The War of Shades

'Chapter 27 Train Transitions

In the morning of training camp's final day, after the morning exercise and a formal breakfast in which several short motivational speeches were given and Harry was pressed into saying a few encouraging remarks ("I live for the day when I can once again look each and every one of you in the eye and thank you for the hard work and courage you have shown."), the trainees gathered their things together and went to the staging areas for their departures.

The seventh year students who could apparate such distances gathered in one of the bedrooms for an orderly apparation to King's Cross Station. They could have simply gone directly to Hogsmeade Station, but none chose to. Most had to take the train because they were prefects, Head Girl, or Head Boy. The remainder just wanted to take the train for the fun of it and because it would be their last chance to take it to Hogwarts. Harry had learned that the students who hadn't been to camp wouldn't be wearing sunglasses until they got to the Hogsmeade train station, so there was no chance he would miss the train ride.

Neville and the other students who couldn't apparate gathered in another bedroom for an orderly use of the Floo system to get to the train station. The aurors apparating back to the Ministry of Magic were being coordinated by Moody so they wouldn't be arriving too many at a time. The adult auxiliaries apparating back to homes or jobs, such as Cho Chang and the Weasley twins, could apparate freely once they were ready.

At least this was the plan. Largely in the end it worked out that way, but there were a lot of friends made between these various groups, so there was an awful lot of running back and forth between the groups for tearful goodbyes and hugs, much like any muggle summer camp departure date. There also were a number of very prickly last-minute confrontations, and Harry felt called upon to break them up, particularly since the causes of the disputes seemed forgotten as soon as he got the participants' attentions. Harry, too, had a number of goodbyes to say and had to keep checking his watch - the best gift he had ever gotten from the Dursleys, even though it was a mail-in prize from a breakfast cereal - lest he miss his scheduled departure. With Tonks he started to give her a kiss, but she bent her head downward so that he couldn't. She did allow a hug, however, and he held that a generous time. He was heartened to see a tear run down under the edge of her sunglasses. He also said goodbye to Mrs. Longbottom, who thanked him for all he had done - both in general and for Neville specifically - and again pledged the support of the Longbottom household in whatever way he might need.

Finally it was time to depart. Hermione and Ernie had apparated first, being Head Girl and Boy, and then the prefects. Harry was to leave right after the Patils: just before they disapparated they turned to him and asked, "No longer attached, then?" with a wink and a smile from each. He gave them a couple of minutes to move their things, and hopefully to be carried away in the crowd. Then he grabbed his trunk and Hedwig's cage and apparated to the station.

From one cacophony to another, Harry thought, as parents and students were swirling all around him. The returning students and their parents all smiled and waved at him, and he nodded and smiled back at them, not being able to manage a wave with his hands full. As he looked around he felt rather intoxicated at seeing all the parents and students who did not have sunglasses on. This was to be remedied as soon as they got off the train, so he would have to make the most of this opportunity.

He found the compartment which Neville had claimed for them and stowed his things away, making sure that Hedwig was accommodated, and rushed out to the platform. He happily greeted anyone and everyone he saw without glasses - except Draco Malfoy and his mother - looking them all in the eye and just beaming at them as he talked about the DA and efforts to defend against the attacks. A remarkable number knew someone who had been protected - or for whom protection came too late. First years pointed shyly at him and gathered as Harry greeted every one of them he saw, as well as their parents, and encouraged them all to take part in the DA. They all indicated they had been looking forward to that as much as anything else at Hogwarts.

Finally it was time for the final boarding. Harry learned from Hermione that the sunglasses would be required of all prefects as soon as they arrived in Hogsmeade, but that they would not be distributed to the students until they reached Hogsmeade station. Sunglasses would be required for all students - but Harry - from the carriages and boats onward.

"You should have heard Malfoy whinging about the rule," said Hermione, "until he was reminded that having you look him in the eye was like having Voldemort facing him - then he shut up about it."

Harry smiled at that. He also noticed how Hermione really fit into the Head Girl role. As a prefect she had been rather on the officious, sometimes downright bossy, side; but as Head Girl she shared oversight with Ernie for the entire student body and became very pragmatic about matters, letting niggling details slide while attending to the necessities of health, safety and reasonable order. He smiled inwardly as he watched her conducting her duties, and realized that she reminded him of a much younger and less stern Professor McGonagall, but every bit as focused and determined.

Harry and Neville decided to wait for the prefects to be done with their duties before heading to the gym car. As they waited and talked, Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle came to their car and eased their way through the door in turn, being a bit too wide to step through it without turning. Neville tensed up, but Harry greeted them comfortably.

