The Diary

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*Chapter 36*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*Hurt*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

~Lupin/Quinn Office, IDL Boston, Flashback~

"Got mail for ya, Lupin," spoke a man who popped his head into the office.

"Thanks Bill," she answered as she continued to work on her newest case file. A letter in heavy yellowed parchment appeared on her desk. "Hm, a letter from home."

"How can you tell?" Jon asked.

"Elementary, my dear Quinn. You Americans like to use muggle paper and this is heavy parchment so the only other people that would send me a letter are my family and friends in England. They must have put a general locator spell on the letter so that it would reach me wherever I was." She picked up the letter and looked over it. "Must be important," she said to herself.

"Why don't I get any mail?" Jon whined.

"Cause no one loves you."

"You're mean, you know that?"

"Must be the Slytherin in me," Kali said while smiling sweetly.

"I have no idea what I ever saw in you."

"Must have been the accent." She ripped open the letter and shrieked after reading it.

"What? What is it?"

"I'm a godmother!" She held the letter in front of her and read aloud, "Virginia and Draco Malfoy are happy to announce the birth of their daughter, Miranda Mya Malfoy on September 5^th, 1999."

"Godmother?"

"More like guardian in all honesty. Godmother just sounds better." Kali reached into one of her desk drawers and produced a pocket date book. "Now let's see, Holiday break doesn't start till mid-December and Thanksgiving is late November. The Ferris case goes to court in October and the Elliot case is next week."

"Yes," Jon sighed.

"Do you think you could cover for me for a few days here and there? I want to attempt to develop some sort of bond with Miranda and not have her forget me," Kali half asked, half pleaded.

"Fine fine, but you owe me," he answered, "I need a place to crash in England over Christmas."

"Deal, you can stay in Lupin Manor, but why?"

"If I told you, I'd have to kill you."

~Boston, Flashback~

A brown owl flew into the apartment and deposited a package in Kali's lap and flew off again.

"Fantastic! It came," Kali said excitedly.

"What came?"

"Nothing you need to know about yet."

"Does this have to do with that wedding you were invited to?" Jon asked, trying to weasel information out of her.

"You'll just have to wait and see just like everyone else," she replied happily, "That is, if you are still escorting me to my friend's wedding."

"Of course, you silly bint."

"You know... your English accent is really bad."

"Is not."

"Keep denying it if you wish but I warn you. Don't do it at the wedding or I'll be forced to thrash you," she threatened playfully.

~The Burrow, Flashback~

"This next song is dedicated to Hermione from Ron," Kali said as she began playing some chords of the next song.

It's a little bit funny this feeling inside
I'm not one of those who can easily hide
I don't have much money but boy if I did
I'd buy a big house where we both could live

If I was a sculptor, but then again, no
Or a man who makes potions in a traveling show
I know it's not much but it's the best I can do
My gift is my song and this one's for you

And you can tell everybody this is your song
It may be quite simple but now that it's done
I hope you don't mind
I hope you don't mind that I put down in words
How wonderful life is while you're in the world

I sat on the roof and kicked off the moss
Well a few of the verses well they've got me quite cross
But the sun's been quite kind while I wrote this song
It's for people like you that keep it turned on

So excuse me forgetting but these things I do
You see I've forgotten if they're green or they're blue
Anyway the thing is what I really mean
Yours are the sweetest eyes I've ever seen

So I hope you don't mind

I hope you don't mind that I put down in words
How wonderful life is while you're in the world

"Congratulations Ron and Hermione," Kali said at the end of the song, "and a Happy New Year to all." She took the Sonorus charm off and mingled with the other guests of the wedding.

Not five minutes after she began to mingle, she was snatched up in a hug. "You were wonderful, darling."

"Thanks, Dad, but I'm not done yet. I'm just on break, I have to go back and play again."

"Not before dancing with your old man," he told as he pulled her onto the dance floor.

Kali laughed as he twirled her once on the floor. "Dad, I really shouldn't."

"Have a little fun, Kali. You're half marauder after all. You have a reputation to uphold."

"I'm also an intelligence agent and have to show dignity and decorum at all times."

"To hell with decorum!" he shouted as they moved around the dance floor.

"May have this dance?" asked a woman who tapped Kali on the shoulder.

"Of course, Sara. I should be getting back to playing anyway."

"But who will dance with my handsome date?" she asked, "Just one more dance, Kali."

"Alright, I'll dance with him," Kali agreed, thinking she was talking about her significant other, Sirius.

Sara smiled brightly. "Excellent, he's just over there." She pointed toward the happy couple, but Kali didn't see Sirius.

"Sara, I can't," Kali pleaded, "I'm not ready."

"Pish posh!" She mumbled an incantation under her breath and soon Kali found herself in the least likely place.

