The War of Shades

Chapter 19 Dreaming

That night Harry did not sleep well. He was pleased with the plan he, Hermione and Neville were working on, but he couldn't get Iphigenia McMillan off his mind. He remembered the way her eyes sparkled; then he remembered their lifeless aspect after the dementor's kiss. He remembered the graceful way she moved; and then he remembered her stumbling shuffle after the dementor's kiss. He remembered the beautiful way she talked of the interconnectedness of life; then he remembered her total mental vacancy after the dementor's kiss. He remembered the breathtaking way she sang about peace at church; then he remembered the aimless whistling and hissing she made after the dementor's kiss. He couldn't get her off his mind, and every time he tried to focus on how gracious she was before today, his mind was directed back to the emptiness of the shell left behind. He drifted off to a fitful sleep.

His dream started the same horrible way as his previous nightmare: images of Voldemort directing hundreds of followers to fan out over first Britain and then the world, like locusts, exterminating all resistance. But this time something new happened. He pictured himself and his friends in their Hogwarts' robes riding basilisks the size of the one he had killed in the Chamber of Secrets, as if they were so many fremen riding sandworms in Dune. They led their basilisks against Voldemort's forces and petrified them all. Harry and his friends laughed and celebrated at the destruction of Voldemort's forces. Looking out across the dead and petrified remains of Voldemort's legions, they all cheered and shook their arms in victory. And yet something wasn't right. Then Harry heard a cock's crow, and all the basilisks died. They all jumped down as the enormous snakes rolled. Each was separated from the others by the snake carcasses between them.

"Harry, Harry," he heard, "Aren't you getting up to run?" asked Neville, "Didn't you hear the cock crow? It's a new day."

Harry headed out for the morning run with Ron, Neville, and the rest from his room, all converging with the other trainees. As Harry entered the kitchen, he looked through a window and noticed what seemed to be sheep in the paddock.

"Neville," he said, "I didn't know Longbottom Manor raised sheep."

"Not in decades, Harry," replied Neville, "And those are odd-looking sheep. They're normally pretty dingy and scruffy. These are shiny."

They headed out the door and started looking toward the paddock, when Harry was suddenly hit in a full body tackle by someone screaming, "Yeeeeeeeee-Haaaaw!" When Harry got his bearings, he found himself flat on his back in the yard, with Tonks astride him, waving her arms to the sky, a wand in one hand, and screaming jubilantly.

"I did it, Harry, I did it," she screamed, holding his shoulders. Then she bent over him and kissed him all over his face.

Harry lifted her by her shoulders to ask, "Did what!? Give me a heart attack?"

"The sheep, Harry, the sheep! My patronus. That's the form of my patronus! I couldn't sleep after what happened last night. And I got to thinking how you said you loved me and I realized that that's the only reason you lost control that way, because you love me enough to do what you did. And I got up early and tried it out here to not bother people, and it worked! I've been making 'em for a half hour now, replacing the ones that melt away."

She bent back down toward him and started kissing all around his face again, in a way that reminded Harry of a large, exuberant puppy.

"Great, Tonks!" he said. "I'll have to make severe verbal abuse part of my training regimen, I guess."

"Only from the heart, Harry!"

She lifted up and stretched her arms to the sky and again started screaming jubilantly, shaking her whole upper body in a way which could not but be noticed and appreciated by all the men assembled for the run, especially as Tonks was only in a half-length t-shirt and shorts. Hermione hit Ron in the arm as he watched. Ginny scowled angrily as she noticed that Harry had noticed.

"Woo-hoo!" Tonks continued. "If any of you girls had your eye on him before, forget it! I'm claiming him. Any guy who can make me feel good enough to make these - EXPECTO PATRONUM - I'm going to keep!" Another sheep emerged from the wand when she made the incantation.

"Do I get a say in that, Tonks?" said Harry with bemusement.

"Nope, Harry, You men take too long to figure out what you want. The girls have to make the decisions. I've laid claim!"

"Whatever," said Harry. "Then I guess after breakfast you'll be ready to take on the lethifold."

Tonks suddenly stopped her celebration and got a terrified look on her face. "That thing! So soon?"

Harry suddenly got his own look of horror on his face and tried to pull himself out from under Tonks, "Eww, Tonks!"

"Oh, Harry, I'm so sorry. I hadn't had a chance to go to the bathroom this morning, and when you mentioned facing that monster, I ..."

