The Shotgun Bride

Chapter Nine: Mamaw!

"Here you go, honey," Molly Weasley said, proffering a frozen pork chop to Draco Malfoy.

"Thanks," he replied, taking the piece of meat and pressing it against his left eye. Most of the blood had been wiped off his pale face, but a few angry welts and cuts still remained. His eye, no matter how long the pork chop remained on it, was going to end up black. His bottom lip was split and swelling, and all in all he looked like he had fought a group of very angry men and lost.

Strange coincidence, that.

"Ginny, did you get that piece of cake out?" Molly called to her daughter, who was hovering across the room.

"I'm working on it, Mom," replied Ginny, pulling a saucer out of the cabinet. She looked at the slice of cake. It was pretty big. She wasn't sure that Draco needed to be eating all that chocolate with his busted lip. Maybe she should cut it in half, and help him out...

"Ginny! You don't need a knife to put cake on a saucer!" Molly snapped.

"I was just going to help him out with it. I'm not sure that he needs this much..."

"Ginny, give the piece of cake to him now."

"Fine," Ginny grumbled, dropping the slice of cake on the saucer, making sure that as much frosting as possible remained on the knife she had decided would work just as well as any other kitchen appliance. She set the cake down in front of Draco with a clatter, and handed him a fork. She then sat down across from him, and began to lick the frosting off the knife.

"This is really good cake," Draco said. He was still holding the pork chop with one hand, while carefully navigating the cake laden fork into his busted mouth with the other hand. Ginny thought he looked adorable.

Molly, in the meantime, had been putting away the groceries she had bought at the store. She pulled the last item, a bottle of ketchup, from the bag, and stuck it in the fridge. She picked up the Moon Pies that she had lain on the counter, and took them into the living room. Her husband was sitting in his Laz-E-Boy, watching TV.

"Here you go," she said, tossing the Moon Pie across the room to him. Arthur looked up just in time to catch the flying treat, and mumbled a thanks.

"Mom, are you really mad at us over that thing?" George asked. He and Fred were the only ones present. The other Weasley brothers had scattered upon entering the house.

"That thing? Oh, you mean when you ganged up against your sister's boyfriend and beat the living daylights out of him? Why on earth would I be angry about that?"

George was smart enough to not answer that question.

Fred spoke up then to try and distract his mother's attention away from his cringing twin. "Um, Mom..."

He trailed off, realizing that he had absolutely nothing to say. He glanced out the window, hoping for a distraction, and was pleasantly surprised when he saw one. "Mamaw's here."

"What?" yelped Molly. She hurried over to the window, and peered out. Surely enough, there was her mother's car parked right outside. Her mother, Josephine Davis, affectionately known as Jo to the masses, called Momma by her child, Mamaw by her grandchildren, and Sweetie Pie by countless men, was climbing out of her gold Cadillac.

Jo was a woman in her mid-sixties. She was inordinately fond of blue eyeshadow, and kept her short hair dyed black, despite the fact that she was a natural redhead. She claimed that black hair made her look younger, and that she could finally wear green without feeling like a Christmas decoration. She was wearing a pair of slacks, a white blouse, and a big gold necklace that might make some rappers envious of her bling-bling.

"Molly Ann! Where are you, girl?" she called as she stepped onto the porch.

Molly sighed, and went to the front door, opening it and unlocking the screen door. "I'm right here, Momma."

"Look at you! I think you've put on a pound or two. You never did get your figure back after that last baby, did you?"

Nevermind that the last time she had given birth had been seventeen years ago, Molly thought darkly. She resisted the urge to slam shut the door, and said through gritted teeth, "Come on in."

"Of course I was coming in! I was just waiting for you to get out of the way," Jo replied, walking into the living room. She smiled at her son-in-law. "How're ya doing, Arthur?"

"I'm fine, Jo," he mumbled, and turned his attention back to the TV. On the screen, a fat woman wearing a muu-muu was yelling at a skinny, shirtless man who was holding a can of beer. A cop was glancing back and forth between the two, obviously trying to figure out which one to arrest.

"And the twins! How're you doing?"

"We're fine, Mamaw," Fred said.

"Yeah, we were just heading outside to help Bill with the truck," George said.

"Yeah, the radiator's been giving him some trouble lately," added Fred, and then the two fled outside.

Jo then headed towards the kitchen. Molly followed her, forgetting about who was in the kitchen until a few seconds too late.

It's worth the time to take a moment to explain exactly why Josephine Davis, mother of one, grandmother of many, is not fond of the Malfoy family.

When Jo had been but a girl, living with her momma in their small house down near Dirtywater Creek, she had been completely in love with a young man who lived across town. She had met with him, and they had gone on long walks in the woods, and all that sort of lovey-dovey thing. Unfortunately, due to the nature of lovey-dovey things, Jo had ended up pregnant.

Now, this wouldn't have been as big of a disgrace except for the fact that no one had actually known that Jo was seeing any one person. She had also gone to the church dance with a different young man, and had gone to the school social with yet another young man. Basically, Jo had gotten around.

Now, for all you soap opera fans out there, fear not, because none of these young men are the reason that Jo has problems with the Malfoy family. So fear not for this story turning into a real southern parody, with family trees that make a corn stalk look branched.

However, Billy Joe Malfoy, father of Lucius, had been the one to bring up Jo's promiscuity in front of the town preacher. The reverend had given Jo a very public tongue lashing that Sunday at church, and ever since Jo had hated the Malfoy family.

So, when Jo, more than forty years later, walked into her daughter's kitchen and found her favorite granddaughter stealing a bite of a piece of cake sitting in front of a beat-up blond whose whole appearance just screamed Malfoy, she got a mite upset.

"Ginny Sue! What in the hell do you think you're doing?"

Ginny looked at her grandmother guiltily, and said, "I just had one bite, Mamaw."

"That's not what I'm talking about? Why is there a Malfoy in your mother's kitchen? You know how I feel about them!" Jo was slightly livid.

Ginny looked at her mother, wondering what she was supposed to say. Molly shrugged, but shook her head hoping that Ginny wouldn't spill the beans to Jo just yet.

"Um, yeah, Mamaw, I do know how you feel about them, but I was just..."

"Just what?" interrupted Jo.

Ginny shrugged. Draco looked back and forth between the three women, but decided that silence was the best policy in this case. He kept his head low over the cake, which really was a lot better than his own momma's, and hoped that Ginny's grandmother wasn't the violent sort.