Y Nireidi Chanddi

Y Nireidi Chanddi

Chapter 1: The Amtrak, I mean, Hogwarts Express

"Ow!"

Alexis Catzaw attempted not to fall down while clutching a large suitcase, a backpack, and purse while hopping on the one foot that had not been stepped on.

"Sss..."

Hannah Lorevin attempted not to batter her best friend with a suitcase after she had bumped into her and almost thrown her onto the train tracks. She had a feeling that would be frowned upon by the station personnel.

Hannah tended to make this sound whenever she was angry, afraid, upset, annoyed, in pain, or basically feeling any of what those in the psychiatric profession liked to call negative emotions because they think it makes them sound smart. It doesn't.

With a lot of effort, mutual assistance and several near death experiences the two teenage girls managed to make their way to a bench relatively near the platform they would need to be at to board their train.

Despite their difficulties so far, the girls were still very excited. After a lot of planning, a lot of saving, and a lot of begging, they were on their way to the Ashland Shakespeare Festival, alone. Well, not alone, they were together, but without parental/adult supervision, which made all the difference in the world. And they fully intended to take advantage of their newfound freedom. To get that freedom they had had to be painfully responsible for the last three months, and that was just about all they could take, before exploding.

They had just managed to catch their breath and start chatting as only two teenage best friends can, when Hannah looked up and saw the clock that seemed to hang conveniently just above Alexis' head.

"Oh shit!"

Alexis spun around, and seeing the time also exclaimed, "Oh shit!"

Almost as one, the girls jumped up, grabbed their things and ran for the platform.

Alexis and Hannah were the kind of friends that fit each other so well that they tended to exclude and alienate almost everybody else. Despite only having known each other for a year, they had become very close. No, not that close you slimy little git! They finished each others' sentences; they often knew what the other was thinking; they could predict reactions with an almost mystical accuracy; and, if one heard something and thought of a topic that was completely unrelated, it was a good bet that the other had just thought of the same unrelated topic.

Hannah Raven Lorevin was about five foot eight and was generally described as leggy. She had shoulder length, wavy almost curly, golden chestnut hair. The rest of her features were rather unremarkable, except for her eyes, which were bright blue and almost freakishly large and almond shaped.

Alexis Nida Catzaw was just short enough to make it a hassle. She had approximately the same hair color as her friend Hannah, but it was straighter and a little bit longer. Hannah thought it was more manageable. Alexis disagreed. She had a round face, round lips, and round eyes. The most interesting thing about her eyes was that while they were usually a dark green color, they sometimes changed to a more gray, or sometimes brown depending on the light.

It might be the hair, but people often thought they were sisters.

Hannah and Alexis reached the entrance of the train just as the gates were about to close. They stumbled, no, fell, into the train car just about on top of each other. This is when things began to get interesting.

Alexis looked up first and yelped. This caused Hannah to look up, she squealed.

"Why are you little?" Alexis screeched.

"I'm little?" Hannah exclaimed, "You're tiny!"

They looked at each other and started quickly in the direction the restroom sign indicated. However, they encountered difficulties while trying to maneuver through the halls with their numerous bags. Thinking in unison, they ditched the bags and ran for the bathroom.

A few moments later found them staring in the mirror in a small restroom that was clearly designed to keep objects from falling on people and not for comfort.

Hannah pouted forlornly at the sight of her decidedly flat chest.

"This is not fair," she whispered, "it was bad enough before, but now I'm not even a cup size A."

Alexis just stared at her reflection helplessly, "I'm eleven," she murmured in shock, "I'm eleven,"

Hannah continued, "This is weird. This is not what normally happens when you go on a trip, unless it's down memory lane, but seriously, who wants to go there? The past sucks."

"I'm eleven," Alexis said for a third time, "I'm goddamned eleven!"

"Alexis, I love you, but if you don't quit saying that, I'm going to stick your head down the sink!"

Alexis turned on Hannah, "I'm eleven!" she shouted, "this is not normal, and I am going to say it as many times as I fucking please!"

Just then, they were both thrown to the right side of the bathroom as the train started.

"Our bags!" Hannah shrieked, running from the bathroom.

"Our bags?" Alexis asked incredulously, following, "we've gone back in time four years and you're worried about our bags?"

"Hey!" Hannah shouted behind her, "I left my favorite lipstick in my purse, and it's out there!"

"We're eleven, do you really think we're going to be wearing lipstick?"

"You really did grow up in a sheltered family, didn't you?"

Their thoughts were interrupted, however, when they noticed two envelopes with green ink sitting on top of their suitcases. Both girls wandered over with identically puzzled looks on their faces, picked up their respective envelopes, opened them, and read the contents. They read the contents for several minutes.