Everyone started laughing at Harry's predicament.

Tonks stood up and started to point her wand at Harry's midsection, saying, "Well, just let me clean you up."

Harry covered himself immediately, "Tonks! I've seen your 'clean-up' jobs. You just point that thing somewhere else."

"Ooh, Harry, I will if you will," said Tonks, looking down and smiling. "So you DO like me."

Harry frowned. "A young woman bouncing around on me that way? - What did you expect!?"

Harry turned to Hermione, "Hermione, can you clean this up, please?"

"Hmm, you won't let me give you murtlap treatments, but you'll trust me to clean you up. Oh, all right, then. Scourgify."

Then they all set off for the morning run, with the constant stream of variously crude and ribald jokes at Harry's and Tonks's expense distracting them all from the rigors. Harry noticed that Ginny made Luna run with her far on ahead out of earshot of the various jests.

At breakfast, Mrs. Longbottom and Moody insisted that Harry sit with them.

"Potter," growled Moody. "While they are here, the aurors are my responsibility. So what's this I hear from Lupin about you making one of my aurors cry? I don't think I like the idea of weepy aurors."

"I'm really sorry, Professor," said Harry. "I really didn't mean to be so hard on her. I just kind of lost control."

Moody laughed gruffly. "Don't be so serious, Potter. If she can't stand up to a boy ..."

"I'm an adult now," Harry protested.

"You might be of age, but you're still a boy, Potter. You're a student and just look at those arms and legs - so scrawny it's pitiful."

"I'm stronger than I look - and more mature!"

"You've had to do your growing up, no doubt," said Moody, with a wink and a smile. "Nonetheless, if Tonks can't stand up to a youngster, she needs some toughening up."

"Not exactly that, Professor," said Harry. "We don't want her to lose the emotional and mental flexibility required for strong magic, particularly as a metamorphmagus."

Mrs. Longbottom and Moody both laughed appreciatively.

"Mr. Potter," Mrs. Longbottom said. "If Hogwarts needs a new teacher, I believe you are prepared to step right in."

"Thank you, Maam," said Harry, "but other than Defense, the only subjects I might be qualified in have professors that are too much of an asset."

"You're getting better at that, Harry," she replied, in a more personal, motherly voice.

"What's that, Maam?" asked Harry.

"Acknowledging others' good qualities without disparaging yourself. Maybe you're finally accepting that you are quite a talented wizard?"

"Sometimes. I can't deny that my coaching seems to pay off or that I pair off pretty well in a duel. But sometimes I still feel like a little kid pressing his face against the candy store window."

"A mix is good, Harry," she said, "Even at my age, I still have that feeling at times."

They went on to discuss applying Harry's time more effectively. With Tonks finally having her corporeal patronus and needing only testing, they decided all would be best served if Harry participated in Moody's morning strategy and tactics classes, continue with one hour patronus sessions for the Hogwarts students, which would include testing with the lethifold as needed, and spend the rest of his time in dueling, both on his own training and coaching others.

Then Moody coughed to get Harry's attention. "Potter, I thought I'd better give you a heads-up. The Ministry is considering asking DA members who are of age and qualified with apparition, patronus and dueling skills if they would be interested in volunteering to join the auror auxiliaries."

"I'll join," said Harry.

"Yeah, sure, Potter," said Moody. "You're about the only one they wouldn't take. You're the sentry. You have to keep out of the fighting so you can feed us whatever information you can."

"I'm not comfortable sending my friends into battle like that."

"You wouldn't be sending them - the Ministry would."

"But I trained them," objected Harry.

"You trained them to protect themselves and others, and their talents are needed to do that. Your DA team leaders can match or beat any of the aurors in a duel. They're more than a match for all but the very best of the enemy forces," continued Moody.

"So you want them to do this while they have to prepare for NEWTs?" asked Harry.

"You're worried about their NEWTs," said Moody, "with all you're going to be doing while preparing for NEWTS?"

"Do I have any choice?" answered Harry. "Besides I don't have to prepare for the DADA Newt - I already have it."

"But you'll be spending more time than anyone working on defense skills anyway, won't you? Don't worry about your students and their NEWTS. They're so far ahead of any previous group of NEWT candidates on their practical magical skills that they can coast."

"Thanks to you, Mr. Potter," added Mrs. Longbottom.

"They work hard," said Harry.