"Potter," grunted Goyle. "Did you mean what you said last year, about us joining the DA also, even after all the things that have happened, you know, between us?"

"Of course," said Harry. "Whatever happened before is water under the bridge - I'm only concerned about everyone's safety. If you want to learn the skills of self-defense, that's what we're about. But will you be able to get away from Malfoy?"

"We'll get away, one way or another," said Crabbe. "This whole war thing is just too much. I mean, I was always brought up to believe that wizards should stick with wizards and muggles with muggles, and I'm still okay with that, but going around killing people like that, sorcerers and muggles alike, well, I want no part of it."

"Me neither," said Goyle, a chin wobbling as he agreed.

"Isn't this going to cause some strain at home? After all, I'm sure you know the circumstances when I first met your fathers."

"Yeah, we read your interview. Our fathers have never been awfully open about such things, but I know I wasn't all that surprised," said Crabbe, with Goyle nodding agreement. "GG and me have exchanged owls about all the killings, and we don't want to go that way. We pretty much kept quiet over the summer about what we were thinking."

"That's great, guys, and you're welcome to join us, but do you realize that everything you've said to me is known to Voldemort, who will presumably be telling your fathers?"

"Yeah, we saw all those others running around in the sunglasses, so we asked Nott about them and he explained it. He said they were cool at first, but they got really old,' said Crabbe.

"Yeah, he also said all of us students would be wearing them this year, except in our dorms and such. That's got to be a drag for you, Potter, I mean, well both parts actually, having the Dark Lord in your head all the time and not being able to see anyone except in sunglasses,: said Goyle.

"Anyway, tuition's already paid, and we reckon we'll stay at Hogwarts for breaks, unless something else turns up," replied Goyle.

"Somebody I respected a lot had to do that when he broke from his family many years ago. Well, okay, then, we'll be doing intensive sessions with new students to bring them up to speed. We'll have all the details posted. You two should be up to speed in no time, seeing as you've already got 6 years under your belts."

They looked down, then Crabbe spoke. "You'd think so, but neither of us is really very good with a wand. Truth be told, we were relieved when Longbottom here was no good, 'cause that meant there was somebody worse than us in our year. Then you started training him and everybody says he's awesome now."

Neville puffed up at this and grinned.

"Yeah," said Goyle, "being Draco's friends has never really done anything for us except give some opportunities to shove people around. Your friends have become powerful wizards. We kind of like the idea of friends who help their friends be better than they were."

Harry smiled, and glanced over at Neville. "That's the best kind, isn't it? I know I wouldn't even be alive but for the help of my friends, and they also keep pushing me to be better. You do know that we don't generally do any shoving around of people - except during training."

"Yeah," said Crabbe. "I guess we'll have to work on new career plans, then, eh?"

They all laughed.

"So, erm, Potter?" asked Goyle, "We were also wondering if you were going to do that boxing thing like last year."

"Well, I reckon we could. I'm sure Finnegan and Thomas will be ready for it, though I doubt Malfoy will want to play. But let's have some instruction first. I'm afraid we kind of took advantage of you two last year."

They smiled and Goyle said, "That's okay. You three were better at it. Getting knocked around a bit made us think - no small task, that. That's something else we didn't do a lot of around Malfoy." They waved and left, saying "See you at the gym in a bit."

Neville stared a second and then stuck his head out the window, looking upward and turning his head every which way.

"Whatcha looking for, Neville?" asked Harry.

"The pigs," he replied, "because I would have sworn that nothing like that would happen til pigs fly."

"War makes everyone reexamine where they really stand."

"You reckon they're for real with that?"

"Yeah," said Harry, "I decided to take the opportunity to use legilemency to scan their attitudes and they were playing it straight, no tricks. They're really scared, far more than they let on. We'll have to be certain they understand that they have a place with us."

Soon afterward, the prefects were able to break from their duties. Hermione, Luna, Ginny and Ron found the car Harry and Neville were in, just as Harry was seeing if Hedwig was hungry.

"Did the snack cart come by yet?" asked Ron.

"Sorry, mate, not yet," said Harry. "How about an owl treat?"

He tossed a large pellet to Ron, who looked it over, shrugged, and tossed it into his mouth like a peanut. Hermione winced and said "Ewww" while Luna and Ginny joined Harry and Neville in laughing. Then Neville and Harry told the others about Crabbe and Goyle's visit.

"So you're gonna trust them, Harry?" asked Ron.

