Lily's Charm: The Gift

1996

Harry and Severus popped back into existence, with Harry's mouth still open on his scream. As soon as he was aware that they were no longer at the Ministry, Harry flung himself away from Severus, but Severus held fast to his arms.

"Let me go! Ginny!" Harry protested as he struggled, his eyes glued to the Floo, fully intending to use it to get back to Ginny, but his father's arms remained firm.

"Harry-"

"How could you do that?" Harry shouted furiously. "Ginny's there and Pettigrew-" Harry's voice was rasping with his fear and rising fury at his father for forcing him to abandon Ginny. "Damn it! I'll never forgive you if-"

Severus' fingers tightened, just shy of being painful, around Harry's biceps; he pulled him closer. "Black has Ginny." Each syllable was enunciated.

Harry stopped struggling instantly to stare at his father in confusion. There was a loud crack, and then Sirius, with his arms around Ginny, was standing right beside them.

"Ginny," Harry breathed, the word exhaling in a rush of relief; his father released him abruptly and Harry stumbled a bit with the sudden loss of support. Severus steadied him by an impatient elbow as Ginny's tightly scrunched eyes opened slowly. She breathed her own huge sigh of relief as soon as she saw Harry.

"Harry..."

Sirius dropped his arms and Harry hastily filled the now-empty space around her. Paying absolutely no attention to his father, or Sirius, or even to the cracks resounding all around them, Harry wrapped Ginny's body to his as tightly as he could. Her fingers were shaking a little against his shoulder blades. He didn't think he'd ever seen her frightened before; the sensation filled him with such a surge of protectiveness, he nearly snarled when he felt someone trying to tug Ginny away from them.

"Ginny...?"

He blinked as he realized it was Mrs. Weasley, and she looked very distraught. With a bit of a reluctant sigh, Harry dropped his arms and watched as Ginny was gathered up in a very blubbery embrace. Bill had his arm around Ron and was patting Ginny's back as his mother squeezed. Pomfrey was saying something quietly to Hermione, and after a gentle squeeze to her shoulder, the Mediwitch turned on the spot and was gone; Ron took Hermione's hand absently. George and Fred were standing near their mother.

"Sirius, thank you," Bill was saying sincerely, his voice sounding thick; Mrs. Weasley nodded shakily, and by now, Ginny was struggling a little to pull away from her mother. Harry took her hand as soon as she was let go. Putting an arm around her waist, he pulled her into his side where she relaxed immediately. Harry turned to Sirius.

"Thanks," he said quietly. Sirius glanced at Severus, looking rather nervous.

"Sna--your..." he cleared his throat, "...Snape cast a shield between Peter and Ginny," he explained haltingly; his face was tinged with an unfamiliar reddish hue. Astonished, Harry turned to his father, but before he could speak, there was another loud crack and Remus, with a flailing Tonks in his arms, appeared near the hearth.

"...my job, Remus!" Tonks was saying fiercely. Before Remus could steady himself after his apparition, Tonks pushed herself sharply away, with more force than was actually necessary; Remus stumbled back. Tonks shook out her red robes, looking ferocious. "And don't you dare try to follow me," she snapped.

And then, on a punctuated crack, Tonks whirled and disappeared. And in such a short span of time, that Harry wasn't sure she'd left at all, Tonks popped back again. She looked confused for moment before she rounded on Remus again.

"Damn it, Remus," she spat, her hair raging toward a blood red. She glared at him for a moment, her fists clenched at her side, her jaw set firmly. Then she spun on her heel and stalked into the kitchen; the door slammed loudly behind her.

Their own brief, but harrowing last minutes forgotten, everyone else tried not to stare at Remus. Remus was staring at the kitchen door. His eyes narrowed and his face screwed into a scowl so fierce, Harry was actually a bit nervous, but then Remus slumped into one of the chairs, his features falling pitifully with his body. He dug his fingertips into his face, and then was still.

"Someone must have raised a shield," Bill said, his arm finally disengaging from Ron. "And Dad is still there...and Percy..."

Mrs. Weasley, already pale, wavered a little, and Bill moved expertly to her side to guide her to one of the tattered chairs.

"Do you have something stiff, Sirius?" Bill asked quietly after he'd gotten his mother settled. Sirius looked briefly confused, as if he hadn't realized this was his house, but then he nodded and slipped wordlessly into the kitchen. He came out a moment later, with a large, dusty bottle of firewhisky and some tumblers. He poured a measure first for Mrs. Weasley, which she put to her lips with shaking fingers. Bill took the tumbler Sirius offered him gratefully.

Sirius turned to Remus. "Moony?" he asked quietly. Remus shook his head wordlessly when Sirius offered him some of the whiskey.

Sirius turned back around, the half-full glass of amber liquid sloshing as he moved. His eyes moved between the tumbler and Severus, his fingers curled uncertainly around the glass. But before he could decide what to do, Severus turned to Harry.