"Because you lead the way," said Moody. "Anyway, don't say anything yet. The Minister is resisting asking students to participate, considering who would be first to volunteer."

Harry nodded. "You couldn't keep Ron or Ginny away, once she can apparate. Or Neville for that matter."

Mrs. Longbottom smiled. "Yes, you've made him a fighter, but he would be utterly unqualified, being unable to Apparate or conjure a patronus."

"I don't think the maniacal rant would work on him the way it did for Tonks," Harry said with a frown, and then continued, "but maybe there's something I can do to help Neville and the sixth-years along on Apparation. It helped so much that I already knew the feeling of it from having been apparated by Dobby last summer. Now that we are cutting back on Patronus sessions, how about if I take an hour or two in the afternoon right after lunch to show them the feeling. One day a week should get them moving along. I'm not qualified to teach Apparation, since I don't know the remedies, but I have tested out to Apparate other people, so they can at least know how it should feel. And they'll only be more effective fighters the quicker they can learn to Apparate."

Mrs. Longbottom and Moody both agreed that this would be helpful.

"And Mr. Potter," Mrs. Longbottom added, "I appreciate any extra effort you can put into Neville. You've helped him so much already, and I'd hate for him to spend a second year of Apparation class splinching himself."

Harry shrugged. "I promise only my best effort, not miracles."

"For you, that's a very thin line, Mr. Potter," she said with a warm smile.

Chapter 20 - Jealousy

At lunch, Harry was approached by Cho Chang.

"Harry," she said sweetly, "I've heard you've been looking for me."

He had previously approached her several times only to be brushed off, so Harry wondered why she would act as if it was something she had only just now heard about. Whatever the cause, he really wanted to talk about his feelings for Marietta with someone who also was friends with her.

"Yeah, Cho, there is something I want to talk with you about. How about if we meet right after dinner out at the gazebo? We shouldn't be disturbed there."

Cho smiled. "Okay, Harry, that'd be great. I'll meet you then." She went back to where she had been sitting for lunch with her friends, said a few words to them, and they giggled together. Harry felt like something was up, but he wasn't sure what.

Apparation sessions were to begin at the patronus practice room, since Harry had been using it all along. He and Remus started walking up there early. Harry figured they needed to discuss procedures for this, but there was something else on Remus's mind.

"So have you recovered from this morning, Harry?"

Harry blushed. "Physically, I guess. I'm still kind of embarrassed by it."

Remus smiled. "I can imagine. Are you going to take her up on it?"

"Who, Tonks!? What do you mean?"

"She more than offered herself to you."

"Oh, she was just over-enthusiastic and demonstrative - you know Tonks."

"Hmm. I'm not sure she was just teasing, though."

"Oh, she's just a good friend: she's taken it upon herself to show me the sort of horseplay the aurors trade," protested Harry.

"There are worse bases for a relationship than friendship," said Remus.

"I suppose there are. I hadn't really taken it seriously. She just seemed giddy, but you seem to think there's something to it. Maybe I need to deal with it."

"I guess you should, Harry," said Remus, "if she really has romantic feelings for you, you could hurt her badly by being careless."

"You know, Remus, you're being quite protective of her. Are you sure you're not jealous?"

"Jealous!? I can't be jealous. With my condition, I can't even think about falling in love," scoffed Remus unconvincingly.

"You are a healthy man, warm, caring, affectionate - how can you not think about love?"

Remus bowed his head. "It's just not possible."

"Remus, so what if you're out of commission one day a month. That's better than most. It's not like you're a drunk or a sports nut or something. Tonks has said before she would be happy to have you."

"It wouldn't be right, Harry," said Remus. "Too much risk."

"Well, then, what do you care who she sees?" prodded Harry.

"Don't you think she's a bit too old for you?"

Somehow this annoyed Harry. "She's closer to my age than yours. Maybe it'd be fun to spend some time with a more mature girl."

"She's not a 'girl,' Harry," said Remus tensely.

Harry smiled wickedly. "All the better!"

"Harry, I don't think it'd be wise."

"So give her an alternative!"

Remus sighed. "I'm sorry I brought it up, Harry. I don't want this to come between us."

"Neither do I."

"Right, then, let's get on with arrangements for these classes, and maybe a little time will give us both a better perspective."

During the apparition sessions, one of the last of the sixth years to arrive was Ginny.

