Eyes as Green as a Fresh Pickled Toad

Chapter Fifteen

Hogsmeade

Lily had no small apprehensions about the coming year. Sometimes things were fine, normal, and happy, but there were moments when she felt overwhelmed by even the simplest task. There were times she felt that ghosts were haunting her, times when the memories of her family welled up so powerfully that she could barely breathe. And there were times--many, many times--when she was seized by a gripping, irrational fear of the coming end of this year. Not the end of December and the start of the new calendar year, but the end of June and the school term and her time at Hogwarts.

Since the end of Sixth Year, a realization had been bubbling in the back of her mind that this was her last year in school. She'd already finished her last summer as a student at Hogwarts; next summer she'd be done with it all, finished, out in the real world looking for a job and losing the loose contact she had with all the wizards at school. A part of her life was ending, and she didn't feel at all prepared for it.

Lily had no idea what she wanted to do with her life. None. She expected that if Auror Training went well, she might go for that. Or perhaps teaching. Maybe she'd get a job at the Ministry. Who knew? She certainly didn't, and that was a bit of a problem for Lily, who liked to have plans for her future. However, unfortunately, though she was Head Girl and got good marks (okay--well--top marks, really) in all her classes, she didn't know that she really enjoyed any of it enough to attempt to make a career out of it. Sure, she liked Potions and everything, but what was she going to do--open an apothecary or something?

Even worse than her worries about a career was the thought that she'd never again have the life she did now. That she'd become an adult, and be expected to own her own flat and pay for all her own food and clothes and electricity and everything. Of course, that was only if she intended to live in a Muggle flat. She supposed with magic, living would become a bit less expensive. After all, they couldn't charge you for things you could produce yourself, could they? Still, that wasn't the point.

The point was...school had been a part of her life for so long that...well...it was almost like it was all she knew. She could of course, end up having to go to more school--especially if she intended to become an Auror--but still, it wouldn't be Hogwarts. Hogwarts wasn't so much a school at times as it was a way of life. It was her second home. She'd changed and grown and experienced so much since she'd first walked through its doors that it seemed very sad to have to leave. After leaving, life would just...never be the same. Who knew who she would stay in touch with? Who knew what would happen?

Lily hated uncertainty. She'd always been fond of surprises when they came in the form of presents and such, but nasty shocks like the one she'd received this summer no longer served any place in her life. She expected she would still be in touch with James after school, as her mum happened to be living in Potter's Cottage now. Well--not just Lily's mum. It was Lily, too. So there really was no escaping the James factor in her life. (Not that she'd want to, of course...)

And of course she would keep in touch with Melody and Mimi, and Sirius and Remus and Peter as well, as they were all friends of James--of course, Remus and Peter weren't as close to James as Sirius (nor were they as close to Lily), but still, Remus was very nice, and Peter certainly wasn't the most unpleasant individual--though, admittedly, he wasn't the shiniest wand in the shop, and he tended to be very easily impressed--but still. She expected she'd be in contact with all of them after school ended.

But what about the others, the people she knew and liked and saw every day simply because she was in their house or had class with them? What about Matt and Susie--and Gertrude from Hufflepuff--and--hell--even Arabella and Mundungus? And people like Wendy and Lin? Would she still see them? Would she owl them? Would she ever talk to them again?

Uncertainty ruled Lily's life, and she hated it.

"At least this is certain," Lily mumbled, staring down at her Potions homework. The potions they'd begun for Seventh Year were extremely exacting and nit-picky--in short, the kind Lily loved most. They required skill, thought, and attention. Some might call them tedious, but Lily personally saw them as a challenge--and one she was well prepared to meet. After all, if you could get one of these potions right, you could get anything right, and Lily liked having that confidence. It was important for her to have confidence in her schoolwork these days, when her confidence in so much else had completely shattered.

The Ministry, for example.

Not to cast aspersions on James's father, but it didn't appear the Ministry was going to be able to do much of anything to contain the Voldemort threat. It also wasn't clear to the public what the Ministry was attempting to do to combat Voldemort--or, in fact, if they were attempting anything at all. Newspapers and magazines like the Daily Prophet were being heavily censored by the Ministry, and those that weren't being controlled were printing stories too ridiculous to believe. The Quibbler had received newfound fame and glory by being the first publication in Britain to declare itself completely uncensored. To reassure the public of the validity of its claim, the magazine printed an article full of complete tosh about the Minister of Magic, posing some ridiculous allegations involving deadly weapons fashioned from Fizzing Whizbees, an army of house-elves, and a list of the Minister's scandals (mostly related to deep-sea tuna fishing).

James had read the article concerning his father, and then happily gathered up every last copy of it he could and used them all to warm the fireplace. James didn't care what people had to say about himself, the growing threat of war, or the Ministry in general, but when it came to his father, he was very touchy. Lily strongly suspected that his attitude was connected somehow to the events of this summer, but she hadn't ever asked about it. In the past, James had ignored any ridiculous statements about his father, but now, for some reason, it mattered. Everything lately seemed to matter more.

Lily sighed and returned her mind to her Potions homework. She didn't have time to think about what mattered and what didn't; that just gave her a headache. She needed to get through this essay and work out some Arithmancy problems so she could, for once, get some sleep. Despite her brand-new, secluded sleeping quarters (one of the many perks of being Head Girl), she hadn't been able to sleep much lately. Maybe her mind was troubled, or maybe she wasn't getting enough exercise. Maybe it was because she spent too many nights up late studying. Maybe it was the late-night meetings with James in secret school passageways that were mostly responsible for her loss of sleep. But more likely than not it was the nightmares that warded her away from the realm of the subconscious.

Not one night had passed since the one in August where she hadn't had a dream about the Dark Mark hanging in the sky. Sometimes it hovered over Lily's house, and she was forced to replay the events of that night over and over until she woke up sobbing. Other times, though, it was worse. She dreamed of other houses and other Dark Marks, of witches and wizards she didn't even know screaming in terror before they fell to the ground, silent and dead. The worst dreams, though, were the ones where the Dark Mark twinkled in the sky above Potter's Cottage, and Lily's subconscious presented her with pictures of all of the people she loved most in the world dead. Not just dead, either--not Avada Kedavra dead--but mangled, totally and completely, their skin ripped apart, their insides showing, all of their bodies hopelessly marred except for their perfect, unharmed faces, frozen in such expressions of pain and horror they'd made Lily awaken and vomit more than once at the sight.

So really, all in all, Lily didn't need sleep. She much preferred the waking hours, when she could control what visions passed through her mind. Often enough, her eyes presented her with a view of something pleasant--James, Melody, a couple of first or second years running through the hallways laughing. Not that students were allowed to run through the hallways, mind you, but Lily still liked to see them laughing. Sometimes Lily felt that it was good to see anyone laughing, no matter what the cause. Those who were yet untouched by pain deserved to remain untouched by pain, for as long as possible, as far as Lily was concerned.

These were the bleak thoughts that floated through Lily's mind as she went about her days, as she completed her homework and fulfilled her duties as Head Girl. There were far more duties than she'd realized, and though she split them evenly with James, they still took up more of her time than she had anticipated. There were, of course, always first years to look out for and point in the right direction if they happened to look lost. She was responsible now for not only disciplining the students in her own House but any and all students she saw breaking minor rules in or out of class.

She was responsible for posting many miscellaneous messages on the board outside of the Great Hall--especially, at the very beginning of school, those pertaining to various student organizations and their meeting times. Compiling that list had been a nightmare, especially as James wasn't very inclined to help and insisted on spending most of their time during that venture in secluded secret passageways that Lily hadn't known existed.

Also, Lily and James had to memorize all of the passwords for just about everything in the school, and often were called upon to invent new passwords for one purpose or another. Lily had taken to doodling password ideas on the margins of her notes in class when she got bored--which was slightly risky, if anyone happened to be paying attention to her notes, but she doubted most people would understand the significance of the words, as most of the words either pertained to her notes or were simply pure nonsense.

The perks, of course, were enormous. The Head Boy and Girl were each granted their own private sleeping quarters within their Houses, as well as their own private baths. Located about the castle were private study and dining quarters, and even several private toilets for their convenience. All of this had not been originally available to the Head Boy and Girl; rather, most of these rooms were a relatively new addition to the Head Boy's and Girl's perks. As anyone who has read Hogwarts, A History knows, many of the rooms now used for the Head Boy's and Girl's convenience were originally used for the Founders' convenience.

At the moment, Lily was in one of the private study quarters, which, pleasantly enough, had a window. Very few of the hidden rooms of the castle had windows, though Lily wasn't entirely sure why. Regardless, the soothing pitter-patter of raindrops against the windowpane helped Lily to focus, and she was deep into her Potions essay when the entrance to the room slid open and a very wet distraction entered.

"Hullo, Lily!" James said cheerfully, dropping his soggy bookbag on the floor and discarding his cloak next to it.

"James, why are you all wet?" Lily demanded, turning in her chair and looking at him disdainfully.

"Quidditch practice," James said, quite matter-of-factly, and Lily raised her eyebrows.

"James, Quidditch doesn't start for another month."

"Yes, and Gryffindor plays in the first game, and we've got to be conditioned!"

"You're crazy."

"No, I'm captain," James corrected, grinning, and Lily rolled her eyes.

"I'm sure you'll have plenty of time to start training in October for--"

"October! I'm not going to wait until October to start training! The game's in October! Even if we are just playing Hufflepuff, we've got to redeem ourselves after losing the Cup to those bloody bloated Ravenclaw git--er--hello, Lily, how are you?"

"Well, I'd say for being a bloody bloated Ravenclaw git, I'm doing rather well," Lily said flatly, directing a glare at James, who was avoiding eye contact.

"They're--they're not all bad, Lily, really."

"Uh-huh," Lily replied, just as flatly, though in all honesty she was looking forward to watching James try and dig himself out of this hole.

"Just--just the Quidditch players, you see."

"Of course. Because Quidditch players bear no actual reflection to the House they represent."

"Er--well--it's interesting you bring that up, Lily, because--er--that is--"

"Have the Gryffindors have decided to add 'stuttering' to their list of attributes? Is that what you're trying to tell me? Gryffindors: The Brave Stutterers! Well, I don't know if Sirius'll like it, but it sounds good to me," she said, grinning.

James glared at Lily for a moment, and then picked his wet cloak off the floor and threw it at her. Lily shrieked and pushed the wet garment off of her, standing quickly and kicking it back toward James.

"I'm all wet now," Lily whined, and James, who was still dripping with rainwater, grinned.

