The Dream of One Night

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

Avrille

I let my body sag limply against Severus as he held me. I was exhausted, though I knew nowhere near as much as he had been the night before. He had done so much for me, and I didn't know how I could ever repay him. I let Severus lead me back over to the couch where I lay down and rested my head on his lap. I was so drained that I fell asleep almost instantly.

I awoke in the late evening, still in the same position. Although I had been so tired I doubt I would have noticed if he had left, Severus had not moved. He was slowly stroking my hair as he read a book he had undoubtedly Summoned over to pass the time. He placed it down on a side table when he noticed that I was awake.

"How do you feel?" he asked quietly.

"I'm not sure," I replied honestly and sat up. I was certain my magic had fully returned to me, but I couldn't exactly explain how. It was like knowing my heart was beating or that my lungs were breathing; it was just something I could instinctually feel inside of me.

"I want to try some magic," I said suddenly and stood up. Severus raised an eyebrow but said nothing to stop me.

I reached into a pocket and pulled out my wand. In a flash of optimism before coming down to Severus' rooms, I had decided to bring it along with me in case we were actually able to "fix" me. Now I held it aloft, determined to finally conquer the one spell I had ever been able to consciously produce.

With a slight reservation, I whispered, "Lumos."

I physically fell backwards onto the couch once more as the sitting room, normally illuminated with only the fire and a few candles, was flooded with the blazing light of a supernova, completely blinding me.

With panicked instinct, I thought, Nox Nox Nox! and the light vanished back into my wand. I let out a deep breath as white and green blotches danced in front of my eyes, not sure whether to be more astounded by the power of the spell or the fact that I had been able to stop it nonverbally. I turned to look at Severus who, of course, had not even moved a muscle in surprise and was now stroking his chin thoughtfully.

"Quite impressive," he murmured, and I saw that he had that look on his face; the look of calculating curiosity.

"Severus..." I said with a teasing warning tone.

"What?" he asked in wide-eyed innocence.

"You were just wondering if it would be possible to make it even brighter, weren't you?"

He looked affronted at the mere suggestion. "No, of course not." I gave him a look of my own. "Well... perhaps. A bit," he conceded.

I smiled and shook my head. It was because of his interest in always pushing the boundaries just a little further that he was such a brilliant potion-maker and writer. I, on the other hand, was much more interested in making what I already had useful. A light that is so bright it blinds you was almost worse than being without a light at all.

"In all seriousness, though," Severus said, "I think we should probably continue meeting several times a week as we have been, though now to work on your magic."

"Yes," I said vehemently. "I want to learn how to do everything. I have years of spells to catch up on."

Severus regarded me for a moment before saying, "Somehow I don't think that's necessarily true."

"Why not?" I asked.

Severus raised a finger then stood up. "I want you to try something for me." He picked up his book once more then walked across the room to the far wall which was covered completely by bookshelves. He replaced the book in a seemingly random row almost in the dead center of the wall. He took out his wand and came back to sit next to me.

"You see that book?" he asked. I nodded. It was easily noticeable since the book had a red spine and it interrupted a running set of black volumes where he had shelved it. "I want you to Summon it over here," he said simply.

"Why did you take out your wand?" I asked.

"No particular reason... Go ahead and Summon it."

I shook my head, feeling stupid. "But I don't know how," I insisted.

"Yes, you do," Severus said patiently. "Just concentrate on willing that book from where it is into your hand."

I took a deep breath and raised my wand. Hardening my gaze, I focused in on the red spine and willed it to come to me. I saw the book tremble and slide just an inch out of the shelf before the contents of the entire wall--books, paintings, lighting fixtures, everything--came flying directly at me. Only Severus' lightning-fast Shielding Charm kept the two of us from being pulverized. The books and other objects crashed against the shield, thousands of pages ripping loose from the impact of the collision. Severus removed the shield as I stared open-mouthed at the paper apocalypse surrounding us.

"I suppose you were expecting that," I remarked, shaking slightly, turning to look at Severus who had a quite unexpected expression upon his face for one who had just seen most of his worldly possessions demolished. He looked almost satisfied.

"I had an feeling," he replied with a half-smile. With a few sets of sweeping gestures with his wand, Severus repaired all of the destroyed books then sent everything flying back slowly and orderly onto the shelves. After a minute it looked like nothing had ever happened.

"I want you to try again," Severus said, "only this time while you focus on Summoning the book, concentrate also on keeping everything else where it is."

I took a deep breath and raised my wand once more. I closed my eyes and tried to imagine a giant hand pressing against the far wall with two fingers spread apart to make an opening to allow the book through. Trying to keep the feeling behind the mental picture, I opened my eyes and tried the Summoning Charm once more. This time only the red book and the books on that shelf came zooming at me before being deflected by Severus' shield once more. The rest of the books and wall hangings shuddered for a moment but stayed put.

"I hope this is showing you that you have little to 'catch up on'," Severus said as he levitated the books back to their places again. He then put down his wand and turned to face me. "Memorizing incantations and wand movements is simply a way of giving children who are new to magic and untrained in their mental concentration something concrete to focus on. Those who have more talent are able to then progress to invoking the spells nonverbally. The most powerful, like you and me, can eventually perform spells by simply directing the magic to find the most natural solution to a problem. However, while I had to study and practice for years to be able to do this, it appears you have always been able to do it naturally.

"The problem for you is that you have so much raw power, you are going to have to somehow corral it so you accomplish only what you want."

"I only have my magic back for one day, and I already have to try to block it again," I said.

Severus thought for a moment, trying to find the best words to express what he was thinking. He finally said, "It's not so much blocking it as it is focusing it. The Lumos spell is a good metaphor; instead of allowing your magic to explode like the light of the sun, you need to concentrate it into a single, searing ray."

"I suppose that makes sense," I said. I let myself fall back against the couch and covered my eyes, still stinging slightly from the bright light, with my hands. Even though I had napped a little, I still felt like I had run ten miles earlier in the day. My brain ached from trying to sort through all of the memories that had come flooding back. I felt Severus put his arm around me, and I flopped over to rest my head on his shoulder. He seemed to know instinctually how overwhelmed I was feeling.

