Circles of Influence

---------------- Chapter 6 Sunday 26th October

Draco was flipped out of sleep by the sound of scratching at his door, consciousness came like an injection of caffeine straight into the vein. He had turned around in his sleep and Harry had followed him, his body wrapping itself around Draco in a way Harry would never have consented to while awake. He was hard again... maybe it had never gone away, Harry was too and the hot length of him was pressed into Draco's backside through their pyjamas.

He heard the scratching at his door again and called out, "Hold on a minute, I'll be right there." He pulled himself away from Harry and shook the other boy awake. "Harry, it's Sirius."

"Hmm?" said Harry, obviously not experiencing the same instant awakening Draco had.

"You need to wake up, Sirius is here. Do you want to put on the Invisibility Cloak or is it all right if he knows you're here?"

Harry blinked and reached for his glasses. "Sirius?" he murmured, pulling himself into a sitting position. "Um... give me the cloak in case he's not alone."

Draco took the cloak from a chair and threw it over to Harry who caught it, stood up, and pulled it around him. When he was covered Draco opened the door.

Sirius padded in alone and Draco shut the door behind him. The dog sniffed at Draco and then the room in general before transforming back into a man. "You can take off the cloak, Harry," he said. "I know you're here."

Harry pulled the cloak off. "I wasn't hiding from you."

Sirius eyed his rumpled pyjamas. "Who were you hiding from?"

"I just wasn't sure if you'd be alone or not. McGonagall or someone could have been with you," Harry explained.

Sirius glanced around the room wondering what to do now. Finally he said, "I don't mean to be nosy, but you are my godson and I'd really like to know what's going on here."

"Nothing!" said Harry too quickly.

Draco rolled his eyes. "What Harry means is we were just sleeping," he assured Sirius, trying his best to look humble, trustworthy and open. It didn't come naturally. "It's..." he fished for an explanation that didn't involve the truth but couldn't find one. "We don't sleep well... at all, really... when we're alone."

"It's one of the reasons I got so out of it before," Harry said quietly. "I couldn't sleep, I hadn't slept for almost two weeks when I... you know, with the vodka and the knife."

"There are sleeping potions for that," Sirius pointed out.

Harry shrugged, embarrassed. "I didn't want to talk about it, I'd have had to talk about it if I went to get a potion from Madame Pomfrey."

Sirius sat down. "Why don't you boys get dressed and we can have some breakfast?" he suggested.

Draco headed into the bathroom first with a bundle of clothes under his arm, leaving Sirius and Harry alone.

Feeling awkward Harry went over to stare out of the window.

"So..." said Sirius, fishing for subtle and plonking for 'I really need to know this stuff now'. "How long have you and Draco been sleeping together?"

Harry spun around with his eyebrows raised.

"I need to know what's going on, Harry," Sirius said helplessly. "I'm lost. I have no idea what you feel for him, why you started seeing him, how he feels about you... I want us to be able to talk but if I don't know anything about what's going on then where the hell do I start? Last time I saw you he wasn't exactly your favourite person, or I got that impression anyway."

"He's changed since last year," said Harry. "A lot happened to him over the summer."

"So it's only been since this term?"

"Since the beginning of this month, I suppose..." Harry relaxed a little as he talked about how it had started. "I... when I saw him again at the beginning of term he seemed really different and I... I realised I found him attractive. Then he," Harry smiled slightly. "We were both out practicing on our brooms and he fell off, lost control during a steep dive. That was when we started talking. He was polite... pleasant... almost nice, I'd never seen him like that before. But really it was Hermione that got us together."

"Hermione?"

"First she decided to start being nice to Draco too, curiosity, you know how she is, and then she and Ron got into a fight about it and that just made her even more determined to be nice to Draco. Then when Hermione started bugging me about being gay I started hanging out with Draco more to get away from her and all the Gryffindor's fell out with me for being friends with him after he..." Harry trailed off.

"After he what?"

"He and Ron got into a fight and Draco hexed him," said Harry distantly, remembering the potion Draco had used on Harry to get him to forgive him for it. Not something he was going to tell Sirius about.

"I guess Ron got over it."

"Saving our lives pretty much did that, he still hated him up till then," Harry replied. "The only reason he and Hermione ended up in danger was that they snuck into our safe room so Ron could make sure Draco didn't kill me... actually I think he was more worried that we might... um... you know. He was pretty grossed out by the idea of us being... physical."

