A Life More Ordinary

Ollivander's--January 1987

"Did you really follow him all the way into the mountains?" Harry asked as he stared at the dragon heartstring.

"I certainly did," Ollivander told him, his eyes sparkling over the memory. "Dragons are very particular about their final resting places."

"But he knew you were following him, yeah?"

Sirius smiled as he watched Harry's face, upturned to the wand maker and full of excitement.

"Yes," Ollivander said. "A good wand maker only takes what he is freely given. A wand with a stolen core is not as cooperative as those gifted to the maker."

"But how do you ask the dragon to give the heartstring to you?"

"Ah," Ollivander said with a smile "Every magical creature communicates in a unique way. The trick is to understand how." He ran his fingers along the bottom edge of the glass case where the heartstring was suspended. "This particular dragon was a Romanian Red; very temperamental. One must announce himself to the Red, unlike Hungarian Horntails; they prefer to be outsmarted. I track them for days sometimes to find their nests."

"But aren't you afraid they'll eat you?" Harry asked, his eyes wide.

Ollivander chuckled. "Haven't been eaten yet, have I?"

"Don't any friendly magical creatures give you cores?" Harry asked, his brow crumpling with concern.

"Certainly," Ollivander said, sweeping open the large book where he kept photographs and clippings of his journeys.

"Unicorns are very gentle ... and unfailingly generous. They often give me several hairs at one time. And thestrals are kind creatures," he said as he flipped the page. "Although, I don't suppose you can see that one," he mused. "I don't usually use thestral hair in my cores, but this girl was very unusual. Thestrals stay in their herds and very seldom wander on their own. This one was all by herself; not a family member in sight and she was very insistent that I take one hair--just one, mind you. That's the one I put in your godfather's wand."

Harry peered at the photograph. "Where is it? Is it standing near that black horse? The one with the wings?"

Ollivander looked startled. He glanced behind them and Harry twisted his neck to follow the old wizard's gaze.

Sirius stared at him. "You can see that?" he asked quietly.

Looking nervous at Sirius' hushed voice, Harry nodded wordlessly. Sirius put a hand on his back and brought him close, patting him several times. Harry squinted up at him in confusion and Sirius cleared his throat.

"Do you have a picture of a phoenix perhaps?" he asked, glancing at Ollivander. Ollivander was slow to take his eyes from Harry, but finally he nodded and thumbed through the book.

"Here we are," he said, his voice changing to one tinged with the reverence he always spoke with when discussing his wands. "This is the phoenix who gave me the feather for your core. He is Albus Dumbledore's familiar."

Harry gazed at the bird with the pretty red and gold plumage. "The Headmaster has a phoenix?"

"Oh indeed," Ollivander murmured. "And quite a magnificent bird he is, though he has refused my every plea for another of his powerful feathers. In fact, he began refusing after he gave me the first. It wasn't until a little over five years ago that he offered me another ... in the first part of November as a matter of fact ... 1981."

Sirius and Ollivander exchanged glances over Harry's head and it was clear what the wand maker was thinking. And Sirius didn't like the implication at all.

Ollivander, still looking thoughtful, turned the page and explained to Harry why he never used Hippogriff feathers in a wand, while Sirius tried to decide how best to broach the subject with the headmaster again. This time, with Remus' help.

--

After Ollivander bid them a good afternoon, and told Harry to return anytime, Sirius and Harry walked down Diagon Alley's cobbled streets hand in hand--Sirius lost in his thoughts.

"Was I bad, Sirius?" Harry's small voice finally broke Sirius out of his reverie. He looked down at his godson, confused.

"What do you mean?"

"Ollivander said I wasn't supposed to see the black horse," Harry said, his green eyes shiny. "I didn't mean to see it."

Sirius stopped walking, paying no attention to the low grumbles of complaint from the people around him as he crouched down in front of his godson. "Oh, Harry, no, no," he said quickly, his voice low and comforting, "of course you weren't bad. Ollivander just didn't think you would be able to see the thestral ... most people can't."

"Why not?"

"Thestrals are special," Sirius told him carefully."And they usually like to keep to themselves."

Harry tilted his head as he studied his godfather. "Can you see them?"

"Yes," Sirius answered quietly, wishing as he did that neither of them could see the black, winged beasts. He shut his mind to the faces of the murdered Muggles he'd watched Peter kill; the ones that often haunted his dreams. He banished Lily and James from his thoughts as well as he cupped Harry chin in his hand.

"You're a very special kid, Harry," he said. "Do you know that?"

Harry's face transformed as he smiled. And very seriously he said, "You're special too."

