Age of Innocence

~~~~Age Of Innocence~~~~

~~~~Chapter Thirteen: The Importance Of Being Yourself~~~~

~~Hogwarts School, Somewhere In Scotland - Jan 1st, 1925~~

New Year's Eve had come and gone, it was now well after midnight at Hogwart's School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. It was a very subdued group however that was now being forced to wait in the hallway leading to Hospital Wing, for the St. Mungo's Hospital had finally sent their people over to examine Severus and Sirius. Poppy and Remus had done what they could to stop the bleeding and from letting more toxin's flow into Sirius's body from the gaping wound, but there wasn't much more really they could do. Medicine's were not very advanced in these times, and everyone knew that even to wizards, gunshots could be very fatal.

Of the two men however Severus was the one most in trouble when all was said and done, and Remus had finally collapsed to the ground outside the infirmary with that knowledge. Petey had arrived not long ago, after Remus insisted someone contacting him about what had taken place and Sirius's condition. He wasn't sure but he figured Arthur had, and Molly too had arrived shortly afterwards, along with Bill, Charley and Ginny. Bill and Charley also were Marauder's, though they hadn't been able to make it to the New York meeting. What Remus had been surprised about was that Narcissa had also show up and Remus had to wonder why Draco hadn't gone back to New York by now.

Albus had quietly informed Remus that Draco had now refused to leave Harry's side, and in Draco's own words he had said something to the effects of - 'You can tell Lucius to fuck off, I am not leaving Harry!' - and that was that. Albus had himself gone and spent over an hour talking to Lucius back at the hotel in New York updating him of events though Remus assumed he didn't tell Lucius why Draco really wanted to stay at Hogwarts, nor who Harry really was most likely. Knowing Albus he probably just had said that Harry had been used as a vessel, and left it at that. He had arrived back at Hogwarts with Narcissa in tow however, though Lucius had declined to leave New York, and frankly Remus thought that was the best thing all round.

Remus was now sitting with his back against the wall, eyes staring at really nothing though he felt someone slid down next to him and he knew it was Petey. Until now Remus had been strong, he had to be because he wasn't going to lose his lifemate, but now everything seemed to be crashing around him. He knew Sirius would be all right, the toxins were leaking badly but fixable by magical means, and with Skel-E-Gro his bones would be rebuilt in no time, even if it would be sore and stiff for a bit.

However the bullet lodged in Severus's lung was not going to be so easy. One of the mediwizards had come out only a few moments ago and had spoken privately to Remus, which is why he was now here collapsed against the wall with a look of pure agony. They had told him the bullet wasn't just lodged in his lung as Remus had first thought, but practically sitting on the lining of his heart and even Remus knew what that meant. The mediwizard hadn't seemed too hopeful, they had never pulled out a bullet this close to the heart before with success, and basically the man had told Remus to prepare for the worst case scenario. That of course being that Severus was going to die.

Remus wasn't going to tell anyone though how bad it was. That was right now between himself and the people working on Severus, and he really didn't think he could handle any pity or condolences at the moment. As he sat there staring out at the grey wall across from him the comfort Petey was giving him even without saying anything seemed to sustain him. He twirled a small brown bottle in his fingers, gazing at it from time to time and shaking his head. When he could take no more though he knew that what was in this bottle could help take the pain away, could help what was to come, but something in him snapped at that same moment and for some reason he couldn't take the drug.

Petey seemed to sense this and got a bit concerned, and he turned to his friend now and said, 'Remy? You all right?'

Remus shook his head and curled his knees to his chest, the small bottle still tight in his grip. 'You tried to warn me you know...all those years ago you tried to stop me but I wouldn't listen. By Merlin Peter...what have I done? What have I become?' he said in a far off type voice.

'Remy....Moony please. The past is the past, we can't change it, only go on from it. Life dealt all of us pretty bad hands, not much we can do about it,' Petey sighed.

'Do you have any idea what it's been like for me Petey? Do you?' Remus said in a harsh voice now. 'For nine years I sold my body to what ever man would pay for it. To have to do things that in my whole life I never thought I could do, I was forced into doing. I'm a prostitute...a fucking whore Petey, an addict...and I let myself become that way because I was too weak to fight anymore.'

