Lily's Charm

1996

"This is where we put freaks," his father jeered at him, before the little cupboard door slammed.

Harry stared at the door as the red and gold common room began shrinking, darkening until he could barely breathe. He flung himself at the portrait hole, screaming at the Fat Lady to let him out. She smiled down at him, her face cold, "Did you really think your father would want you, Harry?" She laughed shrilly as the room continued to shrink; the cupboard walls were pressing in on him.

"Let me out!" he cried, as the spiders overhead leered at him. "Let me out!" he shouted again, and then he gasped wildly as he found himself sitting in his bed, his father's hands on his shoulders.

"Harry," Severus was saying in a calming voice, "it's all right." Harry stared at him as he attempted to reorient himself. "Breathe deeply," Severus directed. Harry drew in a couple of breaths, shivering as he did. Severus squeezed his shoulders, but didn't withdraw. "You had another nightmare?"

Harry didn't answer; the horrible vision of his father throwing him into his old cupboard had been too much.

"Was it Halloween again?" Severus pressed. Harry shook his head, looking away, though it made little difference as his father's face was just a blur anyway. "Harry?"

"It was a just a dream," Harry told him as he turned back. There was a pause as Severus removed one of his hands from his shoulder and then Harry felt his glasses tucked into his palm.

"You were shouting," he said quietly, and Harry felt a surge of guilt.

"Sorry," he offered quickly, "I didn't mean to wake you." He slipped his glasses on; his father's face came into focus. He was frowning.

"What were you dreaming about?" Severus asked, ignoring Harry's apology, but Harry just shook his head again.

"I'm all right," he said with a little shrug. Severus brought his other hand up to Harry's shoulder again. He narrowed his eyes a little.

"Do you remember me telling you that it was a mistake to keep your feelings to yourself?" he asked seriously. Harry closed his eyes briefly, stilling the black storm that had gathered in his mind.

"My cupboard," he said gruffly, keeping his eyes firmly closed. His father's fingers gripped against his shoulders and Harry stayed very still, not wanting to lose the contact; he felt so cold.

"Your cupboard." It was a dull echo of pain and Harry nodded, wishing he could have just dreamed of Voldemort again.

"I'm sorry," he repeated hoarsely, not able to stop himself. "If I hadn't said those awful things to you, I wouldn't have been so worried that you wouldn't want me and now I'm having new nightmares..." Harry's ramble trailed off as the grip on his shoulders tightened a bit before lessening again--but his father's hands stayed. Harry opened his eyes. Severus' dark eyes were lighter now and he was almost smiling.

--

"I believe this is one disagreeable habit you cannot claim to have gotten from me," he said with smirk. Harry furrowed his brow, looking thoroughly confused. "This need you have to continually apologize," he explained. Harry frowned. Severus shook his head. "You've apologized enough, Harry. Yes, you said something hurtful and although you did not mean to, you should not have said it," he continued, letting his voice hold a slight rebuke. Harry immediately lowered his eyes, though Severus felt him relax slightly under his hands.

Severus continued, changing his tone so that it was a bit gentler, "I accept your apology." Harry looked up. His emerald eyes had lost some of their worry and Severus almost sighed in relief. If he'd known Harry would have found such release at his words, he would have offered them earlier. Damn Lupin for being right though; Harry obviously did need to be held accountable for what he'd said, no matter that Harry had needed to say it.

Squeezing his son's shoulders again, Severus said firmly, "I would like to discuss your dream." Harry nodded, his eyes losing even more of their edge and Severus allowed himself to smile; Harry smiled in return though the expression was much too hesitant for Severus' comfort. He let his hands fall back to his thighs, leaning forward a bit. "You dreamed you were back at the Dursleys?" he prodded. Harry bit his lip.

"My uncle was tossing me in my cupboard, yeah."

His anger immediately ignited, Severus demanded, "Tossing you in?"

Harry shrugged, not looking particularly bothered. "He locked me in there when I did accidental magic sometimes," he explained. Severus had known that already, but to hear his son speak of it so casually...

