The Amazing Illegal Wonder Potion

Chapter 15

Love at first (drugged) sight

Remus was exhausted. His latest mission for the Order had not gone well - he had just barely managed to avoid sexually harassed by Rita Skeeter outside a certain house of ill repute in Knockturn Alley.

Remus shuddered at the memory. Next time they want someone to stake out The Naked Virgin, they can send a straight man.

Though come to think of it, there weren't many of them around these days. The Wizarding world seemed to have a rather disproportionate number of homosexuals.

At any rate, all Remus wanted now was a solid meal and a blow job. But with Narcissa Malfoy doing the cooking, and Sirius in one of his moods, neither was very likely.

In fact, Sirius seemed to be in a worse state than ever. He had locked himself up in Buckbeak's room and was refusing to speak to anybody. When Remus checked his private stash, he discovered that three bottles of Firewhisky had disappeared.

He sighed. There was nothing for it but to go to bed, and hope that old Padfoot would be in a better mood tomorrow.

Remus trudged slowly up the creaking stairs, wondering vaguely if they'd been so charred the last time he'd been there.

He barely even noticed Sirius's goat, as it ran past him at breakneck speed.

Remus did notice Snape, who shoved him out of the way and screamed, "You're mine, sexy!"

For a horrible moment Remus thought Snape was talking to him, and then made the even more horrible realisation that Snape was talking to the goat.

Remus suppressed a shudder and hurried on his way.

He passed Hermione and Ginny's room. From behind the closed door, he heard squeals and giggles.

The girls are having a pillow-fight, he thought.

He passed Draco Malfoy's room next, and from there he also heard squeals and giggles, though the voices were somewhat deeper.

Remus decided not to think too deeply about what was going on there.

He paused briefly outside Buckbeak's room, but from that closed, charred door, he heard nothing but silence.

In his own room at last, he closed the door and slowly began to undress.

"Remus," said a voice behind him.

Sirius was sitting on the bed, a glass of pink, fragrant potion in his hand. He was smiling, but his eyes seemed troubled.

"Sirius! Didn't see you there... Are you all right?"

"Yes... I suppose." Sirius paused, his expression melancholy. He took a deep breath. "Moony, have I been bad to you?"

"Er... well, not bad as such..." Remus began, then reconsidered. "Well... actually, you've been terrible!" he burst out. "You're never there for me, you never want to be with me anymore, you don't pay attention to me... Actually, I don't really think you care at all. You don't love me anymore, do you?"

"Moony, my old friend," said Sirius gently. "I know I've been terrible. And I'm sorry. But I promise you. I promise you that everything will change."

And he drank the potion.

THE END