The Book Of Jude

Chapter Eight: All That You Can´t Leave Behind

`You´re packing a suitcase for a place none of us has been

A place that has to be believed to be seen

You could have flown away

A singing bird in an open cage

Who will only fly, only fly for freedom´

U2, Walk On

She set down the light load she was carrying and looked up at the steel and glass ceiling of King´s Cross Station in the heart of London. The morning commuters bustled around her on their way to who knows where. The fall term was beginning at Cambridge and she wished that she could have been there instead. It would have been her final year. But, instead of taking her seat in one of the dusty, solemn halls of the university, she was preparing to board a magical train to a fantastical school for young wizards. She could have refused to go--Professor Snape was fairly persuasive, but she didn´t doubt that she could have said no if she truly had wanted to. Looking around her, she wondered if she should have refused--if she should have simply ran like she´d planned to do. She was confident that she could have left everyone behind--she could have left everything, if she´d only had the strength and courage to keep on running. But maybe, she thought--that was exactly it--she was tired of running.

She sighed and picked up her bags again and headed for Platform Nine and Three-quarters. Passing through the barriers, she noted that she was sufficiently early to miss the hoards of students and parents that usually thronged here on September the First. Boarding the gleaming red locomotive, she realized that she was in stark contrast to those around her. The porters and other personnel looked like uniformed witches and wizards, while she was the picture of a Muggle. She shrugged her shoulders. All the children would be arriving dressed in the same fashion she was dressed in--the large numbers in which they would gather there required that they all look like Muggles, which was not that much different from how they would normally have dressed. Later, they would have to change into the uniform robes all students were required to wear.

She shoved open the door of a compartment toward the front that she hoped would be the least trafficked area of the train. Throwing her bags into one corner of the room, she took a seat by the window where she could already see people arriving as if from nowhere through the brick barrier. The crowds increased and grew noisier on the platform as children greeted classmates they hadn´t seen for months and parents chatted about the summer holidays and how they were relieved for classes to begin. More students arrived by the minute and the train became crowded. Students had popped their heads in to see if her compartment was occupied already, and upon beholding an adult present, they quickly left in search of another seat. No one wanted to ruin their last hours of freedom before school began by spending them under the watchful eye of a grownup. She breathed a heavy sigh and returned her gaze to the platform. When had she become the boring adult?

Watching the brick barrier, she noticed a succession of redheads enter the magical platform. She narrowed her eyes at them. Could they possibly be related to Bill and Charlie? Did they even have other brothers and sisters? She thought about this for a few seconds more when another boy came through the barrier followed by the youngest redheaded boy. With shaggy black hair and round glasses, she knew this must be the son of the man she´d murdered--he looked exactly like him, only shorter and more youthful. This was the child that had turned her against everything she´d been taught--turned her against her Master, irrevocably. She felt guilty, almost sick, when she saw him. She´d orphaned this little boy when she was just ten years old. And now it was her duty to make sure that her former Master--she knew He was still out there waiting to finish His job--did not finish off the last little member of the Potter family. She saw him mutter a few quick words to the woman--obviously the mother of all the redheaded children--and then board the train alone. So, he did not know the family and appeared to have no friends. But hadn´t Dumbledore left him with relatives? Where were they? She continued to stare confusedly at the little boy who appeared to be as timid and self-conscious as she had been the first time she´d come to Hogwarts. As he stepped onto the train, she lost sight of him. Other students soon filed onto the train as parents waved goodbye. She was sure that Harry´s parents would have been there to wave to their son proudly as he boarded the train for one of the most prestigious wizard schools in Europe, if they could have been there. And she was partly responsible for that. An aching knot had formed in her chest and she could hardly breath. She willed herself to get over this--there was no way that she could change what had happened--what she´d done--no matter how much she wanted to.

After a few more moments and a warning call from the conductor, the train began to move. She didn´t know why Dumbledore felt it necessary to have her present on the train--Voldemort wouldn´t attack the Hogwarts Express--it would be too easy. And He definitely wouldn´t make a move on the Potter boy until He´d secured immortality once more--He wasn´t a complete fool, after all. As far as Jude knew, the Stone was still safe in a vault buried in the caverns under Gringott´s. Still, she had her orders, and even though she´d rather not spend an entire day in such close quarters with crowds of rowdy students, she did what she was told. Although she had her reservations about the whole situation in which she found herself now, she was going to remain silent and let things take their course--only intervening to avert major disasters. She knew very well that Dumbledore was being pressured into this by the Ministry, which was increasingly frustrated in their attempts to capture Voldemort and needed a quick fix to bolster public support.