All she could see was black. All she felt was soft velvet and warmth. Kali let a shuddering breath pass through her lips then breathed in the aroma. Even now, in all his formal attire and cologne, he still held that all too familiar scent that she grew to love. A scent she'd forever associate with quidditch and first loves.

"Kali?"

She looked up from her view and looked into the surprised face of Harry Potter. "Hullo, Harry."

"I... You look... You played beautifully."

Kali looked down as her cheeks became pink. "Thank you. You look... nice."

"As do you, Kali."

"Well, as long as we're being ignored, care to dance Mrs. Weasley?" Ron asked as he bowed.

"I'd love to Mr. Weasley."

Harry and Kali watched them begin to waltz. "Do you want to dance?" Harry asked.

"Ok."

"How is work?"

"It's good. I've gotten some assignments here and there but nothing big," she answered, "How is the academy?"

"Good, I can't wait to graduate next year and begin field work."

Kali laughed slightly. "Field work is not all it's cracked up to be," she stated plainly, "Bumps, bruises and mounds of paperwork; that's what it really is. They just fancy it up when they write their little pamphlets for impressionable youths."

"Kali, you make it sound as if we're old."

"Aren't we?" she asked in all seriousness, "We've seen more than our fair share of evil in this world. Sometimes, sometimes I worry about the future. Worried about whether or not I am too jaded for a normal life, if I can ever have a normal life being who I am." She paused as if what she was about to say was too difficult to do so. "I feel old, Harry, far older than nineteen and that scares me."

Harry held her close, closer than they had been for a long time. "Kali," he whispered into her ear, not knowing what else to say.

"Kaka."

Kali lifted her head from Harry's shoulder and smiled at the sight of Draco Malfoy and an antsy little blond baby. "Please take her."

Kali reached out to the child and Draco gave it to her. "How's my little Miranda? Are you giving your daddy trouble?" The baby cooed happily in response. "That's my little terror."

"Don't encourage her, Kali," Draco said, obviously annoyed.

"But that's my job. I get to promote mischief and suffer none of the consequences."

"Remind me to kill you later."

"Tsk tsk, Malfoy. Hurt not a fellow Slytherin while there are still Hufflepuffs and Gryffindors about," Kali smirked as she cradled the baby. "You're going to be a Slytherin aren't you, Miranda." The baby laughed.

"Dada."

"Ok, back to your daddy." Kali handed back her god daughter to her father. "I better get back to playing. If you'll excuse me."

"Wait," Harry said as he grabbed her arm, "I want to talk to you, alone."

Kali looked straight into eyes to see if she could find out what he wanted to talk about. "Alright, after Ron and Hermione leave we can go somewhere... together."

"What about Jon?"

Kali looked across the room and saw Jon flirting with a pretty brunette who wore her hair in a long plait down her back. "I don't think he'll mind."

~Dumbledore's Office, Hogwarts, Present Time~

"Is this a bit improper?" Kay asked.

"Why would it be?"

"Isn't it some kind of code that you can't mix personal matters with your job? Code Five subsection 'A' or something."

Harry stared at her for a bit then said, "That's exactly what code it is. How did you know that?"

"I took a guess and by chance, I was right. It was a fluke, just a coincidence."

Harry sighed and rested his head on the back of the chair. He closed his eyes and just sat there. "There are things you do that remind me of her. You... you know things that you shouldn't. You say things like she would. Just everything about you somehow reminds me of Kali."

"Well, I not her and I never will be," Kay told him, "I'm Kay Covington and whether or not my mannerisms are like hers... I don't know. All I do know is that I am who I am."

"I never said that I wanted you to be her."

"You didn't have to."

~Harry's Flat, Flashback~

As Kali entered the apartment, she took a quick glance around. "I see you've redecorated."

"Yeah, I needed something more presentable," he answered as he hung up his cloak.

"It's not the same without the clutter. It's not you and why does it have to be presentable?"

"For work," he answered simply.

"You're a graduate. Who else is going to see it? Draco? Ron?"

"Amelia Bones."

"Amelia Bones?" Kali asked, "As in the head of magical law enforcement?"

"Yeah."

"That's a bit odd isn't it?"

"She's wants me to take over when she retires."

Kali took a seat on one of the sofas adorning the living room. "That must make you happy."

"In a way," he replied, "Being an Auror is what I've always wanted."

"Don't lie, Harry. It's not you."

"How would you know?"

"That hurts, Harry," she said softly.

"And your running away didn't?" he countered as he slumped into an armchair that stood opposite her.

"Being an adult is hard."

Harry chuckled slightly, "That it is, but I guess that's the way the caldron cake crumbles."

"Too bad they never prepared us for this back at Hogwarts."

"With all the classes, near deaths, and attacks; I doubt that they could find any time to fit it into the curriculum."