'No Remy that's not true. If anything I was the weak one, I fell to Lucius before all of you...and I dragged you and Sirius down with me. I was the one that got corrupted first...' Petey sighed deeply.

'I let you drag me down though. I let you because I was too weak not to, I couldn't fight anymore against it all, the pain of losing James, of being the monster was too much for me. This...' Remus spat and held out the small bottle, 'this was supposed to be my salvation. It isn't though...all it's done is take away the last fifteen years of my fucking life instead. Numbed me to the point of no return until without it I'm a fucking zombie. Oh Merlin...and I'm guilty of bringing Severus down with me too...' Remus slightly sobbed now and curled himself up tighter.

'Remy...Remus what do you mean by that?' Petey asked confused.

'Pete...Severus...he...he bought my contract from Lucius six years ago. No one knows Pete, no one but the three of us and now you. I stay at the club, I still pretend to be what I was...I still get paid for a drink and a dance...but only Severus sleeps in my bed now. But I still am what I am Pete...I'm still a whore and an addict who survives on the generosity of my dance partners and living on money that was made by selling my body. I won't touch Sev's money...he's offered it to me a thousand times...he even sneaks it to me...he feels guilty I think for making me his alone. He's so godfucking proud sometimes, and I love him so much for that. I won't take the money though...I'd rather be skint than take a dime from Severus,' Remus said with tears in his eyes.

'Remy why do you think you dragged him down then? He wants to help you, to be with you, so why think that?' Petey asked quietly.

'Because he deserves more than me Peter! Don't you see that? I've dragged him down into a place he never should have been...the lifemate of a prostitute and a opium addict. He deserves someone better...not a werewolf who's ashamed of what he is and does. I'm nothing but a monster Petey...a fucking monster who even almost killed Sev once.'

'Don't you dare Remus J. Lupin...don't you dare put yourself in the same category as a wild, untamed werebeast who doesn't know right from wrong because you do know what's right or you wouldn't be here now. Don't you dare blame yourself for Sirius's petty jealousies back then. Severus forgave you, he took you into his heart knowing what the past was, what you were...and he still fucking loves you, you stupid arsed git! Enough to buy you're fucking contract from Lucius so you wouldn't have to keep being dragged down. If that isn't love...if that isn't commitment...then dammit nothing is,' Petey said angrily.

'Pity...he took pity on me that's all,' Remus sobbed. 'That's all it was at first. I remember it so fucking well. Seven years ago is when it all started Pete. I wanted to hate him for as much as I loved him. I wanted to spit in his face for what he did to me...made me feel...but no. Severus had to go play the fucking Gryffindor after all...he may have rescued me from Lucius's hands...but I dragged Sev down to my level by letting him give me his hands instead. Even though I belong to Severus...Lucius still claims my rights and even Severus can't deny that,' Remus said bitterly.

Petey stared at Remus a moment unsure of what that meant. 'Wait...you're not saying...Lucius...that he...you...together?' he stammered.

Remus growled slightly, then nodded his head slowly and he sighed deeply. 'Do you really think Lucius was going to give me what he did without some 'paybacks' Petey? He wasn't gentle by any means either. Unlike with the girls whom he treated with dignity...no...not me. That fucking wanker raped me Petey...that's all it was...rape. For my 'privileges' I paid, gods did I pay...' Remus said with a slight shiver now.

'What did he do Remy? For fucks sake...what did he do to you?' Petey demanded.

Remus choked back a sob and shook his head slightly, tears now falling down his cheeks. 'I could show you the scars but I won't. Not all of them are outside either Pete. They're in here too,' he said and tapped his chest. 'That night though...the fateful night Lucius came into the club...it only got worse at first not better...'

'How? Dammit, what happened Moony?' Petey said angrily and drew Remus into his arms to hold him now.

Remus sniffed and snuggled into Petey's arms, grateful for his friends understanding. Grateful that Petey didn't just turn and run from him at the moment Remus had told him the truth as he feared he would have. With that knowledge he began to tell Petey everything of that fateful night.

'It was the first time Lucius came to the club without the intent of being with me but with the girls instead, though I figured out why quick enough. It was the first time he had brought a party with him, some cronies of his from Chicago in America and of course he couldn't reveal he also bedded men, not to those type of blokes. The Belladonna was known by then for the Jazz and the shows, the best in Londonreally I have to admit. The woman were fast and loose, no longer the kids they were remember?' he said looking up at Petey.

