A Wedding Full of Errors

A Wedding Full of Errors - The Errors of the Wedding

"I don't..." a heart broken Harry began, but was immediately interrupted by the loud voice of his Best Man's father.

"Out of the way, lad. The bride is coming. Fred and George, you two push these interfering reporters out of way. Use what ever means you need to get them out of our sight. Out of the way! The bride is coming! Ron, what are you hanging around the back for? Aren't you the Best Man? Get to the front with Harry. Make way for the bride!"

Another ripple of murmuring shifted through the crowd at this announcement. Sighs of relief as well as groans of disappointment could be heard from all corners.

Harry's back straightened up upon hearing the news. He felt his energy coming back to his body as he wiped off the sweat glistened on his forehead with his sleeves. He looked expectantly at the back door and prayed for Hermione to appear as soon as possible.

Ron appeared by Harry's side. "My dad said there was some kind of troubles on their way over here. Apparently a large flock of birds attacked them on the way and the car ran out of petals. They are all wet, because the car fell from the sky into a river when it stopped and dropped. Somehow, they managed to find their way over and walked here. Fancy that! No wonder they took so long. Anyway, you'll have to wait a little longer. My dad just ran here to tell you that Hermione would be here. They need some time to fix themselves up. You don't want Hermione to be drenched in water when you two marry, do you?"

Harry nearly fainted. "This is so unfair! I thought I had my share of disasters when I had a muddy-ringles proposal. Am I about to put up with a wet and ringless wedding too? Ron, are you sure you've got the rings?"

Ron felt his pocket. "Yeah, it's here."

"Let's pray for the rest of the wedding to go well then," prayed Harry.

Finally, the wedding march began to play. Ginny, the soaked Maid of Honor with no gloves, led the rest of the bridesmaids forward. They looked terrible. They looked as if they had just been to a bloody war in which had rained. Harry, Ron, Draco and the rest of the audiences winced at the sight.

Following behind the bridesmaids, were Mr. Granger and Hermione. Harry saw a wet-looking Mr. Granger and a barefooted Hermione, whose hair was still dripping water, walking down the aisle. Despite of the trail of water dripping from Hermione's dress, Harry found her even prettier than normal. Harry decided that she looked even better when she was wet.

Hermione smiled radiantly as her father gave Harry her hand. Harry looked lovingly at his wife-to-be as the two knelt before the minister, waiting to be joined.

(A/N: I don't know the exact procedure of the actual wedding, so I'll just skip all the way to the exchange of the vow part.)

The minister asked Harry, "We are gathered here this day to unite this man, Harry James Potter, and this woman, Hermione Elizabeth Granger, in the bonds of holy matrimony which is an honorable estate. Into this, these two now come to be joined. If anyone present can show just and legal cause why they may not be joined, let them speak now or forever hold their peace. Harry, will you have this woman as your lawful wedded wife, to live together in the estate of matrimony? Will you love her, honor her, comfort her, and keep her in sickness and in health; forsaking all others, be true to her as long as you both shall live?"

"I will," answered Harry happily.

The minister turned to Hermione. "Hermione, will you have this man as your lawful wedded husband, to live together in the estate of matrimony? Will you love him, honor him, comfort him, and keep him in sickness and in health; forsaking all others, be true to him as long as you both shall live?"

"I will," Hermione answered. Her face glowed with happiness.

"The wedding ring is the outward and visible sign of an inward and spiritual bond which unites two loyal hearts in endless love. It is a seal of the vows Harry James Potter and Hermione Elizabeth Granger have made to one another. Bless O God these rings, that Hermione and Harry, who give them, and who wear them, may ever abide in thy peace. Living together in unity, love and happiness for the rest of their lives," the minister said. The minister then gave a look to the Best Man, Ron.

Ron, who had switched off as soon as the minister began the ceremony, didn't notice the pause and the look the minister gave him.

Harry and Hermione both looked up at Ron expectantly.

Finally, the minister sighed. "Mr. Weasley, may I ask you to bring forward the rings to be exchanged?"

"Oh, the rings!" Ron finally snapped out of his trance. "Of course! Here...." Ron began to fumble in his pockets. "I swear I put it here a while ago...."

Harry and Hermione looked at each other in alarm. Did that mean that they have to be married without rings too?

"Why did you give the rings to Ron?" hissed Hermione.

"It's the custom that the Best Man keeps the rings," answered Harry in a low voice, while Ron continued to look all over for the ring.

"Ron is going to mess this up. I'm sure of it!" whispered Hermione angrily. "I didn't have the ring for my engagement. Is the history going to repeat itself?"

Harry wasn't pleased either. "I told him to check for so many times too!"

Ron muttered as he fumbled wildly around. "Is it here? No.... Here? No.... It's not in the breast pocket, where can it be?"

