colin and Luna crept from the room, leaving the boy wonder to his ever more panicked thoughts.

What if Draco had changed his mind and didn't want him anymore? What if he had decided that Harry was too much trouble and went after someone easier? His heart stopped. What if the friend he was talking to in the Room of Requirement was actually much more than a friend? After all, why would he need to meet with a friend in the Room, if he had his own bedroom?

Harry shook himself mentally. Draco loved him, and it would take a lot more than this silly misunderstanding to stop Draco loving him. No, he as going to be fine. They were going to be fine.

Another terrible thought struck Harry. What if he was bad in bed? What if Draco made love to him and was disappointed? He'd never done anything like this before, and Draco had probably had many, many lovers. People talked about how much they wanted to bed him all the time. Even in Gryffindor he had staunch admirers. Certainly in his wait for Harry to notice him, he had slept with a few of them. What if he didn't measure up?

Harry banished these thoughts and sat back to wait. It was only a matter of time before all his questions were answered.

~*~^~*~

Colin pulled out the last photo, and began binding the bunch into a package. He smiled at Luna, who smiled back.

"That spell was excellent, Luna. I hardly had to look at a one of them," Colin said, wrapping the package in brown paper.

"Oh," she replied, "I knew that Harry wouldn't think ahead. He always forges ahead without a plan and expects immediate results."

"How did you know all that stuff anyway?" Colin asked curiously.

"Well," Luna replied thoughtfully, "I like to know as much as I possibly can, so I find ways to learn without people seeing. Many people don't like other people learning other things."

"Is that why you learned the disillusionment spell?"

She nodded. "Of course there are other things to learn that cannot be learned by seeing. One must be told or must read about it. Blaise knows so very many things, so we exchange our knowledge."

Colin almost knocked over his camera in surprise. "Blaise?" he choked out. "Do you mean the Slytherin boy that Draco's always sitting with?"

"Yes." Luna smiled. "We have known each other almost all our lives. We went to the same wizarding preschool, you know. He was my best friend when I was small. Of course it was difficult to be friends the same way we used to be at first, since we were sorted into different houses, but when I started collecting passwords, I would sneak into his dorm room and we would talk about all the fascinating things that we had learned. He likes learning things too, you know, but he is only interested in knowledge about sex and people, where I like knowledge about everything."

Colin was aware that his mouth was hanging open. He shut it quickly. "That explains a lot," he said finally.

"Oh does it?" Luna asked. "I am glad. It would be a shame to make no sense, you know. After we send the package, we shall need to move to a different closet. Photo developing potions are distracting when one is having sex. And after all the work that we have done, I am sure we both would enjoy a nice, long nap. I certainly would, would you?"

Colin swallowed and nodded quickly.

~*~^~*~

Draco was beginning to grow tired, but Blaise was insisting that he stay longer.

"We hardly ever talk anymore," the other boy proclaimed, slinging his arm around Draco's neck in a brotherly fashion. Draco chuckled. He knew why Blaise was really doing this, of course. It was to keep him from moping about in his room over Harry. Which is exactly what he had been doing before Blaise had come knocking on his door and demanded that they have some 'quality platonic guy time.'

Draco's eyes were beginning to roll back in his head as Blaise began to (once again) discuss his amazing sex life with Seamus, when an owl burst seemingly out of nowhere, and landed in his lap.

Draco stared at it. He wasn't expecting any packages; not since Creevey had terminated their agreement. He curiously opened the package, hardly aware that Blaise had gone suddenly quiet and still.

Draco's breath hitched.

It was a package of photos, with a small note on the top.

For Draco Thomas Lucien Malfoy IV, from Harry James Potter

Draco's heart began to pound. He flipped though the photos.

