Lily's Charm

NotEvenHere

Story Summary:
In a story that spans two decades, Lily and Severus attempt to dispel the power of the Dark Mark after her life is threatened by Eileen Prince. Seventeen years later, Harry uncovers a long-buried truth which changes the course of his life. AU. Complete.

Chapter 34 - Up is Down

Posted:
08/05/2008
Hits:
1,247


1996

Harry was beginning to feel claustrophobic as they sat there in absolute silence. Knowing his father didn't really want to talk in front of Malfoy, Harry focused on the flame, steady and bright in his mind and tried to direct his storm toward it. The storm as usual, didn't want to cooperate; his thoughts stayed firmly in his own head. Without meaning to, he let out a sigh.

His father glanced over, his eyebrows rising a bit in question. Harry shook his head. Are you all right? The flame flicked the question toward him. Harry nodded. Severus studied him for a long minute. How did he do that so easily?

"Who did you call?" Harry finally whispered, leaning in toward his father. His father's eyes immediately lit with amusement, though his face stayed frozen in indifference.

Ms. Tonks, the flame answered, vibrating with a humor to match the dark eyes. Harry stared at his father, not entirely sure what he'd done that was so funny. And what did he want with Tonks? As far as Harry knew, she was still spending most of her nights with the Malfoys, keeping them under close watch.

Harry wanted to ask, but he waited dutifully. He didn't have to wait long, as only moments later the Floo roared. Harry straightened up from where he was slouched against one of the student tables. He noticed his father's posture went erect as well, and Draco...well, Draco practically leapt up from his chair.

"Mother," he breathed, and Harry couldn't tell if he was happy or anxious to see Mrs. Malfoy. Tonks stood behind Mrs. Malfoy, her hair a flaming red again and Harry felt sorry for her. She caught his eye and her lips lifted marginally. Harry sort of grimaced in return.

Mrs. Malfoy stepped delicately into the room, her eyes on Severus. "Good evening, Severus," she greeted formally and to Harry, she gave a little nod.

"Good evening, Narcissa," Severus acknowledged.

Mrs. Malfoy then moved toward her son. "Draco, are you all right?" she asked, her cool façade breaking a little. She was almost breathless as she reached Malfoy. She put a hand up and brushed the back of her fingers lightly against his cheek, the gesture so tender, Harry couldn't help but stare. Draco swallowed and nodded.

"Is Father coming?" he asked, his voice unnaturally high.

Mrs. Malfoy shook her head a little before turning to Severus, though her hand strayed down to rest lightly on Malfoy's arm. "What can I do for you, Severus?" she asked, her voice serene again.

Severus wasted no time in coming to the point. "I need your permission to administer Veritaserum."

Harry's mouth fell open, while a spot of color pinked on Mrs. Malfoy's high cheekbones. Malfoy began stammering. Tonks looked between Malfoy and Severus, her eyes sharpening.

"What's going on, Professor?" she asked quietly, her tone completely respectful. Severus turned toward the Auror.

"I found Draco wandering the corridors alone," he answered smoothly. Tonks' crimson brows rose.

"Was Moody with him?"

"Yes."

Tonks whistled, turning again to study Malfoy.

Mrs. Malfoy's fingers had tightened against Malfoy's arm with her distress. "But surely, it was just a misunderstanding," she insisted, her voice wavering a bit. She turned to her son. "Did your friends leave you, Draco?" The question sounded more like a plea, as though she was telling Malfoy not to give her any reason to collapse. Malfoy's eyes were dancing with anxiety as he looked back at his mother.

"Apparently Draco had plans concerning the Headmaster," Severus interjected before Malfoy could decide whether or not to lie. Mrs. Malfoy inhaled a sharp breath as she stared at her son.

"No, Draco," she whispered. Draco shook his blonde head frantically.

"I didn't do anything," he told her, his voice cracking at the end. Severus stepped forward and Harry almost cringed at the look on his father's face.

"What were you planning Draco?" he demanded, his voice low and silky and a part of Harry shivered at the familiar tone. Draco stared at his Head of House, his face having gone almost deathly pale. His fingers twitched where he held them against his robes and without warning, Severus' hand had lashed out toward Malfoy. He stepped back again, only seconds later and there was a small vial between his first two fingers. It was empty, except the milky blue liquid that stuck in tiny droplets against the inside of the glass.