"Good, then it won't make a difference if I hug you!" he reasoned, advancing on Lily with his arms outstretched. Lily, who had no desire to be damp, attempted to assess all possible escape routes before realizing that there weren't any. So, try as she did to skirt away from James, he managed to encircle her in a wet, squishy hug that she only halfheartedly returned.

"Are you really running practices already?" Lily asked, her heart sinking a bit. The more he ran practices, the less time he had to spend with her. Not that they were...dating or anything. Not...officially. And...not that she...loved him or anything. Not...officially.... Either way, she still liked to see him as often as possible, and if he started up with Quidditch training, their time together would shrink considerably.

"Well, yeah. I mean, we do only have a month or so to prepare for the game, and then right after that at least one of us is going on that Auror thing, so we've got a couple new recruits training to replace either me or Sirius if we go. Although," he reflected, attempted to shake the water out of his ears, "we might both go."

"What about Melody?"

"Well, she's a Beater, same as Sirius, so it doesn't matter which of them go; they'll still have a replacement."

"But...what if both Sirius and Melody go?"

James froze. "Oh. That. Um...well..."

Lily rolled her eyes. "Nice planning, James."

"Shush. You're not a Quidditch captain, what would you know about it?" James said, though not very seriously. Lily stuck her tongue out.

"I know I can see the Snitch better than you."

"You cannot!"

"Oh, I can too, and you know it."

"It was a fluke!"

"Uh-huh. Sure, James. It was a fluke four times."

"Flukes can happen more than once!"

"Doesn't that kind of defeat the meaning of the word?"

"Meaning! Who cares about the meaning? Words aren't about meaning!"

"Oh, really? And what are they about?"

James didn't appear to have thought that far. "They're about...um...spelling."

Lily couldn't help herself. She laughed, without really understanding why.

James, who didn't know why it was funny either, grinned and assumed what he thought was an expression of wittiness, and this just made Lily laugh harder. James, who did not entirely appreciate being laughed at, glared at Lily (who was not paying attention to his glare) and sat down to take his squishy shoes and socks off.

Lily, when she was done giggling, stepped around James's discarded shoes and socks and attempted to collect her nearly-finished Potions homework. "You dry off," she said. "I should go finish this."

"Why not finish it here?" James demanded as Lily shoved the parchment and quills into her bottomless bag.

"You're sitting in my chair," Lily pointed out.

"There's another one over there."

"Well, you're a distraction."

"I am not!"

"Oh, you are, too, and you know it."

James attempted to pout, but it came out as more of a scowl. Lily rolled her eyes and kissed him on the forehead. "Tomorrow's Friday. You can distract me then."

"But...but...I want to distract you now."

Lily shrugged. "You know what the Rolling Stones say..."

"The Rolling what?" James asked, blinking, and Lily sighed.

"Never mind..." she said, and turned to leave, but James stopped her.

"No, wait! What are the--the Rolling Scones?"

Lily didn't know whether to laugh or bang her head against the wall. "The Rolling Stones, James. They're a Muggle rock band."

"Oh. Well--what've they got to do with anything?"

"I don't remember, James."

"Well then why did you bring them up?"

"I don't remember!"

"You could stay here until you do remember."

"James!"

"What?"

"I have to do my Potions homework!"

"Nah, do it tomorrow," James insisted, taking hold of Lily's hand.

"James, it's due tomorrow."

"So what? Do it during breakfast."

"James, let me go."

"OK, fine, do it now. But do it here!"

"James, we've been over this."

"I won't distract you, I promise!"

"You are distracting me."

"Well--but--if you stay I could help you!"

Lily looked at him pointedly. Last week he'd melted Remus's cauldron and blown up his own, and this Tuesday, instead of concocting a blue, shimmering Memory Aid potion, he'd created a brownish-greenish mixture that was roughly the texture of cement. (Sometimes Lily couldn't fathom how he'd ever become Head Boy.) James considered this.

"All right--well--I could pretend to help you!"

Lily sighed. "I'm serious, James. I have to go. I have to finish this tonight. I'll see you tomorrow. I promise."

"But we've got that Auror Meeting! They're posting the final list tomorrow, remember?"

"James, we've got all of tomorrow afternoon. Can I please go finish this somewhere?"

"Only if I get a big wet hug good-bye!"

"James, I'm not wet, you're wet."

"I can fix that!"

"I'd rather you didn't."

"I still want a hug."

"James, you already hugged me, and I gave you a kiss, so what more do you want?"

"Well, it wasn't a very good kiss," James insisted, standing.

"Men. They're never satisfied," Lily said, sighing mockingly. She kissed James good-bye, though, much better than she had the first time, and then, finally, took her leave.

* * *

Lily was not the only Seventh Year Ravenclaw being distracted by a dripping wet Gryffindor Quidditch player. Mimi Ramirez, while attempting to do her homework in the library, fell victim to the wet-dog look of Sirius Black.

Though Sirius was as damp as James, he did not attempt to foist his wetness on his girlfriend. Instead, he simply sat beside her, letting all of the water drip off his robes and create a friendly little puddle on the floor. Thankfully, Madam Pince was nowhere to be seen, or she would have whipped out her wand and chased Sirius halfway to Denmark by now.

"You're late," Mimi informed him, "and I'm trying to study."

"I'm only a little late, and you're only half-studying."

"You're an hour late, and I'm studying very hard, thank you very much."

"Of course you are," Sirius said, snatching her book away. "In what year did Geoffric Goddleby claim he found the thirteenth use for dragon's blood?"

"Nineteen thirty-four," Mimi said, looking bored, "but his research was discredited when a review board determined that his workings with the 'thirteenth use' of dragon blood were nearly the same as Dumbledore's workings on the third usage of dragon's blood."

"Damn, you're good."

"I know. Can I have my book back, please?"

"No, I want to ask you another one!"

Mimi sighed and sat back in her chair as Sirius fired a round of questions at her, all of which she answered correctly. Then, dumbfounded, Sirius handed her book back.

"When did you get so smart?" Sirius asked, and Mimi hit him with the book.

"I've always been smart, Sirius Black, thank you very much."

"Well--well--yeah--but--now you're smarter than me!"

"You say that like it's hard to accomplish or something," Mimi teased. Sirius glared at her and shook his head, spraying water droplets everywhere, and Mimi emitted a small "Eek!" and hid behind her book from them.

"What's the matter? It's just a little water," Sirius said innocently.

"And you're just a little muddy, dear."

"A little mud never hurt anyone!"

"No, but it made them smell."

"Do I smell?"

"Just a bit."

"Damn. I should fix that."

"There's a capital idea," Mimi said, a bit distractedly, as she was attempting to return to her studies. In all honesty, she didn't like to study, and she hadn't much before this year, except for the O.W.L.'s. There was something about Sirius that just infuriated her enough to hit the books and show him up in something. He was brilliant--incredibly brilliant--without trying, and at times made Mimi feel a bit slow, which she didn't appreciate. It wasn't something he did on purpose; he (and James, for that matter) was just smart without having to work at it.

Sirius and James got away with being the class pranksters because they had the grades to back their actions up. How they accomplished these grades, Mimi didn't know, as they always had the outward appearance of goofing off, even when they were attempting to do homework. Sirius, for example, constantly cracked dumb jokes when Mimi attempted to have study sessions with him, and distracted her so much that she got very little done. Whereas Sirius, despite his silliness, always managed to complete the entire assignment.

This was wholly infuriating.

"I'm going to get cleaned up, then, and go to bed," Sirius said, derailing Mimi's train of thought. "Don't stay up too late," he advised, kissing Mimi gently on the cheek before standing and attempting to sneak out of the library.

"Good night," Mimi replied, and watched him go.

Dating Sirius wasn't something Mimi expected she'd ever get used to. They'd been at it for two weeks now, and things were going fairly well. Sirius was, of course, adorable and funny and wonderful, and appropriately affectionate (as well as a talented kisser), and Mimi enjoyed her time with him. There were, of course, certain infuriating things about him--his intelligence, his intermittent preference of James's company over hers, and his tense relationship with Melody Cauldwell.

Of course, Mimi's relationship with Melody had become a bit strained as well. Ever since their prank war with Lily in the fall of Sixth year, Mimi and Melody had developed a lovely friendship. However, it had been broken up a bit by the long months of summer and then cracked further by Sirius and Mimi's rather abrupt relationship.

There was a certain amount of hate mail that went with the job of being Sirius Black's girlfriend, Mimi had discovered. She'd known Sirius was highly attractive, of course (she herself had twittered quite a bit about him in fifth year), but she hadn't known there was some kind of cult following that deemed itself worthy of sending angry, nasty owls to whomever Sirius happened to be dating. Mimi didn't really appreciate it.

But then Mimi supposed there were things about herself that Sirius might not appreciate, either. For example, her ongoing obsession with nail polish and hair care. So what if she was attempting to apply herself to her studies? She could still look good, couldn't she?

There was also her small infatuation with Remus Lupin to consider. She didn't think Sirius noticed, because she didn't stare at Remus across the room or anything (well...maybe once or twice), and she didn't talk to him more often than normal--which, sadly enough, was much less often than she'd like--but the attraction was still there.

Guilt ate away at Mimi sometimes when she was with Sirius. He didn't deserve that. After all, he wasn't off pining over someone, was he? And it wasn't as though Mimi would ever have had a relationship with Remus, anyway. She blamed herself for that. She had operated under the stubborn conviction for so long that he should tell her about his status as a werewolf that it had never occurred to her that he might not ever tell her because he liked her too much.

It was too late for all of that now, she supposed. Even if she broke up with Sirius, would Remus ever believe that it was him Mimi had liked all along? What kind of message was it sending that Mimi was going out with one of Remus's best friends? Did she really need answers to any of these questions?

Mimi sighed and banged her head against her History of Magic book.

This was not turning into a healthy relationship.

* * *

James ran into Sirius at the entrance to the Gryffindor Common Room, and they both walked in and plopped themselves down in chairs by the fire to dry off.

"How're things with you and Lily?" Sirius asked, spreading his cloak out on the floor.

James shrugged, not bothering to lay out his cloak. "She's obsessed with studying, Padfoot, what can I say?"

"That's what you get for trying to date the Head Girl."

"Well at least I'm not just dating someone to--" James cut himself off. He'd been about to say 'make someone else jealous'. The problem with this was the whole concept was beginning to bother James--in no small part because it had been his suggestion in the first place.

"Yeah," Sirius said, slumping in his seat a bit. "At least you're not like me."

"Aw, come on, Padfoot, it's not--it's not as bad as all that."

Sirius stared at the flames for a few moments before responding. "What if it is, Prongs?" he asked quietly.

