A Change Of Seasons

Two weeks had now passed since that incident in the infirmary. Harry didn't really care that he had to have missed the first Hogsmeade outing, giving Ron and Hermione some excuses that he had some things to catch up on, even though Draco had recovered and had been released from the Hospital Wing 2 days after the incident. Harry made efforts to not get in Draco's way since, staying as far away from him as he could during classes and taking different routes daily to class. None of this of course was being unnoticed by the silvery haired Slytherin, and in turn, Draco was atleast to Harry's eye, becoming more and more perplexed.

It was an effort really on Harry's part to do all of this, and it was beginning to take a bit of a toll on him. His nights were sleepless almost, and his appetite wasn't up to his normal par after having been nearly starved all summer by Dudley's ever present dieting meals. Trying to avoid the side glances of Draco wasn't easy either, everytime he found himself unconsciously turning his gaze towards him, he could see the questioning look in his eyes, even if it was just the barest glance, but Harry always turned away, unable yet to give him the answers even he wasn't sure of.

It was the end of second week now and Hermione and Ron finally began to notice the strained looks on Harry's face, and his noncommited eating habits, along with everything else. Talking it over in private they finally confronted him on it in the common room later that night.

"Harry, is...is everything allright with you? You've not been your usual self since we got back from summer hols, and well frankly we're worried." Hermione said tentivately.

"Yeah mate, you've barely said a word bout Quidditch yet even, that's not like you a'toll Harry." Ron said giving him a once over stare.

Harry blinked in surprize. True he hadn't paid much attention so far this year and he knew he'd been trying hard to avoid Draco, but he hadn't realized even his friends were noticing. "Err, well, it's just that...well you know, long summer and all. Guess I'm just a bit tired. We've got the N.E.W.T.S this year and I'm err worried bout it is all." he said managing to flash a weak grin at Hermione. Hopefully she would buy this atleast even if Ron might not.

"Awe come on Harry, now you're starting to sound like 'Mione! N.E.W.T.S, of all things! Not like you have anything to worry bout there mate!" Ron said almost in disgust, while getting snorted at by Hermione.

"Well I think atleast one of you two has the right idea this term. Honestly Harry, if it was just bout the N.E.W.T.S you should have said something! And here Ron and I were beginning to think you were in love!" she laughed, Ron chuckling along with her and nodded.

"Yeah, you're looking pretty star struck there mate, almost like I was before I admitted me feelings to 'Mione." he said blushing her way and getting a soft smile in return.

Harry however was dumbstruck. In love? Love?!!! Of all things! "Hell no I"m not in love, what a stupid thing to think!" he said quickly and chuckled trying to cover up something internally he wasn't going to think infront of these two. Suddenly he had an overwhelming desire though to get away from his two best friends. He needed to think, and fast.

"Well personally mate I think it's high time you did find someone to well...you know...care bout. Really Harry it's quite err...wonderful." Ron said blushing again and gazing lovingly towards Hermione.

"If you're really worried bout the N.E.W.T.S Harry though I'll be happy to help you out you know, just give me the word. And I agree with Ron by the way, you're 17 now Harry, time you find someone too." Hermione said grinning at him.

"Err well, thanks for the vote of confidence guys, but I'll be allright. After all, not everyone is as lucky as you two eh? Look I have to take care of something, I'll see you in a while. And thanks for the help 'Mione, I'll be sure to ask when I need it." Harry said smiling back at them both, underneath though he was thinking a mile a minute. He really had to leave, and now. "Bye!" he said not even giving them a chance to respond and bolted out the portrait hole.

Catching his breath on the otherside, he hadn't a clue where he would go, he just knew he had to go somewhere's far away from the commons just then. Unfortunately it was late enough to warrant ducking curfew, not that Harry would have cared, he often times snuck out after lights out, though usually with his cloak. Muttering a quick curse to himself at forgetting it just then, and not wanting to be caught out infront of the Gryffindor commons by anyone either student or professor, he moved further down the hallway.

He found a small nook and whispered, "Accio Invisibility Cloak!" and was promptly rewarded with one of the few treasures he held most in his life. One of the last links he had with the parents he'd never known, and one of the few possessions he had that he truely loved. Sliding underneath it with 6 years of long practise, he found himself wandering through the hallways, unsure of where he was going even, only strange thoughts running through his mind.

