Between Love and War

Chapter 19

September 1980

Vivian was not happy to see Charissa Rookwood arrive at her flat. Charissa was hysterical. She kept repeating "Did you hear?" as she pushed her way into the living room. Vivian had not been drinking, and she immediately regretted that decision. "Calm down. Did I hear what?"

Charissa sat on the couch and took several deep breaths. It was quite a while before she was able to pull herself together. "Antonin was arrested."

Vivian did not understand why that would upset Charissa so much. "And?" she prompted.

Charissa looked up at her like she was crazy. "And he's been taken to Azkaban. Are you dense? Antonin Dolohov is in prison!"

"Well, I know that technically he was my cousin, but I didn't really know him. So..." She shrugged.

"It isn't always about you, Vivian."

"I'm sorry. Were you and he... involved." Vivian remembered Antonin from the party. He had not been much to look at, and Octavia had seemed very keen to get away from him. Surely someone like Charissa could do better than that.

"Merlin, no! I see that I have to spell this out for you." She paused, theoretically to allow Vivian one last chance at figuring it out on her own.

Vivian had no desire to play a guessing game. "Yes, that would be nice."

Charissa sighed. "He and my father worked together in the organization. He knows all about the things my father was involved in. At least Evan and what's his name didn't allow themselves to be taken alive."

"Wilkes. So you think that your father is going to be arrested? That's what this is all about?"

"Yes! Is that not tragic enough for you? Do you want me to raise the stakes some more? It's a big deal, Vivian!"

Vivian had not meant to imply that it wasn't. "I know. I just wish you'd said so from the beginning."

Charissa got up and started to pace. "All right, maybe you don't understand. It's not just Dolohov. They knew about Evan and Wilkes. Who knows where they were getting that information from?"

Vivian tried not to react. She had given Sirius very detailed information on Rosier before all that talk of engagement had started. It was a couple months later that the Aurors tried to arrest Evan. She could not be sure that her information had any effect on the decision to arrest, but it was likely.

Charissa continued, oblivious to Vivian's guilt. "And, you know, Igor Karkaroff has been arrested. That happened even before Evan's death. What if it was him? What if he's just telling people everything that he knows? And now Dolohov's been arrested. Who knows if he's going to keep his mouth shut? What am I going to do?"

"Well, I don't know that there's anything you can do. Your father made choices, and you always knew that this was a possibility. You should come to terms with it and live every day with him to the fullest."

"Right, if I wanted to hear trite advice, I'd read a magazine. I wasn't asking what I should do about Daddy, I was asking you what I should do, personally."

"I don't know what you mean by that," Vivian said.

"I mean, I have no marketable skills. What am I going to do on my own?" She lowered her voice. "We don't have that much money, really. Daddy's an Unspeakable, and that pays well, but he doesn't have that much in savings. Without his paycheck, I'll be on the street!"

At first, Vivian was not going to laugh, but the laughter bubbled up inside her, and she could not help it. Once she had started laughing, she did not even bother to hold back. Between gasps for breath, she managed to say, "You want me... to tell you... how to make money?"

Charissa was not amused. "Yes," she said, annoyed.

Vivian had to sit down. "My advice to you is to develop marketable skills. Pretty simple, isn't it?"

"That's not helpful," Charissa said through clenched teeth.

She probably thought Vivian was joking. In a sense, she had been. "No, you're right. How could you be expected to do that? I'm sure you wanted to know a way to make money without getting a job. Well, the truth is, those society woman you normally talk to are more suited for this, because my real advice is to marry well. That's probably the only hope for you."

"Marry well? You think that hasn't occurred to me? I..." Charissa grew pensive. "How do you do that?"

Vivian was about to give a flippant response when she realized that if Evan were still alive, she would be well on her way to marrying well herself. "I, er, I really just gave Evan whatever he wanted. I did the same thing with Lucius. I knew he was never going to leave his wife for me, but I know that kept me in the relationship past its expiration date."

"And how did you get Sirius Black into bed?"

Vivian hesitated. That was the one relationship she could not be honest about with Charissa. "Well, that wasn't very difficult at all." That much was true. "There was no emotional involvement. I... I don't understand that man at all. I can't tell you much about what might have worked on him."

Vivian realized she was rambling when Charissa smiled impatiently and asked, "But who is there left to marry?"

She had a point. Vivian was hard pressed to think of many single men from the wealthy families. "What are your thoughts on Muggleborns?"

Charissa made a contorted face. She looked almost too disgusted by the idea for it to seem genuine. There was something in her eyes, though, that belied a certain shrewdness. Vivian wondered if Charissa was afraid that declaring these men acceptable would mean competition from her. After this moment in the conversation, Charissa had a poorly masked desire to leave and, Vivian had no desire to stop her.