James didn't respond. After a few minutes, Sirius shook his head. "Sometimes I think I'm the worst guy in the world, going out with some girl trying to get another one. But...sometimes I'm with Mimi and I'm trying to be good to her and I feel like she's not even thinking about me. It's weird, isn't it? Not like you and Lily."

"What d'you mean, not like me and Lily?" James demanded.

"Oh, shut up, Prongs, you know exactly what I mean. It doesn't matter if you're 'dating' officially or not...when you two are together...you're...well....together. You're not thinking about other people."

"How do you know that?"

"D'you have to be such a prat about everything? I'm telling the truth and you know it, so just accept it, why don't you?"

James mumbled something in response and shook his head. When Sirius didn't speak, he said, "I dunno, Padfoot. Sometimes I just feel like Lily doesn't...care as much as I do."

Sirius looked ready to strangle James. "You're an idiot. The girl is crazy about you, and she's yours. Don't you waste your time with her worrying about how she bloody feels." He shook his head at James one last time before stalking upstairs to the boys' dormitories.

James sat by the fireplace for a few minutes feeling stupid before trudging up to bed.

* * *

Melody had got into the habit of curling her hair. It wasn't so much that she liked it that way as it was that Sirius liked it that way, and she was trying to infuriate him. It wasn't fair, she knew, to make herself stunning just to make Sirius jealous, especially when she had no intention of pursuing a relationship with him. Plus there was the minor detail of Sirius having a girlfriend, but never mind that. Melody was feeling too selfish at the moment to care.

She looked at the glass and stared at herself for a moment before shaking her head at herself. Her reflection no longer mirrored who she was.

During the past few months, she'd begun to shed the Fake Melody, the one she'd been around her uncle, and find the Real Melody, the one she'd been around her friends. Although Sirius had been the first to point out how fake Melody had become, the first person to invoke a change in the Fake Melody had, in fact, been Paolo.

Now, however, Melody was neither Real nor Fake. She didn't know what to make of herself.

She spent hours every day primping. She curled her hair and plastered on her make-up around dawn. By the time she'd finished with this ordeal, she had very little time left to dress herself stylishly--though, really, there wasn't much to be done with school uniforms.

Melody had never felt so shallow in all her life.

There were, however, ego-boosters that kept the superficiality going: the way Sirius's eyes bulged out when he saw her, the male eyes she could feel following her as she walked into the Great Hall, and the dozen offers she'd gotten for escorts on the first Hogsmeade weekend of the year. The knowledge that she was, by most counts, the prettiest girl in school only fueled her desire to be as stunning as possible. Perhaps the more guys drooled over her, the more jealous Sirius would be. If he even cared.

In all theory, Melody knew, Sirius should care. He'd told her mere weeks ago that he was "crazy about her"--didn't that count for anything? His practically overnight decision (screw overnight---more like "over-the-course-of-a-few-hours") decision to date Mimi was suspicious at best. Melody occasionally wondered if Sirius was dating Mimi simply to infuriate Melody.

However, it was impossible to tell, as Sirius rarely talked to her anymore.

This hurt, in more ways than one. Melody felt the emotional pain of Sirius's avoidance as well as a physical ache that she got occasionally from missing him so much. No one but herself knew of these pains.

She hadn't discussed them with Lily, as Lily was still operating under the infuriating conviction that teenagers were not capable of being in love. Melody strongly suspected that this was because Lily was still thinking of love in the storybook fashion, the "I-fell-in-love-with-you-at-first-sight-and-now-we're-going-to-live-happily-ever-after" fashion that simply didn't exist in the real world. Melody believed that love was not hard to come by, and that falling in love didn't take very much. However, in Melody's world love was also fickle. It was equally easy and equally possible that one should fall out of love as it was one should fall in love, and nothing on either end was likely to be permanent. Lily seemed the kind of person who believed in everlasting love (which Melody strongly suspected had to do with her religion).

Lily's religion was a relatively new and unusual aspect of her personality. Melody had always known, in some corner of her mind, that Lily used to go to church every week, and had, when she'd first come to Hogwarts, prayed every night. Over the years that had dissipated a bit--but now, it seemed, Lily's faith had renewed. Melody saw her friend saying grace before she ate, and praying whenever she was feeling particularly depressed about the family deaths she was still dealing with. Melody didn't know quite what to make of it.

Wizards, as a whole, were not particularly religious. This may have had something to do with the fact that none of the major world religions produced any explanation whatsoever for magic. There were those, of course, who attempted to begin wizarding religions, but those usually ended up as cults, whose members eventually got involved in many highly suspicious "religious" activities that, sooner or later, turned out to be illegal. As a result, those wizards who wished to participate in religion at all generally chose whatever was prevalent in their home country--in England's case, Christianity. All of the deeply religious wizards Melody had come across were Muggle-born; however, it was entirely possible that there were deeply religious purebloods as well. Melody did not know. She had not met every wizard in the world.

Melody's mind spun back, trying to figure out how her thoughts had drifted off to religion. She stared in the mirror and blinked at herself. She didn't look like Melody Cauldwell anymore; she looked like a supermodel. Was that a good thing, or a bad thing? And was it at all ironic that she had to ask herself that question?

She knew the answer to one of those, anyway..."yes" to the latter. Melody sighed and stared at herself further, trying to figure out why she was doing just what she was doing. She knew--at least, she had a reason behind it--but--really--why bother? She couldn't be with Sirius. She knew she couldn't. So what was the point of messing with it all?

There was a reason, lurking deep somewhere in Melody's mind, but she didn't want to confront it. She didn't want to quite admit that she was still hoping for her one true love and her fairy tale ending.

But not everyone could be like Lily and James, and that was something Melody was just going to have to deal with. She sighed and took one last look at her flawless face and hair before turning from the mirror and heading to breakfast. She ignored the books sitting by her bedside. Who needed a Potions manual anyway?

* * *

Potions was awkward. Seventh Year Gryffindors and Ravenclaws had the class together, and the students did not mesh. The professors considered this highly unusual; normally the only classes where students quarreled were ones in which Slytherins were paired with....in which Slytherins were...well, just in which Slytherins were, really.

The students, however, were not surprised. Even if Wizarding Britain was in a state of panic, inside Hogwarts teenage gossip still prevailed. Everyone knew about Sirius's relationship with Mimi and Melody's severed friendship with the couple. They knew, too, of Lily and James's rapidly progressing relationship and the small rift this created between Lily and Melody. It seemed natural, therefore, for James and Sirius, the best of friends, to share a Potions table and partner with their girlfriends. This left James and Sirius's cohorts, Remus and Peter, to partner together and share a table with James and Sirius's less-well-known cohort Mundungus Fletcher and his girlfriend Arabella.

So it was understood by the general student body why Melody, on the first day of Potions, marched to the side of the room opposite her friends, snaked her arm through Adam Johnson's of Ravenclaw, and flirted her way to a table with him. It was less understood why, at Sirius and James's lab table, several glass vials were knocked to the floor, but then with Sirius and James you never did know exactly what was going on.

Potions continued in this manner for quite some time. Melody snaked her arm through a Ravenclaw boy's every day--never mind which boy, just so long as there was one--and made a point of sitting as far from Sirius's lab table as possible. This annoyed Lily, for a multitude of reasons, but then Lily's sitting with James and Sirius annoyed Melody, so, after a few brief arguments on the matter, they decided to drop the subject and pretend Potions class was normal. And, despite Sirius breaking an unusual amount of Potions equipment, things went fairly smoothly.

Today Melody chose her favorite lab partner, Adam. He played Quidditch and was fairly good at Potions; he also happened to be dating Alyssa Prewett of Hufflepuff, which meant she didn't have to flirt with him to be his lab partner. This wasn't to say she didn't flirt with him; she just didn't have to. Adam enjoyed partnering with her for reasons other than romantic interest. She was smart and easy to talk to, plus she had a tendency to mutter amusing, sarcastic things under her breath while Professor Thorne was speaking.

Sirius, however, didn't know any of this, and occasionally allowed it to distract him.

"What," he demanded, attempting to dump an entire jar of worms into his cauldron, "is she doing?"

"What's who doing?" James asked, a bit distracted by Lily, who was attempting to shove worms down his robes to get back for the one he'd put in her hair at the beginning of class.

"Sirius, what are you doing?" Mimi shrieked, snatching the worms out of his hands before they all fell in the pot. "Are you trying to get us in trouble?"

"Oh, it's just a worm, Mimi, it would've been fine...James, d'you think she likes him?" Sirius whispered to his friend.

James paused to glance over at Melody and then shook his head. "Padfoot, you do know you've got a girlfriend, don't you?"

"Sirius, you heard what Professor Thorne said! If you put in more than two worms, the Potion'll bubble over and stick everywhere!" Mimi scolded, dropping two worms in and securely fastening a lid over the rest. "And if this gets on my new robes, I swear to God..." she trailed off, glaring at her boyfriend, who was ignoring her.

"Well...yeah, but..." Sirius began, still talking to James.

"Well then forget about Melody and--AAH!" James yelled as Lily succeeded in shoving a handful of worms down his robes. Lily shrieked in laughter as James jumped around attempting to remove the wriggling creatures from his clothing.

"Sirius Black, are you even listening to me?"

Sirius had only a second to register this query before Mimi grabbed his ear and yanked on it, placing it right next to her mouth. "Aaah!" Sirius cried, and Mimi glared at him, unforgiving.

"Would you like to switch lab partners, Sirius?"

"No."

"Do you want to fail Potions?"

"Not particularly."

"Well, then pay attention!" Mimi commanded, releasing the ear, which Sirius rubbed, feeling annoyed.

"You sure are an abusive girlfriend."

"Well, you're an abusive boyfriend. You keep ignoring me. What do you expect?"

"Never-ending love and devotion?"

"Fat chance. Hand me the newt extract."

"You forgot to say the magic word!"

"Hand me the newt extract, dumbass."

"That's not the magic word."

Mimi made a noise of irritation and whipped out her wand. "You know what is a magic word? Accio!" she cried, and the beaker of newt extract flew into her hand. She turned away from Sirius and began working on the Potion again, mixing newt extract and dragon's blood together in a beaker rather violently. She ignored Sirius's attempts to assist her.

Lily and James, meanwhile, had gotten into a bit of a row.

"James! What did you do with the worms?"

"What, the ones on the lab table or the ones you shoved down my shirt?"

"Either! I don't care, but we have to put two worms in the cauldron in the next minute or the potion won't be good for anything."

"What, like it was good for something to begin with?"

"James!"

"Well, maybe if you hadn't shoved the worms down my robes I'd be a bit more willing to tell you where they are."

"Oh, for heaven's sake, it was just a joke and anyway I wouldn't have done that if you hadn't decided to put one in my hair!"

