Being a Weasley

Ron

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When I was first born, my mom and dad had hoped for a little girl. Of course, I was not a little girl, but yet another male, the fifth boy to be born actually. Of course, they were happy, but they were disappointed.

That's what I've been doing my whole life, disappointing people. My brother, Bill, he's rich and married - the perfect boy they were hoping for. I'm anything but rich, with no potential for any job because I'm too busy with trying to save the world.

Charlie, he was an amazing Quidditch player, and I'm nothing but a mediocre Keeper. I can't play to save my life and only on occasion will I actually stop the ball, most of those times are complete accidents.

Percy. Well, Percy was a Prefect, Percy was head boy. Percy works at the Ministry with dad. Well, Percy is also an ass. I guess I could be grateful for not being like him at least. I was Head Boy, but it was very unlikely I'd be made Prefect, and I wasn't a good Head Boy at that, the only reason I did any of my duties was because of Hermione.

Fred and George, they're funny and charming and now have a wonderful joke shop where they're making loads of cash. I'm definitely not the most amusing bloke on this planet.

Even Ginny, the little sister my parents were hoping for all those years ago, even she is better than me. She's a wonderful spell caster and a brilliant Seeker.

I'm just a shadow. I'm the unwanted little boy.

I try not to feel like this most of the time, but I always end up thinking it no matter what.

I've never stood out in the crowd, and my best friend Harry, Harry Potter actually, takes up all the glory I would ever need.

I don't hate Harry, but I envy him. Envy him for how he doesn't have to try. Envy him for how he can fit in so easily.

Being a Weasley has never been easy for me. And as I ponder my feelings for her, I wonder if I can bring her into this world of insanity.

The girl I speak of, is the girl everyone knows I love. Hermione Granger.

The truth is, I've never told her I've loved her before. Never had enough strength or courage. But now we're risking our lives, today could possible be the day we turn up dead. I feel I must tell her, in case I fail to have time later.

But the question I ask myself is: How can she look at me and love me?

I am a nobody. I'm poor. I can offer her nothing but me, and clearly that's not a lot to offer. At least when she was with Victor Krum she had something. She had his money, his charm.

Why couldn't she be happy with him?

I laugh at myself, wondering why I want her to be happy with someone else. It's only because I want her to be happy, and I can't see her being that with me.

Harry tells me all the time to 'just tell her already', so I tell him to go ask Ginny back out. But he won't. He just gets grim and changes the subject.

The truth is, I don't know what is going on in any of my sibling's lives. It's a complete mystery to me. I wonder if they feel the same way I do. I wonder where everyone is with their lives.

Maybe we're all just afraid. Afraid that the end is coming. You-Know-Who is going to kill us all, and then our whole lives are just going to end up being pointless pieces of existence.

Maybe I should tell her. Tell her I love her.

What else can I loose but my dignity? After all, I believe I lost that a long time back.

I can only hope that I will survive this, and I will turn out to be one of the heroes. Then Hermione can look at me, and know that I love her and she can love me too. Till that day though, I am nothing but a side-kick, and the side-kicks don't get the ladies, because the heroes get them first.

I can't lose her. And I know I can't loose myself in this. But keeping strong is a lot harder then it sounds.

If I tell her, I have to tell her it's forever, because it is. I will always love her forever, no matter how she feels about me.

I should tell her now, in the middle of the battle against You-Know-Who.

We are fighting for our lives. Fighting for our love that is still unknown to her, but secretly I think she knows. I think my eyes give it away.

I've fended off the crazed men, hooded and wretched. But I can't find Hermione.

I call out her name, but there is no reply.

I look around, and I see my siblings fighting for their lives around me, and I see my parents fighting together still so very much in love. And I see Harry, stronger then ever, standing up to You-Know-Who, and I've never seen him look so certain before, You-Know-Who is going to die.

But I still can't find her.

I look widely around, and then I hear her gasp, and I see her body lying on the cold damp grass. I run to her side, and I see blood everywhere, and I know it is hers.

She looks up at me, her eyes wide and pained, and I kiss her gently, whispering what I should have said before.

"I love you, Hermione," I say to her. "I'll always love you, from now until forever."

And her eyes close and I'm frightened this is the end, her blood is all over my hands. This can't be it!

"Wake up!"

Her eyes open again and she smiles weakly and she tells me she loves me too, forever and always. And she tells me she's sorry that's she's not stronger.

"No, you're strong," I tell her. "So strong. Stay with me."

She coughs up blood, but she's still alive. She's barely alive and she's fading fast.

"Someone, help!" I shout to the crowd.

And I hold her hand, and hope, and pray, and cry. I can't lose her. I won't lose the love of my life.

"Stay with me," I tell her.

And she says she'll try.

I hear movement beside me, and a figure in white robes bends down next to my love, they whisper something silently. And my Hermione's wound is healed. She coughs again, and she throws her arms around the stranger in thanks. The stranger sets her down and turns to me.

"Get her out," the stranger says, and then goes back into battle.

I pull her into an embrace all too happy to follow the stranger's orders.

She whispers my name into my ear. "I'm okay."

I smile softly and kiss the side of her head. "Yes, and I won't let anything happen to you."

I rush her out of that field, out of that battle, and I hold her close by the waters edge. But she's looking at me with eyes too huge to wipe herself clean of her blood.

"'Mione, everything is fine now."

She nods and blinks back tears. "You saved me."

"I didn't," I tell her. That stranger saved her, not me.

But she doesn't listen.

"I love you," she says. And she throws me into a passionate kiss, and she tells me I'm her savior, her hero, her love. And she will never leave me.

She tells me these things, and I will believe them, because she tells me. I am what I have always wanted to be. For in her eyes, I am truly a hero and not some shadow. I'm not just some Weasley, but I am the Weasley she loves, and that is enough for me.