"Harry, Ginny should sit down as well," he directed. Harry dragged his eyes from Remus. I will speak to him, his father's flame promised. Harry nodded, smiling a little. Thanks, his wisp returned as he pulled Ginny over to the sofa; she leaned against him as soon as they sat. Ron sat down as well, and Hermione sat next to him, her fingers tracing comforting circles on his back.

Severus stepped toward Remus, plucking the tumbler, which Sirius hadn't quite managed to offer to him, from the other man's hand. Sirius looked affronted for a half a second until Severus marched over and held it out to Remus. "Drink it," he ordered. Remus didn't move; his eyes were closed.

"How could I have told her it was over between us? I was an idiot...a stupid, blind, selfish idiot."

"Yes," Severus answered coldly, no trace of amusement in his voice. Harry was watching Sirius, who was staring between Remus and Severus with confusion. Remus opened his eyes, and flinched from the black gaze. But he took the tumbler, and downed its contents in one swallow; he cradled the empty glass into his chest.

"You and Tonks?" Sirius asked, his voice very quiet now. Remus turned to him, his face an odd mingling of regret and hesitancy.

"I asked her to marry me."

Sirius spun the cap back into place on the bottle. He simply nodded, and Harry could sense immediately that he was hurt by the news--or rather that Remus had not told him, although Harry wasn't certain that they'd had much time to chat properly, and he'd gleaned from his conversation last night with Remus, that he was pretty angry with Sirius over what had happened in the infirmary. Harry felt a pang for his godfather, and for all he had to adjust to.

"Have you any food here, Sirius?"

Everyone turned to Mrs. Weasley, who had handed her glass to Bill and was standing from the sofa. She waved away her son's protest.

Sirius shook his head at Mrs. Weasley's expectant look. "Poppy wanted to stock the kitchen last night...but, I hadn't planned to be here very long," he murmured; he wasn't looking at anyone.

"Well, it's a few hours yet until dinner. Perhaps I can do some cleaning for you, Sirius...do you plan to find a buyer for the house?"

"I...I haven't given it much thought," Sirius answered quietly.

Mrs. Weasley nodded crisply, while she rolled up her sleeves. She ushered Hermione, Ron, Bill, and the twins toward the kitchen, where perhaps she was hoping to find cleaning supplies. She gave Harry a little smile, telling both him and Ginny to remain behind, as she passed. This time, the kitchen door closed very quietly; Remus was staring at it again.

When the silence became too cloying, Harry leaned forward. "Why don't you go talk to her?"

Remus sighed. "I have no idea what to say to her."

Harry waved his hands impatiently toward the kitchen. "Just tell her you're not a werewolf anymore, Remus. She'll-"

"What?!"

Harry's mouth closed slowly. Sirius' eyes were bulging out, his mouth hanging open in a most unflattering manner. He was gripping the neck of the whiskey bottle so hard, his knuckles had turned white. Harry turned back to Remus, startled that he hadn't already told Sirius, and mystified as to the reason why he wouldn't have.

Remus was shaking his head. "We aren't certain yet." He spoke through his lips, and Harry was momentarily nervous that Remus would be angry at him for giving it away.

"You...aren't...certain," Sirius repeated, his grip not slacking at all. Closing his eyes, Remus relayed Dumbledore's thoughts on the matter. Sirius continued to stare at him. His face had lost all expression by the time Remus had finished speaking; Remus was watching him warily. But, his voice flat, all Sirius said was, "I hope it's true, then." And not waiting for Remus to reply, Sirius turned and went up the darkened stairs.

Feeling an unbearable weight pressing up against his heart, Harry watched him retreat. "Why didn't you tell him?" he asked quietly when Sirius was finally swallowed up by the blackness; he couldn't help the indignation he felt on his godfather's behalf.

"I don't even know if it's true."

Harry still couldn't quite understand why that would stop him from telling Sirius the news, but before he could ask as much, a streak of silver zipped past them, and passed through the kitchen door. Ginny shot to her feet; Harry was dragged with her.

"It's Dad's Patronus," she said excitedly as she pulled him to the kitchen. Remus and Severus followed, though Remus only after Severus had almost reached the door.

Mrs. Weasley was smiling when they entered; her arms were filled with rags and buckets. "They've subdued the Death Eaters. Your father will have to remain behind until they have everything under control again," she told them.

"And Percy?" Ginny asked. Harry didn't miss the sorrow that crossed Mrs. Weasley's face even as she nodded.

"He's all right," she confirmed briskly and then began bustling about the kitchen. She told Ron and Hermione that she no longer needed their help, but they lingered in the kitchen anyway. Bill and Tonks were already busily polishing Mrs. Black's silver. They weren't using magic, and Harry remembered that Tonks had once said her housekeeping spells weren't her best ones.

"Can we help, Mum?" Ginny asked, but Mrs. Weasley shook her head.

"You children go play," she directed, indicating Fred and George in the command. They made faces at that, but didn't argue. "And you two, don't leave until your father gets here!" she shouted as they hurried through the door. Making a noise of satisfaction, she waved her fingers pointedly toward the door. Ron and Hermione followed Fred and George. Ginny gave Harry an inquiring look; he shrugged and they turned toward the door. He paused as he caught sight of Remus.