Severus' frowned. Harry cheeks were tingeing pink and he was rolling the edge of his blanket into a neat spiral. "Harry," he pressed gently, putting his hand on the back of Harry's neck. Harry looked up again, inhaling in a deep breath.

"Before the door closed..." he slid his eyes away, "...it was you...and then I was locked in the tower and I couldn't get out, but it was the cupboard again and I was just laying there, screaming for the Fat Lady to let me out, but she wouldn't because you didn't want me and the spiders were so close, I could feel them breathing on me!" He struggled to catch his breath and not knowing what else to do, Severus pulled his son to him.

Without even pausing, Harry leaned in and pressed his cheek against Severus' shoulder, as though he'd been anxiously waiting for Severus to embrace him, and Severus felt a pang of guilt that he hadn't offered his son any comfort earlier. Harry had been denied physical reassurances almost his entire life and no matter how much he would insist that he was too old to be comforted this way, it was painfully obvious that his son craved such contact and Severus vowed silently that he would not forget it again.

He put one arm tightly around Harry, resting his other hand on the side of his son's head. "Harry, you can stay here as long as you wish," he promised, understanding from the dream that his son was more anxious than he'd let on about returning to his dorm. He felt Harry draw in another breath.

"I can?" he asked, sounding surprised. Severus nodded, pressing the tips of his fingers into Harry's hair.

"Yes," Severus assured his son and Harry nodded against his shoulder.

"Thanks," he murmured. Severus shook his head.

"You do not need to thank me, Harry. This is your home." Harry nodded again, but otherwise didn't respond.

After a few more minutes, Harry pulled away, looking embarrassed. Severus patted his leg reassuringly; Harry smiled before looking down again, his lip worrying between his teeth. Severus waited patiently for his son to say whatever was on his mind.

"Why did you say you were sorry...when you came into my room last night?" he finally asked. Severus closed his eyes for a moment, debating quickly if there was anything to be gained from a discussion of his childhood.

"I thought I had frightened you," he admitted finally and then he tensed when Harry looked away. "Harry..." he pressed, "...did I frighten you?"

"I...just, well, you were awfully mad..." Harry shrugged, still not meeting Severus' eye.

Knowing this was too important for Harry to be focused on anything else, Severus maneuvered his head so that he was gazing into his son's green eyes.

--

Harry felt a surge of nervousness course through him as his father lowered his head so that Harry was staring into black eyes; they were glinting with intensity.

"Harry, I promise that I will never physically hurt you." Harry blinked a few times, startled by the unexpected statement. "Do you understand that?" Severus asked, his voice brimming with some kind of pain. Harry nodded, though he couldn't really understand why it should be so important, but he did believe the words. Severus continued to hold his gaze, and Harry watched as the dark eyes grew stormy and then stilled again.

"I spent much of my childhood, fearing Tobias," Severus continued and Harry's gut twisted. He instinctively reached out a hand to place it comfortingly on his father's arm.

"He hurt you?" he whispered, feeling disgusted at the thought that a father would hurt his own child. Severus pursed his lips.

"He was not a nice man," was all he said and Harry nodded. He understood that he wouldn't want, or perhaps even be able, to go into details about what had happened to him as a child and Harry couldn't help but feel anger at Tobias Snape.

"I know you wouldn't hurt me," Harry assured him and his father's face relaxed. He studied Harry for a moment longer.

"I am grateful for your faith in me," he finally said, his voice very serious and Harry didn't know how to respond to that, though the words made him flush even as he smiled a little. Severus' eyes warmed as he sat up again. "You should go back to sleep," he suggested and Harry shifted a little, feeling uncertain.

"I'm not really tired...I'm sort of hungry though," he said quickly. For some reason, that made his father frown. Harry fidgeted. He didn't mean to be a bother...

"I forgot about dinner last night," Severus said quietly. "I apologize, Harry." Harry frowned at the faint disgust he could detect in his father's voice.

