The Shotgun Bride

Chapter Twenty: Tramp

**

"I heard that you were back in town," said Pansy Parkinson. She paused dramatically, resting one hand on the denim on one barely clad hip and pouted. She stood like that for a few long moments, then shook her head. "Too whiny," she decided.

She tossed her hair at the mirror again.

"So, have fun?" she said, this time lowering her eyes threateningly. Slightly too threateningly. She adjusted her facial expression slightly, and was pleased with the result.

"What are you doing?"

Pansy jumped as in the mirror she saw Draco standing behind her. "What the hell are you doing here?" she snapped.

"Visiting," he replied. "Why were you pretending to be one of Charlie's Angels?"

"I wasn't!" snapped Pansy.

"Your hands were in fake-gun positioning and you were about to take out the mirror with an imaginary bullet," Draco said.

"So why is the newlywed in my bedroom?" replied Pansy in her best, bitchiest voice, pointing her imaginary gun at him. "Wifey not satisfy you like I did?"

Draco swatted her hands away. "Do you really want me to answer that? You won't like the answer."

"I doubt that," replied Pansy. "But I guess you have to lie to yourself to sleep at night."

Draco knew from experience that if he didn't change the subject now Pansy would have him sharing every single intimate detail of his sex life. "So you heard about the wedding."

"Everyone's heard about your wedding, dumbass," said Pansy. "I hear a girl from Hufflepuff High was so distraught she jumped out of a window. It was a first-floor window so she was okay, but still."

"Really?" said Draco. "Well, I am hot."

Pansy snorted. "Not over you, sweetie. She was harboring a flame for Ginny."

"Oh," said Draco. He wondered what the girl's name was and what she looked like. Maybe Ginny would be open to experimentation.

"So why are you here again?" Pansy asked.

"I just wanted to make sure you weren't mad," said Draco.

"Mad? Why would I be mad? Do I look like a girl who's mad?" Pansy said.

"Well, yeah," Draco replied. "It looked like you were planning to take someone out when I came in here. And you're turning sort of red in the face, like you always do when you're mad."

Pansy turned and inspected her pallor in the mirror, but angrily found that Draco was right. "Well, of course I'm mad. You went and married that ho-biscuit."

"I don't think she's a ho-biscuit," Draco said. His friends had all said remarkably similar things about Ginny, but he thought she was great. And she wasn't a slut, either. They hadn't gone all the way until the third date, which was a very respectable amount of time. Of course, he counted their first encounter as a date, since she'd ridden around with him. And definitely it had been a date when they'd made out in the Dairy Queen parking lot, when they'd bumped into each other. And on the third date he'd bought her dinner and everything.

"Of course you don't think she's a tramp," Pansy said. "She's got you in her filthy, chipped polished talons. But as an impartial outsider I have to inform you that she is a slut."

"You're not impartial. You're my ex-girlfriend. That is the opposite of impartial," Draco said. "Besides, you're hardly lily-pure yourself."

"Not after dating you, no," Pansy said. "But I know you didn't get to do the honors for her."

"Well, no," Draco said. "But that doesn't mean she's a tramp."

"Of course not," Pansy said placatingly.

"So all this means you are mad," Draco said.

"A bit," Pansy said. She paused. "Okay, a lot."

"But why?" said Draco. "I know that no one else likes Ginny, but I do."

"Because I always thought I'd be the one to marry you, you doofus!" snapped Pansy. She then froze. She hadn't meant to tell him that.

Draco looked at her incredulously. "Did you completely forget how wrong we are for each other?"

"We weren't that bad!" Pansy replied.

"How about the time you got so mad at me you left me in the middle of the Abbott's cornfield in nothing but my boxers and a pair of tube socks?"

"You were being an ass."

"And the time I almost got you arrested?"

"Again, you were being an ass."

"And the time I gave your panties to Vince Crabbe in exchange for a video game?"

"Wow, I'd really forgotten how much of an ass you were," Pansy said.

"So really, it's good that I'm married to Ginny. She doesn't think I'm an ass, for one," Draco said.

"Well, not yet," Pansy said.

"What does that mean?" Draco replied.

"Nothing," Pansy said quickly. Too quickly.

Draco eyed her suspiciously, but knew from past experience that he wouldn't be able to get her to talk. He could only wait and see what she was going to do to him.

However long it took her undoubtedly evil plan to come to fruition.

***

Draco arrived to his first day on the job fifteen minutes late.