Remus was watching Tonks. His lips thinned as Tonks' fingers brushed up against Bill's as she took a proffered fork. Remus' eyes narrowed, and as though Tonks could feel his gaze, her head suddenly came up. Her own brown eyes narrowed and she glared at Remus, daring him to say a word. Apparently, Remus didn't dare; he turned around and left, opening the door with a loud smack of his palm. Tonks stared after him, her mouth puckering; her eyes were glistening with tears.

She began rubbing the fork with unnecessary force.

Severus gave Harry a gentle prod between his shoulder blades. Harry, his heart hurting even more, obeyed the gesture. He and Ginny went back into the sitting room, with Severus right behind.

Remus had resumed his slump in the threadbare chair.

"Harry, a word," Severus murmured as he moved toward an empty corner of the room. Ginny let his hand go reluctantly as they passed the sofa. Harry smiled at her and followed his father.

"Thank you for putting that shield up," Harry said quietly, as soon as Severus turned around. "I'm sorry I-"

Severus halted his apology with a small shake of his head. "You were concerned for Ginny's safety. Your reaction was perfectly understandable, even though I would never have left Ginny to Pettigrew. Thankfully, Black understood my intention to Apparate here."

Harry didn't say anything for a long moment, as he studied his father's passive face. He wanted to ask his dad why he couldn't just accept the apology, instead of exonerating him so quickly--dismissing his remorse. What was so difficult about accepting that he'd made a mistake?

"Something else?" Severus inquired. Harry shook his head, which only caused his father to raise his eyebrow. "I believe we are past the point where you need to concern yourself about sparing my feelings," he said, the dry tone making Harry's lips twitch of their own accord.

He did have a point, Harry supposed. His cheeks tingled though at the thought of their conversations yesterday. And the slightly uncomfortable, nervous tension of things left unsaid, still lingered in the air around them.

But even with that, his dad had not hesitated to comfort him about Sirius earlier, and he'd been willing to discuss the past despite his own discomfort. And that's what made Harry look his father in the eye and say, hesitantly though it emerged, "Why won't you ever let me apologize?"

He watched with concern as his father's eyes widened a little with surprise, and then narrowed in thought. "I am uncertain," he answered honestly. "It is, perhaps, another matter we will need to add to the list of topics I would like to discuss with you while we are away."

Harry wrinkled his nose, his lips pulling upward once more. "You made a list of things we need to discuss?"

"I did not wish to forget anything," Severus said seriously. Harry had to smash his lips together so he wouldn't laugh. His father gave a small shake of his head, his equivalent of an eye roll. "I assume you would like to remain here until the others return to Hogwarts?"

Harry sobered at the question. "I'd like to, if you wouldn't mind," he answered carefully. He didn't really want to leave Ginny yet, at least not until Mr. Weasley was back. And he would feel badly leaving when Remus was so upset.

"I do not mind."

Harry smiled at that, knowing it wasn't precisely the truth. "I'm sure Mrs. Weasley would understand if you didn't stay."

Severus gave him look that Harry interpreted as scandalized, though he would never tell his father so. But it didn't matter. They were distracted as another silver streak, that looked something like a lion, zinged past them and on into the kitchen.

"It is Shacklebolt's Patronus," Severus supplied when the others looked around at one another in confusion, though Remus, as soon as he had seen the streak, sat up straighter, and he was watching the door intently now. A moment later, Tonks, followed by Bill, marched into the sitting room.

As he passed, Bill said to Severus, "I'm escorting Tonks back to the Ministry." Tonks' eyes stayed stubbornly forward, but Remus, his entire body rigid, followed their progress from his chair until the front door closed behind them.

After a few tense minutes of uncomfortable silence, Remus stood abruptly and pivoted toward the Floo. It flared open before he could reach it though, and then Mr. Weasley was stepping over the hearth. His clothes were rumpled, and covered with soot, and there was an odd burn mark over his left shoulder. A gash on his right cheek balanced him out.

"Dad!" the four Weasley children shouted as they flung themselves at their father. Their excited cries alerted Mrs. Weasley, who came hurrying out of the kitchen. She shooed her children away from Mr. Weasley, though both Ginny and Ron seemed reluctant to go, and so Mrs. Weasley had to settle for receiving only a partial hug from her husband.

Harry, without realizing it, had stepped closer to his father as he watched them fondly and, for the first time since he'd seen the Weasleys all together, he felt no pang of loss. Though he did wonder briefly how much like the Weasleys he and his mother and father would have been if his mum hadn't died...and if perhaps he would have had a brother or a sister.

"Is Tonks still here?" Mr. Weasley was asking; he sounded a little winded. Mrs. Weasley shook her head.

"She only just left...through the front door."

"The Minister dropped the shields right after Shacklebolt sent his Patronus along. He sent me to fetch her. They need her to stay with Lucius while the other Aurors return the rest of the Death Eaters back to Azkaban," he explained at his family's confused looks.

