Am I Going Crazy? - Ron's Dream Diary

Divination, Lesson Three

Exercise: Switch diaries with your partner and interpret his most recent dreams

Dream Interpretation

By Harry Potter

Dream 1:

Important facts:

Numerology:

Age + date of dream + letters in subject = 15 + 8 + 9 + 3 = 35

3 + 5 = 8

8 = success, fairness, ambition

Interpretation:

Ron, how does this dream show any of this? I give up. This is just weird. I can't see anything in it. Oh well, I'll give it a try. It's better when I interpret your funny dreams than when Trelawney interprets mine.

Cats are ambitious creatures (are they really?). So when you turn into a cat it shows your ambition (haha). Your ambition is clear: you want a mate. Crookshanks represents the mate but you'll never get him. (What was the bit about success again?)

Sorry Ron, this just doesn't make sense. Are you sure this is a normal dream?

Dream 2:

Important facts:

Numerology:

Age + date of dream + letters in subject = 15 + 7 + 9 + 8 = 39

3 + 9 = 12

1 + 2 = 3

3 = Growth, creativity, expression, cheerfulness

Interpretation:

Ah, well, the aspect of growth is your growing feelings towards Lavender. No, Lavender just represents all girls. Ron is growing up! (Haha) Obviously you are cheerful and glad, who wouldn't be? How was the kiss? And maybe you're quite creative, too, I mean with kissing techniques.

Maybe this dream foreshadows the future. You are growing up and need a girl to become a man (Ickle Ronniekins a man!). There will be one who loves and kisses you. And it's also an expression of your true feelings.

Do you really like Lavender???

Dream 3:

Important facts:

Numerology:

Age + blablabla = 15 + 6 + 9 + 9 = 39 (again)

Ok, it's a 3, which means growth, creativity, expression, cheerfulness

Interpretation:

I hate Divination. This is so stupid.

I can't see or feel any cheerfulness in this dream. I mean, Gryffindor is losing! There's no growth unless you count the Slytherins' points which are kind of growing. You certainly show creativity because those rings normally don't wander around.

I don't want to know what this dream might mean... Maybe it means that you are just too creative when thinking about Quidditch matches? So your self-esteem has to grow and... er... no idea...

Well, sorry Ron, I think this means you somehow will have bad luck with Quidditch (but don't ask me how this matches the "3"!) and that the scores you let in will keep growing.

But don't be afraid, it's only Divination. If I had dropped dead every time Trelawney has predicted it I'd be a sort of an extra-concentrated ghost by now. Oh no, she's turning towards me...

Dream Diary

Week 2

Well, thanks a bunch, Harry, for these great interpretations! So, I've no chance of winning the house cup but will end up with Lavender (urgh) instead, but I won't find my real mate. Ah yes, I'm ambitious and creative, great. I just hope this is only Divination.

I don't like this dream diary thingy at all. I know Harry's my best mate but these are my dreams and they are a bit, well, weird, you know. I'm sure he's laughing at me. Maybe I should just make them up again?

Monday, September 10^th

Tonight I dreamt about... about anything? Nothing?

I can't think of anything. I reckon I'll just have to write down the real dreams then. And don't you dare to make fun of me, Harry Potter - otherwise I'll call the old hag to interpret your dreams, just like today. You will die! Be scared.

Ok, my first dream was about Transfiguration. It was a bit scary. McGonagall taught us human Transfiguration. I was partnered with Neville. We had to turn each other into a monkey. It was my turn first and I tried and tried but Neville didn't change a bit. It just didn't work. And suddenly when I tried to say that damn difficult spell again I didn't get out a single word. It was just a grunt. Then everyone started laughing because I had pointed the wand at myself and transfigured myself. McGonagall swept over and told me I was a genius and an Animagus. Hermione got narky and said I hadn't changed at all.

Well, being an Animagus would be really cool. Just imagine: being able to turn into a great black dog like Sirius does. But being a monkey would be kind of stupid. I wonder why it had to be a monkey? I'm not Crabbe or Goyle, I have brains.

Then I had a funny dream about Dobby, the house elf. Someone had given a wand to him and he threw the Bat-Bogey-Hex at Umbridge, the hag. She looked a lot better with these things all over her face! Dobby squeaked quite evilly and told her in his high pitched voice: "This is for putting Harry Potter in detention!" Then she tried to put Dobby in detention and to supervise the house elves. But she didn't succeed because suddenly all of them had wands and hexed her into oblivion. Afterwards they had a party for Harry. We were invited, too, and got loads of food! It was great!

