The Book Of Jude

Chapter Seven: The Abbey

`Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away

Now it looks as though they´re here to stay

Oh, I believe in Yesterday´

The Beatles, Yesterday

Jude dropped the box at her feet and looked up at the soaring ceiling above her. She was alone in the entry of the Abbey that had served as the manor for the professor´s family for centuries. The dark, cold and familiar halls of this house were oddly comforting. She missed Rhys already, yet she was glad that she´d put an end to their relationship--it would have been so much harder to leave had she not hurt him so bad. As things stood now, she had nothing left in Cambridge to keep her there. But maybe when this was all over, she would be able to go back.

"No, that´s impossible," she told herself. "You were a fool to think that you could leave everything behind. But it caught up to you, didn´t it? And now that life is over and this is all that you have left."

She sighed and lifted the box from the cold, stone floor and made her way to the staircase. Down one of the many drafty corridors, she pushed open a heavy, oak door and smiled at the sight that greeted her. It was her room--just as she´d left it. The only additions to the room were her two suitcases set neatly at the foot of her bed. She let the box fall to her feet and she made her way over to a large, wooden wardrobe. She flung the doors wide and looked inside. Reaching out a hand, she touched dark fabric. It was her old school uniform--the dark robes, skirt and vest and the green and silver tie that signified her House. She smiled a half-hearted smile, admitting that she´d never expected to see such articles again. The memories she associated with her old belongings from her school days were not always pleasant, but they were a part of her--of who she was--and seeing them here in this room where she´d spent many summers and holidays was a gentle reminder that she could never leave this life fully in the past.

Books lined the floor of the wardrobe--schoolbooks from years of study at Hogwarts. She lifted a volume and opened its pages. Moving pictures of goblins and elves locked in a medieval battle told her that this was one of the numerous texts from History of Magic--one of her favorite classes, yet one that was among the most despised by her classmates. She read a few passages from the page, allowing herself to be lost for a moment in another world. This is why she´d always loved History lessons, because for the hour she spent in that class, she could become entranced in stories that let her forget. As she flipped the page, she heard the familiar muffled whispers that she remembered so well. Looking up from the book, her eyes settled on a small, dark shape in the open doorway. It was Fritzy, one of the three house elves employed here. She smiled and greeted the small creature that had been one of her only friends for years.

"Hello, Fritzy." She crossed the room and stood in front of the timid being who was wearing a pristine pillowcase--the accustomed uniform of the resident elves.

"Oh, Fritzy is so pleased to be seeing Miss. I thought I was never going to be seeing her again," the elf stammered in a high, squeaky voice. Jude did her best to comfort her. Regaining her composure, the elf continued. "I hope Miss finds everything satisfactory. Nothing has changed since Miss was last here on orders from Master. I have already brought Miss´s bags in from the hall." The tiny elf beamed at Jude, expecting praise for her good deeds.

"Yes, everything is perfect, as usual, Fritzy."

"Master has sent Fritzy to fetch Miss. He wishes to speak to Miss in his study." The tiny elf motioned for Jude to follow her through the door and down yet another corridor. She sighed and followed, not really wanting to talk to the professor because she knew that she would inevitably spill everything about the last few years--the last subject that she wanted to discuss right at this moment. He had always been able to get her to tell him anything, a skill she particularly resented.

"Oh, well," she thought, resignedly. "I´ll just have to work very hard at being elusive."

"We are so happy to have Miss back. It is lonely without Miss around." Fritzy smiled broadly. Anyone not accustomed to the tiny elf would have thought that she looked sinister when she smiled. But to Jude, who was quite familiar with the short creature with long, pointy ears and a nose to match, she simply looked grateful for the return of her friend. "Hobbs and Milly are very excited to be seeing Miss, too," Fritzy explained. "They are fetching tea for Miss and Master, and should be here in a moment." As she spoke, the elf dutifully opened a heavy door and let the golden light from the fireplace into the dark hall. Even though it was summer and fairly warm outside, inside the Abbey was constantly cold and dark. Therefore, the fireplaces in occupied rooms were lit year round, as much for the warmth as for the light they provided.