He had woken up early enough, but the presence of a disheveled, more than willing Ginny in his bed had distracted him out of a good portion of his seemingly plentiful time. He had jerked on some pants and raced upstairs, only to find that the bathroom was already occupied. He could hear the whir of a hair dryer through the door.

"Aunt Trixie," he said, banging on the door. "I need the shower!"

"I'll just be a minute," Bellatrix replied.

"You can fix your hair in our bathroom! You know our shower's busted," Draco said impatiently. "I have to go to work."

"And you can wait for me to get done with my bathroom," replied Bellatrix.

Draco sighed, and returned downstairs. He could just get dressed and go to work as-is, but he was paranoid that Arthur would be able to tell his morning activities, and he was definitely not prepared for that. He knew his father-in-law was aware that Draco was banging his daughter, but he wasn't sure how far he could push things before he found himself getting beat again. Those Weasleys were a violent group, after all. His bruises were finally gone and he frankly did not want to go through that again. His pride couldn't handle another Weasley-sponsored beating. It was undignified.

Plus, his father would laugh at him. That was embarrassing. And he would tell all his friends around the trailer park in retaliation for Draco marrying one of the Weasleys, something he knew deep down his father hated, and the fallout from that would be even worse than having everyone mock him because he had traded in Pansy for a pretty redhead.

"Why aren't you dressed?" mumbled Ginny, who was naked as a jaybird and tangled in the pale pink sheets she had put on their bed. He hadn't complained when he had first seen them (mostly due to the fact that he had also been naked as a jaybird and happy as a clam) but now he cringed as he realized his bed was covered in pink. That would change, and soon.

Draco scowled at his wife. "Because I haven't been able to take a shower because Bellatrix is in the only damn bathroom with a working shower and I'm going to be late."

Ginny giggled, the pink sheet sliding down dangerously low as she half-sat up. "You sound like a girl."

"I do not!" said Draco, shocked and appalled that she would suggest such a thing.

"You're just upset because you can't fix your hair properly," Ginny said.

Draco glared at his wife. The pink sheet looked damn cute on her. "Shouldn't you get dressed too? Aren't you doing anything today?" he said.

"I'm going to go to Mom's and get the rest of my clothes," she said.

Draco glanced at the trash bags spilling with clothes that sat along one wall. "I don't remember you wearing that many clothes."

Ginny gasped. "You did think I dressed trampy!"

"What? No! I'm just saying that's a lot of clothes," Draco said. "And you seem to wear not that many. But in the non-Eskimo-layered kind of way, not the should-be-on-a-street-corner kind of way."

"Draco!" came Bellatrix's shrill yell. "Bathroom's free!"

Ginny sighed. "Fine, you don't think I dress too scantily. Go, bathe."

Draco dashed upstairs, showered and tried to fix his hair but ended up with it looking like a mess. Ginny was dressed and sitting at the table sipping a cup of water when he got out, and he kissed her and left.

He got out to his car, started her up and drove to work as quickly as he could manage, still arriving fifteen minutes late.

"You're late," said Arthur as he walked in the door to the office of the garage.

Draco knew that the Malfoy thing to do would be to deflect the blame onto someone else, but also knew that blaming his lateness on his boss's daughter's morning loving was the wrong thing to do. Traffic wasn't a good excuse, not enough cars were out this early, and this was a garage so claiming car troubles wouldn't work. He couldn't make Bellatrix seem any worse than Arthur already thought she was....

Arthur sighed as the silence stretched out, and said, "Fine, we won't hold it against you since it's your first day. Come on."

He followed Arthur into the main part of the garage to meet his co-workers. As soon as he saw them he regretted taking the job. He wondered if it was too late to flee.

"I'm sure you know Harry Potter" Arthur said. "And this is Remus Lupin, Ernie Macmillian, Neville Longbottom and Seamus Finnigan."

All were glaring at Draco. He chose to sneer at them in return.

"So why did you have to hire him again?" said Harry. "Because he's a filthy Slytherin and they aren't welcome around here."

"Yeah," said Seamus, whacking a wrench against his palm.

Ernie and Neville nodded in agreement, while Remus sighed. "I'm sure he's qualified for the job."

Draco thought that he should quit. Dealing with simple-minded idiots like this everyday would surely drive him to murder, and he didn't think that prison would be his thing. After all, look at how Bellatrix acted after spending a chunk of time in the pen. For all accounts, she'd been much prettier beforehand. And he was, when it came down to it, really just too good-looking to go to jail. So that meant he should quit.