"You don't have to rush anything," he said. "You have always managed fine without magic, so what you will be able to do from now on is just a bonus. You have the rest of your life to master your power."

I nodded, thinking how much I hoped he would be right there beside me for the rest of my life to guide me through it all. Though I knew Severus was itching to have me try some more magic for him, he knew how tired I was and didn't ask me to do anything else. He Summoned his book back over one more time and read while I leaned against his chest and listened to his heartbeat. I couldn't believe that it had only been twenty-four hours since Severus had put me to sleep for the Passive Legilimency. It seemed weeks ago. And I was so tired...

Finally making myself face the fact that I needed to get started on a full night's uninterrupted sleep, I sat up and told Severus I was going to bed.

"Will you be alright alone? Do you want to stay here?" he asked.

As much as I wanted to, I forced myself to decline. I knew that after what he went through the night before, Severus could also do with another decent night of rest, which he probably wouldn't get on the couch. So, giving Severus one more, quite long kiss, I stepped into the Floo and returned to my own rooms.

Caligula had been sleeping on the warm hearthstones and leapt several feet vertically into the air when I almost trod on his tail exiting the fireplace. I bent over to scratch his head in apology, but as I reached out my hand, Caligula suddenly splayed his feet with his stomach pressed against the rug. His tail puffed up like a bottlebrush, and I could hear a growl rivalling the grinding of tectonic plates rumbling in the back of his throat. I dropped my hand and sank to my knees. It seemed that with the restoration of my magic, my cat no longer recognized me. With a backwards scuttle that would have been comical in different circumstances, Caligula retreated to under the couch where he could still watch me with beady eyes but have some protection over his head.

For a moment I felt like crying, but then I realized I was sick and tired of crying. Instead I became angry. Without even pulling out my wand, I reached out with my hands and Summoned Caligula to me. With a cut-off yelp, he skidded across the carpet and into my grasp. Scruffing him with one hand and holding his face in the other, I glared into Caligula's crossed blue eyes, shining red at the moment in the firelight.

"Bad boy! I am your mother and you will love me!" I growled at him. Caligula grumbled a little but sheathed his claws. I put him down, and he waltzed away with his tail held high, made a circuit around the sofa, then came back and sat in my lap as though it had been entirely his own idea. However, he did not grace me with a purr and instead began to wash his face lavishly, letting me know that he understood, but he was still a cat with a reputation to uphold. I ran my hand over his fur, tossing the loose fuzz balls into the fire behind me, glad that we had sorted that out.

The next day I spent with Severus trying to start to get a grip on my powers. He walked me through some mental exercises he had used to do when he was younger and studying Occlumency and Legilimency. They were mainly things like trying to maintain my concentration on an easy spell while Severus tried to distract me. However, I thought this was rather unfair because I highly doubted that Severus had had to try and keep an expensive vase levitating six feet off of the floor while his teacher ran a finger seductively down the back of his neck. I almost challenged Severus to see if he could do it while I tried to distract him in such a way, but decided against it since it would just be depressing if he managed with no problem.

Severus also expressed his wish to begin teaching me Occlumency itself, since now that I had access to such painful and powerful memories, it would be easy for an enemy to use them against me. I didn't exactly know who would ever attack me in such a way, but Severus was just that sort of person who assumed the worst was always possible. It definitely took me a while to get used to the sensation of having to repel Severus from my mind when I had become so used to his additional presence inside my head. Eventually I got the hang of it to the point where Severus was satisfied enough to focus our attention on something else.

The rest of February and the beginning of March passed so quickly. Both Severus and I were more busy than ever with school work. Exams for the fifth and seventh year students were looming ever closer, and Severus was often stuck in his office until almost midnight grading all of the extra work he assigned to help prepare them for their tests in a few months' time. Since, as a lowly apprentice, I wasn't supposed to grade the work of such "advanced" students, I had to be content with simply keeping Severus company while he worked and making sure that he had a steady stream of coffee and tea at his disposal. He hated how all of the extra work cut into our time alone together, but I understood how high his standards for his students were. The better they performed on their exams, the better it would reflect on him as a teacher.

Halfway through March it was time for Family Weekend. This was a time when the parents of students could visit the school if they wished and hold conferences with the teachers if they had any questions about their children's progress before the final term and exams. Almost all of the students had at least one relative visit them, so both Severus and Professor Sprout were booked solid with conferences which could only last a few minutes due to the amount of parents who requested them. This was an area again in which I was unable to help, so I tried to stay out of everyone's way, which was rather difficult since the castle was swarming with about three times more people than normal. Severus told me earlier in the week that even more parents had written and requested appointments with him than usual, since the attacks earlier in the school year had caused so much apprehension. Fortunately, there still had not been an attack since the one before Christmas, so everyone's worry was slightly alleviated.

Sunday morning, Severus had even more appointments, so I doubted I would see him at all. I had barely spoken two words to him all weekend. Whenever I saw him, he was perpetually surrounded by a dozen parents dogging him with questions about their children. I knew it was part of his duty as a Head of House, but it still annoyed me since Severus had mentioned that he thought me ready to start to learn Apparation, and I was dying to try it out.

Since I had slept in and eaten a late breakfast in my room, I wasn't hungry enough at lunchtime to join everyone else in the Great Hall. I also think I subconsciously wanted to avoid the place where so many happy children would be with their mothers and fathers. Since it was the first sunny day in a long time, I decided to go stretch my legs and take in some fresh mountain air.

I left the castle behind me and followed the winding, student-created path down to the lake. While a pale sun was managing to cast its weak rays across the grounds, it was quite cold with winter still hanging on tenaciously to its last days before giving way to spring. The air was thick with the clean smell of ice dripping from crisp pine needles. Melting snow, thick and blue-grey, covered the muddy grass, though it was mostly dimpled and sagging into hollow pockets. A few rogue shoots of green grass could be seen here and there slicing determinedly through the crackly glazed layer of refrozen ice. The path to the lake was thick with mud and slush from students traipsing down all weekend to show their parents the magnificent view. However, the lake shore seemed completely empty at the moment, and I enjoyed the echoing silence around me.

