The Alternative to Loneliness

Ch. 5

Anxiety, Anticipation, and Taking Ones Work Home

Harry was silent at first when Ron and Hermione came in after class and settled themselves into the large chairs by the fireplace. He wanted to talk to them about what had just happened hours earlier, but at the moment, there were far too many people around. Colin wasn't anywhere to be seen, thank Merlin. Probably off doing something suspicious. He choked back a laugh at the thought; 'doing something suspicious' wouldn't necessarily be the first thing that came to mind when he thought of the tiny Gryffindor boy, but recent circumstances sobered him to the thought that something decidedly suspicious must be going on.

Finally, when the population of the Gryffindor had dwindled down to a bare few, Harry leaned forward in his armchair. "Ron? Hermione? Have you noticed anything...odd about Colin Creevey lately?"

Ron looked up at Harry from his copy of Quidditch Through the Ages. "More than usual, you mean?"

Hermione didn't bother to stop scribbling her History of Magic essay, which was already three feet longer than necessary. "Honestly, Ron, don't be so mean. There's nothing wrong with Colin."

Ron snorted as he took a swig from the butterbeer he'd nicked from the kitchens, courtesy of Dobby. "Right. He's only totally gaga about Harry, and he's dating Looney Lovegood. More than a bit odd, if you ask me." He paused, considering. "Luna's alright, I suppose--good laugh, that girl--but Colin is weird, Hermione, no denying it."

Harry interrupted nervously as Hermione opened her mouth to retort. "Is he gaga over me? What's that mean exactly?"

Ron laughed. "Come on, mate. You know he hero-worships you. You thought he wanted to take pictures of you because you're so photogenic?"

Harry glared. "I'm very photogenic, thank you, but kudos on knowing a word longer than three syllables."

Hermione let out a long-suffering sigh. "Is something bothering you Harry? Why did you ask about Colin anyway?"

Harry shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "Well, I don't know, he's been sort of turning up wherever I am and he always has that camera around. He seems terrified of me for some reason. And," Harry looked around the common room nervously and leaned forward to whisper, "he seemed to be taking pictures while I was...ah...in the shower just now. He said it was a camera malfunction but, I don't know...he almost knocked into me while I was flying after practice a couple days ago. He said he was trying to line up a shot or something. But I swear, every time I turn around, he's there. It's weird."

Hermione looked thoughtful. Ron looked aghast. "In the shower?" He was incredulous, then apprehensive. "You weren't having a wank, were you?"

Harry's face went so red, Uncle Vernon would have been proud. "RON!" he hissed. "Why would you...I mean...Hermione's listening..."

Hermione snorted inelegantly. "Harry, please. Just because I'm a girl doesn't mean I'm brainless. Anyway, it's not like boys have a monopoly on that sort of thing."

Ron stared at her in amazement. "Do you wank?"

Hermione glared at him, then ignored his question. "Harry, it seems to me that Colin is just confused right now. He's probably very mixed up. I mean, he's had a crush on you for ages, but now he's dating Luna, and I'm sure that's complicating things. He probably is feeling very upset about liking boys and girls, and he's trying to sort out his sexuality. From what Ginny's told me, it's a very confusing thing to try and puzzle out. He's probably reverting back to his crush on you, because it's safe territory, whereas Luna is new and scary. I'm sure after a while he'll get over it and realize what he really wants. Just ignore it Harry, and he'll sort it out on his own time."

Harry and Ron were speechless. They stared helplessly at each other. Then Harry managed to choke out, "Colin...crush...on me...AGES?!"

Hermione sighed again. "You didn't know? What did you think it was all about?"

Harry opened his mouth, shut it, then opened it again. "I thought he just, you know, looked up to me or whatever."

Hermione nodded wisely. "Yes, that was part of it of course, but he did have a crush on you."

Harry did not look at all reassured. Ron's face was an interesting mix of confusion, horror, and disgust. Hermione slammed her book shut, looking cross. "Well, you wanted my advice so there it is. Just ignore it, Harry, and it'll resolve itself. Don't go making it harder on Colin. Now, I'm going to the library."

Hermione gathered up her things and stalked out the portrait hole, leaving Harry and Ron speechless in her wake. Silence prevailed until Ron asked, "Do you think she does wank?"

Harry glared at Ron. "That's hardly the point, is it?"

Ron had the decency to look slightly abashed. "Well no, but blimey, think about it."

Harry groaned and made a disgusted face. "I'd really rather not, thanks."

Ron grinned, then asked. "So what are you going to do about Colin?"

Harry looked slightly uncomfortable. "Well, I guess I'll just ignore it like Hermione said. For now, anyway."