"You're not a messenger, Arthur," Mrs. Weasley said indignantly. Mr. Weasley put an arm around her shoulders.

"There's no reason to fret, Molly. I wasn't needed for anything else at the moment." He smiled at her; she made a soft harrumphing sound but didn't argue the point further.

"They shouldn't have had all of those Death Eaters there together, to begin with," Fred spoke up. His father nodded.

"It was irregular, to be sure. Cambry Olsen, from the Minister's office, told me that Scrimgeour had an unexpected visitor this morning--Bavister Simon, the fellow who hosted Harry's hero's dinner." Mr. Weasley spared a warm smile for Harry. "Scrimgeour dispatched an owl to Azkaban as soon as Simon left."

"But why would Simon want the Death Eaters brought to the Ministry?" Harry asked. Mr. Weasley shook his head.

"He couldn't have known that would happen, of course. And the Death Eaters weren't in the hall during the trial. Scrimgeour insisted they be kept back until it was over," he explained.

Harry, feeling funny over it, glanced at his father. He and Remus were exchanging looks, Remus seeming to have put the issue of Tonks aside for the moment. That alone was enough to make Harry's feelings toward Bavister Simon all the more uneasy.

"Well, I'm just happy to have all of that over with," Mrs. Weasley was saying as she brushed the soot off Mr. Weasley's jacket.

"But it isn't over," Harry said quietly. "What about Mr. Malfoy's trial?"

Severus shook his head, understanding Harry's unspoken desire not to go back to the Wizengamot. "You already spoke on Lucius' behalf. There will be no reason for you to go back. They can hold another trial without you."

Mr. Weasley cleared his throat; Severus and Harry looked over to him. "They're continuing the trial...Scrimgeour is still presiding, though most of the members of the Wizengamot left during the confusion. Those watching the proceedings were removed for their safety."

Severus narrowed his eyes. "It has turned into a private trial then...I assume Simon is still there?"

Mr. Weasley nodded, suddenly beginning to look uncomfortable. "But surely, Severus, you aren't suggesting that Simon engineered this simply to ensure that Lucius' trial would go easy..."

"I am suggesting nothing." Severus' bland tone made Mr. Weasley purse his lips thoughtfully, but he nodded.

Mrs. Weasley started fussing over her husband's scrape, while telling Ron and Hermione it was time for all of them to be getting back to Hogwarts, even though the afternoon classes would be almost over by now.

"And I suppose I should go upstairs and check on Sirius," Remus put in, and it was obvious he was not looking forward to a possible confrontation about his earlier evasion. Harry's eyes strayed to the shadowy staircase; his stomach muscles tightened at the thought of talking to Sirius again, though he wasn't certain he would be able to enjoy his holiday with his father if he didn't. His eyes returned swiftly to Ginny. Sensing his dilemma, Severus turned to Mrs. Weasley.

"Harry and I are leaving Hogwarts this evening for a few days," he said. Mrs. Weasley looked briefly surprised, but then she was nodding approvingly after a quick glance toward Harry. "If you have no objection, I believe Harry would appreciate some time with his friends before we depart. I will see them safely back to Hogwarts."

Mrs. Weasley nodded, smiling fondly at Harry. "A holiday will do wonders for him," she approved. "It is so wonderful, Severus, to see you taking such good care of Harry."

Severus simply inclined his head, though Harry could sense his father's flame brightening briefly at her praise. Harry smiled at Mrs. Weasley, but she had already turned to give Ron and Ginny--and Hermione, firm admonishments to be good, as well as expressing gratitude that they were all right. Then she was distributing kisses to everyone in the room, Severus excluded.

Along with Remus' kiss, she murmured words that only he could hear into his ear, and then finally allowed Mr. Weasley to take her into the Floo. They disappeared in a flash of fire. Fred and George were next; they'd agreed, after an unusually stern look from their father, to return home for dinner.

As soon as the twins were swallowed up, there was a soft creak from the direction of the stairs. Harry turned around; Sirius, with a grimace on his face, was just stepping into the room. Harry stared at him, the twinging going full force in his stomach now.

"Harry...if you..." Sirius cleared his throat; he seemed to be trying not to look at Severus. "I'd like to speak with you...to apologize actually...if you have a moment before you have to leave..."

Sirius, whom Harry had never known to be anything other than self-assured and confident, was pleading with him. Maybe no one else but Remus would be able to tell, but Harry could, and a lump took over his throat so that he could only nod, rather jerkily.

Harry glanced at his father, half-expecting him to object to him being alone with Sirius, but Severus simply gave him the tiniest of smiles. Harry felt the space where his wisp was nestled in his father's flames widening a little, and nodding in understanding, Harry pushed his storm forward, giving his father permission to monitor his emotions. I will be here, should you need me, the warm flames promised. Harry nodded once more.

Sirius' was watching their silent interplay.

When Harry turned back to him, he pointed vaguely to the kitchen, perhaps sensing that Severus would not allow them to go much farther away. It was a rather good assumption, since Severus was giving Sirius a very dark look. Sirius' jaw tensed visibly as he turned away. Harry, with another look at Ginny, followed his godfather.