As I turned the last bend around a small copse of beech trees, I found the shore was not empty like I had assumed since I almost trod on Draco Malfoy. He had been sitting against one of the larger beech trees, looking at a book which he quickly hid behind him as though he didn't want to be caught dead doing something so completely uncool as reading. However, when he saw it was me and not another student, he slowly brought the book back out and placed it on his lap.

"Good afternoon, Mistress Asphodel," he said quietly, his pale face just a little pink in the cheeks from being startled. He had melted the snow around him and was sitting on a dry patch of decayed golden leaves.

"Why aren't you at the feast, Draco? I thought you would be showing your parents around," I said. I took out my wand and copied Draco's example, melting a circle of snow under a tree a few feet away from him, then drying the ground beneath. I sat and leaned against the smooth silver bark of the beech.

"They didn't come," he muttered. Then, to try and cover up the tone of slight disappointment, he added in a more lofty voice, "That is, my marks are so good that Professor Snape didn't need to speak to them about me!"

"I suppose that's a good problem to have," I commented, pulling my knees up to my chest to preserve body heat. A shrill wind whipped off the choppy surface of the lake and seemed to go straight through my cloak.

"Besides," Draco added, "They both went to school here, so it's not like there's anything new for them to see."

I nodded silently, watching Draco out of the corner of my eye. He seemed to be saying these things more for his own benefit than mine. In a twisted way, I was actually disappointed the Malfoys hadn't shown up. Loath though I was to ever see Lucius again, I had been interested to catch a glimpse of his wife and see for myself what sort of woman could stand being married to him.

Draco opened up his book once more, but flipped through it distractedly instead of actually reading. I could see from where I sat it was his Potions textbook, and for some reason that surprised me. I knew from grading his papers with Severus that Draco was a good student, but it was weird seeing him out here studying instead of picking on whatever first year he could find smaller than himself. Though, now that I thought about it, I had probably only seen him bully a younger student only a few times the whole year. For some reason those instances filled up my recollections of him, and it suddenly dawned on me that I was just as prejudiced against Draco as Severus was against Harry Potter.

It always bothered me how hard Severus was on Harry, especially after telling me that he used to be friends with Harry's mother. I was of the opinion that whatever James Potter had done to Severus in the past to warrant such dislike from even beyond the grave, it was still no excuse to be so hard on Harry who, after all, had never even known his father. But here I was doing exactly the same thing. Because of what Lucius had done to me earlier in the year, I found myself ignoring Draco in class or thinking mean thoughts about him when he had never been anything but polite and respectful to me.

As Draco continued to finger through his textbook, I forced myself to look at him with complete objectivity. It was true that he greatly resembled his father and would probably be very handsome when he grew up. But whereas Lucius was confident and sleek with the poise of a lion, Draco was only ever confident when he had two or more cronies backing him up. Here alone I noticed for the first time how small he was, and reminded myself that he was only twelve, still a child. Though he was not frail, Draco certainly did not look altogether happy and healthy. His posture was hunched and defensive as he leaned over his book as though to block it from view from anyone else coming around the path unexpectedly.

Something about the way his fingers moved over the pages suddenly reminded me of Severus, and I thought how easily this could have been him years ago, hiding away from the commotion of the castle. Though he never spoke about it, I knew Severus had not had a happy childhood. I assumed he had not gotten along with his father since I had never heard Severus mention him once. I also had a feeling that, like Draco, Severus had come from a family with at least some money. Now looking at Draco, with his slight frame and Slytherin robes, it was so easy to mentally switch his short blonde hair for black that fell into his eyes and obscured his face. I came to the realization that, instead of disliking Draco, I felt immense pity for him.

Guessing my presence was interrupting Draco's need for face-saving solitude, I stood once more, said goodbye to him, and walked back up the path to the castle. Lunch had just ended, so scores of parents and students were flowing from the enormous doorway of the Great Hall. Completely swept up in the tide and unable to escape, I was quickly snared by various students who wanted to introduce me to their parents. These were mostly first and second years who were still young enough to think teachers were like celebrities. Little Nan Cobble of Hufflepuff grabbed hold of my sleeve and positively dragged me over to meet her parents, a very amiable, though slightly harried-looking, Muggle couple. Nan had just finished telling her parents that I was from "Ca-NAY-da," when she spotted Luna Lovegood and ran off to reel in her friend as well. Mrs. Cobble gave me a good-natured wink before excusing herself and pulling her exhausted husband after their daughter.

While wishing I was proficient at Disillusionment Charms, I slowly made my constantly interrupted way to the staircase. Finally I was able to sprint up the stairs and into my own rooms where I remained for the rest of the day, too exhausted to risk another venturing out.

Later that week, spring finally came to Hogwarts, though only in the technical sense; the winds off the lake were still as fierce and cold as ever. On the first of April, we were all unpleasantly surprised by an April Fool's snow shower which was so intense all lessons occurring outside of the castle were cancelled. Since that meant my Herbology observation of the day had been cancelled as well, I spent my free period upstairs in my room, staring out of the window; not that I could see much of anything besides solid white, of course.

I was trying to write a letter to my mother, but it was very slow going. Caligula was trying to eat my quill as I wrote, but the main reason was that over the past few months it had become more and more difficult to find things to say. I had not yet told my mom about Severus, thinking that was something she should hear directly from me in person. I knew if she read about it in a letter, she wouldn't understand properly and think I was simply infatuated with him since I had been so obsessed with his writing in graduate school.

Not telling my mom about Severus meant I also couldn't tell her about my magic returning to me. There was no way to explain how that had come about without mentioning Severus' key role, so I was putting off that announcement as well. Maybe once my apprenticeship was over, I could visit home and surprise Mom by Apparating into the house, that is, assuming I could get the hang of it by then. Severus had begun trying to teach me the previous weekend, and it had not gone well.

Finally scribbling off something having to do with the weather and Caligula's amazing talent of finding numerous mice within the confines of my apartment to kill and leave half-eaten at the foot of my bed, I sealed the letter. I then put it aside to mail on Saturday, since Severus and I would most likely be going down to Hogsmeade again for Apparation lessons. Because it was impossible to Apparate within the Hogwarts grounds (though, of course, house-elves were able to somehow), I had met Severus on the outskirts of Hogsmeade last weekend to work on the skill. Since it was not a student-weekend, the area around the Shrieking Shack was guaranteed to be deserted, and that was where we practiced. However, no matter how many times Severus explained the process, demonstrating vanishing to and from the Shrieking Shack numerous times in front of me, I could not make myself move an inch, except downwards when turning on the spot happened to be on a patch of ice, and I fell on my rear.