Jude stepped into the room as Fritzy dutifully announced that she´d accomplished her mission. The two other house elves had also completed their duty and stood beaming by the fire at the sight of their former mistress and friend. Jude greeted the two briefly before all three returned to their work. The professor snapped shut the book that had occupied his attention since he´d returned from Cambridge. He rose from his chair behind the dark, wooden desk and removed the round, scholarly glasses he was wearing. Moving over to the sofa and chairs by the fire, where the tea had been set for them both, he and Jude took their seats.

Catching up on three years seemed a little awkward to Jude, at first. Even though, in an odd sort of symmetry, this cold and closed man was the person Jude--herself distant and detached--was closest to, it was hard to pick up where they´d left off. She asked how things had been for him that year at school, how his classes had gone, et cetera. They both skirted the subject that was the foremost on both of their minds--the situation that September the First would bring. Instead, the silence was passed in enjoying the warm tea. Finally, the silence was broken by something more substantial than small talk. It was what Jude had been dreading.

"What happened back there, Jude?" He slowly leveled a piercing gaze on her, which she did her best to avoid. She didn´t exactly want to discuss her problems concerning Rhys with her old professor.

"Nothing significant." She allowed herself a glance to discern how well her lie had worked. He wasn´t buying it, she noticed.

"It must have been. You looked like you were about to run--again," he continued blandly. "Was it the Ministry?" he questioned her with an odd expression. He knew that a little intimidation from the Ministry wouldn´t push her as far as leaving a place that she appeared to love. The old woman appeared as though she´d had only minimal warning that Jude was leaving her, and she seemed distraught at the idea of losing her. And the way Jude looked when she turned her back on the little shop where she´d lived--he could tell that she liked it there and was only leaving because it had become absolutely necessary.

"No," she replied dispassionately. "It wasn´t that." She appeared somewhat resentful at the thought. She took a deep breath. There was really no point in discussing this, she thought. It wouldn´t change the fact that she´d broken the heart of the only person she´d ever truly loved.

"So, then it was because of that fellow you lived with." He smiled a devious smile.

She looked incredulous. How the hell did he know? She closed her eyes and took another deep breath. Her eyelids were starting to feel heavy and she suddenly realized how tired she was. It had been one rough day, she reminded herself.

"I didn´t `live with´ him." She feigned mild consternation at the implication. "We were flat mates and friends, that´s all." She set her cup back on the table and stared at the flames. "Besides, how do you know all of this?"

"That old woman told me everything when I said I was looking for you. She was quite upset."

"Well, that´s not my fault. I never asked her to give a damn."

This was insane, she rationalized with herself--now she was blaming Adda for everything that had happened. Why couldn´t she just accept the fact that she´d messed up and allowed two people to become so close to her that when it became necessary to push them away, they made her feel guilty about it. She hung her head wearily. "I let them get a little attached--it was a stupid mistake. But I really thought it could work." She looked up. He was staring at her in a thoughtful manner.

"Don´t say it," she said in a warning tone.

"What?" He feigned innocence. He knew very well that she´d fallen in love with some chap and had tricked herself into believing that she could run from who she was forever. And when she´d found out that it was impossible to make that lie come true, she´d chosen the safe way out. She´d pushed everyone away--tried to hide behind stony indifference. But even those as tough as Jude had their breaking point. He tried hard to fight the urge to say `I told you so.´

"I won´t say it. It´s just...well, I tried to warn you, Jude. I didn´t want to see this happen to you." His voice testified to his earnestness, and Jude knew he was only concerned for her. She appreciated it, but this wasn´t helping her one bit. What she really needed was to forget about everything long enough to fall asleep. She yawned, then notice a pleased smile cross his face.

"What did you put in it?" she questioned him, casting a suspicious glare on the cup of tea that she´d just drained. Now she understood why she was having trouble staying awake when lack of sleep had never bothered her in the slightest before.

"Jude, you look terrible."

She knew she probably looked worse than that. On good days, she´d always looked worn and tired. Today was so far from being a good day, and she thought she must look at least half as bad as she felt.