~*~*~*~*~

It seemed as if every time James spoke to Sirius recently, he was telling him all the reason not to be with Vivian. Now, they were sitting in the Potter's living room, and it was getting rather repetitive. "You know, James, I really don't need any help in coming up with reasons not to get back together with Vivian."

"Are you sure? Because you're in love with her, and I just think that might cloud your judgment."

James definitely had a point about that. He still thought about Vivian all the time. However, he was sure. "She doesn't love me, she yells at me, and she sleeps with other men. Those are reasons you always leave out. You forget to mention that the real reason we have no future is because of that."

James pointed a finger at him. "This is what I'm talking about. You are ready to take her back at the first sign that any of that has changed. That's bad."

As annoying as these conversations with James could be, it was still nice to be able to discuss the break-up with someone, especially James. "I'm just going to point out, one last time, that I do know Vivian better than you do."

James waved his arms wildly in the air. "We are changing the subject. It is time for you to move on. That's the new subject."

Sirius laughed. "That's not..."

He shook his head to show that he did not want to hear it. "Start naming names. Give me some rebound material. You are Sirius Black; you don't sit around and wallow about girls."

"What about Dorcas?"

"Let me rephrase that. You need to stop wallowing, it's not becoming a man of your caliber."

Just then, Lily came down the stairs to ask the boys if maybe it was time for Sirius to leave. Sirius knew what she meant. She finally got the baby to sleep and she wanted some time alone with her husband. As he graciously took his leave, James said, "Think about it."

"Think about what?" asked Lily. James whispered in her ear, and she nodded. "You definitely need to move on."

Sirius was thinking about what James had said the rest of the night. Maybe he had spent too much time wallowing. In fact, he now reflected, he had still been wallowing over Dorcas when he got involved with Vivian. Of course, that was different; Dorcas had died.

~*~*~*~*~

It did not take Charissa any time at all to figure out who she wanted to marry. She had known the moment Vivian had suggested marrying well.

Charissa did not know what she had expected when she went to see Vivian. She had been panicked, and she was not rational. The truth was, there were a lot of times when she was not rational. It was not that she made decisions without thinking, because she always thought through every little thing. It was just that she often had trouble justifying her decisions to herself later. Going to see Vivian was one of those things. There had been a method to her madness there, but Charissa would be damned if she knew what it was. Yet the encounter had been fruitful. That idea about marrying well was a stroke of genius.

It had to be Sirius Black, of course. He may no longer be the heir to the Black fortune, but he had plenty of money in his own right. Besides, he was far better looking and more fun than his younger brother. Best of all, Sirius would not be landing himself in Azkaban any time soon. The problem with Sirius would be getting him away from Vivian. Charissa knew that had not ended when Vivian reunited with Evan. It was possible that it had ended at some point after that, which would make things easier for her. Charissa was not worried though. It had never been very difficult for her to get men, even men who were involved with Vivian Snape.

~*~*~*~*~

Narcissa surprised Vivian by taking the wine glass out of her hand. "Darling, I know how difficult all of this has been on you. But... Well," She placed the glass on a table out of Vivian's reach. "I would never want to tell someone how to grieve, but maybe you should start thinking about taking positive steps toward moving on." She added in a whisper, "You're kind of wallowing."

Vivian knew that she had been leaning rather heavily on alcohol since Evan's death, and she knew that was not healthy. She also knew that it had very little to do with Evan's death, and that was even worse. She sighed. "I know you're right. I, er,... I'm trying to move on. It just isn't as easy as it sounds."

Narcissa sat next to her best friend on the loveseat. "Oh, I know. I've been where you are, but I can tell you that there is hope." She gestured to the bassinet that contained her sleeping son. "Things get better, but wine isn't going to make it happen any quicker."

Vivian hated when Narcissa compared her grief to the miscarriage. It made her feel unbelievably selfish. Narcissa had actually experienced great personal tragedy, and she did it with grace and fortitude. "Can we please talk about something else?"

Narcissa nodded, eyes wide. Since Evan death, she had been so nice and so careful around Vivian. "Bellatrix just got back from a reconnaissance assignment. Would you like to hear about that?"

Vivian gaped. Narcissa never spoke about those matters. It was just a sign of how desperately she wanted to distract Vivian. She needed to think, and unfortunately her head was not entirely clear enough for rational thought. If she heard something, who could she tell? What was the point of collecting information that could not be passed? She was not even sure that she wanted to be a spy anymore. Still, because of her previous spying activities, she had never turned down details about these things. Narcissa clearly thought she had some sort of fascination with it and was trying to use it to cheer her up. "That would be great," she forced herself to say.

By the end of the afternoon, Vivian knew more about plans and movements than she ever had before. She'd had no idea how much information Narcissa had. She wondered in passing if the new mother had taken the mark.