...Which was still sore, incidentally. I stood up from my writing desk and dove headfirst onto my bed. The movement made the parcel that had been laying on the silken duvet slide off and thump onto the floor. In the box was my birthday present from my mom, its arrival reminding me that it had been a while since I had written to her. I sighed and rolled onto my back. My birthday was in three days, and I doubted Severus would know about it. After all, I had no idea when his birthday was. It didn't seem right to mention to him, "Hey, Severus, my birthday is on Sunday..." cause that would make him think he had to rush and get me a present. Presents were nice, of course, but I simply wanted him to know about it and without making him feel obligated to do anything. Well, at least I was bound to be spending the day with him, so that would have to be enough for now.

By Saturday morning, most of the freak blizzard's snow had melted, leaving the grounds outside of the castle treacherously slick and muddy; I would not have been at all surprised if Hagrid' hut had slid straight down into the lake. A few of the Muggle-born students had somehow come across a soccer ball and were already completely brown from head to foot five minutes into their game.

Severus had asked me to come down to his room after breakfast to go to Hogsmeade for another Apparation lesson. I dressed in rather shabby clothes, knowing that in all likelihood I would end up on my butt again from failed attempts and probably a few times simply walking down to the village. As I stepped out of the Floo into his parlour, I saw Severus looking strikingly handsome like always. I don't think he had ever owned a pair of "shabby" clothes in his life.

"Are you ready?" he asked as he pulled on a light cloak.

"Yes," I replied, "but aren't we going separately like last week?" Still concerned with the fact that the two of us walking to Hogsmeade together might look suspicious, Severus had made his way down to the village a whole hour before me last time.

"No, we're taking the Floo. It will be much quicker. I connected my fireplace to the one in the Shrieking Shack."

"Don't you need a permit or something to do that? Won't you get in trouble with the Ministry?"

Severus scoffed. "Maybe fifteen years ago during the height of the Dark Lord's power, but no one cares now. Anyway, I have an old acquaintance in the Department of Magical Transportation, so he would cover me in the unlikely event anything arose. I'll go first, shall I?"

Severus threw a handful of Floo powder into the fire, then stepped inside the green flames. After stating clearly, "The Shrieking Shack," he vanished in a dizzying swirl of lime fire and black cloak. Since the fireplace didn't spit him out or anything, I assumed it was safe and followed suit. I was momentarily sightless as I went from the bright green light into the almost complete darkness of the Shack. Severus caught me as I stumbled blindly out onto the dusty floor. In an instant he had his wand lit dimly so we could see our surroundings. Very little had changed since our last visit to the Shack the night of our first kiss. There might have been a few more rats' nests tucked away in the corners, but I had really been too distracted last time to take a complete inventory.

"Now," Severus said once I had my bearings again, "I thought that since we had some difficulty last week, we should try Side-Along-Apparation down to the bottom of the hill. I will be completely controlling the spell, and you will come with me as a sort of passenger. I thought maybe if you knew what the sensation of Apparation was like, then it might help you with the spell."

I nodded, knowing that whatever he thought was probably the best since I had no idea what I was doing.

"If you're ready, then just take my arm," Severus said, shaking his cloak back over his shoulder. I reached out and took hold of his left forearm, but Severus abruptly jerked it away from me.

"What's the matter? Is your arm hurt?" I asked

"Oh... it's nothing. You might just want to hold on higher up," Severus said, looking slightly unnerved for a moment, but offered his arm once more. Wondering what that was about, I took hold of his bicep instead.

"Holding on tightly? Good. After three now," Severus said. On the count of three, I felt Severus' arm pull away from me once more, but this time my whole body followed as well. My vision went pitch black, and every piece of me felt unbearably squeezed as though someone was trying to force me down the drain of my bathroom sink. Then, as soon as it had happened, the pressure vanished. I found myself blinded once more, this time with the bright shock of noon sunshine. I gulped down breaths of fresh forest air and rubbed at my ears which were buzzing as though full of bees.

"Are you alright?" Severus asked, putting his arm around me.

"Maybe..." I replied, honestly not sure.

"You do get used to it," he said.

"God, I hope so."

Severus smiled then backed off to give me some breathing room. As he paced slowly back and forth, I took mental inventory of all of my extremities and was actually surprised they were all there.

After giving me a minute, Severus asked, "Are you ready to try for yourself again?"

I nodded determinedly. "Yes. As horrible as that feels, it still beats an eight hour flight in an airplane packed with cranky Muggles."

With that, Severus repeated his instructions from last week. I was to focus completely on where I wanted to go and put the force of my will behind it. Then, I was to step forward and turn with the utmost purpose into the space I wished to occupy, which for the moment was supposed to be the top of the hill just outside the Shack.

I tried and I tried and I tried but to no avail. The only way I was getting closer to the Shack was by each single footstep forward I took as I tried to turn and Disapparate. Severus was silent during my efforts, watching me with crossed arms and narrowed eyes, which I knew only meant that he was concentrating but still made me feel like I was disappointing him.

After a few more failed attempts, I was starting to get tired and sore from constantly falling over after my more zealous tries. No matter how Severus tried to coach me, I simply could not copy that feeling of purposeful compression I had felt when Apparating beside him.

"I just don't understand," Severus finally said as he shook his head slightly. "You've had no problems at all with everything else I've been teaching you. I know it's probably ridiculous to ask, but do you have any idea why you wouldn't want to travel like this?"

"No," I said, "Except, of course, that I wouldn't want to do any traveling that took me away from you." I had meant this as sort of a flirtatious joke since I was pretty much fed up with practicing. I was more than ready to just go back to the castle with him and spend a few hours relaxing in his arms while nursing my wounded pride with a hot cup of cocoa.

However, Severus raised an eyebrow and said simply, "Fine, then. Follow me."

He Disapparated.

