Lily's Charm

1980

"Mother," Severus intoned as he was shown into her parlor by the house-elf, Shminge.

Eileen inclined her head and waited for Severus to sit before directing Shminge to pour both of them a cup of steaming tea. The house-elf offered biscuits to Severus, who declined with a slight shake of his head. The little elf departed with a bow.

"I hear the Evans girl is expecting." Severus didn't respond as he studied his mother from under hooded eyes. "James Potter is the father... a cruel blow, Severus," his mother clucked in feigned sorrow for her son. When Severus still didn't give her a reaction, Eileen pressed on, "Though it is rumored that it is a bastard child... they married very suddenly."

It was with considerable effort that Severus' face remained a blank mask of calm at his mother's careless referral to his son as a bastard. Eileen didn't even notice as Severus pushed his thoughts of hatred toward his mother further into the deepest recesses of his mind.

Severus stared blandly at Eileen until, with a sigh of annoyance, she gave up on goading her son, turning instead to the art of the insult. "Lucius and Narcissa were here for a visit only yesterday. Lucius speaks highly of you."

Severus' lip curled as he listened to his mother. What should have been a compliment came out quite the opposite when delivered by his mother; Eileen cast doubt upon Lucius Malfoy's very intelligence with her comment.

"Lucius has been known to be in error, certainly," Severus agreed.

Eileen pursed her lips at her son's impertinence and said snidely, "Lucius Malfoy has his loyalties straight, Severus. Can you make the same claim?"

Severus ignored the heat in Eileen's question and remarked mildly, "I did take the Dark Lord's Mark, Mother."

Eileen gazed at Severus, assessing him briefly before giving a curt nod. "A wise choice. And now that your little Mudblood friend is taken care of, perhaps you can continue in the traditions you were born to."

Severus covered the anger before it could flash in his eyes and stayed perfectly still as he registered the surprise on his mother's undisciplined face. Her use of that hateful word had been carefully calculated in an effort to force Severus to let his true feelings slip.

"Perhaps," he told Eileen simply and was pleased when his mother smiled her thin-lipped smile. With his mother firmly believing that Severus had moved on from his 'infatuation' with Lily, all of them would be immeasurably safer.

xxxxx

It was to an empty house that Severus Apparated back to, hours later. With his heart hammering dizzyingly in his chest, Severus called for his house-elf. Tolly appeared instantly.

"Master is needing something?" Tolly asked eagerly.

"Where is Lily?" Severus asked, his voice ringing octaves above normal with his fear.

"Master James is taking Mistress to St. Mungo's."

"What?" Severus roared at the little elf. "When?"

Tolly twitched nervously as he stammered, "Two-two hours ago, Master."

Severus, with fear gripping him, raced into the fireplace in the parlor. He had just enough presence of mind to place a hurried Disillusionment Charm on himself before grabbing a handful of Floo Powder, flinging it down and shouting, "St. Mungo's!"

The Floo spit him out in the waiting room moments later, and Severus ran all the way to the Maternity section, stopping only to check a parchment on the wall identifying the location of Lily's room. He opened Lily's door carefully and closed it completely before undoing the Charm.

Lily was lying on a bed with white linens, her eyes closed and her hair a bright scarlet splash against the pale pillowcase. Potter was standing beside Severus' wife, her hand held in his. At the sight of Severus coming through the door, Potter glanced indecisively at the hand he was holding, then apparently making a decision, he set his jaw and kept Lily's hand in his.

Severus paid little attention to the contact, however, as he went to the other side of Lily's bed. He assessed her briefly with a clinical wave of his wand, noting her even breathing and the steady heartbeat of their child, safe within her womb. He relaxed considerably and took Lily's free hand.

"What happened?" Severus finally asked, though he didn't take his eyes off of his wife. He heard the rustle of Potter's robes as the other man shifted.

"She was having contractions."

Severus glanced up at Potter in surprise. "But it is much too early."

"Yes," Potter agreed, nodding. "I brought her to see Healer Blunt. She gave Lily some potions to stop the contractions. Blunt wants to talk to both of you... when Lily wakes up," he finished, looking steadily at Severus.