He heard footsteps all of a sudden from behind him and ducked into a dark nook again, and almost gasped as he realized where he was. Somehow his feet had brought him almost to the Slytherin dorms area, and right now he was not more then 5 feet from the door to the potions classroom. Whoever was behind him though was approaching and quickly from the sound of it, so he stayed right where he was.

He couldn't see the person though yet as far back in the nook as he was, even with the cloak he still had the fears of always being discovered, but he heard the soft knock upon the door of the potions classroom, and gasped nearly in surprize at what he heard next.

"Who is it, what do you want?" he heard the voice of Snape say in his usual growl.

"It's me, open up." he heard to his surprize, the voice of Remus Lupin respond. Curious now what Remus would be doing down in the dungeons at this time of night, he risked peering round the corner of the nook, and right at the back of Lupin who was infront of the door.

A second later he saw the classroom door open, and expected Snape to make some horribly rude comments towards Remus at disturbing him, however he was moved into shock at what he heard and saw next.

"Your late." Severus said without his usual sarcasm, but in a matter of fact tone of voice.

"Sorry, little problem in the Hufflepuff wing and Flitwick needed some advice. Hope I didn't keep you waiting too long?" Remus said stepping into the classroom.

"Long enough wolf. I've better things to do then sit round all night. You'll have to make it up to me now you know." Severus said lowering his voice and surprizingly to Harry, a small smile played at the corners of his lips.

"Ah, I see. Perhaps then we should discuss my being late in more detail Professor?" Remus said in a somewhat huskier voice moving closer to the potions master.

Severus only looked at Remus for a moment then apparently lost his reserves. He never could stop himself when the werewolf used that tone of voice, and especially when Remus was this close to him. He quickly grabbed Remus by the back of the neck then and pulled him sharply against him, allowing himself to admire as always the warm feel of Remus against his body. Without a further thought, he pulled Remus into a kiss that was by no means tender, but was passionate, heated and more then definitely arousing. For a few moments neither of them moved, only the hushed sounds of a wayward moan seemed to fill the air.

Breaking the kiss off, Remus drew Severus away from the door towards somewhere's Harry couldn't see, but had every reason to believe was the way to the potion masters private chambers. The two of them were gone nearly 10 minutes before Harry finally moved from the hiding place he'd been in, his mind whirling with the scenes he'd just witnessed.

*Remus and...Snape...together? Is it even possible? I thought those two hated each other! Gods though...Remus and Snape, it's unreal....Yet it does explain the looks I saw, but still, those two together is like..well...good and evil!* Harry thought moving away from the nook and heading yet again in a direction he didn't even stop to think bout. His mind was still whirling when he finally realized he had found his way to the top of the astronomy tower, and without really thinking, he headed into what appeared to be a small unused classroom.

Taking off his cloak he made his way to a windowsill that was big enough to sit on, and sat overlooking the lake. He was trying still to piece together what he'd seen, and worse, the feelings that he was feeling by watching that little episode. Feelings that for two weeks he'd been trying to avoid, and even moreso, at the way his own body had reacted at seeing Remus and Snape together. Closing his eyes, he thought back to that day at the Hospital Wing with Draco, and of the dream he'd had.

He recalled every single detail of that dream, or rather nightmare, in which he'd had. Seeing Draco in his dreams wasn't a first time for him, he knew he'd dreamt of him before then, though he never really recalled of what it was they'd done in his dreams, and he never really wanted to know if how he usually felt after waking up after those dreams was any basis to go on. But this dream was different, this dream was almost, was infact, all too real for him. And what was even stranger was that he'd remembered it, in every sordid detail.

The dream had been of Draco's life, of his parents, of things that Draco had heard, seen, and to Harry's disgust, been done. The words of cruelty, the torment, the anger, and the last part of the dream...well of that he didn't even want to touch. But that wasn't all that he'd experienced during the dream, not by any means. And it was of that in which he'd been running from this past two weeks. That and his own feelings.

He knew by now that women weren't going to be a part of his life, he found this out after trying to date Cho Chang back in 5th year. It hadn't worked out but not for the reasons he gave her and everyone else at school. It wasn't because he was afraid for her, that was codswallop as Hagrid was fond of saying. The truth was, and he dared never to admit it to anyone, perhaps not even himself back then, was that he felt nothing when they were together. Not that he didn't care bout her, he did, just not in the way he thought he would. He found this out after the first time they had snogged.