Sirius nodded thoughtfully. "Didn't stop you though," he commented carelessly.

Harry blushed and looked chagrined. "I guess not."

"Sorry," said Sirius. "I didn't mean to sound... disapproving."

"You are though, aren't you?" Harry said as if it was a given.

"I don't know," said Sirius. "Part of me says I've no right to be, it's none of my business and it's not like I wasn't as bad at your age. Another part is just... worried about you. If I was sure you knew what you're doing... but you don't seem to. You've always fallen on your feet before, Harry, but you seem to be in over your head this time and I don't really mean the physical stuff. I mean your behaviour lately."

Harry shrugged awkwardly. "I don't know why it did," he said. "Bad stuff has happened to me before and I always handled it. Maybe it's just a phase, you know... teenage hormones or something. Maybe I'd be this much of a mess no matter what was going on."

"Maybe," said Sirius, not sounding convinced.

Draco came back out of the bathroom, dressed, and they cut off their conversation. Harry realised then that he hadn't brought his clothes with him, he'd come down in his pyjamas and robe covered by the invisibility cloak. "I better go," he said. "I need to get dressed and I should probably eat in the Great Hall."

"It's Sunday, Harry," Sirius pointed out. "Unless things have changed a lot since my days here Sunday's were always fairly informal. Stay and have breakfast here, you can go and get dressed afterwards."

"I suppose so," Harry said and went into the bathroom to clean up.

Draco pulled the bed straight a little and sat down at the table in the corner. With a tap of his wand he notified the House Elves that he was ready for breakfast and the table was suddenly filled with enough food for the three of them.

"Amazing how they do that," Sirius noted, trying to start a conversation.

Draco looked at him questioningly.

"The food," he explained. "How did they know there were three of us?"

Draco shrugged elegantly. "I've never really thought about it."

"We never had house elves, my family. When I was eight I tried to steal one from my friends house so that it could tidy my room for me."

Draco smiled politely but he was obviously uncomfortable about something. "We always had house elves, but I'm sure you've guessed that."

Sirius nodded, fiddling with the teapot. "I know your family history. Have you... do you know what you're going to..."

"You want to know what I'm going to do now that my father is on the run?"

"Well, yes. I know it's none of my business..."

"I don't mind. I'm not sure what I'm going to do. Professor Dumbledore said I can spend Christmas at school but I received a letter from my mother asking me to join her for Christmas. She's moved out of the mansion and apparently the Aurors have decided she isn't under any suspicion." Draco eyed Sirius carefully, hoping his reactions might help him decide what to do about the situation with his mother.

"Do you think they're right?" asked Sirius.

Draco stared at him thoughtfully. "I don't know," he said finally. "I had assumed she was fully aware of what was going on, but... now I just don't know."

"It would be a huge risk to leave school over Christmas," Sirius cautioned him. "I'm sure Dumbledore would prefer you to stay here."

"I know, I expect I will stay here. Even if my mother is telling the truth, it's still too dangerous." Draco poured himself some tea. "It would have been nice though," he said quietly, almost to himself, as Harry came out of the bathroom and sat down at the table.

"What would have been nice?" he asked.

"Nothing important," said Draco.

----------------

That evening they all met with Professor Dumbledore to discuss the situation.

When Harry arrived he found Draco standing outside the office with Professor Snape.

"Sirius is inside with Professor Dumbledore and McGonagall," Draco explained.

Snape looked Harry over, the boy was as drawn and tense as Draco. Obviously the reconciliation was not going well. He hadn't spoken to Draco about it since yesterday afternoon but he, Dumbledore, McGonagall and Black had discussed the situation at length before he had gone to fetch Draco. It had not been an easy conversation. Professor McGonagall was of the opinion that the boys should be forcibly separated for proprieties sake and while he was inclined to agree for the simple reason that he found the concept of the two of them together quite revolting he had been forced to come down on Draco's side as the only one of the four that really knew what was going on. He had pointed out that keeping them apart against their will would lose them any trust they had and put Draco in greater danger if he were to try and sneak around to see Potter. He also had to begrudgingly note to them that the two weeks the boys had spent apart had done nothing but cause them pain, especially Potter who was clearly much weaker and far more unstable than Draco. Black had growled at that and implied that Snape only had Draco's best interests at heart... which was admittedly true. He had taken great pleasure in pointing out that he knew Potter far better than Black did so perhaps he should keep his mouth shut and he might just learn something. In the end Dumbledore had decided that their relationship would have to be worked out between the two boys with only guidance and not interference from their teachers. Black would make sure to talk to Potter on a regular basis, Snape would continue to talk to Draco and if they wanted to sleep in the same room then a blind eye would have to be turned for the time being. The safety of the two boys from Voldemort was of far more importance than their love lives.

