Imperio

Chapter Four: Faceless and Nameless

"I told you that we would be a proper family!"

Harry grinned into Sirius' shoulder as laughter vibrated his skull. Sirius pulled him back a little and took Harry's face in his hands, his smile eclipsing the one Remus had worn only a moment ago.

"Didn't I?" he demanded, giving Harry a gentle shake.

Harry laughed, unable to stop smiling and not caring how silly he looked. "Yeah."

Sirius planted a rough kiss in the middle of his forehead before crushing him in another hug. They were surrounded a moment later, both of them pulled into different sets of arms as congratulations sounded out around them. Remus thumped Sirius' back while Mrs. Weasley and Tonks kissed Harry's cheeks.

Hermione smothered him and Ron shook him until his teeth rattled. And Ginny hugged him fiercely, only letting go when Remus finally crowded in for a back-thump all Harry's own.

And then Harry found himself facing Snape, a huge smile still plastered on his face. Snape gave him the barest of smirks.

"I can't believe it, mate," Ron said, jostling his shoulder again and turning Harry's attention back to the boisterous group. "You were almost my brother, you know," Ron said, laughing.

"What?"

"Mum was all set to adopt you after she heard about the Dursleys," Ron explained. "She's wanted to for years... What?" he demanded of Hermione who was glaring at him. "She has, hasn't she, Ginny?"

"Oh," Harry said. "Well, er... that was nice of her." He glanced at his godfather, who was accepting a glass of wine from Remus. Sirius caught the glance and with a wink, he raised the glass in salute. Harry smiled, the surge of giddiness coming back full force. When he turned back to his friends, Hermione was elbowing Ron very forcefully in the ribs.

"Bloody hell," Ron hissed as he clutched his side. "I wasn't going to tell him."

"Ron!"

"Tell me what?" Harry looked between his friends.

"Nothing," Hermione and Ginny said together.

"I think we can all agree that I don't deal well with secrets." He had only been joking but the way Hermione and Ron eyed one another made him demand, "What?"

"We heard Mum and Dad talking," Ginny said softly, her gaze darting to Sirius. "It was after everyone else left the kitchen."

Harry raised his eyebrows, expectant.

Ginny sighed and set her hip lightly against the wall, her brown eyes very serious. "Just don't get angry, all right?"

Harry frowned. "Just tell me, Ginny."

Ginny narrowed her eyes a little and Harry thought she'd refuse but instead she said, "They were discussing petitioning for guardianship."

Harry tilted his head as he tried to figure out what she meant. "You mean if Sirius hadn't been freed."

Another quick glance between the two Weasleys and Harry's pulse jumped.

"They were only discussing it," Ron said quickly.

"You know Mum doesn't think anyone can take care of you like she would," Ginny added, reaching out to touch his arm gently. "She just wants to make sure you're taken care of."

His jaw set in a hard line, Harry nodded. "And Sirius can't do that, is that it?"

"Of course he can-"

Harry twisted away from her. "Not according to your mum."

"Harry," Hermione said, her tone placating, "it doesn't matter now. Sirius has already been given custody."

Harry ignored her, his attention on Ron and Ginny. "So they were discussing what exactly?" he asked, barely managing to keep his voice even. "How to go about making everyone see that Sirius is unfit to be my guardian?"

Ginny shook her head. "No," she said softly. "They just wanted to know you had the option if you wanted it."

The option? Ludicrous. Absolutely ludicrous. "How could they think I would choose them over Sirius?"

Ron frowned. "You could do a lot worse than my parents, you know."

"I did do a lot worse," Harry said flatly and Ron's cheeks went pink. Harry stuffed his hands into his pockets, shaking his head as Hermione opened her mouth to defend him. "Don't bother, Hermione. I already know how you feel about Sirius. You've made it perfectly clear more than once. But, you don't know him. None of you do."

"Harry-"

"Leave it, Hermione," he said gruffly. "It doesn't matter how any of you feel; not about this."

"We're happy for you," Ginny said firmly, straightening up. "For both of you. Mum just doesn't understand. I'm not trying to defend her, Harry, but I think that's just how mothers are."

Since he didn't know anything about mothers, Harry said nothing.

"I know what Sirius means to you," Hermione put in, her voice subdued and a little tremulous. "I just want you to be happy."