Petey smiled a bit then nodded. 'I remember. They grew up fast at the Bella that's for sure.'

Remus nodded before looking back down and continuing his story. 'At first I didn't know they were there, I had had a trick of my own I was occupied with but it was only one of the regulars, and he never lasted long. Hour at best, if that. I came back downstairs ready to accept the next trick when I saw Lucius. There was a grin on his face when he saw me, though the girl on his lap, Beatrice if I remember right, made it clear she had claimed him for the night so I wondered what was going on. I saw he was with people I didn't know, Americans, which is why he didn't call for me I assumed. Lucius was always strict 'bout our 'meetings', always apparating in a specific times right to my room so only the proprietor knew he was coming to see me.'

'That night however as I walked downstairs I could see the look in his eyes of warning, and I knew it was hands off. I was grateful almost, I really had been in no mood for Lucius's trysts that night, but I wasn't going to be let off. He called me over to him privately however and told me that he had someone he wanted me to 'take care of' for the evening, of course I agreed, how could I say no. I thought it was probably one of the bodyguards for the Americans, it was known that some of them did have gay thugs, so I resigned myself to that and figured it was going to be that kind of night anyway.'

'They weren't gentlemen I take it then,' Petey said with a sigh.

Remus snorted and shook his head. 'Not in the word Petey, not even close. I had in past been 'privileged' to attend to some of Lucius's American 'friends', and they were 'bout as giving and gentle as Lucius was with me. Lucius told me the man would be sent to my room within the next fifteen minutes and I was to go up and wait, which of course I did. I was washing myself up in the loo when the man came into the room and I called out that I would be right out. I got silence however but I didn't think 'bout it much. When I walked out though the room was darkened, all the lights were out but one near the bed.'

'The man didn't say anything and I didn't move at first, I didn't know what was going on and frankly I was a bit afraid. This wasn't exactly in the rules, the lights never went out when I did tricks, even Lucius knew that. It was too intimate otherwise, and that was a luxury that except for...well...that night with you...I never allowed...' Remus said softly.

Petey tightened his arms round Remus and hugged him close, kissing him on the top of his head. 'That night was one I never forgot Remy...never wanted to. I can't thank you enough for what you did for me that night you know, even if it did take fifteen years to finally get what I always wanted...' he said with a deep sigh, though more of happiness than sadness.

Remus smiled and nodded his head. 'I'm glad you finally did Petey...you two belong together, always did.'

Petey chuckled at that and nodded, another soft sigh escaping his lips. 'I felt like I'd been lifted out of blindness when I finally admitted to Padfoot how much I did love him. Finish telling me though 'bout you and Severus? I'm curious now,' he said with a grin.

Remus chuckled. 'All right. As I was saying the room was dark, and I was apprehensive. I had taken a more than a few sniffs of opium of course whilst in the loo figuring I'd need it, so I wouldn't have to remember what was 'bout to most likely happen to me. Those American thugs always scared me, not as much as Lucius, but close. What I got though I wasn't expecting. The man was shrouded in shadows, I couldn't see his face, and then he spoke. I thought it was odd the man wasn't American after all but British, that much was obvious. Remember too I hadn't seen Severus in years, not since Hogwart's days, and I rarely left the club after I got there so I really didn't know he had changed so much in not only looks but his voice.'

'That's right, he had changed by then. Have to admit Severus did get much better looking then the slimy, oily, greasy haired Slytherin git we all knew. His voice got much deeper too, though being round him as much as I was I supposed I didn't pay that much attention,' Petey said.

Remus nodded and continued. 'I don't blame you for not noticing, you had and always will have only Padfoot on the brain,' he chuckled. 'Anyway, the man told me to close my eyes, and I did, though with my wolf instincts I could hear him slip out of the chair and walk over to me. I shivered then as I suddenly felt a cool, silky cloth on my face and I stood still, expecting that maybe this one was into something I hadn't done yet. Actually I never would allow any sort of bondage type things, and I had anyone who tried to tie me up or use 'toys' physically kicked out of the club. However he didn't tie me up or anything, just ran the silky cloth round my face and arms, like he was just playing with me...teasing me. Oddly enough though I calmed down, whether the opium was finally meshing in or just his whole attitude I could sense or both I don't know, but I was no longer afraid nor nervous.'