I looked wildly around me and up at the hillside where he had always appeared before, but he was nowhere that I could see. What the hell? I thought and tapped a foot impatiently. How was I supposed to follow him when I didn't know where he had gone and couldn't Apparate there even if I did?

Long minutes passed, and Severus didn't return. I was starting to feel lonely and vulnerable out here all alone. Now more than ever I wanted to be in his safe, warm parlour, maybe just lying next to him on the couch as he read aloud to me like he had the night before. Finally realizing I could be out here for hours before Severus decided I had "tried" long enough, I closed my eyes and forced myself to focus.

Since my power had returned, whenever I was around Severus or another extremely powerful wizard like Professor Dumbledore, I could sense their signature magic when they were near me. I had become so used to feeling Severus' magic that it was now as familiar to me as the sound of his voice or the scent of his cologne. Though it had been probably over ten minutes since Severus Disapparated, I could still feel a trace of his magic left in the air. I held out my hands and gathered the faint vapours of his magic to me. I could feel them between my palms like the warmth of cupping a single lit match. While concentrating on how his magic felt, I let the desire to be with him fill me up, which wasn't exactly difficult. Finally, when I thought I would flip out if I didn't see him instantly, I cast my thoughts of him and the remaining trace of his magic out in front of me and took a confident step forward.

I was so surprised when my foot did not immediately touch the ground that, by the time I registered the familiar compressed feeling of the Apparation spell, it was already over. Instead I felt warm, strong arms catch me as my magical sixth sense was once more flooded with the intoxicating presence of Severus.

"You did it!" he exclaimed and pulled me to him.

"Of course I did!" I said, turning my face away peevishly as he tried to kiss me. I playfully smacked him on the shoulder. "And just how long were you planning on leaving me there alone?"

"I wasn't 'planning' on anything. I knew you would figure it out."

Severus' guileless faith in me melted the little bit of half-hearted resentment I had been harbouring, and I let him kiss me. Then I looked around to see where we were. We appeared to be on a dreary, wasted heath with nothing but endless grass and hedges in sight.

"Where are we?" I asked.

"A few dozen leagues from Hogwarts. I just went somewhere random," Severus replied. "Do you think you can take us back now?"

I took a deep breath. "If you guide me, I think I can manage it." Severus took hold of my arm this time while I pulled all of my thoughts together to focus on the Shrieking Shack. I felt Severus' magic nudge me in an intangible direction into which I stepped, pulling Severus after me. When I opened my eyes (I was finding I had a subconscious habit of squeezing them shut as though my eyeballs might fall out), I saw that we were back in the dusty gloom of the Shrieking Shack.

Pretty much worn out from all of the previous failed attempts and now two Apparations in a row, I convinced Severus to allow us to return to the castle. Once we were back, I saw that some sort of prescience had summoned down a tray laden with cookies, biscuits, and two pots of tea and hot chocolate. I immediately raided the platter then collapsed on the couch with a cup of cocoa and two cookies in both my free hand and mouth. I justified the splurge by telling myself I needed sugar to replenish all of my spent energy. Of course the evening sugar rush just left me even more crashed afterwards than before, so I went to bed extra early and slept like a bear in hibernation.

When I woke up the next morning, the sun had just risen. I glanced at my watch and saw that I had been twenty-five for three whole hours already. As soon as he saw I was awake, Caligula made it clear he didn't care what day it was, I was technically conscious so I must feed him immediately. With one last enormous stretch, I stood, my eyes only half open, to serve my master The Cat. After Caligula was happy with his face suffocatingly deep in a bowl of Kitty Kibbles, I flopped back into bed; just because I had woken up didn't mean that I was done sleeping.

When I finally awoke for real several hours later, I had already missed breakfast in the Great Hall, which was, in all honesty, a pretty common problem of mine on weekends. I therefore ordered a plate of pancakes from the kitchens. When they arrived, I was charmed to see that a pink candle had been stuck in the middle and "Happy Birthday, Love Pinky!" had been written in whipped cream. I smiled as I licked the whipped-creamed end of the candle, thinking house-elves were so much more amazing than they ever got credit for.

After eating, and probably gaining a few pounds from the whipped cream alone, I showered and took extra time getting dressed. I knew there was no real reason for it, but I wanted to look nice on my birthday. As I magically dried my hair, I was hit with the sudden lonely feeling of knowing that this day is special but being unable to really share that feeling with anyone else. But what did that matter really when I had Severus practically as my fiancé? I made a face in the mirror as I brushed out the last few snarls. As every single day passed, I wondered just when Severus was going to ask me to marry him. I mean, that's what he wanted too, right?

When I was finally all put together, I flounced into the fireplace and down to Severus' room. However, when I arrived, it was apparent he wasn't there since the entire place was completely dark. I hadn't thought to ask him last night if he had any specific plans today, so I decided to see if he was in his office. This, of course, meant that I had to take the Floo back up to my own room then walk back down to the dungeons to avoid the freak chance of a random Slytherin walking by Severus' quarters just as I was leaving them.

The dungeon passageway was beyond frigid, and I wondered if it ever reached above freezing at any point in the year at all. Severus' office door was closed, but I could see a light shining beneath it. I knocked on the door and waited for him to tell me to enter. It was a good thing I had done this instead of simply rushing in because when I opened the door, I was greeted with the sight of Severus sitting at his desk reading while Fred and George Weasley sat at separate school-desks in front of him, writing lines.

All three faces glanced up at me as I stepped through the doorway. The sight of the two boys momentarily paralyzed me so that I didn't even enter the room fully and was still standing with my hand on the door latch. I realized I had to instantly come up with an excuse as to why I would be in Professor Snape's office on a Sunday morning.

Fortunately, Severus was much quicker on the uptake than I was, for he said immediately, "Thank you for coming down so quickly, Mistress Asphodel. I have some books I want you to go find for me in the library. If you will wait a moment, I shall write the titles down for you." Severus picked up a quill and began to write purposefully. His speaking had brought me back to reality, so I finally stepped all the way into the office and shut the door to keep out the howling draught.

I moved a little closer to Severus' desk and waited, wondering what exactly he was writing and if he really expected me to go to the library for him. As I stood there rocking back and forth on my heels, I glanced at the Weasley twins. George had not interrupted his own writing of lines but had, for some reason, moved his left hand up to rest on his forehead as though to block Severus and me from view. Fred had stopped writing and was staring openly at me as his face went through an interesting process of colour saturation from pale pink to bright red. I raised my eyebrows at him and meaningfully inclined my head toward his parchment.