But then that damned Potter and Finnigan would think they chased him off, and he couldn't stand that embarrassment. It seemed that half his life was being defined by embarrassment lately. So he sucked it up and stood there, silently waiting for Arthur to continue.

The silence stretched on. Arthur seemed to be waiting on something, but Draco stood patiently.

"So why were you late?" asked Harry.

Draco glanced at Arthur discreetly. "None of your business."

"Somebody spent their morning canoodling," muttered Ernie.

"I don't canoodle," said Draco.

At the same time, Arthur glared and said, "No talk concerning my daughter and canoodling."

No one seemed willing to go against Arthur's proclamation so Draco was given the rest of the tour of the garage, which didn't take long, and then was left to work on a car with Harry and Neville while Arthur returned to the office.

Neither one seemed too happy with him, and while he knew it was because of Ginny he really wasn't sure why they had such a grudge against him. He did decide, though, that it was prudent that he not get into a fight on his first day, so he chose not to bring up the topic.

Harry was the first one to break the ice. He slicked his hand through his greased-down hair (which prominently displayed his favorite feature, his scar) and said, "I don't like you."

Draco looked up, hoping that Harry had spoken to Neville but found Harry was glaring directly at him. He waited, knowing that in movies and bars people would continue on to list the unlikable traits that spurned the dislike, but Harry simply glared at him with all the self-churned righteousness of a televangelist.

"So? You've never liked me," Draco replied. "Remember the time after you saw Lord of the Rings and you thought Ringwraiths were going to swoop down and get you because you had that scar and that made you 'special', and I heard about it and got my friends to dress in dark cloaks and scared you so badly you fell off your bike and broke your arm?"

Neville suddenly started rooting around under the hood of the car and Draco could see his shoulders shaking in a suspiciously laughter-like jiggle.

"But now I don't like you for a more personal reason," snapped Harry. "Ginny was going to be mine."

"But I thought you were dating the Patil twins," Draco said.

"That is beside the point," Harry said. "The point was, I was going to have fun for a few years, and then Ginny was going to be there for me. She wasn't going to go ruin herself with the likes of you."

Draco was vaguely relieved to hear that Ginny apparently hadn't ever done anything with Harry. He was also suddenly certain that Harry wasn't close to Ginny at all, because then he would have known his plan wouldn't have worked.

Apparently, Seamus felt the same, judging from the loud snort that came from across the garage, where the other three were putting an exhaust system on a sedan.

Draco realized that what Harry was saying about Ginny were what he would have considered fighting words, but now it seemed a bit ridiculous. Ginny was his, after all, and that wasn't likely to change. And Harry definitely hadn't woken up to a hot redhead this morning. He just grinned cheekily at the black haired boy and started to change the oil in the car they were working on.

Harry glared but didn't offer any more of his opinions on Draco's romantic situation.

"You got a gig tonight?" Neville called to Remus a little while later.

"Nope, tomorrow," replied Remus.

Draco hadn't known that mild-mannered Remus Lupin was in a band.

"What are you wearing this time?" asked Ernie.

"I got this red sparkly number," replied Remus.

"Red sparkly?" Draco repeated confusedly before remembering he was trying to keep a low profile.

"It matches the heels. They're very Wizard of Oz," said Remus.

Draco blinked then asked, "Then shouldn't you wear a blue dress and carry a basket?"

Remus scowled. "It's a concert, not a costume party."

"Oh. You're a serious transvestite, then," Draco said. "I see."

The other guys were laughing, and Remus turned slightly red. "It's just a shtick. It's edgy, being a transvestite. And dresses flatter my body type."

"So you don't want real boobs," Draco said. He knew that Remus was a creepy looking guy, but the creepiness was apparently not just skin deep. He wondered briefly why a man who moonlighted as a transvestite had such an ugly moustache, but didn't want to ask. Maybe it was to keep him from being hit on by being the ugliest woman there. Or maybe it had some obscure, transvestite culture meaning that Draco really didn't want to know.

"Not on my chest, no," replied Remus.

Draco was beginning to think that he had married only the normal Gryffindor.

"You should go see the band. They're called the Marauders, and they're really good," said Neville.

"That's okay," said Draco.

Seamus snickered. "He just got married. He doesn't want to go see a band of transvestites. He wants to take advantage of the fact she isn't fat yet."

"Ginny's not going to get fat," said Harry.

Draco stared. "Of course she is."

"You want your wife," Draco noticed Harry stuttered a bit over the word, "to get fat?"

