Tom Riddle Chronicles: The New DADA Teacher

Chapter 4: Revelations

Note to self: never reminisce about the old days when you're talking to someone determined to figure out your true identity.

Harry wasn't just angry. He was very, very annoyed. Considering people have been messing with his mind since the first time he came to my class, I couldn't blame him.

"All right, that's enough," Harry screamed in frustration, "I am tired of all the riddles, I am tired of all the mind games and I am sick and tired of all the lies. Who are you and what do you want?"

In a flash, Cho pulled out her own wand making it very clear that if the Boy Who Lived made one wrong move, he might not live up to his reputation for long.

"Harry, put down you wand RIGHT NOW! You are not going to hurt him."

Me, I simply smiled.

"It's OK, Cho. If Harry wants to know the truth, I'll tell him. "

The two teenagers hesitantly lowered their wands.

"You might want to sit down for this one. You too, Cho. I owe you that much."

The fight with Ginny damaged most of the furniture in the office, so we simply sat on the floor.

"It all started with a young boy named Tom Marvolo Riddle. He was born in 1927. Tom didn't exactly have a nice childhood. His mother died shortly after he was born. His father was nowhere to be found. He was put in an orphanage that was far from ideal. When he was eleven, Tom found out that he was a wizard. The discovery gave him a new sense of purpose. He decided to put his past behind him and work to become the most powerful wizard that ever lived. Having experienced pain all his life, he was determined to use his powers to help the less fortunate.

"During his second year, he met a pretty, kind girl named Mei Ling. For the next two years, he pined after her until he finally got up the courage to ask her out. She said yes. For the first time ever, Tom felt completely happy.

Two months later, Tom wound up fighting Grindelwald, the most powerful Dark Wizard at the time. Tom barely survived. While his injuries healed, his soul was permanently scarred. All his pain was brought back to the surface. Finding out that his father abandoned his mother after he found out she was a witch made things even worse. Tom became moody, obsessive and angry. He was determined to have revenge on all those who wronged him no matter what it would take.

Yet, there was another side of Tom. A part of him still cared for his best friends and loved Mei Ling. Part of him still wanted to do good. He began to lead a double life. To the people he cared about, he was still good, compassionate and selfless. But in private, he dabbled in Dark Arts. He began gathering a small group of followers. Together, they harassed the Muggle-born wizards and witches that they deemed "unworthy to study magic". To him, the name "Tom" represented his good side, so he eventually came up with the name "Voldemort", which he used privately among his consorts.

For years, Tom tried to keep his two lives separate. But all the bad things he has done weighted heavily on his conscience. This conflict between two personas slowly eroded him moral clarity. In private, he became more and more willing to physically hurt people to get what he wanted. Eventually, even killing was no longer a problem. As the darkness in his soul grew, it began to creep into his public life. He became cruel to his loved ones. Even Mei wasn't safe from his wrath..."

I had to pause to regain my composure

"But despite everything, she still loved Tom. She remembered the boy who fell in love with her and she tried to bring him back. She was failing. By the end of their final year, Mei became afraid for herself. Shortly before graduation, Mei broke up with Tom.

Tom was heartbroken and angry. He decided that his good side was a weakness that he must get shed if he could ever hope to become of a truly powerful wizard. He traveled the world. He consulted all kinds of Dark Wizards until he finally came up with an ideal solution. He hoped to use an ancient Tibetan ritual to purge himself of all goodness. It was a long, tedious procedure, but Tom was patient.

There was just one thing he failed to account for. Once purged, the goodness doesn't just vanish. It has to go somewhere.

I woke up lying in a small, pretty clearing, naked. I instinctively summoned my wand. Nothing happened. As you know, a wizard can summon his wand from anywhere. I was naked, alone and defenseless. I tried to recall what happened. I remembered the ritual, then...nothing. A large portion of my memory was completely blank. Where was I? How did I get here? Did the ritual work?