"You can´t blame me for trying to help just a little, can you?" He tried to placate her indignation with a well-meaning smile. "I´m surprised you lasted this long, I made the potion a little on the strong side--I know you´ve grown immune to most of the weaker ones. You´d best get off to bed, now before you pass out in one of the corridors." He rose from the chair by the fire and walked over to where she was still sitting. Her shoulders were slumped and her head drooped a little. She looked absolutely wretched. He retrieved his book and retreated to his desk, as she stood wearily to leave. He was glad that she was here, even if she was less than thrilled to be so.

She smiled a little--no matter how bad things got, she knew this would always be a sanctuary for her. She got to her feet and made her way to the door, stumbling only a little. He watched her cross the room, a little shaky at first, and was satisfied that she would find her way back to her room on her own. He resumed his seat behind his desk and continued his work.

***

"No!" The child shielded her eyes, not wanting to see her Master finish off the tiniest member of the small family. The green flash was blinding. There was a noise like an explosion and she felt the house rock beneath her feet. She cringed at the baby´s cries mingled with another´s cry. Was it her Master? She peeked out from under one arm she had flung around her face. What she saw through the small space she´d allowed her eyes to wander terrified her. Lord Voldemort no longer loomed menacingly over the tiny child, but lay at the foot of the bed. She unwrapped her small arms from her face and chanced a full look at the scene. He was, in fact, lying on the floor as the child on the bed wailed. She got to her feet, a little shaky, but managed to walk over to the baby. A cut was bleeding freely on its forehead, but other than that, it seemed unharmed. Her Master, however, was not moving. She bent down and touched the prone form of the one person she believed was beyond death´s reach. He did not give a single sign that signified that life remained within. As she continued to stare at the body, she heard her name whispered behind her. She spun quickly to face the sound. A cloud was hovering just out of reach--a sort of transparent, misty green.

"Child, you must continue my work. Kill the child, then help me to regain my former self." It was her Master´s voice coming from the spectral cloud. So He wasn´t dead, was He? She was confused and didn´t know what to do. She couldn´t kill the poor child who´d lost both parents at their hands, and she wasn´t sure that she should help her Master if she wanted the child to live. "Child, did you hear me?" The house rattled as the cloud grew impatient.

"No! I won´t help you! You lie!" She ran to the bed where the child was lying and scooped him up in her arms. She didn´t know what the spectral form of her former Master was capable of, but she didn´t want to find out. The cloud, however, was between her and her only escape. She shifted the child, freeing her left hand. She raised it to the green mist and shouted "Expelliarmus".

Not sure if her disarming spell had worked, she ran for the door anyway. Almost instantly, she felt the floor shake unstably under her feet as she took the stairs two at a time, running as fast as her little legs would allow. The child was heavy, but she wouldn´t loosen her grasp on him. The house began to fall around her in flaming pieces. She raced for the shattered front door and as she passed through it into the cool evening air, she turned to see the house fall in smoldering ruins.

Not sure where to go, but not wanting to stick around to see if the spirit-cloud of her former Master had been destroyed, she looked for a place to hide with her little burden. A thick hawthorn bush lined the road. There she thought she would have a good view of the house and the road, and she, along with the child would be out of sight of both. She gently set the child down on the ground under the coarse and tangled brambles and climbed in next to him. The baby was eerily silent. She checked to make sure he was still breathing and, to her relief, found that he was. The cut from his head was still bleeding, but she could not do anything to help that.

She watched the wreckage of the house smolder for a few minutes more, when she heard a low rumble from the distance. Peeking around the thick foliage of the hawthorn, she saw a motorcycle alight on the road, several yards away. "A flying motorcycle?" she thought, beholding the odd sight from the safety of her hiding place. The figure on the flying motorbike abandoned it in the street and ran for what was once a charming cottage. Upon reaching the lawn, the figure fell to his knees in despair. Jude watched as the person deteriorated into uncontrolled sobs. Then, as if a thought had struck the person, he rose to his feet and began to frantically search through the still-burning ruins. This family must have been important to this him, the child concluded, and could probably help this child.

