- Rating:
- G
- House:
- Riddikulus
- Genres:
- Parody Humor
- Era:
- Multiple Eras
- Spoilers:
- Philosopher's Stone Chamber of Secrets Prizoner of Azkaban Goblet of Fire Order of the Phoenix
- Stats:
-
Published: 10/12/2003Updated: 10/12/2003Words: 2,952Chapters: 1Hits: 725
Bohemian Rhapsody
ph0enixxxxx
- Story Summary:
- It's Christmas at Hogwarts, and some of the students can't help singing. Five Gryffindors and a couple of Slytherins get mixed up in Bohemian Rhapsody whilst figuring out their own problems.
- Posted:
- 10/12/2003
- Hits:
- 725
- Author's Note:
- Well, I basically tried to write a story around the song, Bohemian Rhapsody, and made the plot a little relevant to the lyrics. Hopefully it’s a bit of a laugh.
Hermione looked up into the sky; fluffy white clouds were everywhere, but that didn't mean the sun wasn't shining brightly. Flopping back spread-eagle on the thin layer of damp snow, she placed her gloved hands behind her head and sighed.
"Is this the real life?" she sang. "Is this just fantasy?"
Nothing felt right at the moment. Hermione felt like...Hermione didn't know what she felt...Something was wrong.
"Caught in a landslide, No escape from reality," she sang up to the skies.
Maybe it was because she was getting older, wiser, more knowledgeable, if that was even possible. Turning her head to the left, she stared over the gigantic frozen lake to the other side; the Slytherins sat in a large pack of Green and Silver between the mounds of white snow. Their cackles echoed across the water, and the murmurs of their conversations managed to shyly reach Hermione's ears.
Draco Malfoy caught a glimpse of Hermione staring and showed her something that was all too familiar: a piercing glare. She rolled her eyes progressively and stared back up at the sky.
"Open your eyes, Look up to the skies and see..."
"Hermione!" Ron had stuck his head into Hermione's view.
"Ah!" she squeaked.
Hermione jumped as far as scientifically possible whilst lying on the ground. She sat up unsteadily and looked Ron in the eager eyes.
"You scared me!"
"Well, Mission Accomplished then," he said simply.
Hermione tutted and crossed her legs. Together the two of them looked out to the icy lake, and took turns to sigh. Both of them turned to look at each other once more.
"Alright," began Hermione. "What's wrong with you?"
Ron looked out over the frozen lake nervously, and then flipped over on his stomach. He looked longingly into pure snow and began to sculpt a snow ball in his hands, he juggled it nervously.
"I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy..." he sang musically. "Because I'm easy come, easy go. A little high, little low..."
"Oh, Ron," she said fearfully, "I'm really sorry -"
"I don't need your sympathy," he told her once again.
Hermione comforted Ron in a soft voice and laid a hand on his back, "You know no matter what happens Harry and I will be by your side."
Ron nodded and turned to Hermione. "Anyway the wind blows, doesn't really matter to me," Hermione smiled and kissed him gently on the cheek... "to me..."
***
Neville Longbottom walked solemnly into his mothers room; a sad song issuing from his frown.
"Mama, just killed a man...put a gun against his head," he sang as he sat by Alice's side, "pulled my trigger, now he's dead..."
It was all too often he had been here before, in St Mungo's Hospital, holding his mothers hand, looking at her softly with remorse. 'But why?' he thought. 'I wasn't the one who did this, I shouldn't feel guilty.'
The same feelings had struck Neville as they did every Christmas, he couldn't help it. Him, the Evil Lord -
"Voldemort!" he shouted up into the low ceiling, as if talking to someone above. "There, I said it!"
His mother looked longingly into his eyes as he spoke. 'I'm sorry,' he said mentally. But it was true, Voldemort had ruined his life, his parent's lives, as a matter of fact he had ruined everyone's life in one way or another...
Casting his hand out in front of her, Neville pushed a piece of wispy light hair behind his mother's ear.
"Mama, life had just begun," he told her in song.
"Don't worry," he told her. The same two words he told her over and over again. But of course she wasn't going to worry! She didn't have anything to worry about any longer. Neville wasn't even sure if she understood him.
