The Seduction of Severus Snape

Chapter 15: The Heart of the Matter

If there's one thing that Dad does horribly, it's driving. He's completely reckless, and I love it. Though Mum has a heart attack every time she's in a car with him. He always goes at least sixty, never slows down on turns, and cuts people off every chance he gets. Not to mention his parallel parking. He speeds down the road, hits the brake, and spins the wheel. Somehow, he always ends up with a perfect parking job. I don't think he even has a drivers' license. "You just rest your head," he told me, revving the engine in the silver 1969 Corvette convertible. "She'll be smooth as silk, swear it on Davey Jones' locker." I've always thought it kind of strange, the way Dad refers to the car as if it's a woman. Then again, he's been doing it for as long as he's had it, and he's had it since before I was born. So I'm used to it. "Mmm, that's right, purr for me," he hummed happily, that manic glint forming in his eyes. I knew I wasn't going to get any rest on our trip home, but I was determined to try. Even if I had to listen to Dad make sexual comments to the car. I swear, sometimes I think he loves that car more than Mum.

I didn't get any sleep in, of course. It was kind of difficult to do so when we were going over eighty with people honking at us constantly, so I settled for just leaning back in my seat and relaxing. Upon my request, Dad put the radio on and blasted it, further angering our fellow travelers. Honestly, some people just don't appreciate good music. Who in their right mind would complain about David Bowie? Alright, complaining about getting cut off on the exit ramp I could understand... But David?

At least we got home in one peace. "Well, as usual, it was an adventure," I commented after we'd skidded to a stop in the driveway.

"You know Lorainne, always good for a romp." He lovingly patted the hood of the car and headed for the house. Yes, he named the car. With a sigh, I followed. Of course, Mum was on me the moment we'd made it through the door.

"Oh, Nadia, it's so wonderful to see you again!"

"Thanks, Mum."

"Look at you, you've made it through that school of yours, and now you're a young lady! I'm so happy for you."

"Thanks, Mum."

"It's lovely, isn't it? Nathanyel! Congratulate her!"

"Congratulations," Dad said, rather monotonously.

"Thanks, Dad."

"You didn't sound like you meant it," Mum growled at him.

"CONGRAAAAAATULATIONS!!!" Dad shouted, turning a cartwheel and letting out a whoop. "There, how's that?"

"Oh, be serious for once."

"As if I'd ever." He then helped me to get my trunk into my room.

"I'm taking a nap," I informed him.

"Right. Just don't worry your mother." So, I napped. And I slept for about seventeen hours. Yes, I know it was a long time, but... Hey. Sleep is good. So, I got up, grabbed something to eat, watched A Streetcar Named Desire on the television, then went back to sleep. You know me, all sleepy-head.

I woke up to the sound of someone knocking very loudly at the front door. Groaning, I rolled over and pulled the sheets over my head. It was only a few more seconds before I heard a door slamming and Dad grumbling as he shuffled along to answer it. I really hate the thin walls in our house. Then the front door was opened. "What the hell are you doing here?" Dad sounded rather put upon. "It's barely seven in the fucking morning." A yawn.

"I was hungry," came the plaintive reply. The voice sounded familiar, but I couldn't quite place it. "I'm out of food and money. I was hoping you'd have some around? Either would be fine." There was a short pause before Dad let out a defeated sigh.

"Alright. Come on, then." Unidentified person stepped inside, the front door was closed, then footsteps trailed into the kitchen. "We've got frosted mini-wheats-"

"Which really aren't mini at all," person interrupted.

"Agreed. There are eggs, oatmeal-"

"Maple brown sugar?"

"Yes. Pancake mix, yogurt, and bacon."

"Oh, yum. Bacon. Well, I'll have a little of each, thanks."

"I'm afraid not." Dad sounded slightly amused. Meanwhile, I was going insane trying to figure out where I'd heard that voice before and, realizing that I wasn't about to fall back asleep any time soon, decided to get up and investigate. I opened my door to the sound and smell of eggs sizzling in a frying pan and walked into the kitchen.

"Dad, why is Harry Potter rooting about in our refrigerator?"

"Because he's an idiot and a dirty mooch," Dad replied. "And he thinks the milk might be bad."

"Hullo," Harry greeted, sniffing at the milk, then drinking from the carton. I slapped him on the back of the head.

"Use a glass. And good morning to you, too." It was beyond me why he was eating breakfast at our house, but I had found out long ago that when my dad's involved, it's best just to go along with things and not ask questions. "Long time, no see." A little over a year, to be exact.

"Yes, nice to see you again," he muttered, rubbing the back of his head. "That hurt."

"Egg," Dad warned before flinging a fried egg across the room. Harry ducked just in time, and it sailed through the air, only to be caught by Sweetheart and devoured.

"Nice," I grumbled. "The bird gets first privileges?"

"Yes." I would have argued more, but then the sound of the door being opened and shut drifted to the kitchen, and Draco came stomping into the room, grumbling indignantly. Again, quite confusing, but less so than Harry's presence.

"I should have known," Draco grumbled, dropping his cloak over the back of a chair. "I knew you were over here, Potter! You just had to waltz over and- and-" he looked around the room. "Eat breakfast."

"What, do you two have something going?" I asked. They both looked at me with identical disgusted faces.

"Oh, gross- no!" Draco replied.

"Ew, disgusting, never," Harry insisted at the same time.

"Wait a moment- what's so disgusting about me?"

"Try everything."

