A Tale of Little Plot

Harry and Ron are still in Snape's office. There is still silence, during which neither of them talk. Because it's silence, and, as I said last chapter, silence requires no talking.

Harry: ... Right mess we're in here eh?

Ron: Yup.

There is a pause.

Harry: Bah, I'm too tired to think.

Ron: So... should we just go back to the tower and leave thinking until a later point?

Harry: Yeah, OK.

Harry walks over to the door and unlocks it using the same means as before (some spell or other which I can't remember), then goes back to Ron and grabs his wrists. Ron looks annoyed. Harry then picks up the invisibility cloak and attempts to cover as much of himself and his trusty sidekick with it as is possible - ie. all of Harry and about half of Ron.

Ron: You know, my legs are still visible.

Harry: Oh dear.

Harry does nothing to rectify the situation. Ron sighs despairingly, and tucks his legs up so that less of them are visible. After much dragging around the castle he gives up as it is too much effort, but by now they are nearly at the portrait-hole, so that's OK. In fact, to avoid me having to add any more, by now they ARE at the portrait-hole.

Fat Lady: [she is awake, surprisingly, considering it's the middle of the night. She beams at them] Hello boys. Your hair looks a bit dry today you know, have you considered using pantene pro-v?

Harry: Bah, Humbug.

The painting swings open.

Harry: Wow, was that the password?

Ron: Yes. Evidently.

Harry: Right. I'd forgotten.

Ron: But - but - you gave the - [he gives up] Never mind.

Harry drags him through the hole, which closes behind them. He then drags Ron across the common room and up the stairs into the dorm, at which point he relinquishes the death-grip he has on Ron's wrists. Ron begins to rub his wrists, attempting to coax his blood back into its normail circulation. Meanwhile Harry has climbed into bed, having been in his pyjamas all this time.

Ron: Harry, why d'y-

Harry has begun to snore loudly, but not fakely. Ron sighs despairingly.

---

Same bat place, however not same bat time. *suddenly realises it is in fact still night* Damn. *glares at scene, which swiftly changes. Sunlight streams through the curtains and birds can be heard tweeting outside. Twinkly music is played* ... Ok, lose the twinkly music. *twinkly music cuts off abruptly* Good-O.

Harry: [begins to stir] Oog. What time is it? [no-one replies, they are still all asleep] Hellooo? [still no reply] Bah, humbug. [there is the distant sound of the portrait-hole swinging open. This noise, though quieter than any of Harry's remarks, causes Ron to wake up]

Ron: Whassawha?

Harry: Nothing.

Ron: Oh.

Harry: What time is it?

Ron: I dunno. Don't you have a watch?

Harry: No. I had one once but --

Ron: -- Dudley trod on it.

Harry: How did you guess?

Ron: I'm a telepath.

Harry: Oh hush.

Ron: Hush? Hush?? What if I don't WANT to hush??? What THEN, eh?????

Harry: You have to do what I say. I'm the main character here, you're my sidekick.

Ron: Oh. So I am.

Harry: Quite. [to author]And you had five question marks back there.

Damn. So I did. *thwaps self with a herring*

Harry: Anyway, we have to get to the library to try and find a way to change Hermione back.

Ron: We could... but for one thing we don't know which Furby is Hermione and for another if we did it wouldn't be hard to change her back at all, we did it in transfiguration last week.

Harry: Oh yes. So we did.

Ron: So why did you suggest going to the library?

Harry: I dunno. Whenever we have a crisis like this Hermione always goes to the library.

Ron: Regardless of how useful said action would be.

Harry: And it's always extremely useful because if it wasn't we'd probably all be dead.

Ron: Yes. Thank god for the library.

Harry: Indeed.

There is a pause.

Ron: Wait!! We CAN go to the library!!

Harry: Yes, you SHALL go to the ball!

Ron: ... uh ... whatever.

Harry: Sorry. What were you saying?

Ron: Uh... if we go to the library, we could try and find out what's up with all the teachers advertising hair-care products! It must be some kind of curse or another!

Harry: Yes, I'm sure that however irrelevant it seems right now it will be at some later point vital to the plot of this ill-laid-out tale!

How very right you are, Harry.
They very hastily get dressed and dash out of the dorm to go to the library. The author apologises for giving no excuse as to why they haven't got breakfast or some lessons to go to, but still refuses to give any excuse. Instead, she has them stop half-way to the library.

Harry: Wait! We haven't had breakfast!

Ron: Oh no!

Both rush off to have breakfast. The author cannot be bothered to describe breakfast in detail, as very little of importance happens. You may ask why I had them have that conversation about the watch, which was of no importance whatsoever and somewhat dull - and fairly so. To which I reply: It's my fic, I can do what I like!!
Anyway, it is now after breakfast.

Harry: Now let us press on! To the library!

Ron: Right!

Harry: Coconuts, please.

Ron: Coconuts?

Harry: Coconuts.

Ron: ... uh ...

Harry: [sighs despairingly] COCONUTS!! [he produces two empty coconut halves and hands them to Ron, who bangs them together experimentally] Right! Now you keep doing that!

Ron: Uh... If you say so...

Ron bangs the coconuts together as Harry walks along in front of him in a horse-riding type position, a la Monty Python and the Holy Grail. As they proceed to the library many students give them confused looks. Ron eventually gives up shrugging apologetically every .02 seconds to people he doesn't know.

Ron: At least it's better than being dragged.

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And here was a largely pointless (and aptly named) chapter if ever I saw one!! Well, the next one will be along fairly soon! I'm supposed to be revising! But instead I'm writing this, purely for your entertainment! Don't you feel special?