"Well, fine, if you want the stupid worms, have the stupid worms," James said, and threw several at her, ignoring the fact that most of them soared past Lily and landed on various people's shoulders and noses and chest areas instead. Lily, infuriated, picked them up and threw them back.

"You put them in the pot. It's your fault they're not in there in the first place."

"How is it my fault?" James demanded, throwing them back to Lily.

"It just is!" Lily informed him, tossing the worms at James's head.

"Well maybe if--"

"THAT IS ENOUGH!"

Lily and James, along with most of the classroom, froze and looked up at Professor Thorne.

"This is not primary school. If you want to play with worms, I will gladly send you back. Twenty points each from Ravenclaw and Gryffindor, now get to work!" he snapped, removing the worms from Lily and James's table before stalking off to the other side of the room.

Melody blinked at Lily and James from across the room. She first felt annoyance at their blatant immaturity. Shouldn't the Head Boy and Girl be more responsible? And since when did Lily cause trouble in Potions, of all classes? Had Melody missed some essential part of Lily's development? What had James done to her, anyway? She was glad she'd been sitting with Adam, because she wasn't sure she could handle how stupid they were being right now.

This emotion was quickly canceled out by her sudden, powerful, irrational urge to be flinging worms across the room with them.

* * *

Professor McGonagall heard of the incident in Potions. She was not particularly pleased with the Head Boy and Girl. As such, she detained them on their way to the Auror Training Meeting and had a brief word with them about classroom decorum.

When they arrived at the meeting, ten minutes late, they were rather surprised to see only six other students in the classroom, along with Professor Dumbledore, Alastor Moody, and a tall, dark, muscled man Lily didn't recognize.

"Sorry we're late," she began, apologetic, "but Professor McGonagall--"

"Thank you, Miss Evans," Professor Dumbledore said. "Minerva informed me she might be detaining you. I don't wish to be rude, but we have very little time for this particular meeting, so please, have a seat."

Lily and James took empty seats near Sirius, both still puzzled by the slim number of occupants in the room. From the list of sixteen that had been posted at the end of last year, only eight remained--and not by any means were they the combination of students Lily would have expected. "Where's Melody?" she hissed at Sirius, and Sirius whispered to her swiftly, "Didn't make the final list. Went off in a mad rage," just before Moody began speaking.

Lily tuned Moody out for a moment and surveyed the room in wonder. Melody was one of the best duelers Lily knew...how had she failed to make the final cut? Further inspection of the remaining students revealed that only two were present from each House. It almost made sense to Lily why James and Sirius had been picked over Melody, but not quite.

Present from Lily's own house was Adam Johnson. Hufflepuff boasted Frank Longbottom and Naomi Watts, and Slytherin House sported two of its most disagreeable members--Vivian Horvath and Sally Parkinson. However, Lily supposed, Vivian and Sally were better than Lucius Malfoy and Severus Snape, both of whom failed to make the final cut.

She slowly tuned back into reality and attempted to register Moody's words. She was immediately lost.

"...the other part of the session you'll spend with Fletcher Hawkes at the Ministry."

Lily assumed Fletcher Hawkes was the tall man standing next to Moody.

"You'll have all your meetings before the session with the same group, so make sure you copy down the right dates when we read the list off. Groups are as follows...Group One--you'll have to give yourselves a code name, which you can decide at your first meeting--Potter, Johnson, Parkinson, Longbottom...Group Two, Evans, Horvath, Black, and Watts."

He reeled off a list of dates, only about half of which Lily managed to copy down, and half of those, she was sure, were for the wrong group. Oh, well. Maybe Sirius had been paying attention. Lily glanced over and saw Sirius and James passing a piece of parchment back and forth covered with insane scribbles she could only assume were words. Perhaps it had been a stretch to think Sirius had paid attention. Maybe Naomi Watts had gotten all the dates down...Lily made a mental note to ask after the meeting.

Moody prattled on to the small, inattentive group of teenagers. When he stopped, the room was seized by a feeling of panic. Its youthful occupants realized they'd missed a large amount of crucial information, and they suddenly straightened in their seats and stared at the adults before them, each student silently wishing one of the adults would repeat Moody's speech.

Moody rolled his eyes. "Fine bunch of Aurors these are going to be, Dumbledore," he growled to the headmaster. Dumbledore simply smiled and nodded.

"I think you had better leave the meeting dates with me, Alastor. I daresay some of these fine young ladies and gentlemen will be needing reminders."

Moody surrendered a slip of parchment to Dumbledore and turned back to the students. "We're done here. Pay attention at the next meeting. If you lose focus like that as an Auror, you'll be dead." With that, Moody left, followed by the tall, mysterious Hawkes, who hadn't said a word.

"Congratulations to you all," Dumbledore said. "This list will be posted outside the Great Hall in the morning. I suggest you all take care to copy these dates down correctly before your next meeting with Alastor Moody. Now, I daresay you'll be wanting to get back to your studies. Off you go!"

As the students rose and filed out of the room, Dumbledore beckoned to Lily. Lily waved James and Sirius along impatiently, rolling her eyes at their puppy dog faces and mock heartbreak at leaving her behind.

"I wanted to talk to you about your music lessons with Windkey," Dumbledore began as soon as the other students had gone. "How much progress have you made?"

Lily grimaced. "Not much," she replied. "But then I haven't seen him for a few months, and I played over the summer. Well...it wasn't much...just a little, but...he said that even a little bit will help me, so...that's something, I suppose."

Dumbledore nodded. "Have you thought about continuing with him this year?"

"Well...I want to, as long as Windkey still thinks it's worth it."

"Good. He'll be pleased to hear it. However, in light of the events of the summer, we're going to arrange things a bit differently this year. You'll have to sacrifice part of your Hogsmeade weekend for lessons, and you cannot have lessons outside of Hogsmeade weekends."

Lily nodded. "That's fine. But--professor--"

"How will you practice?"

"Yes."

"Windkey is going to send over a piano. We'll place it in one of the Head Girl's rooms. I assume you don't want it in your dormitory?"

"No, thank you."

"Very well. I'll find a suitable place for it."

"All right. Thank you, Professor. Er--is that all?"

"For now, Miss Evans. Oh--and--insufficient as they may be...my condolences about your family."

Lily's eyes sank toward the ground. "Thank you, Professor," she mumbled.

"Ah, but perhaps I've said the wrong thing at the wrong time. I don't mean for you to dwell on it Miss Evans."

She just nodded, beginning to feel a bit numb.

"Well, I suppose you'll be wanting to go off to your studies, then?"

Lily smiled halfheartedly. "Oh yes," she replied dryly, "I can't wait to do my History of Magic homework."

"Have a good evening."

"You as well, Professor."

Lily left, trying to focus on the arrangements for her music lessons instead of Dumbledore's ill-placed comment about her family. Not until she reached her dormitory did she remember that she'd wanted to ask the headmaster about her necklace.

* * *

Every third day Lily ate breakfast at the Gryffindor table with James, Sirius, Mimi, and anyone else brave enough to sit near Sirius when he was hungry. Remus and Peter were generally the only people who fit into this category, though Melody joined them sometimes. Watching Melody and Mimi eat breakfast across the table from one another was odd. They didn't exactly ignore each other, but they never spoke to each other, either.

Today Melody had opted not to eat with the Marauders; instead, she was enjoying Arabella and Mundungus's company. Between Melody's seat and Lily's was a rather large group of giggly fourth year girls. Lily severely hoped she had not been quite that giggly when she was fourteen. She turned to Mimi for her opinion but discovered that her friend was giggling madly at something Sirius had said, so Lily just rolled her eyes and returned to her meal.

She glanced down the table to see how Melody was faring. Melody looked gorgeous, as usual, but picked at her food absentmindedly, and didn't show any of her usual sparkle when responding to the eager ramblings of several fifth and sixth year Gryffindor boys who had crowded around her in hopes of...well, who knew. Maybe a date, maybe a snog session--Lily didn't really understand boys' minds that well, and she didn't think she'd ever be beautiful enough for it to be much of an issue. She understood James--most of the time, anyway--and as far as she was concerned that was enough.

Lily's eyes flitted over the group of fourth year girls again and she blinked, noticing a very familiar blonde ponytail bobbing back and forth as the girl it belonged to shook in laughter. Wendy was sitting with these girls, talking and giggling and joking, and her best friend Lin was nowhere to be seen. From what Lily understood, neither Wendy nor Lin had been particularly popular amongst the other fourth years, least of all the fashion-obsessed, giggly, 'hip' ones Wendy appeared to be sitting with today. Lily frowned and looked up and down the Gryffindor table, hoping for a glance of Lin, but that search did not prove successful.

Perturbed, the Head Girl returned to her scrambled eggs. Maybe Lin's not feeling well today, she considered, slowly chewing a bit of egg. Or maybe she's just overslept. But then why wouldn't Wendy have woken her up? Normally Lily would not have been so concerned over the state of two fourth year girls, but she happened to be particularly attached to Wendy and Lin, and considering what had happened to Lin's family at the end of last year, Lily felt she had a right to be concerned.

When the fourth year girls began to gather up their things and leave the Great Hall, Lily wasted no time in excusing herself from breakfast and hurrying after them.

"Wendy!" she called, catching up to them at the doors to the hall. The group of girls stopped and turned to look at Lily.

"Ooh, Wendy, the Head Girl wants to talk to you. Are you in trouble?" demanded a brown-haired girl wearing sparkly earrings and far too much eye shadow.

"Of course not!" Wendy said, flushing a bit. "You go on ahead. I'll catch you up."

The girls shrugged and continued on toward the stairs, following the loud, brown-haired one. Lily pulled Wendy to the side of the hallway and raised one eyebrow at her. "Who was that charming girl?"

"Oh, her? That's Lucy Forester. She's--she's just a friend of mine."

"I see," Lily replied, trying to remember whether it had been a girl named Lucy or a girl named Carly whom Wendy and Lin hated last year. "How are your classes this year?"

"Oh. They're...they're all right," Wendy shrugged. "It's school, you know?"

"Just wondering if you and Lin wanted any more study sessions with me, that's all."

"Oh, yeah. That. Well....no, I don't think so...at least I don't, you'll have to ask Lin if she does."

"Well if you don't do it I imagine she won't want to," Lily reasoned.

Wendy just shrugged. "I don't see why she'd care if I did it or not."

In moments like these Lily visualized herself having bangs, just so she could imagine her eyebrows disappearing behind them. "Why wouldn't she?"

Wendy's eyes wandered away from Lily's before she answered. "I just don't talk to her that much anymore, that's all."

"I see," Lily said as a wave of disappointment washed through her. "Well...do you happen to know where Lin is? I'd like to talk to her."