Sirius chuckled. "Why thank you, Harry." Harry wriggled from Sirius' grasp and put his arms around Sirius' neck, squeezing hard.

Smiling through the sudden clog in his throat, Sirius pressed a kiss to the little bit of Harry's temple that he could reach. "Shall we go to Flourish and Blotts and see if we can find Remus?"

--

They found Remus almost immediately, but Sirius could barely see him behind the queue of young witches and wizards waiting to meet the very handsome author of the new novel, Canis Aluri. Remus caught his eye; he smiled before his attention was pulled away by an eager fan. Sirius smiled to himself, almost as happy as Remus that a third book had finally been published. Almost as happy as he'd been when he'd read the long-anticipated novel's inscription: To Sirius and Harry, for giving me a reason to live again.

"Would you like to go play with the train set?" Sirius asked Harry, who looked like he was searching for Remus through the throng of people, and having as little success as Sirius had.

"Can we say hi to Remus?"

Reluctant though he was not to allow it, Sirius shook his head. Remus' editor had suggested--quite innocently--that being married to the man who had adopted the Boy-Who-Lived could be quite the boon to Remus' sales; not to mention his career. Sirius' reply to that had been less than polite.

"We'll play with the train set, all right?" he said, smiling in an effort to bolster his godson's spirits. Harry's lips turned down but he followed along with Sirius. "We'll see him in just a few minutes," Sirius promised, ruffling his hair. Harry nodded, but his eyes were still clouded from their earlier conversation. Sirius kept a comforting palm on the top of his head as they walked back to the children's corner where the shopkeeper kept a train set--exactly like the one Harry had, with train cars to match the Hogwarts' Express perfectly.

"Look, Harry," Sirius said, cheering up himself as they entered the cozy, cushioned corner, "another little boy..." Sirius closed his mouth slowly as the boy in question turned around. He should have recognized the nearly-silver hair at once of course; and the jibbering house-elf at the boy's side.

Harry had stopped walking as soon as Draco turned around, his back pressing up against Sirius. Draco was smiling--the expression as shy as Sirius imagined Harry's was. They hadn't seen one another in six months; not since last July when they'd met once again on the same stretch of beach, though they still exchanged letters quite frequently.

"Good morning, Draco," Sirius said; he'd already resigned himself to Harry's fondness for Malfoy's son, which was made easier to accept by the likelihood that the two boys would be eventually be drawn apart by house rivalries.

"Good morning, Mr. Black," Draco said, so automatic was the response that Sirius wondered just how often the boy had been drilled in social minutiae. And even though it was Lucius' son offering him the polite use of his surname, he didn't care for it; the formality didn't fit his childish voice.

"Sirius," he corrected and Draco's silver eyes narrowed in confusion. Dobby began wringing his hands nervously. Sirius ignored both responses and squeezed Harry's shoulder. "Harry, you remember Draco, don't you?"

Harry nodded.

"Do you want to play with him?"

Another nod and Sirius stepped back. Harry took his time approaching the low tracks, which wound around the shelves and chairs, suspended so that Draco could easily reach them from where he was kneeling. Harry stood across from the other boy, both of them staring.

Until finally, Harry said, "Did you really see a dragon?"

Draco nodded, sitting up a little straighter as he grinned. "Just like I told you in my letter," he said. "We went to Romania ... Mother had to visit her old Auntie. She's very old and Mother wanted to see her before she couldn't any longer. The dragons were the best part; Great Auntie smelled like stale tea."

Harry nodded, just as if he knew just what Draco was talking about. "Did the dragons breathe fire?" he asked, his green eyes shining with excitement.

"Loads," Draco told him. "And one of them roared so loudly that Mother had to leave; she almost fainted. Dobby and I stayed a real long time after that."

Draco chattered on and on, answering all the questions he'd already answered in his letters during the last three months. But Harry didn't stop asking him questions and Sirius eventually sat in one of the overstuffed chairs and kept watch. Dobby watched as well, though he seemed to be keeping a careful eye on Sirius just as much as his young master. Lucius and Narcissa had probably filled Draco's head with tales of the filthy traitor who had disgraced his family, Sirius thought with a sour twist of his lip.

"Well, well, what do we have here?"

Sirius' spine straightened as the smooth voice interrupted the peace. He turned his head and found Lucius Malfoy in dark green robes too resplendent for this rumpled bookshop. His smile was as cold as ever.