~*~*~*~*~

With the full moon a couple weeks behind them and a couple ahead of them, the Marauders decided to go out on the town that Friday night. Now that James had a new baby at home, it was harder than ever for the four of them to get together. Unfortunately, it seemed that, considering the state of the world, none of the boys were much in the mood for partying. They ended up back at Sirius's house, drinking firewhiskey and talking.

Peter wisely refrained from drinking too much. He had learned at a young age that he did not hold his liquor quite as well as James and Sirius and that, when drunk, he had little control of his tongue. However, it was not until he became a spy that he did anything with this information. The other boys seemed to like him better when he was drunk, and Merlin knew, he liked to be liked.

Peter tried not to resent his friends. He did not know when it had become so hard. It was after he started passing information to the Dark Lord. He had never done it to hurt them. In fact, he had protected them to the best of his ability. It was just that as he got older, he started to see things more clearly. It had always been the James show, or occasionally, the James and Sirius show. He had not cared when they were in school. He loved being part of a group back then. When they had discovered Remus' secret--they being James and Sirius--it had cemented the bond between the four of them.

Now they were in the real world though, and being part of a group like that was no longer so important. The neglect was no longer underscored by the honor of being their friend. Now was a perfect example. As they got more drunk, it became clear that James and Sirius had a secret, an unimportant one to be sure, but a "best friends only" bit of information nonetheless.

If Remus had noticed this, he did not seem to care. Of course, he was a few sheets to the wind as well. Maybe he was still so enchanted by the idea of having friends that he was not concerned with the quality.

Peter did not know what any of this meant to him. He did still consider them his friends. He still loved them like brothers; at least, he thought he did. But as he sat there, he knew he needed to reconsider some things.

~*~*~*~*~

Sirius personally favored the hangover cure that involved drinking more alcohol. He believed the Muggles called it "hair of the dog," although he had no idea why. On its own, it was not a particularly effective cure, since all it did was delay the hangover. However, he combined this with other methods , such as drinking as much water as alcohol, and by the time the hangover was settling in, it was a far more mild version.

That particular Saturday evening, Sirius was feeling better than he had any right to, considering the amount of alcohol he had consumed the night before. In fact, he was still slightly buzzed when Charissa Rookwood showed up at his door.

Sirius knew it was rude, but he did not invite Charissa in. He did not say anything, but waited for her to speak.

Charissa smiled when she realized this. "I guess we've never actually spoken before. But still I was wondering if, er, if we could now."

Sirius stood aside, but he still did not say a word. Charissa crossed the threshold, seemingly oblivious to the animosity that came off him in waves. She shrugged off her cloak and tossed it over the back of an armchair.

As Sirius saw the way her robes clung a little too closely to her curves, he had a sudden awakening of sorts. She was there for sex. Maybe Charissa really was as adorably clueless as she seemed. Maybe she wore those robes unaware of how she had filled out in certain areas, but the odds were that she there for exactly the reason he thought.

Sirius had always known that he was attractive, and he had used it to his advantage many times. The first time he did was with a girl one year ahead of him who had so long to be near him that she agree to do his homework for him. Ironically, he had been smarter than her, so he had to edit and correct the essays, but it still saved him a lot of time. He was a fourth year at the time and mostly did it just to see if he could. In the years after that, girls had thrown themselves at Sirius, and he had mostly ignored them, except when it was convenient for him not to.

He wondered now how long it had been since he even noticed a girl who was not Dorcas or Vivian. At the same time, he tried to remember why it was that he did not like Charissa. It came back to him like a shot. She was the slut who stole Vivian's boyfriend, freeing her up for Sirius. So, in all honesty, Sirius had more reasons to like Charissa than not to.

Charissa turned around and smiled. "I know that you're wondering why I'm here."

Sirius thought she was going to say something else, but she did not. The words hung awkwardly in the air as an unfinished thought. "Yes, I am," he said finally.

"I used to date, er, Evan Rosier." She crinkled her nose a little when she said his name. "But that was a long time ago, and I haven't really done anything since." Charissa paused. "And now he's dead," she added, as though she was not sure if Sirius had heard.

"Yeah," he said.

"So I was thinking..." She trailed off, possibly unsure of what she had been thinking.

Sirius waited. He knew what she was going to say, but it was taking her forever to say it.

"I mean," She sat on the couch. "I don't want... I was thinking that I needed to move on, but not in a relationship kind of way. I was thinking... that I want to start having meaningless sex with someone. Like a fling." Up to that point she had been looking up and blinking a lot, but after a long pause she looked him right in the eye. "Do you want to have a fling?"

The first thing Sirius thought was that Vivian was right about how much of a dolt Charissa was. The second thing he thought was about how Charissa exuded a raw sexuality and how much it would bother Vivian if he had a fling with her. Without giving it much more thought at all, he grinned and said yes.