Legacy of the Marauders

Chapter Thirteen Bobasmeel

A scream echoed throughout the room. "Bobasmeel!"

"What's a bobasmeel?" James groggily inquired.

"It's a word I just invented," Lily replied.

"Why would you invent a word?"

"Because, Potter, I don't like swearing, but a swear word seemed necessary right now."

Potter? I thought she was calling me James now...Something must be wrong. He rubbed the sleepiness from his eyes and looked at her. Her emerald eyes were wide with worry. For a moment he had to struggle not to get lost in those beautiful eyes so he could ask, "What's the matter?"

"Tell me you remember what we did last night," Lily pleaded.

He leaned back, straining to recall. It hurt to think. That's when he realised that his head throbbed painfully even if he didn't think. "We got drunk after the party, which explains why my head feels like it got stepped on by a giant." Glancing around the room he said in confusion, "I do remember that the party was in the common room, so why are we in the Room of Requirement?" He knew what room it was because even though the contents of the room changed the unique cheese-patterned wallpaper remained the same.

Although, Lily had no idea where it was, she'd heard of the Room of Requirement. "I don't know, but I'm more concerned with why we required this." She gestured to the bed that the two of them were lying in. The sheets were tangled together and wrinkled, as if they had seen a great amount of physical activity, yet they still covered the bodies of the couple up to their shoulders.

James gulped nervously when his gaze fell upon the sheets. "One of us is going to have to check and see what state of decency, if any, we're in."

After taking a deep breath she quietly volunteered, "I'll do it." Lifting the sheet slightly she peaked underneath it and dropped it almost instantly, her face pale.

"We're not wearing anything, are we?" he asked anxiously.

Slowly, very slowly, Lily shook her head.

"Bobasmeel," muttered James.

There was a silence. An awkward silence. A long awkward silence. A pathetically long awkward silence.

"Maybe we're jumping to conclusions. Maybe nothing happened," said James hopefully, breaking the pathetically long awkward silence. It wasn't that he didn't desire to make-love to Lily, when he was truthful with himself he knew that it was quite the opposite, but if they did he wanted to be certain that Lily would have no regrets about it and he definitely didn't want them to be too drunk to recall it.

"Are you saying that a couple winds up nude in the same bed because they didn't have sex?" Lily's disbelief was obvious.

"It's just that we don't remember, so we could have been doing something else," James insisted, though he did not believe it himself.

Lily suddenly appeared happy for the first time that morning. She leaned over the edge where her garments were in a pile and began searching through them. She laughed.

"What's so funny?"

"This just reminded me of a pick-up line: that outfit you're wearing would look good in a crumpled heap next to my bed."

James chuckled. "My mates and me made a list of pick-up lines once."

"Really? I love them! Most of them never work and are super hilarious."

"What's your favourite?"

"Um, probably: I couldn't help but notice that you look a lot like my next girlfriend." She cried, "I found it!"

"My mind?"

"No, that's beyond finding, James. I found my vial of Memory-Enhancing Draught."

"Why do you have that?"

"I dunno. I guess the crazy author needed me to randomly have it for the plot."

(All readers gasp, "There's a plot?!")

"That makes sense," James reasoned, conjuring two cups. While he had his wand out he magicked the clothes off of the floor onto their owners.

Lily smiled gratefully at him and emptied half of the draught into her cup and the other half into his. They poured the bitter liquid down their throats. The effect of the drink was almost identical to being in a pensieve. James and Lily watched their past selves drink the remaining alcohol and begin snogging on the common room floor. (Minerva's Note: To avoid confusion the "past selves" shall be referred to as Prongs ad Lils, while the regular sober ones are still called James and Lily.)

As their kisses became more heated with passion Prongs jumped off of Lils all of a sudden and declared, "I have a great idea!"

"Which is?" asked Lils. Lily was surprised at how slurred her words sounded.

"Just come with me," urged Prongs. He helped Lils to her feet and she obediently followed him out of the portrait hole, closely tailed by James and Lily.

Prongs walked with his back against the wall and sharply turned corners holding his hands in the shape of a gun like a secret agent.

"What are you doing?" laughed Lils.

"Sneaking up on my enemy," answered Prongs. Boldly, he strutted up to one of the suits of armor in the corridor. "So, Knight, you thought I'd let you get away with it, did you?"

Lils scratched her head in bewilderment. "What did he do?"

"He stole you from me," replied Prongs dramatically.

"Oh, now I know what you mean." Lils cottoned on to Prongs' game, and darted over to hold the armor's hand.

"Well, Evil Knight, I challenge you to a duel for having an affair with my lovely flower." Prongs paused. "Fine then!" He faced Lils. "The knight wants you to either choose him or me."

Looking back and forth between Prongs and the suit of armor, she responded, ""I'm sorry, but I cannot resist his sexiness. I'll miss you."

"Wait! What if I turn into something metal too, a Muggle thing, like an airplane?" Spreading his arms to look like wings, Prongs ran around the room making mechanical noises.

James sighed, "I act weird when I'm drunk."

"That isn't going to work," Lils informed, wrapping her arms around the knight.

Prongs fell to his knees and uncharacteristically begged, "Tell me what I have to do to get you back. I'll do anything. I'll even chicken dance with a notebook!"

"I'm really weird when I'm drunk," stated James.

"You have to seduce me away from him," said Lils, as though this should have been obvious.

"How do I do that?" asked Prongs.

Please, dear Merlin, don't let me have told him how, prayed Lily silently.