Before Harry could even register what had happened, his father was moving toward the Floo, wrenching open the box of Powder and throwing it down sharply. "Albus Dumbledore's office, Hogwarts!" he snapped, his voice hoarse with fear. He stuck his head through the flames as soon as they lit.

Tonks, without a word, drew her wand, moving without a sound. And then the tip was pointed between the two Malfoys, Tonks' face twisted in challenge; Mrs. Malfoy began to tremble.

Harry watched as his father's back seemed to relax a bit and then he was whole again and spinning around toward Malfoy and his mother. He pulled the little stopper out of the vial and brought it swiftly to his nose, inhaling deeply. "Where did you get this, Draco?" Severus hissed, waving the vial in front of the Slytherin's face. Malfoy could only stutter before Dumbledore joined the group, stepping sedately through the green flames that had remained.

"Good evening, Narcissa." He smiled benignly. Mrs. Malfoy sagged a little with relief and then she straightened again, her features poised.

"Good evening," she returned. Dumbledore smiled at her before greeting Tonks. Tonks seemed to pay no attention to the Headmaster; her eyes stayed firmly on Malfoy and his mother.

"I don't think there's any need for that, Nymphadora," Dumbledore chided gently and after only a short hesitation, Tonks lowered her wand, stepping back a pace. Dumbledore nodded in satisfaction and turned to Severus.

"Now, what seems to be the trouble, Severus?"

Harry didn't like the way his father was looking at Malfoy and he liked it even less when Severus inquired snidely, "Would you care to do the honors, Mr. Malfoy?" He waved his hand caustically toward Malfoy, urging him to begin.

Malfoy's posture went almost instantly to rebellion, but it was so brief Harry almost missed it before the other boy sagged. "I just wanted him to think I'd tried..." he whispered. Only Dumbledore and Severus seemed unconfused by Malfoy's words.

Dumbledore smiled sadly at the boy. "What's in the vial, Draco?" he asked gently and Malfoy almost looked like he would cry.

But it was Severus who answered, his voice like ice, "Furiae Elixir."

Mrs. Malfoy and Tonks gasped. Harry had no idea what Furiae Elixir was, but it didn't matter. His father intoned, "If he had imbibed that entire vial, the Headmaster's mind would have collapsed." Draco shook his head frantically again.

"But there was nothing in there, Severus. I wouldn't have hurt him! Mother, I swear," he babbled.

Severus looked ready to snarl at the Slytherin boy again, but Dumbledore rested a hand on his arm and Severus said only, "A failed attempt would have done nothing to deter Voldemort." His voice had not lost its venom.

"It might have!" Malfoy insisted, sounding none too convinced. "I had to do something. It's never going to stop. I know it isn't!" Draco cried. "And it doesn't even matter because even if You Know Who dies..." his voice was very small now, very small and pathetic, "...Father will have to go to Azkaban and they'll take me too and I didn't want to hurt anybody. I only thought he'd let Father alone next time--he would have maybe if I tried..." Malfoy didn't seem to realize he was rambling.

As Harry looked around the room, he wondered if anyone else thought Malfoy's plan was completely daft. Well, Tonks did at least. She was shaking her head, almost scoffing in disbelief. Mrs. Malfoy was going paler and paler as she leaned against her son. And Dumbledore and Severus were looking at one another, apparently engaged in some sort of silent conversation.

Well, this was just mad, Harry decided. "No one's going to go to Azkaban," he blurted, and again the eyes in the room moved to stare. Ignoring both their stares and his own peculiar embarrassment, he focused on Malfoy's watery eyes. "Professor Dumbledore won't let you," he said firmly, hoping he was telling the truth, but then actually it didn't even matter. If somehow Harry managed to kill Voldemort, someone would be willing to listen to him...wouldn't they? And no matter what Malfoy had ever done, Lucius had saved Severus. But even as he thought that, the flame flicked sharply, Do not tell him about Lucius. Though surprised at the command, Harry took it in immediately, finding the logic within.

Draco was shaking his head. "Even Dumbledore might not-"

"Look Malfoy," Harry interrupted and he took a step toward the Slytherin as though they were the only two in the room, "after Voldemort is gone, I'll do what I can for you." He ignored the way Malfoy flinched and continued, "But you can't do anything stupid. Just stick to whatever they've told you to do, all right?"

Malfoy stared.