"Well, I didn't want her to but she will anyway," Draco said.

Harry still looked confused.

"Because she's pregnant," offered Draco. "I thought everyone knew that." The others nodded that they, in fact, had known.

"Ginny Weasley?" said Harry. "But..."

"She's a Malfoy now," said Draco. "And I really don't know why you're so hung up on this. It really doesn't concern you."

"That's right, clear the air so that it'll be bearable having you here," said Seamus.

Draco scowled at him.

"Am I the only one who sees how insane this marriage is? Am I the only one who remembers that Slytherins are evil and that the Malfoys are no good?" said Harry.

Harry's rant was greeted with silence. Remus looked as though he wanted to say something, but he shut his mouth and remained silent. From somewhere in the background, the radio that had been left playing warbled, "I may be a real bad boy but baby I'm a real good man."

"Remember what his father did to Ginny?" Harry said, pleadingly.

Draco sighed. He'd known that this would come up eventually, but so far had been lucky. When he had been twelve, he and his father had bumped into the Weasley clan in the Tractor Supply Co. Words had been exchanged and his father and Arthur had come to blows, knocking over a display of belts, the buckle on one of which had given his father a black eye. Right before the fight broke out, though, his father had accidently dropped a copy of Grand Theft Auto in little Ginny's bag. From all accounts, she had become addicted to the game and had taken her neighbor's Cobra for a joyride before anyone had discovered it. Harry Potter had been with her, by all accounts, and had forced the Cobra off the road before a cop noticed the erratic swerving, saving Ginny from a stint in Juvie.

"It was just a video game," Draco said. "Not that big of a deal."

"Not that big a deal? She could have been killed!"

"But she wasn't," Draco pointed out.

"But she could have been," Harry insisted. Draco wondered if this was what it was going to be like having a child. No, any child of his wouldn't be this stupidly bullheaded. Malfoys produced good-looking children destined to be the cool kid in class, not whiny smelly brats who would be mocked and ridiculed..

He remembered suddenly that Ginny's brother had been one of the smelly kids he'd mocked, and could only hope that his superior Malfoy genes won over the smelly Weasley ones.

He really should be saying something to knock Harry off his high horse, he realized. "Why the hell are you going on about this?"

"Because Ginny deserved better than you," Harry replied.

Draco raised his eyebrow and said, "I happen to think I'm a good catch."

He decided that the snorts from the various Gryffindors were fueled by jealousy. People who had attended Gryffindor High always were jealous of Slytherins, whose school was nicer and had better sports teams and had rich benefactors that bought the aforementioned teams nice, new uniforms.

"You really think Draco ruined Ginny?" Ernie asked Harry suddenly.

Harry looked at Ernie like he was dumb. "Of course he did. Ginny was a sweet girl before he got to her."

Draco, Neville, Remus and Seamus snorted, and Ernie said, "Man, where have you been?"

"I thought I was supposed to be the bumbling idiot," muttered Neville.

"Ginny's a total tramp," said Seamus.

"Hey," said Draco.

"She is?" Harry asked.

"No," said Draco shortly. No one chose to contradict him, and the rest of Draco's day was without incident. Other than when Neville backed a car into him, that was, but as he wasn't actually injured and he got to cuss up a blue storm at Neville, he wrote it off as one of the many dangers of working with idiots.

***

That night, they all sat around the circular kitchen table in green vinyl chairs eating spaghetti. Draco sat on Ginny's left, and Bellatrix was directly across from her.

"How was work?" Ginny asked.

"Did you know Harry Potter thought you were a sweet, innocent girl that I corrupted?" Draco replied.

"Really," said Ginny. "Well, that explains why he offered me a sugar cube when I asked him for sugar that one day in the stables."

Draco raised an eyebrow.

"Hey, he's kinda cute!" Ginny said. "Clueless, but cute."

"I hope this was before us," said Draco.

Ginny thought. "Probably." She paused. "Most likely, anyway. And anyway, it's not how you play the game, it's whether you win or lose, and you most definitely won." She leaned over and gave him some sugar. Bellatrix made a disgusted sound. Ginny pulled away and kept to her side of the table.

"Hey, you know what we need?" Ginny said. "A kitten!"

"No cats," Bellatrix said immediately.

"Come on," Ginny said. "Kittens are adorable! And they're useful too. I hear Hermione Granger's got a bunch she's trying to get rid of."

"I don't want an ugly cat," Draco said. "And her kittens will be ugly."