"It's very easy," Lils assured. "Because I'm strongly attracted to you already. In fact, I have dreams about you where we have x-rated fun."

"You do?" inquired Prongs.

"You do?" James inquired to Lily, but she was not listening.

"When I get wasted I am a complete whore!" Lily cried. "I mean, look at the way I'm groping that stupid suit of armor and 'x-rated fun' is such a slutty term!"

James glanced at Lils. She was embracing the knight a bit too intimately, but "groping" was defintely an exaggeration. "Flower, you're overreacting," he pointed out honestly, hugging Lily to calm her down.

"Oh, of course," Lils was saying. "Anyway, to turn me on look into my eyes while holding me against you. Then caress my back and kiss my neck." A hiccup erupted from her, emphasizing how much she'd had to drink.

Bobasmeel, thought Lily. How could I have told him ALL of my turn ons? She looked at James to see his reaction. He was watching with interest as Prongs promptly did what Lils instructed. Lils melted in his hands like butter and Prongs had to hold her tightly to prevent her from collapsing to the floor.

"Okay, you can take me back from the knight. You can do whatever you want with me," Lils murmured, clearly too weak with desire to speak any louder or say anymore.

Prongs beamed, took her hand, and pulled her down the hallways eagerly.

As they rushed after them James queried, "Does that turn you on when you're sober too?"

"What difference does it make?" demanded Lily defensively, face flushed.

"Just wondering." A small smile tugged at the corners of James' mouth, though his smile faded. "You might not be too happy with me in a moment." He gestured to the door of the Room of Requirement that had appeared and Prongs and Lils went through it, accidentally leaving it slightly ajar. "Because if a couple has sex the guy almost always gets blamed."

"I noticed that. Why is that?"

"Dunno."

"I'll be abnormal and not blame it all on you, okay? Especially since I was acting like a slut."

Firmly, James said, "Lily, as far as we know you're still a virgin. Have you ever heard of a virginal slut?"

She laughed while she shook her head.

"By the way," he continued, "thanks for being abnormal."

"My pleasure. I'm also strange, weird, odd, atypical peculiar, bizarre, unearthly, unusual, and freaky."

Before James could respond they heard Lils giggle, "This feels good! Why haven't we done this before?"

There was a loud creak of bedsprings when Prongs answered, "Aside from the fact that you hated me? I never brought it up because I was afraid you'd think it was a bad idea."

Lily and James involuntarily cringed.

"Should we go in?" asked James.

"Might as well," replied Lily. "The effects of the draught won't stop till we fall asleep."

Nodding gravely, James remarked, "Let's see what trouble we got ourselves into."

As they gaited through the open door they heard Prongs say, "That was great! Do it again!" Then they witnessed Lils obligingly leap off the bed, tumble in midair, and land on the floor on her feet. Prongs clapped.

Shocked, Lily breathed, "That's why we needed a bed? To jump on?!"

"Seems that way," concurred James in relief.

"But then why do we wind up naked?" pondered Lily, puzzled.

James did not know the answer, thus he said naught and contented himself with watching Prongs and Lils do acrobatics that they hadn't ever known themselves capable of.

After precisely forty-seven minutes and nineteen seconds Lils commented, "All of this exercise is making me sweaty."

Prongs sniffed his armpits.

"That's it, I act beyond weird when I'm drunk," muttered James.

"Hey, I'm sweaty too!" Prongs told Lils as if it was the most spectacular news in the world.

"Well, there aren't any showers in here, so what do we do about it?" asked Lils.

"We won't be hot if we take our clothes off," stated Prongs practically.

"You're right."

"No, I'm left."

"Oh, sorry." Lils' voice was momentarily muffled as she pulled her shirt over her head.

Lily and James immediately turned their backs on their past selves and looked determindly at the floor whilst they blushed.

Prongs and Lils threw each other's shoes so they ricocheted off the walls. One of Prongs' hit the door, causing it to shut. Eventually, they became bored of this.

"Ready to go to sleep?" Prongs suggested.

Lils nodded; they climbed under the sheets and drifted into dreamland almost instantly.

Everything became hazy and suddenly James and Lily found themselves back in the morning from whence they had come.

"That was, er, interesting," said Lily.

"Yeah, it sure was," James agreed. "I just want to know one thing."

"What's that?"

James gazed into her eyes. He slipped his arms around her waist and eased her body against his own. His hands slid along her back and through her crimson hair as his warm breath and soft lips brushed her neck lightly. With their bodies touching he could feel her heart beat faster and her knees weaken. "So it does turn you on," James noted with satisfaction. "That's all I wanted to know." Gently, he released her from his embrace.

After taking a few deep breaths to return her heart rate to normal Lily questioned sharply, "Yes, it does, and what are you planning on doing with that knowledge?" She was relieved, embarrassed, turned on, and irritated all at the same time. It was an intruiging combination of emotions to say the least.

"Nothing now, but when the time comes it'll be useful," he replied cheerfully.

"You are so terrible," Lily scolded affectionately. She liked it when he was seductive, however, she never would have admitted it even under the horrifying threat of watching soap operas.

"I know, but you don't get to be a Marauder by being well behaved," James reminded her, still grinning.

"Misbehavers get punished."

"Are you going to punish me, my lovely flower?"

"Absolutely." She smiled wickedly. "I'm going to make your hair tidy."

James ran from the room screaming in terror.

Lily laughed and chased him around the entire castle.