"Though it was fun to be possessed by an ancient spirit, thrown into another dimension and then burst into song; I'd much rather have learned about how to deal with awkward situations such as the one I find myself in at the moment."

"Better get this over with then."

"I guess."

Harry sighed," I still love you, Kali, and I don't think I'll ever stop."

"Don't tell me that," she told him as she took an interest in the carpeting.

"Why?"

"Because, because it makes me feel guilty." She looked up at him and straight into his emerald green eyes. "It makes me feel guilty because, I never told you that I love you too. There's no one else for me, Harry, and there never will be."

In an instant, Harry had closed the distance between them. He pulled her head closer to his and kissed her with all the pent up feeling he had been holding since their parting. She met his kiss with equal enthusiasm. They broke apart moments later, panting heavily and staring questioning at each other. "I love you." Kali just smiled, knowing that he knew that she felt the same. Harry held her face in his hands resting his thumbs on her jaw line, slowly stoking it as he poured out his heart to her. "I want to make things work. I want to grow old with you. Watch our children grow up and probably marry our friends' children." Kali laughed though tears fell freely from her eyes. "I want to wake up every morning with a smile on because I woke up next to you. I want to be able to sit in my office staring at the clock, counting down the seconds till I can see you again. I want to love you, forever." He wiped her tears with his thumb. "Don't cry, Kal, or I might start."

"Too late." And she was right. Tears fell freely from his reddened eyes, just as they did with hers. "Harry, those were... it was all so beautiful, but I don't know if I can give you any of that. There's a part of me that is evil. I can feel it and I'm afraid. I'm afraid of what might happen if I lose control. I can't bear the thought of hurting you or anyone else."

"So you ran?"

"I didn't run!" she said as she broke free from his hold. She stood up and moved over to the window where she hugged herself as she stared out over the landscape. "I removed myself from being a pawn in the war. I made it so I wouldn't hurt anyone."

Harry stood behind her, not really knowing what to do. Then he wrapped his arms around her waist and leaned his head next to hers so that his lips were near her ear. "But you did," he whispered.

"I know, but... but I wouldn't take it back," Kali whispered, "Does that make me a terrible person?"

"No, it just shows your wisdom."

Kali ran her hands along his arms. "Harry, I can't promise that I won't leave again."

"I know," he said as he nuzzled her neck, "But that doesn't mean we can't cherish our time together now"

~Dumbledore's Office, Hogwarts, Present Time~

"I'm sorry if I made you feel that way, Kay," Harry apologized.

"It's ok, it was foolish of me to think that we'd ever have a relationship," she said, "It was just a stupid schoolgirl crush, a stupid fantasy that got an opportunity to actually happen."

"Kay, I'm..."

"Save your apologies, Harry. I just wish that this mess could have been avoided." She laughed to herself, "First, I fall for a Death Eater then a hero who will never forget the past and remember the present." She then left the room without another word.

Twenty minutes later, Harry was still in the Headmaster's office alone when the door opened. "Harry?"

"In here, Mione," he called out.

After looking her best friend up and down she asked, "Didn't go as well as you planned?"

"Far from it. When did life get so bloody complicated?"

"For me, it was when I lied to help these two boys who saved my life from a mountain troll."

"Very funny."

"Harry," she said more seriously, "life's always been complicated."

"When I finally start dating someone and start having serious thoughts about the relationship, I find out my wife who's been dead for ten years is alive. Am I cursed?"

Hermione walked around the desk and hugged him. "No, you're Harry Potter. I know it was hard for you to date Kay, but with Kali being alive... perhaps you threw her away without another look. We all want Kali back, Harry, but there is the chance that she won't be back and if that happens, where does that leave you?"

~Covington's Office, Hogwarts, Present Time~

Flustered from her talk with Harry, Kay began to shuffle papers around and reorganize her bookcases. "Professor Covington?"

Kay dropped the papers she was holding and they scattered everywhere. "Well if it isn't the trio of troublemakers; Malfoy, Potter, and Weasley," she smiled, "What can I do for you?"

"What's going on with you and my dad?" asked Thomas.

"And what's up with my dad?" Rhiannon piped up.

Her smile faded. "I can't tell you that. That is something you should discuss with your fathers."

"But, Professor..."

"I'm sorry, Thomas, but I really think you need to talk to your father." She gathered up the paper she'd had dropped. "I have a class to teach and I believe you three have a class too." She walked out of the office, leaving the confused trio in the room.

"That was weird," Rhiannon voiced.

"She dropped something," Will said as he bent down and scooped it up. He turned around in his hand. "It's pretty."

Rhiannon snatched it out of his hand. "We should probably return... oh my."

"What is it?" asked Thomas.

Rhiannon began to fiddle with trinket then gasped, "Thomas, I think you need to see this."

She handed Thomas the necklace and waited for his reaction. "It's... it's my parents," he gasped.