~*~^~*~

Colin tied some string around the bulky package of photos (he had taken seven rolls this time). He hoped that Draco Malfoy appreciated all the trouble he'd gone through, although to be honest, Draco probably didn't care. Colin shook his head. He was going to have to be even more careful about taking his pictures from now on, especially after what had happened in the showers earlier. He didn't fancy being crucioed by Draco, but neither was he partial to the idea of Harry beating him with his Firebolt. All in all, this predicament was something Colin wanted over and done with as soon as possible.

He'd gotten plenty of good shots; almost all of the ones he had taken had turned out. Perhaps Draco would be satisfied with these and he would get paid and be done with the whole business. Though it seemed unlikely. Draco Malfoy probably wanted to get these pictures on a regular basis until he got what he really wanted. Which also seemed highly unlikely.

Colin sighed tiredly. It had taken him a long time to develop all those photographs and it was now past curfew. He decided to send them in the morning, so as not to be caught by Filch on his way to the owlry. He took the package and headed out of the room, trudging wearily towards Gryffindor Tower. Maybe he would wake up and this would all be some dream.

Again, unlikely.

~*~^~*~

Draco was in a rage. An absolute rage. Things were not going well this morning.

He had somehow managed to dismantle his alarm spell while half asleep and had waken very late. His shampoo had run out and he'd been forced to run down the hall, soaking wet to borrow Blaise's. It smelled like vanilla too, which Draco hated. Then he'd spilled purple ink on his nicest white button-up and had to wear his third best, as he'd worn his second best the day before. He had not yet received his next package of photos and Harry was angry at him for no reason whatsoever. It wasn't like it was his fault that the Weasel had decided hexing him in class was the best idea since Quidditch. And Draco had gone to Snape and bugged him to not give Harry detention. Snape had known Draco since he was a baby and was quite partial to the Slytherin, so it had been rather easy to convince him.

But the icing on the cake had been when he'd nearly died falling down the stairs in his hurry to get to Potions on time. A fine way to go, very dignified and befitting a Malfoy of his status. Not to mention he hadn't had time to let his hair dry and Harry was going to see him looking all frumpy.

Draco raced down the corridors until he was abruptly halted by what appeared to be a feather duster flying into his face. He let out a yell and skidded to a halt. The feather duster was, upon closer inspection, a school owl, which seemed very intent on delivering a package to him. For the second time in three days, Draco let out a growl and seriously considered cursing the owl. Surely an Unforgivable was forgivable if performed on an animal.

He stopped however, when he noticed it was the same package that had contained those delicious photos of Harry yesterday. Eager to see what Creevey had sent, Draco ripped open the brown paper. He quickly scanned through the images.

Dear. Sweet. Merlin.

He had done it. Creevey had managed it. He'd gotten Harry in the shower. He was undressing, stepping under the stream of hot water, lathering his hair.

Oh god in heaven, was he...wanking!?

The room was suddenly much too warm and his tie much too tight. Draco realized he had beads of sweat on his forehead; despite his always firm assertion that Malfoys did not sweat, they glistened. He loosened his tie and gulped in breath.

Creevey was getting a Christmas bonus as well.

Oh god, but Harry was beautiful. Better than Draco had ever imagined. God. Fucking perfection, that's what Harry was. Lightly toned muscles from Quidditch, olive skin, a light amount of chest hair, gorgeous legs...perfect. Oh, Harry was so beautiful. So...

Fuck potions. He'd tell Snape he'd been sick and make up the work later. He needed to get back to his room NOW. He needed to get back and enjoy Harry's perfection properly. Fuck, but he was ready for that. He bundled up the photos in their package and turned to dash back to his room as fast as he could. Unfortunately, his way was blocked by another body that had just hurtled around the corner.

Draco sucked in an agonized breath. It was Harry, in the flesh, and obviously late for Potions as well. Draco restrained himself from throwing himself at Harry, snogging him senseless, and then taking care of his rather...pressing problem with rapid expediency. The fact that he could even think the word expediency in his current state was certainly a credit to that infamous Malfoy upbringing. Any lesser mortal would be reduced to monosyllables. A state which Draco was rapidly approaching as Harry narrowed his green eyes in Draco's direction.

"Potions is that way, Malfoy, in case you've forgotten," Harry remarked sarcastically.

Draco stared stupidly, his mind screaming I love you! and Shag me now!

Harry peered at him curiously. "Malfoy? You with me?"

No, screamed Draco's befuddled mind. And therein lies the problem!

"Malfoy?" Harry was beginning to look suspicious. "Are you making me late to get me detention again?"