I got up, staring at the rising sun. It's waking light dyed the feather-like clouds gold. A group of birds sprouted into the sky, celebrating a new beginning. A beam of light danced in the blades of grass, reflecting against tiny droplets of water. It was more beautiful than anything I have ever seen (Mei came pretty close, but she was a person, not a place). That's when it hit me. If my goodness were truly purged, I wouldn't have taken the time to admire the view. Evil cannot appreciate beauty- it can only corrupt it.

As a matter a fact, I couldn't feel as much a speck of darkness in my soul. All the evil that has condensed into it over the years was completely gone. And the strange thing was, I didn't mind at all. For the first time since my encounter with Grindelwand, I felt...free.

I wandered through the forest until I stumbled onto a group of Muggle hikers. I told them part of the truth: that I woke up in a forest without any idea how I got there. They fed me, gave me some clothes and offered to take me to the city. I gladly accepted.

As we rode to the city, I began to feel like something was seriously wrong. The feeling intensified when I got closer to the city. The cars that passed us by looked different then what I was used to. Some of the clothes people wore defied fashion sense. At first, I thought all those people were weirdoes, but then we got to the city, everybody was this weird. As soon I was dropped off, I ran to find the most recent newspaper. I checked the date. June 6^th, 1971. Somehow, I wound up twenty-six years in the future.

I was determined to find out what happened to me. Unfortunately, I didn't have much time to think about those things, since I had to find a way to earn money. Luckly, I still had a permit from Ministry of Magic of Britain to practice magic in public (as long as my audience doesn't realize it's real), so I became a stage magician. Meanwhile, I began hearing persistent rumors about a new order of Dark Wizards known as Death Eaters. They attacked Muggle-born wizards and pro-Muggle wizards using cruel, ruthless methods even I never resorted to. Nobody knew who they really were, but everybody whispered the name of their enigmatic leader: "Voldemort".

Everything I knew and everything I learned finally clicked together. The ritual worked exactly the way it was supposed to. Tom Marvolo Riddle became a creature of pure malice, unrestrained by conscience and guilt. But the goodness he expelled still existed. Its only purpose was to defy Voldermort's evil. The darker he became, the more powerful the goodness became. But then he did something so unspeakable that the goodness could not stand by and watch. It became... me.

The dark wizard who told Tom Marvolo Riddle about the ritual warned him that "the price is far more dangerous then the gain. " Of course, Voldemort was too arrogant to take it seriously.

My world was turned upside down. I needed to figure out what I was and where I belonged. I traveled the planet, visiting different masters of magical arts, learning their craft. It was a time of self-discovery, occasionally interrupted by the attacks of Death Eaters. They got bolder and their numbers grew. I couldn't fight the entire organization, but I fought any Death Eater who dared to hurt the innocent people on my watch.

Eventually, I made my way to Hogwarts. I discovered that the new headmaster, Dumbledore, was gathering an alliance against Voldemort. I told him my tale, confirming what he already suspected: Tom Marvolo Riddle and Voldemort were in fact one and the same. Dumbledore asked for my help, but I declined. How could I commit myself to anything if I wasn't even sure who I was?

I spent another two years traveling, until eventually, I made my way to Japan. It's a fairly unique place in a Wizarding world. Here, magic never quite went out of fashion; so Japanese wizards still see themselves as a part of Japanese Muggle society. Unlike European and American wizards, Japanese Wizards don't have a distinct Wizard culture. Personally, I liked it this way.

I was looking for Hirata Jikeiikou, one of the most renowned practitioners of East Asian style of magic. Despite his best attempts, I had little trouble finding him. That alone impressed him so much he agreed to teach me.