Wendy shrugged and shook her head. "Probably off brooding somewhere. She doesn't go to class that much."

"Why not?" Lily cried, without thinking.

Wendy looked at the floor and shook her head again. "Who knows?"

"Well why don't you talk her into going?"

Wendy looked Lily in the eye again. "We're not really friends anymore, all right? So if you have any more questions about her, you probably shouldn't ask me. Anyway, I have to go to class."

She turned and walked away so quickly that her blonde ponytail was out of sight before Lily could think of anything to say. Dismay shot through the Head Girl's mind, and she leaned against the wall, marveling at Wendy's attitude.

A flood of students from the Great Hall disrupted Lily's thoughts, and she joined Melody on the stairway, forgetting her concerns about the fourth years--at least for the moment.

"Do we have a Charms test today?" Melody demanded as soon as Lily reached her side.

"I don't. Maybe you do," replied Lily, who didn't have Charms until Thursday.

"Oh, you know what I mean!"

"Yes, there is a Charms test this week, and I hope you've studied because it's a Theory exam and last time you took a Theory exam you--"

"Do you have to keep reminding me about that?" Melody groaned.

"Well you have to admit that Charming a piece of paper to eat itself isn't the best idea in the world--especially if it happens to be your exam."

"Professor Flitwick was very impressed with my technique, though. He said that had it been a practical exam I would have gotten top marks."

Lily rolled her eyes. "Well, it wasn't a practical exam, was it?"

"Minor details!" Melody exclaimed as they reached the Charms room. Lily rolled her eyes but smiled anyway.

"I'll see you later, Melody."

"Bye, Lily!" Melody called after her, and Lily continued the walk to Ancient Runes class by herself.

In the middle of a lecture about Rune Coloration, thoughts of Wendy and Lin popped into Lily's head. It concerned her that the girls were no longer friends, and that Lin didn't seem to be making it to class much. She strongly suspected both issues were connected, and that they had very much to do with Lin's family. Although that didn't quite make sense--why would Wendy, of all people, desert her best friend when that friend needed her the most?

Lily decided she'd have to track down Lin to sort all this out. In the meantime, there were exhilarating Runes lectures to occupy her mind....

* * *

Marauders' Headquarters had taken a sharp downturn in use since the end of the previous year. Over the summer, the room had undergone no use at all, and this year, what with James and Sirius having girlfriends (not that James and Lily admitted to being boyfriend and girlfriend, mind you) and both being swamped in Auror Training and Quidditch, there was a fair amount of dust collecting in MHQ. Remus found himself going there often to be alone and simply...think.

Lately he'd been preoccupied with thoughts of a career. He couldn't very well be an Auror, not with his condition, and in all honesty he'd only attempted the Auror Training Program because James and Sirius had. Occasionally he disturbed himself by thinking that maybe, for a werewolf, there wasn't any suitable career, and that even as a Hogwarts graduate he'd have a lot of trouble finding steady work.

A year ago he had not been so pessimistic. He had three amazing friends who knew his secret and were willing to go through great lengths to make sure he did not suffer through it alone. He'd thought that surely with a Hogwarts education, finding work would not be a problem--especially not with Albus Dumbledore as a reference.

Now, however...he often wondered if maybe the adventures he had every full moon were a little too risky for their own good. There had been several close calls with some of the village children, and he'd stayed awake several nights replaying them over in his head, horrified with himself and his own foolishness. James, Sirius, and Peter did not seem so perturbed. They'd taken to planning out their monthly adventures, sometimes deciding on their plans without bothering to ask Remus if it was all right with him or not. Of course at this point Remus expected James and Sirius would have been shocked to hear Remus say he had any objections toward anything they did, as it had all been going on for a while now without protest.

Secondly, there was all this "You-Know-Who" business. People were getting very shifty and suspicious, and it bothered Remus, probably more than it bothered the rest of his friends. As a werewolf, he was subjected to a great deal of shifty and suspicious looks, and more than once had been approached by shady-looking characters on the outskirts of Knockturn Alley who could sense what he was. So many werewolves

had taken to lives of crime--swindling, illegal trading, stealing, and even kidnapping--that people like Remus had very little chance of being viewed as anything other than dishonest, dangerous, or downright dastardly.

His thoughts were interrupted by the opening of the door to MHQ. Remus turned in his chair, surprised, and saw Peter entering.

"Hullo, Moony," Peter said, looking a bit surprised to see Remus.

"Hullo, Wormtail," Remus replied. "Looking for someplace to think?"

"Well--and try and work through my Transfiguration," Peter admitted. "I know James and Sirius could help me through it, but--I always get confused when they try and explain things."

Remus chuckled. "They're a bit impatient with homework, I think. They tend to go through everything pretty fast."

"No kidding," Peter agreed.

"Well--if you need any help, just let me know," Remus said. "I'm all right at Transfiguration."

Peter nodded, and dove into his essay with a rather uneasy look on his face. Remus stared at the fireplace and tried to delve back into his thoughts, but Peter was a bit distracting, as he tended to mutter under his breath and scribble things out every few seconds.

Neither Peter nor Remus got very far into their respective tasks before the door to MHQ burst open and James and Sirius entered, exploding with excitement.

"There you are!"

"We knew you'd be here!"

"We sure did!"

"Not a doubt!"

"Not a one!"

James and Sirius were both grinning so widely that Remus thought for a moment someone had zapped them with a Cheering Charm. Remus and Peter exchanged a glance and then Remus looked at James and Sirius and nodded.

"Good for you."

"Aren't you going to ask how we knew you were here?" James demanded, grinning, bobbing up and down as though he were ten years old.

"Um...did you guess?" Remus ventured.

"No, stupid, we used the map!" cried Sirius, losing his patience.

At this both Remus and Peter jumped out of their seats, running over to James and Sirius and demanding to see the map.

"Hey now, no shoving! One at a time!" James cried. "Wouldn't want to hurt the map," he reasoned, and set it down on the table.

The four Marauders stared at it with reverence.

"Wow," Peter breathed. "That's amazing."

"We--are--so--sodding--brilliant," Remus declared, staring at the little black dots crawling everywhere over the map.

"Indeed we are, Moony," Sirius agreed, slapping him on the back. "Indeed we are."

"It'll be so much easier to sneak out of the castle now that we've got this," James added. "No more sneaking looks around corners with mirrors, ducking behind statues, running from Filch..."

"...bribing Peeves, blackmailing the house-elves..." Sirius continued.

"It's bloody fantastic," James concluded.

Remus felt his stomach sink. The map was fantastic, but...was it the best thing for them? They'd already had so many adventures and so many close calls...however, Remus secretly felt that the number of close calls was much lower than it could have been, due to the time delay between Remus's reaching the Shrieking Shack and the rest of the Marauders reaching the Shrieking Shack. Often it took the boys an hour or more to get out of the castle and through the passage under the Whomping Willow, during which time Remus felt they would have had the most chance of running into somebody, were they roaming about already.

He did not voice these concerns, but rather leaned over the map to study the little black figures more closely, hoping the wondrousness of their work would distract him from the unpleasant thoughts drifting through his head like so many silvery clouds in the moonlight.

* * *

The first Hogsmeade weekend of the year was unusually cold and rainy, and the pubs and stores in town were packed with students trying to escape the downpour. Melody, due to a recently developed "third wheel" complex she'd gotten around Lily and James, had decided to spend the day with Arabella and Mundungus. Sure, Bella and Dung were technically a couple--but they didn't seem like a really serious couple. They were too much fun to hang out with for Melody to feel like she was intruding. Not that Lily and James excluded her. It was more just the feeling that Lily and James would have just as good a time with her as they would have without her, and at the moment Melody wanted to be in the company of people who really wanted her company.

During a particularly nasty downpour, Melody, Arabella, and Dung ducked into the Hog's Head for salvation.

"'S a bit damp out today, isn't it?" Dung commented, wringing the water out of his robes. "And look where we ended up! 'S the emptiest place in Hogsmeade, I expect...lovely pub..."

Melody looked around at the dim, dingy interior and raised a single eyebrow at Dung. Arabella rolled her eyes.

"Dung, if you think I don't know you're still thinking about those watches you're dumber than I give you credit for."

"Thanks dear. Want me to get you a butterbeer?" Dung asked, completely unaffected by his girlfriend's comment. Arabella sighed.

"Fine, we'll get a table."

"Great!" Dung said, and rushed off to the bar.

Melody and Arabella chose a small table in a corner of the room--or rather, Arabella charged to one and Melody decided to follow her. Presumably Arabella chose the table because it was tucked out-of-reach of Dung's prospective customers--though that didn't stop Dung from scanning the pub as soon as he sat down.

"I thought you only sold those watches to Muggles," Melody commented, amused.

"Well, usually I do but--" Mundungus coughed into his butterbeer suddenly, catching a glimpse of Arabella's face. "What's that, Melody?"

Melody rolled her eyes. "I think you need to get an earpiece, Dung. Your hearing's going."

"Well, old age isn't easy, you know. You young sprouts have no idea what it's like to be old like me...boy when I was your age--ughffblll," Mundungus finished, as Arabella punched him in the stomach. Melody laughed and took a sip of her butterbeer.

Little thoughts were bubbling in Melody's mind. When Arabella excused herself to use the bathroom, Melody acted on them. She leaned across the table and spoke to Mundungus, rather conspiratorially.

"Dung," she hissed, "how much money you makin' off those watches?"

* * *

James felt as though he were going on a date by himself. He wanted to be in Hogsmeade with Lily, of course, but he got the feeling she would be having about the same experience without him as she was having with him.

"Lily," he'd say, "you look like you have a lot on your mind. Want to talk about it?"

"Hm? Oh, no, that's all right. I'm fine...awful day, isn't it?" she'd say, then begin staring off into space again.

James got the feeling it wasn't going to be a very eventful date.

As they squeezed through Honeydukes, Lily holding onto James's hand rather absentmindedly, he turned to her and said, "Lil, do you really want to be here with me?"

Lily blinked and looked up at him. "What are you talking about? Of course I do."

"You just...haven't really been talking much. It's kind of...discouraging, I guess."

"Oh...oh, that. I...I'm sorry, James. I've been trying to stop spacing out, but I just have so much on my mind I..."

"Well d'you want to talk about it?"

Lily looked around Honeydukes and shook her head. "Well...right now isn't really the best time to talk...at least, not right here..."

"Well I didn't mean here, Lily. We can go somewhere else to talk."

"Oh. Well...I don't know, it might ruin the day and I wouldn't want to bring it up...and..."

"Lily...I don't mean to be rude but...you're so spaced out right now we're not really having a day."