"That's all right. I didn't notice." He shrugged, feeling rather foolish for not noticing something like that. Severus slanted him a look.

"How often did those Muggles punish you by withholding meals?" he asked sharply and Harry drew back a little, surprised by the question. He wasn't sure how he felt about this new policy of openness his father was currently so insistent upon, but he supposed it was better than being so nervous he couldn't even eat. So, he shrugged again.

"I don't know that it was always really a punishment," he disagreed. "They didn't really like to waste food on me," he said with a wry smile, thinking of how much food had been pumped into Dudley.

"Waste food on you!" Severus all but sputtered, outraged. Harry frowned suddenly.

"I didn't think you were trying to starve me or anything last night," he rushed out, his throat constricting. How much pain had he caused his father last night? Severus shook his head, clearly still annoyed by the Dursley's treatment. He stood up abruptly from the bed.

"Come," he commanded imperiously. "We will eat."

--

After his father was satisfied that Harry was sufficiently filled with food, they spent the rest of the morning working, first on the Transfiguration lesson Harry missed--more magical properties of blood, and then they went over the details of the Potion they'd be brewing in class, as Severus stressed that this sort of detailed analysis was the way Harry should have been studying for the past five years. And then they'd devoted the next few hours to going over various mental exercises to assist in the emotional control Severus was also insistent upon.

"Did you practice the exercise we originally worked on?" he had asked, his voice overly accusatory in Harry's opinion. When Harry had nodded, his father had said sternly, "I want you to practice it every morning. Understood?"

"Yes, sir," he'd replied only to watch as Severus pursed his lips. Harry realized then that the morning's conversation had been peppered with sirs, but Harry restrained himself from offering an apology, telling himself that he just needed to stop being such a baby. After all, his father had said he'd forgiven him...

He kept that thought firmly lodged in his mind until it was time to leave for lunch, though it didn't keep him from feeling so stiff, but Severus said nothing about it and Harry felt even guiltier with his father's attempts to keep him from feeling worse.

"I will walk you to class after lunch," Severus told him as he adjusted his teaching robes before they entered the Great Hall.

"I can just walk down with Ron and Hermione," Harry objected quickly but Severus shook his head.

"Not until I have a chance to speak with Dumbledore," he said, his tone holding enough of a warning that Harry didn't argue, though he was pretty sure he could have somehow managed the trek to the dungeons without getting into a fistfight.

He must have looked annoyed though, because Severus sighed. "It is not because I do not trust you to keep out of trouble, Harry," he assured him. "Albus is attempting to find a way to keep you safer." When Harry didn't answer, Severus turned and started walking into the Hall; Harry caught up quickly so he wouldn't have to trail behind and give the entire school something else to gossip about. They gathered just as much attention as they had the first time anyway, though Harry didn't remember feeling so anxious on Tuesday.

Severus squeezed his shoulder once they reached the end of the Gryffindor table, before going up to the Head Table. Harry hurriedly sat next to Ginny. She took his hand and though it was rather difficult to eat left-handed, he didn't let her go.

"Are you all right?" she asked immediately. He nodded, before turning to Ron and Neville.

"I'm sorry about yesterday. I didn't mean to get you into trouble."

Ron shrugged. "Well, we couldn't just let those other three join in, could we?"

Neville nodded his agreement. "Yeah, Harry, the rest of them were about to attack you," he added seriously. Harry shook his head.

"Well, I am sorry anyway...about the detentions as well." The other boys made faces at that; Harry frowned in sudden thought. "McGonagall didn't send owls home about it, did she?" he asked worriedly, nervous especially about Mrs. Weasley and her howlers. But Ron and Neville nodded, though Neville was smiling.

"Gran sent me a reply back this morning. She was quite proud that I defended you," he said with a bit of a pompous grin. Harry bit back a smile as Ron was looking decidedly discontented.

Before he could ask him what had happened, Ginny put in, "Mum didn't even bother with a Howler," she said, sounding annoyed. Harry frowned again.

"No?"

"She Flooed here," Ron said miserably. Harry's mouth fell open.