Harry sighed. "I am though, Hermione. I mean, I know that sounds mental considering the last few weeks, but I would be dead--or at least on some sort of suicide mission to destroy Voldemort--if Sirius hadn't been here."

Hermione nodded. She looked to Ron but he shrugged. "Don't look at me. I've always liked Sirius and I sure as hell don't need another brother." His smile softened the words. "Besides, I don't think Sirius will let Mum have you."

Their gazes drifted to Sirius. He was still talking to Remus, his entire face animated as he waved his arms for emphasis. Harry had never seen him so happy.

"Go ahead," Ginny said, nudging his arm. Harry gave her a tiny smile and went over to join Sirius and Remus. Sirius looped an arm round his shoulders as he nodded to something Remus was saying.

"Round the world," he said with a grin, turning to Harry. "What do you say, Harry? Fancy a holiday with your old godfather?"

"I think Voldemort might have an objection," Harry said, smiling despite himself.

"Smart arse," Sirius muttered, squeezing his neck lightly in the crook of his elbow. "I meant after we dispatch Voldemort."

Harry smirked up at his godfather. "Where's the fun in that?"

With a chuckle, Sirius said, "Well for one thing, we won't have to hide under your dad's invisibility cloak."

Harry feigned a very serious nod. "There is that..."

"And I think a Bubble-Head Charm will work much better without one."

"Why do we need a Bubble-Head Charm?"

"Deep-sea diving, of course," Sirius said as steered Harry toward the kitchen, where Mrs. Weasley was calling for everyone. "I've always wanted to go, you know."

Harry couldn't stop the slow smile. "Yeah?"

Sirius grinned. "I hear they have the most amazing coral reefs off the Australian coast..."

--

"Coming Harry?" Ron asked through a yawn as he trailed after Ginny and Hermione on their way upstairs.

Harry, still planted on the sofa beside his godfather, looked up. He didn't particularly want to, especially since Mrs. Weasley had suggested it was past time they went to bed. He glanced at Sirius, who paused in reading the minister's letter for perhaps the sixth time.

Harry had never before asked his godfather for permission to stay up; it wouldn't even have occurred to him, but Mrs. Weasley and the others were staring at him--expecting something. Sirius, for his part, looked rather confused as he glanced between Harry and the others.

"I thought we'd look over these documents a bit more thoroughly," he finally said, jiggling the parchments in question, his grey eyes seeming to read things that Harry didn't think he was giving away. "If you feel up to it."

Relieved, Harry said to Ron, "I'll be up in a bit."

Farther up the staircase, Ginny smiled. "Night."

Ron and Hermione echoed the words. Molly didn't comment, simply ushering them up the stairs and following in their wake. Harry watched her, not relaxing until she'd cleared the landing.

"Something the matter?"

Harry turned. With a small sigh he shook his head and slouched into the cushions.

"No?" Sirius rolled the parchments up. He rested them in his lap and turned his full attention to Harry. "You've been rather quiet since dinner."

Harry shrugged. "It isn't anything. Well, it's a ridiculous something," Harry amended when Sirius raised his eyebrows. In a voice subdued, he said, "Ron and Ginny told me their parents were talking about wanting to be my guardians."

Sirius sat back. "Ah."

Harry studied his godfather's posture. "You knew?"

Sirius folded his arms over his chest, a hint of amusement in his grey eyes. "Molly told me this morning."

"She did?"

Sirius nodded. "We had a bit of a row over it." He smiled. "I won."

Harry tried to picture that and found himself wanting to laugh. Sirius shook his head and swatted Harry's head lightly with the scroll. "Did you actually think I'd let her have you?"

"I didn't think that," Harry said quickly. "It's just that, well, Mrs. Weasley can be a bit pushy and I didn't want her to..."

"To...?" Sirius prompted.

Feeling foolish, Harry flushed. "I don't know; upset you, I guess."

"Well, I thank you very much for that," his godfather said with a smile, "but it's my job to worry about you, not the other way round."

Harry nodded, but only as a reflex. He was fairly certain that he'd never be able to stop worrying about Sirius.

Sirius rumpled his hair. "What else is on your mind?"

Harry smiled. It was funny; how well Sirius knew him. "I just wish they wouldn't worry. Even Snape didn't object to you."