"Keep it down," I scolded. "You'll wake up Mum." And somehow I doubted she'd appreciate seeing two previously unknown young men squabbling in the kitchen.

"Actually, she left earlier to visit your grandmother," Dad informed me. "I convinced her not to take you along."

"You're the best dad in the world." Long silence while the three of us young-uns got settled at the table, Harry with a glass of not-quite-bad milk. "So... Draco. Who'd you leave Remus for?" Heehee, Remus. That's still fun to say. Draco's mouth dropped open, and the gurgling noise he would have made was drowned out by Dad cursing as he burned himself on the stovetop and Harry choking on his milk. "I guess I'm not getting an answer, then." As usual.

"Well... The sex is good," Draco offered, still trying to recover. I thought I heard Dad chuckle a bit under his breath, while Harry snorted.

"Oh, that reminds me!" I exclaimed. "Since you're here, Draco..." I rushed off, fished The Ultimate Guide of Fellatio out of my trunk (hey, I procrastinate with unpacking) and hurried back with it. "Look at this!" Dad was immediately by my side, grinning at the book.

"I've seen this book before."

"What?" Draco hopped up and came to take a look, then blushed. "Not funny."

"It's not supposed to be," I replied, rolling my eyes. "Just look." And I flipped it to the inside of the back cover, where Lucius Malfoy's name remained signed. Dad abruptly stopped smiling. "I know you were related to him, Dad... So..."

"Right," he said tightly. "Very nice." Draco said nothing. "I... Need to... Chop some firewood." And he wandered off to the back door, where he stepped out in the yard and started walking around the perimeter, following the fence.

"What just happened?" I asked blankly.

"You shouldn't have done that," Draco hissed. Harry simply remained conveniently absorbed with his milk, as he had been the entire time.

"I thought he'd have wanted to see it."

"You thought wrong!" He snatched the book from me and prowled into the back yard, following Dad in his pointless trek through the neatly cut grass.

"Well. That was awfully strange." I sat down with Harry. "What do you think?"

"I haven't got an opinion," he said quickly.

"Oh, for Christ's sake. Well, I guess it's just too painful for them to see Lucius Malfoy's old sex advice book."

"...Nadia... Have you ever entertained the notion that... Perhaps... Just maybe... Nathanyel's been keeping an awful lot from you?" I sighed.

"Yes. As I've already found out from certain other parties. For instance, the drugs, the murders, and the embezzling."

"Technically it was manslaughter." I shrugged.

"It's still killing people. And I know that Dad was really close to Malfoy, but apparently you know a lot more than I do." I paused for a moment. "That angers me."

"He's only trying to protect you... And keep you from hating him, of course."

"If you're about to tell me he was secretly a Death Eater or something-"

"Oh, fuck no! Pardon my language." I just raised my eyebrows. "Er... It's just... Well, I don't really know the full details, but sometimes I... Er... Overhear things."

"Chronic eavesdropper?" He flushed. "Me, too."

"Well, anyway... I suppose it all started when Nathanyel shot me."

"You're shitting me."

"No, I'm not. He shot me, once in each leg." I stared at him for a while before I realized that he was completely serious. Imagining that... It was just... So... Funny! I don't think he much appreciated it when I started laughing. "You know, Snape laughed at me, too." I shut up. "Anyway, Malfoy took the blame for it. We never told anyone else what had really happened... It was a rather strange time. For me, at least. That was just before you came to headquarters, actually." That's so weird.

"Damn, just missed it." I snapped my fingers.

"You aren't funny, you know."

"I'm not trying to be."

"Hmph." I rolled my eyes at him.

"So what are you trying to tell me, anyway?"

"You see... It's like this. Nathanyel was never loyal to a cause... Certainly not to Voldemort's cause, but not exactly to Dumbledore's either... He was only loyal to people. I still don't know his entire opinion on the whole affair. It's a rather unique thing."

"I see." I crossed my arms. "So he was loyal to Lucius."

"Among others, yes."

"Aha. And... Now he's getting depressed because Lucius is dead."

"Basically. Fresh wounds, and all."

"It's been a year, about."

"So? Wouldn't you get depressed if someone reminded you of Blaise?"

"Thanks for depressing me, asshole." Harry shook his head, standing up to remove the eggs from the frying pan.

"You see?" He started devouring them. "Anyway, I have to go to work. Auror in training, and all."

"You know you never do anything important," I reminded him. He just shrugged and, shoving an entire egg in his mouth, disapparated. I looked out into the backyard again and, deciding that I was starting to get hungry, made myself some oatmeal. After I'd finished, I got dressed and took a walk to the park. I swung on the swings a bit, then played on the monkey bars. It was basically deserted, since most families had probably gone off to the beach.

I didn't come home until after dark, at which point I said a quick hello to Mum and went straight to sleep. I woke up early again the next day, which was very irritating, and went into the kitchen for breakfast. Mum and Dad were both there, and it was a bit of a relief to finally see them together.

Dad was opening his morning mail, a frown on his usually cheerful face, while I sifted through the pile to check for any letters addressed to me. As I got to the bottom, I caught a glimpse of spidery handwriting before Dad snatched the letter away, giving me a worried glance before he tore the envelope open. I could have sworn... But no... No, it couldn't be. I was mistaken.

I turned back to my mail; I was reading a letter from Ginny, giving the details about spending a week at the burrow some time over the summer. I'm sure Dad would let me go; after all, he absolutely adores the entire Weasley family. I was immersed in another letter, this one from Colin, when Dad suddenly did something rather out of character for him. He cursed.

