A Life More Ordinary

The Burrow--December 1985

"Don't wanna go home," Harry mumbled sleepily as Sirius shifted him against his shoulder. "... not tired..."

"We'll read a few of your new books before we go to bed," Sirius assured him with a smile. Harry mumbled something else that sounded like an agreement.

"Say goodnight, Ronnie," Molly urged her own sleepy child as she ushered him toward the stairs.

"G'night, Harry," Ron mumbled, rubbing at his eyes. "Happy Christmas..."

"Happy Christmas," Harry echoed through a yawn.

"Thank you for a wonderful evening," Sirius said quietly to Molly, who had succeeded in corralling Ron up the steps.

"Oh, we were so glad to have you and Harry here, Sirius," Molly said, giving his hand a little squeeze. "You're always welcome."

"Thank you, Molly," he said.

Molly smiled before disappearing up the stairs.

"Come on, kiddo," Sirius murmured as they stepped into the Floo; they emerged in their own kitchen a moment later, and Harry sighed sleepily. It took very little effort to slip his godson's shoes off once Sirius had settled him in bed. He tucked the blanket in as Harry curled on his side with a smile--dreaming already, it seemed.

As Sirius bent to press a kiss to his godson's brow, his fingers brushed the black fringe away from his eyes, and then Sirius spent a few silent minutes simply enjoying his quiet child.

Feeling rather lonely--more so than he usually did, it was a long time before Sirius finally left Harry to his rest, stopping in his own room to remove his tie before padding down the stairs and back into the parlor.

The photos on the mantel seemed to be mocking him tonight.

The grief that he'd been flirting with all day was beginning to wear a yawning hollow in his stomach--they should be here, instead of him.

He picked up the picture from the mantel. James and Lily smiled out at him, little Harry laughing in James' arms as he bounced the little boy lightly.

Sirius had spent the last four years missing Lily and James of course, but now it felt worse somehow. Now that he truly understood what they would be missing. He had loved Harry fiercely when he was a baby, but those feelings were nothing compared to what he felt now.

With a sigh, Sirius set the picture back in place; his eyes strayed to the other photo--he and Remus were in that one along with the Potters; it had been taken five years ago to the day.

Sirius --cradling Harry in one arm, the other around Remus' waist, as Lily laughed at James' toast... Remus was smiling, his brown eyes crinkling like they always had when he was especially happy.

Sirius swallowed hard; he set the picture down and turned away from the mantel.

Wishing he hadn't banished his mother's entire stock of liquor, he went into the kitchen and put a kettle on. Maybe he could find a little peppermint for the tea...

The Floo flared as he was rifling through the cupboard. Grateful for the distraction, whoever it was, Sirius turned.

His smile froze halfway to his lips. He took half a step forward and then stopped, dazed. "Remus..."

Remus, his sandy hair disheveled and his face deathly pale, stared back at him. "It's true then," he whispered hoarsely.

"Remus?" Sirius' voice cracked. He cleared his throat and shook his head slowly, trying to make his brain believe what he was seeing.

Remus raised his hand; a newspaper was clenched in his fist. "I..." His voice shook as he continued, "... saw this in a pile of old newspapers... I didn't believe it..." He gripped the edge of one of the chairs with his free hand. "Harry...?"

Sirius could only nod. "You didn't-" he eventually began but then had to press his lips together as the lump in his throat threatened to engulf him. There were accusations on the tip of his tongue, and desperate pleas for Remus to forgive him for each mistake he'd made four years ago.

Remus' lips trembled as he took a step forward. "I knew you couldn't have done it... I tried to tell them..."

Tears obscured Sirius' vision as Remus' words rammed themselves into his chest. "Then why didn't you come?" The question scraped his throat and rasped through his lips. He had waited every day in that cell--wanting Remus more desperately than he'd ever wanted anything.

"They wouldn't let me..."

Remus' eyes were shining with his own tears now, and Sirius felt his feet moving forward, wanting to comfort even through the hurt making it hard to breathe.

"I've sent you letters..." he said, "... dozens since they freed me."

"I've been living in France... hiding amongst Muggles... inaccessible even to owls..."

Sirius was close enough to feel the warmth from Remus' lips; they were trembling. His breath hitched as Sirius caressed the faded scar traversing his cheekbone, the movement familiar to both of them. "I've missed you," Sirius breathed.

"I would have come..."

Sirius couldn't look away; Remus' brown eyes had lost none of their warmth. "I'm so sorry," Sirius whispered, finally saying the words that he could never say to Harry as his fingers stilled on the other man's cheek. "I shouldn't have gone after Peter-"

"You didn't know what would happen," Remus said softly. "It's over now."