The crowd down below began to whisper once more.

Mr. and Mrs. Granger, the Weasleys, the bridesmaids and the groomsmen eyed the fumbling Ron in terror. All of them crossed their fingers and hoped that the rings would turn up.

"Here it is!" cried Ron triumphantly. "I knew it's here somewhere.... Arragh!"

Harry and Hermione's relief was short lived as their best friend tripped over the stairs and fell. The rings slipped out of his hand and soared through the air. Everyone in the church stopped breathing as they stared at the pair of rings in the air. They soared separately to different directions and landed among the crowd.

A sudden uproar burst through the crowd. Everyone was suddenly on his or her feet, searching for the missing rings.

"I've got one!" an old man, who invited himself to the wedding, called in his shaking voice. "Here.... Ouch! Don't...."

The old man was immediately pushed over by the wave of people looking for the rings. Being sat on by hundreds of people, the old man lost the precious rings.

"I saw it!" screamed a three years old boy. "Why, it rolled by the bride's mother's feet...."

The wave of people changed direction instantly and hurled themselves at Mrs. Granger's feet. Poor Mrs. Granger, who had already lost her glasses, was forced to sit on her bottom as balls of fists fought over her daughter's rings.

"It's mine! I'm presenting it to the great Harry Potter!"

"No! I got it first! I'm presenting it to Mr. Harry Potter!"

It must have been the worst crowd fight ever in the history of Britain. The crowd made a lot of noises. Women screamed as men shouted with a few cries of babies on and off. The church had been destroyed. Sacred water had been splashed and benches had been smashed. Torn cloths lay about the room as the fight went on.

Harry pulled Hermione back to her feet. The nearly-married couple gaped at the mess in front of them, not knowing what to do. Their wedding rings must be down there somewhere with the crowd. However, there was nothing to be seen apart from legs and fists and dirt.

"Stop! Stop!" the minister called, in vain of trying to save his church from total destruction. "Stop it this instance! This church as a history of two hundred years! You are are destroying historical monuments! Stop! You are breaking the law!"

Somehow, both of the rings found their way to the front of the church and landed by Harry and Hermione's sides. Before the couple could pick up their much wanted possessions, the crowd had already darted towards them. Harry and Hermione could do nothing but to clung to each other tightly and hoped for the best.

Just as the crowd reached the groom and the bride, Albus Dumbledore stood up from the back of the church. He cast an extraordinarily strong spell and froze the whole crowd. This enchantment caused many hands reaching out for the rings to stop in the air just before any of them grabbed the rings.

"This," Dumbledore gestured around the church, "is outrageously ridiculous! Accio wedding rings!"

The pair of wedding rings flew obediently into Dumbledore's hand. With another wave of his wand, Dumbledore unfroze the church and the crowd landed upon the bride and the groom accidentally.

Dumbledore made his way to the front of the room. "All these ridicules must be stopped at once. Get off Harry and Hermione right now."

As the crowd picked themselves up clumsily from the ground and went back to their seats, which was reduced to splinters, Dumbledore gave the rings to the frightened Muggle minister. "Do continue."

"Ah, yes, of course," the minister's eyes still didn't leave his destroyed benches, which had been made two centuries ago. However, he managed to pull himself together and continued to conduct the ceremony. He held out the ring for the bride and gave it to Harry along with a piece of paper. "Please give this ring to your bride and read the words off the paper."

Harry straightened himself up. But, just as he did so, the zipper of his pants burst opened. Harry blushed deeply in embarrassment as he turned around and tried to zip his zipper up. Hermione immediately stepped in front of Harry in attempt to block him from the public view. However, for five minutes Harry battled with his pants but the fly remained open. Even Hermione's gracious smile couldn't distract the crowd for long.

The crowd was, of course, curious to know why the groom was silent for so long. Everyone craned his or her neck to see what was happening right at the front.

Ron walked up to his best friends and offered to help. "No thanks," refused Harry flatly. "I don't have my wand here today and Hermione had left hers outside. I know you haven't got yours with you. But you can try to find me some safety pins."

"Safety pins?" enquired Ron, puzzled.

"Pins, any pins!" Harry nearly screamed. Sometimes Harry wished Ron knew more about Muggle inventions.

Ron looked around the room. What is a pin? As he surveyed the room, his eyes landed upon McGonagall's bun behind her head. Those pointy things she stuck in her hair, they must be pins! "May I borrow some pins, Professor McGonagall?" asked Ron. "Harry needs some desperately."

In the mean time, Lavender, one of the bridesmaids, realized what happened and giggled. She whispered her amazing discovery into Parvarti's, another bridesmaid, ears. Soon, everyone in the church, whether they knew Harry personally or not, knew that the great Harry Potter had trouble zipping up his pants.