"Just stick..." he echoed and then Harry watched warily as he drew himself up, shaking his mother's nervous hand off. "What the hell is your game, Potter?" he spat, his eyes lit in anger. Immediately, Harry felt his father's fury, the flame biting against his storm. He pointedly moved his storm to shadow the flame and the flame flickered in surprise before dulling again. Harry kept his eyes on Malfoy, who was practically vibrating as he glared.

Harry was trying to decide how to respond to the Slytherin's rage, when Dumbledore put in smoothly, "Harry is simply trying to help you, Draco-"

"Help?" Draco repeated sharply to the Headmaster and then he spun around to face Harry again. "You want to help me?" He laughed harshly. "I don't know what you're trying to accomplish here-"

"I'm not trying to accomplish anything, you stupid prat!" Harry yelled, right into Malfoy's face now; he hadn't even realized he'd moved toward him, but he stayed planted in front of the irritating Slytherin. "I just know what it's like!" he retorted, not quite shouting now, but close enough that Malfoy had inched away. "Waiting for your father, waiting to see if this time is going to be the last time and even for you, Malfoy, I wouldn't wish that!"

Harry's chest was constricting as he tried to get himself back under control; it was easier as he felt his father close by his side. Better still as the familiar fingers squeezed against his shoulder. Harry wasn't sure why it should relieve him so, but he felt almost a wave of release at the contact as he stared at Malfoy.

Malfoy's face went through some odd contortions and Harry wondered if he was going to insist again that he and his father didn't need any pity. Before he could, Harry said quietly, "I understand why you wish you could complete your task."

Malfoy's eyes widened with his shock. His mouth opened and then slowly closed again. The grey eyes seemed to be searching again, just as they had on Halloween and this time Harry hoped Malfoy would find what he was looking for. After a long minute, Malfoy swallowed once and then asked hoarsely, "How can you understand?"

Harry shrugged, letting himself smile a little. "Well, of course I don't want you to kill Professor Dumbledore, but," he emphasized as Draco cringed and Harry's voice hardened, "I would do anything I had to, to save my father." Malfoy's eyes were shining again, though it was more a gleam, and with a glare, Harry added, "Don't kill him though, Malfoy." As he wasn't sure Malfoy was entirely convinced, Harry said seriously, "We need him if you don't want Voldemort sticking around."

And at that, Malfoy sagged again, his shoulders hunching down so that he actually looked centimeters shorter than Harry himself. "You'd help me?" he asked, his voice barely a whisper. He sounded completely pathetic and Harry felt his stomach twist with unease. He shifted so they weren't standing quite so close.

"Er, yeah..." he assured quickly, wondering if Malfoy even realized they'd already covered this.

"Why, Potter?" he demanded petulantly. Harry blinked at the almost constant change in Malfoy's demeanor. "If things had been different, it would have been me trying to bring you to You Know Who," Malfoy told him, sounding both curious and extraordinarily bitter. Severus' stiffened beside him as Harry blanched at the truth in Malfoy's words. But somehow, he could find no anger for the other boy.

"But things weren't different, Malfoy...and people can change."

Malfoy's gaze flicked to Severus and back again to Harry. "And that's it?" he asked skeptically. "Just like that and you don't hate me anymore?"

Harry sighed. "I never hated you, Malfoy." And before the Slytherin could refute that, Harry repeated firmly, "Just don't do anything stupid, all right and it'll be fine." He really had no idea why he was being so nice, but he couldn't bring himself to feel any animosity for Malfoy. Malfoy, seeming equally flummoxed, stared at him.

And then with a start, Harry realized Mrs. Malfoy was watching him as well, as though she couldn't imagine where he had come from. She straightened again, blinking several times before murmuring softly, "Thank you." She curved her fingers again over Malfoy's forearm; Malfoy's jaw clenched and then he gave a jerky nod, looking over Harry's head.

Had Malfoy just thanked him? "Er, well...sure," he stammered quickly as he felt his cheeks warming; he wanted to fidget away from Mrs. Malfoy's crystal gaze. But after only another second, Mrs. Malfoy turned her head away.

Dumbledore cleared his throat and five pairs of eyes swiveled in his direction. He smiled at them. "Nymphadora, if you would be so good as to escort Draco to dinner. His house mates are, no doubt, missing him by now."

Tonks, wincing at her given name, nodded and then turning to Malfoy, she growled, "Don't try anything, Malfoy." He scowled at her, which she returned before casting a Disillusionment Charm over herself. Apparently it must have been easier to ignore the frosty glare from Mrs. Malfoy when you were invisible, because Tonks ordered sharply, "Move it." And Draco with a baleful glare somewhere in the vicinity of Tonks, actually obeyed.