"Well, do you know of any cute kittens?" Ginny asked.

"Did anyone hear me? I said no cats!" yelled Bellatrix.

An awkward silence fell.

"So," said Ginny, in a peacekeeping attempt. "This is good spaghetti."

Bellatrix glared at her.

"Really. The noodles are very squiggly and the sauce is a nice shade of red," said Ginny, poking at her plate with her fork.

"Draco, can you tell your tramp to shut her trap?" Bellatrix said.

"Um," said Draco. He shoveled a few more bites of spaghetti into his mouth, knowing that neither woman would ask him a question if his mouth was full, out of fear of becoming covered in half-chewed spaghetti. All he had to do was keep his mouth full for the remainder of the meal and he could go hide underneath his car, pretending to work on, well, anything. Neither Ginny nor Bellatrix knew enough about cars to question him.

"At least I'm trying to get along with you!" snapped Ginny. "I think you're a psycho, butch bitch but I don't go around announcing it at the dinner table, now do I?"

Draco concentrated on chewing.

Bellatrix slammed her fork down, sending a red spray of spaghetti sauce. It flicked across Ginny's pale blue top and Ginny shrieked indignantly. "What did you just call me?"

"You heard me," said Ginny, pulling at her shirt to inspect the damage.

"I must have been distracted by your pudginess," Bellatrix said calmly. "Good thing that shirt's ruined, it wasn't flattering at all."

Ginny stared, and burst into tears. "I'm not fat! I can't be!"

"She broke quick," muttered Bellatrix to her nephew. "I'll have to remember to play the fat card again."

"Draco, do you think I'm pudgy?" Ginny wailed.

"Not at all," Draco said through his mouthful of spaghetti. He continued to chew, feeling more and more like a cow with every chomp.

"Come on, Draco, you have to admit that she's got a little extra baggage around the middle," Bellatrix coaxed.

Ginny stood, still crying, and ran out of the room.

Draco sighed. "You do realize she's pregnant, right?"

Bellatrix paused. "Um. I may have forgotten about that what with all the taunting."

"So teasing her about her weight is a very bad idea," Draco said slowly. He loved his aunt, but she was a mess. And now he would have to deal with a crying Ginny, which he had learned over the past week was as perilous as walking across a minefield. The slightest wrong word would turn tears into a screaming fit where things were launched at both his head and the parts Ginny deemed responsible for her condition.

"That doesn't make her any less of a tramp," said Bellatrix.

Draco wished everyone would stop telling him his wife was a tramp.

"In fact, it makes her more of a tramp," Bellatrix said. "Just like your mother."

Draco wished that his wish had been granted, and that it had included a clause where his mother wasn't to be called a tramp. At least, not where he could hear it.

"Your mother was pregnant when she married your father, you know. You're lucky she picked the right guy," Bellatrix continued. "It would have been mighty embarrassing for Severus otherwise. Or Walden. Or Antonin."

Draco wondered if he could somehow escape. He could claim he needed to comfort his upset wife. He opened his mouth to do so but Bellatrix continued talking. "Now Lucius is a fine man. If you hadn't been conceived then I might have convinced Lucius that I was the sister worth marrying. But no, Narcissa had to go get knocked up."

"I should go... Ginny..." said Draco desperately.

"Your father was great in the sack, after all. Your mother's a lucky woman," Bellatrix said.

Draco fled downstairs.

"Ginny?" he called.

"What do you want, you bastard?" came her muffled voice from the bathroom.

He followed her voice and pushed the door open. Ginny was standing in front of the mirror, inspecting her middle critically.

"Gin, you know not to take anything Aunt Trixie says seriously, right?" Draco said cautiously.

"Look at me! I'm massive!" Ginny said in response. Draco looked for the massive weight accumulation Ginny was upset about but couldn't see anything different from usual.

"I think you're perfect," said Draco.

"I've gained weight! I never gain weight!"

"You do realize that you will gain weight what with the baby and all, right?" Draco asked cautiously.

"Eventually, yeah," Ginny said.

"It's supposed to happen," said Draco. "And you'll look just as beautiful then as you do now."

He privately thanked Pansy for forcing him to sit through all those chick flicks when they'd been dating. He hadn't been paying attention at all, really, but apparently he'd picked up some useful things, judging from Ginny's sudden smile. He hugged her, grateful for a disaster mostly diverted.

"We're totally getting a cat," Ginny mumbled into his shoulder. "I'll teach that cow to call me fat."