On that front they had discussed Harry's letter from Voldemort, which Harry had told Black about over breakfast, and Draco's invitation to spend Christmas with his mother. The former was more ridiculous than worrying but the latter was of definite concern for Dumbledore had also received a letter from Mrs Malfoy. It had not requested but practically demanded Draco's presence in London for Christmas and as his mother and legal guardian she had the right to do so, the school could not keep Draco there against her wishes even if he didn't want to leave.

There was an even more urgent problem however, one that only he and Albus had discussed, Halloween was on Friday and he was supposed to deliver news of Draco's death and a freshly cut body part of his choice to whichever Death-Eater was going to meet him. They were desperate enough that they had even discussed staging Draco's death, but there were too many spells that could be used to prove the lie. The tentative plan was a faked attempt which would fail and then leave himself under too much suspicion to be able to try again. It would make him look a fool, but better a fool than a traitor to the cause.

They were called into Dumbledore's office.

-------------

Harry walked back to Draco's room under the invisibility cloak, tagged by Sirius in four-footed form. It had been an awkward discussion, unsurprisingly... awkward, tense and uncomfortable seemed to be a way of life these days. Sirius left him once he reached the door.

"Not exactly what I was expecting," Harry commented to Draco as he closed the door.

"They're more worried about our safety than about anything else, makes sense."

"I just thought... I can't believe they said it was okay for us to sleep together."

"They didn't," Draco pointed out. "In fact they said they didn't approve, they just implied that if we we're going to anyway could we do it in my room and make sure Sirius knows we're both here. They just don't want us sneaking around at night on our own."

"I suppose... maybe we should..."

"Don't start, Harry."

"I wish you would let me finish a sentence before you shut me down."

"I know what you're going to say, you're going to say maybe we shouldn't sleep together, even though we both want to, just because it makes a couple of teachers uncomfortable."

"They'll think we're..."

"I don't care what they think we're doing."

"Would you stop doing that!" Harry fumed.

Draco reached out and hooked him by the neck, pulling him against him and into a kiss. When he drew back he said firmly, "I. Don't. Care. What. They. Think."

"Well I do," said Harry sullenly, not pulling away. He touched Draco's cheek lightly, running his fingers down and over the other boy's slightly parted lips. They kissed again, softer. When they parted Harry rested his forehead in the crook of Draco's neck and let out a sigh. "I feel like I'm in some sort of tragic, fated love story. Those always end badly you know."

"The word tragic kind of requires them to," Draco answered. "Could be worse."

"How?"

"We could be forced to wear tights and converse in rhyming couplets."

Harry started to laugh, "Which one of us is Juliet then?" He straightened up and caught Draco's eyes. Something he hadn't done very often lately. "Shall I compare thee to a summers day?" he said lightly, unsuccessfully trying to hide adoration under sarcasm. "Thou art more lovely and more temperate."

"Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May, and summer's lease hath all too short a date," added Draco with a smile. "But that's not from Romeo and Juliet," he said, thinking that the words were unfortunately suited to their situation. Still, this moment was sweeter than anything they had shared lately. Harry seemed in an uncommonly relaxed mood, perhaps their teachers implicit permission that the relationship could continue had meant more to him than it had to Draco. "How about this... You frame my thoughts and fashion me within. You stop my tongue and teach my heart to speak. You calm the storm that passion did begin, strong through your cause, but by your virtue weak. Dark is the world, where your light shined never. Well is he born, that may behold you ever." Draco kissed him again as he blushed.

"Was that from Romeo and Juliet?" Harry asked.

"It wasn't Shakespeare at all, it's from a sonnet by Spenser," Draco replied.

"Read a lot of poetry?" Harry teased.

"More than you obviously. My mother used to make me learn sonnets and recite them for guests when I was younger."

"And I thought my home life was bad," Harry commented. "Do some more."