--

Harry sat heavily on his bed, feeling drained. What the hell was happening? Draco thanking him? Draco? When the hell had that happened? Harry let himself fall against the pillow, only to clunk his foot against the box on the floor as he swung it up. Sitting up again, Harry reached down and picked up the lightweight box. James' box. He'd been too busy today to look through it yet. With a little mix of excitement and anxiety, he lifted the lid.

The worry in his gut exploded as soon as he saw the little golden ball. Though one of its silver wings was bent, he couldn't help but go back to the Pensieve memory last year... He wanted to push the lid back onto the box and shove it all away, but he didn't seem to be able to stop his fingers from closing around the Snitch.

But as he did, he heard footsteps coming down the corridor and he had an irrational urge to get rid of the little ball, to hide it from his father. He looked around wildly, looking for a place to stash it.

Severus halted in front of his doorway, and Harry stilled his absurd movements, moving his culprit hand so that it wasn't in view. He watched as Severus' features morphed from ease to concern. He hesitated in the doorway, before asking stiffly, "May I come in?"

Harry, a bit confused by the formal request, paused before he answered, "Er, sure."

Severus hesitated again. Then he stepped carefully into the room as though afraid of what he would find. "Are you all right?" he asked, his voice sounding a little strained. Harry stared at him, realizing only belatedly that his dad could feel his unease through their connection. And he wasn't even sure what he was feeling nervous about. He sighed

"I was just going through James' things..." he explained with a wave toward the box. Severus' eyebrows dropped a bit as he looked at the box and then back again at Harry.

"You are nervous," he stated slowly. Harry pinched his lips together, knowing he was acting like an idiot. He brought his hand up and let his fingers fall open. The Snitch glinted dully against the light; understanding dawned across his father's face.

"Ah." Severus came to sit on the bed, the box in between them. And for some reason, Harry was having trouble making eye contact with him. "Harry." Severus waited until Harry glanced up to continue, "There is no need to trouble yourself about my past."

"I just didn't think you'd want to see this," Harry answered, shrugging quietly, still having difficulty keeping his father's gaze.

Severus' eyes smiled. "That is not the same Snitch."

"Oh." Harry nodded, feeling stupid.

"James was a bit of a show-off, even after his Hogwarts days," his father continued candidly and Harry smiled sadly.

"Yeah, Sirius said so."

"Did he?" Severus looked astonished by the admission. Harry shrugged.

"He and Remus both..." Blowing out the words on a troubled breath, he asked, "How could you just forgive James for everything he did to you?"

"Much like you have gotten past your animosity regarding Draco," Severus answered easily but Harry shook his head emphatically.

"That's not the same thing," he denied. "I've been just as nasty to him at times as he has been to me. James and Sirius were mean to you just because it was you." Severus frowned. And realizing the irony, Harry sighed. "That's different too."

"It is not different at all," Severus said quietly. "It took me much too long to recognize the sacrifice James was making for you and your mother...and even for me. It became impossible after a time to hate him." His mouth twisted as he added, "Even I do not have that much control." Harry tried not to smile, but he couldn't quite manage it. His eyes light, his father continued, "The situation with Draco however is very different. You do not have any reason at all to show him kindness and yet you do." He sounded almost envious.

Harry nudged the little Snitch, but it could do nothing more than tickle its mangled wing against Harry's sensitive palm. "Lucius saved your life," he explained, enjoying the slight fluttering sensation from the Snitch.

"Lucius activated that Portkey for Draco and Narcissa. It was nothing to do with me."

"I know," Harry agreed. He leaned forward, closing his fist around the Snitch and stilling its half-hearted motions. "And he's still a bastard who likely would have brought me straight to Voldemort last year if I'd given him the prophecy but he still saved you. I owe him a debt." He was surprised when his father narrowed his eyes.

"Doing what you can to keep Lucius and Draco out of Azkaban is more than sufficient," he said, his tone clipped. "Do not get any asinine ideas into your head about repaying a debt Lucius does not deserve," he ordered, his eyes glinting. Harry forced himself not to roll his eyes.

"What? You don't want me to be a personal shield for him during a battle?" he asked, his eyes fairly radiating innocence. His father frowned at him.

"Do not even jest about such a thing," he admonished, not amused in the least.

