The Dream of One Night

CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

Severus

I saw Avrille sitting in a chair in the room above the tavern of the Hog's Head, Lucius Malfoy slowly leaning into her and bringing his lips within a hair's breadth of hers. I mentally scoffed at the Revenant for thinking this would upset me. After all, I knew that in a moment Avrille would fight off the Imperius curse and give Lucius a taste of her own powers. Yes, any second now...

But instead, I saw Avrille thread her fingers through Lucius' sleek blonde hair and press her mouth hungrily against his.

No, this is not what happened... I told myself.

Are you sure? The Revenant goaded me, gleefully, This is what you feared happened... How can you be sure she didn't lie to you?

Avrille stood up suddenly and wrapped her arms around Lucius, tipping her head back, her hair cascading backwards, so Lucius run his lips over her neck. He slid effortlessly out of his business robes, and, as he pressed her forcefully against him, Avrille made to hurriedly rid him of his expensively tailored waistcoat and silk shirt as well. After running her fingertips down Lucius' bare chest, Avrille took him by the hand and led him slowly to the bed in the far corner of the room...

No! I inwardly screamed. She would not have done this!

I heard the Revenant's rattling, hissing laugh as it forced me to watch their passionate coupling.

Suddenly it was weeks later. I was seated with Avrille on the sofa in my parlour. In her hair Avrille still wore the lacquered combs I had presented her earlier that day for Christmas. She held my hand tightly in hers as I refused to even meet her eyes, afraid of what I would see there after I uttered my next sentence.

"I... used to be a Death Eater."

I knew what had happened next: Avrille had accepted the shames of my past without question and reassured me of her continuing love.

But... certainly she had not pulled her hand away suddenly?

I looked up to the sight of tears running down her face, normally so fair and pale, now coloured with angry red blotches.

"Why did you never tell me this?!" she exclaimed, holding her hand protectively in the other as though mine had contaminated it with some disease. "You've been lying to me all this time!"

"No!" I hurried to explain myself. "I didn't lie... I just didn't know you well enough to reveal my past yet. But, I'm not that man anymore, I've changed!" I reached to take her into my arms. I knew that with my touch I could convince her of my sincerest remorse.

Avrille jumped up and backed away from me slightly, her whole body shaking with rage. "You willingly entered into the service of the Dark Lord, became one of his most trusted followers! It was because of him that my father was murdered and my life torn apart!"

"Avrille, please!" I begged, standing up as well to place my hands on her shoulders. Somehow I had to make her see reason...

"Get away from me!" Avrille screamed and slapped me across the face. "You're evil! I never want to see you again!"

She ran from the room crying and slammed the door behind her like a clap of judgmental thunder.

I quickly ran to the door to go after her, but upon passing through it, I found I was walking through the door into the formal sitting room of my childhood home. Though I felt like I was my current age, I saw my mother sitting on a sofa next to Avrille, who was smiling brightly. I thought she must have come back to forgive me.

"Severus, there you are!" my mother said, holding out a hand towards me. I walked over and took it, unable to believe that I was somehow here with the two women I loved most in the world, at the same time. "Avrille has the most wonderful news to tell you!" Mother turned to look expectantly at her.

Avrille stared up at me, her eyes shining with joy, and announced, "James Potter asked me to marry him yesterday!"

"No," I murmured. "That isn't right... Lily married James..."

Avrille's face turned stormy. "How can you say such a thing, Severus, when you know perfectly well James and I have been madly in love since we first saw each other?!"

"Really, you do say the strangest things," Mother added, taking my hand and patting it in a concerned fashion.

Pulling my hand free, I fell to my knees before Avrille. "But, I love you... and you told me you loved me as well."

Avrille threw her beautiful head back and laughed derisively. "Love you? How could I ever love a Death Eater? James is an Auror and risks his life daily to put scum like you away where you can't hurt anyone. James is more of a man than you could ever hope to be. You, who sneak around behind everyone's back, saying that you're doing it for the Order of the Phoenix, when everyone knows it's only because you're too much of a coward to join them openly! You're just waiting to see what side wins so you can cast your lot in with them at the end!"

"That's not true!" I said, my voice rising even though I was trying desperately to control myself. Avrille knew me, she knew that wasn't the truth... How could she say these things to me?!

"Yes, it is, Severus. You know perfectly well all of this is true. You really expected me to fall in love with you instead? That's just so pathetic!" Avrille continued to laugh and my mother joined in with her. Unable to stand their cruelty, I stalked out of the parlour and down the corridor. However, my progress was blocked by an enormous shadow that stepped out of another room into my path.

"Severus!" my father roared. "Look what you have done!" He grabbed me by my collar and flung me into the room he had just exited. In the centre of it, on a table, my mother lay dead, dressed in black and holding a single white lily in her cold, clasped hands.

"But, she was fine just a moment ago..." I muttered.

"This is your doing! You left her behind when you went to Rome to pursue your own selfish desires. If you had stayed behind and done your duty as a son, this never could have happened!" My father threw me to the floor and kicked me roughly in the ribs. Looking up through streaming eyes, I saw that the figure on the table had turned into Lily Evans, her long red hair hanging off of the edge and dripping blood into a round, crimson pool on the wooden floor...

"Severus... you must stay strong. Avrille is coming for you. You must believe in her, Severus!"

My mother's voice cut gently into the torturous visions like a white clipper ship through pure blue ocean waves. But how could she be talking to me when I had just seen her dead in front of me? And Avrille... Avrille hated me now. No one was coming for me. I was utterly alone.