Harry Potter and the Year of Something

Chapter 2: To the Burrow!

Harry ran out into the living room, and his mouth dropped in surprise. Although Sirius was dressed normally, Dumbledore was wearing a pink jester's hat.

"Um... Dumbledore, why are you wearing that?"

"What? Oh, this....", he said, slightly red as he took off the hat and severed it.

"Never mind the hat. We are here to take you to the Weasleys, as you already know. Come."

"I just have one question. Why did you think I'd be better off here?" Harry asked.

"Well, for one, you be near Figg, a witch, if you don't know. There was another reason, though. Dudley would protect you."

"Dudley, sir?" repeated Harry, knowing that the only thing Dudley ever protected was a doughnut.

"Yes, Dudley. It was hoped, that Dudley's ass would be so large that it would take Voldemort several years to reach the other side, by which time Ministry wizards would have gotten him, or Dudley have stepped on him. But they seem to be avoiding you, terrified. So we must take you to the Burrow."

This made sense to Harry. It probably would have taken Voldemort years to get around Dudley, and since his foot was big enough to smash Big Ben, anyone, even Voldemort, who found themselves under Dudley's foot, would die.

"Well, we must be off, Harry. Take some Floo Powder." Sirius broke in.

Harry took some powder, threw in the fireplace closed his eyes, shouted "The Burrow" and was off, puking in various grates as he went along the Floo... thing.

* * *

"Hello, Harry," said Mrs.Weasley, who was serving some crappy-looking crap to Charlie, "Ron and Hermione are upstairs in the New Room."

Harry went upstairs about six staircases and suddenly heard "Accio dude who just came up!" and was brought through the open door.

Harry's eyes fell on a big room painted orange with Chudley Cannons posters all over it. How surprising.

"Welcome to my new room, Harry." Ron said with a grin. "And here's a birthday present, early, mind you."

Harry opened the box and there was a magazine inside marked 'Quidditch Weekly'.

"I got you out a subscription." said Ron.

"Thanks, Ron!" Harry replied, flipping through pages of tactics, pictures, and interviews.

Hermione then handed Harry her present. Ripping off the paper, Harry saw a custom built set of Chess pieces. Taking a closer look, he saw that one side was Gryffindor and the other side Slytherin.

"Thanks, Hermione, now I can hit Malfoy or Snape whenever I want! Which reminds me, are either of you prefects?"

"Both," said Ron, "I can't wait to scare little kids with Radioactive English Muffins, that Muggle band that you will find out Tiberius likes way too much!"

"So that's what REM means! ... Who's Tiberius?"

And for the rest of the summer, Harry, Ron, and Hermione sat there with their eyes crossed and their mouths open, waiting for the 5th book to come out.

* * *

Their books, belongings, and Percy were packed, and they were at Platform 9 3/4, boarding the Hogwarts Express. On the train, they played Exploding Snap, Exploding Crap, and See-how-far-you-can-stick-your-wand-up-your-ass. Before they knew it, the ride was over. Taking their seats in the Great Hall, they saw Dumbledore get up, wearing the pink hat again.

"Before the Sorting, we shall introduce our new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. Please give a warm Hogwarts welcome and a big Hogwarts hug to...."

Who will it be? Review. Or you'll never find out! Bwahahahaha!
Hint-he's been mentioned in the story already!