'He seemed to know when I relaxed, as if he could sense it, and then stopped teasing me with the cloth. He told me not to open my eyes however, so I didn't, but I was relaxed enough not to care. Then he handed something to me, a glass, and told me to drink. I remember thinking I hadn't remembered bringing any glasses into the room lately, the club didn't allow drinking in the rooms. Yet here this man was with a glass, and I drank whatever it was he gave me blindly. It tasted sweet, but I could tell it wasn't wine or champagne or anything else I'd ever drank. When I was done he took the glass and I heard him set it down on the table, and then the next thing I know he was behind me rubbing my shoulders gently.'

'I was surprised, his hands were so gentle, so warm yet I could tell they were hard working hands, strong and calloused. The more he massaged the more uninhibited I became, and soon he was doing more than massaging me. I could feel kisses on my neck, ears, cheeks and finally, although it was my rule never to kiss on the lips, again too intimate, he kissed my lips. I felt dizzy, drunk...it was the warmest, most tender, romantic kiss I think I'd ever had in my life. Yet a sad kiss, full of pity and even a hint of anger but I could almost sense it wasn't anger directed towards me.'

'I got lost in that kiss, how long it lasted I don't even remember. I do remember however that during the kiss he began to undress me, and when I was standing there eyes closed, completely naked I heard him gasp slightly, more in wonder than anything else. The next thing I remember he was tracing my scar with his fingertips, the most electrical touch I'd ever received. Normally I never let anyone near my scar of course, it's always been yet another rule that none of my tricks touched where I'd gotten bitten. This man broke the rules...and by the gods did I let him.'

'Then he moved and began to caress me in ways I never dreamed could be real. Tender, honest, open touches that were almost loving in a way. Gentle, probing, careful and every feathery touch send me into shivers and I couldn't help but to gasp and moan from them. Even Sirius had never touched me like that...and I couldn't do anything more than bend to this man's whim and will. I felt like I'd had the jellylegs curse put on me I was so weak-kneed. When he done caressing me he gently lifted me up and then I was on the bed...and then he was kissing me in all the places he had just touched. Liquid fire ran through me, I was helpless against this man...it felt so good I can't even begin to tell you.'

'Wow...you're giving me some interesting ideas here you know mate for the next I am able to tackle Sirius,' Petey grinned.

Remus grinned back and chuckled. 'Believe me, it works Petey, highly suggest you do use that tactic. Anyway, when I thought I could take no more of the teasing, taunting, incredible touches, caresses and kisses he brought me to heaven. That's all I could tell you it was, pure heaven. As we moved together...him so attentive inside of me, catering to me and me alone I thought...if I died right there and then I would die the happiest man on earth. His moans against my own...his whispers of my name in my ear in a voice that was like honey and wine and music combined melted me into oblivion. It was both pain and pleasure, blinding heat and passion enveloping me until I couldn't even think any longer.'

'I was being fed the ambrosia of the gods and when we released to each other...oh Merlin Petey...I thought I was going to die...it was so painful to have to come down to earth again...and all I could do was lie there in this mans strong arms was cry. I actually cried from the intense emotional, physically, mind shattering experience. I still didn't even know who he was but I cried like I never had before. And then...he whispered to me the one thing that changed my life forever..."Remus, my love...my wolf...why are you crying?"...and I stiffened at those words, tears frozen on my face and I opened my eyes to see why this man would say that.'

'I looked up into the warmest, sweetest pair of black eyes I'd ever seen...and they were smiling at me...dancing within the light of the single bulb still lit in the room. Black diamonds within milky white pools and full not of hate, or lust or fear...but love...and directed at me and only me. When I realised who those eyes belonged to...when I realised who it was who had brought to me heaven and back I laughed. I couldn't believe it was him of all people. In one fell swoop I'd lost my heart to my worst enemy, and I didn't care.'