"She did?"

Ron nodded but it was Ginny who said, "She didn't even care that he was trying to help you." She was scowling.

"Yeah, mate," Ron added, cringing at the memory. "She had a fit. I haven't seen her so mad since Fred and George gave your cousin that toffee before the Quidditch Cup." Harry cringed right along with his friend; he remembered that very well. Ron nodded at Harry's expression. "Lucky for you, she knows about Snape now. She said she would have brought you into Dumbledore's office as well if she didn't already know how angry Snape--your dad--would be."

Harry's eyes went to his father at Ron's words; he was nodding at something Remus was saying to him. Harry turned back to Ron, who by now was leaning forward. "So? What happened?" he asked, lowering his voice as though expecting something terrible. Harry flushed a bit, remembering all that had happened with his father last night.

"We talked about it," he said evasively. Ron raised his eyebrows in disbelief.

"Talked?" he echoed. He shook his head. "Mum went on and on for about a hour, lecturing that I should have just kept walking." His voice rose an octave as he imitated Mrs. Weasley's high pitched shrieking. "It was completely irresponsible to let them bother us...why didn't you just walk away, Ron...get a teacher Ron," he mimicked. He shook his head again. "Get a teacher..." he scoffed. Hermione made a little noise next to him.

"She's right, of course," she said, her face pinched in disapproval. "The three of you acted incredibly foolishly," she agreed, with a little shake of her head. Ron made a face, while Neville colored a bit. Hermione continued, her eyes boring into Harry's, "You could have been seriously hurt, Harry. You can't keep letting everything bother you so much." Harry didn't respond, but she went right on anyway, "One of these days, Harry, you're going to get yourself into a situation that you can't get out of so easily!"

"Thanks, Hermione," Harry finally said sarcastically, his irritation overflowing. "I really needed another lecture as my dad didn't cover all of that last night."

Hermione glared at him for a minute before saying haughtily, "Well, I hope your dad finally got through to you, because someone certainly needed to." Harry narrowed his eyes at his friend, but didn't answer since Ginny was glaring at Hermione as well. He really didn't want to start an argument.

Neville, looking extremely uncomfortable, broke the silence, "So, did you get detention as well?"

Harry nodded, figuring it was close enough to the truth. "Not with Filch, though," he added.

"Well, I should hope not, after the way he was shaking you," Hermione put in with a nervous little frown. Harry shuddered a bit. He only vaguely remembered Filch at all, but what he could recall, was indeed unpleasant.

"You have to have detention with your dad?" Neville asked, looking very sorry for Harry. Harry shook his head.

"It's not really detention, I guess...I'm not allowed to have anyone down to our quarters," he admitted, feeling mildly embarrassed. Ron and Neville shrugged though, as if it were an everyday occurrence for Harry to announce he'd been in trouble with his father; Hermione was nodding approvingly. Harry glowered at her.

"Well, it's not as if you don't deserve it, Harry," she pointed out and as Harry couldn't really argue with that, he said nothing.

And before Ginny could snap at Hermione, he changed the subject, speaking carefully as Neville was there, "Dumbledore told us you asked Flitwick to do some research for you." Hermione paled a little.

"I asked him to keep that private," she said indignantly.

"Well, then it would probably be best if you kept it to yourself," Harry advised, stressing the last word. Hermione pursed her lips, but she nodded. Then she turned back to her lunch and Harry, shaking his head, starting eating as well.

They ate mostly in silence, as Hermione was scowling down at her plate and Ron kept looking nervously between his own plate and Hermione. Neville tried valiantly to keep the conversation going, but he finally gave up and left when his Ravenclaw girlfriend came over.

And on cue, Hermione whispered, "I had to go to Flitwick, Harry, as I've run out of ideas."

Harry shifted uncomfortably, wishing he could have continued to avoid this subject as he'd been doing for the past week. "I already know everything," he told her, keeping his voice soft. She looked startled but then she leaned forward eagerly.

"And?" she demanded, but Harry shook his head.