"I'm at Hogwarts, remember?" he asked her hesitantly. "I'll - I'll get a good job..." His mother smiled unwarily. Neville's face lit up in return, "I'm only a couple of years away from Graduating."
Neville squeezed her hand, he had to admit things weren't working too well at school though.
"But now I've gone and thrown it all away...Mama, ooo"
His mother stared at him...she stared, stared and stared. They sat in silence until she cried.
"Didn't mean to make you cry," he lamented.
Neville held his mother in a hug until she couldn't weep anymore. He placed her hand down softly on the bed, and let go. He could tell she didn't want to release his hold...but he was let free...
Journeying to the door, he looked back one more time, "If I'm not back again this time tomorrow...Carry on, carry on, as if nothing really matters..." and he left with the last sweet note.
***
"Too late, my time has come"
Harry stared down fixatedly at the photo album. There they were, Lily, James and Sirius...
'How could they all be gone?' he thought miserably. 'Everyone I ever really loved.'
He looked at his mother and father foremost...he couldn't take his stare off of Lily's eyes.
'Like mine,' he thought proudly.
A smile crept onto his face. Harry wished he could have told his mother and father all about his adventures, what he had inherited. He wished he could tell them about the spells, friends, classes and teachers. But if his parents hadn't gone, he wouldn't have any of this. He wouldn't have to face the Dark Lord, he wouldn't have to work tirelessly to silently save the word and face all the Darkness.
"Sends shivers down my spine," he sang to the photo, "body's aching all the time."
Harry knew he'd have to face Voldemort once more, maybe twice, maybe more. It was becoming a ritual to face Darkness at least once a year.
'What if I die?'
What if Harry died tomorrow? Would the world come to an end? He wouldn't be able to say goodbye properly, like his parents and Sirius didn't. Harry knew he was scared - the problem was that no one else knew.
He had to 'face the music'. Stand up for fate.
Harry looked down at the Photo Album once more. The three of his relatives smiled broadly and waved to him energetically. If only I could hug you all again, touch you, maybe even talk to you...
Standing up sadly, he closed the Photo Album, resting it in his trunk. As he walked to the window bench, he sang sadly, "Goodbye everybody - I've got to go, gotta leave you all behind and face the truth..."
With one last look out the frosted window, he saw the swarming snow, "Mama, ooo - (anyway the wind blows.)"
And at that he exited the room, with a lingering tune, "I don't want to die...I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all..."
***
Hermione scaled the Hogwarts halls in her damp thick coat. Her hair had become flat and wet from play fighting with Ron in the snow. (Ron had thrown a few too many snow balls!)
Beginning to shiver, Hermione stopped abruptly to sneeze.
"Ewwww," Hermione heard a belonged moan. "I've got Mudblood snot all over me."
Hermione looked up to the pale skinned, pink cheeked Draco Malfoy. His fingers were also looking a little frost-bitten on the ends. "I see a little silhouetto of a man," she hummed softly.
"Sorry," spat Hermione sardonically.
"Ease up," said Draco mildly, "I didn't curse you or anything. I just pointed out that you sneezed on me."
Hermione shrugged slightly and looked to the wall beside her, as though she couldn't look him in the eye.
"I should curse you though," said Malfoy, his voice suddenly rising in conceitedness. "You are enormously rude for someone so smart."
Hermione's eyes opened a little wider than she expected. She relaxed her look. "Was that a compliment mixed up in criticism?" she asked smartly.
"Stop dancing with my words, Granger!" he snapped. "You know what I meant."
"Scaramouch, Scaramouch will you do the fandango?" Hermione continued to sing to herself with a little giggle,
"What?" she asked. "Are you trying to tell me I'm smart?"
"Exactly," Malfoy looked confused. "No! No, that's not what I meant!"
Hermione smiled cunningly. Why does he appeal to me? He's horrible...horribly handsome. 'Stop that!' she told herself.
"Thunderbolt and lightning - very very frightening me;" this time Malfoy gave her and odd look; he must have heard.
Hermione's mind was going a million miles an hour. She was answering herself back; arguing inside her head.