"I-" Sirius shook his head unsteadily as Remus gazed at him. "I understand if... I mean, I always knew you might find someone..." He swallowed. "You deserved that much."

Remus leaned in and brushed his lips against Sirius', and Sirius forgot how to breathe. "There's only ever been you."

Relief flooded Sirius, and he didn't care that he had no right to feel that way. With a noise halfway between a laugh and a sob, he gathered Remus to him and kissed him until both of them were breathless.

"You have no idea how much I've missed you," he said as his lips sought every available patch of skin on Remus' face and neck.

"I think I have some idea," Remus murmured against his ear; Sirius grinned. His body responded predictably to that statement, but there would be time enough later. Forever, as far as Sirius was concerned. He tightened his arms and pressed his lips to Remus' cheek.

"Do you want to see him?" he asked quietly. Remus pulled his head back, his eyes shining. "He's asleep upstairs."

"We won't wake him?"

"Sleeps like a rock, that kid," Sirius assured him. He nuzzled Remus' cheek for a second longer and then dropped his arms and took the other man's hand. "Come on. He looks even more like James now... he's got a temper to match his mother's though..."

Remus smiled. "He did back then as well."

They walked up the stairs together, Sirius smiling at Remus' look of surprise as he took in the newly decorated surroundings. "I didn't think it could look so..."

"Normal?" Sirius asked with a low chuckle. "Harry helped with the décor... picked most of the paintings out himself."

They paused at the top of the stairs, and Sirius put a finger to his lips, but Remus was already silent. With quiet footsteps, they went together into Harry's room. A soft glow illuminated the walls; Harry loathed darkness almost as much as he loathed a closed door.

They stopped just in front of Harry's bed; he was curled into his customary ball, his knees nearly touching his chest. Automatically, Sirius tugged the covers up around his godson's shoulder. "Beautiful, isn't he?"

Remus had reached a hand out toward the sleeping child, but pulled it back before he made contact; he shook his head slowly. "I despised Albus for what he did..."

Sirius nodded, understanding exactly.

"He's all right?" Remus asked gruffly.

"He is now."

Remus swallowed, his eyes still fixed on Harry's peaceful face. Sirius watched Remus for a moment and then took his hand; their fingers twined in a familiar tangle. Remus looked up and the worried frown melted into a smile.

Sirius gave his hand a gentle tug.

He didn't stop once they reached the parlor, continuing instead to the library, but Remus gave no protest. Sirius closed the door behind them, leaving Remus standing in the middle of the room so that he could weave a charm around the door that would allow him to hear Harry if he woke. He sent a spell to the fireplace next, lighting the room with sudden, cozy heat. When he turned around, Remus was staring at him, his breathing shallow; his face full of pain.

Sirius was in front of him in two swift steps and without a word, he wrapped his arms around the other man. His heart thudded as he absorbed the tremors coursing through Remus' body. "It's all right," Sirius whispered.

"I didn't think I'd ever see you again..."

"I know..."

Remus' arms tightened around him and Sirius didn't think he'd ever be able to let go. He'd dreamed of this moment; dreamed of what it would feel like to hold this man again. To feel Remus' hands pressed against his back; those fingers knotted in his hair.

Sirius pulled back only enough to take Remus' face in his hands. Their eyes locked, and then, unable to keep still, Sirius pulled Remus forward and kissed him. His tongue surged forward, finding the warmth it craved. The taste that was so familiar; so needed.

Remus kissed him back with a rare ferocity. He pressed against Sirius until their bodies were molded together, and Sirius felt like he was exploding into a million tiny pieces.

His hands found the clasp of Remus' cloak, unfastening it with clumsy fingers and pushing the fabric away, fumbling with shirt buttons next. Remus' hands were more skilled as they dealt with Molly's Christmas jumper; Sirius closed his eyes as Remus' palms slid over his chest.

Sirius drew in an unsteady breath as his own hands retraced a path they had traversed so many times. A soft moan escaped his lips when Remus' hands trailed downward, the kiss changing as they became more desperate to feel only skin. And then both of them were laughing as they grappled with trousers and shoes until no fabric remained between them. Sirius had no idea which one of them moved first but he grinned as they tumbled together to the rug.

--

"Sirius!"

Sirius' head came up at the frantic call from upstairs; he scrambled off the sofa, straightening his jumper as he stood; his eyes felt gritty from lack of sleep--but it had been worth it.

He cleared his throat and called out, "I'm coming, Harry!" To Remus he said in a much quieter voice, "We'll be right back."