"I can't tell you anything...I'm sorry," he added lamely.

"What do you mean, you can't tell us?" she asked, sounding befuddled by the very idea that Harry would keep something from his friends and indeed it was a strange concept.

"Look, I promised my dad that I wouldn't tell you. It's too dangerous," he tried to explain

Hermione frowned. "But, Harry, we can help you," she told him, nodding fervently.

"You can't though, Hermione. Not with this," he said firmly, but Hermione continued to stare at him.

"But, Harry," she began again.

"Hermione," Ron interrupted, "do you want Snape to ground him for another two weeks? Merlin's pants!" He shook his head at Harry in exasperation but Harry ignored him, his eyes straying up to the Head Table again, as he realized how parental his punishment actually was. His father was watching him. Harry smiled a little; his father inclined his head in acknowledgement.

Harry turned back to his friends. Hermione was just getting up from the table, looking vexed. Ron scrambled up after her and Harry gave his friend a sympathetic look as Ron threw up his hands in resignation and followed after his stomping girlfriend.

Harry and Ginny watched the pair go. And then Ginny asked, "How was it last night?"

Harry glanced swiftly up at his father. He was still watching them and Harry couldn't figure out if he was irritated or concerned. Harry's throat felt tight as he turned back to Ginny. "Did you have a row?" she asked, her voice tense. Harry nodded. Ginny frowned.

"What happened? Did he say something?" she asked and Harry smiled a little at the anger that crept into her voice.

"No," Harry assured her. She looked confused. Harry sighed. "I said some awful things though..." he admitted, his voice rough, "...really awful..." And though Ginny didn't press for details, he went on anyway, "He was telling me how I need to learn to control my temper better."

He took a deep breath as Ginny nodded. "And I told him he should have taken his own advice before he left my mum and me..." His face was burning as he stared at his half-full glass of pumpkin juice. Ginny was silent for what seemed like a long time and Harry wished he hadn't told her, but finally her small hand wrapped itself around his.

"Oh, Harry," she breathed and Harry looked up sharply. She sounded so sad. She obviously hadn't understood that Harry wasn't the one who needed sympathy, so her next words surprised him. "Did you apologize?"

"Yeah...he wasn't even mad...not really. He just said I had a right to feel that way, but Ginny," he said, waving his arms a little, "I didn't even mean it. It just sort of tumbled out...I really didn't mean it." He sounded ridiculously miserable. Ginny put her arm around him. "I can't stand that he thinks I haven't forgiven him, Gin..."

She leaned her head against his shoulder. "Did you explain it to him?"

"I tried, but he was so hurt...I don't think he really wanted to talk about it," he said quietly. Ginny brought her head back up so that he was gazing into her brown eyes.

"Harry, all families argue and all of us say things sometimes that we don't mean. It's just part of being a family," she told him gently. Harry nodded; it made sense he supposed, but as he'd never had a family, it was a difficult concept. Why would anyone want to be with people who had hurt them? Even family...

Ginny squeezed his hand again and then she leaned away from Harry. "Good afternoon, Professor," she greeted to a spot off to Harry's left. Harry shifted; his father came to a stop beside the table.

"Good afternoon, Ms. Weasley" he returned evenly and Harry wondered for the second time why his father couldn't call her Ginny. "Class is about to begin." Severus glanced pointedly around the Great Hall; it was mostly empty. Ginny nodded quickly as she gathered her bag together.

"See you later, Harry...Professor," she said quickly, before giving Harry a quick peck. Harry colored slightly as he watched her go.

"Are you ready, Harry?" Severus asked, breaking into his thoughts. He nodded as he stood up, avoiding his father's dark gaze. Severus didn't say anything more as they walked out of the Hall together.

Harry knew his father was walking at an uncharacteristically slow pace as he had no trouble keeping up with him. But even with that, and the relatively short distance to the Potions classroom, they arrived much too quickly for Harry's comfort. When they reached the door, Severus stopped and turned to face him. Harry tilted his head a bit so that he was looking at his father.