'Maybe if I tell him how I feel, give him some kind of hint!'
'How about NO!'
'Yes?'
'No...now.'
'Do it now.'
'Now?'
Hermione's mind was in jumbles.
"Gallileo, Gallileo," she sang mentally.
'He's staring at you with that glare! Do something!'
'Do what?'
'Who cares!'
"Gallileo, Gallileo,"
"Look," Hermione said hastily, finally relieved to get a word out, "I was wondering. I mean, I can tell you don't like Pansy - I know you're in Slytherin. How about - Okay here goes."
"What the hell are you talking about, Granger?" he spat tonelessly. "What do you mean you can tell I don't like Pansy?" his voice was beginning to get protective.
"I'm just going to put it like this," she said quickly. "I was thinking - thinking for a long time now and..." Hermione trailed off, and then suddenly spoke so fast it took Malfoy a moment to react, "How about we set our differences aside?"
Malfoy just stood there...and stood a little longer, until he uttered a comment quietly, "Have you been smoking something?"
"No!" Hermione was offended. "I'm serious! How long has this fighting been going on?"
Malfoy just stared.
"I'm sick of it, Harry's sick of it...Ron...he's...Ron..."
Malfoy just narrowed his eyes and turned around. "Stupid Mudblood," he murmured.
Hermione followed behind him, right on his feet.
"Malfoy!" Malfoy continued to keep walking.
"Get away from me, Granger," he hissed without turning to look.
Hermione stopped on the spot and spoke stiffly, "Draco."
Malfoy stopped where he was, shuddered and shook his shoulders, and then turned with an evil smirk planted on his face.
"What did you just call me?" he asked softly.
"You heard me," she said apprehensively.
Malfoy began to walk in closer, shooting piercing looks like darts.
"What makes you think you can call me that?"
"Well I thought -"
"Don't think anything," he said sternly. His voice became softer than normal; it was a side that Hermione had never witnessed before. "If -" He swallowed heavily. "If we agree to put our differences aside, it's going to take effort not to hate you." Hermione frowned. "And vice-versa," he added.
"Can't we all try..."
Malfoy shook his head frantically, "No," he spoke rapidly. "You're just crazy and have way too much Christmas cheer in you, or something. Slytherins have despised Gryffindors for over a century -"
Hermione gave in, "Fine...fine!"
"Glad you see it my way," jeered Malfoy. Turning on his heel he walked away.
Hermione looked down to her hands where she was twiddling her wand, and sighed energetically. 'Maybe...just maybe it's not meant to work...' Just as she giggled to herself for thinking she could ever talk sense into Malfoy, a voice rang down the corridor.
"How did you know I don't like Pansy?"
Hermione looked up with a smile for Malfoy, Malfoy smiled shyly in return.
"Galileo Figaro - MAGNIFICO!"
***
"Hey, Ginny, what you reading," Ron sat down next to Ginny and peered over her shoulder.
"Nothing," she said lazily.
"Looks like something."
Ginny grunted.
'Jesus,' thought Ron. 'There all lining up to talk to me tonight!"
Standing up in the center of the Gryffindor common room, Ron put his head down and began to sing aloud, "I'm just a poor boy and nobody loves me," Ginny gave a sideward glance and began to sing sweetly, "He's just a poor boy from a poor family."
Hermione looked up from her book, "Spare him his life from this monstrosity."
Ron took another chance and sat next to Hermione who was sitting by Harry.
"Hey, Ron," she said with a smirk, "how are you feeling?"
"Better," he admitted, "a bit better."
"That's good," Closing her book softly, she confronted Ron, "Well I'm going to go have a short rest before we eat dinner."
"But - but," Ron was trying to make her sit down again. He wanted company, but Hermione didn't exactly feel like helping.
"Easy come easy go - will you let me go?" she asked.
"Bismillah! No - we will not let you go," Ron had grabbed Hermione's arm, causing her to drop her book.
"Let him go," sang Ginny.
"Bismillah! We will not let you go," began Harry.
"Let him go," fought Ginny, raising from her chair.
"Bismillah! We will not let you go," sang Harry and Ron unison.