"Stay quiet, okay. I´ll be back with some help, I promise." The child grasped her small finger, but remained quiet, as if in shock. She pulled her finger away and crawled out of the thicket. The figure continued to search as she approached. It was a few moments before he noticed a small child in black robes and shortly cropped blond hair bemusedly watching his efforts.

"Did you see what happened here?" the man asked frantically and walked quickly over to her. He knelt in front of her and grabbed her by the arms. She reluctantly nodded. His eagerness was a little unsettling, and his eyes were wild with hope and panic, giving him a somewhat crazed look, which was not helped by the wild tangles of black hair that framed his face. "Where are they?" He shook the child, frantically willing her to reveal everything she knew immediately.

"They are dead," she said, almost robotically.

"Dead?" The man looked devastated. "And the child?" he questioned, but for reasons honorable or sinister, she could not discern. She wouldn´t tell him until she could figure out his intentions for coming here. She remained silent. "Where is he?" he yelled, losing his patience with the little girl. Her eyes widened in fear. Just then, a hand fell on the man´s shoulder.

"Let her go, Sirius." The man looked sufficiently startled, as did the child. She hadn´t seen anyone else approach. Yet a man that was considerably larger than any other man she´d ever seen had come up behind them both with out detection. The man with the disheveled black hair released the frightened child from his grasp.

Sirius. She´d heard that name before, but could not think of when.

"They´re dead. They´re dead," Sirius repeated over and over, staring at the ashes of the house.

"Not all of them," the child spoke, surprising both of the men.

"Who´s alive, little one?" the giant man bent down to talk to Jude. For some reason, she felt that she could trust this one implicitly, unlike the other man who was now pacing like a caged animal.

"The baby," she told him in a quiet tone, hoping that the other man would not overhear her.

"Harry´s alive?" The black haired man stopped pacing and hurried over to the others. "Where is he?" he bellowed at the child. She pressed her lips together and gave the man a hard look.

"Calm down, Sirius. Is the baby alrigh´?" The larger man asked the little girl this question and was answered almost immediately with a nod. "Can I see him?" the man asked of her after the last question was answered. She looked back up to the other, more suspicious person standing over her. He understood her concerns. Sirius must have frightened her sufficiently before he´d shown up. But he had to see the child, he had to take him to Dumbledore. She looked for assurance that they were both trustworthy. "It´s alrigh´, you can trust us." He shot Sirius a warning glance.

"Wait here," she ordered in a manner that suggested that she was accustomed to giving people demands and having them followed. She backed away slowly, keeping her eyes on the two men. When she reached the hawthorn bush, she crawled back under it and returned from beneath it with a baby in her arms. She walked slowly back to the others with the child.

"Did you bring him out of the house?" The large man was looking bemusedly at the little child in front of him, clearly astonished.

She nodded proudly.

"What´s your name?"

She looked a little startled at the question, wondering whether it was prudent or not to give away this information.

"Well," the large man began, understanding that she wasn´t about to answer to a stranger, " my name´s Hagrid. And this here´s Sirius Black. We´re friends of the people who used to live here." As he said this, he jerked a thumb at the destroyed house. She looked away, feeling more than a little guilty for her part in that destruction.

"I´m Jude." She noticed a hint of recognition cross both of their faces.

"Well, Jude, I´m afraid I´m going to have to take little Harry, here, away from you."

As he reached out his hands to receive the child, Jude instinctively pulled the baby closer to herself. She didn´t want to give him over to just anyone. Apparently, he had many powerful enemies.

"I won´t hurt him, I promise you. I have orders to take him to Dumbledore--you know who that is, don´t you?" She nodded her head. She´d heard enough about him to know that he was the only serious threat to her Master´s power. If this child would be safe with anyone, it would be Dumbledore. She let the man take the baby. Her arms dropped limply by her side as she watched the man stand with the child and turn to the other man.

"I have to take him, Sirius. I have my orders, but you can hold him if you like before I go." The man consented and took the child. He looked as if he would cry.