"Is your mind calm?" he asked, his voice soft. Harry frowned a little

"I'm a bit nervous," he admitted. Severus nodded.

"Bring your thoughts to something that will ease your mind," he directed, his voice soothing in its evenness. Harry closed his eyes, letting his thoughts drift to Ginny.

"Are you ready?" his father's deep voice rumbled against his grayed storm and Harry nodded as he opened his eyes. Severus patted his shoulder lightly before gesturing Harry to enter the classroom. Harry pushed open the door and just like they had two days ago, every head snapped around, even Malfoy's this time.

The nervous tingle in his gut turned to a full blown blaze. Harry thought of his father finally saying he loved him and his storm calmed again. Taking a discreet breath, he walked down the incredibly long aisle to his table and slid in silently. His father continued past, spinning in his customary grand manner as soon as he had reached his desk.

"If you can manage to discontinue your gawking," his father drawled, "perhaps we could begin class." Harry didn't look around, but apparently they couldn't manage because his father snapped, "Eyes front now." Harry flushed as that meant his classmates were probably staring at him. But Severus narrowed his eyes in the next second and ordered, "Turn to page 343." He began his lecture.

The lecture was much longer than usual, concluding only with an abrupt command to begin brewing the Re-Growth Elixir, an extremely complicated Potion as it used more than one Charm at various points during the brewing.

"Are you planning on staring off into space all day, Potter?" Harry turned to Malfoy, startled. He was about to apologize when the obnoxious Slytherin sneered, "You don't want daddy to give you a zero, now do you?" Harry's jaw tensed, but then his eyes narrowed in sudden suspicion. Malfoy had spoken just an octave higher than he usually did, his head turned slightly so Parvati and her Slytherin partner behind them would be certain to hear. Harry sighed at the muffled snicker.

Ignoring Malfoy's childishness, Harry began sorting the glittering Hikara crystals into two neat piles. He didn't glance up until he heard two quickly hissed Muffliato Spells. "What are you doing?" Harry whispered. Malfoy pursed his lips and stared straight at the board.

"What the hell were you thinking, Potter?" he demanded, his lips barely moving, as he began dicing the hearts of several frogs without even glancing down. Harry stared at him. "Hitting Pinth?" Malfoy stressed, moving his eyes to his Frog Hearts.

"Why do you care?" Harry asked, with more curiosity than he'd intended.

"Are you daft?" Malfoy sneered. "Do you think I actually want my father to go to Azkaban?" Harry kept his eyes carefully down, not stopping in his motions...green crystals, clear crystals... "So just keep yourself alive until you've done your job," Malfoy said harshly as he poured the hearts into the cauldron with muffled plops.

"I'll do my best," Harry agreed sarcastically. "And then when I'm all through with Voldemort, I'll just go ask Pinth for another round...let him bloody me a bit more, yeah?"

"I don't care who bloodies you after that...I'll do it myself if you'd prefer," Malfoy returned callously.

"So, where were you yesterday then if you're so eager to get your hands on me?" Harry hissed, keeping his head down.

"What are you on about, Potter?" Malfoy shot back.

"You're not supposed be off on your own and if Zabini was getting beat up by Ron and Neville..." He smirked as Malfoy made a soft scoffing noise. "...then where were you?"

"What are you, already in training for the Auror program?" the Slytherin asked. "I was with Pansy--use your imagination," he suggested and Harry felt heat creeping up his cheeks. He chanced a glance at Malfoy, who was just sliding his eyes away; he was smirking. "Potter...a virgin," he chortled softly and Harry, the heat spreading further, went back to his crystals.

He heard Malfoy ending his Muffliato Spell and Harry braced himself for more insults. But Malfoy only snapped at him to hurry up and put the crystals in. Harry glared once at the other boy before he began to drop in the crystals, alternating between green and clear.

They worked in near silence for the rest of the class, with Malfoy snapping out this and that, though to Harry's ear, the demands seemed a bit forced and when Harry wasn't supposed to be looking, Malfoy was usually staring a bit too pointedly at his ingredients and then he'd turn abruptly and snap something before going back to staring. Harry was beginning to think Draco Malfoy was a bigger mess than he was...