Blunt, Lily's midwife, was brought into their inner circle soon after James came to live with them, against Severus' initial wishes, but Lily had insisted, citing the need for a midwife to understand the complete genetic makeup of her tiny patient. Severus had finally agreed, recognizing that he was not going to win this particular argument. And Healer Blunt, a member of the Order, had proved a trustworthy ally.

Severus brushed a lock of Lily's hair away from her unusually pale face before asking, "When did Blunt give Lily the Sleeping Draught?" Severus could easily detect the potion on Lily's breath as her chest rose and fell.

Potter, to his credit, betrayed no surprise that Severus had known about the potion as he answered, "Right after she stopped the contractions. Lily was distraught...." He trailed off, and again, Severus eyes pierced up to Potter's as he caught the pain in the other man's voice. Severus, however, felt none of the usual pleasure at the other man's discomfort. Instead, he felt an unfamiliar twinge of something almost unrecognizable as he studied the Gryffindor holding his wife's small hand protectively.

Severus didn't have time to ponder this development as Healer Blunt strode in after a sharp rap to Lily's door. "Severus," she greeted warmly to the Potions Master as she came into the room. "I'm glad you're here."

"Healer," Severus returned. "What happened?" Blunt waved her wand in a fashion akin to the way Severus had waved his own over Lily only minutes before. The midwife narrowed her eyes as she studied Lily before turning back to Severus.

"Lily's body went into labor early, but I was able to stop it. Lily and the baby are fine," she answered Severus' unspoken question and then hesitated.

"Something is wrong, Healer?" Severus asked, not bothering to hide his anxiety.

Blunt shook her head. "No, but I do have to insist that Lily remain as relaxed and as rested as possible for the foreseeable future. She should not have any undue stress." Severus' stomach clenched in guilt as he nodded at Lily's midwife. Circumstances had led Lily to experience far too much stress, Severus knew.

"Of course, Healer," Severus murmured.

Blunt nodded briskly. "Good. I will be back when Lily wakes up," she promised.

Again, Severus nodded. "Thank you," he said, looking up at the midwife as she turned to leave the room.

Blunt's gaze flicked to Potter and she said coolly, "Thank James. Had he not been there to bring Lily to me, it is very possible that you could have lost your son... and your wife." Severus felt the color drain from his face at the midwife's words. Blunt studied the trio for a moment before taking her leave.

Thank Potter?

The concept was unfathomable to Severus. How could he utter those words to a man he had despised for more than a decade? But as he watched his wife's peaceful, sleeping form, even Severus had to recognize the debt of gratitude he owed his long-time enemy, and not just for this act tonight.

For months, Severus had refused to acquiesce to his wife's insistence about how much Potter was giving up in order to protect her... to protect Severus' family. Severus' heart warmed in his chest as his eyes lingered over the bump under Lily's sheet. Without thinking about it, he grazed his fingertips over Lily's swollen abdomen.

Severus realized with a start that even his formidable pride was nothing to the love he already felt for this person he didn't yet know. The silence overwhelmed the room for many minutes before Severus finally looked up again. Potter met his gaze evenly, without rancor.

"Thank you." Severus' voice was absolutely frigid, without any feeling, but Potter seemed to understand the depth of the sentiment, anyway.

The Gryffindor smiled at him. "You're welcome, Severus."

Severus stiffened at the use of his given name. He stared at Potter for many long seconds before nodding curtly and returning his attention to the woman between them.

--

1996

Harry was waiting impatiently for Dumbledore's staircase to complete its upward spiral toward his office. He had received an owl during dinner from the Headmaster, requesting his presence 'post haste' in the old man's loopy script.

"What do you suppose he wants?" Hermione had asked, to which Harry had shrugged. He had long given up trying to figure the Headmaster out. To Harry's thinking, Dumbledore was equally likely to present him with the recipe for lemon drops, as he was to give him a complicated reason for offing Voldemort by sundown the next day.

Ron had guffawed loudly when Harry had said as much, while Hermione favored them both with disparaging looks. Harry smiled at the memory of Ron responding by making a face at Hermione while she scooped up a second helping of treacle tart.