'We spent the rest of the night in each others arms, making love, for that's what it was, two more times before the sun came up. Apparently Severus had paid for my services well into the next day as well, and though I wish I hadn't had to have taken his money he insisted, promising me he would come back again. During the night we had talked, and he told me he had known I was at the club, and had been keeping tabs on me ever since I had left Hogwarts. That he'd loved me even back then...even after he knew what I was...and always would, but that he felt pity for what I had become which is why he had done that for me that night. So you see it was pity at first...'

'But he still loved you, didn't he?' Petey whispered.

Remus nodded, and new tears flowed down his face. 'He loved me, Merlin yes he did. He felt sorry for me, for the life I was reduced into, for the men...the drinks....the drugs. After that night I didn't see him again for a year after that, and I wondered at that point if it had been real. The only thing that had kept it real was that every now and then money would find its way into my Gringott's account, and I knew it was him. I wouldn't touch it though, fuck no, I felt like I'd been betrayed almost, that although it had been heaven...that the money was to make up for what I was beginning to think was really nothing more than a 'pity fuck'. I began to doubt his words of love, and what I had felt.'

'What changed it? What made you believe?' Petey asked.

Remus smiled then, a soft, tender smile. 'He did. A year to the date from when he first came to the club I was told that my services were paid in full for the next five days. I was shocked to say the least, no one had ever done that, but when I was handed my pay packet with £10,000 in it, I knew it wasn't a joke. I went to my room in shock and I found a note there underneath a glass. Inside the glass was a strange yellowish liquid I'd never seen before. The note told me simply to drink it and ask no questions. I was hesitant but for some reason something made me drink it. As soon as I did I remembered that taste, the sweetness...it was the same thing that Severus had given me a year before.'

'I laughed when I finished the drink, and shook my head in wonder. Then I happened to see another note pinned to my pillows and it said to go to the Leaky Cauldron, that further instructions would await me there.' Remus said with a small smile.

'You went?'

Remus chuckled and nodded his head. 'Of course, I was curious now, and I had to know what it was that he had had me drink. I knew it was a potion by now, and again I felt so relaxed and calm I wasn't even angry any longer at him for ignoring me for a year. When I got to the Leaky Cauldron, Tom the Barkeep handed me another note. It told me to catch the International Floo Network Grates to a specific place, 'Villa Del Sole'.'

'That's Italian isn't it?'

'It is, it means the Villa of the Sun, and aptly named. When I arrived at the villa he wasn't there, but a house-elf told me to wait in a salon so did. I couldn't help however to step out onto the balcony and see the view, and what a view it was. The city was in full swing of Mardi Gras, and the sounds of gaiety and laughter, the song of the gondoliers all created a fairy tale like dream. The next thing I know his arms were round me pulling me to him and his lips were on mine, and the past year seemed like the dream instead of the reality. It was like yesterday we had met last, and for the next four nights he more than made up for his neglect of me.'

Petey sighed happily. 'How romantic. What happened next? Did you ever find out what the potion was?'

Remus laughed then. 'I did, turns out it was only a potion to stop the effects of the opium. In essence, what I had felt that night a year before, and what I felt for the next five days was not opium induced as I had thought. It was all him...and me...together as it should have been. Heaven turned out to be really...heaven. He said he had given me the potion because wanted me to feel him, not the drugs.'

'If it stops you from using the opium Remy, why don't you take it all the time then?' Petey asked puzzled.

Remus sighed then and shook his head. 'Unfortunately because of being a werewolf it would be deadly to me to take on a regular basis Pete. You see it contains a slight trace of silver in it and I'd be dead within a year or two if I take it daily. In small, infrequent doses I can tolerate it because my blood has time during the transformations to purge itself. Besides, it only curbs the effects, not the cravings really, it's still a struggle not to take the opium with the potion, I have to fight myself not to. When we go off together on hols now it's only for the five days, and I take the potion the whole five days because I know Sev hates me using the stuff. We have to always plan our hols round the time of the full moon too, so the potion won't stay in me long,' he said sadly.

'Well that's a crank isn't it,' Petey grumbled and hugged Remus again. 'Don't worry though, I'm sure Severus will think of something else to help you, he loves you so much.'

Remus sighed and again tears started to fall now. 'What if now he won't get the chance Petey? What if he dies in there? Oh Merlin...what will I do without him now in my life? We had hoped that...that eventually we could leave London...go away..far far away...Italy, France...Russia even...to get away from all of this. To grow old together without guns and shivs and death round every corner. Now though...oh Petey what will I do now?' he sobbed.

