Harry Potter Remus Lupin
Humor Romance
Multiple Eras
Philosopher's Stone Chamber of Secrets Prizoner of Azkaban Goblet of Fire Order of the Phoenix
Published: 11/26/2003
Updated: 11/26/2003
Words: 657
Chapters: 1
Hits: 3,910

Learning to Knock


Story Summary:
Harry really ought to learn to knock, since Remus can't learn to restrain himself.

Author's Note:
I blame myself for this, but I incriminate Jenny as an accomplice. She inspired me to write a fanfic in which Harry can't seem to stop walking in on everyone's favourite werewolf in compromising positions...


It wasn't as though the house at 12 Grimmauld Place was small. In fact, it was quite huge. But most of it was empty rooms, and it was only the front part, with its central staircase and many landings, that was used for lodgings and, in one or two cases, laboratories. Not many people actually lived there; really just Harry and Sirius, and Remus most of the time.

It was like living at school, or in a small town; sooner or later you found out everything.

Harry was just glad Hermione wasn't there. After all, he knew she nursed something of a small crush on Professor Lupi -- on Remus. And although Harry would have loved someone to be there, so that they could discuss just how shocked they were, he felt as though having Ron or Moody or anyone else with him would have disturbed Sirius' privacy.

"Harry," Remus said, pushing Sirius away from him quite suddenly. Both men looked flushed, and Remus' hair was touseled, not at all in its usual neat state. "Did you ah..."

Sirius, Harry noted, was breathing heavily.

"...did you need something?" the brown-haired man continued.

Harry, eyes wide, shook his head slowly.

"Harry, this isn't what you think it is," Sirius said slowly.

"You're shagging," Harry blurted.

Remus rubbed the back of his head. "Not at the moment," he murmured. Harry saw Sirius stifle a grin.

"It's okay," Harry continued. "I mean I know all about this stuff..."

"Do you now?" Sirius asked, raising an eyebrow. Harry blushed.

"Not personally," he muttered. "I mean, I'm fine with it."

"That's...good," Sirius said slowly. "Erm."

"I'll....just be going then..." Harry backed out of the kitchen, wondering if he would ever blink again. When he was out of sight, he heard Sirius' low voice, and Remus' in reply, and a quiet, affectionate laugh that could have come from either man.

He was a little more disturbed the second time.

He wouldn't have been, if it'd still been Sirius. But it wasn't. He could quite clearly hear, through the shelves in the library, that Tonks was saying something, and Remus was replying, and then Tonks was, well, was moaning something, and Remus wasn't saying much of anything...

Still, he reckoned Sirius probably knew, since Tonks was his cousin, and if Sirius knew and was okay with it, well, it wasn't any of Harry's business, was it?

Harry decided, when he went to ask Remus if he could borrow a book and found Severus Snape asleep in his bed, with the werewolf wrapped comfortably around him, that it was time to make it his business. For Sirius' sake.

It was ironic, really, that his constant vigilance resulted in the discovery of Remus Lupin doing obscene things to Mad-Eye Moody in the sun-room.

He didn't say anything -- he was trying too hard to repress the sight.

And he was, although vigilant his Remus Watch, not expecting that if he walked in on the middle of an Order meeting between Remus and the twins, that he would find, well, Remus...and the twins.

He didn't think he'd be able to look Ron in the face for a long, long time.

"Hermione," he said, over the third or fourth butterbeer he had downed in a row, the afternoon he intruded on Remus and the twins, "I want you to do something for me."

"Yes, Harry?" she asked, looking up from her summer homework.

"If you ever see me open a door without knocking again, even if it's a bloody sliding-glass-door, I want you to say 'twins' to me, okay?"

Hermione lifted an eyebrow delicately. "Twins?"

"Yes," Harry said firmly. "Twins. And if I curl up in a foetal position, just let me lie there and shiver for a while."

Poor Hermione. After that she really should have been clued-in to the need to lock the door before asking Professor Lupin for some private tutoring.


Author notes: Jen: It's sort of tempting to write a story that's completely un-slashy in any way whatsoever and not involve Remus directly at all, then just have someone walk in on him in the midst of... something.... just for the sake of the cameo.... *snicker*
Sam: Remus, you're just a walk-on in this one...
Jen: But at least it's an entertaining part.
Sam: Now THAT would be funny; have Harry, living at Grimmauld Place, keep walking in on people with Lupin.
Jen: *knock* "All right, before I come in -- who is it this time?"
Sam: "No wonder he's so tired all the time..."