Lily's cheeks flushed. "Oh...well...I'm really...um...I really didn't mean to...I...oh, dear. I'm sorry. I'm just being stupid I guess."

"Don't be sorry. Just...do you want to go somewhere to talk or do you just want to...be alone for a bit?"

"What will you do, though? I mean I came here with you and I'd feel awful ditching you--"

"You wouldn't be ditching me. It's all right. I promise."

"Well--I--I do need time to think and...if you're sure you wouldn't mind then I...oh, James, I'm sorry!"

"Lily, it's really not that much of a problem," James said, even though he wasn't sure he meant it. "I'll just go find Remus and Peter, all right?"

"All...all right. We should do something tonight, though. We can talk then. If you want to grab something from the kitchens we can go to that room on the fourth floor behind the tapestry with all those dragons on it...."

"That's fine, Lil," James agreed, and kissed her on the forehead. "See you tonight."

"See you. And--James--I really am sorry."

James just rolled his eyes and waved good-bye, as he was already halfway to the door, and Lily stood in Honeydukes for a minute, trying to gauge how stupid she'd been telling James she needed to be alone, when she saw the person who'd been occupying her thoughts for most of the day.

"Lin!" Lily cried, but it was too late--the fourth year was already out the door of the shop, and above all the noise inside it was unlikely she'd heard Lily. Lily shoved her way through Honeydukes and out the doors into the rain. Lin wasn't hard to spot; the streets weren't very crowded, after all, and a solitary girl wasn't hard to pick out amongst the clumps of students dashing across the streets. "Lin!" Lily called again, when she'd gotten closer, and this time the dark-haired fourth year turned to see who was calling her.

No emotion registered in Lin's face or eyes as Lily approached. Lily found it rather disconcerting.

"Hullo, Lin," Lily said. "How are you?"

"Hi," Lin said, in a small voice. She neglected to answer Lily's question, and both girls stood in the rain for a moment, awkwardly, before Lily attempted to speak again.

"Well...I s'pose it's a bit silly for both of us to be standing out in the rain, huh?"

Lin just shrugged and didn't move.

"Erm...d'you want to maybe get a butterbeer or..." Lily trailed off, as Lin had begun shaking her head before Lily had a chance to finish her thought.

"All right, well maybe we could...." Lin shook her head again and Lily stood for a moment, staring, as her brain wiped itself clean of words.

"Um," she said, dumbfounded. "I just wanted to talk for a bit, Lin...if...if you...erm...guess that means no, huh?" she said, as Lin had begun shaking her head again.

"Well...I...Lin, why don't you want to talk to me?" she blurted in frustration.

"I just don't," Lin replied, without much emotion.

"Well...why?"

"Would you want to talk to anybody?"

"What do you mean?" Lily asked, feeling uneasy at the range of possible answers.

"You're not stupid. You know why."

"But Lin--it's just that--well--I--I know how you--"

"You know how I feel?" Lin asked, lifting her eyes to Lily's for the first time. They were normally dark brown, but today Lily could see no difference between Lin's irises and her pupils, and this made Lin look rather as though she were possessed or...dead...or...something. "No one knows how I feel."

"Oh, but Lin, I do, my family--"

"I don't care. I said I didn't want to talk to you. Good-bye."

"Wait! No, Lin--wait!"

But the girl didn't look back.

"Lin--listen--if you ever want to talk I'm here!" Lily yelled after her, at the top of her lungs, as the rain had started coming down in sheets, and words were hard to hear over the downpour.

Lily stared at Lin as the fourth year retreated into the rain, and felt, for a moment, rather as though she belonged on the ground with the mud.

* * *

Despite the fact that many desperate students were fighting each other for carriages back to Hogwarts, often cramming in five on each side to get out of the rain and back to the castle, Sirius and Mimi felt little remorse about hijacking one of these carriages and using it as a warm, comfortable hiding place to snog in for a bit. Sirius and Mimi were both rather talented kissers, if they did say so themselves, and so far the experience was rather enjoyable. Although Mimi had certain misgivings about her feelings for Sirius, she had very few misgivings about kissing Sirius, and this afternoon was not encumbered with guilt about the pretenses of their relationship.

"Sirius," Mimi said, during a brief break, "just out of curiosity..."--she kissed him on the cheek--"when did you start"--and then on the nose--"kissing girls?"--and then once on the lips.

"Erm," Sirius replied, kissing Mimi in return, "not quite sure."

"Not quite sure?" Mimi repeated, raising one eyebrow at him. "How can you be not quite sure?"

"Um," he said, considering. "Define 'kiss'."

Mimi laughed. "What do you mean, 'define kiss'?"

"Well, you could mean like this," he said, kissing her on the cheek, "or you could mean...different."

"I meant like this," Mimi replied, demonstrating.

"Oh, like that? Well then...you know, maybe if you cared to demonstrate again, that might jog some memories."

They got a bit caught up in the demonstration, and it was another several minutes before Sirius attempted to answer Mimi's question.

"Fourth year, I guess," Sirius said finally. "Lorelei Livingston."

"Ugh, you mean that little whiny--um--oh, her? That's...that's interesting."

Sirius laughed. "I didn't like her that much. I--well, all right, I kind of did, but at the same time it wasn't my fault. It was James's fault. Well, no, actually it was Snape's fault, but we won't get into that."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Which part didn't you hear?"

"No, I heard all of it, I just...don't understand it."

"Ah. Well, that's a common side effect."

"Of what?"

"Being my girlfriend."

"What? Why?"

"I think you'll find that I'm quite often nonsensical."

"Well, yes, but when you're being nonsensical I just tune you out. That wasn't nonsensical, it just...requires explanation."

"Oh, an explanation. You want an explanation?"

"If you don't mind."

"Right! Well, you see..." Sirius paused for a moment, staring out the rain-coated windows, apparently lost in thought. "...what were we talking about again?"

Mimi groaned and buried her head in Sirius's chest. "Never mind."

* * *

Sirius was nowhere to be found. Neither were Remus and Peter. In fact, despite the dramatic number of people James had said hello to in the last five minutes, he hadn't found anybody in Hogsmeade he felt like spending an extended period of time with. After having no luck running into people at Honeydukes, Zonko's, or the Three Broomsticks, he made his way to Zorcoran's Charmed Gifts. James normally would not have bothered looking in this store for any of his friends, but there were few options left at this point, and besides that his cloak was almost entirely soaked through. Zorcoran's was a convenient stop not only because of its location but also because of the Instant Drying Spell Mr. Zorcoran placed on the door to prevent mud and puddles inside his shop.

James did not encounter any of his close friends inside Zorcoran's. He did, however, discover Arabella Figg in the back of the store, examining bottles of Self-Applying Shampoo and returning them to the shelf with a certain amount of unwarranted violence.

"Come now, Arabella. What did that shampoo ever do to you?" James asked, leaning against the shelf, feeling amused.

Arabella shot a glare at James and slammed a bottle of shampoo on the shelf. "It isn't the shampoo, James. It's channeling. I'm channeling my anger."

"You sound like a therapist."

"I can't help it. My mother's a therapist."

"Oh, yeah. I always forget that."

"Well...lucky you...she reminds me of it in every owl she sends. She's always trying to analyze me, too, and she always has something to say about Mundungus. Of course," Arabella continued, seizing another bottle of shampoo with such force that the cap nearly popped open, "at the moment I'm not sure I'd disagree with her."

James's eyebrows shot up. "Having a bit of a row with him?"

"You could say that," Arabella replied, turning the bottle around to examine the ingredients label. "You could also say he's a selfish, stupid, amoral--sodding--idiot."

"Well...you could...but then you could say that about anybody."

Arabella shot him a look and then returned to the ingredients label.

"What? You could say that about anybody. I didn't say that you'd be right, but you could say it...what're you looking at, anyway?"

"My head has specific requirements for shampoo. I'm allergic to some of the stuff they use to scent it."

"Oh. Well...I have never heard of anybody being allergic to shampoo."

"I'm not allergic to shampoo!"

"But you just said--"

"Oh, never mind, James, I've spent enough time fighting with Mundungus and I'm not going to waste any time fighting with you."

"All right then. Well...I'd better be going...I'll see you at Quidditch practice Monday?"

Arabella mumbled something in response, slamming another bottle of shampoo on the shelf. James raised his eyebrows again, turned around, and walked away.

* * *

Lily showed up in the fourth floor room hidden behind the dragon tapestry several hours ahead of schedule. She laid her rain-soaked robes on the floor in front of the fireplace to dry and curled up on the couch, huddled under a heavy, soft blanket for comfort. Things were not all right inside her, and she felt she needed to sort her feelings before she saw James.

Her conversations with Wendy and Lin had been the most depressing Lily'd had so far this year, even including the brief one she'd had with Professor Dumbledore concerning her family. Wendy's shallow behavior made her feel ill, and Lin's cold-heartedness made her feel like crying. And, more importantly, Lily didn't know how to reach out to either of them.

Her thoughts eventually overwhelmed her and tears leaked out of her eyes. Lily had cried so often recently that she no longer bothered wiping the tears away until she was sure they were finished. It seemed a waste of energy to wipe tears off her face over and over and over again. By the time her frustration had worn itself out, the whole room was a blur of shattered, distorted colors, and there was no geometric sense left in the world. That was why, when the Grey Lady floated through the wall, Lily did not immediately detect her presence, and therefore jumped and fell off the couch when the ghost spoke to her.

"Why, Lily flower! What are you doing up here crying?"

Lily, from her position on the carpet, hastily wiped her eyes and looked up at the Grey Lady. "Oh--Lady! I...I was just thinking, I guess, and...my emotions got the better of me."

"Must have been very sad thoughts. So many people seem to be having those lately," Lady said, sounding a bit downtrodden herself.

Lily climbed back onto the couch slowly, thinking. "Well...that makes sense though, doesn't it? Sad thoughts? So many things to be sad about nowadays...."

"It's been a long time since I've seen anything terrible enough to penetrate the walls of Hogwarts. This is the happiest place I've ever seen. That's why...that's why I decided to stay."

"Decided?" Lily repeated, dimly. She wasn't entirely sure what the Grey Lady meant, but expected the comment had something to do with Lady's ghostly state. Lily had never really considered before how people came to be ghosts...it had never entered her mind that there might be a choice involved in the afterlife. "Do you mean...you chose to be a ghost?"

"Well...yes, I suppose. I was too afraid to see what lay beyond, so I decided I'd stay here, because here was comfortable and happy and...it was the only thing I knew." Lady paused for a moment and smiled faintly. "I've never been a big fan of the unknown."