"Where are you taking Harry, Professor?" Hermione was asking brightly as Harry and Sirius entered the adjacent room. Sirius remained standing in the center of the kitchen as Harry shut the door behind them, cutting off Severus' answer.

Harry stood next to the door, his fingers still draped over the knob, staring at the back of Sirius' head.

"I'm sorry." Sirius finally turned around; his vocal chords scraped painfully over the words. "I didn't mean to hurt you, Harry." He swallowed, but other than that, he didn't move, as though he was afraid to get too close to Harry, and again Harry was struck by how young his godfather's face seemed now. "I was thoughtless when I spoke to you, and you can't imagine how dreadfully sorry I am. I shouldn't have said any of that to you. You didn't deserve to be treated that way...especially not by me."

Harry wasn't sure what he meant, and he wouldn't have known how to respond even if he had understood Sirius' last statement, so he avoided it to ask stonily, "Are you really leaving, then?"

Sirius' face fell. He'd obviously been expecting Harry to at least acknowledge his apology, if not to accept it completely. But Harry couldn't--he was still hurting too much.

"I...Albus suggested it might be best this way..."

Harry very much wanted to tell Sirius that Dumbledore should keep his crooked nose out of it, but since that wasn't really prudent to the discussion all he said was, "It'll be easier for you, anyway."

Sirius frowned at that, but it was stern sort of frown, instead of sad. "It will not be easier for me, Harry," he denied firmly. "Do you really think this is what I want?"

"Then why are you, if you don't want to?" Harry demanded, folding his arms across his chest. Sirius sighed; his entire torso moved gustily with the movement.

"When I saw Remus in the void, I entertained, for just a moment, the thought of what it would be like if I was able to step back through the veil. I thought of you, Harry, and how much it would mean to finally be able to be a proper guardian for you. And that's all I wanted."

The tingle in Harry's gut was beginning to spread. "So, now, just because I don't need a guardian anymore, you're leaving? Just like that? Now that your obligation to James doesn't exist anymore?" he asked bitterly.

"It wasn't an obligation, Harry," Sirius retorted, seeming to forget that he had come in here to garner some sort of forgiveness from his godson. "I didn't want you to come live with me simply because you were James' son."

"Not simply because?" Harry returned bitingly. "But that was one of the reasons, wasn't it, Sirius?"

Sirius threw up his hands in exasperation. "Harry, I thought you were James' son. James was my best friend. Of course I cared about you because you were my best friend's son. He asked me to be your godfather because I was his best friend."

Harry felt his father's flame glowing as his own ire rose. Are you all right? the flame queried. Yes, Harry's wisp snapped the flame back even as he continued to glare at Sirius.

"And you wouldn't have ever agreed to be my godfather if James hadn't been pretending to be my father," Harry bit out. "If you had known who my real father was." The accusation seemed muddled at best, but Harry hardly cared at the moment.

"Snape wouldn't have asked me, Harry!" Realizing his temper was overcoming his original purpose, Sirius closed his eyes wearily. "None of that matters now though Harry," he said quietly. "Don't you understand? No matter how I started out caring about you, I love you now because you're Harry. Not because I thought you were James' son, and not even because you're my godson...but because you're just Harry."

"Then why are you leaving?" Harry's anger had dissipated into hurt.

"Because Harry," Sirius said tiredly, "I would have given up everything if you still needed me. But I can't just sit in this wretched hole anymore, waiting around for a chance to see you again."

Harry felt as though he'd been slapped. He could barely find the single word, "Fine."

Sirius stared at him. "Fine?"

"Go ahead and leave, then, Sirius, if that's what you want to do."

Sirius still looked confused. "Harry, I don't need to leave right away. I didn't know if you could forgive me...I thought you wouldn't want me around, but if you do-"

And no matter how childish it was, Harry couldn't tell his godfather how much he wanted him to stay; he couldn't see past the betrayal in Sirius' perfectly rational reasoning. "I don't," he said coldly. "I'm sorry I was such a burden to you in the first place."

And Sirius stood there, mouth parted in surprise.

Harry turned away, hurt, remorse and shame clogging up both his eyes and his chest.

"Harry-"

Sirius either didn't finish or Harry simply didn't hear the rest as he jerked the door open and went quickly back into the sitting room; the door thudded dully behind. The eyes of his friends and his father shot over to him instantly.

"Harry?" Severus inquired instantly, but Harry didn't have a chance to say anything as they were interrupted for the final time that night. By Fawkes--and two passengers. Dumbledore smiled as he popped into the room; Tonks, on the other hand was scowling ferociously.

"The Wizengamot has just pronounced Lucius not guilty, and he and his family are being escorted back to Malfoy Manor," Dumbledore announced as Fawkes flashed away again.

None of them had a chance to react.

Tonks strode up to Remus and slapped him sharply across the face. Caught off guard, Remus gasped at the blow; his hand went immediately to the reddened skin. His mouth had formed an incredulous O.