"Hi, Ginny," Harry said warmly, but not overly eager.

"Hello, Harry," replied Ginny stiffly.

Harry arched his eyebrows and smiled lightly. "I thought you said we were still friends."

"Of course, Harry," she replied, just as stiffly, with a half-hearted smile. Then she continued, "I'll bet that was a lot of fun for you this morning, eh?"

"This mo- ...? Are you upset about Tonks? Oh, you know how she is. Don't be silly."

Ginny lost any hint of a smile. "Ah, I'm just a silly little girl then, is it?"

"I didn't say that. But you know Tonks. She overdoes everything."

"Sure, Harry. And I'm sure that when she was shaking herself, with her t-shirt going every which way, you were looking up counting her nose hairs!"

"From where I was, it would have been pretty hard not to notice, Ginny. But I didn't ask to get jumped like that."

"You didn't make much of an effort to get up, did you?"

Remus saw the conflict and interrupted. "Harry, are you two going to talk or Apparate?"

"Right, Remus, we'd better get on with more serious things," said Harry pointedly, and put out his hand for Ginny. She took it like she was about to hold Fang's slobbery tongue. Harry grasped her hand firmly and said, "We need solid contact if you want all of you to arrive." Then he disapparated to the far side of the greenhouses.

Ginny pulled her hand away. "I hear you have a date with Cho tonight."

"A date wi-..." Harry started. He wasn't going to play her game. "So what if I do - friend?"

"Oh, nothing, just small talk." She stuck out her hand, he grabbed it abruptly and apparated to the front porch.

"By the way, why haven't you had your family do this with you?" asked Harry.

She stuck out her hand again, and said, "Who says they haven't?"

Harry grabbed her hand again and apparated into a greenhouse. "Ah, just wanted a chance to have some hand-holding then?"

"Yeah, right! As if! Don't expect me to drool over you like some girls do!" said Ginny sharply.

"You're friends with Tonks - why are you sniping about her?"

"I'm not sniping. I suppose she has her qualities. In fact, they're pretty much out there for anyone to see," said Ginny. She stuck out her hand. Harry grabbed it and Apparated to the attic.

"Now you're being just plain catty. Two summers ago, you were giggling at Grimmauld Place with her," said Harry.

"Well, then she was more like an aunt or a big sister. Now, she's ... different," said Ginny.

Yes, thought Harry, now you're treating her as competition - but why not then give an opening. "Let's focus on what we're supposed to be doing. Concentrate and feel what's happening when I take you places, uh I mean, apparate you." He took her hand and they apparated to the gazebo.

"Hmf," said Ginny, "Had to reconnoiter the site for your date tonight, I guess, make sure you have enough privacy?"

"Privacy?" snapped Harry. "I never have privacy! I've been watched virtually every second for years, and it's only getting worse. You have no idea what it's like to be in a fish bowl like that. So if I find a way to put that out of my head for a few minutes and spend some time with someone who will actually be nice to me, what's it to you, FRIEND?"

"Fine by me, Potter. Go have your time with the jiggly giggly girls. Have fun!"

Harry grabbed her hand and Apparated her back to the room where Remus was waiting.

"Ah, Ginny, did you get the hang of it?" asked Remus.

"Put her down for another session, Remus," said Harry savagely, "She wasn't paying any attention to what she should have been."

"Professor," said Ginny, in mock sweetness. "Can you do my session next week? I'd like a teacher who has his students' interests at heart."

He looked at her with a frown. "Sorry, Ginny, I'm not rated to apparate people, and for good reason. And I have trouble believing you would suggest Harry doesn't care."

"Next week then," said Ginny, curtly.

As she left, Remus sidled over to Harry and whispered, "You certainly have a way with the ladies, don't you? I guess I don't have to worry about you and Tonks."

Harry glanced at him and shook his head incredulously.

Luna was next. Seeing Ginny glance back, he made a show of kissing Luna on the cheek. Ginny stomped off down the hall. Luna glared at him.

"Don't use me, Harry," said Luna. "That was not a natural display and we're not 'kissing' friends."

Harry stopped paying attention to Ginny and looked back at Luna. "I'm sorry, Luna. You are absolutely right. It's unfair of me to let things which happened with others affect our friendship. And I value it so much because you tell me so directly. Forgive me?"

"Of course, friend," she said sweetly. "I knew that wasn't the real Harry Potter doing that."