Slow thoughts picked up in Lily's head, and began to process faster as Lady spoke. "So--d'you mean--people can choose to be ghosts, if...if they're scared of what lies beyond, or--or maybe if they feel like they've got something they're leaving behind and they don't want to. Do people...do they sometimes decide to become ghosts because they want to stay in contact with people they love?" she asked, eagerly now, all her words spilling out in a desperate rush. Maybe...maybe if...oh, just maybe there was some way she could...if any of them had chosen to...if...if...maybe....

Lady considered this for a minute. "I suppose that's possible also. But...often those who were loved so much during life feel that they're prepared to continue on into the afterlife. Especially since...well, as a ghost there's only so much you can do to protect someone. In...the other life...there could be other, more powerful ways of keeping watch over your loved ones."

Lily's heart sank a bit. "Oh," she said, and sat in silence for a moment. "But--Lady...say...say someone had never met a ghost, and...they thought maybe staying as a ghost would be better than...than...whatever other options there are...I mean, is that possible? Does that happen? What...what's the other life, anyway? What happens to people who aren't ghosts?"

"Well...being a ghost I wouldn't know. If you choose this form of living...as pitiful as it is...then you never get to experience what comes after. And...as to your other question...I can't imagine someone choosing to be a ghost without ever having met a ghost. How would you even know if it's possible to be a ghost if you've never met one? And...what wizard alive hasn't met a ghost anyway?"

"Well...none, I suppose, but what about Muggles? Most Muggles don't even believe in ghosts, and--"

"Oh," Lady said, rather softly.

"Oh?" Lily repeated, feeling anxious.

"I'm sorry, Lily flower...I thought you knew...I thought I might've said it already...." Lady sighed. "Muggles cannot be ghosts. Only wizards can."

Lily paused for a long moment, feeling all her hope dissolve. "...oh," she said, very quietly, and Lady drifted a bit closer to her, perhaps to try and offer comfort, but it just made Lily feel cold. She suddenly didn't want to talk to Lady anymore, and stretched out on the couch, burying her head in a pillow.

Lady remained for a moment, uncertain, and then sighed and drifted away. "I really am so sorry," she said quietly, before disappearing through the wall.

Lily turned her head to the side and stared at the fire, allowing her eyes to go in and out of focus as they pleased. Threads of thought drifted through her mind but she didn't bother picking at any of them. After a while she felt like her whole body was going in and out of focus, and her eyes began fluttering shut. She fought to keep them open, both because James was coming and because she didn't want to fall asleep, because then she might dream. And Lily's dreams were never pleasant.

James, however, did not come soon enough, and Lily soon lost the battle with her subconscious. Her non-waking mind took over, and she surrendered to darkness, sleep, and dreams.

* * *

Lily's eyes fluttered open and focused on a cheery fireplace. Someone had covered her with a blanket while she slept, and she felt pleasantly warm, both inside and out, from this gesture. She smiled and sat up slowly, stretching, and it was at this point that she noticed something funny.

Despite her desire to stretch, it was not her stretching her body. It was not quite her smiling, either. And whatever she happened to be wearing, that was not hers, either. Her clothing was ungodly tight, and as she stood up, she felt the weight of layers of heavy fabric fall about her legs. Though she desired to look down, she found she could not--her eyes instead focused on other things about the room, and it was at that point that Lily realized she was not in the fourth floor room behind the dragon tapestry, nor was she actually awake.

She was dreaming, and it was a very strange dream, too, as, despite the fact that she knew it was not real, it still felt completely real. The room around her was beautiful, well furnished, and rightly proportioned, and was also not any room she'd ever seen before. Often in dreams when her mind presented her with rooms she'd never seen before, they altered themselves...whether over the course of a few minutes or a few seconds, unfamiliar places did not stand solidly in Lily's subconscious very long.

This, however...this room was staying exactly the way it was. Lily felt fascinated and afraid at the same time, as her hands--that were not her hands--picked up her skirts and her legs began propelling her across the carpet. Her hands pushed aside a hidden panel and she emerged into a stone hallway, much colder than the room she'd just left, and lit only by dim torches flickering in sconces every ten feet or so along the wall.

Lily got the sense she was traveling through a world much older than her own, especially once she'd reasoned that the clothing binding her chest so tightly was a corset. She was dying to look down and examine her dress, but she did not have control over her eyes, and whoever it was controlling them desired only to look straight ahead as they walked.

After a few more minutes, Lily got the sense that there wasn't really anybody controlling her. She began to feel more as though she was intruding in someone's body, and just happened to be a passenger in the backseat of someone's mind, along for the ride as they walked through...whatever ridiculously large stone building she was in...looking for...well, who knew what.

Eventually Lily's body stopped at a large, impressive doorway, which she knocked on. A voice inside granted her entry, and smiling, she entered the room and closed the door behind her.

Sitting behind a massive oak desk was a stunning man, a few years older than Lily, but perhaps the same age as the person Lily happened to be...inhabiting? Was that the right word? Was there a right word? Well, Lily supposed, as the body she was in hurried over to the desk, maybe there isn't a word for this. The gorgeous man behind the desk dropped the ridiculously large peacock-tail quill he was holding as Lily approached and stood to wrap Lily in a hug.

Hm, Lily thought, this dream isn't so bad. I'm in a beautiful mansion, I'm hugging a beautiful man...I could get used to this....

"I'm sorry I fell asleep," she heard herself say, and wanted to jump in surprise at the sound of the voice. It was so very different from Lily's own, so much more melodic and elegant-sounding, that Lily felt highly unsettled and a bit jealous at the same time. "It was sweet of you to cover me with a blanket."

"I couldn't have you freezing to death, could I? Who then would care for my children?"

"Your children? Is that all? You have servants for your children, my dear. It pains me to know you care so little for my well-being."

The man chuckled, a deep, unbelievably sexy noise that made goose bumps erupt all over Lily's skin. Or perhaps it was just the woman's skin...obviously this woman, corset, melodic voice and all, was married to the gorgeous man--well, hopefully they were married--and was still very much in love with him. The man, Lily decided, when he began kissing her, was most obviously in love with the woman as well...and if he wasn't, he was doing a very good job of pretending.

This, Lily thought, in the middle of the kiss, is the oddest experience I've ever had.

She could feel everything the woman was feeling, yet did not know any of the woman's thoughts. They shared the same body but not the same mind. They kissed the same man, yet Lily knew she did not belong to this man, whereas the woman belonged completely, body, heart, and mind, to whoever the rich, gorgeous, sexy, talented-at-kissing man was.

Lily was beginning to feel she needed names for these people. She was intruding so completely on their live that she felt uneasy not being able to identify them.

"Oh, Patrick," the woman said, sighing, when the kiss was over. Well, that solves one problem, Lily thought. "Everything's so wonderful. I can't believe we're going to have a baby."

"Well, darling, we did have--"

"Patrick! That is not appropriate!"

Patrick laughed. "Laurelle, darling, no one is around to hear." Finally, a name! Lily rejoiced.

"The baby might hear!" Laurelle protested, placing a hand on her stomach--which, Lily could now tell, was swelling slightly.

"I apologize most profusely," Patrick said, giving Laurelle another kiss.

As gorgeous as Patrick as was, and as nice as it was to kiss him, Lily was beginning to feel very intrusive--and also insanely confused. Why was she having this dream? Who were these people? What was her subconscious doing to her?

Fortunately, Lily did not have to wonder much longer, as the dream began fading. She fell into black unconsciousness for several minutes before she drifted back to the world. Her sense of touch tuned into the world first, and she felt a warm hand on her shoulder and warm lips brushing her cheek.

Lily opened her eyes to see James hovering over her, lips now inches away from her cheek, hand on her shoulder, which he'd considerately covered with a blanket.

"'Lo, James," Lily mumbled, and James jumped slightly.

"Did I wake you?" he whispered. "I didn't mean to."

"No," Lily said, shaking her head. "At least...I don't think so. It's all right, though. I don't mind."

"Are you sure? If you want to go back to sleep you can."

"No," she replied, sitting up slowly. She looked around the room and stretched, relieved to discover she was back in control of her body--and, in fact, that she was in her body. "Oh, man," she said, as James sat down next to her. She began fiddling with her necklace absentmindedly and stared at the fire, shaking her head in disbelief at the dream she'd just had..

"What?" James asked.

"I dunno, I just...I was having the weirdest dream...."

* * *

Melody returned from Hogsmeade with gold and silver watches bulging in her pockets and a slip of very important parchment clutched in her hand. On the parchment were six highly important names--names of people who traded things like Mundungus--people who could get her money--people who could get her out of debt and save her from her uncle.

So what if it was a little illegal? After all, in the long run, what was a faulty watch compared to the lives of her family? And besides that--not all of it was illegal. One of the names belonged to a merchant who sold shoes. Melody, having three hundred pairs of quite nice shoes, felt she was at least in a position to sell her footwear, if nothing else--especially if her uncle would not take them.

Guilt ate away little bits of her, but she ignored it. Never mind about illegal right now. Never mind that she was keeping things--so many things--from her best friend. Never mind that she'd lied to Sirius, and never mind that every day she woke up and tried, with every trick of hair, make-up, and clothing she knew, to make him want her. Never mind any of that.

Melody had screwed up. And if her uncle was going to make her pay, she was going to do it on her own terms, damn it, and not his.

And that was all there was to it.

* * *

During the weeks preceding the Quidditch match, there was some controversy as to who would commentate the game. Eric Chang's graduation left the spot wide open for a successor, and Madam Hooch was in charge of appointing the next lucky soul. The chaos that ensued when the announcement was posted on the board in front of the Great Hall was equal to the chaos Madam Hooch had endured last February when the school was hit with the flu and she'd (rather unwisely) chosen Lily Evans to take Eric Chang's place as commentator for the Gryffindor/Slytherin game.

This year Madam Hooch interviewed the potential commentators much more thoroughly, and turned Lily away from the interviews twice before threatening the Head Girl with a detention. Lily was bitter about this for several days, but, fortunately, didn't get much chance to complain about it, as she was buried under a mountain of homework.

All of the Seventh Years in the Auror Training Program were being bombarded with homework. This was tough on James, Sirius, and Naomi Watts especially, as they were all in heavy training for the upcoming Quidditch match. Lily couldn't imagine having Quidditch practice three nights a week in addition to the enormous pile of homework the students had to complete each night. It usually took the Head Girl three hours to finish all of it--and that was without distractions or interruptions in the form of Head Girl duties. Currently, Lily was pulling double duty, as James certainly wasn't in any condition to fulfill his Head Boy duties--so maybe she did have some idea of what it was like to have Quidditch practice after all. Though, of course, her pursuits as Head Girl were not nearly as muddy as James's pursuits at Quidditch.

