The Seduction of Severus Snape

Chapter 7: Yuletide Blues

* ~ December 27 ~ *

Alright, so... Christmas! Whoo! It was great. It had snowed overnight, and was apparently the coldest day in half a century. Huzzah! I woke up, opened my presents, and had loads of fun. Whoopee! I got lots of books and sweets and (from Dad, of course) a set of pajamas with dancing fwoopers all over them. Christmas lunch was fun- Luna and I decided to move our bad selves over the to Gryffindor table, and Colin was finally able to talk to me without any awkward pauses. Then, the four of us hung around for a while, took a little walk, had a MASSIVE SNOWBALL FIGHT, and grabbed some hot cocoa from the kitchens. It was a very good Christmas, and I actually didn't mind not going home for the holidays this year at all.

So, after we all parted ways, Luna and I went back to the common room and just lazed about for a while... Then it was time to get ready for the magical ball, oooh. I put my hair up in a loose bun and wore green and silver strapless dress robes. That's right, Dad helped me pick them out. Seriously, sometimes I think he's like some sort of... Strange, off-balance gal pal. Anyway, Luna used magic to put her hair up in the shape of a reindeer and wore some very odd-looking, fuzzy, red and white dress robes. When we were ready, we pranced merrily down to the entrance hall. Or, you know, walked. Same thing.

We spotted Ginny pretty quickly; she was wearing some elegant purple dress robes with her hair down, accompanied by a major hunk, as always. You know, the usual. It wasn't long before Colin waded through the crowd and found us. And I've got to say... He cleans up pretty nicely. He had some burgundy dress robes on and his hair was all... Floppy and sexy. Er, I mean... Yeah, that's what I meant. It wasn't long before Luna was joined by some dazed (but happy) looking Hufflepuff boy who was a year below us. Then, the doors opened and we all went inside the Great Hall and everyone was happy.

The room had a bunch of floating white tapers all around, and there was a dance floor right next to the stained glass windows with a stage, where a band was setting up. There were a bunch of round tables scattered about instead of the house tables, along with a refreshment table off to the side, but the staff table was still in its usual place. Dumbledore stood up and greeted us all very jovially, then we all sat down, got settled, and stuffed our faces. Stuffing our faces was followed by dancing. Dancing was followed by making sweet, sweet love. No, just kidding about that last part.

Colin was actually a better dancer than I expected, though he still tripped over himself a few times. But I didn't mind. We danced for a while, then sat down and had a few butterbeers, then got up and danced some more. Oh, what fun. Then, (finally) a slow dance began to play. I managed to keep Colin from escaping, and from stepping on my feet, and we danced. He was sweating. He did not kiss me. Afterwards, we sat back down at the table with Ginny. Mr. Hunk was up getting drinks, so while he was off she reminded me to fulfill my next task and ask Professor Snape to dance. Then Luna returned with Huffy and Mr. Hunk came back with drinks and everyone started chatting it up. When the conversation dried up, everyone went back to dance. I however, had aching feet, not to mention another task to complete, so I opted to stay at the table while Colin went off to try to find his brother.

Sighing, I looked up at the staff table, where Professor Snape sat alone, playing with his food. I smiled to myself as I watched him, casting a glance out at the dance floor every once in a while and looking disgusted. I thought he actually looked... Lonely. It was funny to think about, but I suppose it's fairly likely, since Dumbledore seems to be the only person who genuinely likes him. Or at least pretends to. The Slytherin students like him, of course, but only because he favors them, and besides, they're students. Anyway, it seemed like a nice time to carry out my next task, so I gathered all my courage and approached the staff table.

I think he noticed me, but he didn't really show any signs of caring. However, when I walked around behind the table and made my way towards him, I could see him tense a bit and take a long gulp of what I assumed was wine. I took a seat next to him and waited patiently for him to address me. There were a few minutes of thick silence, in which I watched him alternately push scraps of food around on his plate and sip his wine. Eventually, he slammed the goblet down on the table and turned to face me. "Yes, Miss Page?" he asked irritably.

"Hello, Professor." He seemed to be waiting for me to say something more, but I held my tongue. The timing had to be just right.

"Well, Miss Page?"

"Hm? Sorry, sir, I'm not sure what you mean."

"What do you want?" I looked at him as if I had no idea what he was talking about. Damn, he looked good. "Don't play dumb with me." I shrugged a shoulder nonchalantly and looked towards the dance floor, where Dumbledore was cutting through the crowd with McGonagall, swinging her around.

"Professors Dumbledore and McGonagall seem to be having a good time," I commented casually, trying to ignore the feeling of his eyes burning into me. "So, why aren't you dancing, Professor?"

"I don't dance," he answered flatly.

"Nobody's asked you, eh?" There was a slight hesitation.

"No," he growled. "And I'm thankful for it."