As I was patiently learning his craft, I got to know his daughter. Her name was Miyuki. For reasons I could not hope to grasp, she fell in love with me. Even though I felt the same way, I tried to discourage her. After what happened to Mei, I didn't want to risk hurting another innocent girl. But Miyuki wouldn't take no for an answer. She decided that I was brooding too much and set out to show me how to have fun. At first, I resisted, but then I realized that she made me happy. Miyuki was funny, clever, insightful, kind, graceful and unbelievably beautiful. She offered her love without conditions, without any reservations. Even finding out my true nature didn't change her mind. Suddenly, my past no longer mattered. I found what I have been searching for. I was Tom Riddle, a Muggleborn Light Wizard. I belonged in Japan with Miyuki by my side.

I decided to start over. Miyuki and I got married. I may have failed with Mei, but I was not about to fail with Miyuki. I decided to forget about my past and try to start over. We got married. Few months later, we had a beautiful baby girl. We decided to name her "Ayumi". It was a Japanese name, yet it could be easily abbreviated to a more English-sounding "Amy".

Meanwhile, the Death Eaters were growing bolder. Dumbledore and his supporters tried their best to fight them, but they didn't have much success. One day, Dumbledore showed up at my house and asked me to join the Order of Phoenix. Once again, I declined. I had a fulfilling, peaceful life. I wasn't about to let my past ruin it.

I thought I could run away from my past. Miyuki paid the ultimate price for my arrogance.

Ayumi was barely four months old when I came to my house and found Voldemort sitting in my living room. He was a gruesome sight, a hideous corruption of everything Tom Marvolo Riddle once was. But in a way, it was fitting. His appearance finally matched his soul.

Voldemort was quite alarmed to discover my existence. I knew too much. I could expose his true identity to the world. I could tell his followers things that would make them turn away from him for good. Normally, Voldemort would kill anyone who threatened him, but our powers were about evenly matched. So, Voldemort offered a position of power in his organization. I laughed in his face. I knew how he operated. Voldemort let his lackeys believe they had the power, while carefully making sure they never gained enough real power to escape his control. Voldemort changed tactics, promising to give me whatever I wanted. I told him that I already had everything I could ever want. Enraged, Voldemort swore he would make me suffer for my insolence and left. Confident in my power, I didn't take his warning seriously.

Two days later, I went shopping for a few hard-to-find magical ingredients Miyuki wanted. After hours of hunting legends, I went to a shrine owned by Miyuki's family to drop off my purchases. I was looking forward to a nice, relaxing bath. Instead, I found a Dark Mark floating over the shrine.

I didn't think. I just ran.

Voldemort was standing over Miyuki's body, watching as she drew her last breath. I ran to her side, but I was too late. My precious Miyuki, the love of my life died in my arms. I held her lifeless body, weeping. She was gone, and there was no magic in the world that could bring her back. Voldemort just stood there, gloating at my sorrow. That bastard! I reached for my wand, ready to make this monster pay for murdering Miyuki. But before I could cast a spell, he dissapparated away.

"I wanted to weep. I wanted to destroy. I wanted to mourn Miyuki. But I knew Voldemort wasn't through with me. I made arrangements to give Miyuki proper burial, took Ayumi and left Japan the next day. I knew I couldn't do this alone. I went to Hogwarts and asked for protection for my daughter. In exchange, I promised to join the Order of Phoenix. Dumbledore didn't judge. He just said he was glad to have me on his side.

For the nest few years, I fought side by side with some of the most remarkable wizards of their generation. We couldn't defeat Voldemort, but I like to think that we made a difference. We saved millions of innocent lives. We made it possible for ten million more children to be born. My only regret is that I couldn't prevent Harry's parents' deaths.

A few weeks before, I began to suspect that Peter Pettigrew was passing on information to someone else. But I didn't have enough evidence to prove it, so I kept quiet. As a result, the Potters were murdered and an innocent man was blamed for betraying them."

