- Rating:
- G
- House:
- Riddikulus
- Genres:
- Humor
- Era:
- Multiple Eras
- Spoilers:
- Philosopher's Stone Chamber of Secrets Prizoner of Azkaban
- Stats:
-
Published: 09/28/2001Updated: 09/28/2001Words: 322Chapters: 1Hits: 789
The Invisibility Cloak's Rant
METMA Mandy
- Story Summary:
- The invisibility cloak has had a bit of a bad life ever since he's been owned by Harry... here is his story!
- Posted:
- 09/28/2001
- Hits:
- 789
- Author's Note:
- Another of my objects who talk back fics! The invisibility cloak shares his misfortune!
***
I always feel so neglected. Like nobody can see me, or cares about me...I guess that's because I'm invisible. Yep, old reliable invisibility cloak, always there to help you out by letting you break the rules yet another time. Has Harry ever thanked me, though? You'd think all the practical jokes, adventures, and life-threatening trials would earn me some recognition, wouldn't you?
You can't imagine the number of times Harry has nearly spilled pumpkin juice (which NEVER comes out!) on me, or stepped on me, or let me get into someone ELSE's possession. Aren't I important enough to keep track of? The brief moment that greasy git Snape wore me I nearly passed out. Only one person smells worse than him. The horrifying, terrible deodorant smell. The smell of crushed eggs and the bathroom after your aunt has used it. Ronald Weasley.
Ugh. Does THAT kid need a bath! You'd think Harry would keep his smelly little friend out from under me. You'd also think he'd have read the special guide book that came with me...you know, the one that says (and I quote) "MAXIMUM OCCUPANCY: 2 PERSONS." Now, correct me if I'm wrong here (hey, its been a while since school) but Hermione, Harry AND Ron equals THREE! And that Ron is tall enough for two!
*sigh* Even THAT wouldn't be TOO bad, if Harry wasn't constantly out BREAKING THE RULES! When I was in training, I was school hallway monitor! NO coat (or, in many cases, handkerchief, shirt, or bra) got away with breaking the rules during MY fearsome reign. It must have been some sort of cruel joke, then, to land me with the boy who grabs rules and stomps on them with a two ton elephant wearing a ballet tutu.
Ah...speak of the devil! I wonder what terrible jest Harry has thought up THIS time? Oh ... dear... Invisible God ... he's got Ron with him...
***
I always feel so neglected. Like nobody can see me, or cares about me...I guess that's because I'm invisible. Yep, old reliable invisibility cloak, always there to help you out by letting you break the rules yet another time. Has Harry ever thanked me, though? You'd think all the practical jokes, adventures, and life-threatening trials would earn me some recognition, wouldn't you?
You can't imagine the number of times Harry has nearly spilled pumpkin juice (which NEVER comes out!) on me, or stepped on me, or let me get into someone ELSE's possession. Aren't I important enough to keep track of? The brief moment that greasy git Snape wore me I nearly passed out. Only one person smells worse than him. The horrifying, terrible deodorant smell. The smell of crushed eggs and the bathroom after your aunt has used it. Ronald Weasley.
Ugh. Does THAT kid need a bath! You'd think Harry would keep his smelly little friend out from under me. You'd also think he'd have read the special guide book that came with me...you know, the one that says (and I quote) "MAXIMUM OCCUPANCY: 2 PERSONS." Now, correct me if I'm wrong here (hey, its been a while since school) but Hermione, Harry AND Ron equals THREE! And that Ron is tall enough for two!
*sigh* Even THAT wouldn't be TOO bad, if Harry wasn't constantly out BREAKING THE RULES! When I was in training, I was school hallway monitor! NO coat (or, in many cases, handkerchief, shirt, or bra) got away with breaking the rules during MY fearsome reign. It must have been some sort of cruel joke, then, to land me with the boy who grabs rules and stomps on them with a two ton elephant wearing a ballet tutu.
Ah...speak of the devil! I wonder what terrible jest Harry has thought up THIS time? Oh ... dear... Invisible God ... he's got Ron with him...
***
Author notes: Ha, couldn't resist the Ron bit... I kid cuz I love, you know that! Couldn't resist the bra bit either...