The Adventures of Harry and Dudley

"What do you mean we can't get back in?" asked Dudley.

"I mean the door locked behind us on the way out. Since neither of us remembered to bring a key- well, you didn't bring it, I don't have one- we can't get back inside."

"Can't get back inside?" Dudley said stupidly, like the words were too hard for him to understand.

"Yes," said Harry. "We can't get back inside."

"Are you sure?"

"Try the door," Harry bowed and Dudley waddled past him to grip the door knob, trying to open the door that, Harry was quite positive, wouldn't open.

After about 30 seconds of trying to open the door by the knob, Dudley said, "We'll have to break it down."

Harry looked at his cousin quizzically. "Break it down? How?"

"Well, we can take running starts at it and hit it with our shoulders," Dudley explained.

"Dud, that doesn't even work in movies!" Harry said, exasperated. It was true. Harry had never seen a movie where throwing yourself at a door got it to open. It was more likely to give you a dislocated shoulder. Then again, Harry thought as he looked at Dudley, he is rather enormous and a lot of the fat had turned to muscle since he started boxing...

"It'll never work," Harry decided and said out loud.

"I've got to try! Mum and Dad'll be furious if they have come home early on account of us!"

"You're really going to do try this?" asked Harry in disbelief. Dudley nodded solemnly. "Then let me out of the way," Harry said, moving to stand behind one Aunt Petunia's shrubs.

Dudley moved about25 to 30 feet away from the front door. Then, running as fast and hard as he could, huffing and puffing as he went, he put his shoulder down as he reached the door and-

*THUD* Dudley's shoulder hit the door hard, but he bounced away, much like one of those rubber super balls does when you throw it against a brick wall.

The door, Harry saw, hadn't budged. Dudley lay on the ground, clutching his shoulder, moaning in pain.

"I told you it wouldn't work," Harry said, trying not to laugh too much.

"Why don't you try?" Dudley asked him.

"Because if someone roughly the size and weight of a baby killer whale couldn't break it down, what makes you think that I could?" Harry had said this to get on Dudley's nerves, but Dudley seemed to have missed the insult. He was obviously thinking, something Harry found tough to believe.

"We could try the windows," said Dudley.

"Yeah, I guess...just remember, call me if you have to climb through the windows. Trying to sneak in and keep me locked out won't work," Harry said. He could see Dudley trying to keep him out all weekend.

"Why should I call you?" Dudley asked.

"Because," said Harry, sniggering a little, "you might get stuck in the window, and that would put both of us- well, mostly you- in a tight spot, wouldn't it?"

"How do I know you won't lock me out?"

"I won't."
"How do I know that?"

"Because I've never been that mean. But other than that, you'll just have to trust me," said Harry with a half grin and a shrug.

Dudley looked quite skeptical about this idea. Harry couldn't see why...well, actually, that wasn't true. Harry could see why Dudley didn't trust his cousin, his cousin's friends, and the wizarding world completely. The wizards Dudley had met hadn't exactly been angels to the Dursleys...

The year before he started at Hogwarts, Hagrid came to save Harry from the Muggle world. As a parting gift, Hagrid gave Dudley a pig tail that they had to have surgically removed. The summer before second year, Harry had nearly knocked out the bedroom wall. Well, okay, Fred, George and Ron Weasley and had done it to save Harry, but they had escaped in a flying car. Third year, he blew up Aunt Marge, who'd deserved it, and left in a huff. Two years ago the Weasleys had flooed into the Dursley's blocked fire place, and then had to blast half the living room apart to get in. Then Fred and George had dropped some of their experimental ton-tongue toffees and Dudley ate one of them. His tongue grew to four feet long before Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia let Mr. Weasley shrink it. Last summer, Dudley had nearly gotten his soul sucked out his mouth be a Dementor. But other than that stuff...

Harry had a mental battle with himself over which one of these events had probably been the most psychologically scarring. He decided it was a toss up between the Dementor and the ton-tongue toffee Fred and George had dropped.

"Come on Duddykins! Trust me!" Harry said, grinning at the memory of Dudley's pig tail.

"Fine! And don't call me Duddykins!"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Let's just try the windows."

So Harry and Dudley walked around the house trying to find an unlocked window. (Obviously, they didn't find one cause this story would be over pretty quick if they did)

"What do we do now?" Dudley asked, sitting down on the curb once the windows had been checked twice.

"I don't know," said Harry, checking to make sure he hadn't dropped his wand, and then joining Dudley on the curb.

"We could pick the lock," Dudley said.

"With what?" Harry asked. "A stick?"

"Don't you have a hair pin?" asked Dudley.

"No! Why would I have a hair pin?" Harry asked.

"I don't know. You're one of those odd ones Mum and Dad talk about. You never know," Dudley said.

"Yeah, well, boys generally don't carry hair pins, whether they're Muggle or magic," Harry said coldly. Dudley didn't seem to notice what Harry had said. He looked like he was deep in thought, which again, Harry found hard to believe.

They sat in silence for a few moments, thinking.

"Why don't we break a window?" Dudley suggested.

"Cause your mum and dad will flog us to within an inch of our lives," replied Harry gloomily.

"Oh," Dudley sighed. "Right."

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