Dumbledore's staircase finally stopped spinning and Harry knocked lightly on the Headmaster's large door. The door swung open for him and Harry stepped gingerly over the threshold.

"Harry, my boy, do come in." The Headmaster smiled and waved Harry forward. Harry smiled back at the Headmaster hesitantly as he remembered the wild fit he'd had in this office at the end of last term; his face heated in embarrassment.

Dumbledore smiled kindly at him. "The past is past, Harry. Please make yourself comfortable." Harry wondered, as he often did, at the Headmaster's ability to jump right to where Harry's mind was. He didn't ponder it long, though, as he was eager to get on with whatever the man was going to say.

"Thank you, sir," Harry said politely and chose one of the plush chairs in front of Dumbledore's desk.

"Shall we get straight to business, then, Harry, as I know you are eager to return to your friends?" The old wizard's eyes were twinkling merrily at Harry's sheepish look. Dumbledore nodded briskly and inquired, "Have you met our new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Professor Sundry?"

Harry nodded. He'd had class with the slightly maniacal-faced witch only this morning.

"She has been called back home, I'm afraid, Harry," Dumbledore continued. "As our luck would have it, however, I've found a replacement. I've received his answer in the affirmative just this very hour." Dumbledore smiled at Harry's confusion.

"I don't understand, sir."

"Of course not, Harry. How could you, when I haven't explained?" The old blue eyes danced behind the Headmaster's half-moon spectacles and Harry bit the inside of his cheek in annoyance. Couldn't the man just talk without all the riddles?

"Perhaps you will understand in a moment. If you'll turn your attention to the Floo, Harry," Dumbledore requested, and Harry turned toward the old fireplace, still perfectly befuddled.

Harry was about to ask what exactly the Headmaster was up to when the Floo roared to life and the telltale green flames rose up. A moment later, Harry gaped at the man who stepped out.

"Remus?" he asked incredulously, and without another word, Harry threw himself at his friend and Remus immediately had the boy in a tight hug.

"It's good to see you, Harry," Remus told him quietly as his friend squeezed warmly and then pulled away slightly to look at Prongs' son.

"You're going to teach here? But I thought the parents wouldn't like it," Harry blurted thoughtlessly before he could stop himself.

"We're at war, Harry. Things change," Remus told him simply, and though Harry really didn't understand how much things were changed by war, he nodded anyway.

"Professor Lupin," Dumbledore greeted warmly and Remus smiled at him. "Welcome back."

"Thank you, Headmaster," Remus acknowledged.

"Won't you sit down? You too, my boy," Dumbledore directed as he gestured to the two chairs in front of him, and after a light squeeze to his shoulder from Remus, Harry sat down again.

Dumbledore surveyed both of them for a minute before saying conversationally, "I had a meeting with Professor Snape earlier this evening." Harry's stiffened at the mention of Snape. Dumbledore, however, didn't appear to notice Harry's discomfort. He continued right on, "I believe it might be wise, Harry, for the two of you to resume Occlumency lessons."

Harry stared the old blue eyes--eyes that had dulled in the last minute. He tried hard to push down the anger he felt rising up through his chest. Dumbledore must have known about Snape. And no matter what sort of excuse the old man would give him, Harry knew he wasn't going to listen to it. And he wasn't going to endure any more sessions at Snape's mercy, either. Especially not now. "I can't," Harry said quietly, looking straight into the Headmaster's eyes.

"Harry!" Remus scolded, quite surprised by Harry's defiance. Harry turned to Remus briefly with a calculating look in his eye and then turned back to Dumbledore with a frown.

"Is that why you asked Remus back, then? You needed someone to look out for me in case Voldemort makes me go barmy again?" he asked bitterly.

Dumbledore didn't appear at all perturbed by Harry's disrespect.

In contrast, Remus was gazing at his young friend reproachfully. "Harry," he began, but Dumbledore held up a quieting hand.

"It's quite all right, Remus," he said without taking his eyes off of Harry. "Harry," he continued, "I know you and Professor Snape had some difficulties last year-"

"Difficulties?" Harry interrupted, his anger bubbling over much faster than he would have liked. "Snape hates me. Not to mention that the man can't teach Occlumency at all!" Harry folded his arms jerkily over his chest. He knew Remus was staring at him; his mouth was twisted in a firm frown of disapproval. And though Harry felt a twinge of guilt for speaking so rudely to the Headmaster, he couldn't bring himself to care enough to apologize.

