A Reflection of Himself

Janaury passed into February, but the wintry weather of Scotland did not relent. In fact, more snow had fallen, making the depth of it even deeper, which meant trudging through tunnels that had been dug through the snow whenever the students had a Care of Magical Creatures class. Being confined within the walls of the castle, the students grew restless and bored, for ever since the attack in Hogsmeade back in the fall, all weekend trips to the small wizarding village had been cancelled. Hermione constantly reminded Harry and Ron that they could be using all the extra time inside to study and prepare for the N.E.W.T.s, despite the fact that said wizarding tests were still over a year away.

Dumbledore's Army had resumed after several months on hiatus, but there were unfortunately less students in it than the previous year. With some of the seventh year students from last year graduated and a couple of others who simply seemed to have lost interest, like Marietta Edgecombe, the number was smaller, but it was still large enough to keep the unofficial club going. Harry demonstrated many of the same spells to block hexes and curses as the previous year, but in the midst of it, he seemed distracted. While he was in classes as well, Harry's concentration was wavering, and he would disappear for several hours each evening, leaving his friends wondering where he had gone.

Harry was visiting Sirius, but he didn't talk about his visits much with his friends, who were obviously beginning to feel neglected. Poor Ginny began to wonder if she had made a mistake by pursuing a quasi-relationship with Harry. Valentine's Day was fast approaching, after all, and Harry had not mentioned anything to her. She wondered if they were even really dating, as it were, for they had only shared a few kisses here and there over the past several months, and most of the time, Harry's mind seemed elsewhere. Sighing it away, Ginny supposed that was the price she had to pay for being the girlfriend of the Boy Who Lived.

The day before Valentine's Day had arrived by now, and outside the snow was falling harder than ever. The temperatures were subzero, and large gusts of wind ripped across the grounds, tossing the snow about, whirling it relentlessly in the air. To compensate for the extremely cold temperatures, more torches were lit within the walls of Hogwarts, and the fires that burned in the grates were enchanted to burn longer and hotter.

After his classes were done for the day, Harry returned his books to his dormitory and was about to head down to the Great Hall for a quick dinner when Ron stopped him.

"Hey, mate," he said, "you going down for dinner?"

"Yup," Harry hastily replied, "but I was hoping to visit Sirius afterwards..."

"Again?" Ron asked incredulously.

Harry threw Ron a pointed look and inquired, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"What d'you think, Harry?" Ron retorted. "You've been sneaking off every night to see Sirius, haven't you? 'Course we figured you'd been seeing him some nights, but you've been missing from the common room nearly every night now."

"So?" Harry asked, not trying to understand Ron's point.

"So? So?!" Ron mimicked angrily, his ears turning red. "Well, in case you hadn't noticed, Harry, there are other people besides Sirius who are your friends, but you won't be havin' too many friends if you keep ignoring them!"

Harry glared at Ron, mumbling, "Like any of you would understand, anyway."

Harry strode past his best friend in a huff and nearly plowed right into Neville as he entered the room.

Staring at Harry's retreating form, his eyes large in surprise, Neville asked, confused, "What was that all about?"

"I wish I knew," Ron mumbled. "C'mon, Neville. Let's go."

Neville simply shrugged his shoulders and proceeded to follow Ron to the Great Hall. Upon their arrival, they noticed that Harry had already eaten about half of the food on his plate. Although they sat around Harry, neither Neville nor Ron, nor Hermione and Ginny upon joining them, said anything to Harry about his strange behavior. Within five minutes, Harry had devoured everything on his plate, muttered a quick "excuse me," and had left the table.

"What's his problem?" Ron asked, looking to the other Gryffindors, hoping for some sort of answer.

Hermione, of course, offered one: "Well, with Sirius back and all, Harry just wants to spend a lot of time with him, which is understandable, but you must admit that he's been spending an awful lot of time with him." She frowned and took a sip of pumpkin juice.

A depressed look covered Ginny's face as she ate, for she had been secretly hoping that Harry had something planned for Valentine's Day. Ron had taken notice of his younger sister's discomfort, and seeing his sister in such a state made him angry, especially since his best friend was the cause of it.

"That does it!" Ron yelled, pounding his fist on the wooden surface of the table. "Harry can't keep acting like such a prat! If he won't change his attitude, maybe I'll give him a reason to..."