"Sorry," Harry said quickly, tightening his grip a bit on the Snitch. The little ball protested, its wings chafing to be freed. Harry set it gently on the bed, and reached back inside the box, wanting to see what else it would reveal to him. There were a few books, mostly about Quidditch and a few baubles that neither Harry nor his father could figure out the significance of. At the bottom of the box was scrap of parchment.

"Are these runes?" Harry asked, squinting at the strange writing as he pulled the parchment up. Severus held out a hand in query; Harry passed it into his father's fingers. And without warning, the parchment was balled frantically against the long fingers as Severus stood up, the movement so jerky, the box slid to the floor; the contents scattered aimlessly across the stones.

"What's wrong?"

Severus didn't answer as he spun around to the bureau. "Accio Pensieve," he commanded sharply and the heavy Pensieve obeyed, wobbling slightly as it slowly wended downward toward them. Severus plucked it from air as soon as it floated within reach. He clanged it unceremoniously onto Harry's small table.

"Aufero Contego," Severus chanted urgently, running the tip of his wand along the rim and the familiar blue haze settled over the opening. Harry came over to stand next to him, staring curiously between his father and the Pensieve. Without a wasted second, his father stuck the tip of his wand into the silvery-white substance, swirling it in gentle circles.

Harry watched, mesmerized as out of the silver, a misty figure rose--a man with messy hair, an impish grin and spectacles. The man spun merrily. "Isn't that James?" He was greeted with silence. Severus had paled. He reached out a long finger as though to grab the spinning man, and then his fingers moved back and gripped the rim instead, the knuckled fingers white with tension.

"What's the matter?" Harry demanded, thoroughly lost.

"James," Severus whispered.

Well, yeah, Harry could see that. "So?"

His father didn't answer for a long time. Finally, he shook his head. "They are his memories," he explained. "James put them in here and James is the one who wrote this message to me."

"It wasn't mum?"

"It was James," Severus repeated, sounding almost in awe of this enlightenment. And then just as quickly, he chanted another Spell and the ghost of James sank bank into his swirling grave. Severus watched the figure until it was completely submerged before turning quickly toward the mess on the floor. He bent to retrieve the fallen items, replacing most of them before Harry had even turned away from the Pensieve.

Harry scooped up a tattered Quidditch magazine and flopped it haphazardly into the box. He placed the lid on again, wanting to ask his father all the questions that were dancing on his tongue, but he stilled as, without a word, Severus stretched his arm over the closed box. His fingers hovered over the little golden Snitch.

The good wing stretched importantly while its fellow sagged pathetically and then it was pulled quickly against roughened fingers. The wings flapped together once before settling contently against Severus' palm. Harry didn't miss the subtle glint in his father's eye before he tucked the little Snitch into the same pocket where he'd secured Lily's ring.

"Shall we eat?" he asked, his voice composed and almost light. Harry nodded, his heart beating strangely as he followed his father from the room.

--

Harry nodded to Hermione and Ron as they gave him one more glance, just to make sure he still intended to stay after class. Ron waved as they slipped through the door. Remus was finishing up an explanation about one of the curses they had learned this session to Susan Bones and so Harry slouched against one of the tables, waiting. Susan finally adjusted her bag over her shoulder and gave Harry a cheery wave before she left the classroom with one of her friends.

"Well, Harry," Remus said with a smile, moving to lean against the table opposite Harry, "we haven't done this for quite awhile." Harry flushed guiltily at the observation; Remus frowned. "Are you all right?" Remus asked quickly and relaxed just as swiftly when Harry nodded.

"I brought you James' box," Harry told him, drawing it from a pocket. He tapped his wand against the tiny top and it expanded back to its original size.

"Thank you, Harry. Did you look through it?"

"Yeah, we both did." After a short pause, Harry said in a rush, "Dad kept James' snitch." And then, wishing he had held his tongue, he added, "But I don't know that he'd want you to know that..."

Remus looked briefly confused, but said only, "I'm glad he decided to have a look." Harry didn't answer for a time as he ran his pinky along the edge of the box. Remus waited.

"Will you keep trying, Remus?" Harry asked, finally voicing what had plagued his thoughts since his father had tucked the little Snitch into his pocket, not quite able to keep the slight distress from his voice. Remus cocked his head in confusion.

"Trying?" he echoed, leaning forward out of his slouch a little. Harry drew in a breath.

