We Very, Truly, Solemnly Swear That We Are Up To No Good

THWAPP.

'OWW! What in Merlin's name was that for?!'

'What in Merlin's name was that for?!' James said in a high-pitched, mocking voice.

'What do you mean, what was that for?! You almost gave away the whole plan, right then and there!' James figured Sirius deserved another one, so he hit him in the head again with the rolled-up Marauder's Map.

'AHH! Stop doing that!' Sirius fled to the other side of the room with his arms covering his head. Peter snickered a little from his chair in the corner. 'Shut it, you,' Sirius snarled. Peter quit.

Remus went to retrieve the Map from James. 'You know, if you don't stop hitting people with that, you're going to destroy the plan.' Although that might be for the better, Remus thought. He still wasn't entirely comfortable with it.

They, the four teenage troublemakers, were back in their dormitory after Sirius was assigned yet another detention by McGonagall for causing a Hall-wide food fight at breakfast. It all started when Snape fell great, greasy nose first into a fellow Slytherin's stack of pancakes. Sirius thought it was only polite to finish the job and poured syrup over Snivelly's great, greasy head. It was surely a vast improvement upon his great, greasy hair.

(Sirius never thought of Snape without the adjectives 'great' and 'greasy'. And 'great' could not be used without 'greasy' though 'greasy' could be used without 'great'.)

There was now an uneasy silence in the room. All four boys were sitting and staring at the floor. 'Are we still going through with it, then?' Peter asked timidly. James looked up, ready to snap. 'With what?'

Peter gulped. 'Th-the plan.' He was terribly afraid of upsetting anyone.

James stood slowly and let his eyes wander the walls. Then he went to one and began banging his fist on it. When he stopped, he leaned against the enemy wall and sank to the ground with his head bowed, his hands tangled in his hair.

'Oh...what does it matter anyway...? Anytime I try to do something remotely fun at all, she gets angry with me for being immature. And when I try being nice to her and romantic and stuff, she gets suspicious and THEN gets angry with me for only ACTING like I'm mature. Tell me! How do I win? How is this fair?'

Sirius looked blank for a few seconds. This was soon replaced by annoyance. Where on earth had this little rant come from?

He exchanged a knowing glance with Remus. 'James. Look mate. We all see it. Everyone does. The whole school does. Even Wormtail here does. Right?' he jerked his head towards Peter. Peter quickly nodded in agreement.

'See?' Sirius was quite eager to get off the subject.

'See what, Sirius? What is there to see?' James said miserably.

Sirius rolled his eyes. 'She loves you! All this hating you nonsense? It's just a ploy! It's so obvious she wants you as much as you want her!'

James fished-mouthed for a few moments before finding an excuse. 'But what about all those times she's turned me in? She never did that to you! Well, as much!'

Remus grinned slyly. 'Ahem.'

Comprehension dawned, albeit slowly, on James's face. 'Oh. Oh-OHH! So THAT'S what it means!' Understanding gave way to a huge grin.

The other three boys wiped the sweat off their brows. He'd finally gotten it.

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'Hello, Peter.'

'Whauhh?!' Oh no, Peter thought, frozen in fear. It's that big Slytherin! He did say he was going to come for me...I'll just have to run for it and hope for the best...

'Wait! Peter! Where are you going? I only wanted to ask you something.' The voice definitely did not belong to a large gorilla-ish male and it was pleading with him, Peter realised. He spun around to look at his caller.

'Rebekah? H-how are you?' he stammered. He was a bit ashamed that he automatically assumed it was a bully come for revenge.

'I'm fine. But what about you? You seem sort of jumpy,' she said in her trademark innocent tones. They matched with her overall innocent look and manner. Big brown doe eyes, braids alternating with pigtails depending on the day, and the cutest rectanglular spectacles you've ever seen.

'Oh no. I'm good. Real good. Great, in fact,' he shot out. His mouth moved, but his brain was no longer functioning for any purpose. He felt his face turning red. Rebekah took no notice. Which was surprising, actually, since she had just gotten very close to him indeed. Probably why Peter was acting a zombie.

'That's wonderful,' she said. It was almost a whisper. 'Wonderful, because I want to ask you about something...'

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'Whoa, ho ho! Looky here! It's the big man himself! Proud of ya', mate.'

'...'

'Yapp...it's the curse of being a Marauder. Had to happen sooner or later.'

'Are you alright, Peter?' Remus asked worriedly. In his opinion, Peter looked badly in need of a visit to the Hospital Wing. He appeared to be in some sort of trance and was having a hard time not bouncing off of things such as walls and beds and James and Sirius.

Peter nodded in a dazed fashion and then sat on Sirius's bed, trembling slightly.

Remus turned to the other two, as they seemed to know something that he didn't. 'What happened to him? Why is he like that?' They both chuckled but Sirius managed to get out a response. 'We were at lunch while you were off chatting up Professor Whoever-' 'Whomever,' Remus corrected. 'Whatever, and anyway, we were wondering what this little 'Puff was doing eating at our table. So we, James and me-' 'James and I,' Remus snapped. 'Just let me get on with it! Sheez...Well, James and I asked her why she wasn't at her own table. And she says she was waiting for Peter. So we laughed, of course, and told her how he hasn't been eating at the same time as us because he's trying to stay on his diet.' This was interrupted by more chuckles on the part of P-and-P. James picked up the story here, as Sirius was uncapable of speech at the moment.

' "But he just went down that hall, and if you hurry, you can probably catch up to him,"we told her. And she shot off like it was something important, so we logically had to follow her. Luckily, I had my Invisibility Cloak on hand.' When do you not?, Remus thought. 'When we saw them they were just talking and then out of the blue, she kisses him!' James makes wild hand motions like it's helping him to explain anything. 'Then she asks him if he wants to go to Hogsmeade with her on the next trip!' He shook his head as if the very notion was mad, but still managed to look slightly proud. Sirius added pityingly, 'Think it's his first date. He's been acting a bit funny ever since.'

James and Sirius glanced at each other and then ran to fetch pillows to stifle the oncoming laughter pandemic. Peter stared off into space with a strange grin as Remus hurriedly turned to face the other way; he couldn't hold in his own huge smile and laugh any longer. And it just wouldn't do to have Peter see all of his best mates chortling at his very first kiss that didn't come from his mother.

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