'Remy...Moony no...don't even think it. He won't die...they won't let him. Hell Moony Severus is a fighter you know that, he won't go down without a fucking fight...' Petey tried to say lightly.

'I can't think of life without him Petey...I swear to you...I swear before Merlin and Godric...I won't live either if he doesn't...' Remus said through his tears.

'No...no Moony, you can't do that. I refuse to let you. Why? Why would you even think 'bout something so stupid as killing yourself?' Petey asked in both fear and anger.

'Fuck Petey, don't you get it mate? Without Severus I have nothing...nothing! My contract to him would be voided...Lucius would take me and put me back to work. A life I don't want, that I can't do again. I can't Petey...I can't...without Sev to protect me...death would be a welcomed release from hell. When I have to still sit there and accept drinks, dances and have these...these...men...touch me...' Remus spat out and shivered a bit, 'I want to scream and kill them. I can't though, of course I can't. The only consolation I have is knowing it's only Severus in my bed...it's only Severus's arms round me, only his lips on mine. Without that protection...without his love...I would gladly take my death Petey,' Remus said with a deep sigh and a choked sob.

Petey sighed and again held Remus tightly to him, praying for all his life that Severus and his own beloved Sirius would be all right. He couldn't lose any of them, not now, not when so much was at stake. He'd heard briefly of the events that led him to now being here holding his best mate, and that had put his lover in Hospital. He couldn't blame Harry, he knew Harry wasn't at fault, just an innocent pawn in a deadly game.

Now that it was confirmed Voldemort was back, and willing to use whatever means necessary to get not only Harry, but whatever it was he had killed the Potter's for, Petey knew life had taken a sharp turn for the worse. As much as right now he wanted to scream, cry, tear apart things and be angry for all of this, he knew it wasn't the time nor place. Albus and the Marauder's would have to deal with all of this as it came up, and Petey knew if they couldn't do it, then death might just be a more viable option. For a world that would be retaken by Voldemort would be far worse than any empire Lucius had built.

Whereas Lucius was business, caution, and depravity at it's best...Voldemort was just pure death. A world in which Peter Pettigrew did not want to think about. He wasn't strong like Remus and Sirius, but he would die before he would let either of his friend be pulled back down again. Somehow he vowed, someway he would fight as hard as he could to protect them. He knew Remus wasn't kidding when he'd said he would rather die than be without Severus, and Petey knew that he probably would do the same thing without Sirius in his life. Though circumstances were far different, living without love was a burden he didn't want either.

Then again Peter didn't think he'd have the bravery to commit suicide either. A world without love for him would be harsh, but if he had a chance to rebuild it, to destroy the evils, even if it meant being alone and cold, he would rather do that. He would fight and fight hard for what he believed in, even if Remus couldn't. Making up his mind right there and then he knew even if Sirius did die, he wouldn't. Remus he understood though, death really would be his only choice, but not for Petey. He loved Sirius so much it hurt him, he would die to protect him, but he wouldn't die because of him. He would live, and fight, and he prayed that everything would turn out for the best in the end.

It was over two hours later when a shadow fell across the two men who were holding on to each other on the floor. Remus had fallen asleep finally in Petey's arms after crying himself out, so only Petey was awake and looked up to see who it was. It was Albus, and there was a haggard, worn look on his face as if he had suddenly aged 100 years in a few hours.

'Sirius?' Petey asked in trepidation.

'He'll be fine Peter, they've extracted the bullets now. His arm will need a few days to regrow, and they've stopped the toxins and are cleaning them out now,' Albus said softly.

'And...Severus? Is he...?' Petey half whispered, dreading the worst.

Albus sighed deeply and gazed softly down at Remus. He remembered this man as a child, how happy he had once been, how ecstatic he had been to be allowed to come to Hogwarts despite being a werewolf. It pained him deeply what Remus had become, and he wished there had been any other ways at the time to help him. 'They took the bullet out but...it doesn't look good. His lung wasn't fully repairable, it had collapsed too quickly. As easy as it is to regrow bones, I'm afraid internal organs are another matter. There is nothing in either Muggle nor wizarding medicine that can do that Peter. If he does live he will be plagued by conditions and ailments from this for the rest of his life. He will have to leave to warmer climates where it will be easier for him to heal and breathe.'