"With my dad." When Remus didn't look any less confused, Harry waved his fingers pointlessly in the air, trying to explain, though he knew he wasn't making much sense. "I mean I know he can be a bit prickly and I know he's sort of harsh with you, but you're not going to give up on him, are you? Being his friend ..."

Remus' features settled into warmth as he gazed at Harry. "Of course I won't give up on him, Harry," he assured him and Harry sighed in relief. He didn't know what he'd been so worried about.

"It sounds daft, but I think he misses James," Harry told him after another minute and Remus' brown eyes grew sad again.

"It doesn't sound daft at all."

Harry nodded, moving his ankle so that one rested on top of the other as he moved his thumb along the crease in his trousers. "I think they were actually friends, Remus," Harry said to his crease, as though telling a terrible secret. Remus chuckled at Harry's revelation. Harry looked up, frowning slightly at his friend's inappropriate amusement.

"Harry," Remus stressed, "they lived together for two years. It wouldn't have worked very well if they were at each other's throats the entire time."

"You say that as though it doesn't surprise you, even a little," Harry accused. Remus shook his head.

"I'd assumed they didn't hate each other anymore," he admitted. "If James wasn't tormenting you, he was surprisingly easy to get along with." Harry wanted to argue about it further, with the same reasoning he'd used with his father last night, but as always, his father had been eminently logical. He shook his head. "You disagree?" Remus asked with a smile; Harry made a face at him.

"I suppose not...but honestly, Remus, can't even one thing stay the same? It's like every perception I've ever had has been completely destroyed!" he complained, feeling frustrated.

"Surely not every perception?" Remus questioned, looking quite shocked. Harry rolled his eyes.

He held up his fingers as he began ticking off his complaints, "James Potter and Severus Snape didn't always hate each other, I care what happens to the Malfoys..." He caught Remus' amused smirk. Okay fine," Harry admitted grudgingly, "not every perception but enough!" Remus grinned at him.

Wanting to shock his friend, get some sort of reaction from him, Harry inquired casually, "Did you know it was James who put those memories in the Pensieve?" He grinned madly as Remus' mouth dropped open. "See?" he said smugly, pointing a finger at Remus, "even you didn't know James cared that much about my dad." He chortled at the expression on his friend's face. Remus shook his head, in an almost dazed manner.

"I didn't..." he murmured and then he shook his head quickly, refocusing on Harry. "I'm glad, though," he said seriously. Harry, his sudden mirth dispelled, nodded. He knew exactly what Remus meant. That look in his father's eyes last night had been enough...

And remembering the other reason he'd stayed after class, he turned his back to his trousers. "I-I never thanked you for everything," he began, thinking of how he'd spent most of the night alternating his thoughts between the Snitch and what his father had said about all James had done for them. Remus had done the same for him in the past months. "For the past few months and especially when-" The recent events were still too fresh for him to be able to complete the sentence but it didn't matter. Remus would understand. He always understood.

"Harry," his friend said gently, "you don't need to thank me." But Harry shook his head.

"I do though," he insisted. He swallowed nervously before continuing, "My dad said one time, and I don't think he really meant it this way, but he sort of implied that I was selfish in our friendship," he said quickly.

"Oh, Harry..." Remus shook his head, standing up and moving toward Harry. He put a hand on his shoulder. "You've never been any such thing," he chided gently. Harry squinted one of his eyes to study his friend. Remus smiled. "Do you have any idea what you've done for me, Harry?" he asked seriously. Harry's brow wrinkled. He had no idea at all...

When Remus spoke again, his voice was rough. "I've spent my life as an outcast, Harry." Harry's inside twinged with hurt for his gentle friend. "I've purposely avoided love and until I came to Hogwarts, I avoided friendships as well." Well, Harry could certainly understand that and it hurt all the more that Remus had had to go through the same sort of hell that he had been through himself.

"Tonks spent months, trying to have a relationship with me last year," he continued, his voice sounding fond and melancholy at the same time, and Harry almost smiled but his friend still looked much too sad. "But there was no reason to pursue a relationship, just as before." When Harry tilted his head in confusion, Remus elaborated, "Werewolves don't typically get married...it wasn't until that day at the Weasley's house this summer that I began to imagine what a life with Tonks could be like."

"But why? What was different?" Harry wondered, even though it felt a bit odd, asking what seemed like such a personal question.

Remus shook his head. "It wasn't anything different really. I don't know if this will make any sense, Harry but I began to realize over the next couple of months that I wanted a family." When Harry still didn't understand, Remus squeezed his shoulder and told him softly, "You made me realize that."