Harry felt himself slumping with relief as soon as his father pronounced their potion 'adequate', before dismissing the class. Once Malfoy had given him a final glare, he swaggered to join Zabini and Parkinson, and Harry almost smiled. He swung his bag over his shoulder.

Ron and Hermione came over to his desk. "Are you ready, Harry?" Hermione asked. Harry glanced up at his father; he wasn't really sure if he was allowed to go with them, as his dad had said he could only see his friends during meals and classes. And even though he really wanted to talk to them again, he supposed he could wait until dinner.

"You go ahead," he encouraged quietly, deciding he'd save his explanation for later. Hermione frowned at him, but Ron nodded immediately and with a little tug at Hermione's elbow, they left the Potions classroom. Harry leaned against his table and waited for his father to finish arranging the day's assignment vials.

After only a short minute, Severus looked up; his face relaxed as he found them alone. Harry smiled a little, glad his father still felt comfortable enough around him to let his guard down a bit. With that thought easing his mind, Harry went ahead and asked his question, though he was shifting nervously. "I wasn't sure if--well, if I was allowed to go with Ron and Hermione to study..." His father looked confused for a moment and Harry wondered if he'd forgotten about their talk last night, but then Severus' eyes narrowed in thought.

"I had not considered it," he admitted. "I will give the matter some thought," he promised, and Harry felt a strange mixture of relief and resentment at his father's apparent musings on his punishment, but he wasn't able to spare any thought to it, as his father was continuing, "However, we have an appointment with the Headmaster before dinner." Harry frowned, remembering that Dumbledore had said something about wanting to talk to his father last night.

"He wants to see me as well?" he asked. Black eyes glinted in quick amusement, surprising Harry.

"What Albus wants is irrelevant in this," Severus said with a little smirk. Harry had no idea what his father meant, and seeing his confusion, Severus elaborated, "He wants to discuss your mother's Charm and as this concerns you, I want you there." Something about the way his father said that, made Harry glow. Severus was watching him thoughtfully.

"You did very well with Draco," he offered quietly, making Harry grin in pleased embarrassment. His father's eyes warmed a bit before he asked, "Shall we go?"

Harry nodded and fell in step beside his father. They walked together to Dumbledore's office, receiving many whispered looks on the way and Harry had to wonder if his father was trying to make sure as many students as possible saw them together, as it seemed they were taking the longest route possible to the Headmaster's office.

"Buttered Toffeecorn," Severus gave the password to the Gargoyle and they spun slowly together to the door. The door opened before Severus could even knock and Dumbledore was smiling from the other side, showing no surprise at seeing Harry.

"Good afternoon, Severus...Harry, would you like a licorice twist?" Harry shook his head, murmuring a polite no thank you and then he sat, following his father's lead.

"Did you find it?" Severus asked, not even bothering to return the Headmaster's greeting. Dumbledore nodded, his smile even brighter. "And the locket?" Severus inquired, without taking a breath and Harry watched as Dumbledore shook his head, the blue eyes dulling a bit; his father frowned. Harry looked between the two, both of them looking dejected, but before he could ask what they were talking about, Dumbledore stood up and handed an open book to Severus.

"I think this is the best example we'll find," the Headmaster said quietly, though his voice had regained some of its eagerness. Severus was silent while his eyes scanned the page.

He glanced at Harry, before shaking his head and when he spoke, his voice was lost in self-reproach. "I should have realized it earlier," he said with a fair bit of disgust. Harry frowned.

"What's going on?" he finally asked. His father handed the book to Dumbledore before leaning back in his chair to study Harry.

"I thought that my ability to reach out to you on Halloween-" Harry did his best not to flinch; his father reached out and squeezed his shoulder. "-was due to extreme circumstances, but it is possible that we could enhance whatever connection we have, especially if your mother's Charm did bond us beyond a simple mental connection."