I sighed

"After Voldemort was defeated, I returned to Japan. I tried to raise Ayumi as best as I could, and at the end; I think I did a fairly good job. I made a good life for us. But I can no longer escape my past. All the crimes Tom Marvolo Riddle committed are on my hands. I let the darkness take him over. I stood by, helpless, while it ruined the lives of those Tom held dear, while it perverted everything good and decent about him. And no matter what I do, Voldemort is part of me. As much as I hate him for murdering all those innocent people and for ruining countless lives, I feel responsible for it, too.

A few months ago, I learned that Voldemort returned. Dumbledore offered a job here so I could be on hand in case he needs me. The rest, as they say, is history. "

For a while, there was just silence. Harry and Cho had a lot to process. My tale must have opened up many old wounds, but I didn't regret telling them the truth. No matter what the others may say, they had a right to know.

Finally, Harry smiled. It was a sad smile of an enlightened fool.

"And I thought spending the entire summer blaming myself for Cedric's death was bad.... I can't imagine what it's like for you to feel responsible for all those terrible things. I just can't imagine."

"You blamed yourself for Cedric's death!" Cho asked Harry, completely shocked. He nodded.

"Why?"

"Because if I didn't suggest that we hold the Triwizard Cup, he would still be alive today. And... I couldn't bear thinking about how much pain I caused you. You loved Cedric, and I let him die..."

"Harry...I am so sorry. I had no idea... For what it's worth, I never blamed you for Cedric's death... [I rolled my eyes. I knew better.] OK, maybe a few times... But then, coming back to Hogwarts, I listened to people I knew eagerly blaming this whole thing on you. And I realized that it wasn't fair. He was killed by one of Voldemort's flunkies, not you... I felt guilty for ever blaming this on you."

"No, Cho. Please don't feel guilty. I..."

In the movies, those kinds of scenes tend to end in kissing, or at least a proclamation of love. Alas, this was not a movie, so we had to settle for a hug.

Harry was grinning from ear to ear. I winked at him. Having gotten plenty of hugs from Mei, I could relate.

Finally, they parted and Harry asked:

"Tom. Why didn't you tell me the truth from the beginning? It would have saved us a lot of trouble."

"And miss this scene?" I laughed, "not a chance. Seriously, though, it was Dumbledore's idea. He wanted to see how far would you be willing to go to find out the truth about me. Would you give up after the first dead end, or would you pursue the truth no matter what? Would it ever occur to you to ask? Sirius and I thought it was a bad idea, but we had to play along."

"Why would Dumbledore do something like this?"

"Because he believes truth is one of the most important parts of our struggle against Voldemort. Death Eaters' beliefs are based on ignorance, secrecy and lies. It's not enough to defeat them. We must discredit their mission so that nobody would take up their cause again. Problem is, most people aren't willing to search for the truth. They just eat up whatever someone else hands to them. But there are people who try to find the truth on their own. They are the kind of people Dumbledore is looking for. After all, what's the point of fighting for truth if the fighters don't even believe in it? So, before Dumbledore invited your parents into the Order, he devised a test to see if they were what he was looking for. From then on, every potential member (except for yours truly) must go through some version of that test before they can join the Order. You would be amazed how many people failed it. You didn't quite go as we planned, but you asked me to tell you the truth. You were willing to believe it. Technically, you passed the test. Of course, if you still want to kill Sirius for lying to you, don't let me stop you."

Harry smiled. It will take a little while before he realizes that he was actually chosen to fight side by side with the veterans of the last struggle against Voldemort. Until then, I'll just let Harry enjoy himself.

"So does this mean I get to join the Order of Phoenix, too?" piped in Cho

"Dumbledore never considered you a candidate. But if you want to, I can vouch for you. "

"I'll think about it."

"By the way, Harry. One of those days, you might to fill in Cho on the few details she still doesn't know about. I mean, since she knows about me, you might as well tell her that Sirius Black is your Godfather."

"WHAT?" Cho's face turned pale.

"Well, you see..."

As Harry told Cho the story about how Sirius got framed for the murders that made him infamous, I went to check up on Ginny. Anteishita nami should have worn off by now.

Ginny was gone.