However, I had not been quick enough for Severus commented coolly without even looking up, "I suggest you resume your punishment, Mr. Weasley. Those thousand lines will not write themselves." Fred jumped at this and hurriedly put quill to paper once more. I bit my cheek to stop myself from saying that if he had assigned less lines, we might have more time together later. Unfortunately, Severus was never one to scrimp on punishment, especially when it involved the younger Weasley boys.

Severus finished his own writing, folded the paper in half, then handed it to me. "At your earliest convenience, Mistress Asphodel," Severus said to dismiss me. I nodded, and forced myself to leave the room at a normal pace when I really wanted to just bolt out of that awkward situation.

Once outside the office, I sagged against the wall then opened the paper Severus had handed me. It said:

I will most likely be with these two for a few hours more. I caught them out of bed again several nights ago, so I had no choice but to give them detention. Would you come down to my rooms tonight at seven? I want to discuss Apparation more with you.

Well, there went any possibility of having a fun day with Severus. I folded the paper back up placed it carefully in my pocket. At least the weather wasn't against me today. Outside it was even warmer than yesterday, and the noon sun had already melted all of the snow left over from the blizzard. Of course, that just made everything even more muddy, but a little mud never really bothered me, being so accustomed to it through Herbology.

I returned to my rooms and pulled on an old pair of pants and knee-high boots. I figured it might be fun to walk down to Hogsmeade and get something to eat at the Three Broomsticks. Maybe Lavinia and her Henry would be there, and I could spy on them. Though it was warm enough out that I desperately wanted to leave some windows open to air out the winter stuffiness of my rooms, I knew I couldn't trust Caligula to stay put without me to supervise him. I couldn't even appease him with promises of leftovers from Hogsmeade because he was already growing seemingly fatter day by day as it was. I finally just left after promising him we would play for a good long while before I went down to see Severus at seven. Caligula wouldn't even have to know he was exercising.

With my wand in my pocket in case I was ambushed by a band of roving pirate-ninjas on my way down to Hogsmeade, I gratefully left the dark castle behind me. Since no students were allowed in Hogsmeade this weekend, the walk down to the village was a solitary one, which I enjoyed. I took the time to gather and rearrange my thoughts while listening to the sharp twittering of birds. Tough shoots of magic-hardened crocuses and daffodils had defied the last of winter's siege and dotted the areas along the path the trees and underbrush had not claimed.

I first went to the post office to mail the letter I had written my mom the other day. Since Severus and I had ended up taking the Floo yesterday, I didn't have a chance then. Fortunately, the post office was open a few hours in the afternoon on Sunday for people like me who found it hard to get down to the village during the week.

After that I walked through the square to the Three Broomsticks. Even though I had just eaten breakfast a while ago, the fresh air had reawakened my appetite. I peeked discreetly through the door, but could see no sign of Lavinia or Henry. Well, so much for that idea. I had been really hoping to catch them doing something lovey-dovey so I could tease Lavinia about it later. Since there was no one at the tavern I knew, and I found eating alone to be really depressing, I indulged in one small mead then left.

I spent the rest of the afternoon wandering aimlessly through the village, stopping in the few shops that were open, thinking maybe I could find myself something I really liked for a birthday treat. My mom sent me pocket money each month since I didn't earn anything in my apprenticeship beyond the priceless acquisition of knowledge. I had been really good with the money so far, deciding to save it up as an emergency fund instead of squandering it away, but I figured buying one small thing wouldn't hurt. However, I found I had developed such a habit of not shopping that I couldn't find anything spectacular enough to make me want to break it. At least window shopping helped to pass a good chunk of the time I had to wait until seeing Severus in the evening.

When the sun was half hidden by the sweeping horizon, wrapping the distant school and grounds in a warm blanket of peachy rose light, I decided I should head back. I turned to simply walk back down the High Street to the castle path, but then stopped suddenly. I realized I should at least try to attempt to Apparate to the castle gates. I didn't know exactly what Severus wanted to talk about in a little bit, but he would probably expect me to have been practicing since I was outside of the castle.

I discreetly ducked into a side alley, then looked both ways a few times to make sure no one was watching. If I ended up failing and slipping in the mud, I didn't want to do it in full view of half of the village. I closed my eyes, tried to focus all of my attention on reaching the castle gates, then turned on the spot. I don't know why I doubted myself so much, but I really hadn't expected it to work. So when I suddenly found myself pressed from all possible angles like a stuffed sausage, I nearly lost the thread of concentration from shock; who knows where I would have ended up if that had happened...

But all went well, and I instantly popped from the void into the space right in front of the towering Hogwarts gates. Severus had said he was confident that if I could just do it once, then I would have no more trouble. Apparently he knew what he was talking about. Though I could do it now, I still did not particularly like Apparation. For one, it still made my ears tingle horribly for a few minutes afterwards. Also, having grown up without magic for most of my life, if felt sort of like cheating, which I know must sound totally ridiculous.

I shrugged and sighed before trekking back up the hill to the castle. I don't know why I couldn't just be happy that I learned these things so easily! It took students sometimes months before they managed to even splinch themselves. Besides, the quicker I learned things from Severus, the more time would be left for fun. Heh heh.

I had already been slightly hungry when I went down to Hogsmeade, so by now I was ravenous. I went straight into the Great Hall where dinner had just started and took a seat. For some reason, I wasn't surprised Severus was absent, though I saw both George and Fred Weasley, rubbing their cramped wrists slightly, meaning their detentions had concluded. It just always seemed to happen that whenever I wanted to just see Severus, he was never at the meal I was. Of course that was probably for the best. Just because months had now passed since we had become involved with each other, it did not mean that being around him in public was any less nerve-wracking. Lavinia was also missing from dinner, and I felt incredibly jealous at the thought of her possibly shacked up with Henry at the moment. I stabbed at my fish and shovelled rice pilaf into my mouth, annoyed that my birthday was almost over and practically nothing special had happened.