***

"Ah, Ms. Elliot. It´s good to see you again. This way." Professor McGonagall ushered Jude down a corridor from the large entryway of the castle. "Dumbledore wishes to see you before the feast." The severe woman smiled as she opened the door to the familiar office of her former Headmaster. "I wish I could stay and chat, too, but the First Years are waiting." At that, she bustled off down the hall toward the sound of the students entering the hall. Jude turned and went into the room. An old man with snowy white hair and long beard was seated at a desk, bent over a parchment he was examining. Before Jude had time to interrupt the old man´s thoughts, she was startled by a weight on her shoulder. She looked up and saw a large, scarlet bird perched on her shoulder--Fawkes, the Headmaster´s Phoenix.

"Hey, Fawkes." Jude stroked the bright plumage of the bird as it cooed beautiful music in her ear. "It´s been a while hasn´t it?"

"It has." The old man had risen from his chair when she had spoken. He was now standing in front of her. "It´s very nice to see you again, my dear. I´ve missed you." She allowed Dumbledore to embrace her as he had when she was a child. Even though the Headmaster was a rather short old man, Jude still remained a few inches shorter than himself. He, then, ushered her to a chair and resumed his seat behind the desk. "I would like to thank you for accepting the position on such a short and unexpected notice." He smiled wryly at her. She smiled back. "I am sorry if I have imposed upon you--which I´m sure I have--but, I am sure you understand that you being here was absolutely necessary to avoid the inevitable problems that would undoubtedly arise from Ministry involvement here." She couldn´t hide a small snigger at that--the Ministry, as far as she was concerned was a walking blunder.

"Why didn´t you just tell them no, Headmaster? I´m sure Fudge would not have gone against your wishes." Her brow wrinkled in confusion.

"Voldemort is after the Stone and once he has it, he will be after Harry," Dumbledore explained. "I want both under my supervision--where I can intervene if necessary. I cannot leave the school to protect the Stone, so it had to come to me. If the Ministry wants to try their hand at trapping Voldemort, they may try, but I doubt they will succeed. I merely want to be sure that he cannot get to the Stone or to Harry." At a look from Jude, Dumbledore knew exactly what was on her mind and headed her off at the pass. "Yes, I can assure Harry´s and the other student´s safety--with your help." He smiled. She knew why she was here--she owed the kid at least that much.

There was a knock on the door. Dumbledore rose and greeted five people, four of which Jude was already familiar with. Hagrid and Professors Flitwick and Sprout greeted the Headmaster as Jude rose from her chair. "Well bless me, if it isn´t Miss Elliot. How have you been, my dear." Tiny Professor Flitwick shook his former student´s hand with alacrity.

Jude smiled. "Fine, Professor. It´s so good to see you again." As she spoke to her old Charms Professor, she felt a very large hand clap her on the back. She turned to see the giant Gamekeeper, Hagrid, beaming at her. "Hello, Hagrid." The large man enveloped her in a crushing embrace.

"Didn´t expect to see you again." He sniffled as if he were going to cry any minute.

"Have you still got Fang?" She quickly tried to change the subject and he instantly cheered up.

"Yeah, but he´s a bit bigger since you saw him last." If Hagrid enjoyed talking about anything, it was his animals--Jude knew this well.

"I´ll have to come by and see him." She smiled.

"He´d like that. You always were one of his favorites." He moved to stand by Flitwick, creating a comical contrast in size. Dumbledore cleared his throat to gain the attention of the room.

"We are a little short on time, so I´ll get right to the point. I asked you all here to introduce the last member in our little plan. Most of you already know Miss Elliot, who will be here throughout the term to keep an eye on Harry Potter," he nodded in the direction of Professors Flitwick and Sprout and Hagrid. He then turned to Professor Snape, who was standing next to the only person Jude did not recognize out of the group. "However, I do not believe you have met Professor Quirrell." Dumbledore smiled and Jude walked over to shake the new professor´s hand.

"I´m pleased to meet you, Miss Elliot."