The end of September and beginning of October were unusually rainy, and it was a rare day indeed when Lily didn't see muddy Quidditch players trudging through Hogwarts, looking as though they'd pay a hundred Galleons for a hot bath. Therefore, it didn't quite seem fitting when, on the third Saturday in October, the sun appeared behind the clouds and the day dawned bright and rosy.

There wasn't a speck of rain on the pitch when the Quidditch players stepped out of their locker rooms, and both teams looked a bit disconcerted with the nice weather.

An ecstatic, bubbly third year girl with bright blonde hair down to her waist took the microphone in the commentator's stand. "Good morning everyone, and welcome to our first Quidditch match of the year! The day is bright and sunny, with no forecast of rain. Our Quidditch players are taking the pitch...playing for Gryffindor today we have Fletcher, Figg, Cauldwell, Appleton, Brown, Black, and this year's Captain and Seeker, James Potter!"

A cheer erupted in the Gryffindor section, and Lily shot a dirty look at a group of fifth year girls who appeared to be swooning over James. Mimi, who was sitting next to Lily, laughed and poked her friend in the arm.

"Feeling a bit possessive?"

"No," Lily replied defensively. "I just don't like all these girls twittering over my...over James all the time."

"Oh, for heaven's sake, Lily, you can call him your boyfriend!"

"No I can't!" Lily protested, her cheeks turning a bit pink.

Mimi rolled her eyes in irritation. "You know, you and James really need to get over this whole 'third-year' complex you have about saying you're boyfriend and girlfriend. It's not that big a deal, Lily, and I don't see why you're so embarrassed to be going out with him. Honestly. If he was my boyfriend, I'd--"

"Mimi!"

"What?"

"Could you pause for a second?"

"All right...I'm pausing," Mimi replied, raising an eyebrow at Lily.

"I'm not embarrassed."

"Uh-huh."

"I'm not. It's not that, okay?"

"What is it then?"

"It's just...he hasn't actually asked me out yet, all right?"

Mimi blinked. "Are you serious?" she demanded.

Lily shrugged and looked out on the pitch again. "Maybe he just doesn't want to..."

"What? Be your significant other? Lily, that's stupid. Of course he does."

"Well...I guess so. It doesn't matter, anyway."

"Lily, quit being ridiculous. Of course it matters. He'll ask you out. Don't worry about it. He's just being a silly boy, that's all."

"Oh...I don't think that's really it...but sure, you're probably right."

"Why? What do you think it is?"

Lily shrugged. "I can't really explain it, but...I feel like we're in a relationship. You know? Like it's and official relationship, except...we kind of skipped the whole 'making it official' part. That's all."

Mimi laughed. "You and James are such dorks!"

"I am not a dork!"

"Oh, you are too...but you're a cute little dork couple."

Lily rolled her eyes but smiled. "Yes, well, I am pretty cute, if I say so myself," she joked, flipping her hair over her shoulder as haughtily as she could manage.

"Wow," Mimi said, staring at the pitch.

"What? Wow what? what happened?"

"They've been playing Quidditch for five whole minutes, and you haven't told me to shut up once so you could watch the game."

"Oh, shut up, Mimi!" Lily said, shoving her friend, who was now laughing.

"Oh...guess I spoke too soon!" Mimi said, still giggling.

Lily stuck her tongue out, flipped her hair haughtily one more time, and then turned her mind to Quidditch.

* * *

October flew. Gryffindor took an uneasy victory over Hufflepuff, 190-120, and the week after the match James and Sirius decided to sleep instead of studying, which resulted in a frantic weekend of studying and essay-writing to make up for their slacking. This weekend happened to coincide with the second Hogsmeade weekend of the year, and as a result James and Sirius didn't spend very much time in the village. Lily, taking pity on them, despite the fact that it was their fault they were in such a dilemma in the first place, went to Hogsmeade with Mimi and brought back several flasks of butterbeer, sweets from Honeydukes, and even a bag of Dungbombs from Zonko's.

Lily tried to locate Melody to ask if she wanted to go to Hogsmeade and talk for a bit, but was unsuccessful in this venture. She spent the afternoon with Mimi instead, attempting to play chess in the Ravenclaw Common Room while Matt watched, his socks playing dramatic music after every move. She was distracted, however, with thoughts of Melody. Lily hadn't talked to Melody in quite a while--at least not about anything serious--and as Lily was leaving Hogwarts in a week, she wanted to get in some quality time with her best friend. More distressing than the lack of communication between Lily and Melody, however, was the fact that nobody, the entire weekend, seemed to have any idea where Melody was.

* * *

Melody walked to Hogsmeade with a bag full of merchandise and several pockets full of Galleons. Her plan, so far, was working miraculously well. Her earnings, of course, weren't nearly enough to pay off her uncle, but they were quite a bit larger than she expected, and she had several appointments in Hogsmeade today, which she hoped would increase her earnings considerably.

She stopped first at the post office, to send off some of the merchandise to faithful customers, and then proceeded to the Hog's Head for her first appointment.

Melody could tell, from the minute she stepped in the door, that today was not going to go quite as she had planned. Part of this was because her appointment seemed to be engaged in a transaction with someone else. Part of this was because, as soon as she set foot in the pub, someone grabbed her arm, rather harshly, and steered her in a direction she did not want to be steered. Mostly, however, she felt that her plans were going to awry because, when she stepped into the pub, she saw her uncle waiting for her in the back of the room, by the staircase that led to the private quarters upstairs.

One of her uncle's many servants grabbed her arm and half-dragged her to the staircase. From this point, Melody's uncle took hold of her arm, and he pulled her upstairs behind him and into a small room containing one table and two chairs. He tossed her in the general direction of a chair, which she nearly fell over, and commanded her to sit. Melody, due to lack of better options, obeyed, and let her stomach tie itself into knots as Hans paced back and forth across the room, in a rage, though Melody had no idea why.

After a few minutes of pacing, Hans stopped, turned, and strode to the table, which he leaned over so he could glare at Melody properly. Melody sat in her chair, stiffly, and looked him in the eye, unwilling to listen to him but not feeling as though she had another option.

"You--idiot--GIRL!" he yelled finally.

Melody's hands clenched the sides of her seat, but she didn't move except to blink, and elected not to speak.

"Fake watches? Used shoes? Charmed jewelry? Just how stupid are you?"

A lump blossomed in Melody's throat. How did he know? How had he found out? She still didn't speak, knowing now that if she did she would cry, and she couldn't bear to display such weakness in front of a figure so cold and enraged as her uncle.

"Did you honestly think that it would work? Did you think you could make enough money in enough time to pay me back? And what were you thinking getting involved in something illegal anyway? Do you want to get thrown in jail? You wouldn't be much good to your family in jail, now would you? Or perhaps you'd like to end up dead, Melody! Does that sound like fun to you? People involved in illegal trades aren't all nice, you know. You mess up once and they have no problem eliminating the person who caused them a problem. DID YOU STOP AND THINK OF THAT BEFORE YOU RUSHED INTO THIS ILL-CONCEIVED, INADEQUATE, AND DOWNRIGHT IDIOTIC SCHEME? OR DID YOU LISTEN TO YOUR STUPID TEENAGE FRIEND?"

Melody swallowed and averted her eyes from her uncle's.

"Melody, I don't know what game you think you're playing at," Hans hissed into Melody's ear. "But right now you are gambling with people's lives. I don't think you want your family's fate to be determined by a set of fake watches, now do you?"

Melody couldn't quite peg her emotions. Part of her wanted to stand up, seize the chair, and hit her uncle over the head with it. Another part of her wanted to look at her uncle, lie about being sorry, and continue her illegal trading. But another part of her--the biggest part of her--felt like crying. This was her father's brother, for God's sake, and he was threatening to destroy the people who meant everything to Melody's father. And everything to Melody. That alone was enough to make her hate her uncle. The fact that he was not satisfied with threatening to destroy everyone Melody cared about most, but had to destroy Melody's life, too, not only made Melody want to destroy her uncle, but destroy herself as well.

But that day in the Hog's Head, she didn't say anything about that. She didn't say anything at all. She sat and listened to her uncle scream and yell about her stupidity, her worthlessness, her inadequacy, and her incompetence. She sat and stared at the wall until she could tune him out.

Then, and only then, was she able to think clearly enough to realize two things, neither of which she knew she'd realized until her uncle was done yelling at her, and she'd left the Hog's Head, run back to Hogwarts, and collapsed on her bed, sobbing.

First of all, Hans needed her. He wasn't just threatening her because he thought she was stupid--he honestly needed her. She'd realized, subconsciously, that if everything in Hans's life was running smoothly, he would not be so concerned about Melody's actions, legal or illegal, nor would he care whether she got thrown in jail or not. He must be in desperate need of money, Melody reasoned, and as far as he can tell, I'm the only way he can get it.

Hans's fortune was dwindling. He was running out of options and resources fast, and the only way he could think to lift himself out of this mess, and quickly, was to marry his niece off to the richest bastard he could find as soon as she came of age. This didn't mean that he wasn't serious about killing Melody's family--the only person he really needed was her. So even though Melody wasn't in any direct danger, it didn't mean she was off the hook. He still expected her to go through with his plan, and she still expected he'd hurt her family if he got the chance.

Although this was sick, twisted, and made Melody want to hurt her uncle more than ever, it finally made sense. And understanding what her uncle really wanted was a huge asset to Melody's plans. Of course, she didn't really have plans until she understood what her uncle wanted...but as soon as she'd come to the conclusion that he just needed her to rebuild his fortune, she came to her second realization. And as soon as she came to her second realization, she smacked herself in the head several times, and then banged her head against the wall once for good measure.

Melody was in love with Sirius. She knew it, Lily knew it, James knew it, and, somewhere in some little corner of Sirius's heart, Sirius probably knew it too. This would have had no impact on Melody's life, or her bastard uncle's plans, except for one simple, undeniable, highly wonderful fact:

Sirius Black was loaded.

The Blacks were rich. Hell, they were rich beyond rich. They were rich for fifteen generations back on Sirius's father's side. And Melody, if she played her cards right, just might be able to marry that.

Of course, currently, there were several problems with this plan. For one, Melody had told Sirius that she didn't love him. For another, Melody was no longer sure how Sirius felt about her. Most of this, of course, was caused by the third problem in the plan: Sirius was already in a relationship.

Melody stayed up most of the night, pacing, thinking, and occasionally crying with relief, and came to only one conclusion:

She was definitely, completely, hopelessly gone over Sirius Black.

And that, for what felt like the first time in her entire life, was okay.

In fact, it was more than okay.

It was perfect.

* * *