I still had a little time after dinner, so I ran up to my rooms to take a quick bath to rinse off all of the sweat and mud from my earlier wanderings. Caligula scratched incessantly on the bathroom door while I soaked and meowed like someone was trying to kill him. Even though I knew he was a complete ham, I still felt bad about leaving him alone so much. Getting another cat was out of the question; Caligula would probably just disembowel it for entering his territory. Maybe I should have been bringing him down to Severus' room like he had offered. Maybe if I ever started to spend the night down there, then I would.

Finally it was a few minutes before seven. I ran a brush through my hair one more time, wondering what exactly Severus wanted to talk about. Maybe he just wanted to ask if I felt comfortable with Apparation yet. He'd probably be really pleased, then, to hear that I had already Apparated today by myself.

I threw a pinch of Floo powder into the cracking fire, stepped inside, then stated clearly, "Professor Severus Snape's room." I caught the quickest glance of Caligula pouting on the couch before I was whisked away past several other indistinguishable rooms, then finally deposited on the carpet in Severus' parlour.

For the briefest instant I thought somehow I had misspoke and ended up somewhere else. Normally when I came down, the contrast of the bright green fire to the romantic dimness of Severus' rooms was so great that it took a few eye blinks until I could see clearly in front of me. Now, for the first time, the parlour seemed almost brighter than the light I had just emerged from. All around the room and up in the cavernous reaches of the ceiling, Severus had floated hundreds of magical white candles. Looking upwards it was like seeing the stars in the night sky. Around me the shadowed details of the rooms were for once completely visible. For instance, I could see the upholstery was actually appearing as its true forest-green instead of the normal almost black. All the heavy curtains hanging from the windows were also pulled back, the first time I had ever seen them so. The glass scintillated with the light of the candles and seemingly doubled their number.

Severus had apparently been waiting for me by the mantle for he was right beside me when I arrived. "What's all this?" I asked, turning to him.

Severus raised an eyebrow. "Forgive me, but I was under the impression that it was your birthday," he replied with amused sarcasm.

I placed a hand over my mouth to keep myself from squealing with surprised joy as I looked around once more at all of the beautiful lights. Severus leaned an elbow against the mantle and watched me silently with his head rested on his fist.

After a moment I was able to internally compose myself, so I asked, "How did you know?"

"Certainly with no help from you," he said coolly, giving me one of his of stern looks that would have terrified his students.

"Well, you've never told me yours either," I replied huffily, "So I had no chance to naturally bring the subject up. But you still haven't answered my question."

Severus sighed and placed an arm around me to bring me away from the hot fire. "Being your supervisor, I have access to your file. When I recognized you your first morning here, I immediately looked at it again to check your birthday, in a disturbingly obsessive state of mind, I must admit, to reaffirm that you weren't criminally younger than me."

I smiled as Severus deposited me on the couch. He leaned over and took my chin between his fingers to kiss me. "I have something for you," he whispered.

Immediately my heart soared. I mean, who doesn't like presents, but then felt that little twinge of guilt that had kept me from mentioning it was my birthday in the first place.

"You really shouldn't have," I said. "You've already done so much for me; I don't need anything else."

Severus straightened and brushed my hair back from my face. "That's the point of presents: to give you something you want but don't need." With that, he kissed me once more then walked across the room to his desk. I turned to watch him.

"So when is your birthday?" I asked, dropping my chin onto my crossed arms resting on the back of the couch.

"January ninth," he replied as he opened a drawer.

"What?!" I gasped. "You mean... I missed it? Why didn't you tell me?!"

Severus pulled out a small wrapped package then came back over. "'I had no chance to naturally bring the subject up,'" he recited back, split infinitives and everything, and ran a hand playfully over my hair as he walked past me.

"But," I said, turning back around to the front of the room to follow him with my eyes, "I didn't get to do anything for you. I feel terrible..."

Severus dropped on the couch beside me and said, "Then you can fully appreciate the agony I would have gone through if I had not taken the initiative and used my privileged information source to find out your birthday for myself. You really are cruel, Avrille, for risking putting me through that!" His twisted logic distracted me just long enough. He smiled once more then deposited the present on my lap.

It was relatively small, about the size of a hardcover book, and deceptively heavy for its thinness. If not for the curved edges and plush give under the golden paper, I would have thought it to be a book. As it was, I had no guesses as to the contents. Severus wrapped an arm around my waist and rested his temple against mine as I carefully undid the ribbon.

"I really hope you didn't spend too much..." I said as I put the ribbon aside.

"Don't worry, I didn't spend anything," Severus replied mysteriously. I furrowed my brow, but he refused to give me any facial clues. I shrugged and slid a fingernail under the lightly glued seam to separate the paper without ripping it. Pulling apart the golden sheets, I uncovered a plain, black velvet box. Holding the bottom firmly in one hand, I slowly undid the clasp on the front and lifted the lid.

On a sumptuous black cushion shone dazzling sparkles of green and white as the light of the magical candles above reflected off of a stunning silvery bejewelled choker.

Before I could even really take it in, Severus said, "I've had it insured with Gringotts, so promise me you'll actually wear it sometime."

"Oh my God. You mean... it's real?" I dropped the box onto my lap in my surprise.

"Of course it's real," Severus replied, sounding just a little bit affronted. "Platinum with emeralds and diamonds." He listed them like they were nothing more than ingredients for Potions class.

I stared down at the necklace, an absolute fortune laying between my palms. At first glance, I had just noticed how incredibly beautiful it was, but now I really took in the details. It was made up of a series of coin-sized links, each one containing a round emerald the size of my thumbnail wreathed with a circular row of small diamonds. The setting of the stones was the silvery platinum, intricately embossed with a motif of ivy leaves. The thing must have cost more than my parents' house in Nova Scotia. How exactly could Severus have paid nothing for it?

As romantic thoughts of a masked and caped Severus sweeping undetected into a jewellery store and gliding lithely between theft-detection beams began to swirl through my imagination, he answered the unasked question with a completely logical statement: "It was my mother's."

I traced the outside of the necklace on its black velvet cushion, not wanting to touch the stones in case I got fingerprints on them. I finally asked, "What was her name?"

"Charlotte."