Ron returned with a dozen hair pins and left McGonagall with her hair down. "Here, Harry!"

"Thanks," sighed Harry wearily. "I think it's better if you find me a wand."

Finally, after a twenty minutes struggle, Harry turned back and took the ring and the paper from the minister.

"Hermione," mumbled Harry with his face still red from embarrassment and eyes still wide from shock, "I give you this ring as a symbol of our vows, and with all that I am, and all that I have, I honor you. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, With this ring, I thee wed."

The minister also gave Hermione Harry's ring and a piece of paper. "Please give this ring to your groom and read the words off the paper."

Hermione took a deep breath in order to relax herself. "Harry, I give you this ring as a symbol of our vows, and with all that I am, and all that I have, I honor you. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, With this ring, I thee wed."

"In as much as you have each pledged to the other your lifelong commitment, love and devotion, I now pronounce you husband and wife, in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Those whom God has joined together let no one put asunder. Harry, You may kiss your bride!" announced the minister as he stood back and waited for his favorite part.

The couple stared into each other's eyes in disbelief. They were married! They were husband and wife at last! After all those disasters, were they really and truly married? Or was it only a joke? Somehow, the Potters couldn't bring themselves to believe that they were actually married.

"Kiss the bride! What are you waiting for? Kiss the bride!" chanted the crowd.

Gently, Harry pulled Hermione close and his lips found hers.

The extremely exhausted Muggle minister dropped onto his knees as the couple kissed. "Thank God!" he praised the Lord just as he fainted and lay motionless on the floor.

The crowd behind them cheered. Mr. and Mrs. Granger hugged each other and shaded tears of joy. Their little Hermione was married. An outrageous wedding it might have been, still she had been married and now belongs to the most famous wizard of the century for the rest of her life.

Harry and Hermione were too into each other's kiss and the rest of the room was too excited and therefore failed to notice what the Weasleys twins were up to. The twins sneaked behind the kissing couple with a basket between them. They nodded and pulled out a rainbow colored banister, which they threw towards the Potters. The banister surrounded Harry and Hermione and began to twirl about them.

The banister twirled faster and faster until all the colors mixed. The banister certainly caught everyone's total attention. Just as everyone's eyes were on the twirling banister, it exploded.

A large amount of confetti burst from the exploded banister. Along with the confetti, was the bride's banquet. It soared through the air for a second and finally landed in Ginny's arms. Draco smiled as Ginny blushed. Lavender, Parvarti and many other young girls present glared enviously at Ginny for her good fortune.

"The Amazing Disappearance Wedding Banister brought to you by Weasley's Wizard Weezes!" shouted Fred (or was it George) at the top of his voice. "Brilliant for wanting to escape from the unwanted attentions after the wedding ceremony! Buy now with a 20 percent discount in celebration of Harry Potter's wedding!"

Indeed, as the banister exploded, Harry and Hermione had disappeared.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Harry and Hermione suddenly found themselves in a hotel room.

"How did we get here?" Hermione asked.

Harry looked around the room and found an envelope addressed to them. He picked it up and began to read the content.

"Dear Mr. and Mrs. Potter,
We know that, being Potters, you would have to face a lot of unwanted attention from all over the world. Therefore, we've designed a gift especially made to to suit you- The Amazing Disappearance Wedding Banister. We threw it around you just as the groom kissed the bride and it automatically take you to the honeymoon spot we've chosen for you- Hawaii. So now that the problem of you being too famous had been sorted, do enjoy your new life as a married couple.
Yours res'prankfully,
Fred and George Weasley
(Weasley's Wizard Weezes)"

Harry put down the card and hugged Hermione tight. "It's from Fred and George. Aren't they sweet?"

Hermione turned away from Harry and pretended to be angry. "Look at what you've done. We can't even have a quiet, peaceful wedding without your fame causing us all these disasters! We engaged in mud and it had been a disaster. Just as I had predicted, we married in water and our wedding was a catastrophe! And it's all you and your fame's fault. Had you not been the Boy-Who-Lived, nothing would have turned out like this. My parents' house is now full of birds and more wedding presents we can ever open...."

"Aw... Hermione!" pleaded Harry with puppy eyes. "You know how much I hate my own fame. It's something I can't help."

"Humph!"

Harry grinned and picked Hermione up. "In that case, I'll just have to kiss you and make you feel better." Harry gave her a light kiss and began to carry her towards the bed.

Hermione struggled as Harry carried her towards the bed. "No you don't!"

"Uh huh," answered Harry as he threw her on the bed. "We'll worry about the wedding catastrophe and the birds at your parents house when we get back. It'll probably be sorted by then anyway. Meanwhile, may I help you out of your dirty wedding dress?"

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**__The End__**

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