"Professor Snape has agreed to try again. I would appreciate it if you would do the same, Harry," Dumbledore continued as though Harry had not interrupted, although his voice had taken on an unfamiliarly hard edge.

Harry kept his eyes down, staring resolutely at his knees. He couldn't agree to this. It would take Snape only about five seconds to pull out of Harry's memory his time in the Pensieve and he wasn't going to let that happen. He just wasn't.

Harry drew in a deep, calming breath and looked up again, this time looking Dumbledore straight in the eye. "Professor, I'll try to learn Occlumency." Dumbledore smiled, but Harry wasn't done. "But not with Snape," he finished defiantly.

"Harry, that's enough." Remus by this time was standing and glaring at Harry. Harry met Remus' eye and then promptly looked down again, startled by the ire in the other man's gaze. "You'll do as Professor Dumbledore asks. What has gotten into you?"

Harry didn't think Remus was actually expecting an answer, so he didn't respond. He also didn't look up again at his old friend, not wanting to see the disappointment he hadn't seen since his unauthorized trip to Hogsmeade during Third Year.

"Harry," Dumbledore's voice was gentle as he spoke again and Harry bit his lip. He didn't particularly enjoy upsetting the Headmaster, but what could he do? Occlumency lessons weren't an option. "I'm afraid, my boy, that I'm not giving you a choice. Professor Snape is expecting you at seven o'clock tomorrow evening."

Harry made his decision then and stood up slowly to face the Headmaster. He realized he would probably regret it, but he did it anyway. "You'd better tell him not to be then, because I'm not going anywhere near Snape tomorrow night." Harry delivered his words quietly, and without waiting for a response from either of his professors, he turned and walked out of the office, leaving two very shocked wizards in his wake.

xxxxx

Harry stormed his way up the enchanted staircases and snapped, "Insidiae," at the Fat Lady, who looked affronted, but let him in, anyway. Harry stomped over to his favorite chair by the fireplace and flopped into it with a huff. Ron, who was occupying the other chair, looked up in concern at his friend.

"What happened?"

"Dumbledore wants me to take Occlumency lessons again with Snape!" Harry fumed, outraged by the entire situation. Why did the overgrown bat have to be his father? The idea of Occlumency lessons with the Potions master was bad enough already without having to worry about the man finding out that Harry knew his secret.

Ron was looking at Harry sympathetically. "Bad luck, mate. But it can't be as bad as last year, yeah?" He shrugged.

"Are you mad, Ron? I can't let Snape read my thoughts!" Harry stared at his ginger-haired friend as though Ron had grown another set of ears, and after a moment's confusion, Ron finally nodded slowly in understanding.

"Right, Harry. Sorry."

Harry groaned and closed his eyes, leaning the back of his head as far into the cushion as was possible. He knew Ron was probably staring at him, but he didn't care. "What are you going to do?" Ron asked after awhile and Harry smirked a bit.

"I told Dumbledore no."

Harry cracked an eye open and smiled fully as he watched Ron staring at him. "You told Dumbledore no? Just like that?" he asked, awestruck.

Harry shrugged. "Yeah." There was a pause and then he added casually, "Oh, and Remus is back to teach D.A.D.A. this year." Harry smiled at his friend's whoop of joy before closing his eyes again.

Harry's plans were quickly changed the next evening after dinner when McGonagall entered the Gryffindor common room, a sour look on her face. All the students looked up at their Head of House in surprise; she didn't often come into the tower. McGonagall surveyed the room briefly before her eyes fell on Harry.

"Potter, come with me," she ordered.

Harry looked at her in some surprise, having no idea what his professor could want with him. "Ma'am?" he questioned as he stood up slowly.

"Now, Potter. I don't have all night and the Headmaster's waiting," McGonagall said impatiently. Harry's insides clenched painfully. That sneaky bastard, he thought bitterly, though he did have to give credit to the man. Dumbledore knew he wouldn't dare defy McGonagall.