She smiled in what she hoped was an unoffending manner. The teacher had a bit of a stutter. He was young, but seemed as superstitious and nervous as an old woman--and he smelled strongly of garlic. She assumed it was all a symptom of his work with dark and frightening creatures, even though the thought of this jittery little chap fighting vampires and zombies was a bit hard to believe. "I´m the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher here."

"Professor Quirrell is very experienced in the Dark Arts. He has spent several years in Romania and Germany studying Vampires and is a very capable professor." Jude noticed the professor act a little sheepish at the praise his boss was lavishing on him. "He was on the search team the Ministry deployed to seek out the hiding place of Voldemort."

"We had little success, however," the shy professor apologized.

"Professor Quirrell, along with Professors Snape, Sprout, Flitwick, McGonagall--who must be absent from this meeting due to her responsibilities as Deputy Headmistress--and Hagrid have all had a part in setting up the protection around the Stone."

"The Stone is here? Already?" Jude sounded shocked. She didn´t expect it to be under the school´s protection so soon and had hoped to have at least a few days to re-familiarize herself with the complex maze that was Hogwarts--even though its secrets were already more known to her than to most of the teachers here. She was prepared and she knew it--but the Stone´s presence here seemed to throw a new urgency on the matter.

"Yes, the Stone is here. The vault at Gringott´s was insufficient. We have devised a series of spells and enchantments to ensure its security." Jude held up a hand to stop the Headmaster.

"I think it would be best if I knew as little about the Stone as possible." Her voice was firm and would brook no opposition. She didn´t want to know what was protecting the Stone--it would give anyone the opportunity to use her to get to it and would cast suspicion on her should anything of the sort happen. Whatever Dumbledore and his collection of trustworthy and skilled staff had put in place, she was sure it would be sufficient. "All I need to know is where you´ve hidden it. I will have to know where I´m supposed to keep Harry away from." She smiled at her Headmaster.

"Very well, Miss Elliot." Dumbledore would respect her wishes--he knew her reasons for refusing to be given such information. "It is located on the Third Floor in a locked corridor--I will make an announcement to all students to steer clear of this area this year. Well, we´d best be heading down to the Great Hall. We don´t want to miss the Sorting Ceremony." They rose and left the office.

***

Jude took a seat next to Hagrid at the far end of the table reserved for the teachers. She looked up at the ceiling that showed the inky expanse of the night sky illuminated by thousands of glittering stars and numerous glowing candles suspended in mid air. She had always loved the Great Hall, but was surprised at how different things looked from where the staff sat. She had become so accustomed to seeing things from a student´s perspective. Then the door opened and Professor McGonagall marched dozens of nervous first years to the front of the beautifully magical hall.

"When I call your name, you will put on the hat and sit on the stool to be sorted." McGonagall faced the group of first years and explained how they would be sorted into their Houses. Jude watched from her perch at the Head Table. She had always wondered what the hat said to the students when it was placed on their heads. She´d never had the opportunity to see a Sorting Ceremony until her second year--and she´d never participated in one. The first student called was Hannah Abbot, a shy and quiet looking girl who, not to anyone´s surprise, was placed in Hufflepuff. She was followed by other first years, each joining one of the four House tables in their turn. When a blond boy was called by the name of Malfoy to take a seat on the stool and be sorted, Jude turned to Hagrid, who was sitting next to her. "Lucius Malfoy´s son?"

He nodded. "Looks jus´ like him, don´t he?" Jude nodded in her turn. Lucius had been one of Voldemort´s most vehement supporters and servants--yet he was loyal to himself alone and had never hesitated to hide his hatred of Jude. The child swaggered with all the confidence and arrogance that came with his name. He was instantly sorted into Slytherin, and by the look on Harry´s face, it was evident that they had already met. She´d have to keep an eye on young Mr. Malfoy.

After a few more students became Ravenclaws, Gryffindors, Hufflepuffs and Slytherins, Jude heard Harry´s name called. The dark haired boy timidly took the stool. Jude was surprised when a small wave of whispers rose at the sound of his name. So he was famous. This just kept getting better and better. No wonder Malfoy disliked the kid--but if he was anything like his father, he really didn´t even need a reason.