"God dammit!" He slammed the letter he'd received on the table, looking irritated.

"Nathanyel!" Mum scolded. "Watch your language at the table." Dad ignored her, standing up and scrunching the letter up in a tight grip, pacing.

"Bugger!"

"Nathanyel!"

"Shut it!" he snapped. "I'm not in the mood!" Uh oh. Fighting.

"You're not in the mood?" Mum sounded really angry. "You're not in the mood?" I sensed oncoming shrieking. "Don't tell me you're not in the mood, Nathanyel!" And there it is. "I'm the one working my ass off, trying to keep this house in order, and all you ever do is run out to that- that job of yours, that you won't even tell us about, and come home to laze about and fold paper!" She was red in the face and obviously having trouble keeping her frustration in check.

Dad slowly halted his pacing, his eyes locked on her, and from the look on his face I thought he might hex her to next week. However, he instead turned to me, and leaned over, giving me a tired smile and a kiss on the cheek. "I have to go, love. Don't want to be late for work. Have a good day." I stared at him.

"Er... Bye, Dad."

"I love you." He gave me a tight hug.

"Love you, too, Dad." Then, he turned back to Mum, inclining his head toward her in a polite, but distant manner.

"Good day, Madame." And then he disapparated. Mum tightened her lips a bit, then sighed and turned to me.

"Well, get dressed, Nadia. We're going to go out and find you a job, today." As you can guess, my day was complete and total torture. We went to a number of different places, all of which I had no desire to work at. I finally persuaded Mum to let me go look around Diagon Alley, so I apparated over there. I'd meant to land outside Ollivander's, but I ended up at Florean Fortescue's, instead. Well, my apparition had always needed a bit of practice.

Anyway, I applied at a few places over there, and went to see if there were any openings at Weasley's Wizard Wheezes, which there weren't. But I bought a few canary creams for Dad while I was there, and I got to see the twins again... And come to the understanding as I never had before, that their relationship is truly special. They're extremely close... If you get my meaning.

I got home by dinner time, but Dad wasn't home from work yet (of course) so it was just me and Mum. That was a real treat, I tell you. All she could do was nag me about going to wizarding school and learning a bunch of "useless hocus pocus." Sometimes she really irritates me to no end.

The next morning, Dad was in a bad mood again (though it didn't stop him from weaving a daisy chan and placing it on his head.) I seriously think it has something to do with the post. He was completely silent, and there seemed to be a tense feeling in the air, like a balloon about to burst. And then it did.

"Eek!" Mum shrieked as an owl flew through the open window and landed on the kitchen table, disturbing our breakfast. It immediately held its leg out to Dad, who took the letter from it and fed it some bacon. After receiving the treat, the owl took flight again, and Dad opened the letter, reading it impassively as he adjusted the daisy chain atop his head. I watched as his expression morphed from apathetic, to disbelieving, to utterly enraged.

"BLOODY HELL!!" he roared, jumping out of his chair and slamming his fist on the table, causing the dishes and silverware to shake.

"Nathanyel!!" Mum exclaimed, horrified at his language. He didn't answer her; instead, he apparated with a loud crack, the letter still held tightly in his fist.

"Well, that was interesting," I commented.

"Ooh, that man!" Mum growled, practically jumping out of her seat. "I just can't deal with this, I can't!"

"Are we doing anything today?" I asked, ignoring her rage.

"We're visiting Uncle Kristo!" she snapped. "So get ready!"

"You know he won't be up at this hour," I replied, finishing off my cereal.

"All the more reason to pay him a visit!"

"Alright, alright... Sheesh, someone needs some valium."

"Go!" So, off we went to visit my alcoholic, bee-keeping priest of an uncle. He lived within walking distance, so Mum and I had plenty of time to be awkwardly silent as we made our way over to his shithole- I mean, house. Sorry, I know that's mean... But it's true. He has his own place, since he was kicked out of the rectory for disorderly conduct... Really, he's a good guy, though. At least, he would be if he got his act together.

Mum rang the doorbell about three times before there was any kind of response. We heard someone moving about for a bit, then a thud, immediately followed by a proclamation along the lines of, "MOTHER!!" and finally, the lock clicked and the door swung open.

There stood Uncle Kristo in a ratty old dressing gown, his dark hair disheveled, his face unshaven, and his eyes bleary and bloodshot. "You've been drinking again," Mum immediately accused.

"Yes," he admitted slowly. "...I just couldn't keep my hands off the sacramental wine."

"Alright, let us in," she ordered, practically shoving him aside. "This place is a dump." She says that every time we're there, of course. "I'm going to cook you some real food, and you are going to clean up. Nadia, help him." With that, she disappeared into the kitchen.

I looked around at the living room, feeling rather dismal at the thought of cleaning it. The whole house smelled of liquor, smoke, and the faint sweetness of honey, while the carpet was brown. This was a bad thing, because it used to be white. Everything was threadbare or worse, and there were cigarette butts, empty bottles and cans, and dirty magazines strewn haphazardly around the place. Not to mention all the mysterious stains... Most of them were from vomit, but some were questionable. Speaking of vomit, Uncle Kristo reeked of it.

"Nadia! It's so good to see you!" He moved in for a hug, but I stepped back.

"Don't touch me. You've been vomiting, and I can tell you haven't cleaned up." He looked rather sheepish at that.