He thought there would be fireworks, or atleast something, but there was nothing. Not the nightingales singing, not the heated arousal he'd expected to have like in the love stories of both muggle and wizarding novels alike, just nothing. He tried to brush it off, and attempted at making the relationship work for nearly 2 more months, but he finally realized it was neither doing him, nor her, any good to keep up the appearances. Finally, in a very gentle sort of way, he broke it off with her, and luckily she didn't mind and they were still friends though rarely saw each other now that she'd graduated.

At first he thought maybe it was because she wasn't the 'one', the one he was meant to be with and all that, till he realized differently. It was Dean and Seamus who really made him see the truth though. When the two of them came back last year from summer hols together looking happier then he'd ever seen them before, he realized that's what he too wanted. And he wanted that happiness from a man, not a woman. It took a while to get himself to admit he was that way, but in the end, it was no use denying it. And tonight especially he knew he couldn't.

Seeing Remus and Severus embrace each other like that made his own body respond, and he knew that had it been a a true sign that it was a male he craved. Someone who would hold him like that, kiss him, love him. Someone he would do anything for, even die for. Which somehow oddly enough, brought his mind elsewhere before he could stop it, and he gave a little sigh at the thoughts beginning to run through his head.

"Planning on jumping and saving Voldemort the time of killing you himself Potter?" a voice drawled from the door interrupting Harry's thoughts and making him jump nearly out of his seat.

"Ma-Malfoy! You stupid git, dont do that!" he said with a growl, turning to face his enemy.

"Why not? Scared or something?" Draco said again with the classic sneer and moved a bit further into the room. It had been only by chance that he couldn't sleep that night and found himself in the astronomy tower, and even more by chance that he'd found Harry in the one room he'd decided to peek into. He'd actually watched Harry for the past 5 minutes till he finally had decided to say something to him after hearing him sigh like that.

"How long have you been there anyway Malfoy?" Harry said void of emotion this time, and turned back towards looking out at the moonlit lake.

"Long enough. You know if you really want to die I can think up better ways to do it then jumping off the tower. Bit messy really." Draco said sitting down on one of the dusty desks, not taking his gaze off the back of Harry's head.

"For your information, I wasn't planning on jumping, though sorry to disappoint you and your family." Harry said in a huff turning back now towards Draco with a glare.

"Pity, my father might enjoy hearing of your untimely death, and probably praise me to the heavens for thinking I had a hand in it." Draco said meeting Harry's glare with one of his own. He was having a very hard time trying to think up retorts when Harry was apparently so alone, and so vulnerable right now if that sigh he'd heard from him was any indication.

"Would he though? I wonder..." Harry said in a different voice this time to Draco's surprize, causing Draco to look at him sharply.

"What do you care anyway Potter, you dont need to impress anyone." Draco said scathingly.

"You think it's so easy being me Malfoy? Living up to everyone's standards of being "The Boy Who Lived"? Of being told over and over you're the only hope of the wizarding world? Of seeing the people you care bout die at your own hands really?" Harry said softly but scornfully.

"I-I suppose I never really thought of it like that." Draco said without his usual sneer a bit stunned at how Harry had reacted to his comment.

Harry didn't respond to that, unsure really of what to say. He was tired of the battles in defending himself to everyone, and he had a strange feeling, so was Draco. The both of them sat in silence then for a few minutes, till Harry finally broke the silence.

"Malfoy?"

"Yeah Potter?"

"Why do you really hate me so much? Is it cause I wouldn't take your hand back in 1st year?" Harry said getting off the windowsill and walking dangerously close to where Draco was still sitting on the desk.

"I dont know Potter, not anymore. Maybe it was that back then, maybe it's because we're just meant to hate each other. Why do you hate me so much?" Draco said turning away from Harry.

"I could say cause your a selfish prat who cares for nothing but fame, power and money and because you're an evil git to boot...." Harry said but seeing Draco jump to the bait finished his comment. "But that's wouldn't be the truth."

Draco looked at Harry levely, wondering what to respond to that, and oddly enough found himself giving Harry a grin. "I suppose I deserve that Potter. Truth is a bitter pill sometimes. So what is the truth then?"

Now it was Harry's turn to grin. "I dont know Malfoy, not anymore then you do. Though I'm not sure I agree with the phrase 'maybe it's because we're just meant to'. Maybe it's been drilled into us for so long that we have to hate each other, we just dont know any different." he shrugged turning his mind for a second back to Remus and Severus.