Hannah was the first to break the silence, "Isn't this a book?"

Alexis began to nod her head slowly, replying, "This is a book."

In case you're far duller than we think you are, the letters inside the envelopes read:

HOGWARTS SCHOOL

of WITCHCRAFT and WIZARDRY

Headmaster: Albus Dumbledore

(Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock, Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. Of Wizards)

If you haven't guessed it by now, we're not telling.

"I guess," Hannah began, "we should go find a seat?"

"Uh, sure," Alexis replied.

They walked into the area of the train where the compartments were. They were almost to the end of them when they realized that they should probably pick one. They quickly shuffled in, pushing past a young girl with curly hair and a nervous looking boy, and, without looking, sat down next to two other boys. A millisecond later, they recognized the two boys. They were Harry Potter and Ron Weasley.

"Oh shit." one of the girls said. It doesn't really matter which one.

Harry and Ron took a moment to give a strange look to the newcomers before returning to what they were doing before.

"Sunshine, daisies, butter mellow,

turn this stupid fat rat..."

"That doesn't work, ya know," Hannah said without thinking.

Alexis skillfully maneuvered her elbow into Hannah's ribs.

"What did you say?" Ron asked.

"Um, nevah mind," Hannah said more loudly, unconsciously slipping into a Brooklynese accent.

Harry leaned forward, "Are you Americans?"

"No, we're Australian." Alexis said, mimicking an Australian accent perfectly.

"Speak for yourself," Hannah said, following suit with the Australian accent, "I'm from New Zealand."

Silence reigned, and, together in perfect unison and completely deadpan, the girls said, "Of course we're American."

"Hi," Hannah said, offering her hand, "I'm Hannah Lorevin and this," she said, gesturing to the other girl, "is Patti McFartus."

Not even flinching, Alexis replied, "You realize I'm going to hurt you now, right?" Turning to the boys, and in a much kinder tone, she offered her hand and said, "My name's Alexis Catzaw."

"Hey, mine was better, wasn't it?" Hannah interjected.

"Great amounts of pain, great amounts of pain, is there any other way I can make this clear for you?" She directed towards Hannah.

Hermione, unable to contain himself said, "You know, you're probably the only Americans here, you should try to get along."

Almost right on top of each other, the two girls each said something to the likes of, "Huh?" and "What?"

It took them a moment to process the girl's words.

"Ohhh, I get it,"

"You think we don't like each other,"

"No, you've got it all wrong,"

"We're best friends, have been for ages,"

"Well, not really ages,"

"Technically it's just a year,"

"But it seems a lot longer,"

"Oh, I feel loved,"

"Oh, get off it, you know I didn't mean it that way,"

Amazingly, they now both took a breath, at the same time, and were able to notice that the four other people in the compartment were staring at them with a look somewhat akin to horror.

"Uh, yeah, well," Hannah, said, "we like each other."

In the pause, Hermione introduced herself, "I'm Hermione Granger."

This awoke the others from their stupor and introductions went around.

"I'm Ron Weasley," Ron muttered.

"I'm Neville Longbottom,"

"I'm Harry Potter," said Harry.

"Are you really?" said Hermione. "I know all about you, of course."

Just then, three more boys, affectionately known as Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle, entered the already crowded compartment. Malfoy looked rather surprised at the prospect of an audience. Crabbe and Goyle didn't look like they were capable of being surprised. Or happy. Or sad. Or any other remotely human emotion.

"Oh. My. God. He's. Even. Cuter. In. Person."

Again, silence reigned.

Malfoy began fishing for his train of thought.

"Er," he said, "Yes, uh, you're Harry Potter, right? This is Crabbe and Goyle. And I'm Malfoy, Draco Malfoy."

"Bond, James Bond," the girls said in unison.

"Blonde James Bond," Hannah continued.

"Young blonde James Bond," Alexis said, picking up the thread.

"Young cute blonde James Bond," said Hannah.

"Ya always gotta have the last word, don't ya?" Alexis inquired sarcastically.

"Never mind, that wasn't a question." they said in unison, Alexis in an explanation that wasn't really necessary, and Hannah because, as we said, the explanation wasn't really necessary.

There was a pause, then Hermione spoke, "Do you two often speak at the same time?"

Again there was a pause, Alexis tilted her head a little to one side and Hannah focused her eyes a bit towards the ceiling as they contemplated the question. Finally, they answered, again in unison.

"Only a little less than constantly."

At this, they glanced at each other out of the corners of their eyes, then looked back at Hermione and said, again in unison.

"Okay, that was unintentional."

At this they turned to each other angrily, and said, one again, yep, you guessed it, in unison.

"Stop it! No, you stop it! I'm not doing anything! Okay, we're both going to shut up...now!"