"In Snape's mind, you were already my kid," Sirius said, shrugging. "It will probably take your friends--and Molly--some time yet to see that I'm not the crazed fugitive from Azkaban."

Indignant, Harry scowled. "They've known you were innocent for two years now."

"And they've seen very little during those two years that would prove to them that I'm capable of being your guardian--living off rats or in hiding, only contacting you in secret--"

"But you couldn't help that."

"No," Sirius agreed, "and Molly can't help but have paid more attention to those things, rather than to the fact that your parents always intended for me to be your guardian in their stead. She doesn't understand that I regretted losing that more than all the years I spent in Azkaban."

"And as happy as this has made me," Sirius went solemnly, indicating Fudge's letter, "it doesn't really change anything."

"How do you mean?" Harry asked, his dark brows colliding.

Sirius leaned forward. "In all the ways that are important," he said quietly, "your dad was my brother. And you were dear to me the moment he put you in my arms. You've always been my family, Harry."

Harry had known that, of course. But hearing it was something entirely different, and it eased the last of the tension he'd been carrying with him all evening. "You are too, you know," he said, feeling silly as soon as the awkward words left his mouth. But Sirius didn't seem to mind. He kissed the top of Harry's head, which should have made Harry feel even more childish, but oddly it only made him smile.

"Did you really mean that?" he asked when Sirius straightened up. "About deep sea diving together?"

"Absolutely," Sirius said, his grey eyes lighting up. "What else would you like to do?"

"Besides a trip round the world?" Harry teased.

Chuckling, Sirius said, "Well, we might not have time for the whole world, but at the very least, we'll manage a few continents. Although..." he said thoughtfully, "... we'll need to spend a few days looking for a house."

Harry cocked his head.

"Well, I'm not staying here voluntarily," Sirius exclaimed, gesturing to the grimy room around them. "Have I given you the impression that I actually like this grim old place?"

"No, but I guess I hadn't really thought about where we'd live-"

"Well, we have loads of other things to think about as well," Sirius said, giving his shoulder a shake, his eyes sparkling again with renewed excitement. "We'll need furniture and you'll need new clothes. I could use a trip to Diagon Alley in any case; do you even realize how many years it's been since I've seen the inside of a wizarding shop? We'll probably need to wear dark glasses and maybe I'll grow myself a long beard. I imagine even with the news of my innocence, I'll terrify at least half the population... What's the matter?"

Harry hadn't realized he'd been frowning. "Just that we have to find Voldemort first," he said, trying not to let his shoulders slump. He didn't want to deflate his godfather's spirits.

"We will," Sirius said, without a hint of worry in his face. "And it doesn't matter how long it takes," he assured Harry when Harry only shook his head. The parchment crinkled in Sirius' hands. "This is what's important. All the rest can wait."

Harry nodded because he knew Sirius didn't want him to worry. Sirius gave his shoulder a comforting squeeze. "Fudge signed this himself," he said as he unwound the scroll. "Did you see that?"

Harry smiled; it seemed there wasn't anything that could deflate Sirius' happiness. Not even having to wait to fully enjoy his freedom. But Harry didn't want him to have to wait. And as he listened to Sirius reading the letter aloud one more time, he decided he'd work twice as hard with Snape; do whatever he needed to do to finally get rid of Voldemort.

And somehow, finding the will to cast the Imperius Curse didn't sound impossible any longer.

--

Snape, however, was in a particularly foul mood the next morning. He came into the kitchen when everyone else was just finishing up, a scowl already on his sallow face. "If you have finished dawdling," he snapped to Harry as soon as his gaze found him, "perhaps we might begin."

Harry quickly swallowed his mouthful of milk. "It's only eight o'clock," he protested.

"My point exactly," Snape growled. "I've been awake since six, which means you've already wasted two hours."

"We're nearly finished," Sirius said, setting his mug quietly on the table. "And we never start before eight-"

"All the more time wasted," Snape interrupted icily. "Unless you wish to give the Dark Lord every possible advantage?"

Sirius didn't blink as he held Snape's frigid gaze, though he eventually had to give in. "You ready?" he asked, sliding his eyes to Harry.

"Yeah," Harry said with a sigh as he pushed himself up.

Snape's black eyes raked over the assembled group before he was glaring at Harry again. "How long is your little fan club intending to remain?"