Sirius jogged up the stairs, nearly crashing into Harry on the landing. He steadied his godson under the armpits and lifted him up easily. Harry immediately cinched him around the neck.

"I couldn't find you!"

"You couldn't?" Sirius echoed with mock horror. "I'm right here!"

Harry giggled, but he peeked curiously behind his godfather. "Why were you downstairs?"

"Because," Sirius said with a kiss for Harry's cheek, "there's someone here that I want you to meet."

"Yeah? Who is it?"

"His name is Remus Lupin. You've seen pictures of him. He was a very good friend of your mum and dad's."

"And yours, right?"

Sirius smiled. "A very good friend, indeed. Would you like to meet him?"

A line of worry appeared between Harry's eyes. "Is he nice?"

"Oh, yes," Sirius assured his godson, bouncing him lightly and earning a smile.

"All right," Harry said uncertainly.

"Let's get some slippers on those feet first," Sirius said, keeping his voice overly cheerful. "Accio Harry's slippers," he called, adjusting Harry awkwardly in his arms since his godson seemed reluctant to lose his perch. "There," Sirius said finally. With an encouraging smile, he carried Harry down the stairs.

Remus was standing in front of the sofa, waiting for them; he drew in a breath as soon as they took the last step.

Carding his fingers lightly through Harry's hair, Sirius stopped in front of Remus. "This is Remus."

"Hello, Harry," Remus said in his quiet voice. Harry held himself very close to Sirius, though he didn't break eye contact.

"Can you say hello?" Sirius prodded.

"Hallo," Harry whispered; his fingers curled in Sirius' jumper as he gazed at the newcomer solemnly.

"Remus came all the way from France to visit with us," Sirius said, making France sound like a thrilling place.

"Mrs. Weasley showed us where that is," Harry said, still gazing at Remus.

"The Weasleys have an enchanted globe," Sirius explained, and Remus nodded.

"Do you know where any other countries are?" he asked.

"Scotland," Harry said, his face lighting up a bit at the opportunity to share his knowledge. "That's where Hogwarts is... right, Sirius?" he asked with an uncertain frown.

"It certainly is. It's lovely there," Remus answered after an encouraging nod from Sirius. "Would you like me to draw you a picture of Hogwarts? Sirius told me you like to draw."

Harry peeked up at Sirius; Sirius smiled and Harry nodded. "Yes, please, sir."

"You may call me Remus if you'd like," Remus said, his face and voice filled with enough open warmth that Harry finally gave him a real smile. Looking rather pleased with himself, Remus pulled a writing tablet from his robes. Sirius smiled, a bit relieved to see Remus take the familiar staple out of his pocket. A self-inking quill came out next. Sirius sat next to Remus, Harry in his lap.

It didn't take long, however, for Harry to lean forward so that he could see Remus' bold strokes against the white parchment. By the time Remus had finished his sketch of the towering castle, complete with the giant squid, Harry was kneeling beside the short table, his hair spilling over his forehead as he watched.

With several taps and a few whispered words, the squid began dancing along the water's surface. Harry laughed.

"Is there really a squid?" he asked with wide eyes, forgetting for the moment to be nervous.

"Yes, and it's quite a bit larger than this room."

"Wow," Harry breathed.

"Would you like to draw something?" Remus asked, holding out the quill. Harry immediately became timid again, pressing himself back against Sirius' knee.

Sirius reached out to run a reassuring hand through his godson's hair. "You could draw some fish to play with the squid," he suggested. "Maybe Remus will make them dance as well, if you ask him."

Harry glanced up again at Remus.

"I'd be pleased to," Remus assured him with a smile. Slowly, Harry reached out and took the proffered quill. He worked quietly for several minutes, leaning over the table with his the tip of his tongue poking out between his lips as he concentrated.

"You draw beautifully," Remus said, bending over in an imitation of Harry that made Sirius smile; Harry beamed as he added eyes to the largest of the three fish he'd drawn.

"This one likes the squid," he explained. "The others are frightened of him; they're too small."

"He's a very brave little fish," Remus said with a little chuckle. "I'm a bit frightened of the giant squid."

"I'm not," Harry said, puffing out his chest. "I'm brave too."

"You are," Remus said solemnly and was gifted with another smile. "Would you like me to make the fish swim?" A quick nod from Harry and the fish were swimming alongside the squid. Harry watched them happily, and Sirius gave Remus a grin.

A knock on the door sounded and Remus and Sirius turned; Harry paid no attention to the intrusion. "I'll see who it is," Sirius said as he stood. He was unable to stop the frown as he pulled the door open.

"Good morning, Sirius," Albus said with a smile. "How are you on this fine Christmas Sunday?"