What he saw brought tears to his mercurial eyes. Harry, flying in front of the constellation Draco, apology and affection burning in his green eyes. Harry, in the entrance hall of the castle lightly touching the hourglass of Slytherin emeralds. Harry, on the balcony where they had had their moonlit dinner, his breath fogging up his glasses, the crystal statue of their mingled breath clutched tightly to his chest. Harry, in a replica of Madam Malkin's, where they had met so long ago, holding his first Hogwarts robe in his hands, breathing in the lingering scent of Draco on it. Harry, holding his hand out to the camera in a perfect imitation of Draco's own gesture that had so long ago been refused. Draco's eyes were stinging with unshed tears and he gruffly tried to brush them away. Malfoys, he sternly told himself, did not cry over silly, romantic, nonsensical gestures from bloody Gryffindors, particularly those who were only interested in snogging.

But he knew that that wasn't true. Harry was showing him, in the medium both had used for so long to express what words could not say, that he was sorry. That he loved Draco. Draco turned the page and saw the last photo.

The world stopped for an instant. He stared at the photo. That delicious, beautiful, naked body he had stared at in photos, in his dreams, yet never in real life, beckoned him. The words shining in the air above Harry's head, I love you, Draco. Please make love to me, wrote themselves on his once hard, proud Malfoy heart. A small noise escaped him. Harry loved him. Harry. Loved him. Draco Malfoy. Harry, who he had waited so long for, fought for, bled for; he loved him back.

Then he noticed where Harry was in the photo. He sucked in his breath. Harry was in his bed. Harry was lying naked on his satin sheets, his head on Draco's emerald pillow that exactly matched Harry's eyes. Could it be that Harry was waiting for him? Still? He had to know.

He lurched to his feet, clutching the photos in his hand. His wide eyes turned to Blaise who smiled in understanding.

"Go to him," Blaise said in a gentle voice. "He's waiting for you."

"You knew about this?" Draco gasped out.

Blaise nodded, laughter in his dark eyes. "Of course I did, you nitwit. Someone had to lure you out of your room so Harry could get set up. Now hurry up, before he thinks you're not coming."

Draco needed no further incentive. He bolted through the door and sprinted away toward the Slytherin dungeons.

~*~^~*~

Draco burst into the Slytherin Common Room, startling Pansy and Theodore Nott out of their cozy snogging position by the fire. He raced past them, earning several odd glances as he raced up the stairs to his bedroom. He skidded to a halt in front of his door, and paused to catch his breath. He smoothed his hair back, opened the door softly, and stepped into the room.

Harry was asleep in his bed, obviously having dozed off while waiting for Draco to return. Draco crept slowly toward the bed. Something inside him was roaring in triumph. Harry was in his bed, where he had always known that the raven-haired boy belonged. He looked so right there; curled on his side, knees bent, one hand pillowing his cheek, the other resting on the pillow near his lips. Draco stared at him for a long moment.

Something was happening inside him, something he had never felt before. He wanted to cry, but he wasn't sad. He was happy, so fucking happy, and he couldn't stop the tears from filling his eyes. He sat on the edge of the bed, and ran a gentle finger down Harry's cheek.

The emerald eyes he loved so much fluttered open, looking puzzled for a moment. Then they latched onto him and were at once full of fear, full of hope. Draco said nothing. Harry sat up slowly, the green satin pooling at his waist.

"Draco," Harry started, "I'm so sorry for everything. I ..."

Harry stopped talking abruptly as the twin glitter of tears as fragile as cut glass fell down Draco's pale, perfect face. Harry stared. Draco looked slightly abashed and made to brush them away, but Harry caught his hand.

"Did I hurt you that much?" he whispered fearfully.

Draco gave Harry a soft smile. "It doesn't matter. They were tears of relief that I finally have your love. I do, don't I?"

Harry blushed and stared at the bed sheets. "Yes."

They were quiet for a moment, then Draco asked in a more composed voice, "I take it, then, that you meant the message in your last picture?"

Harry looked suddenly anxious, "Well, er, yes. I mean..."

Draco stared at him for a long moment. "Is that a yes or no?"