"Now, Ron," Hermione scolded, "that's no way to handle the situation. We must-"

"What? Talk to him?" Ginny blurted. "He hardly says a word to anyone; he spends all his time with that portrait-"

"You shouldn't talk about Sirius that way," Hermione argued.

"Oh, shut it, Hermione!" Ginny cried. "How would you feel if your boyfriend didn't plan anything special for Valentine's Day, let alone hardly spend any time alone with you?"

"But I don't have a-"

"That's beside the point," Ginny muttered, clearly exasperated.

"Stop it," Neville mumbled, feeling uneasy because of the quarreling that was going on before him.

When no one listened, he repeated, "Stop it."

Still, they continued to fight.

"Stop it!" he exclaimed, finally drawing their attention.

Everyone was shocked to have just heard Neville shout. Regarding him with large eyes and gaping mouths, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny were all speechless.

"That's better," Neville said. "Look, if Harry wants to talk to us, he will, right? I mean, he's always come to his friends in the past when he's had a problem."

"Yeah, but he keeps goin' to Sirius," Ron muttered, "and apparently, Sirius is the cause of the problem."

The others sighed, shaking their head hopelessly, and resumed eating.

Meanwhile, Harry had made his way to Lupin's office to visit none other than Sirius. Lupin was busy grading papers, as was usual, and tonight he had decided to take his dinner in his office.

With a small smile, Lupin said, "Good evening, Harry. Here to see Sirius?"

"Of course," Harry replied.

"Very well, then."

Harry took a seat in front of Sirius's painting, and before long, they were engaged in an animated discussion about Quidditch. Sirius was laughing loudly, as was Harry, but Lupin tried his best to simply ignore them and continue concentrating on his work.

"And one time," Sirius barked, rolling with laughter, "James put a jinx on Snivelly's broomstick, which made it fly backwards in a kind of zig-zag pattern, and then-"

Lupin groaned with dismay upon hearing Sirius's recounting of one of the Marauders' many infamous pranks. To make matters worse, this was not the first time that Lupin was finding his patience running short. Ever since Harry had been visiting Sirius every evening, Lupin was finding it more and more difficult to concentrate, and he found himself staying up much later than he desired, merely to have the next day's lesson plans ready and the students' parchments graded. Being the reasonable and understand man that he was, Lupin tried to tell himself that Harry and Sirius were just catching up on all the time they had missed each other. He certainly didn't want to be the one to put a damper on their time spent together.

But the noise level was growing insistantly louder and Lupin's tolerance ever thinner.

"Hey, Padfoot, Harry!" he called over to them. "Would you mind keeping it down over there?"

"Sure, sure, no problem, Moony!" Sirius yelled back, grinning widely.

Lupin hoped he would be able to work in peace now, but his attempt at finding such working conditions was in vain, for not more than ten minutes later, Sirius and Harry were shouting and laughing again. Lupin could feel his heart beating faster as the blood rushed to his head, and in that moment, the feral side of him was growing ever stronger. His breathing quickened, and his grip on the quill tightened until it snapped in half.

"Did I not tell you to be quiet?!" Lupin suddenly barked, standing up in a fury, glaring at the pair on the other side of the room.

Both Harry and Sirius was startled by Lupin's outburst, but having seen his friend like this before, Sirius replied, not completely seriously, "Hey, we're sorry about that, Moony. We were just having a good time, you know."

"Clearly," Lupin frowned, walking toward where Harry was seated. "Harry, I think you've visited long enough."

Harry was still at a loss for words. Nodding silently, Harry stood up and left the room. From his framed portrait on the wall, Sirius scowled at Lupin.

"What'd you have do to that for?" he asked, disappointed and feeling offended.

"Sirius," Lupin sighed, "Harry had been neglecting his studies. Even his grade in my class is clearly dropping, and Defense Against the Dark Arts is one of his strongest subjects. Surely some of his other professors will not be as lenient as I have been, especially Severus."

"Don't get me started on that git," Sirius growled, baring his teeth.

Lupin shook his head. "Won't you ever let go of your hatred, Sirius?"

"What for? He never gave me a reason to; he never let go of his, and with how he treats Harry-"

"He is not all that bad," Lupin argued. "Maybe if you would talk to him-"

"Talk to him?" Sirius snorted. "Right. Like Snape and I would ever have a civilized conversation. If I weren't already dead, I'd say that one of us would wind up in a matchbox before the so-called conversation was over."