"They're my friends," Harry corrected, earning himself another dark scowl. Across the table, Sirius shook his head slightly; Harry bit back a sigh and smoothed his expression. "They're leaving this morning," he said, finding a cordial tone with little effort.

Harry recognized the surprise in the professor's eyes, usually elusive. And since it had only been decided while Mrs. Weasley had spooned up eggs, of course Snape hadn't expected it.

"We thought it would be best to postpone the visit," Sirius said. He gathered his plate and mug into his palm in one smooth sweep. Snape gave him his unwilling attention. Sirius smiled just the tiniest bit. "Allow Harry to focus on our lessons."

"And I suppose," Snape addressed Harry again, "that you will be wasting even more time now to say your farewells?"

Harry let the sigh out this time. Even after everything, the man could still sneer. "I'll be quick," he said. The professor didn't even bother to glare again. He turned sharply on his heel and left without another word. "Oy, he's in a mood," Harry muttered as the library door slammed.

Ron snorted. "How can you tell?"

"Oh hush, Ron," Hermione scolded as she stood up and took her dishes to the sink.

"I'll take care of those, Molly," Sirius said as Mrs. Weasley began to turn the taps on. As she protested, he added, "Snape is not known for his patience." Mrs. Weasley tsked, only agreeing reluctantly and it was with mixed emotions that Harry said good-bye to his friends.

Mrs. Weasley said her farewells last, taking Harry's face in her hands. "We've left all your presents in the kitchen and you're to open them on your birthday," she said, her eyes already brimming with tears. Harry nodded. "We'll have a celebration at the Burrow as soon as we can..." She hugged him tightly. "Mind your godfather now. And Professor Snape."

"I will."

"Such a good boy." Mrs. Weasley patted his cheek, dabbing at her eyes as she turned to Sirius. "Take care of yourself," she said, still watery. Sirius smiled, no reservation in his grey eyes.

"We'll be fine," he assured her.

Molly nodded. She blew her nose and with one final smile for both of them, she and her brood went through the Floo.

--

"Perhaps a different wand?"

Harry ignored Snape's snide question and raised his wand for the fifth time. "I can do it," he said.

"By all means..."

"It would probably be easier if you would stop baiting him," Sirius said from Harry's other side.

"Doubtful."

"Why are you in such a foul mood?" Harry asked curiously.

Snape's lips thinned. "Cast the curse."

Harry almost asked again, thinking this level of irritation had to have an unusual root, but Sirius nudged his shoulder blade. "Try it again," he said with a little nod. His eyes were easy to read; whatever was bothering Snape was none of Harry's business. Or at least Snape didn't think so.

"And concentrate this time," the professor said, quite unnecessarily.

"You can do it," Sirius added, emphasized with a quick squeeze for Harry's shoulder. Harry nodded and closed his eyes to train his thoughts on exactly why he wanted to do this.

Voldemort had hunted him for the last five years. He had nearly killed him more than once. He had tortured Sirius'; tried to kill him.

And if he was given the chance, Voldemort would try again.

Drawing in a deep breath through his nose, Harry chanted the curse. The word slipped past his lips, with a strength this time that had been missing before. He could feel the magic swelling up from his core; from a deeper place than other spells. It consumed him for a moment and as the magic poured into his wand, he knew he could do anything.

Snape's face was right in front of his, darker than it had been a moment before; his eyes glazed.

"Harry," Sirius' deep voice broke through the fog weaving through Harry's brain. He shook himself. Fingers gripped his shoulder and Harry wasn't certain they should be there. "Are you all right?"

Sirius' grey eyes cleared the odd haze. "Yeah... Feels different." He glanced at Snape again. "I think it worked though."

"Yes."

There was an odd note to Sirius' voice but Harry couldn't focus on it. "What should I do?"

Sirius stepped away, his entire posture uneasy. He glanced at Snape. "Tell him to do something."

Harry wetted his lips; his tongue felt like parchment. He cleared his throat and tried again. "Fetch me a glass of water."

"Something he would normally refuse," Sirius amended, but it was too late. Snape had already turned toward the kitchen.

"Stop," Harry said, his voice coming out louder than he'd intended. Harry saw Sirius grimace in his peripheral vision. "Erm..." He had to clear his throat again. "Give me your wand."

Snape held it out. He continued to hold it until Harry took it. Harry smiled, immediately liking the feel of that dark wood. He closed his eyes, letting the aura of Snape's magic mix with his own. It belonged here.