Draco shook his head, eyeing Harry's chest. God, he wanted to rip that shirt away and latch his mouth onto those perfect nipples... He groaned and closed his eyes.

"Malfoy? Are you sick or something?"

Draco opened his eyes and saw a slight amount of concern in his expression. His heart soared. Harry was probably just concerned that he was about to hurl on his shoes, but even so it was a start.

"Malfoy?"

"Yes," Draco managed to gasp out while envisioning Harry writhing naked beneath him. "Sick. I'm sick. I was going back to bed. Excuse me."

He moved to go back to his room, but Harry blocked his way again. "You looked fine a few minutes ago. You're up to something," Harry said suspiciously.

Draco's restrain was rapidly deteriorating. "Not up to anything, I promise. I'm sick. Let me go to bed."

"You look fine. What's this all about then, Malfoy? Some Death Eater business? Your father's cronies have a job for you?"

"My father," Draco ground out, "was an idiotic, disgraceful excuse for a Malfoy, and there was no greater day when his presence stopped corrupting the world. His stupid Dark Lord is a half-blood lunatic, and I'm not up to anything. Now excuse me, I am ill, and I want to go back to bed."

With you in it, he added silently.

Harry looked astonished. "Malfoy..."

Draco could endure no more. If he didn't leave now, he'd say something he'd truly regret. He'd already spilled about his not supporting the Dark Lord, and who knew what he'd say next. He had to get away before the promise of what was under Harry's clothes was too much for Draco's tortured body.

"Look, Harry, I'm sick and I want to get to bed. If you'll excuse me."

Harry's eyes widened. "Did you just call me Harry?"

Draco froze. Fuck. What should he do? He couldn't deny it. But if he acknowledged it, Harry would certainly detain him further to ask why. What should Lord Malfoy do in this sort of situation? He took a deep breath and then disgraced himself forever.

He pushed past Harry and ran for his room.

~*~^~*~

Luna appeared to really like closets. Colin was just passing by the next day when she pounced out from behind a suit of armour and tugged him along until they had found a vacant closet. "Let's do it again, Colin," she urged. "I had such a lovely time before."

"Before what?"

"Before! In the closet! You know, where I had my hand?"

His whole face went the shade of his bed drapes. "Oh! Yes, that before," he said, thinking on how much he'd liked it and how soon after, he'd wished it wasn't soon after. "You want to? Again?"

She nodded, still tugging him toward the door. "But maybe you didn't care for it. You were yelling a little."

His face went hot again. "Er...was I? I don't remember really, you see, I was enjoying it so much I don't remember much of anything else!"

"Oh you were enjoying it!" she exclaimed, delighted. "I'm so very glad." And with that, she yanked him fully into the closet and shut the door.

They just kissed for a long while, they had become quite good at kissing, and then their hands started wandering here and there over arms and backs and chests and such. Then hands were on other parts and at first it was wonderful and Colin wondered why he had even been upset the last few days. Everything seemed perfectly blissful. He knew Luna was perfectly blissful.

Then everything went all wrong. He got the briefest flash in his mind of a shower. And a hand. Not his hand, though. And definitely not his shower. And then that's all he could think about! He couldn't stop, it was all there, right up to the ending. He tried to ignore it, the very thought of the ordeal had turned his stomach, and now he was imagining every little thing Luna was doing to Colin, Harry was doing to himself. He fought against the nausea when he should feel as incredible as he had the other day. Before he knew it, he'd let out a yelp and hopped away from Luna.

She looked at him in the darkness with her wide eyes. "Did I hurt you?"

He shook his head. "N--no. No."

"What's the matter. Do you want me to stop? Perhaps I was getting carried away or you are getting bored and want to do something else."

"No!" he exclaimed, trying to think of a way he could change directions without closing the door on this sort of closet play. "Of course not. I wasn't bored, I definitely wasn't! It was just so lovely and I had been thinking that maybe it's only feeling lovely to me and I thought it was very selfish of me, see, and I wanted you to feel lovely, too and that's why I moved away."

Her eyes widened. "Do you mean you want to use your hand on me?"

"If--if I can. I mean, can a person use their hand on a girl?"

"Oh yes, I use my hand on myself all the time!" she said.

Colin's heart was hammering with nerves, but he was intrigued. "May I try?"

She jumped a little and clapped her hands once, as if trying to contain her excitement to the small closet they were in. "I think it sounds wonderful. I have never had another person do such things to me, you know, and I expect it would be lovely. Is it?"

"Oh! It was for me, most definitely!" he said. Then they both sat down on the floor and started kissing again.