Harry hesitated for a moment more, before lifting his eyes to Draco's silver ones to whisper, "Yes."

Draco's eyes had that burning look again, but all he said was a soft, "Well then."

He leaned into Harry, capturing his lips in a soft but passionate kiss. Harry returned it in kind. Soon they were wrapped around each other so tightly it was impossible to tell where Draco ended and Harry began. Draco was kissing all over Harry's burning body; down his jaw line, his neck, nipping along Harry's hipbone; everywhere but the place Harry so desperately needed him to be. Harry was moaning, his eyes wild with desire.

"Merlin, Draco," Harry gasped, "Please...just...oh!..."

Draco sat up, a wicked smile on his face. Harry shivered.

"I still can't break my promise to you, lover," Draco said, his voice husky. "You have to tell me what you want."

"God! Make love to me, please! Just do it!" Harry hissed.

Draco hesitated. "I will, Harry, but I should tell you, I've never done this before. So I apologize if it's not..."

Harry sat bolt upright. "You're a virgin?!" he asked in disbelief.

Draco turned pink.

"I was waiting for you," he said quietly.

Harry threw himself into his lover's arms. "Thank you," he murmured fiercely. "Thank you."

Draco cradled him for a moment, then released Harry and stood. Harry watched in silence as Draco shed his robe, tie, and loafers. He pulled off his socks and began to unbutton his shirt. As inch by inch of Draco's perfect chest was revealed, Harry began to feel faint. The white button-up was soon tossed carelessly aside and Draco began undoing the button of his trousers. He slid them down, stepped out of them. His boxers soon followed.

Harry was speechless. Draco was beautiful, more beautiful than could ever have been captured on film. He was like a piece of art. He reached for the blond's hand and pulled him roughly onto the bed.

They were kissing and licking and nibbling everywhere, touching in places that had never been touched before. Draco's mouth was everywhere and Harry's hands were everywhere and there was nothing but the two of them and it was bliss. Bliss. Harry was shocked at how wonderful he felt, and then Draco had joined him, and he gasped at the sensation of it. It was uncomfortable at first, but Draco was gentle and soon the unpleasantness gave way to pleasure, and Harry felt like he was soaring above the world. All around him was Draco's scent, Draco's skin, Draco's hair, Draco's voice telling him he was beautiful, he was perfect, that he loved him, over and over in an unending litany.

And then everything shattered and they were in Heaven, and Harry cried out and Draco called his name, and for one shining endless moment, everything was erased but them.

Harry went limp, and Draco collapsed on top of him, breathing hard. They stayed that way for a moment, still joined as one body, before Draco separated them, and turned to cradle Harry in his arms.

They were quiet for a long time. Draco's left hand was carding lazily through Harry's hair. Harry was holding the other, smiling softly, his eyes shut. After a moment Harry opened his eyes and gave Draco's lips a soft kiss.

"Thank you," he whispered.

Draco smiled in return. "I didn't do it alone, you know."

They were quiet again, and then Draco shifted so he was looking into Harry's eyes. "Stay with me tonight," he whispered.

Harry looked puzzled. "You mean, all night?"

Draco nodded. Harry laughed suddenly. "I'd love to see the look on Pansy's face when I waltz out of your room in the morning wearing yesterdays robes."

Draco chuckled, "I'd love to see Vinnie and Greg try and puzzle out exactly what happened."

Harry sniggered. Draco shifted a little.

"Well?" he asked. "Will you?"

Harry smiled. "'Course I will. I may even make a habit out of it."

Draco grinned. "Good. We'll have to christen the Gryffindor dorms some other night."

"Deal," Harry murmured sleepily. Draco smiled and pulled the blankets up over the other boy and spooned against his back. Harry let out a contented sigh.

Draco was almost asleep when Harry's voice asked in a tone half full of dreams, "Does this mean you're my boyfriend?"

Draco smiled and snuggled in closer, "That's exactly what this means Harry."