"Well, I know their present intentions are good. They'll be among the beginners group at first anyway. Who knows what bad habits will come back to them cooped up in a dorm with Malfoy? If I come across them without their sunglasses on, I'll just make sure where their loyalties are."

The others shifted their heads around to each other when Harry said this.

"Erm, Harry?" said Hermione, "I thought you were suppressing legilemency."

"Well, sure, with friends. I'm rather glad I wasn't suppressing it a couple of weeks ago in Liverpool, or have you forgotten that?" he replied.

"No, I definitely haven't, but it's not as if you'll be storming a house full of dark wizards at Hogwarts."

"And most of the time I'll be suppressing it, but I'm not that confident about those two yet. I like giving second chances, but when you can verify, it makes sense to do so."

"But that's hardly in keeping with the idea of giving second chances. Who else do you think you're going to check up on?" she asked.

"I don't know; maybe if some more of the Slytherins who never came to DA last year show up, I'll check them out. That is, if I get the chance - everyone will have the shades by then, and I don't plan on tearing their glasses off. I try to be more subtle than that."

"No one else? You wouldn't use it if I took my glasses off?"

"You!? I so miss being able to look into my friends' eyes, I'd just gaze into yours as long as you let me - no legilemency, just enjoyment."

"Would you be able to keep HIM from making you do it?"

"He and I disagree about that. If it was anything important, I wouldn't want to test it. Why are you so curious about all that?"

"Oh, well, you know, Harry, as Head Girl I have this new rule to enforce and I have to know if it's just a general precaution, like not feeding the giant squid by hand, or if it's a real, immediate danger."

"As much as I hate to say it, you'd better treat it as a real danger. Anybody who knows about how we're responding to the attacks or whatever had better keep their shades on."

Then Ginny asked, curiously, "Harry, is it really that hard going without seeing people's eyes?"

He looked at her intensely. "You just don't know until you've done it for a while. I know you and the others take them off to look at each other sometimes when it's truly safe - I've heard the talk, and Tonks confirmed it. The sunglasses are a wall between me and everyone else. I can talk around the wall, but I miss so much. Eyes communicate in ways that words never can: the way they glisten, the way they meet your own eyes, the way they shift to scan you as you talk with someone - it's more marvelous than you can even imagine until you've done without it for a long time - and two weeks time is long enough for it to hurt. Right now, I feel like just grabbing your glasses off, just to look into the deep brown of your eyes."

The force with which he said that made them all uneasy. Ginny was looking up into his face and gulped.

"Harry, I know it's just sunglasses and eyes you're talking about, but you make that sound too - passionate, predatory, something - for me to hear you talking like that about my sister," said Ron.

Ginny kept looking toward Harry. "Shut up, Ron," she said breathlessly.

"Harry?" said Hermione. "Are you going to be able to make it?"

"Yeah," said Harry, turning from Ginny to Hermione and relaxing. "I'll have some outlets: Hagrid and Reverend MacBoon are going to be kept from any secrets, so they won't have to wear glasses, and I'll be spending a lot of time with them. Professor Dumbledore is skilled enough at occlumency that he won't need to wear them. I imagine Snape is too: who knows? - after a couple of months, I might even find myself gazing into his eyes."

They all shuddered and laughed.

"Oh, and the portraits are safe, too. They have no minds to read, or whatever it is they have, there's nothing legilemency can get to - I tried at the Longbottoms just to make sure. None of them are quite as fully reproduced that it would be a substitute by itself, but it'll help. I may freak Sirius out after a while."

Luna smiled. "My mother used to tell me how when I was a baby and she would nurse me, I would look up into her eyes as I suckled, and she would look down into mine, and she would feel like everything else in the world just receded away and there was this complete spiritual link between us."

The others nodded with understanding.

"I'm sure that's more than just a poetic expression," said Hermione.

After a few seconds, Harry spoke up. "Oh, speaking of Hagrid, I'll be teaching him all the usual stuff he doesn't yet know as a wizard, so I'll need to find out what he can do. Since there are no classes until Monday, would you guys help me with that tomorrow afternoon?"

They all agreed. Then Harry continued, more somberly. "Also there's something I need to tell all of you about, and Hagrid's hut is a better place than most for it."

They all shifted their heads toward each other again.

"Okay, Harry," said Ron. "Are you sure it's not something you can tell us now?"

"I'd rather think a bit about what ought to be said, okay? Hey listen guys, it's great talking about this - I want you to understand what I'm going through, but there's a whole gym full of people who don't have shades on yet and I plan on making the most of it before the train gets to Hogsmeade."

"Right behind you, mate," said Ron with a cheery smile, as they all got out their gym bags and headed down the train.