I wonder if this could really happen. Umbridge is horrible. This would be a cool way to get rid of her. Maybe we can lure her down to the kitchen?

Tuesday, September 11^th

Tonight I dreamed of Number 12, Grimmauld Place. I hate that house. First I was stuck at the staircase, staring at these bloody elves' heads which are pinned up there. It's not a nice view, if you ask me. They had such grim, ugly faces!

I kept exploring the house and ended up in one of these rooms we cleaned with Sirius, the one with that tapestry. "The noble and ancient house of Black", that was it. I watched it closely and then my heart did kind of a jump though I don't really know why. I turned around and started searching for something (but don't ask me what "something" was, I don't remember it at all!). I threw everything out of the cupboards along the wall, the silver plates, photos, glasses and dark objects. When the cupboards were empty I still hadn't found anything. I started rummaging in the piles of rubbish on the floor but whatever it was that I was searching for, I couldn't find it. Just when I turned to the next pile, an ugly, scary face appeared next to mine, snarling and complaining. I screamed in fear and woke up.

It was Kreacher, that face! I'm positive it was him, he said something about blood traitors. Somehow I know this face... I don't mean from holidays. I have the feeling I've seen it recently. But where? I don't get it. Maybe I'm too stupid to interpret my dreams correctly. OK, interpreting my dreams is Harry's job. I really hope I'm just dreaming weird stuff. This doesn't seem realistic at all.

Wednesday, September 12^th

Tonight, I dreamt about the past. It was when I was small, long before I came to Hogwarts. I was in our garden, playing with my toy broom and scoring goals through some hoops I had built. I couldn't fly terribly high or fast on this broom but I was happy.

Then Fred and George appeared. They took me off my broom and promised me some fun. I was so stupid! I followed them. Well, you could see by the looks on their faces that they were up to no good. We hid in the broom shed, as we often did when we were up to something. George had nicked Bill's wand and we played with it, shooting sparks and such things, saying some spells we had invented ourselves. Then the twins suddenly asked me if I wanted to be member of their mischievous duo. They said we could become the troublesome trio. I agreed. As a child I always wanted to be part of their team. But they never let me in, I was always stuck with Ginny. She's alright, but she's a girl and I never fancied playing family with her dolls and play wands.

They wanted me to make a vow. They said this was a condition to enter their secret society. I placed my right hand between Fred's and George's right hands, and they took the wand, holding it in all our entwined hands.

"Will you do whatever we ask you to do?" Fred asked me. Before I had answered my dad stormed in and grabbed the wand. Sparks were shooting out of it, and there was a crash of thunder which made me wake up.

Well, the thunder was real, anyway: there was a storm tonight. I wonder why I dreamt about that. I must have been about six years old when it happened. My lovely brothers tried to get me to make an Unbreakable Vow. I'd have died if I hadn't done everything they said. Fortunately Dad caught us, I've never seen him this angry again. Fred says his left buttock has never felt the same since.

Thursday, September 13^th

Tonight I dreamed about History of Magic. Don't laugh! I really did but I have no idea why. I'm not Hermione!

It was boring. Binns told us something about goblins and I fell asleep after a few minutes.

Have you ever dreamed about sleeping? It's scary. Nothing happens, you just feel yourself lying there...

Then the scenery changed, I don't know if it was just a new dream or if I dreamt that I dreamt. This sounds cool, doesn't it? I dreamt about dreaming - nutters!

I was somewhere outside and heard screams and sounds like people fighting. They sky was illuminated by the spells flying from wands. Girls were screaming. Lupin duelled with a huge Death Eater. Someone was stretched out on the ground, not moving - I hope it wasn't anyone of the Order. It was horrible. I was searching for Harry, somehow I knew he had to be there. Finally I spotted him, he was battling someone who must have been You-Know-Who himself. I didn't see his face, I only saw them from behind. Harry was in great danger, I rushed towards them and prepared myself to attack that - that - er, man? from behind. I took out my wand to disarm him, but before I could even think the spell, something white started falling down from the skies and built a wall around them. I could still hear them, I heard Harry groan and could hear him fighting for his life, but I couldn't get towards them. The wall couldn't be destroyed or transfigured or charmed or anything! I panicked, but then I got a wonderful idea. The white stuff looked a lot like rice pudding. Suddenly there was a spoon in my hand, I tried it and it really was rice pudding. So I started eating and eating and all the others joined me and we were eating together, but just when we had dug a hole I woke up.

