What I Never Knew

#Some people say, 'what you don't know can't hurt you.' Well, I know now more than I did yesterday, and it does hurt me. And even though I never knew it, it has hurt me almost my entire life.

Hermione Granger looked up from the parchment she was writing on and sighed. I decided to do this, now I will do this no matter what, Hermione thought. She looked back down at the parchment and began to write again.

The past seven years of my life have been the best I've ever known or will know. My friends, Harry and Ron, have always been there for me, and I have been there for them, through thick and thin, wonderful and horrible, tragic and hilarious. We love each other in a way I know nobody else who has ever graced this earth ever has. I love Harry and Ron so much that I would give my life for them. I owe it to both of them to tell the story that has led me to writing our story down. These are not the parts that I want them to know. These are the parts that need telling more then the battles or anything a history book might tell you. These are the parts of our collective lives that have shaped who we are and who we want to be. Everyone has these small encounters, and I am merely recording part of them.

Hermione's words drifted onto the page with ease, lulling her into a dark web of memories. She didn't start with what everyone would think... She didn't start at the beginning, but the end.

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Hermione sobbed into her pillow, hoping that tomorrow would come, and she wouldn't die from being overworked. Though she knew that as soon as all of the school work let up, she would have more time to worry about Harry. He had stopped talking to most everyone, even in Snape's classes. Snape had taken more points from Gryffindor than he had in all six years they had been in his class because Harry would not answer questions when called upon. He would respond only with 'yes' or 'no' when it was possible, and the rest of his sentences were clipped and harsh. Of course, this was to be expected ever since the mass of deaths that had occurred: The Grangers, the Weasley twins, Cedric, Sirius and the explosion at Hogsmeade that killed fourteen people including Madam Rosemerta. Each killing was because of Harry, to get to him, and somehow, Harry felt that he could have prevented it, though Hermione would never understand why.
Lavender had taken to coming into the room and bringing Hermione something to drink or eat when she was studying. A few times when she had heard Hermione crying at night, Lavender had crawled into bed with Hermione and held her. Hermione knew that Lavender meant well, though she half suspected that Lavender did it so that Hermione wouldn't keep her up at night. Either way, Hermione invited the closeness of it. She even ventured a few times to talk to Lavender, really talk. Hermione had told her of her troubles with Harry and the endless fights between Ron and Seamus. All Hermione wanted was peace.

"Hermione?" a voice ventured from the bed next to Hermione's. It was like a sweet, warm, dancing wind charm. Lavender. Hermione sniffled and let out a soft, "Mmmm?" She then heard the rustling of sheets as Lavender climbed out of bed and opened Hermione's bed curtains. Hermione half-wished she hadn't; she wasn't wearing much for pajamas. Though, at second glance, it didn't look like Lavender had much on either. Lavender climbed in without permission or hesitation. "You know, you shouldn't make it a habit to cry like this every night. It leaves dark patches under your eyes, and you look like the walking dead."

"Thank you, Lavender, for making me feel oh so much better," but Hermione didn't have a biting tone in her voice. She did appreciate the fact that Lavender cared about her appearance at least. But then again, she could just be worried about what other people think of who she associates herself with. Why would Lavender care any more about her than she had to? Though Hermione shouldn't think that, Lavender had changed a lot since third and fourth year. She wasn't such an attention-seeking, popular beauty. She wanted her share of influence over what happened in the world's future and had made that evident by helping aid those in the Hogsmeade crisis. She was turning out to be a wonderful mediwitch student.

"I wasn't meaning it to be..." but Hermione cut her off quickly.

" I know you weren't. I'm just a bit tired of everything that is going on. Life in general, you know the deal. Urgh... And Harry today... I don't think I saw him eat one thing at any meal. He skipped out on lunch and went straight to the commons."

Lavender brushed a lock of hair that was stuck to Hermione's face with tears. It was an amazing gesture. Hermione had to give her a thankful half-smile. Lavender lay across the bed facing Hermione, looking at her, waiting for her to say something, but Hermione looked away. This was the part where Lavender was supposed to give out advice.

"As far as I know, worrying doesn't help anyone. Like the time I thought that I was... Well, never mind... But still, worrying never helped anyone that was depressed."

"You think I'm depressed?"

"I think Harry is depressed, though I'd say you could be borderline," Hermione raised her eyebrows at Lavender. "I'm kidding. All you are is stressed. Stop worrying. Life will get better before you know it."

"But how do you know that? How do you know that everything won't go spiraling downward? Harry could die at any moment..."

"We could all die at any moment. Just because he has this interesting scar on his forehead doesn't really make him any less of a human. He could die, and yes it would be tragic, but that doesn't mean we should treat him as if he's on his death bed. Really, the way you and Ron treat him, you would think he was a time bomb." Lavender rolled over onto her stomach and brought her feet up behind her. "If you could possibly stop thinking so much about him and start worrying about things that take your mind off of him instead, then you could be better. Sometimes, acting like an air head isn't so bad, Hermione."

At this, Hermione snorted with laughter. Lavender had her days of being an air head, but Hermione understood what she was trying to say. Hermione wiped her eyes on the back of her hand and sniffled again. She looked at Lavender and smiled.

"Stop and smell the roses, right?"

"That's the only way to live, honey." With that, Lavender got up off the bed, quickly pecked Hermione on the head with a kiss, and leaped into her own bed. Hermione looked around her bed and finally decided that she had had enough worrying for the day. She fell asleep quietly.