The image in his mind of that shower still wouldn't leave, but as his hands moved clumsily around (there was a lot more involved with girls), he found that it was less pronounced. In fact, he was enjoying so much what was going on in this closet and all the tiny noises Luna was making, Harry was at the furthest back part of his mind.

Then it was over and she curled up in his arms. Colin kissed the tip of her nose and snuggled down with her, smiling. This was what he liked, snuggling with Luna. She was very soft and her hair smelled like cucumbers and she understood him. She never thought he was weird or told him to stop taking pictures or running in the halls.

"If you want to have a tryst with Harry, I will cover for you."

Colin blinked up at the ceiling of the dark closet, thinking he'd just imagined it.

"I'll go down to the kitchens and pack you two a picnic."

No, he knew he heard it this time. "Us two? Who two?"

"You and Harry, of course," Luna said matter-of-factly.

"Why would Harry and I have a picnic?"

"Because you're in love!"

"Why do you think Harry and I are in love?!" he yelped. "I'm in love with you!"

She pointed through the darkness at something that was hanging over their heads. "Well, I am in love with you, but I think maybe you are in love with two people, then."

Colin whipped out his wand and lit it. Overhead was a picture of Harry Potter, very naked and very much enjoying whatever he was doing in the picture. Then Colin looked around and noticed that they were in his darkroom and that this was one of the pictures that he had forgotten to put away when he was so tired the night before.

"That's not...I don't...but I love you!"

"Oh, I won't ask questions, Colin," she assured him and kissed his earlobe. "Because your feelings are private unless you want to share them."

Colin stared at Luna for a long time, wondering if he should tell her and risk the ramifications. He wanted to be honest with her and he knew she would understand, but she said that she wouldn't ask and he didn't need to tell. So instead, he just wouldn't say anything.

As they were saying goodbye before a quick shower before lunch, Luna kissed him and said, "I won't tell anybody about the picture. Have a lovely shower and I shall think of you."

~*~^~*~

Colin thought about Luna while he showered and grinned to himself as he realized that she was thinking about him in the shower on the other side of the school. In a way, he supposed, they were showering together.

Things were starting to look up. Luna and he loved each other and had discovered a wonderful way to pass the time. He could hardly imagine any assignment worse than catching Harry adjusting his zoom lens...no, bad imagery. He'd never look at a zoom lens the same again. Err...polishing his Firebolt. That's good. And thanks to this job, he could afford to take that photography tour of the Orient he'd been wanting to for years.

When he stepped out of the shower, however, the smile dropped from his face as he noticed Draco Malfoy's eagle owl staring at him from atop one of the sconces. Colin froze. The owl continued to stare at him. He stepped toward his clothes and the owl's head swiveled to follow his progress across the room. Colin froze again...then very slowly crept forward.

It was all he could do just to get dressed. He could sense the bird's eyes on him as he pulled on his pants and trousers, then buttoned his shirt. It unnerved him, and not just because he knew that it had bad news from Draco.

Finally he supposed it was time to face the music. He walked over to the owl and took the letter it had tondued out for him.

Creevey-

Excellent work. I was most impressed, and I assure you that is saying something coming from me. I don't give out compliments easily. However, I was suitably impressed by the last package, which was owled to me. I enjoyed it tremendously to say the least. In light of the quality and quantity of the last package, I am enclosing a cheque for an additional two hundred Galleons separate from the thousand we had previously agreed upon. Consider it an early Christmas bonus. On that note, I did want to ask you not to claim this income if you plan on filing for taxes, as I intend to write it off as a personal business expense. My thanks.

For the next package, I will expect some shots of the subject as he is sleeping. This shouldn't be too difficult as you live just down the hall. Judging by your prompt return on the last two packages, I will expect the next installment within the next two days. Continuing on with this quick response is highly recommended, if you take my meaning. If you can manage to catch him sleeping in the nude, I might slip another hundred in my next owl. If not, do try for something sweet, yet provocative. Innocent yet naughty. I'm sure you'll manage something clever. I have a great deal of faith in you despite your dubious heritage and mousy appearance. It wouldn't do to let me down.

I expect your owl in the next two days. Happy early holidays.

In signing,

Lord of Malfoy Manor, Draco Thomas Lucien Malfoy IV

Ano domino 1996

Asleep? Naked...again?! But Colin didn't WANT to see him naked again! He clutched the letter and the cheque and sank to the floor, his knees too weak to support him anymore.

Draco Malfoy expected another difficult set of shots, this one possibly more. It was easy to snap away when Harry had his eyes closed in the white room with all that fog around. This would be near impossible to do without taking half the night doing slow-shutter speed shots. He'd need to figure something out...and quick.

Draco was giving him a deadline this time...or else.