"Sirius," he greeted, those velvet tones smothering all of the Sirius' good intentions where Draco was concerned. "I did not expect to find you here ... and what is this? You must be Harry Potter," he said quietly, turning so that he was gazing down at Harry. Sirius stood up so quickly, he nearly tripped over his own feet.

Lucius chuckled. "Clumsy fellow, your godfather," he said to Harry. Harry, who had not been so carefully schooled in social pleasantries, frowned up at Lucius.

"No, he isn't," he said, his lower jaw jutting out as Sirius moved carefully this time, his fingers close to his wand. Lucius glanced at Sirius, smiling once more.

"I would have expected a member of the noble House of Black to have better manners," he drawled; his silver eyes were full of amusement. "Though I suppose his blood is no purer than his mother's."

Sirius could feel his pulse pounding through his veins, roaring into his temples as his jaw flexed. Before he could calm himself enough to reply without violence, Lucius turned to Dobby, his thin smile flipping immediately into a scowl.

"I gave you specific instructions that my son was to read, not play on the floor like a Muggle." Giving no chance for the elf to reply, Lucius snapped, "Go find Mistress Malfoy and then return home and give yourself a severe punishment for your incompetence."

Dobby's head was nearly touching the floor by the time he popped out of existence.

Harry was staring at Lucius, his lower lip trembling. Sirius's fingers weaved through Harry's dark hair and when Harry stood, he put an arm around his godson's shoulders and squeezed.

"Draco," Lucius said imperiously, "stand up. Proper wizards do not demean themselves in such an undignfied manner." He snapped his fingers impatiently even though Draco was already obeying. "Read a book with Harry while I speak with his godfather. And do be quiet."

Draco sat obediently on one of the chairs, pulling a book from a shelf without even looking at the cover.

Harry looked up at Sirius then, his eyes now longer filled with fear, but crinkled in a way that was very familiar to Sirius; the look that told him that Harry was very worried, but not for himself. Though he wanted nothing more than to get away from this horrible man and his son, Sirius smiled and gave his godson's shoulder a few soft pats. Harry's face relaxed. And instead of choosing the empty chair beside Draco, he hoisted himself up right next to the blond boy on the oversized chair, until their knees met and half of the large book fell onto Harry's lap. Draco didn't speak, but even Sirius could see some of the tension leave his strained and nervous frame.

"Look Draco," Harry said in a quiet voice that he rarely used, "that girl's broom dumped her right off." Draco smiled as he leaned in; his blond locks in sharp contrast to Harry's dark hair as they bent their heads over the book.

"Have you seen any of our old school chums, Sirius?" Lucius asked as he sat in one of the other chairs, not sparing another glance for the boys. Sirius sat on the edge of his seat and didn't answer. Lucius smiled and crossed his legs, his free hand settling primly on his knee. "Frank Longbottom's son, perhaps? Another poor child living without its mother."

"His name is Neville," Sirius said quietly as he gripped the armrests of his chair to keep them from curling into fists. He didn't mention that Neville and Harry had played together on more than one occasion as babies. Or that he would have liked Harry to play with him again, had Neville's grandmother not made the location of their home a secret. He also didn't mention that when Dumbledore had shared that bit of information, Sirius and Remus had put Grimmauld Place under the Fidelius Charm as well, which of course had been the reason Albus had told them in the first place.

"And how does Augusta find herself these days, do you know?"

"As well as can be expected for one who lost her son and daughter-in law, I'm sure" Sirius said, his tone forcibly cool. Lucius smiled.

"Such a tragic situation," he said with a soft tsk. "Even more so to you, perhaps? Since it was your mother's niece who committed the despicable act."

Sirius glanced at his godson and said nothing. Lucius was still smiling.

"You certainly haven't seen the fourth of your little schoolyard quartet," he went on, his fingers curling around the silver snake's head at the top of his cane while Sirius planted an image of both Harry and Remus in his mind and refused to rise to the bait. "Perhaps then, you've had an opportunity to see Severus Snape. You remember him, don't you, Sirius? Regulus was quite fond of him."

Sirius counted silently to twenty in Latin and back again.

"Severus owns a small shop in Knockturn Alley. It was rumored that Albus Dumbledore attempted to recruit him for a teaching position but Severus prefers his solitude, as you know," Lucius said, his pale eyebrows mocking. "My Draco is quite fond of Severus and his apothecary."

"You must be very proud," Sirius drawled, breaking free of his anger as they moved to safer topics. Lucius' silver eyes hardened but the smile didn't leave his face.

"Draco is a fine son," he said. Out of the corner of his eye, Sirius saw Draco's head jerk up, but Lucius didn't notice. "How do you find fatherhood?" he queried, one of those snobbish eyebrows raised. "Without Draco's breeding, you must find Harry rather tiresome."

