A Bake Sale in Slytherin

A Bake Sale in Slytherin (or a tale of a fair maiden)

"I met a new girl at a barbecue. A very pretty blond girl, I think. I don't know for sure. Her hair was on fire. And all she talked about was herself. 'I'm on fire!' You know the type. 'Jesus Christ, help me! Put me out!' Come on, can we talk about me a little bit." - Gerry Shandling

It was a clear beautiful morning in late May, the kind of day where you expect there to be a ravishing heroine clad in white, making her way through the forest picking flowers for her lover. To be fair, Ginny Weasley was wearing white. Although whether she was exactly ravishing heroine material was yet to be decided. Her hair was long and thick but red was not a traditional heroine hair colour and her small freckled nose left much to be desired in the beauty front though it was right up there in 'cute as a button'. Parvati Patil or Cho Chang would have made a much more suitable heroine that day. Ginny was more for one of those average days, the ones where the heroines actually have to do things, Minerva reflected.

Minerva McGonagall first knew something was wrong when the Slytherins organised a Death Eater Youth Bake Sale. Out in the courtyard of Hogwarts, Draco Malfoy and his team of Slytherins had set up tables and were currently selling all manner of magical bake goods, from exploding cupcakes to pepper-imp creams. Something had to be done, Minerva decided. The house had gone quite mad. She summoned Albus Dumbledore and Severus Snape to Dumbledore's office.

"Something must be done," She said, pointing to the spectacle outside. Blaise Zabini was currently exhorting all her charms to get Gryffindor first years to buy lust cookies.

"Boys will be boys, Minerva," Albus said, beaming jovially, as he was wont to do.

"Professor Dumbledore," Severus Snape put in, sounding scandalised. "Blaise Zabini is female."

"Yes, yes," Albus said, patting Severus patronisingly on the head. He removed his hand rather quickly and wiped it on his robes, grimacing slightly. "Anyway," he continued. "What can I do?"

"You are the headmaster Albus," Minerva said. "And this is illegal."

"I'm the headmaster?" Dumbledore said, looking worried. "Are you sure?"

Minerva sighed and rolled her eyes. "You haven't taken your pills, have you?" She swept from the room, Snape hot on her heels.

"Having a bake sale is not illegal, Minerva," Snape hissed.

"It is when you're advertising becoming a minion of Voldemort," Minerva said dryly.

"Prove that they're doing that," Snape whispered, his black eyes gleaming.

Minerva raised her eyebrows. "First of all, they're Slytherins. What else would they be raising money for? Starving kitten awareness week? Secondly, the posters. 'Join Voldemort's minions today!', 'A cookie a day helps your Death Eaters play', 'Death Eaters get their girls'..."

Severus Snape frowned. "I really don't see how that proves anything, Minerva," and with that he drew his billowing robes around him and slid out of the room. You could almost hear the dramatic climax.

"Oh honestly, if you were anymore dramatic you'd spontaneously combust," Minerva called after him. This was rather unsatisfactory since he couldn't hear her. She decided to take a look at the bake sale, first hand. With a flick of her wand, she transfigured herself into a ferret.

Her senses were different as a ferret. She could hardly see but she could smell Dumbledore's hygiene problem a mile off. Scampering down the steps, she reached the hub of the Bake Sale. Very few students from Gryffindor were there, although she could almost see a ferociously redheaded person being held back by two others as he tried to get to the food. Ron Weasley, she thought.

Another wave of red hair swept by her, accompanied by another head. But whose? They appeared to have no hair and she was too far away to see properly. She chased after them into a clearing in the forest and almost fainted with shock.

*

Draco Malfoy smirked and raised his eyebrows at Ginny Weasley who was looking decidedly odd in a long white dress. "What's with the dress, Weasley?" he drawled.

"And the gel, Malfoy? How do you explain that?" she retorted.

"My hair is one-hundred percent original. Count the trophies," he snapped, before remembering his ultimate purpose of the rather unappealing chat up line. "Wanna disappear for a while, Weasley?" he leered.

She widened her large doe-like eyes at him. "Think you're man enough for me, Malfoy? After all, according to the rumours I've dated half the school and then some."

Draco's smirk widened. "I think I can cope." They ran off into the Forbidden Forrest. Unbeknownst to them, something was following them.

*

They arrived in the clearing and stood awkwardly for a moment. "Why do you want me here, Malfoy?" Ginny asked.

"'Tis bad luck to answer a lady's questions," Draco said, smirking.

He was pushed against a tree and a wand was pointed at his hair. "I'd think that at this point it would be worse luck not to," Ginny said, eyes blazing. "Answer me, or the hair gets it."

Draco gasped. "Why you conniving little..."

"Stow it, Malfoy. Answer the question," Ginny said, the wand was getting uncomfortably close and Draco couldn't help but notice the her body was pressed unnecessarily close to his.

His cool exterior gave way to desire. "Because you make me laugh, Weasley, and not many girls can do that."

"And what else?" Ginny was clearly not impressed.

Oh screw it, Draco thought, and he kissed her hard. As kisses went, it wasn't the greatest. Draco had far too much unreleased energy for it to be passionate or romantic and Ginny was too shocked to respond appropriately. However, as the time went by, they fell into it. Draco's hands caressed Ginny's freckled shoulders and she sighed and cuddled closer to him, her warm body pressing against his.

"Mister Malfoy! Miss Weasley!" They sprang apart guiltily as Professor McGonagall emerged into the clearing. "I have never been more shocked in my life! Fifty points from each house and get out of here immediately. Your behaviour is entirely inappropriate. Be glad I don't speak to Professor Dumbledore about this!"

Ginny giggled and, together, she and Draco sauntered out of the Forbidden Forrest. "So..." Draco said, staring at her as they reached the edge of the bake sale.

"Tomorrow night at eight o'clock, third floor corridor?" Ginny replied, in response to his unanswered question.

"You're on!" Draco said, leering. "Now, I'd better tell Blaise and the others to stop seducing the first years. The Bake Sale was to keep the teachers occupied!"

"Sneaky," Ginny replied with a grin and, tossing her head, she retreated to the castle.