Hagrid bent down and took her hand in his. "Thank yeh for lookin´ after him. It must have been hard to stand up to yer master like yeh did." The child looked somewhat startled and began to back away, as if to flee. "Yes, I know who yeh are. And you´re just the person Dumbledore needs to speak with. You know what happened here--what happened to your master."

She didn´t actually know what had destroyed her Master, however, just that He was gone. She continued to stare at the man as he spoke. "Will you come with me and help me take Harry to Dumbledore?"

She nodded. She had nowhere else to go and the Ministry would be hunting her Master and herself soon, and she didn´t want to be left here with the man she´d heard mentioned before but couldn´t peg. Either way, he was suspicious, and she knew if she thought long enough about it, then her suspicions might be validated. Anyway, it was never a good thing to be recognized by her. He took the child back from the other man, and muttered an apology for having to separate him from his godson, but that it was for the child´s safety. Godson? Jude thought about that for a moment and then remembered her Master´s servant, Peter Pettigrew. He was a simpering and sniveling little weasel of a man and Jude had never liked nor trusted him. He had mentioned once that he was friends with the Potters and had framed the whole plot for hunting down that family, with a little help from a friend of his--Sirius Black, a man that was trusted in every matter of the family´s and was even the godfather to their young son. It all made sense now. No wonder she distrusted him--he´d been in on the plot, however unwittingly or voluntarily. She looked upon him with a whole new dislike as Hagrid took her small hand in his and led her away from the scene with the baby tucked securely in the crook of his other arm. Sirius watched them for a few moments, when suddenly roused from his reverie.

"Take my bike, Hagrid. I won´t be needing it for a while." He sounded mournful as he watched them go. So he was planning on sticking around and letting the Aurors come for him? He was probably feeling immensely guilty for his part in his friends´ murders and didn´t care one way or the other. Or maybe he was going to make a run for it. Jude mused on these questions for the entire trip on the flying motorbike to a small town in Surrey, where they landed. The baby had fallen asleep, but she remained awake, even though it was late. The cool night air of October would have made it impossible for anyone to sleep outside--especially for a child that rarely slept and had never been on a flying motorbike before.

When they landed in the road before a row of orderly, uniform little houses, Jude immediately spotted two people in funny clothes milling about the lawn of the house nearest to her--even though it was dark outside and someone had snuffed all of the street lamps. An old man and somewhat younger woman watched them as Hagrid dismounted the bike with the baby they had been expecting and a little girl they had not. She followed a little behind the large man, not really knowing what to expect from these people, although they looked nice--meaning, not the type that she was used to meeting on a daily basis. She hung back a bit while Hagrid handed the child to the old man in purple robes and half-moon glasses. Jude didn´t hear most of what they discussed, but was aware that the subject turned upon herself when the old woman´s eyes snapped from Hagrid and the baby to rest upon her. The old man continued to talk to Hagrid, then moved with the child to the doorstep of the tidy house, where he placed the child and a note of explanation. Hagrid began to sniffle and the old man spoke in reassuring tones to placate him.

"It´s not really goodbye, Hagrid." This man had a long, white beard and hair and spoke as if he was wiser than his many years revealed. This must be Dumbledore--but why is he abandoning the child at the house of strangers? It didn´t make sense--the child should stay with Dumbledore where he would be safe. Voldemort was not dead and still out there somewhere, Jude was sure of that. And she was also certain that he would not stop until either he or the child was fully destroyed. Jude was about to voice her opinion when the old man turned to her. "I assure you the child will be quite safe. This is his family and it is in his best interest that he stay here, for now." He smiled kindly at her and she somehow believed what he said implicitly, yet doubt remained about the child remaining here. However, his words assured her that he was only looking out for the safety and well being of this baby, and if that included leaving him here, Jude would not argue.

"You must be Jude." The old man smiled at her as he walked to where she was standing. "The child servant of Voldemort and possessor of certain special abilities?"

She bit her lip, not wanting to willingly give up any information about herself--even though this man obviously knew her. She fought the urge to run away, but her curiosity rooted her to the spot.

"What happened to your master tonight?" Dumbledore bent down so that he was eye level with the child.