"Well, I would have if you hadn't interrupted me." He cast a dubious look in the direction of the kitchen. "What's her problem, anyway?"

"Dad's been acting stranger than usual. He seems rather angry."

"Ah." Scratching himself in a place I didn't care to look at, he headed for the bedroom. "I'll go get dressed, then." With a long-suffering sigh, I grabbed the empty waste bin that was sitting by the door and went about collecting bottles. I wasn't even going to think about touching those magazines. Eventually, Uncle Kristo came out to help me; he smelled much better, and didn't look so bleary-eyed, but he still hadn't shaved.

"Dad replenished your stock of sobering potions?" I asked.

"And hang-over remedies," he informed me. "Very useful." He started gathering up the adult magazines, pausing every once in a while to cock an eyebrow at the centerfold.

"You're such a dirty old man," I grumbled.

"Hey!" he protested. "I'm only... What was it... Thirty-five! And, if I do say so myself, I'm not too bad on the eyes, either." Well, that was technically true. After all, the female parishioners were always hitting on him; he never protested to that, of course, the lech.

"You're still dirty," I replied, nudging an issue of Hustler out of the way with my shoe to get a beer can. "Oh, gross, it's wet."

"Oops." He picked the thing up between his thumb and forefinger and sniffed at it. "Oh, don't worry, that's just beer."

"Like I believe you."

"Now is that any way to speak to your godfather?"

"Yes." I dropped the last empty bottle into the waste basket and pulled out my wand. "Especially when I'm cleaning up after him. Evanesco."

"I'm not the one who told you to do that." He walked off with the stack of magazines, apparently intending to store them in a safe place, while I tried to think of a spell to easily clean the rest of the room. Finally, I came up with one, and performed it rather rigorously. I had to use it four times before the room even came close to looking clean. "Wow, this place looks great!"

"It should," I muttered, checking to see if my wand had been over-worked. "Anyway, let's go eat." Mum had managed to clean the kitchen without magic better than I'd cleaned the living room with it, and had a stack of sandwiches laid out with a pitcher full of water.

"I'd have put out juice," Mum informed us stiffly, "but the only thing to drink was beer, brandy, and whiskey."

"Argh, then I'm out of vodka," Uncle Kristo sighed, sitting down. Lunch was spent with Mum incessantly nagging, while Uncle Kristo interjected with commentary of a degrading and slightly sexual nature. Mum hit him an awful lot. Finally, she ran off to clean the bedroom, leaving us alone for some quality time together.

"So."

"I made you some raspberry honey. I know how much you like it." He grinned.

"Oh." I blinked, a bit surprised. "Thanks."

"So tell me about this Severus bloke you've got a boner for."

"Oh, for Christ's sake! Does everyone know!?"

"Don't take the fucking Lord's name in vain," he scolded. "And yes, everyone knows. Well, except for Miriam. She'd probably have an aneurysm on the spot."

"Right."

"Mostly because, unlike me, she's met Severus."

"Yes, I think I remember him mentioning at some point that he hates her."

"She hates him, too." He let out a long yawn. "A lot."

"I don't blame her," I muttered.

"Oh, don't say that. You want to bone him, don't you?"

"God, can you stop using that terminology?"

"How many times do I have to tell you not to take the Lord's name in vain?" I rolled my eyes. "And fine. You're madly and passionately in love with him."

"Yeah, so it seems."

"Then go fuck him." He got up and took a beer from the refrigerator. "Want a drink?"

"No thanks." He shrugged and returned to the table. "Anyway, how am I supposed to 'go fuck him,' as you do delicately stated?"

"Well, Nathanyel knows where he lives. So just get on over there, and... I dunno... Say, 'Listen up, guy, I want your dick in my cooch now, or else.' You know, that kind of thing."

"You're a really bad role model, you know that?"

"Yes. So, are you gonna go do him, or what?" I groaned, frustrated.

"No! It's a lot more complicated than that!"

"I don't see how. I mean, what's so complicated about going over there and jumping his bones, anyway?"

"How can you talk like that? I'm your niece."

"So? Doesn't mean you can't bone a guy or two. Which, if my source is correct, you already have." I flushed a bit. That was only Blaise!

"Well... Alright, so I want to fuck his brains out! We don't need to discuss it!"

"If you insist," he replied airily.

"...Did you ever have sex, before you joined the priesthood?"

"Hell, yes!" Well... It certainly wasn't a surprise. "I mean... Well, I had a girlfriend."

"So why'd you become a priest?" He just shrugged.

"Hey, let's go see what your Mum's up to in there." He always changes the subject when I ask him why he became a priest... Oh well.

"She's probably been swallowed by something that was growing under the bed," I replied. "You're such a slob."

"Well... You're a flaming booty moth."

"Hey, that's Dad's favorite band."

After the visit to Uncle Kristo's place, we went home and had a little girl's night. We ordered out and rented a chick flick, having a huge tear fest at the sad parts. It was nice to have some quality time with my Mum, since she's always so busy. She always feels the overwhelming (yet unnecessary) need to take care of everyone she comes across, so she's usually fussing about one thing or another. Actually, over the next couple of days I had a lot of time to hang out with both Mum and Dad. It was pretty nice. Of course, they fought a lot more than usual when they were around each other, but I thought it was nothing to worry about. Until, of course, things took a turn for the worse.