Draco rolled his eyes in mock irritation. "Of this world's theatre in which we stay, my love like the spectator idly sits. Beholding me that all the pageants play, disguising diversely my troubled wits," he said wryly, easily hiding the darker intent as he thought over the rest of that sonnet. All was not quite forgiven yet.

"Oh, come on," said Harry playfully, walking them over to the bed. "You can do better than that." He lay down on top of the blankets, looking up at Draco.

"When I all weary had the chase forsook," Draco quoted, sitting down on the bed. "The gentle dear returned the self-same way, thinking to quench his thirst at the next brook. There he beholding me with milder look, sought not to fly, but fearless still did bide. Till I in hand him yet half trembling took and with his own goodwill him firmly tied."

Harry shivered lightly at the images invoked. "You're too good at this," he said. "Was that Spenser too?"

"Yes," Draco said softly, stretching out facing Harry with one hand propping up his head. "This is Shakespeare though...

When in the chronicle of wasted time I see descriptions of the fairest wights And beauty making beautiful old rhyme In praise of ladies dead and lovely knights, Then, in the blazon of sweet beauty's best, Of hand, of foot, of lip, of eye, of brow, I see their antique pen would have expressed Even such a beauty as you master now. So all their praises are but prophecies Of this our time, all you prefiguring; And, for they looked but with divining eyes, They had not skill enough your worth to sing: For we, which now behold these present days, Have eyes to wonder, but lack tongues to praise."

Harry was blushing again. "I hardly think so," he laughed in self-deprecation. "You're much better looking than I am."

"I'll write you a sonnet of your very own," Draco promised, pulling Harry against him. "I always thought they were pretty but they didn't seem to hold much meaning until now. Just silly people making fools of themselves over love. I didn't think I was ever going to do that."

Something about that darkened Harry's expression and he stiffened slightly in Draco's arms. "Do you wish you hadn't?" he asked.

"What?"

"Got involved with me?"

Draco sighed and thought a moment. "For thy sweet love remembered such wealth brings that then I scorn to change my state with kings," he replied.

"More Shakespeare?"

Draco nodded.

Harry pressed his face into Draco's chest and let him wrap their limbs together.

"His gesture, motion and his smiles, his wit, his voice, my heart beguiles. Beguiles my heart, I know not why, and yet I love him till I die," Draco whispered in his ear.

"Enough poetry," Harry protested, unable to deal with anymore praise or protestations of love.

"You don't like it?"

"It's not that, it's beautiful..."

"You're beautiful."

"But I'm not."

Draco gave up and kissed him again, delighted by Harry's response. It seemed last night's setting of rules and today's tacit setting of permission had put Harry's mind at ease at least for now and Draco was more than willing to take advantage of that.

Harry relaxed and let Draco kiss him, let him wrap their bodies together. //I can stop it any time,// he thought. //If it goes too far, which it won't. Draco knows the rules, he promised.// It was so good to feel Draco against him again, so easy to let go and just enjoy his touch. The taste of him.

Harry rolled Draco over onto his back and began to lay kisses over his face. He rubbed his cheek against Draco's, luxuriating in the sensations he had been denying himself access to. It was so good to just relax and not worry about it for a little while.

Draco flipped him over and pinned his arms above his head, for a moment they looked at each other and Harry thought he could see worry in Draco's eyes but before he could look harder Draco was kissing him again. He moved down to bite hard at Harry's neck and then onto tiny nips with his teeth. With each small twist of Harry's skin a tremor ran lightly through his body. Draco's tongue ran lightly over each red bite mark. He was holding Harry's wrists lightly in one hand now.

"This is okay?" he asked breathlessly as he paused at the top button of Harry's robes.

"Um," Harry tried to throw his mind back into gear. "I... not... not below the waist."

"I know, I promise." With that Draco swiftly began unbuttoning Harry's robes down to his waist. He pushed them open and jerked Harry's vest up and over his head, leaving his arms still tangled in cloth.

Draco bent forward to taste the skin at the base of Harry's ribcage, careful to put no pressure on the erection he was putting great effort into pretending to be unaware of. He had no idea what Harry's reaction would be if he were to press against it the way he wanted to, it was too much of a risk for now. It was killing him not to, though. He fastened his lips over a nipple and bit his frustration deep into the skin, pressing the flat of his tongue hard over the flesh in his mouth.