At this, they were silent. They stayed silent for quite a while, afraid that whatever they said the other would say as well. Well, maybe not afraid, more just annoyed. At last, Hannah let out a hiss and Alexis took this opportunity to speak.

She looked up at Malfoy, "You can go now," she said.

In response to Malfoy's blank stare, she elaborated, "He's not gonna be friends with you. He doesn't like you."

"We like you," Hannah quickly interjected.

Alexis ignored this and continued, "He's a Gryffindor, an annoyingly brave, save the day, happy go lucky, Gryffindor. So, as I said, you can go now."

Hannah turned to Hermione and Neville, "You can go, too. We don't have your frog, we don't know where your frog is, and, frankly, we don't care."

Neville sniffed bravely, "He's a toad,"

"Whatever," Alexis said, "Buh bye now,"

To illustrate, she waved, rather mockingly.

Not quite knowing why, Malfoy, Crabbe, Goyle, Hermione, and Neville all left the small compartment. They would continue to contemplate the why for many days, no, that's wrong, months, no, no, that's not right either, oh yes, years to come.

The four remaining passengers sat in silence. Suddenly, Hannah's eyes grew wide and she sat up straight. Alexis turned a quizitive look towards her friend.

"So," Hannah said to Harry, "You've met Malfoy before?"

"Um, yeah," Harry replied, "How did you know?"

Hannah declined to answer, which was all right because Harry and Ron were now talking excitedly about Harry's experience in Diagon Alley and the Malfoy family.

Over in the corner, Alexis and Hannah were conferring quietly.

"What the hell was that?" Alexis asked.

"Don't you get it?" Hannah replied, "We just totally screwed up what actually happens in the book. This is what they're supposed to be talking about."

Alexis' eyebrows shot up as understanding dawned. "Oh my god," she said, "we could so totally screw this up!"

"Yeah," Hannah said, "I said that."

Just then, Hermione returned, "You'd better put your robes on," she said, "I've just been up to the front to ask the conductor and he says we're nearly there."

"Robes?" Alexis asked as Hermione turned and left.

Then, Alexis' eyes got wide, just as Hannah's had. She grabbed her suitcase, threw it on the floor, and quickly opened it. Hannah caught on and did the same.

Inside each, were three sets of black robes, one pointed black hat, one pair of gloves, and one black cloak, as well as a number of books, a cauldron, a set of crystal phials, a telescope, and a set of brass scales.

"Uh oh," Hannah said, "what about our wands?"

"Yeah," Alexis said, "They're kinda important."

Just then, they noticed the two boys staring at them.

"Um, excuse us," Alexis said as she pulled Hannah to her feet and out the door into the hall.

"Okay," Alexis said, "What d'we do?"

"Well, first of all," Hannah replied, "you let go of my arm before I dig my fingernails into your forearm rather painfully."

"Would you try to be serious?"

"I am serious, I am very serious, whenever I threaten pain I am always very, very serious."

"Then, how come you never follow through?"

"I change my mind."

"You chicken out."

"One: I never chicken out. And two: did you just use the phrase 'chicken out'? What is this, the fifties?"

"The fifties? I didn't know they used that phrase in the fifties."

"Well, they did."

"You have absolutely no idea whether they did or not, do you?"

"It doesn't really matter, does it?"

"No, anyway, picking up from before you distracted me. We're going to Hogwarts, there's no way around it, we're gonna need wands."

"I though I distracted you."

"Well, you didn't. What are we gonna do?"

"Now calm down, let's try to think about this rationally."

"Hello?" Alexis interrupted, "Have you met us? We and rationality do not mix well, we tend to flee to opposite ends of the universe."

Hannah took a deep breath, knowing that her friend was right, but choosing to ignore that fact. She then went on to argue, somewhat rationally, using Miles Vorkosigan logic with great fervor. Miles Vorkosigan logic is, in short, one-sided logic, in this case, the kind of logic that, when used by Hannah, seemed to work out perfectly well in favor of Hannah.

"Look, there is nothing we can do about this. We were not consulted and it seems that we just need to go along for the ride."

As she knew it would, this got to Alexis.

"Go along for the ride?" she asked, "Like a water slide?"

"Somethin' along those lines."

"Me can do that," Alexis said.

"Me know you can do that," Hannah responded.

And, with newfound smiles on their faces, they returned to the compartment, took out one of their robes, went to the bathroom, and changed. It was amidst a great amount of giggling, poking, prodding, pulling, and basically any other silly verb you can think of, but it did get done.

And when the Hogwarts Express pulled into its station, Alexis and Hannah were basically ready for whatever the hell was going to happen next.

Well, not really anything, but close enough.