With a defeated sigh, he followed McGonagall out the portrait hole and down the stairs; they stayed quite still for the professor. Neither Harry nor his teacher said a word to one another as they made their way to Dumbledore's office. Harry was scrambling to figure out what he was going to say to Dumbledore.

What could Harry possibly say to make the man see he couldn't do what he was asking? Harry had almost decided that honesty might be the only way, no matter how wretched the prospect was, as they reached the Gargoyle guarding the Headmaster's office.

"Peppermint Pizzazz," McGonagall said sharply to the Gargoyle and then the two of them were spinning upward toward the Headmaster's office. At the door, McGonagall rapped twice before the it swung open.

Harry couldn't help it. He laughed at the sight that awaited them. Dumbledore, Snape and Remus were standing in front of the Headmaster's desk, like some sort of twisted phalanx.

Snape's lip curled at the sound of Harry's laughter. "You believe your defiance a joke, do you, Potter?" he spat out caustically and Harry smiled at him.

"Apparently, it's no joke if it takes four of you to get me here," Harry told him flippantly.

McGonagall snapped around to look at him, her mouth set in a thin line. "That will be quite enough of your cheek, Mr. Potter, or we will conclude this meeting with a detention." Harry colored slightly at her admonishment.

"Yes, ma'am," he said quietly, even though he was seething inside at Snape's sanctimonious expression. McGonagall nodded at Harry in approval before turning back around to face the Headmaster.

Dumbledore cleared his throat before saying to Harry, "Thank you for coming, my boy. Professor Snape has agreed" --a mutter from Snape proved otherwise, but Dumbledore continued easily--"to allow Professor Lupin to sit in on your lessons, if it will make you more comfortable."

Three of the adults watched Harry expectantly, while Snape glared at the boy as if daring him to admit he was so weak as to be uncomfortable in his presence. Harry glared right back at the Potions master and gritted his teeth.

"I'm not uncomfortable," he stated firmly.

Dumbledore looked at him in gentle confusion. "Can you tell us, then, Harry, why you do not wish to continue with your Occlumency lessons, when it is most imperative that you do so?"

Harry stuffed his fists into his pockets in a vain attempt at nonchalance. It was obvious that nothing short of the truth was going to help him here, though he was beginning to wonder if even the fact that Harry knew everything the Headmaster and Snape had been hiding would be enough to deter either of them.

Probably at least Snape, Harry mused. After all, the man would be mortified, wouldn't he, to learn that Harry knew the truth? Most likely, Snape would be the uncomfortable party, as it seemed he'd done everything he could to ensure that Harry never found out the truth.

And with every part of him vibrating with vindictive relish, Harry smiled at Snape.

xxxxx

Severus narrowed his eyes in suspicion at the sudden shift in Potter's mood. What was the boy up to?

"All right," Potter said in what Severus recognized as a calculating tone, though it seemed Potter was trying to sound self-assured instead--the attempted bravado so like the brat's father. Severus couldn't believe he had once found himself feeling anything less than hatred for James Potter. Severus Occluded his mind against thoughts of the traitorous Gryffindor and waited impatiently for Potter's brat to continue.

When Potter just continued to stare stupidly at him, Severus growled, "Well, Potter? Even you come up with a better explanation that 'sure'." Potter raised a brow at Severus, and Severus raised a mocking one in return. Would the miniature Gryffindor never get on with it?

"No, I meant all right, go ahead, yell 'Legilimens' and let's get this over with."

Severus examined Potter with acute suspicion, though he made sure to cover his surprise. Occlumency lessons last year had been an exercise in humiliation for Potter, due to the boy's predictable lack of any natural talent in the area. It was doubtful, Severus was certain, that the boy wanted his other three professors to witness his embarrassment.

Minerva and Lupin were looking at Harry in concern, while Albus, the old fool, was looking quite pleased with Potter's sudden change of heart. Well, Severus decided with a malicious sneer, if Potter was stupid enough to ask, then Severus would certainly comply.

In one smooth motion, Severus had his wand out. He waved it in a meticulous motion and said calmly, "Legilimens."

xxxxx

Harry realized the flaw in his plan too late. The memory wouldn't embarrass the Potions master, as Snape would be the only one to see it inside Harry's mind, and of course, Snape wouldn't share what he'd seen with the others in the room. In a moment of wild panic, Harry yelled, "Wait!" but Snape was already chanting the spell.