My vision of the necklace blurred into green and silver stars as my eyes filled with tears. Though I had never seen her, and Severus barely ever spoke of her, I just knew she had been beautiful. In my mind I imagined the jewels gracing the swanlike neck of a tall, willowy woman with long, flowing black hair like Lavinia's and Severus' melancholic eyes. I knew that if there was ever a time to find out anything about his mother, then it was now.

"How old were you when she died?" I asked.

"Twenty-one." He paused as if not sure whether or not he wanted to talk about it, but then continued, "She was only forty-two herself. Both of her parents died young as well, in a train accident. My mother was never very strong, and she just suddenly collapsed one day. The Healer was called and said it was an incredibly damaging stroke. The Healer contacted me, and I came home immediately. However, no spell or medicine could improve my mother's condition. She never regained consciousness and died three days later."

I shifted the necklace box and took Severus' hand in mine. He gave me a tight smile, then gestured to the box. "My mother received that from hers when she graduated Hogwarts. It had been in the family for several generations and is Goblin-wrought, I believe. Since my mother never had a daughter, she gave it to me for safe keeping, to do with as I pleased."

I shook my head and looked at the shimmering jewels before me, worth far more, I knew, in sentimental value than money could ever come close to. I didn't feel like I deserved such a gift, but I knew trying to make a polite refusal would be insulting to Severus. He had weighed what it meant to him and decided that I was to have it. Severus did not make mistakes.

The fact that Severus had given it to me raised my hopes even a little higher than before. He obviously would never have imparted such a priceless gift on just some girl he was having a fling with. Even though he had not yet said the words aloud, I knew now that Severus wanted to be with me forever. I just wished so much I could have met the woman who had owned this before me. I knew she must have been extraordinary.

"Come. I want to see how it looks on you," Severus said suddenly. He took the necklace from me, snapped the case closed, and stood up. He held out his free hand to me, then led me over to the other side of the room where there was a large mirror. Severus stood behind me, placing the box so it floated at waist height, then carefully removed the necklace.

"Lift up your hair," he instructed quietly. I gathered my loose hair in my hands, raising it up so my neck was bare. Threading his hands in the space between my lifted arms and my neck, Severus "lightly" rested the necklace against my throat. I say this because that many emeralds and diamonds seriously add up in weight. It was like he had just draped a solid lead chain on me. Now I knew why rich women always walked around with their chins up and their chests lifted toward the ceiling; if they didn't counter-balance the weight of their jewellery, they'd fall over.

I shivered slightly at the coldness of the metal and from Severus' fingers moving gently and deftly against my skin as he fastened the necklace together. I smiled as I watched him in the mirror, his grey eyes squinted in concentration as though a securing a necklace clasp correctly was advanced engineering. I felt him pull his hands away and saw him look up at our reflection in the mirror. He wrapped his arms around my stomach and held me tight.

"Perfection," he whispered. I turned my face so I could kiss him, then rested my forehead on his chin.

"Thank you," I said simply. After a little while of standing together, I asked, "Can I still keep it down here? It's not that I don't trust the students, but I want it to be extra safe. I figure that the odds of someone taking anything from your room are astronomical."

Severus released me, and I saw him squinting again as he unfastened the necklace once more.

"If you wish," he said. "I have actually been keeping it locked in a safe until now, so I can put it back there for you." I caught the necklace once it was loosed so it didn't fall onto the floor.

"You will wear it sometime, won't you? It's such a shame to just leave it locked up."

"Sure, if there's ever an occasion fancy enough for it," I said as I carefully replaced the necklace on its cushion and closed the lid on the case. I handed the case to Severus. "I'll have to buy a gown or something to match. I don't have anything extravagant enough that it would go well with."

"I think it would go well with nothing at all..." he said, then shut his mouth quickly as a pale pink glow spread across his cheeks. He abruptly turned and strode purposefully to the other side of the room. I had to cover my mouth to keep from laughing. I had never seen Severus blush, and that was certainly the most sexual comment I had ever heard him say before. It was interesting the sort of things that would slip out of his mouth when he was feeling relaxed. I walked slowly after him to give him a moment to compose himself.

I caught up as he was levitating some books out of their place on a bookcase. I could see that behind where they had stood was a smooth sheet of metal set into the stone. It had no handle or combination lock, and there seemed to be no way to open it. Severus set the jewellery case on top of the floating books and took out his wand. He placed the fingertips of his free hand against the safe door and pointed his wand at it.

He looked over his shoulder at me and said, "I invented the locking spell on this, so no one else should be able to open it. I'll teach it to you in a minute so you can use the safe for whatever else you want."

He stared at the door for a moment then flicked his wand once sharply. As he pulled his fingers away from the metal, it snapped open to reveal a dark, cavernous space that smelled cool and earthy. Severus placed the case inside on top of a few file folders of papers then closed the safe shut once more. He had me take out my wand then slowly explained the locking spell to me. Because I was already so used to Severus' magic, it was not difficult for me to figure out. After a few tries, I managed to lock it again securely. Severus replaced the books so that the space looked completely indistinguishable from all of the other bookcases once more.

Severus led me back over to the couch where we sat together in front of the fire. "I'm glad you like it," he said. "I honestly didn't know what I would have done with it otherwise. I could never bear to sell it." He paused and stared pensively into the flames.

After a while he said, "I wish you could have met her."

"Do you... think she would have liked me?" I asked hesitantly.

He took my face between his hands then said, "She would have loved you." He kissed me gently. "She always wanted a daughter but got stuck with me instead," he said smiling.

"Don't say that. I'm sure she loved you more than anything in the world." I brushed back a few strands of his hair that were tickling my cheek.

"I know," Severus replied then was silent for a while again. I wished it was possible to do Legilimency on him so I could see all of the things in his mind that he found too difficult to put into words. As he thought, I rested my chin on his shoulder and traced with a finger the outline of his hand that was resting on his knee.

"She was the only family I had..." Severus said quietly to himself, his lips pressed against his fist, his elbow digging into the armrest of the couch.

I reached over and turned Severus' face back toward me. I then slid my arms under his and squeezed him tightly. Severus buried his face in my neck, and I slowly ran my fingers through his hair.

Pressing my lips against his ear I murmured, "You never have to be alone again. I'll be your family now."