Sirius pulled back on his scowl and gave the headmaster a tight smile. "Good morning, Albus."

"I've brought a gift for young Harry," Albus said. He waited expectedly until Sirius stepped back. Albus fairly beamed when he saw Remus, who was now standing. "Well, Remus! This is a surprise."

"Is it?" Sirius asked, barely managing not to spit the words at the white-haired wizard.

Albus spared him a glance before focusing his attention on Harry. "Happy Christmas, Harry."

"Hi, Professor," Harry said with a small smile; Sirius came to stand beside his godson, and Harry leaned against his leg; it had been almost two months since he'd last seen the headmaster.

Albus crouched down, the cheerful smile still on his face. "I do believe Father Christmas made a bit of a mistake last night and left one of your gifts in my office."

Harry's mouth opened; his green eyes wide as saucers. "He did?"

Albus dipped into his pockets and brought forth a red and gold striped parcel. "For Harry Potter," he read with exaggerated seriousness. "Do you think that's for you?" he asked, his eyes dancing. Harry nodded excitedly. He held the gift to his chest, looking up at Sirius. Ignoring his irritation at Albus, Sirius knelt down and smiled at his godson. "Go ahead and open it," he encouraged with a nod. He leaned forward to help when Harry couldn't quite manage.

Harry grinned as a herd of dragon figurines tumbled out of the parcel. They roared, their tails swishing, and Harry laughed in delight. "Look Sirius!"

"Ferocious little chaps, aren't they?" Sirius said with a smile to match Harry's. Harry prodded an orange one; it scowled at him.

"It's orange!" Harry cried. "Just like the one in my book!"

"And it's just as cross," Sirius said with the chuckle. The story in question was titled The Grumpiest Dragon, and indeed, the little orange figure looked remarkably like the title character. Sirius put a hand on Harry's head, bringing his godson's eyes from the dragons. "Can you say thank you to Professor Dumbledore?"

Harry smiled shyly up at Albus. "Thank you."

"You're quite welcome, my dear boy," Albus said with a fond smile. He patted Harry on the head before turning his attention back to Sirius. "I would enjoy a spot of tea, if you have any, Sirius."

Sirius studied the headmaster's bright smile for a moment before nodding. "Of course, Albus."

Harry made certain that Sirius was within eyeshot before going back to his dragons. When Sirius returned a few minutes later, he was belly down on the carpet, directing his new toys in a fierce battle.

"Would you like sugar?" Sirius asked, keeping his voice neutral for little ears. He gave the headmaster two lumps as motioned and then sat beside Remus. Remus was staring at the headmaster, looking rather more perturbed than Sirius felt.

"Did you enjoy your holiday with the Weasleys yesterday?" Albus asked.

"I would have enjoyed it more if I had known that Remus hasn't been ignoring me for seven months," Sirius said, leaning forward with an intensity that would have snapped him by now if Harry hadn't been in the room.

Albus took another deliberate sip of his tea and then set it down on his saucer.

"Why didn't you tell him where I was?" Remus finally asked, his voice soft and strained.

Albus sighed. "Very simply because I did not know." He held up a wrinkled hand when Sirius would have objected. "It was a modified Fidelius; cast in a way so that even I would not know your exact location."

"But... why?" Sirius demanded; Harry's eyes flicked up in concern. Noticing, Sirius relaxed his shoulders, smiling a little, and Harry went back to his play.

"It was an extremely dangerous time," Albus said; he sounded weary. "Nothing has ever been proven, of course," he said with a small nod for Remus. "There were rumors, however, and I did not want you to be found."

"But the Fidelius wouldn't have allowed you to give up my location," Remus said.

"The charm is not infallible-"

"You could have told me you sent him away," Sirius interrupted, his even tone belying his anger.

"If I had, Remus would have returned no sooner," Albus said, his voice calm and rational, even though his explanation made no sense. It was Albus, speaking in riddles as he always did. Sirius exchanged a glance with Remus and saw the anger that Remus wouldn't give into.

"It would have eased my worries, though," Sirius said plainly.

"Perhaps."

Albus sighed again when only stony silence greeted him. "Thank you for the tea," he said and then turned to Harry. "Enjoy your dragons, Harry."

Harry looked up and smiled as his legs scissored absently in the air. "Yes, sir."

"I'll show myself out," Albus said as he stood. "I am very happy to see you here, Remus. Your timing was especially auspicious." He pulled six vials from his pocket. "A gift from Severus," he said with small smile. "He's improved the formula."