Petey sighed and groaned slightly. 'Will he live though? Please Albus...please tell me he'll live. If he doesn't then...then we'll lose them both,' Petey said quietly so as not to wake Remus. He didn't know if Remus would have wanted him to tell anyone what he would do if Severus died, but Petey felt Albus had the right to know.

Albus looked again at Remus sadly, knowing what Petey meant. 'He's very weak Peter, I wont deny that. Right now he's in a very critical state, if he can survive the next twelve hours without infections or the lung recollapsing, he will live, though as I said not the way he is accustomed to. It all depends on the next twelve hours.'

'Can I see him Albus? Please?' Remus's voice spoke up to both Albus and Petey's surprise, and wiping his eyes of sleep he sat up, looking straight at Albus. No longer though were his eyes full of tears, but determination and hope.

Albus debated on this for a moment, the nodded his head. 'You can both go in there now and see them. Sirius is still asleep as well, though Poppy said he should wake within the next few hours,' he said.

Petey scrambled to his feet then, hugged Remus, then Albus, tears of joy on his face. 'Thank you Albus, oh Godric thank you!' he said and before anyone could stop him he ran off to the infirmary, a lilt in his step.

Remus watched his friend go, and smiled slightly at how childlike Petey could be sometimes. It reminded him of so long ago a time in which James had gotten hurt, one of the many times actually one if not more of the 'original' Marauder's would end up in Hospital, and Petey had practically skipped at the news that James would be all right. He'd gotten bludgered badly to the head, and for a while it seemed touch and go, but James had pulled through like the typical Gryffindor. He was a fighter too, always had been.

'Remus...' Albus began now and put his hand on Remus's shoulder for a moment, a strange look in his eyes.

'Don't Albus. Don't placate me. I don't want to hear it, not from you,' Remus said shaking Albus's hand off his shoulder.

Albus's eyes twinkled then and he shook his head with a slight chuckle. 'I wasn't going to. Actually, there was something else I had in mind. Remus, you have as much knowledge of Dark Arts as Severus does, and there is something that I think might help him, as well as Sirius, and our young Harry. If you're willing that is,' he said, and now that familiar blue twinkle was blatantly clear.

Remus stared at Albus in surprise and shock. 'I haven't picked up a wand in fifteen years Albus. Except for the few minor healing potions I gave out today, I haven't even touched magic in that long. You're putting your faith in the wrong man,' he said bitterly.

'No Remus, I'm putting my faith in the right man with all the right reasons to do so. If anyone can save them all now it's you. I know that the spells and charms I'm thinking of aren't exactly allowable, but if you're really wanting to save Severus's life, and I know you do...I can get the Ministry to look the other way. It's up to you whether or not you want to choose life or death Remus, but for all our sakes I hope you choose the right path. You must let me know quickly though, these things take time to prepare,' Albus said firmly.

Remus gave Albus a steely gaze then glanced over at the doors to the infirmary, then looked back at Albus. Severus, his lifemate, the only man that had ever seen past the monster, needed him. For the first time ever Severus needed him instead of the other way round. Sirius, one of his best mates, his partner in hundreds of mischiefs back during school, needed him too now. And Harry, James son, the hope for the future...Harry need him even if the kid didn't even know who he really was yet.

He made a decision then and there, and he knew he wasn't going to regret it. The small brown bottle that had been in his hand even during his sleep fell to the ground with a clatter, and Remus didn't even bother to look at it. No longer was the drug going to control him, he was going to free himself, he belonged here at Hogwarts, as he should have all these years. He wasn't going to let the drug, Lucius, and especially not Voldemort destroy him again.

'Tell me what I have to do Albus,' he said now in a determined voice, the hint of the old Marauder sparkle gleaming in his eyes, and he held himself straight and proud for the first time in years.

Albus smiled and nodded his head, then wrapped his arm round Remus's shoulders and led him away from Hospital wing. 'This is a complicated series of spells and charms Remus, but I know you can do it. And if it works...then we all stand a chance...' he began to say as they headed down towards his offices to finish discussing what needed to be done so that the future would be assured.

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August 16, 2002 8:07 PM ©Piriotessa/Piri Lupin-Snape