She shrugged her shoulders and thought it would be best to be silent for the moment. But he waited on an answer and she felt compelled to tell him everything. "He died, I think. The curse backfired. I saw His body and it was dead, but I think He´s still out there as a spirit or ghost or something." As the words came spilling out, she noted how ridiculous she must sound. She didn´t know what had happened and had no clue how to explain it. "He´s not gone. He asked me to kill the baby and help Him back to His body. But I took the baby and ran instead." The child now looked frightened, as if only now the full weight of her decisions had hit her. Her eyes widened and began to dart back and forth, as if she were frantically searching for something that was not there. She fell silent, not willing to incriminate herself further.

"You obviously have no family and no where to go." Dumbledore rose to his feet as he spoke. "Would you like to come back to the school and learn to make a good use of your skills?" His eyes twinkled and he smiled invitingly, making his invitation all the more enticing. She knew that if she went with Dumbledore, she would be safe from her Master´s anger, and if she ran now, Voldemort or His various minions, with whom she had never been on the kindest terms, would hunt her down in no time.

"But Headmaster," the old woman spoke for the first time. "The term has already begun."

"Minerva, surely you would grant me this small concession." He looked back at the woman. She fidgeted at his words, but consented.

"It is highly unorthodox, but if you insist." She pressed her lips into a fine line. "You´ll have trouble with the Ministry over this, and possibly with the Board," she warned.

"That will be dealt with when the time comes."

"Well, I must be getting this bike back to young Sirius Black." Hagrid sniffed and made his way back to the flying motorcycle. Jude doubted if he would find Mr. Black at the shambles of his friends´ house, but she remained silent. He waved to her as the motorbike rose into the air.

"Well, Minerva. We´d best return as well." He took Jude´s hand in his as the other woman slowly transformed into a tabby cat and slunk away into the night. So, she´s an Animagus, as well. The old man roused her from her thoughts as he turned to the doorway where the baby was sleeping soundly. "Good Luck, Harry Potter." With a pop, they disappeared from the silent street.

***

She sat up in the large four-posted bed in the middle of her orderly room and rubbed her head. The dream had lasted longer this time, moving from Voldemort´s first appearance in the little house, all the way to when she´d arrived with Dumbledore at Hogwarts. It had never gone that far before. She wondered if it was healthy to have dreams about past events over and over again--or if she was slowly going crazy. Why had it lasted this long, though? Usually she woke up screaming when her former Master cast the dreadful curse on the small child. Then, suddenly, she remembered that Professor Snape had given her something to help her sleep. Whatever it was, it must have been strong--she hadn´t slept this long in years and she had a pounding headache as if she´d had a hangover without any of the fun of actually getting drunk.

She sighed and climbed out of bed, sliding into her slippers and pulling on her robe. Opening the door, she decided to fall back on her childhood hobby--exploring the dark and silent old house. She had already traversed every dark corridor and passage in the house when she hadn´t been able to sleep in years past.

The black halls were chilly at night. She made her way to one of the rooms at the back of the house. Walking over to a large window, she looked out over the great expanse of the sea. The house--an old monastery built in the thirteenth century and then abandoned somewhere in the sixteenth--overlooked the English Channel from its perch on the sheer, white cliffs that made Dover famous. Like the cliffs, this house had once been a popular tourist attraction until the Victorian period, when the family finally concocted a tale for nosy intruders that the building had been destroyed and then had made the house unplottable and undetectable to those who were not expressly looking for it. An unsuspecting passerby on the Arch Cliff Road would merely see the open plain dropping steeply off to the rocky shore below--not an old and mysterious Benedictine monastery that had been home to a family of wizards for centuries. That family had been noted in the magical community for their obsession with secrecy--and the last remaining member of that family was no exception. Jude smirked. Professor Snape guarded his privacy with the utmost care--it was a kind of hobby with him.

The sun was beginning to rise in the east, gilding the crests of every wave with a golden glow. She still missed her place at Cambridge--Rhys especially--and regretted having to leave that life. But she belonged here now, where she was needed--even if it was the last place she wanted to be.