Pus and Oliver Wood

"Come on Ronniekins, you know I don't care what you look like, I'll love you no matter what." Seamus Finnigan peered under his boyfriend's bed. It was far too dark for him to see anything, but he could hear some very definite sniffling noises. Ron had been under the bed ever since that afternoon's Potions class. Now he let out a rather unattractive snort.

"Yeah right, you so care about how I look! It's a well known fact that you date guys for their looks, and there is no way I'm coming out looking like this. My face is all full of pus! Snape probably planned this so you would break up with me! He knows you're that shallow, and he wants me miserable." Seamus was indignant for a moment, but then he realized that Ron's description of his dating pattern was pretty much accurate. So instead of getting upset, he just shrugged and tried again to persuade Ron out from under the bed.

"Ron, if you don't come out from under there this very moment I'll... I'll go snog Oliver Wood, and don't think I won't do it! He may not have your pretty red hair and fair skin, but he's got quite the yummy body from all that Quidditch practice. That boy handles his broom nicely on the pitch; I wonder how he'd handle my broom..." As Seamus trailed off, he waited for Ron's reaction, knowing how possessive the taller boy was of him. One, he thought, Two, Three, Four and...A loud growl came out from under the four-poster. Ron was furious, and although Seamus couldn't see, he was sure the redhead's ears were turning that lovely crimson colour.

Oliver chose that moment to enter the room, and he looked livid. Seamus groaned and slapped his forehead. He had been so caught up trying to get Ron to come out that he had completely forgotten Quidditch practice! However, despite his flirtatious habits and shallow tendencies, Seamus Finnigan was a very devoted boyfriend. He was not about to leave Ron in such a state. He looked at Oliver, and as the older boy opened his mouth to speak a plan came to mind.

"Seamus, you skipped Quidditch practice this evening! What the devil is the matter with you? Don't you understand the importance of practice? You've been in a slump for weeks now and we have a big game against Ravenclaw coming up! Do I need to impress upon you again the necessity of being at every single practice? Especially when you're in a slump? I am shocked and dismayed with your behavior!" He probably would have continued for hours along this same wavelength, but just then Seamus stepped up and kissed him hard on the mouth.

After several seconds of silence, Ron spoke up. "Wood, you'd better not be snogging my boyfriend or I'll have your head on a pike, I will!" Oliver was too stunned and jelly-kneed to do much other than babble. Seamus was just that good of a kisser. The Irish boy grinned his cheeky little grin and tried again to coax Ron out from under his bed.

"Well Ronnie, I did warn you I would snog him if you didn't come out. Seems as if you ought to have taken me more seriously, doesn't it?" Silence from the redheaded monster under the bed. "Ah well then, up for another Oliver m'boy?" A gurgle from the mind-blown keeper. More kissing as Seamus lead Oliver to Ron's bed and sat him down. Ron leapt out from under the bed and pulled the two boys on his bed apart.

"Jeez, Seamus! If you're going to be kissing boys on my bed they had better be me! You, Wood; out of here now. I never want to see your slimy face again. As for you, Irish Boy, you are about to get the snog of a lifetime! Then we'll see who you like better; that pretty-boy Quidditch doll or me: a real man." Ron puffed up his chest a bit and advanced towards the boy lounging on his bed. He was just leaning in to kiss his boyfriend, when Seamus placed a hand on his chest and pushed him gently away.

"Ronnie love, normally I would be pinning you to the wall and ripping your clothing off with my teeth right now. Unfortunately, you look like absolute bloody hell and I am, as you said, rather shallow. I am therefore going to suggest we save this for after you go to Madame Pomfrey. That's alright with you, right baby? Ok good. Glad to know we're on the same page." He said all this so quickly Ron never knew what hit him. Seamus patted him on the head and skipped merrily out of the room, whistling a jolly tune all the time.

As Ron stared after him in shock, the mirror on the wall said to him "You know dear, he's right. You may want to get that skin condition looked at." The redhead glared at it, covered it with a pillowcase, and crawled back under the bed.