Harry stared at his friend. "I did?"

Remus nodded. "I never knew how nice it would feel to be needed by somebody," he admitted, his voice faraway now. Harry started at the words. The same way his father felt...and he wondered if that's how everybody felt, in some way or another.

"You'll make a brilliant dad someday, Remus," he told his friend, not sure if that's what his friend meant but at the smile that lit Remus' scarred face, Harry knew it was exactly what he'd meant.

They sat together in peaceful silence, until Remus announced casually, "I'm going to ask Tonks to marry me."

Harry almost choked on his tongue. "You are?" he croaked. Remus snorted.

"It's not that amazing," he told Harry, a faux-frown on his face.

"Well, of course not," Harry agreed immediately. A slow smile spread across his face. "It's bloody brilliant, Remus!"

"It is, isn't it?" his friend marveled, with his own smile.

"When are you going to ask her? Do you think she'll say yes?" he demanded excitedly. Remus grinned at him.

"Well as she's already asked me about a dozen times, I think she might," he chuckled. Harry grinned and then while his friend shrunk James' box and walked him to the Tower where he'd planned to meet his friends before dinner, Harry listened to Remus giving him all the details of how he planned to propose to Tonks.

--

His good mood evaporated as soon as he stepped through the Portrait hole and met his best mate's glower.

"Don't start again," Ginny warned immediately as Harry walked tentatively toward his friends.

"Well, why else would you need to have that sort of talk with Mum?" Ron demanded and then switched his glare to Harry. Harry flushed at the memory of Saturday night at Grimmauld place and especially the chat with his father and the ensuing promise of a lesson on Contraceptive Charms.

"We weren't doing anything," he offered quietly. If possible, Ron's scowl deepened.

"Fred and George heard the first part of your little chat with Sna-your dad," he said, his voice laden with accusation. Harry's neck grew hot. Damn those two.

"Oh be quiet, Ron," Ginny told her brother grumpily as she attempted to return to her History of Magic text. "You got the same talk from Dad ages ago."

Ron sputtered as he flushed so deeply, it was impossible to tell where his face ended and his hair began. Harry tried not to laugh, not wanting to antagonize his friend, knowing he would likely be just as protective if he'd had a sister. Ginny had no such compunction, chuckling before she turned back to Harry. "I think Mum was more concerned about you than me." She rolled her eyes. "As if I were seducing you or something."

"Ginny!" Ron objected, looking around the room furtively. Leaning close to Ginny, he whispered fiercely, "You'd better not be-be-well-doing that!"

"Mind your own business, Ron," Hermione told him distractedly, still scribbling furiously on her parchments, as though solidly refusing to be interrupted.

"Yes, do," Ginny agreed, "or I'll tell Mum you need another little chat with Dad."

Harry glanced over a Hermione, expecting that to have forced her hand away from the parchment but she simply starting scratching faster, her eyes looking quite feverish. Ron, flushing again, and mimicked a fish for a few seconds before finally snapping his mouth shut and slumping deep into his chair, his eyes firmly fixed on his lap. Harry looked in between them, but before he could decide exactly what their reactions meant, Ginny changed the subject.

"How was your weekend?" she asked, moving a little closer toward Harry. Harry had a hard time not inching away, his embarrassment still firmly gripping him.

"It was sort of fun," he told her, wishing he could tell her about Highlands Cottage but constrained by the Fidelius Charm, he couldn't. He also wanted to announce Remus' news as well, but as Tonks didn't even know yet, that probably wasn't the best idea. So he settled for telling her more about his connection with his dad. That topic finally got Hermione's quill to still. She listened intently as Harry tried to describe how the two shields worked with one another.

"That was a wonderful idea," she approved. "You'd better get your side to work as well," she told him seriously. "You'd be so much safer then." Ron, Ginny and Harry somehow found a way to turn to each other simultaneously and roll their eyes. Hermione didn't seem to notice as she began rattling off ways for Harry to improve his attempts, immediately warming to the topic.

--

The Headmaster's office door opened for the Potions Master as soon as the staircase stilled. He felt a wave of relief that he was finally able to have this meeting with Albus. He'd wanted to wait until the weekend was over so that Harry wouldn't be around. He didn't know if there was anything to be concerned about yet and there was no reason to worry his son unnecessarily.

"Severus, do come in," Albus welcomed him, waving him in from behind his desk. "How are you, my boy?" he asked.