"From Snape?" Sirius echoed as he stared at the tiny vials of Wolfsbane. He'd been shocked beyond speech when Albus had casually announced seven months ago that it had been Snape who had captured Peter. Somehow, providing Wolfsbane to Remus was the more shocking of the two acts, although it was a toss-up as to whom Snape loathed more... not that he didn't have reason.

"He is working on several projects for me," Albus said with a nod. "He will be most pleased to hear you've been reunited."

Remus found his voice first. "Please give him my deepest gratitude."

Albus dipped his head. "Of course," he said. "Though I do not believe he requires it." Albus smiled again, and then with a wave for Harry, he went out the same way he'd come in.

Sirius and Remus stared after him, neither knowing what to make of that.

"What does 'spicious mean?" Harry asked from the floor once the door was closed.

"Auspicious," Sirius corrected absently. He shook his head slightly and glanced down at his godson. "And it means lucky."

Harry cocked his head. "Who's lucky?"

Sirius smiled. "We are. We're very lucky to have Remus here."

Harry gazed at Remus, his eyebrows scrunched together. "Is he going to stay for breakfast?" he finally asked, turning to Sirius.

"His name is Remus," Sirius told him with a smile. "And yes, he is going to stay for breakfast. Maybe he'll make us crumpets. Remus is a brilliant chef."

Harry brightened. "I like crumpets!"

"Yes, I know you do," Sirius said with a chuckle. He reached down and pulled Harry onto his lap. "What do you think, Harry? Would you like Remus to make crumpets for us? They're much better than mine."

Harry nodded. "Sirius always burns the crumpets," he informed Remus with a solemn nod.

"Does he?"

Harry nodded again. "And sometimes he burns the waffles too."

"Oy!" Sirius protested. "That's supposed to be a secret."

"I told Ron already," Harry said; he reclined against Sirius' chest. "Mrs. Weasley too. That's why she makes us dinner sometimes; she's afraid you burn all the food."

Remus laughed, while Sirius stared at his godson's dancing eyes. He'd had no idea that was why Molly routinely pushed warm dishes into his hands, murmuring for Sirius not to protest. Not that he minded; Molly's food was always delicious.

"I would have thought your cooking skills would have improved," Remus said. Sirius resisted the urge to kiss the teasing smile off his face.

"Well, fine then; you can cook for us from now on," he said with a good-natured huff.

Harry's eyebrows rose curiously. "Are you going to make lunch for us too?"

Remus caught Sirius' eye over the top of Harry's head, and Sirius smiled.

"If you'd like," Remus said. Harry pressed his cheek against Sirius' shoulder; Sirius glimpsed the tiny smile, even though Harry didn't answer.

Sirius leaned down and kissed Harry's other cheek. "You go on upstairs and get dressed, and then we can help Remus find all the ingredients. And the special crumpet pan."

"I want to play with my dragons," Harry said, though to Sirius' ears, the protest was half-hearted at best.

"You may play with them after breakfast," he answered and then nudged his godsons' back so that Harry slid off his lap.

"Just one more minute?" Harry asked hopefully, but Sirius shook his head.

"Nope." He gave Harry's ribs a playful poke. "Scoot," he ordered. Harry's cheeks puffed out with a breath of laughter as he moved out of reach, and with his new orange friend tucked in his fist, he went upstairs.

As soon as Harry's feet cleared the landing, Remus turned to Sirius and said softly, "You've done beautifully with him. Lily and James would be very proud of you."

A flush warmed Sirius' cheeks at the unexpected praise. "He's exceptionally easy to love."

"And he very clearly loves you." Remus was smiling, but Sirius knew him well enough to recognize pain in his eyes--pain that he had no intention of Sirius seeing.

"He's Lily's child in more than just his eyes," Sirius said quietly. Remus swallowed; he'd been much closer to Lily than Sirius had been; they'd been friends long before James had ever dated her. And Lily had loved Remus as surely as she would have loved a brother.

"I love you, you know," Sirius said, hating the grief in the other man's eyes.

"Yes, I know," Remus murmured with a faint smile. He shook his head. "I don't know how I survived these last four years."

They'd talked all through the night, and though Sirius knew his pain intimately, it made it no easier to accept. Sirius took his hand. "You don't have to simply survive any longer, Remus. We'll take care of you now."

He searched Remus' eyes, willing him to believe that everything would be better now. He had meant it when he'd said that Harry was wholly Lily's son. He had a capacity for love that Sirius, quite frankly, could not understand--given the wasteland of affection that had been his existence for three and half years.

But Harry already loved the Weasleys; even the prickliest of the Weasleys, Percy, had earned a place in Harry's heart.

Remus, with a soul as gentle as Harry's, would have no difficulty in winning the little boy's affection. Sirius was sure of it.