"So...you saying then we dont have to hate each other Potter?"

"I'm just saying that maybe we've done what everyone else expected of us for so long we dont know any better that's all."

"And what, pray tell Potter, do you suggest we be? Friends?" Draco said masking his face to hopefully not reveal the tightness he suddenly felt inside his chest.

"Well, not enemies. Friends...has an odd ring to it though when it involves you and me Malfoy."

"Honestly Potter, can you really see us acting like friends infront of the whole school? People will think we've been possessed or something." Draco actually smirked.

Harry only chuckled though. "Agreed. But we can be civil to each other apparently, we're doing so now...and we did so a few weeks ago..." Harry said remembering again the time in the infirmary.

Draco looked back at Harry in surprize. He by no means forgotten the day, but his hope had began to fade these last 2 weeks with how much Harry had avoided him. "That was err...a mistake that's all. Stupidity." he said though trying to draw away his thoughts.

"Was it?" Harry asked softly looking at Draco now in a strange way.

"What do you mean Potter?" Draco said trying to interpret that look but failing.

Harry's mind was beginning to take some very odd turns. Suddenly being this close to Draco was having a strange effect on him he didn't quite understand. Maybe it was a leftover of the feelings he'd had from seeing Remus and Severus, maybe it was his mind replaying the events of the dream he'd had 2 weeks ago involving Draco, whatever the case was, he was suddenly feeling very strange.

Draco noticed this sudden shift in moods, and wondered if something had happened to Harry for he was suddenly looking a bit odd. "What is it Harry, you okay?" he said, not even realizing he'd called Harry by his first name.

Harry however caught it, but decided to say nothing at the moment. Finally he decided he had to know, had to know if what he'd seen was real, or really just a dream. "That night...in the infirmary...I had a dream..." he began.

"Dream? What...what kind of dream?" Draco said looking a bit odd himself now.

"About you. About your life. About..."

"No! Whatever you think you saw Potter, forget it, just forget it!" Draco said sharply and got up quickly and started to move to run out the door.

"It's true then, or you wouldn't be running away from me Malfoy!" Harry said in a strange voice and with his expert seeker skills grabbed Draco's arm to stop him.

"Dont Potter, dont do this, you dont want to know trust me. Just leave me be!" Draco said through clenched teeth, emotions of having Harry touching him again threatening to take over his sanity.

Little did Draco know however that Harry was equally feeling emotions at touching Draco again. Forgetting conventions, forgetting the dream even, Harry couldn't stop himself from what he felt this time. It was too much for him, and without saying another word, just as Severus had done to Remus earlier, he suddenly grabbed Draco's neck with his other hand and harshly brought the grey eyed Slytherin to him.

Without another word, not even realizing that Draco wasn't even fighting him, he brought his lips down hard to Draco's own lips, nearly crushing them with his own heightened sense of passion. Raw, complete, needed passion. And to his delight, and surprize, found that Draco was responding to it just as equally.

Neither of them knew how long they were there, all sense of time had long ceased to exist. However, just as suddenly as it had began, it ended. Draco pulled away, his thoughts in a mess, but he knew this wasn't right. He wanted Harry, gods know he wanted him and needed him, but not like this. Not while there was so much still between them. With a strangled cry he broke away from Harry, only giving him the briefest of painfilled glances, and bolted out the door before Harry could stop him.

As Harry watched Draco leave his mind raced. He couldn't have stopped Draco had he even wanted to, which he didn't. He barely could understand why he'd just done that, why he lost control like that with Draco, but he couldn't sort out enough yet to comprehend why. His lips still stinging from the heated kisses that had been exchanged, he gathered up his invisibility cloak and headed back down towards the Gryffindor dorms.

It didn't hit him until he was safely back in his bed a short time later that something had definitely happened in that astronomy classroom overlooking the moonlit lake. Suddenly he understood Remus and Severus, the coldness of the daytime, the heat and fire of the nights when they were free. And it made sense. With a plan forming in his mind, and a smile beginning to play on his still stinging lips, he began to drift off to sleep.

Right before he did however his sleepfilled mind realized something that made Harry's smile grow even deeper. Somewhere now he remembered hearing something during the kiss with Draco in the tower, he'd swear that even though it was the middle of the night...that he'd heard nightingales singing.

* * * * *

2002-02-23 1:25:04 AM