"How could you not tell me?" Tonks' quivering demand echoed loudly in the room that had been silenced by the crack of her palm against Remus' cheek. "It had nothing to do with your being a werewolf, did it?" she demanded hoarsely, and Harry was afraid she was going to start sobbing.

"What?" Remus asked stupidly; perhaps his brain had been jarred by Tonks' blow.

"What was it, Remus?" Tonks asked angrily. "Did you shag someone else, then?"

"Tonks!" Remus objected, his eyes darting around the room at the impressionable teenagers, not to mention, Severus and Albus. "No, of course not...I don't know what-"

"Dumbledore told me what happened, Remus," Tonks bit out. "He told me you'd been cured. Cured! And you didn't tell me! If that was the only reason you couldn't marry me, you would have told me! If there's someone else now, or you just don't want to, Remus, you didn't have to lie. And make such a scene in front of my parents. I would have understood if you--if you-"

Tonks couldn't speak anymore...the gathered tears had started to fall, and she looked completely dejected as she stood, crumpled in front of Remus.

"Perhaps, you'd like to be alone," Dumbledore suggested crisply.

Tonks and Remus paid no attention, but Severus nodded briskly. As Harry was ushered into the fireplace, he saw Sirius, standing near the bottom of the stairs again, his fingers already on the banister. Guilt and resentment stabbed at Harry again, but neither one was allowed to surface before the flames took him back to Hogwarts.

"Mr. Malfoy was acquitted, after all he did?" Hermione demanded as soon as they were all safely deposited in the Snapes' sitting room. "The rest of the trial was less than thirty minutes!"

Dumbledore smiled gently at her. "Lucius' movements will be tracked for the time being...at my insistence. But yes, Ms. Granger, unfortunately what was left of the Wizengamot...and the Minister declared that he was not guilty of any crimes."

"But even if he helped defeat Voldemort, he was still a Death Eater for so many years," she argued.

"The Ministry has its flaws, I'm afraid," Dumbledore told her.

"But Harry, surely you didn't mean for him to get away with what he did," Hermione admonished, turning now to Harry. But Harry didn't want to think about Lucius or whether or not he was literally getting away with murder; his head was pounding again. He pulled his glasses off and rubbed at his eyes with the heels of both palms.

"I don't know what I meant, Hermione," he said tiredly.

"We did believe that at least, Lucius would have been magically restrained within his residence, if Harry's testimony did earn him a reprieve from Azkaban," Dumbledore supplied when it became obvious that Harry wasn't going to contribute to the conversation.

"Perhaps we should wait to continue this conversation," Severus suggested as Harry finally gave into his headache and slouched onto the couch, pulling Ginny with him.

"Of course, Severus," Dumbledore agreed, and was gathering his robes about him in preparation to leave when Fawkes reappeared. The beautiful bird trilled softly beside Dumbledore's ear. Dumbledore sighed. "I had hoped they would reconsider..." He shook his head and turned back to Severus. "Bellatrix has been Kissed."

The resounding silence was deafening.

"But they didn't even give her a trial," Hermione finally squeaked.

"If you remember, Ms. Granger, neither did Barty Crouch, Jr. receive a trial...nor Sirius," Dumbledore responded, his voice sounding very cold all of sudden. He glanced around the room. "I must return to the Ministry," he declared quietly, and then with a flash of light, he and Fawkes were gone.

--

As the dinner hour approached, Harry's headache was making him feel slightly nauseous, but he ignored it and instead, focused on the game of Exploding Snap that Ron had insisted on playing. Hermione had refused to play; she was stewing about the inequities in the Ministry's justice system. Ginny had seemed content to lean into Harry's side while she played.

"You're lucky you need this holiday so much, Harry," she teased him while she traced designs on his palm, making Ron roll his eyes, though Harry was pretty certain he saw him smiling a little.

"Why?" Harry asked curiously, glancing up from the cards he was carefully re-stacking; it was rather difficult with one hand.

"I don't think I'd let you leave otherwise," Ginny told him seriously as she sat up.

"It's only a few days," Hermione reassured her. "And Harry won't be able to get into any trouble with Professor Snape right there."

Harry made a face at his friend. "Thanks Hermione," he said sourly. Hermione shrugged.

"Well, Harry, you do seem to attract an awful lot of trouble."

"It's not his fault," Ron piped up as he crammed his cards back into their pouch, completely mussing up Harry's efforts at organizing them. "It just has a way of finding him, even when he hasn't done anything wrong."

Hermione raised a skeptical brow.

"Sometimes," Harry added pointedly, "I'm caught up in rescuing certain people who've decided to tangle with mountain trolls."

Hermione sniffed. "I did not tangle with him."

"Or," Harry went on, as though Hermione hadn't even spoken, "I'm fiddling with illegal Time-turners with that same certain someone."

"That was Dumbledore's idea!" she hissed indignantly. She glanced at the lab door, where Harry's father was working on a potion inside.