"I am well," Severus told him, moving to sit in one of the high-backed chairs. Albus nodded.

"And how is Harry?"

"Harry is well," was the regurgitated answer. Albus smiled at him.

"I was impressed with his reaction to Draco on Saturday."

"As was I," Severus told him seriously, enjoying the feeling of pride he felt over his son's behavior toward the undeserving boy, though he didn't much care for the knowing look in the old man's eyes as he studied him.

"What may I do for you, Severus?" Albus finally got to the point after he'd apparently had his fill of self-indulgence.

And wanting to waste no time over the matter, Severus explained, "Harry felt pain in his scar when you took the locket."

Albus looked startled. He leaned forward in his seat, his eyes anxious. "Are you certain, Severus?" he questioned, his words almost frantic. Severus frowned, his suspicions immediately ignited.

"Of course," he snapped. "It started just after you took the locket and ended as soon as I sent him away." Albus drew in a slight breath and Severus sat up straighter in his chair, settling his hand heavily on the desk. "What is it?" he demanded.

Albus gazed at him for a moment before answering, "It may be that Voldemort was aware of what happened and he was attempting to get into Harry's mind." The explanation was perfectly plausible and Severus knew immediately that the old man was lying. He'd heard the Headmaster doing it enough times, though it had never been directed at him. But Severus was a master liar himself.

He narrowed his eyes. "Harry's mind was shielded. Voldemort could not have gotten through his shields," he countered. Dumbledore looked unperturbed.

"The Horcrux was powerful enough to affect me. It is possible that it-"

Severus brought his other hand down onto the desk with enough force to halt the Headmaster's speech. "Whatever you know, Albus, I demand that you tell me now," he ordered through gritted teeth. Albus raised his eyebrows, as though he was surprised by his Potions Master's display. Severus stood, agitated beyond sitting. "I had thought of that myself but as you are obviously attempting to misdirect me, neither one of those explanations hold any validity," he growled. "The only other explanation is that Harry's connection to Voldemort all these years has been stronger than I realized..."

There was naked grief in Albus' eyes and for a brief moment, Severus could see into his soul. The locket burned its image into their minds. And the reactions of both Albus and Harry stood firmly beside it. The reason for Albus' lies. Lily... Harry...

Severus sank back into the chair, his limbs feeling as though they'd been hit with a Jelly-Legs Jinx. "A Horcrux," he breathed. Albus closed his eyes, the pain flowing freely over his face and all at once, a raging fire burned through Severus. He shot back to his feet.

"How could you keep this from me?" Severus' words vibrated with fury.

"It was only a suspicion, nothing more," Albus defended himself as he opened his blue eyes again.

"That is your excuse?" Severus demanded incredulously.

"Severus," Albus began but Severus slashed his hand through the air between them.

"No, Albus," he hissed. "No," he repeated, his voice a whip in the silent room. "I will not listen to your excuses. You have no right to keep secrets about my son from me."

"I was not keeping secrets, Severus," Albus told him, sounding uncharacteristically exasperated.

"No?" Severus challenged. "You weren't guarding this information, hoping Harry would simply go and complete his task, without knowing that he will be giving up his life in order to do it?" Severus was almost shouting, his temples pounding from the effort of keeping his voice below indecent decibels. Leaning in close to the shocked Headmaster, Severus whispered, "Were you afraid he would refuse to finish the task? Afraid he would finally refuse to do your bidding for once?" he mocked, his voice sharp and brittle.

Albus face went ashen and instead of stopping, Severus leaned over the desk so that he was only centimeters from his mentor's face. He hissed into the wrinkled face, "You have gone too far this time, Albus. You will not have anything more to do with my son." He pulled back, and leaving the stunned Headmaster without another glance, he turned from the desk and somehow found his way into the Floo, calling hoarsely for his rooms as the anger and fear began to take over.

In a manner only experienced only one other time by Severus, the Floo spit him out; he stumbled into his sitting room blindly. He caught his hand against the back of one of Lily's chairs and leaned against it, his breathing out of control. He didn't attempt to stop the rage that coursed through him in waves, nor the terror that made his body tremble. This couldn't be.

He couldn't let this be true.

"Harry," he moaned in anguish, sagging down against the chair, not even caring that he was losing all control. He heard the roar of the Floo behind him and he wanted to order whoever it was to get out, but he seemed to have lost the ability to speak. A rushing blackness settled over him and he felt himself sinking to the floor.