The Insanity of Draco Malfoy

Mission Encourage Pansy´s Advances hasn´t seemed to work quite as well as I´d hoped. Pansy seems incredibly happy, especially after we skipped Divination to go do, well y´know, what wizards do in broom cupboards. And I don´t mean stock up on brooms.

Nothing seemed to come out of the broom cupboard frolics though. I mean, I tried to pretend I was enjoying myself and Pansy was so caught up in the, er, moment, that she didn´t really realise that I wasn´t enjoying myself. It was all very un-fulfilling. Kinda like when you work yourself up to enjoying something so much that it´s just not fun when it actually does come around. Kinda like Christmas, I guess. The whole giving presents bit doesn´t really weigh up to the receiving presents bit, especially when you have Crabbe and Goyle giving you the most un-imaginative presents ever, while you give them something so much better.

Anyway, enough with the similes. The point is, I really think I´m playing for the wrong House. Maybe I play for all the Houses. Except, I don´t think I´m stupid enough to play for Hufflepuff, I don´t think they even realise that there are more than one House, if you get what I mean.

Bloody hell. Enough with all these metaphors and other English-related things, I´m starting to confuse myself - again. This lusting after Potter business is going to my head. They´ll be locking me away in St Mungo´s and throwing away the key before I can say `The Boy-Who-Lived´ soon.

I know plenty of people who play for both sides. Take Blaise for one, and that annoying Irish Finnigan in Gryffindor. Their sexuality is common knowledge - there isn´t anyone that hasn´t had a ride on their Nimbus 2001´s before. Apart from me, of course. And Potter, just `cause he´s got that virginal-holier-than-how thing going on.

But, it´s Potter. Bloody Harry-I´m-So-Oblivious-To-The-Fact-That-The-Whole-School-Is-In-Love-With-Me-Potter. This was worse than the world ending, or gasp, me not getting picked for Seeker, even if my father had bought the whole Slytherin team Firebolts. It was absurd. It didn´t make sense. Me, fancying Harry Potter!

I don´t even know why he´s in my thoughts all of a sudden. Life was just peachy; we´d argue and call each other various names - y´know, the usual - and then all of a sudden during the last Quidditch match, I was just about to go and knock him off his broom when I saw one of Weasel´s vast amount of brothers, Fred (I think, maybe it was the other one?) saying something to him. Well it must have been quite amusing coz Potter laughed like he´d just seen McGonagall in her underwear or something. He looked so... sexy. Then he glanced round, still with this big grin on his face. I dunno why, but I couldn´t take my eyes off the prat. He spotted me and then said some completely random thing about taking pictures coz they last longer. I mean, that was un-called for - it wasn´t like I was staring at him! Ever since then, he just won´t leave my brain! I thought I must be diseased at first, caught Potter Plague or something. I didn´t even know why I was so caught up about him this year, when he´s still the same short, messy-haired idiot he has been all the other years!

I decided to ask Blaise what he thought about him.

"Hey Blaise, what do you think about Potter?" I asked as we walked towards Potions.

Blaise looked to see where Potter was, hurrying ahead with the other Gryffindor idiots, "Harry Potter? Break me off a piece of him!" This got me quite disturbed, so I left the conversation until we were in the middle of some potion Snape had set us in class.

"Do you, er, think Potter´s good looking then?" I asked, trying to casually peel some ingredient.

Blaise looked at me like I was stupid, "Do you think Dumbledore´s the Headmaster?"

I frowned. "Er, yeah."

"There you go then."

Silence. I was confused. "Does everyone think this then?"

This time, Blaise frowned. "That Dumbledore´s Headmaster?"

"No, Potter being good looking."

"Oh," Blaise shrugged, "of course. Are you blind or something; everyone´s after him."

"Are they?"

"Yeah, look." Blaise motioned around. Sure enough, there was quite a bit of attention going Potter´s way. He didn´t look quite like the short, messy-haired idiot he always had been.

"I never noticed," I said.

Blaise grinned, nudging me. "You´re too caught up in Pansy."

I managed a grin. "Er, yeah."

Blaise threw some stuff into the potion and looked like he was thinking. "And he´s a Gryffindor. Everyone knows they´re gagging for it."

I dropped my knife. "They are?"

Blaise nodded. "Yeah, Finnigan and those giggling girls will go with anyone!"

"Even Potter?"

Blaise sighed, "Ah, Potter. He´s gagging for it; he just doesn´t know it yet." He grinned, "Don´t worry though, he´s on my list."

I didn´t know which I was more scared of - Blaise being after Potter, or Blaise having a list. Nevertheless, I was so confused with my thoughts; I ended up adding to much Wolf skin to our potion and found myself growing a tail. This was not a good day.