"He did let Harry back into his class," Lupin acquiesced, "but getting back to the point at hand, Harry needs to concentrate not only on his studies but on spending more time with his other friends. Padfoot, surely you understand that."

Sighing, Sirius nodded. "Yes, yes, I do understand," he agreed. "Sometimes, I must admit, it's just like having James back, and I know what you're going to say, that Harry isn't his father, but, Moony, in so many ways, he is just like James. I never really had much of a chance to get to know Harry when I was alive, to be there for him when he needed me..."

"I know," Lupin said gently. "I know, Padfoot, old friend."

Ginny was sitting nervously in the common room, anxiously waiting for Harry. She had purposefully dressed in some of her nicer robes and done her hair nicely, hoping to impress him. When Harry came sauntering into the common room, though, he was dressed in his plain school robes and his hair was messy, as usual.

"Good morning, Harry," Ginny greeted him, smiling brightly, even if it was being forced.

Having barely noticed Ginny, Harry glanced quickly at her and muttered, "Hey, Ginny."

Sitting down and opening a book, Harry yawned as he tried to read the next chapter in his Transfigurations textbook. Ginny frowned and cleared her throat, in hopes that Harry would at least look at her. He kept his eyes fixed on the page in front of him, though, the words blurring under his tired eyes.

Scoffing, Ginny said loudly, "Well, if that's all you have to say, then fine!"

Harry looked up, truly perplexed, and asked, "What are you talking about, Ginny?"

"Oh, please!" she retorted. "As if you don't know!"

"I don't," Harry said cluelessly. "What?"

"Have you any idea what day today is, Harry Potter?"

"Er... February the... 12th? Or something like that?"

"You heartless prat!" Ginny yelled, throwing a pillow roughly at his head, which hit the intended target squarely in the forehead. "How dare you! You have the nerve to act all innocent, as if you didn't know all along that today is Valentine's Day! Of course, I shouldn't really be that surprised; you've been utterly ignoring me, anyway!"

"Wha-?" Harry questioned, shaking his cloudy head. Then the horrible truth of what Ginny was saying struck him. "Oh, Ginny, I- I'm sorry... I didn't know, honestly-"

"It doesn't matter now!" Ginny cried, her eyes welling up with bitter tears. "You can find yourself another girl, Harry, because I'm through!"

Ginny stomped out of the room and up the stairs to the girls' dormitories. Harry was left sitting there, still in somewhat of a daze. This was the second person to yell at him in the past twenty-four hours. Since he didn't have anything else to do, Harry decided that he would pay a visit to the only person who probably wouldn't judge him: Hagrid.

Grabbing his scarf and cloak, Harry left the common room and headed toward Hagrid's hut. As he trudged through the banks of snow, Harry's breath caught in his throat as he inhaled the frigid air. Did no one understand? Frustrated and angry, Harry wanted to pound something into pieces. Every step he took left a deep intention in the snow, for he was practically stomping across the grounds.

When Harry reached Hagrid's hut, he knocked furiously at the door. The half-giant's voice called "Jus' a minute!" from inside, and within a couple of seconds, the overlarge wooden door bounded open.

"Oh, hullo, Harry!" Hagrid bellowed. "Yeh come ter visit, eh?"

"Can I come in, Hagrid?" Harry asked, his teeth chattering wildly.

"'Course, 'course," Hagrid replied. "Ah jus' put a large kettle o' tea on the fire. Yeh want some? How 'bout summat ter go with it? Rock cake? Ah reckon 'tis only three weeks ol'."

"Er, no, thanks," Harry mumbled. "Actually, I just came to talk..."

"Oh? All righ'. Tha's wha' Ah'm here fer. Wha's on yer mind, Harry?"

"Well," Harry sighed heavily, "it seems like practically all my friends are mad at me..."

Harry went on to explain what had happened. Hagrid drank his tea silently, with the exception of his gulps, and when Harry finished, Hagrid said, "Well, Harry, Ah'll be honest with yeh. Ain't never easy ter satisfy e'erybody. Yer friends'll understand tha' Sirius is impor'ant ter yeh, but yeh can' ferget all yer other friends, too. Yeh got ter comp'mise...balance it ou'."

"I know you're right, Hagrid," Harry agreed with a heavy sigh. "It's just that I thought I'd lost Sirius forever, and-"

"No need ter explain ter me, Harry," Hagrid smiled. "Ah understand."

"Thanks, Hagrid," Harry replied sincerely, paused, then added, "Maybe I'll have some of that rock cake after all."