"What do you mean, 'enhance' it?" Harry asked, leaning forward a bit. His father pursed his lips, studying Harry intently.

"We might be able to establish a permanent mental connection," he finally answered, his tone reserved. Harry shook his head in confusion.

"Why?" What would be the point? His father smiled a little.

"It would be quite useful if you were able to contact me if you were in trouble, would it not?" he asked. "It might even have prevented your scuffle with Pinth," he added casually, making Harry's face warm with embarrassment even as he tried to understand what his father was trying to explain.

Avoiding Dumbledore's gaze, still embarrassed, Harry asked, "How would it work?" And unfortunately, it was the Headmaster who answered, so Harry had to turn to look up at him.

"You would feel your father's presence in your mind, as would he feel yours. If you ever needed him, after some practice, you would be able to direct your thoughts to him and he would be able to 'hear' you, through your connection."

Harry chewed the inside of his cheek as he thought about that. Wishing Dumbledore wasn't there, he asked quickly, "Does that mean I'd be able to see everything you're doing?" And you'd be seeing everything I do, he wanted to add, but he couldn't quite manage, not with the Headmaster smiling at him.

"No," Severus answered, pulling Harry's gaze from Dumbledore. "It will be as though I've left a piece of my shield in your mind; it will be the same for me," he explained and though Harry really didn't understand what that meant, he trusted his father.

"All right. Do you know how to do it?" he asked and his father glanced once at Dumbledore before nodding.

"You and I will attempt it. Professor Dumbledore can assist us if we fail." His father didn't sound particularly thrilled with the idea of Dumbledore helping, or perhaps he was only bothered by the idea of failure. Severus stood abruptly and Harry did as well. "I will enter your thoughts, as I've done before."

Harry nodded his agreement, looking up into the familiar black. Severus smiled a little and reached a hand out, settling it gently on Harry's cheek. And then Harry felt the soft heat of his father's flames against his conscious, reaching out toward his storm.

You are nervous, the flames surmised and they warmed in response to the chills coursing through the storm. You are still thinking about last night? the flames wanted to know, flickering slightly with confusion

The storm chilled further with regret. The flames gathered close.

Would you like to see my most contented memory? they asked suddenly, and the storm rippled with uncertain acceptance.

Look, the flames commanded. Through the wall of fire, vague shapes began to form--Harry leaning over his father's chest, while Severus rested a hand on Harry's head; he was smiling. The storm rumbled in surprise.

But that's me, it thundered its objection. The flames danced with gentle laughter.

It is, they agreed. The flames warmed again. Why did you bring me home? they asked.

The storm swirled with uncertainty. I couldn't let you go.

Why? the brightening flames repeated, glowing red as they waited.

The storm lightened, though the chill remained. I love you, they answered. The flames radiated heat throughout the storm.

And do you think you could have loved me so much if you had not forgiven me--for everything? The flames burned to blue.

The storm stilled as it slowly lightened to gray, the chill completely dispelling with the understanding emanating through the blue-white flames.

And then the storm watched as a tendril of fire broke off from its fellows. I will stay here with you, it promised, and the storm softened with the reassurance.

The storm pushed outward, a wisp of cloud snaking out toward the flames. You need me as well, it breezed quietly and the flames brightened, accepting the gift, even as they began to withdraw from Harry's mind.

But the small, warm glow remained as Harry came back to Dumbledore's office, still looking into his father's dark eyes. And not paying any attention to Dumbledore, knowing that Severus would return the gesture even with him there, Harry wrapped his arms around his father. Without any hesitation, Severus responded and Harry felt the dormant glow intensify in the back of his mind as he felt his father's acceptance.

"Thanks," he said softly, squeezing his father briefly before letting him go again, smiling as he watched the black eyes glinting.

He still felt the niggling of remorse for the words he'd said last night and even the pain of so many years, was still there. But now that Harry knew his father had understood--understood that he hadn't meant the awful words and more importantly, that his father understood that he was forgiven...most of all, Harry just felt happy.