"Let me go!" sang Hermione. Everyone stopped where they were, letting Hermione speak, "I'm sorry, Ron, I really don't feel like talking at the moment."
"Will not let you go," he sang musically.
"Let me go," argued Hermione.
"Never let you go."
"Let me go!"
"Never let me go - ooo," Ron let go of her arm gently, and looked at her reluctantly, "No, no, no, no, no, no, no," he hummed tunelessly to himself.
Ron watched Hermione ascend up the stairs as he worried about what she might think. What could she possibly say?
"Oh mama mia, mama mia," he sang aloud, rising from where he was sitting, "mama mia, let me go..."
The time was running out, he had to do it soon; but what would she say if he told her he wanted to get out of here, leave school and never come back?
***
"Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me."
A gentle singing voice bounced around the Slytherin common room as Malfoy flipped his wand admiringly in his hand.
Turning to the armchair next to him, Malfoy noticed Pansy sitting with her mouth open and a petrified glare on her small face.
"What," began Pansy, "the hell...was that?"
Malfoy felt his cheeks slightly burn pink
"Nothing," he said timidly. "I just had the urge to...to sing..."
"You have to be joking," she cackled lightly as she held her hand to her chest.
Malfoy hissed lightly in her direction.
"What is wrong with you?" she asked, as though she cared, "You haven't bad mouthed anything that the Mudblood spoke to you about, and it's almost dinner time."
Malfoy turned his head so quickly his hair flicked out of placed, "You heard us?"
"Yeah, I would've heard more but McGonagall found me and told me to go find Snape. Anyway - she was saying something about how you should set your differences aside," Pansy laughed fake heartedly. "It sounded as though she was trying to unveil her undying love for you or something."
Something clicked in Malfoy's head, he began to feel dazed, revolted and then it all seemed clear. 'Hermione Granger...' he thought with a smile on his face, 'that stupid Mudblood's in love.'
"For me," sang Malfoy. Pansy began to look revolted, "for me..." he finished.
***
It was dinner time on Christmas day, and everyone sitting at the table was a little... edgy...
There were about seven Slytherins there all together, six Gryffindors and two Ravenclaw. There were never many Hufflepuff during Christmas.
The teachers were in a moderately cheerful mood, all except for Snape, who was staring at the golden plate in front of him, as though it was talking. The Professors were only as happy as they could be; keeping in mind the fact that Sirius Black had been killed not too long ago.
Malfoy and the Slytherins on the other hand, didn't seem to care about this 'Sirius Black' man. The two Ravenclaw girls that were at the table looked no older than thirteen, they were more unaware than anyone.
The Slytherins, all on one end of the table, were going on with life as usual. Pansy kept giving Hermione strange glares, and baring her teeth like a wolf. 'I know what you're up to,' she told Hermione mentally.
Suddenly Pansy stood up from where she was sitting and launched into song, pointing her hand right at Hermione.
"So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye?"
Harry was looking at his plate in the same manor as Snape, though looked up the same time everyone else did. He saw Pansy jeering with song at Hermione, and shot up from where he was sitting, singing up to the ceiling.
"So you think you can love me and leave me to die?"
Malfoy was feeling too awkward at the moment. He couldn't help it, so he stood up and sang strongly towards Hermione.
"Oh baby - can't do this to me, baby!"
Ron took noticed, stood up and joined the lead. "Just gotta get out - just gotta get right outta here," he sang.
Ginny stared down the table and stood up slowly, "Ooh yeah, ooh yeah.. nothing really matters..."
Ginny began to sing her heart out, for the first time in her life, telling people how she really felt. "Anyone can see," she sand sweetly, "nothing really matters..." she paused looking from Malfoy, to Hermione, Harry, Pansy and Ron, "...nothing really matters, to me..."
With now knowing about Malfoy, Pansy and Hermione with their confused love triangle, Ron with his money and school problems, Harry with the remorse of losing his parents, and Ginny with the fact that she just didn't care about any of this any longer, they all sat down gently...Looking at each other, they all sang in unison.
"Anyway the wind blows..."
***
~Fin~