How To Take Over The World In Five Days

Chapter 1 / Day 1

It was a cold stormy night, and Kyron Alhamre, Britain's number one Archeologist and a wizard, sat in his old brown armchair, which was also making him a drink, an IcyMary, and cleaning his shoes. Kyron was reading Blush beauty magazine. While he read a very interesting article titled 'How to turn on your wizard" he heard knocking on the front door.

He dragged himself to the big wooden doors and pulled it back a little. Lightning revealed to him two dark and tall figures standing in front of him. As his heart jumped he started closing the doors and grabbing his wand, but one of the wizards in front of him was faster.

"Expelliarmus!" one shouted and he flew back and hit a bookcase.

The two wizards entered the house and one started checking the books in the hall.

"Hello, Kyron." The second wizard looked into the eyes of the frightened wizard on the floor.

"You..." Kyron mumbled.

"Oh we do not need to start with the names, you can call me Lord Voldemort." A thunderclap made Voldemort jump a little.

"I scared myself for a second. Well back to business. My minion and I want to know where the stone of Rebb-ur is, and you are going to tell us." Another thunder and Voldemort gave a shriek.

"Aah! Anyway, tell us where the stone is!"

"I don't know where the stone is, it was never found!" Kyron was shaking.

"Really?" Voldemort smiled.

"Yeah"

"Really?" Voldemort looked at his minion who was trying to shake a book off his index finger.

"Oh you imbecile." He aimed his wand and the book exploded, taking a chunk of the finger.

"Thank you sir," he cried.

"Now back to you, Kyron." He looked at the old wizard on the floor.

"I don't know where the stone is, really."

"Really really?" Voldemort smiled again.

"Ok I'll tell you where the stone is."

Voldemort laughed an evil laugh.

"It is in the back room." Kyron pointed the way.

"Thank you." Voldemort walked towards the back room singing:

"I'm happy, oh so happy..."

"Avada Kedavra!" The other wizard shot the killing curse on the poor Kyron Alhamre.

"Lucius, why do you have to be so trigger happy?" Voldemort asked the second wizard.

"Sorry, my lord." Lucius looked apologetic.

"Oh shut it, let's go get the stone. Frankly I didn't think it would be so easy," Voldemort said as they entered the chamber.

The stone lit the whole room.

"Get the stone, Lucius."

"Yes, my lord." Malfoy took the stone and put it in a handbag he took out of his robe.

"Where did you get that nice bag, Lucius?" Voldemort got excited when he saw the fluffy pink bag.

"Stole if from a bum somewhere," Lucius smiled.

"Is it over now, my lord? Can we execute the plan?"

"Oh no, my loyal minion, it is only begun," and the two went skipping out of the room, hand in hand as 'Why can't we be friends' played on an invisible stereo.

~^~^~^~

The body of Kyron Alhamre was discovered a few hours later when his neighbors woke up and wanted a cup of seaweed. They immediately called the ministry who sent their best agents on the case-- But they were too busy, so they sent two complete rookies for their first mission.

"What are your thoughts, Potter?" asked a younger wizard who was checking the house for bad karma.

"It is probably Voldemort or one of his men." Harry Potter looked at the body.

"Why do you think that?"

"Other wizards don't kill." The young wizard nodded in agreement.

"And after killing him he went into... that room!" Harry pointed to the back room.

"How do you figure that?"

"The body is still pointing to that direction." The young wizard nodded again.

The two walked to the back room.

"Voldemort took something," Harry mumbled as he checked the room with his eyes.

"What makes you say that?"

"There's a stand in the center of the room with a place for something on it and it is the only thing in the room." The young wizard nodded once more.

"Harry, come look at this," the voice of Hermione Granger called him from the other room.

"I found Kyron Alhamre's biography; apparently he was responsible for many archeological findings." Hermione looked at Harry.

"OK, I want you to make a full list of his findings and their current location. I want to know what Voldemort took ASAP."

"Yes, sir!" Hermione walked away smiling.

"You, I don't want to hear your stupid questions again." He pointed at the young wizards.

"Yes, sir!" He walked away as well.

"AND YOU! Who are you anyway?" He pointed at an old witch on the other side of the room.

"Me, I'm Sherry Bobbins the maid, guv'ner!" She smiled and waved.

"WELL GO AWAY!" Harry shouted.

"What have you done Voldemort? What are you trying to accomplish?" Harry mumbled to himself.

~^~^~^~

"I think I know what you-know-who took from Alhamre's house, Harry!" Hermione burst into Harry's office, while he was looking at the door waiting for something to happen.

"What is it, Hermione?" Harry jumped from his chair.

"The stone of Rebb-ur." She showed him very interesting illustrations from the book she was holding.

"What does it do?" Harry asked, while looking at the pictures.

"It is put on the wand like this when it is vertical." She pointed at the first picture.

"And it amplifies the power of the spells the wand casts." Harry continued to look at the pictures which seemed to remind him of something.

"So in theory, Voldemort can now make the killing curse and he doesn't have to be in the same continent as the target?"

"In theory..." Hermione replied and they decided to close the distracting book.

"Ok let's go and find the Dung Beetle and squeeze him for some information." He walked to the door.

"To the brooms!" Hermione shouted, and ran after him.

"Hey. That's my line." Harry frowned.

~^~^~^~

"...so you need three hundred kilos of fluxweed, that would be six hundred Galleons." Porter Latam, also known as the Dung Beetle, just made another successful deal selling something he did not have and didn't even plan to have for an extremely high price, when he was interrupted by a very familiar voice.

"Excuse me." He heard the voice from behind him and when he turned he saw Harry Potter and Hermione Granger.

"Hi, dung beetle," Harry started as the wizard dealing with him ran away.

"You know I hate it when you call me that." Porter frowned.

"Yes, but what kind of a name for a snitch is 'Porter'?" The three nodded in consent.

"Well what do you want to know?" Porter grinned.

"Where is Voldemort?"

"Eek," Porter squealed in a girly cry when he heard that name.

"It's going to cost you," he continued.

Harry took a little bag of his robe and took a few coins and put them in his hands.

"I do not know, but I heard that Pettigrew is hanging out in Hogsmeade."

"What's Wormtail doing there?" Harry grabbed Porter by his robes.

"Don't know, I heard he may be recruiting from the Hog's Head." Harry let go of him.

"Let's go, Hermione; we are going to get ourselves a rat." They mounted their brooms and rode north. Half an hour later they realized they were flying south, so they changed their heading and were now in the right direction.