Harry gasped loud and his hips bucked toward Draco's arched up body, his fingers wrapped around Draco's upper arms and squeezed hard enough to bruise. Then his leg hooked up around Draco's body and pulled his body down against him.

Draco released Harry and pulled his head back in surprise as his stomach hit Harry's crotch and his own erection was pressed into the thigh Harry had between his legs. Harry's free leg pressed down over his backside, crushing their bodies together. Harry's head was thrown back and his eyes were closed.

"Harry?" Draco held as still as he could, propping himself over Harry's chest. "I thought..."

Harry seemed to notice someone was talking to him. "Huh?" He opened his eyes and looked at Draco.

"I thought... I mean..." It wasn't really that Harry had broken his own rules, he hadn't really. It was that Draco couldn't go this far and not break them in the very near future and he really didn't want to do that yet, not till he was sure Harry wouldn't run out on him as soon as they were done.

Harry suddenly realised what he was doing. "I didn't mean..." he tried to pull his head back together. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that." His flush was changing from arousal to embarrassment as he unhooked his leg and started to pull himself up the bed, out from under Draco. "We shouldn't have..."

"No!" Draco stopped him from moving any further away with a hand on his shoulder. "No, it's fine. I just thought we should slow down a little before it got..."

"Too hard to stop?"

"Something like that."

"But still... what if you hadn't..."

"But I did. I promised, Harry. It doesn't matter which of us says slow down as long as one of us does, right? I can do that."

"You shouldn't have to." Harry looked upset.

"Harry..."

"Let's just go to bed now, we have class tomorrow morning and I don't know about you but I've got some catching up to do." With that Harry pulled himself fully out from under Draco and disappeared into the bathroom.

Draco sighed and rolled over onto his back. He lowered one hand to his undeterred erection and squeezed it lightly, wondering what to do about it. He had never been inclined to masturbate and even now, with so many of his previous illusions about sex in tatters, he wasn't fully comfortable with it. It still felt like a weakness and one that he was capable of doing without, unlike his weakness for Harry Potter. He still wasn't entirely sure what to make of that. He had acted mostly on a sense of self preservation in getting Harry to take him back, his pride had not wanted it, he had not wanted it... no that was a lie. He had wanted it desperately but it was that very desperation that had made him not want it at the same time. Without Harry he was a wreck and although he had intended to try and see it through, build himself back up on his own, he had failed miserably. Perhaps if Harry had truly left, if he hadn't had to see him, if he hadn't come to his room... if he had slit his wrists instead of his thigh and left Draco alone...

That did it, he definitely wasn't hard anymore. Draco curled around himself and wrapped his arms around his body.

In the bathroom Harry leant against the wall of the bathroom and took a couple of deep breaths. That had been close, and yet he hadn't really broken his rules. They had still been almost fully dressed and no hands had strayed below the waist. The letter of their law was unbroken even if the spirit had gotten a little mangled. But he wondered, if Draco hadn't stopped things would he have stopped them? Maybe it didn't matter, as long as Draco kept his word. He undressed to take a quick shower, he needed the extra time it would give him. Why was it so easy for Draco to say stop? Well, that was pretty obvious. It was because Draco wasn't a fucked up pervert with no control over his own sex drive. Unlike Harry. Under the hot spray of water he grasped himself harshly and the rough grip only aroused him more. Draco wasn't turned on by pain, not like Harry. Draco didn't need sex although Harry had done a great job of making him want it when he'd been doing just fine without it before. As Harry berated himself for his corruption of Draco he jerked himself until he finally came hard. Then he cleaned up and washed away every trace of it. Finally, more composed, he went back into the bedroom wrapped in a towel. He'd have to borrow pyjamas from Draco, he hadn't brought any.

Draco was lying on the bed staring at nothing and feeling a bit sorry for himself. He heard Harry come back through and thought about moving, but didn't.

"Um, can I borrow a pair of pyjamas?" Harry asked.

Draco rolled over and was completely distracted out of his sulk by damp Harry in a towel. So much so that he forgot to answer Harry.

"Draco?"

"Sorry... what?" Draco tore his eyes from Harry's stomach up to his face.

"Pyjamas."

Draco looked down at himself in confusion a moment, he wasn't wearing pyjamas, then he remembered the original question. "Right, yes, of course." He shook his head to clear it and went over to his chest of drawers. Get a grip, he thought to himself. You're getting really pathetic.

--------------- tbc

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