A Tale of Little Plot

In the Gryffindor boy's dormitory, some time very late at night. Ron is emitting very loud and obviously fake snores. At length Harry gets up out of bed and walks over to Ron, who he attempts to 'wake up', despite Ron's very bad pretend snoring. Ron gets up and grins.

Ron: Aha, you thought I was asleep!

Harry: [with a look of genuine surprise]You weren't?

Ron: Nope! I was pretending!

Harry: Oh.

Ron: Right, let's go! [he jumps out of bed. Unlike Harry he is not wearing pyjamas but is wearing normal clothes. Including shoes]

Harry: You were sleeping in shoes?

Ron: No, I wasn't asleep! I was only pretending to be asleep!

Harry: But you were still lying in bed whilst wearing mucky old trainers...?

Ron: Well... they're not THAT mucky.

Harry: [sighs despairingly] Ok, ok. Come on.

Ron: Ok.

Ron moves towards the door. Harry glares at him.

Harry: Where do you think you're going?

Ron: What? You just said we were going to go!

Harry: Yes, I did.

Harry walks over to Ron and grabs him by the wrists with one hand. Ron sighs and shakes his head as Harry drags him out of the dormitory, down the stairs, across the common room and out of the portrait hole. The Fat Lady looks slightly confused. Ron looks at her and shrugs as Harry drags him off down the corridor.

Ron: Do you really have to drag me?

Harry: Yes.

Ron: Why?

Harry does not respond, apparently not having heard his trusty sidekick's query. He takes both Ron's wrists in one hand and with the other he pulls his invisibility cloak over himself and partly over Ron, creating an unpleasant sight where Ron is visible from the stomach downwards. Ron rolls his eyes and does not make further comments. At length they arrive at Snape's office. Harry lets go of Ron and tries the door. Unsurprisingly, it is locked.

Harry: Damn. Why didn't we bring a key?

Ron: [very glad to be free of Harry's vice-like grip] Because we don't have a key.

Harry: [ignoring Ron] Maybe... there must be some spell we can do to unlock it...

Ron: Of course there bloody is!

Harry: Oh yeah. Of course.

There is a pause.

Ron: You don't know what it is either, huh?

Harry: Oh, shut up.

Ron: Well excuse me for breathing!

Harry: ... uh... wait, it's all coming back to me!

Harry points his wand at the lock and mutters something that the author can't recall, because she is on holiday in Wales and doesn't have any Harry Potter books to hand (of course, right NOW I am aware that it's alohamora but I can't be bothered because I'd have to rephrase this section. And I can't be bothered). He then opens it.

Ron: Hurrah!

Harry and Ron enter the office, closing the door behind them. It is too dark to see anything. Out of habit, Harry fumbles on the wall for a light switch - and to his great surprise he finds one. And flicks it. Electric light floods the room. Harry is about to wonder why and how Snape has electric light in Hogwarts, but his and Ron's thoughts are drowned out by a multitude of computerised voices.

Computerised Voices: Aaay! Cock-a-doodle doo!!

Ron: Oh my god!

Harry: Hundreds of Furbies!!

This is an understatement, but there are indeed dozens of Furbiesª lining the shelves of Snape's office, all gabbling annoyingly to one another in Furbishª.

Harry: [raising his voice to be heard above the chattering] What can we do?

Ron: [also raising his voice] I don't know! But I think ... I think I can hear footsteps!

Harry: Quick! Hide!

He pulls Ron into a corner and pulls the cloak over both of them as the footsteps grow closer and more audible. At length Snape walks into the room.

Snape: [shaking his head] I must have left the door unlocked... But I'm sure I closed it properly... and the light's on...

Snape casts a glance around the room. Harry and Ron shiver, but they're invisible so you can't tell. But still. I thought I should let you know that. For some reason unbeknownst to any (but probably due to the author's incompetence and inability to think of what she could have happen if Snape found Harry and Ron), Snape does not mutter 'Potter' or anything similar, but instead shrugs and pats a few Furbies on the head, mutters something inaudibe, turns the light off and walks out of the office, locking the door behind him. Harry removes his cloak but it's so dark it's hard to tell anyway.

Harry: Ok, so we're in here now... and Snape's gone. But how're we supposed to tell which Furby is Hermione??

Ron: More to the point, how're we supposed to get OUT?

Harry: The same way we got in.

Ron: Well, yeah. I just said that for dramatic effect.

Harry: Ah.

Ron: Well, there's only one person who knows for sure which Furby is Hermione. Snape. And he's gone and there's no way he's going to help us.

Harry: Presumably Hermione knows which Furby she is too.

Ron: Yeah, but she's a Furby at the moment. Not a person.

Harry: I suppose so. Damn. This has all the makings of a badly thought out plan.

Ron: At least we managed not to forget the cloak.

Harry: I suppose there's that.

Ron: And we managed to avoid Filch on the way here... Harry: Ok, ok. So maybe it wasn't quite that badly thought out. But it was still a bad plan!

Ron: ... and we -

Harry: Shut up.

Ron: Sorry.

There is a pause. They sit there in silence, not knowing what to do.

Ron: Hang on! I have an idea!

Harry: Really? What?

Ron: You bought the Marauder's Map, right?

Harry: ... uh ... no.

Ron: Oh. Bugger.

They fall into silence once more. Neither of them speaks. Which is kind of obvious because they've fallen into silence. And silence requires no speaking. Gah, I'm rambling now aren't I?

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And here we leave our heroes, locked in Snape's office with a multitude of sleeping Furbies. Will they ever get out? (Well of course they will, they figured that out already). Will they manage to find out which Furby is Hermione? You'll have to wait until next ... uh ... not week, because that would imply I had better things to do than sit about writing this tosh and so could only write a bit every now and then ... chapter! Next chapter! I can add it whenever I want! There's nothing you can do to stop me!! Muahahahaha! I'll get you next time Batman! And your little dog too, if it wasn't for those meddling kids!!