She narrowed her eyes and watched as the hat was placed on his head. It took quite a long time to announce its decision, which confused Jude. She thought for sure that he would instantly become a Ravenclaw--he looked like a smart kid. But if Jude had learned anything in her twenty years of existence, it was never to draw conclusions from someone´s appearance--after all, she was a living example, wasn´t she? She wondered what the hat could possibly have said to Harry? It hadn´t taken nearly this long with the other students. And it had placed the boy in Gryffindor--the House reserved for those who valued bravery--or as Jude saw it, those who mindlessly wandered into danger without giving a single thought to what they were doing. Jude didn´t mind taking risks--but she´d always believed that there should be a balance between the costs and benefits of being courageous. After all there was just a fine line separating the brave from the stupid.

Just then, Hagrid leaned over and whispered to Jude. "Gryffindor. Just like James."

"Who is James?" she replied, confused.

"He was Harry´s father." He was clapping for the boy as he joined his House amongst the cheers of almost the entire room. Hagrid was obviously happy for the boy and had not regarded what he´d said to her with much importance. But at those words, Jude found it hard to breath. How long had it been since she´d murdered this boy´s father, and only now had she ever heard his actual name. She realized that this is how Harry would find out about his parents and who they were--through random conversation and chance happenings--never by actually having known them. At that moment, Jude felt the immense weight of all of her past actions acutely. She hardly noticed the rest of the first years finish the ceremony and take their seats. Only the voice of the Headmaster succeeded in recalling her from her tormenting thoughts.

"Welcome," the Headmaster greeted his students with his arms opened wide, looking very pleased to see them all once more. Jude knew that this old man´s passion was his students and their education as well as their safety--which reassured her immensely. He would not let anything happen to any of them if he could help it. "Welcome to a new year at Hogwarts. Only a few announcements before we begin. The Forbidden Forest is, as always off limits to every student." He gave a significant glare at two identical redheaded boys seated at the Gryffindor table who looked as if their only mission in life was to see how many detentions one could possibly earn in a school year. They, too, looked exactly like Bill and Charlie--more like Bill than Charlie, Jude mused. They were everywhere, these redheaded kids that looked as if they all belonged to a single, enormous, family.

"And the Third Floor corridor is strictly off limits to those who do not wish to die a most horrible death." The Headmaster did have a way with words Jude had to admit. If he was aiming at scaring the shit out of a bunch of kids, then he was definitely headed in the right direction. "And lastly, I would like to introduce Miss Jude Elliot, my new assistant." He beckoned Jude to stand and be acknowledged. She complied only hesitantly and returned to her seat instantly. As she sat, she noticed Harry casting a suspicious glance upon her. Had anyone told him yet of the danger he was in and just exactly who she was, as well as why she was there? She hoped not--this boy would have enough to deal with as it was. "Before we begin our banquet, I would like to say a few words. And here they are: Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!" Sometimes she worried that the old man had finally cracked--genius was, after all, merely borderline insanity. "Thank you." The Headmaster returned to his seat amid enthusiastic applause. The feast had begun.

***

After the students had been dismissed to their Common Rooms, Jude was lead to her room by a stout little house elf--one of the numerous servants employed by the school. Her room was a tidy and cozy place with a fire warmly crackling in the grate. Her bags had already been brought there for her and sat at the foot of a comfortable and inviting bed. She wished that she could simply crawl under the warm blankets and hide from her troubling thoughts until the morning, but she knew that was asking for the impossible. She would not be able to sleep a wink in this castle, knowing that Voldemort or one of His many thugs were waiting for the perfect opportunity to strike. All they would need was a few moments of carelessness on her part and a little luck. But she didn´t plan on being careless--not when the few people she actually gave a damn about were counting on her. She understood that it might be a very long time indeed, before she would allow herself to rest. She pulled on a sweater over her blouse and headed for the door. It would be nice to wander these halls again--but this time she wouldn´t have to keep an eye out for Filch or Mrs. Norris. She allowed herself a satisfied smile and headed for the cold, dark and winding corridors and passages.

Author´s Note: The timeline of events in this chapter was a little wonky, I´ll admit. I used the movie version of Sorcerer´s Stone and the timing of the Stone´s being moved to the castle for reference here instead of the book. It just seemed to fit better for my storyline. I hope it has not lead to any confusion--if so, please feel free to email me or leave questions in your reviews. Also, I plan to stick as faithfully as possible to canon, but little aberrations were necessary here and there. I will note them when they occur. Thanks for reading.

Thanks: AiteanE: as always, you´re too kind--not to mention one of the most observant readers I´ve had in a while. Thanks for your review.