This sounds crazy. Maybe I'm going mad? I wonder if the others have dreams like this. Fighting You-Know-Who by eating rice pudding. I must be mad. Why can I never have any normal dreams? Like, about school and Quidditch. Or some useful ones which foreshadow the future. I would really like to know who my future wife is. Or the questions in our OWLs! That would be useful. But this crap is just getting on my nerves. I don't want to think about what Harry will see in this next Monday.

Friday, September 14^th

Damn! I don't remember any dreams. Now I have to make some up. Where's my creativity when I need it?

Tonight I dreamed about... Eating? No, I had this last night. What could I possibly dream about? It needn't make sense, just something to write down. Oh, now I know. I dreamt about Quidditch. It was the last game of the Quidditch season and we still had a chance to win the trophy. I guarded my hoops in a masterly fashion and didn't let the Quaffle in. Finally our Seeker got the Snitch and we celebrated our victory. I was the Gryffindor hero!

This sounds cool. I hope it turns out true. I'm not the best Keeper in the world, to tell the truth. Sometimes I think I even get worse from practice to practice. Maybe I should resign from the team? I'm just too bad for the house team.

Well, this dream is a bit short, but I can't make anything up anymore, I've run out of ideas. This had to be enough. And there aren't any death signs!

Saturday, September 15^th

I wish I hadn't said these things about my future wife...

Tonight I dreamed about my wedding. Yes, it's true. I, Ronald Bilius Weasley, dreamed about my wedding. I was joking! I'm not interested in my future wife at all. But the worst thing about it is that I didn't even get to see her. First I didn't really notice it was my wedding. I was wearing some dress robes and was waiting for something with Harry by my side. We didn't talk but just stared at the floor. Then we set off and he dragged me with him. It was quite annoying, but I let him, I don't know why. When we ended up in front of the altar I suddenly realized that it was a wedding and that I was the groom. Horror! And somehow I didn't know who I was about to marry. So I waited for the bride. It was quite exciting, I can tell you. But she wore a veil and I couldn't see her face or her hair at all! I was really disappointed. Then the priest started his sermon and I had to listen and couldn't take the veil away. Finally he told me to kiss the bride and I got up and started removing the veil, but there were even more veils under it and only moments before I saw her face I woke up.

I can't believe it! I dreamt about my own wedding but I don't know whom I'll marry. It's pathetic. And it's so useless. I wonder who was under the veil. It must have been someone who wasn't in the church. Wait, who wasn't in the crowd?

I don't remember seeing Lavender. Stop, that was another dream. I don't know why I came up with her. I wouldn't invite her to my wedding anyhow. Parvati wasn't there either. Well, I wouldn't invite her either.

When I try to imagine the guests in my head I only see men. And my mum. Damn. This dream wasn't any help at all.

Well, I don't want to know it anyways. I'm fifteen years old. Why would I marry?

Sunday, September 16^th

Only two more weeks until I can finally throw this diary into where it belongs. I'm so looking forward to this sad moment of saying good-bye.

Tonight I dreamed about Umbridge again. I can't stand her toad-like face. It's really enough seeing it in the lessons, why does she turn up in my dreams, too? She took over the school and stopped all lessons. This would have been quite nice (I hope Hermione doesn't read this.) if she hadn't started singing lessons instead. Yes. Singing lessons. I hate singing. I can't sing. My voice sounds like a giant's grunts when I try to squeeze out a tone. The song was about hating Harry Potter. Malfoy had a solo. Ha. How pathetic! Harry went bonkers and hexed Umbridge into oblivion. The teachers returned and gave him an award for special services to the school. Unfortunately they restarted the lessons...

OK, it's settled. I am going mad. Am I not? I don't know. All this stuff is so weird. It's certainly not foreshadowing anything except my residence in St. Mungo's permanent ward. I have read Harry's dream diary and his dreams are ordinary and boring. Why is it me who dreams all these funny things? We don't have any Seer blood in our family at all. Apart from which, these dreams aren't even showing anything. Maybe I should go to Madam Pomfrey?