Legacy of the Marauders

Chapter Sixteen The Velveteen Rabbit

"Well, there was a-"

"Hold on! All good stories start with 'once upon a time," Sirius insisted.

Knowing it was wisest not to argue, Remus began again, "Once upon a time there was a little boy and-"

"I thought this was about a bunny," whined Peter.

"It is," Remus reassured. "But there's a boy in it too."

James inquired, "Are there any glass slippers?"

"No, that's just Cinderella," remarked Remus.

"Aw," James moaned in disappointment

The werewolf ignored James and went on, "On Christmas day the boy-"

Sirius demanded, "Isn't this an Easter story?"

Remus took a deep breath and mentally counted to ten; they were beginning to irritate him. "It's about a rabbit, not Easter. That's what you lot said you wanted, remember?"

"Oh yeah! I forgot."

"Can I continue now?"

"Of course."

"Are you going to keep interrupting?"

"Of course."

"Then I won't finish."

"You must. If you don't I'll tell Saphy your deepest, darkest secret."

"She already knows that I'm a werewolf."

"I mean your other secret."

Remus gasped in horror, "You wouldn't!"

James chimed in, "Yep, we'll let Sapphire know that you sing Elvis song in your mum's tulip garden if you don't finish."

"Fine, I'll tell you the rest," he muttered. "The boy got a velveteen rabbit from Santa."

"But You-Know-Who killed Santa, didn't he?" Peter queried in a forlorn tone.

Sirius and James broke into song, "Grandma got run over by a reindeer,
Walking home from our house Christmas Eve.
You may say there's no such thing as Santa.
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe!"

"Really? That's so sad!" Peter sobbed uncontrollably for twenty minutes, and even fell off of his bed. He only stopped his weeping when James made him laugh by juggling Sirius and Remus. (Don't ask me how James could juggle two seventeen year-old boys, because I haven't the slightest clue.)

All of the Marauders returned to the edge of their own beds and Remus resumed his storytelling as if Peter's outburst had never occurred. "The little boy loved that rabbit, so he brought it with him everywhere. If he was playing outside, reading, sleeping, or eating the rabbit was with him because-"

Sirius interjected with a sly smirk on his face, "When he was eating what?"

"Breakfast, lunch, or dinner. I meant 'eating' in the literal sense of the word."

"That's how I meant it too," replied Sirius in false innocence.

The lycanthrope rolled his eyes. "Anyway, where was I?"

James informed straight-faced, "You were about to give us all ten galleons."

"I was not, I...Now I remember: because the boy loved the rabbit so much it became real to him. Then it could love the boy back and there was nothing it enjoyed more than to be held tightly in the boy's arms, even though that meant its fur no longer had a silky shine."

"Stuffed animals are not real," scoffed James.

"They are to the child that owns them," Remus commented through clenched teeth. His friends were getting on the last of his large amount of patience. Why can't they just let me tell the story? he thought desperately.

Because then they wouldn't be them, a voice inside Remus' mind answered, a voice he didn't recognise.

Who are you?

The voice that recites advertisements in Peter's head. I haven't been mentioned since chapter three. The author didn't think I'd be coming up again, but here I am! How could she make such a dumb mistake? She's a total candle!

I always tell James and Sirius not to call the Slytherins that and you shouldn't call her that either. I think she's nice.

Really? But she's obsessed with you. She wants to be with you every second of eternity, marry you, and bear your children.

That's ridiculous. If she felt that way why wouldn't she write herself in as my girlfriend instead of making up Sapphire?

Because she's mental.

Be quiet.

Well, she is!

I know, but please quit insulting her. As the writer, she controls our fate.

Can I insult you instead?

Uh...no.

Why not?

You're supposed to be an advertising voice, not an insulting one.

Hmm, I guess I can't argue with you there. There was a pause followed by a commercial jingle: Here's a jingle for Goldfish.
Yes, baked and not fried Goldfish!
The wholesome snack
That smiles back
Until you bite their heads off!
Did you know they're made with real cheese
Even though they look like fishes?
The snack that smiles back! Goldfish!

Remus clapped courteously.

Sirius, James, and Peter stared at him.

"I was applauding the advertising voice," explained Remus.

"You stole my voice!" Peter accused, lunging at Remus. "Give it back! I'm so lonely without it."

You'd better go back to Wormtail.

I don't like him. He's boring.

If the author does love me she won't let him strangle me. She'll make you go back.

Hmm, I guess I can't argue with you there. The voice returned to Peter's dull brain, thus Peter got off of Remus and went onto his bed again.

"That was weird," muttered Sirius.

"So is your face," James teased.

"Oh yeah? Well, can I borrow your face because my arse is going on holiday?" retorted Sirius.

"GUYS, LET ME FINISH TELLING THE BLOODY STORY!" Remus shouted; the poor bloke's last nerve had finally shattered.

"Moony just swore! It's a sign of the apocalypse!" Sirius cried. He ran around the dorm screaming until he crashed into the wall with an echoing boom, which seemed to calm him down. "I'm all right now. What happened next?"

Remus had regained his typical calm composure. "There's a happy or a sad ending depending on what version you read. Which one do you want?"

James responded instantly, "Sad."

"The boy gets sick and his germs get all over the rabbit, so the mum burns it in a fire."

"Cool!" James and Sirius exclaimed.

Peter whimpered.

Smiling gently at Peter, Remus said, "In the happy version a fairy comes and turns the velveteen rabbit into a real rabbit."

"Yay!" Peter beamed.

Sirius and James moaned.

"Good night." Remus snuggled into his blankets, relieved the tale was over.

"You didn't say 'the end," Sirius protested.

"The end."

The Marauders drifted into sleep and the potion began its work.