Harry stumbled back with the force of Snape's mental intrusion, and he tried to force his thoughts away from the Pensieve memory, but all that meant was that Harry was thinking about the memory even harder, and within a minute, the events from the Pensieve filled his mind for Snape to see.

His mother caressing baby Harry's face. James' hesitation as he spoke to Lily. Snape bursting into the room and cradling little Harry in his arms.

"We would like Harry's middle name to be James... after you."

"No!" Harry was shouting, but he needn't have bothered. Snape had broken off contact with his mind abruptly, and Harry was flung backward onto Dumbledore's floor with the force of it. Snape glared at Harry as he towered over the boy, Snape's breathing much heavier than normal. He sneered as Remus knelt beside Harry, touching the boy lightly on the shoulder.

"Harry, are you all right?" Remus asked gently, but Harry couldn't answer him. He was waiting with his breath drawn as he watched Snape's livid features. What would the man do? Would Snape deny the truth right to Harry's face? Harry's insides turned to ice as something in Snape's face twisted and it almost looked like the man would smile.

Instead, Snape sneered down at Harry and said coldly, "So, Potter. You hoped your little trick would wound me in some way? Maybe you wished to embarrass me?" Snape paused as he watched Harry's face contort through several emotions before continuing, the vindictive glee in his voice quite clear to all, "Fortunately for both of us, Potter, your little memory was nothing but a lie."

Harry couldn't believe it.

He struggled up from the floor with Remus keeping a steadying hand on his arm. "You're the one who's lying!" Harry spat as he faced Snape.

Snape regarded him with raised eyebrows. "Am I?" Without a word, Snape reached out suddenly and grabbed Harry's chin in his calloused hand, yanking the boy's face up toward his own. Harry, startled beyond speech, tried desperately to pull himself away, but Snape held him firmly. "Look at me," he commanded in a voice that chilled Harry to his core. Harry stilled and obeyed.

And then he lost himself completely as his mind plunged through a confusing series of images. Blurred memories that were not his own flashed through Harry's mind. The images began to slow and sharpen in their focus and Harry became the memories... became Snape.

Lily was seated behind the bench in his lab. She was chopping something with a small knife, and every few seconds, she darted nervous glances over at Severus, who was methodically stirring a cauldron, pretending not to notice his wife's odd behavior.

After a few minutes of Lily's ridiculous staring, Severus finally looked up from his potion. He had had enough of Lily's silence. He frowned at her and asked quietly, "Lily, what is it?"

Lily looked confused and shook her head. "Nothing. I'm fine," she told her husband, but her voice sounded distant. She sounded nothing like his Lily.

Severus stopped stirring abruptly and turned to face Lily fully. He didn't even bother to place a Stasis Charm over the cauldron, a measure of just how distressed he was; he could endure no more of this. "Lily, you have barely spoken a word in two days. If you are angry with me-"

Lily interrupted with a heavy sigh. "I'm not angry," she told him tiredly, and then, before he could question her further, Lily's eyes took on a hard edge and she lifted her chin slightly, and Severus recognized the determination in her face. "I have to tell you something, Severus."

Severus' eyes narrowed as he studied her. He Occluded his mind quickly. Whatever it was, Lily obviously knew it would make him angry, so Severus prepared himself. "What is it?" he finally asked, his features a passive mask.

Lily bit her lip again and turned away, which made Severus clench his jaw in anticipation. This was more worrisome than he had originally thought. Lily's voice was barely audible when she spoke again. Severus had to lean forward in order to hear her next words, as his wife whispered, "James is Harry's father. I wasn't sure before, but... I am now."

Severus reared back as though he had been slapped, his eyes wide as he stared at her.

"What?" he rasped out, the question a strangled cry. It couldn't be, he wanted to shout at her. It wasn't true. Harry was his son, not Potter's. His son. But Lily was looking at him now with such anguish. Severus' heart tore into pieces. He felt himself falling, losing himself completely to endless shadow as his life was rent from him.