I woke up, yawned loudly, and turned to look at the clock. It read two... In the morning... I soon discovered what had woken me up, as voices drifted down the hall and through my open bedroom doorway. Screaming. It was just loud enough to cause a disturbance while remaining indistinct; I struggled to make out words from the muffled noise, but to no avail. I was rather put off, though. Mum and Dad were screaming at each other. And... I'd never heard Dad scream before. Not like that, at least. And certainly not at Mum. I sat up, knowing that I wouldn't be able to get back to sleep, anyway.

There was a door slamming, and then stomping footsteps through the hallway, while Mum sounded like she was sobbing loudly in the master bedroom. I had a rather bad feeling about it, actually. Then, the footsteps stopped and backtracked, and Dad was standing in the doorway. "I'm sorry."

"It's alright," I muttered. "None of my business anyway."

"I'll be back around the afternoon. Don't worry, okay?"

"I'll try not to." He nodded once.

"You just get some sleep." And then he walked off. I listened to the front door open and close, then the crunching of shoes on the gravel in the driveway, and the sound of the car starting up... And leaving. I knew it must have been bad if he was taking the car out.

After a few minutes of sitting and staring blankly at the wall, I decided to get up, and headed into the master bedroom. Mum was sitting on the floor, fanning herself with her hand and wiping her face with a tissue. "Oh! Nadia! I didn't know you were awake." She sniffed loudly.

"Are you alright, Mum?"

"Never better!" she cried shrilly. "Don't you worry about a thing!" I didn't believe her, of course. The floor was littered with crumpled up tissues and... Strange-looking pills.

"What are those pills there?"

"Nothing!" She replied, starting to gather them up. I felt sick for a moment, thinking the worst- that maybe old habits die hard- before I caught sight of the empty pill bottle on the floor. I picked it up before Mum had a chance to snatch it away and read the label.

"...Tranquilizers?" I whispered. She let out another sniff.

"I'm sorry, Nadia, but the doctor recommended them! And Nathanyel won't take them and he keeps screaming at me and I- I don't know what to do!"

"Dad isn't some sort of mental patient," I murmured, sinking onto the floor with her. "He's just strange, that's all."

"He's being so unreasonable! The doctor's been trying to give him medication for years-"

"You never told me that," I interrupted.

"I know, we didn't want to worry you! I- I'm worried, I'm just not sure anymore..."

"Not sure?" I repeated vaguely.

"Sometimes, Nadia, people- grow apart."

"I'm not listening to this," I replied instantly, standing up.

"Oh, don't be like this."

"It's late. I need to sleep. You need to sleep. We need sleep." Then, I went to sleep. But... Well, I couldn't get to sleep. Not until six in the morning, that is.

I woke up at four in the afternoon, and decided that maybe a late lunch would improve my mood and get rid of that tight, ominous feeling in my stomach. When I entered the kitchen, surprisingly enough, Dad was there. "Hello, Nadia," he greeted. He was sitting at the table, sharing a huge bar of chocolate with Sweetheart.

"You're not at work?" I asked, taking a seat next to him.

"I thought I'd leave early. I wanted to see you." He smiled warmly at me, and I felt another foreboding lurch in my stomach.

"That's nice." Just then, Mum walked in. She and Dad stared at each other for a long time, while I wondered if I should leave. At long last, Mum let out a long sigh and walked across the room. Dad frowned a bit and took a bite out of his chocolate bar.

"Nathanyel!" Mum exclaimed, catching sight of the chocolate and trying to take it away. "You can't eat that, it'll make you hyperactive!"

"Away, wench!" There was a deafening silence in the kitchen. Dad sullenly popped another piece of chocolate into his mouth, glaring at Mum. Then, she turned to me.

"Nadia, give me a hand with your father." Dad was giving me pleading looks from behind her back, glancing towards her and then signing that she was batty.

"Er..." I teetered on indecision. Exasperated, Mum let out a sigh and turned back to Dad, her hands on her hips. He only glared at her. Suddenly, with speed and precision I've only seen in a seeker, her hand shot out and she snatched the chocolate from his hands, then chucked it in the garbage pail. He stared, apparently still in shock, at the garbage pail, then at Mum.

"Nathanyel, every single time I tell you to do something, you flat out refuse! I'm only doing these things for your own good, and it would be nice to have a little cooperation."

"If I am responsible enough to provide for this family," he replied tersely, "then one would think that I'm responsible enough to eat a bloody bar of chocolate."

"Language, Nathanyel!" He stood, pushing his chair in.

"If you want to nag someone, then call up your whore of a sister," he snapped.

"Nathanyel!" Her voice was nearly at a screech. With a snort he left the room.

"Harpy," I heard him mutter under his breath as he walked away.

"Well!" she huffed, speechless for a few moments. For once. Then she turned to me, frowning deeply. "You could have given me a hand, Nadia!" she scolded.

"Frankly, I'm rather glad I didn't," I replied, crossing my arms. After all, Dad loved his sweets and Mum was being completely unfair; she hadn't treated him right since I'd gotten home, in fact. "You treat him horribly." She opened and closed her mouth a few times before finally finding the words to answer.

"Have you seen the way he acts?" she shrilled. "Cursing at dinner, throwing fits over those- those letters! Who knows where they're from? What if- what if someone's taking advantage of him, hm? And- and the other night- I'm sure you heard it- he was screaming, Nadia, screaming at me!" I kept my arms crossed and my gaze even.

"You were trying to give him tranquilizers," I replied quietly.

"He needs them!" she retorted. "You've seen his moods lately!"

"And I can only guess why!" I shouted back.