Harry chuckled, which only made Hermione huff. "Yeah, well, you almost got us killed by a werewolf with your little howling trick," he said as he grinned. Hermione's face flushed a bright red.

"Harry!"

"How did you do that?" Ginny asked, never having heard the story.

"Hush, Harry," Hermione ordered. "If Professor Snape hears you-"

"He's my father, Hermione," Harry said as he rolled his eyes. "He's not going to give us detention for using a Time-turner to save Sirius and Buckbeak."

"Time-turner?"

Harry snapped his head around. His father was staring at him, his eyebrows almost touching his hairline.

"Erm..."

"It was Dumbledore's idea, sir!" Hermione blurted, and then clapped her hands over her mouth, her entire face and neck igniting with mortification.

"You went back in time?" Severus demanded hoarsely. "At Albus' suggestion?"

"Er...yeah....I guess so," Harry answered worriedly, more for Dumbledore's neck than his own. His father scowled, and Hermione paled. "Hermione, calm down," Harry ordered quickly. "He isn't angry with you."

The reassurance didn't seem to help at all. Hermione looked like she was about to start hyperventilating.

"Ms. Granger, this was over two years ago. I believe the statute of limitations has been reached," Severus told her dryly, though his eyes were still dark with anger. "And as I am certain that none of you will be using a Time-turner in the near future, I believe we can let the past remain in the past."

Hermione's color was returning to normal. "Oh," she said as she nodded, obviously thinking over her professor's claim that she could no longer be punished for something she'd done two years ago. "The Time-turners were all destroyed," she informed him firmly, sealing their pact in the only way she knew how. Severus said nothing; he was gazing at Harry.

"What?" Harry queried. "You're not going to add this to our list of items to be discussed, are you?" He was only half-serious but his father said nothing, and Harry wondered what he was thinking about.

"It must be getting close to dinner time," Ron interjected. He looked longingly toward the door;

"Do you wish to have dinner before we leave?" Severus inquired, but Harry shook his head. They'd already stayed long past when they'd meant to leave. And he really had no desire to go to the Great Hall, especially if news of Lucius' trial had reached the student body.

"I will retrieve our luggage," Severus said, and with a nod to Harry's friends, he turned toward their rooms.

"Do you think Remus and Tonks will be all right?" Ginny asked as Harry walked with them to the door.

"Tonks is barmy," Ron told them.

"She is not, Ron," Hermione scolded. "She was understandably hurt because Lupin didn't tell her what had happened."

"I'm sure they'll work it out," Harry interrupted before they could get into any more discussion of Remus' or Tonks' mental states. At least he hoped they'd work it out. He smiled down at Ginny, who had moved closer. "I'll miss you, Gin." Ignoring Ron and Hermione for the moment, he said quietly, "We never really had a first date, you know."

"We went to the Halloween dance," Ginny reminded him with smile. Harry shook his head.

"Doesn't count." After all, it could hardly be called a date when his father's impending torture had been hanging over his head.

"Are you asking me, then?" Ginny teased.

Harry laughed softly. "Yes."

"I think she actually wants you to ask her, mate," Ron told him, leaning in a little. Harry gave him a light shove. "Just trying to help," his friend grumbled as he straightened his jumper.

"There's a Hogsmeade Saturday before the Christmas holidays, isn't there?" Harry asked, figuring maybe Ron was right. "Would you like to go with me?" He didn't know why he felt nervous with the question, since Ginny had been his girlfriend for months now.

"I'd love to, Harry," Ginny said with a huge smile. And with that, she stretched up on her tiptoes and planted a happy kiss on Harry's lips. He grinned as he hugged her to him, and set to work returning her kiss. He realized his father might still object, though with the Death Eaters safely in Azkaban, and now that Bellatrix... He shoved thoughts of the insane witch away, and just concentrated on Ginny.

"All right, that's enough of that," Ron grunted, nudging Harry pointedly. Harry smiled as he pulled away from Ginny.

"Leave them alone, Ron," Hermione said, smiling fondly at both of them. She gave Harry a big hug. "Have fun, Harry. Relax and get better, all right?"

"It's not a convalescence, Hermione," Ron groused as he clapped Harry on the shoulder. "But yeah, Harry, have a good time and all that."

"I will," Harry told him. "And thanks."

"Do have fun Harry," Ginny agreed into his ear as she threw her arms around him once more. "And make sure your dad has fun too," she added. Harry, his heart swelling, pulled Ginny close.

"Thanks, Gin. I love you, you know."

Ginny kissed him lightly on the lips. "I know."

Ron, though he'd heard the sentiment from Harry before, gave Harry an odd look as Harry let Ginny go. "Bye mate," he said hastily as he ushered his sister and Hermione out the door. Ginny's hand drifted away at the last moment, and she gave him a little wave before he closed the door. He sighed.

Severus came back in while Harry was still leaning against the door; his lips quirked in amusement. "We will only be gone a few days."

Harry smiled sheepishly as he pushed himself away from the door. "There's a Hogsmeade Saturday, right before Christmas holidays next weekend. Is it...is it all right if I go this time?" he asked as he came over to where his father was standing near the Floo. Severus pursed his lips in thought.