"I've never been happier than I have been since Harry came to live with me," Sirius said evenly. Harry had stilled at Lucius' words and Sirius smiled warmly at his godson. "We enjoy each other quite well just the way we are, don't we Harry?" he asked, winking at his worried child. Harry smiled a little as he nodded. "Remus is probably just about ready," Sirius said, keeping his features as relaxed as he could. "Are you finished with your book?" he asked, standing and crooking his fingers toward himself.

Harry nodded and slid off the chair; Draco clutched the book to his chest. Harry glanced at him before sidling up to Sirius' side and tilting his face up once more. Sirius bent down and Harry whispered, "Can I play with Draco again?"

Startled, Sirius' gaze flew to Draco; the little boy was watching them.

"Maybe we can go to the beach again?" Harry whispered, rather loudly that time.

"An excellent notion," Lucius said, standing now as well and snapping his fingers in Draco's general direction. "I do believe it will be in everyone's interest for the two boys to become better acquainted, don't you, Sirius?"

Harry had craned his neck and he was grinning at Draco, the expression so innocent, that Sirius couldn't deny his godson's request.

--

"I don't like it," Remus said that night after Harry had been tucked into bed.

"Neither do I Remus," Sirius sighed as balanced his elbows on his knees, his chin resting on his clasped fingers. "But I don't know how to explain to Harry that he can't be friends with Draco. I can't exactly bring out the family tree and tell him that my mother would have hated him."

Remus shook his head and finally sat down, though he didn't relax. "You're going to have to explain something to him, before Draco starts putting ideas into his head. Ideas which are coming straight from Lucius and Narcissa."

Sirius blew a breath out. "He already asked me why he doesn't have any 'breeding'." He shrugged as Remus raised both eyebrows. "Something Lucius remarked on," he murmured.

"And it's only going to be a matter of time before one of them brings up the Weasleys again," Remus said as he frowned. "We already know that Lucius has made it plain to Draco how he feels about Arthur. Draco is bound to become poisoned by him, if he's not already."

Sirius nodded as he stared into the low fire. "I know." He smiled a little and shifted his eyes sideways as Remus' fingers combed through the hair at his nape, but Remus didn't ask anything of him, his eyes warm and without judgment. "I don't want to be my parents," Sirius finally said as he watched the reflected flames dancing in Remus' brown eyes.

"Your parents' intolerance of Muggleborns and anything 'impure' was completely irrational," Remus said. "Our concerns aren't the same at all. Lucius was a Death Eater."

"My father was a Death Eater," Sirius said softly. "And so was my brother."

Remus didn't answer as he slid closer so that he could wind an arm around Sirius' shoulders. Neither of them spoke after that; soaking in the comfort of words that didn't need to be said.

--

"Mummy!"

Sirius shot up, every clinging vestige of sleep drained from him in an instant. He threw the covers aside, knocking into Remus' legs as he scrambled off the bed. He was across the corridor in three steps, moving without thought toward his godson's bed, where Harry was sitting, his eyes wide; screaming for Lily.

"Harry," Sirius breathed as he pulled his stricken child into his arms, patting all over his back as he tried to shush the broken litany and still the tremors. "It's all right," he whispered. "You're all right. I'm here. It was a just a dream. Just a dream, Harry."

The frantic cries had abruptly stopped as soon as Sirius' arms came around him, but Harry was still sobbing, occasionally hiccupping, 'Mummy,' as he cried.

"Shh," Sirius whispered. "I've got you," he promised, hating himself in that moment for not being Lily. "It's all right. Shhh."

He could feel Remus beside them now, crouching down beside the bed, his own hand joining in the soothing motions against Harry's back. And when only soft gasps and hiccups remained, Sirius rested his cheek against Harry's tangled hair. "Everything's all right," he said again, desperate to make Harry believe it. "It was a just a dream..."

"It was green," Harry whispered into his chest. It had been a few months since Harry had last had that dream and Sirius held him closer. "Mummy," Harry whispered again and this time, both Sirius and Remus stilled.

Their eyes met as the awful realization settled between them. Just as Dumbledore said he would, Harry was beginning to understand; his mind beginning to unravel the terrible things his toddler's eyes had seen that night.

"I'm sorry, Harry," Sirius said softly, pulling Harry as close to him as he could. "Your mummy isn't here. But you're all right. Remus and I are here. We're here and you're safe."

He said the words over and over as he rocked his godson, as much for himself as for Harry.