"Nadia!" I ignored my mother's scolding and left the kitchen. I walked very quickly, and locked myself up in the Origami Room as soon as I reached it, using magic, of course. Dad was there, sitting in a paper chair and folding something.

"Hi, Dad," I murmured, moving to a chair next to him and sitting down. He sighed heavily, then looked up at me with glittering eyes.

"Sometimes people are like birds, Nadia," he replied softly, sounding utterly sincere. I wondered if this was going to be another crazy lecture that made no sense. "You can't keep people in cages," he continued, his voice barely above a whisper as he continued to fold. He just looked so... Tired. Then, he finished and held out a little green paper crane for me to see. "Even if they seem too fragile to let go of..." He gently tugged at the tail and made the wings flap. "They need to be free. Like birds. They need to fly on their own, even if it seems as though they might fall." As he spoke, he tossed the crane into the air. As I watched it fall, he pulled out his wand and gave it a wave. Just before the crane hit the floor, it came to life and flew back up into the air, soaring gracefully around the room. "You just need to have faith. Things work out in strange ways, sometimes. That's how life is." He watched as the crane landed on a desk across the room and preened itself. "Do you understand?"

"...I ...suppose..." I trailed off as I watched him rub his eyes, sliding down in his chair.

"Hm..." I bit my lip.

"I understand."

"Really?" He sounded melancholy, as if he wasn't actually wondering.

"Yes."

"...Good." He looked into the fireplace, where a small, magically controlled fire was burning. "...That's good." We sat in relative silence for a bit, before I spoke up.

"Dad... Are you and Mum... Having a lot of trouble?" He took a deep breath and bit his lip, gripping the arms of his chair a bit tighter.

"Lately, a bit more than usual. Don't worry about it." I nodded a bit, and he paused before changing the subject. "So, still in love with Severus, then?"

"Yes."

"That's good." I couldn't take it any longer.

"What's so good about it?!?" I burst out, throwing my hands in the air. "Unrequited love! Oh, wow, that's great! I'll break out my best tea set!"

"Nadia," he replied gently, "remember what I said." He motioned towards the crane, which was still lazing about on the desk. "Just don't you worry. These things have a way of working out." He took my hand and squeezed it. "You'll be alright."

"All you keep saying is not to worry. I can't help it!" He smiled a bit, though it was a rather sad smile.

"You get that from you mother, I suppose. Well, try to keep yourself occupied. I promise, you haven't seen the last of Severus." He stood up and kissed me on the forehead, then quietly exited the room. I blinked a bit, wondering what he meant, and if he was actually right. And, if so... How did he know? It was all just confusing me. I stayed inside the room for at least another thirty minutes, staring into the fire and watching the crane every once in a while.

The next day was almost like a form of torture. There was nothing to do, my latest job application hadn't gone through, and it was raining rather heavily. And, on top of it all, as I stared out at the pounding rain, all I could think of was Severus Snape. The way his hair fell in his face, the way his ears turned ever so slightly red when he was embarrassed, the way he pursed his lips when he was irritated, the way his eyelids had drooped just before he kissed me...

"Someone hasn't taken my advice," Dad commented lightly, plopping down on the window seat next to me and looking out at the yard. "Still sulking and worrying, I see." I didn't answer; I just kept staring out the window. "Well, it'll just be you and me today. Your mum's visiting her sister- ahem-whore-ahermhmm... Sorry, had a tickle in my throat..." I made no response; I didn't even crack a smile. There was silence for a bit, then he gently placed a hand on my shoulder. "Nadia," he said kindly in a soft voice, "if there's anyone I know, it's Severus. He may be an idiot about these things, he may be afraid of anything bordering romantic, he may have an inferiority complex, and he may have issues with his sexuality- but- wait, what was I talking about again?" I sighed, finally responding.

"It's okay, Dad. I'll get over it." I didn't even believe myself.

"I certainly hope not," he replied enigmatically, "because it would be a shame if you got over him before he had a chance to sweep you off your feet." He gave me a small, lopsided grin, and I returned it with a half-hearted smile.

"Fat chance." I leaned over against him and brushed some hair out of my face. He responded with a warm hug, and rubbed my back.

"Nadia, you know I hate to see you like this," he whispered. "So let me tell you something right now- I fully intend to walk you down the aisle someday. And I fully intend to give you away to Severus. No one else." That was kind of... creepy.

"Why?" I asked quietly.

"Because you love him." He gently kissed me on the top of my head.

"You're so weird."

"Not as weird as Severus."

"What makes him so weird?" I asked listlessly.

"Because he spends most of the year living in a dungeon," he responded. "And wasting precious time that he could be spending with you."

"You really are weird, Dad."

"At least it runs in the family." We sat in thoughtful silence for a bit. I felt like I should tell him something, but... Yes, I should tell him about the kiss. I'm sure he won't mind.

"...Dad?"

"Hm?"

"He kissed me, you know." Dad hesitated, then his mouth dropped open and he turned to me, blinking slowly. After a few moments, he managed to basically regain his composure.

"...What?"

"You know... Severus... Kissed me." The name was strangely comforting on my tongue.

"He did?"

"Yes."

"Really?"

"Yes!" A smile spread across his face, and he looked as if I'd just offered him a million galleons.

"Oh- my- Oh, Nadia!" He pulled me into a fierce hug, laughing. "Wonderful! That's absolutely marvelous! Why didn't you tell me before?"

"Because I didn't want you to crush me!" I wheezed.