"There is unlikely to be any danger to you. Unless a problem occurs between now and then, yes you may attend," he agreed after a moment.

"Thanks."

The Floo opened at that, and McGonagall stuck her head through. "A letter was just delivered for Harry," she explained to Severus. "I've checked it for anything harmful," she added, holding out a roll of parchment; Severus took it before Harry could.

"Thank you, Professor," Harry said. She smiled at him.

"Enjoy your holiday, Mr. Snape." And then she was gone again. Harry was already distracted by the writing on the scroll by the time the flames had died down again.

"It's from Sirius," Harry told his father, but Severus ran several diagnostic spells before he was satisfied. He finally gave it over to Harry. With trembling fingers, Harry undid the ribbon and unrolled it. Sirius' familiar script jumped off the page.

Harry,

I'm sorry I'm saying my farewell in a letter. And I honestly can't express how sorry I am for everything I said. I don't blame you for not wanting to see me right now. I do understand and I beg for your forgiveness, Harry, whenever you feel like you can give it to me. No matter how long it takes. Perhaps it's better that I'll be gone for a few months.

I want you to know, Harry, that I didn't mean that you were any sort of burden to me. You weren't--not ever. You were actually quite the opposite. Knowing that I'd be able to see you, or simply talk to you soon, was often the only thing that kept me sane.

I understand that you're happy to have Snape as your father, and I can see that you love him. And that he loves you as well, no matter what I said to the contrary. I can't pretend I really understand it, but I won't try to come between you if you do decide you want to see me when I finish with my training.

I shouldn't have questioned you like I did, and I should never have told you that Snape doesn't love you...not when you believed it so fiercely. I'm truly sorry for that. You can't know how much it pains me to know that I've hurt you. I do love you, Harry. Please don't forget that, no matter how angry you are with me.

Or how much you care about Snape.

It wasn't signed.

Harry's eyes stung with tears. The last sentence was hastily scrawled, as if it had been a last-minute thought before Sirius had hurriedly rolled up the parchment without looking at it again.

A last-minute plea.

Harry scrunched the parchment in his fingers until it was crumpled wad.

"Harry?"

Harry shook his head, overwhelmed even more by the concern in his father's voice. "He's gone."

Severus' eyes narrowed. "He should not have left without telling you personally." The anger in his voice was barely restrained.

"It's not his fault," Harry told him as he wrinkled the ball of parchment even further. "I told him to leave," he explained in small voice.

"I do not understand." Severus' eyes had darkened with confusion.

"It doesn't matter," Harry told him. When his father looked about to protest, Harry simply shook his head again. "I don't want to talk about Sirius anymore." To emphasize his request, Harry tossed the smushed letter into the fireplace.

"Harry," Severus said, his voice sounding strained, "you cannot ignore your feelings about this matter. Letting your emotions build up will only lead to another outburst when you are no longer able to keep them reined in."

Harry wasn't certain if his father was referring to his magical or verbal outburst--though he'd actually had several verbal ones in the past few days. He could feel the vague twinges beginning again at the thought of his words to both his father and Sirius. "I'm not feeling up to talking about it right now," he finally said with a shrug. "You can put it on your agenda as one of the topics we need to discuss," he jested; it fell flat. He looked down at his empty fingers, wishing he hadn't been so quick to toss Sirius' letter in the fire.

"I shall," Severus promised. There was a soft whizzing sound. Harry looked up again; his father was holding out the wrinkled parchment. Harry swallowed and took it gratefully.

"Thanks," he murmured; Severus simply nodded. Harry slipped the ball of parchment into the pocket of his jeans. "Do you..." he began awkwardly, "...do you have more Headache Potion?"

Severus looked surprised, but as he studied his son's pinched face, he nodded. He held out his hand and a small vial flew into his hands; Harry didn't miss the gleam of satisfaction in his father's eye.

"Perhaps some fresh air will alleviate your headaches," he said as Harry downed the potion. With a wave of Severus' fingers, the vial disappeared. "You are ready to leave then?" Severus asked smoothly. "We can begin working on that agenda after lunch."

Harry smiled, both at the statement and at his father's distraction tactic. "Do I get any input into this agenda?" he asked as Severus shrunk their bags and slid one into each pocket.

"Certainly," Severus answered easily. "We will begin with the topic of your choice."

"You realize that this is probably not what families do on holiday?" Harry asked, eyeing his father critically.

"I do, and I believe we have discussed that you and I will never be normal," his father returned pointedly as he gathered Floo powder into his fingers. He motioned toward the fireplace. "And," he added seriously as Harry stepped in beside him, "one of the reasons I am taking you on holiday is so that you will begin to heal from your recent ordeals."

"Our recent ordeals," Harry corrected firmly.

"Indeed."

Severus threw down the powder, and with his sharp command, they were whisked away. They stepped out of another Floo only seconds later. Harry grinned, forgetting everything else for the moment.

His first holiday had begun.