He could do anything with this magic. It wasn't nearly as strong as his own, but it was fuller somehow. And it wanted him too.

He reached toward it--

A hand touched his shoulder again. He tensed.

"Harry." Fingers pressed against his neck. "Harry. End the spell now."

Harry blinked. He couldn't argue with that voice. Sirius was in front of him now, his face unsmiling. Harry looked away and whispered, "Finite."

The skin around the professor's eyes twitched.

He shook his head, looking very much like he was dislodging water from his ears. Very slowly, his face transformed. His gaze flicked from Harry's face to his wand, still in Harry's palm and suddenly the wood--dead now--felt like it was burning his skin. He shoved it toward Snape, nearly spearing the professor in the chest. Snape snatched it, his dark eyes reproachful.

"My wand?" he sneered.

"I-" Harry didn't know what to say; only that a huge rock had settled into the pit of his stomach and his chest was tight with guilt.

"That was the best order you could manage?" Snape slid his wand into his pocket with an irritated huff. "At least it worked. We will need to test it on a less agreeable subject, of course, but the strength of your spell was adequate for a first attempt."

Harry nodded dumbly. Snape narrowed his eyes, peering at him like he always did when he found Harry particularly aggravating. "Surely you have something to say?"

Sirius stepped around him, peering at Harry as well now. "Would you give us a moment?" he said quietly. Snape pursed his lips but withdrew without argument. Harry heard the library door click. Sirius took his arm and steered him toward the sofa. "Take a few breaths," Sirius instructed, his voice soft and steady. "You're extremely pale... Do you feel dizzy?"

Harry tried to breathe, but his limbs were trembling. Even though they shouldn't be. There was no reason for it. He'd done what Snape had asked. He'd managed it.

He cast the curse. He had made Snape do what he'd wanted. And it hadn't been difficult at all. He could do it again.

He dropped his head and said miserably, "I'm sorry."

The tick-tock of the old clock on the mantel filled Harry's head for long seconds and then Sirius sat down, settling a hand on the back of Harry's bowed head. "Oy, Harry," he said, lowering his voice, "I'm not angry with you."

Sirius leaned over when Harry didn't look up, his shoulders grazing Harry's. "I was worried... You almost seemed to lose yourself when you took Snape's wand."

Harry swallowed, his shame making it impossible to look at Sirius. He hadn't lost himself. "I wanted to keep it..."

Sirius would surely think he was daft. He could almost feel the wand in his hand again.

But Sirius didn't recoil. "You're all right," he murmured. "The magic... Dark magic affects you; do you remember I told you it would?" Harry shrugged. "You haven't done anything wrong."

But Harry couldn't believe that.

Sirius pulled his chin up, waiting until Harry met his gaze. "You haven't any choice," he said firmly. "None of us do. Voldemort will not stop until he's dead. He isn't only threatening you and me, but everyone else--people we don't even know. And I will not allow you to feel guilty for trying to stop it." His fingers gripped Harry's chin firmly. "Do you hear me?"

Harry's throat prickled as he nodded.

Sirius released his chin and palmed the side of Harry's head, guiding it until it rested on his godfather's shoulder. Harry closed his eyes, pretending for a moment that he wasn't nearly sixteen; or destined to save the world.

The library door opened again. Harry lifted his head, his cheeks still tingling; Sirius kept his arm across his shoulders. Snape took the few steps to the sofa, holding out a vial with dark liquid. "It will temper the effects of the dark magic."

"Thanks..."

Snape didn't leave and under two pairs of watchful eyes, Harry slugged the potion, nearly gagging it tasted so foul.

"Each time you cast a dark spell, it will be worse."

His eyes still watering from the awful potion, Harry gripped the vial.

"You might have warned us," Sirius said in a low voice.

Snape's fingers curled into a loose fist on his knee. "I could not have warned you. My forays into dark magic were not unwelcome."

Sirius blew out a breath. Harry watched him struggling with whatever he wanted to say, but in the end his godfather just nodded. "All right," he said with forced casualness as he pushed himself up, hoisting Harry up alongside, "I need some tea."

"We have hardly begun," Snape protested.

"Biscuits as well, I think," Sirius said in response. "Care to join us?"

Snape scowled but he followed along anyway.