"Too late!" Then, he let me go. "Has he contacted you, yet? Sent any letters, something like that?" I shook my head. "That bastard."

"It's alright. I didn't expect anything." He sighed.

"Well... I understand. Can't push these things, and all. So..." He glanced out the window. "It's absolutely shitty outside. What do you say we go catch a film?"

"Are you paying?"

"Absolutely."

"Then let's go."

I was in a much better mood the next day. As a matter of fact, I got out of bed as soon as I woke up. Which, for me, was quite an accomplishment. So, I got up and walked into the kitchen, only to see Dad and Remus sitting at the table. Dad was holding some sort of goop, while Remus was looking rather disgusted.

"I'm telling you, Remus, this is the good stuff." Dad held up the sopping mess for inspection.

"I'll pass, thanks." Dad just shrugged and shoved the whole thing in his mouth.

"Alright. I give up. What's going on?" They both looked around and smiled at me, which was a great feat, since it was two in the afternoon and I had just crawled out of bed. Meanwhile, I wondered why Remus Lupin was in my kitchen.

"I was in the area, so I thought I'd just... Come for a visit." I couldn't tell if he was lying, so I just took his word on it.

"Alright. What's for breakfast?"

"There is one egg in the refrigerator and some cereal crumbs and pancake mix in the cupboard. Mum's out grocery shopping; you can wait for her or help yourself." Dad concluded his narrative with a loud squelch as he continued to devour the swamp creature.

"I'm not hungry. I'll just go back to bed."

"You're not allowed. Sit." Sighing, I sat. "I refuse to feel sorry for you any longer, and you should do the same."

"Harumph."

"You know, I've always thought Severus rather liked you," Lupin... Remus said idly. Heehee. Remus.

"I know he likes you," Dad added.

"This isn't going to turn into an unrequited love support group," I insisted stubbornly.

"You need to have more faith in my power over other people's lives," Dad sighed. "You'd be surprised, really."

"You don't have control over anyone's life," I grumbled.

"Actually," Remus interjected, "he collects life debts as a hobby."

"Yesterday was number thirty-six. High five!" Oh, good lord. They were actually doing it.

"You do not have thirty-six life debts."

"Shows how much you know." I rolled my eyes. "Alright, everyone who owed me a life debt, raise your hand." Reluctantly, I did so. And Remus did so, too.

"That doesn't prove anything," I argued.

"It proves plenty."

"If you're saying that you're going to use a life debt to force Severus to date me, then I'm going to punch you." It feels good to say his name. "In the boob."

"No need to worry," Dad replied. "I'm leaving it entirely up to him."

"Nathanyel, am I drunk, or is there a werewolf sitting at the table?" Uncle Kristo staggered into the kitchen, rubbing at his three-day growth.

"Both," Dad answered casually. "By the way, how many life debts do you owe me?"

"Two."

"That proves nothing," I groused. Uncle Kristo just shrugged, before he focused, bleary-eyed, on Remus. "Remus!"

"Kristo!" There was a short, pregnant pause, then...

"No dogs allowed!" Which was them. Together. Singing. I sensed that an explanation was in order.

"You two know each other?" I asked blankly.

"Yeah, Remus stayed with me a while back," Uncle Kristo yawned. "About five years ago. Speaking of which... God I'm hung over. Nathanyel..."

"Fine, come on. We'll be right back." Dad got up and led him off for a hang-over remedy.

"I can't believe it!" I exclaimed the moment they'd left the room. "He's the priest you seduced!?"

"I never seduced anyone!" Remus protested.

"I'll bet those were my mother's dolmades, weren't they?"

"Er... Yes." I sighed.

"You really are a blasphemous vixen, aren't you?"

"I'm not, honestly. Besides, aren't you supposed to be moping?"

"Uncle Kristo's cheerful demeanor and gleaming purity produced by his devotion to the Lord filled me with faith and hope," I replied sarcastically.

"I'd say you're starting to sound like Severus, but he would be much more blunt and brief." I shrugged.

"I'm just not as courteous, I suppose."

"Praise the Lord!" Uncle Kristo returned with Dad, looking a little better.

"More like praise my potions lab," Dad muttered, sitting down with a groan. Uncle Kristo joined us at the table, taking a place next to Remus.

"By the way," he muttered as he fished around in his pocket. "Got something for my lovely goddaughter..." And he produced one of those prayer cards with a saint on it that you get for free from the church. "St. Francis of Assisi- excellent stats. He can kick your arse before you even blink." We have a little game going, where we treat them like those trading cards kids use for mock battles. Shut up, it's not stupid.

"Thanks, but I don't know how he'll fare against Joan of Arc."

"Pff, like Joan of Arc could beat this ultra-rare collectors' gem." Remus and Dad gave each other a "look" and shook their heads. "Which reminds me- I never sent you a birthday present, so here's ten pounds. Don't spend it all in one place."

"Thanks, Uncle Kristo. You're the most ghetto-fabulous godfather ever."

"Alright, enough Hallmark crap," Dad cut in. "So, Kristo- remember how Nadia had that love affair with Severus?"

"Shut the fuck up, Dad."

"I remember," Uncle Kristo replied, ignoring me.

"Well, neither of them saw fit to inform me, but- they kissed!"

"No!" Remus exclaimed incredulously.

"That's so sweet!" Uncle Kristo taunted, making loud, wet kissing noises.

"Shut it, the lot of you!" I growled. "It was just a kiss, and now it's over. I don't want to talk about it!"

