- Rating:
- PG-13
- House:
- Riddikulus
- Characters:
- Tom Riddle
- Genres:
- Humor Parody
- Era:
- Multiple Eras
- Stats:
-
Published: 01/18/2002Updated: 03/07/2002Words: 16,262Chapters: 10Hits: 4,149
Flower Potter and the Stone of Hot Ice
Someisa
- Story Summary:
- A parody of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone that takes place during the Riddle era. Starring the infamous Flower Potter who survived Grindelwalds ye old grande de wrath filling in for Harry, the poor but humorous Haruko Weasley filling for Ron, and the incredibly attractive nagging bookworm Tom Riddle filling in for Hermione. Together, with plot devices, lucky, and insanity, they're going to protect the Stone of Hot Ice from Grindelwald!
Chapter 02
- Posted:
- 01/18/2002
- Hits:
- 318
The Screwed up Sense
It was Dumass Dorksley's birthday, and Flower Potter, who lived in the cupboard under the stairs, was to cook breakfast, do the chores, make the beds, wash the windows, and clean out the closets. This year, Dumass was going to the Zoo with her friend, Purrs, and Flower would be stuck with old Mrs. Twig, an elderly lady across the street who had serious issues.
"Vhat is zis!" yelled Helga over the phone. She hung it back up. "Bad news," she said to Vermont. "Twig has vroken her veg. Flower can't go over zare."
"Aw, damn!" yelled Vermont. "Then what the hell are we supposed to do with the runt?"
"DON'T LET HER COME!" whined Dumass. "SHE'LL STEAL ALL THE COOKIES FROM THE COOKIE JAR!"
"Wha?" asked Flower, Vermont and Helga all in perfect sync.
Two seconds later divided by Pi carried by a decimal divded by the equation for work times the power of 10, Flower Potter found herself going to the Zoo. Now why in God's name Flower Potter was at a Zoo, I don't know either. The first thing little Dumass wanted to see was what kind of refreshments they had. They found a lemonade vendor, a hotdog stand, and a man selling peanuts by 2 o' clock in the afternoon. Dumbass had 10 glasses of lemonade, 50 hotdogs, and 13 bags of salted peanuts. Flower had nothing, as usual.
Dumass had never seen the a monkey before, and demanded they went to the Monkey House. Flower walked along with them to the Monkey House, where tons of monkey's were playing amungst themselves.
Dumass looked for the cutest smallest monkey she could find, and slammed her fist on the bars. "DO SOMETHING YOU POO POO HEAD!" she wailed.
Uncle Vermont went to the cage as well and screamed at it. "YOU FRICKIN' MORON! DO SOME FRICKIN' THING!"
But the monkey did nothing. It simply sat there and ate it's food. Flower continued looking at it while Dumass went to see another.
"Must suck being in that cage all day long," said Flower. The monkey perked it's head up. "Have you ever been to the rainforest? It must be where you're from."
The monkey shook it's head. Flower looked amazed and astonished by this.
"Can you... understand me?" asked Flower. The monkey nodded.
"Of course I can," said the Monkey. Flower cocked her brows. "You must be a Munkee Mouth! A human who can talk to and understand monkey's!"
Flower backed up two steps and looked eeriely around her. The room got incredibly colder, she breathed heavily, and you could see her breath. "I hear talking monkey's" she gagged to herself.
"Well, yea," said the Monkey warping her back to reality. "Hey, think ya could get me out of here?"
"Uhm....." Flower took a long silence, before Dumass knocked her out of the way.
"LOOKIT WHAT THE MONKEY'S DOING!" cried Dumass to her mother and father.
Flower ached in her stomach, and looked up at Dumass. She got an angsty look on her face, and next thing you know, the monkey cage bars fell off, and Dumass fell right in. The monkey hopped out, and looked at Flower and flashed a peace sign.
"Sayanora suckers!" said the monkey.
"Bye," replied Flower quickly in what she guessed was Munkee Mouth. Vermont looked at her sternly. "I'm in trouble, aren't I?" she asked. He nodded his head up and down. "Aw, man."
It was Dumass Dorksley's birthday, and Flower Potter, who lived in the cupboard under the stairs, was to cook breakfast, do the chores, make the beds, wash the windows, and clean out the closets. This year, Dumass was going to the Zoo with her friend, Purrs, and Flower would be stuck with old Mrs. Twig, an elderly lady across the street who had serious issues.
"Vhat is zis!" yelled Helga over the phone. She hung it back up. "Bad news," she said to Vermont. "Twig has vroken her veg. Flower can't go over zare."
"Aw, damn!" yelled Vermont. "Then what the hell are we supposed to do with the runt?"
"DON'T LET HER COME!" whined Dumass. "SHE'LL STEAL ALL THE COOKIES FROM THE COOKIE JAR!"
"Wha?" asked Flower, Vermont and Helga all in perfect sync.
Two seconds later divided by Pi carried by a decimal divded by the equation for work times the power of 10, Flower Potter found herself going to the Zoo. Now why in God's name Flower Potter was at a Zoo, I don't know either. The first thing little Dumass wanted to see was what kind of refreshments they had. They found a lemonade vendor, a hotdog stand, and a man selling peanuts by 2 o' clock in the afternoon. Dumbass had 10 glasses of lemonade, 50 hotdogs, and 13 bags of salted peanuts. Flower had nothing, as usual.
Dumass had never seen the a monkey before, and demanded they went to the Monkey House. Flower walked along with them to the Monkey House, where tons of monkey's were playing amungst themselves.
Dumass looked for the cutest smallest monkey she could find, and slammed her fist on the bars. "DO SOMETHING YOU POO POO HEAD!" she wailed.
Uncle Vermont went to the cage as well and screamed at it. "YOU FRICKIN' MORON! DO SOME FRICKIN' THING!"
But the monkey did nothing. It simply sat there and ate it's food. Flower continued looking at it while Dumass went to see another.
"Must suck being in that cage all day long," said Flower. The monkey perked it's head up. "Have you ever been to the rainforest? It must be where you're from."
The monkey shook it's head. Flower looked amazed and astonished by this.
"Can you... understand me?" asked Flower. The monkey nodded.
"Of course I can," said the Monkey. Flower cocked her brows. "You must be a Munkee Mouth! A human who can talk to and understand monkey's!"
Flower backed up two steps and looked eeriely around her. The room got incredibly colder, she breathed heavily, and you could see her breath. "I hear talking monkey's" she gagged to herself.
"Well, yea," said the Monkey warping her back to reality. "Hey, think ya could get me out of here?"
"Uhm....." Flower took a long silence, before Dumass knocked her out of the way.
"LOOKIT WHAT THE MONKEY'S DOING!" cried Dumass to her mother and father.
Flower ached in her stomach, and looked up at Dumass. She got an angsty look on her face, and next thing you know, the monkey cage bars fell off, and Dumass fell right in. The monkey hopped out, and looked at Flower and flashed a peace sign.
"Sayanora suckers!" said the monkey.
"Bye," replied Flower quickly in what she guessed was Munkee Mouth. Vermont looked at her sternly. "I'm in trouble, aren't I?" she asked. He nodded his head up and down. "Aw, man."