"Fine, go ahead and shun us," he sighed.

"It's not as if we matter," Remus sniffed.

"We'll just go outside and sit under a raincloud," Dad finished forlornly.

"You're just a ravenous pack of children," I informed them, "and I've got better things to do than listen to you gossip about me."

"Like getting a job?" Dad suggested.

"No. Like watching MacGyver on channel thirty-four." Which is exactly what I did. Of course, it wasn't ten minutes through the show when all three of them came scurrying in and plopped down on either side of me. "God, you're so annoying!"

"Don't worry," Dad whispered loudly, "she's a teenager."

"And don't take the Lord's name in vain," Uncle Kristo scolded. "Jesus H. Christ, kids these days never learn."

"I'm not a 'kid,'" I informed him, "I'm an adolescent."

"What are you watching, anyway?" Remus asked, squinting at the television.

"I'm watching three grown men making asses of themselves."

"That's not a very nice thing to say," Dad informed me.

"Good! Now go!"

"I think Severus rubbed off on you."

"Leave me alone!"

"I'm changing the channel," Uncle Kristo sighed, switching the television over to the Golden Girls and singing along with the opening theme. Dad joined in.

"I'm going back to bed," I muttered, leaving. Honestly, a girl can't get a moment's peace.

"Nadia?" Dad poked his head through the doorway. I was sitting on my bed, getting ready to pass out again.

"What?"

"Sorry about pissing you off." I shrugged.

"I'm just feeling moody today."

"Well... If you're up for a trip, we're going to Diagon Alley." I glanced at him, raising an eyebrow. "Knockturn Alley, too," he admitted.

"Alright, then. I'll get ready."

"Huzzah!"

Diagon Alley was... Interesting. People kept thinking that Remus and Dad were a couple, and at one point a shop owner referred to me as Uncle Kristo's wife... I almost decked him. But I didn't, mostly because Dad held me back. Well, I suppose it was a little weird, me walking around with three older men. It was fun, though. We went shopping for robes (Uncle Kristo got his money changed and bought some, too- where he'd wear them, I've no idea) then for potions ingredients in Knockturn Alley, which was followed by Dad's search for some sort of Dark Artifact. He found it in a tiny, dusty old shop in the very back of the darkened alley; it was a mirror that didn't show your reflection. I'm not sure what it was for, exactly, but he seemed happy to have it.

After our foray into Knockturn Alley, we went to Florean Fortescue's for some ice cream and, surprisingly enough, ran into Millicent Bulstrode. I'd hung out with her in school a lot (hey, I was in with the Slytherin crowd) but I hadn't really seen her after she left. She's actually a lot smarter than she seems at first. "Hullo, Millie," Dad hummed, licking at his triple-scoop ice cream cone.

"Millicent," she corrected automatically. "And hello. Nadia." She inclined her head.

"Hey, there! Haven't seen you in a while." I paused a moment. "And how do you know my Dad?"

"She's my new apprentice," Dad replied.

"So you're going to be an Unspeakable?" I asked her.

"Yes. Is that your new boyfriend?" She's rather blunt.

"No, he's my uncle." Uncle Kristo waved to her from behind his rum raisin.

"It's good to see you again, Millicent," Remus stated mildly. "You've really been up to a lot, haven't you?" She nodded.

"I need to buy some new robes. My cousin is having a baby shower, and I need something... Bright." She shuddered.

"It's alright, Millicent," I comforted. "Just get something in green and silver."

"Yes, that should be suitable. Well... See you later."

"Bye!" We waved her off, then sat and enjoyed our ice cream. All I can say is... Thank God there's no actual alcohol in rum raisin. It was nice, though, running into Fred and George's joke shop and causing a great commotion. Uncle Kristo wanted to try out everything in the store, and eventually bought enough pranks to fill up his broom closet.

"After all," he reasoned, "you don't need magic to operate magical pranks." It was actually one of the best days I'd had in a while, and I was in a very good (but tired) mood when we got home. Once there, we watched a bunch of teen movies from the eighties (including Teen Wolf, which was quite a surprise for Remus) and finally ended the fun by scaring Mum when she walked in the door, pretending to be burglars. Goodness, that was hilarious.

I was lying awake in bed that night, staring at the ceiling, when it happened. The momentous occasion. I had been thinking about turning on the tube and watching a late night horror movie, but then I decided against it. I would probably end up having dreams about giant flesh-eating brains, anyway. So, I continued to stare at the ceiling.

I had just started to drop off when, quite unexpectedly, there was a tapping at my window. Puzzled, I sat up and squinted through the darkness, only to see a very disgruntled looking owl fluttering about with an envelope in its beak. It didn't look like Snork, so I immediately assumed that it was from Ginny or Colin and let it in.

The owl dropped the envelope on my bed, gave a single baleful hoot, then soared back out the window. I stared after it for a bit, even more confused, then shut the window. It definitely was not from Ginny or Colin.

I stared at the blank envelope, trying to glean an answer from the rough surface of the parchment. Well, more like I wondered where the hell it came from. The first thing sounded much more poetic. Whatever. It was too late to be entirely poetic.

Eventually, I found that simply looking at the envelope was not quite enough to gather the information I wanted. Coming to the conclusion that the contents of the envelope were probably not dangerous, I opened it. Then, with a deep breath, I reached in and pulled out the mysterious letter. Except... It wasn't a letter.

"Hm, a feather," I thought as I felt the familiar pull of a portkey behind my navel.