"Really?"

"Yes." I turned to face him; he looked miserable and angry, as usual.

"Professor?" I asked tentatively. He raised an eyebrow, tapping a finger impatiently on the table. "May I have this dance?" The tapping stopped and, if I didn't know that Severus Snape was not the type to stare, I'd say he was blatantly staring at me in disbelief. It was a long, awkward time before he finally cleared his throat and spoke up.

"...Sorry?"

"I'm asking you to dance." It seems as if I have to repeat myself quite a lot around the man. After a few more moments of silence, I added, "And I'm waiting for an answer." It took him a couple of seconds to compose himself and again look like he wanted nothing more than for my head to explode. Fancy that, and just a little while ago he seemed almost flattered.

"When things like this occur, one must wonder: what could possibly be going through that mind of yours, Miss Page?" I feigned an exaggerated sigh.

"I just thought you looked lonely, Professor." My goodness! Telling the truth to a teacher, shame on me! My reason, however, was met with a derisive snort. So, I leaned in and lowered my voice. "Just between the two of us, sir, I think you look very attractive this evening, and I've also taken notice that this particular set of robes shows off your rear end quite nicely." I sat upright again, taking pleasure in seeing him look taken aback. "Though, I've always thought you had a delicious ass in the first place." This elicited a much more active response.

"Twenty points from Ravenclaw!" he hissed. "You should know better than to talk to a professor like that, Miss Page! Especially in public!" I merely shrugged.

"I thought you might be grateful for the compliment."

"I am still your teacher, and you will always address me as professor or sir. Is that understood?"

"Yes, Professor. Now, would you care to dance, sir?" He stared at me as if he'd never seen anything quite like me before and suddenly stood up, nearly knocking his chair over. For a split second, I actually thought he'd accept my offer.

"I don't dance," he ground out. Scratch that, then. He whirled around, his robes billowing out, and prowled out of the room, presumably to patrol the magically produced garden. Are those red ears I see, Professor?

"Well, that could have gone better," I muttered to myself. I sat for a few minutes, watching the giant double doors, as if by staring at them I would coax Professor Snape back into the room. However, my attempted telekinesis was interrupted by a throat being cleared. I looked up to see the Headmaster standing beside me.

"Ah, Miss Page," he greeted jovially, offering his hand. "Since Professor Snape has so unwisely declined your invitation, would you use this dance on me, instead?" I couldn't help but smile at the eccentric old man, and took his hand, following him to the dance floor. All I can say is, he's a very energetic dancer.

Four songs and a large glass of water later, I had finally escaped Dumbledore's clutches, and was sitting at a table with Colin, watching him spin Luna around in circles. "Does he ever stop?" Colin asked incredulously, watching them.

"I don't think so," I answered. "So, Professor Snape turned me down again."

"I guessed as much. Everyone would have noticed if Snape had actually danced." I nodded.

"Yeah, they would."

"You sound kind of weird. Are you alright?" Colin placed a hand on my arm.

"I'm fine," I replied absently. "Just need a little air."

"I'll come with you."

"No, stay here. Dance with Dumbledore for a bit, you'll have a blast." I gave Colin a wide smile.

"Er... Alright." He smiled back, then took my hand and kissed it. My, my! A charming Colin, I never would have imagined it! "Don't be too long, eh?"

"I won't." I swept out of the room and made my way to the garden, walking along the cobblestone path as I scanned ahead, ignoring the occasional giggling coming from the bushes. I knew I was looking for something, but it didn't quite occur to me until after a while that it was more like someone. I was searching for Professor Snape. Oh, God... Have I become the silly, lovesick girl I've been portraying? Or perhaps the eloquent, yearning woman of the love letters? Either way, it hit me that my feelings for the biased, sarcastic potions master had... intensified, to say the least. What a startling revelation. I guess I always fancy the bad boys.

By the time I had come to said revelation, I had reached a tall fountain at the center of the garden. It was the traditional fountain with the statue of the reindeer, which had been present ever since the first Yule Ball, though someone had taken to weaving roses into its horns this year. It looked kind of nice, actually. It was then that I heard a sigh, barely audible, but still existent. Perhaps it was Professor Snape? I quietly walked around the fountain, which wasn't difficult, since I'd left my shoes in the Great Hall, but the dark figure perched on the edge of the fountain could still detect the rustling of my dress robes. "Five points from-" he paused to look at me- "Ravenclaw, and five points from Gryffindor." I paused for a moment.

"Why Gryffindor, Professor?" He leaned forward and looked around me, as if expecting to see someone else, then straightened himself.

"Hm, you're alone. Too bad, I suppose Gryffindor will have points taken away for nothing." Professor Snape didn't look as if he thought it were bad. "Move along, Miss Page. I don't allow dawdling, inside or outside of classes."

"Yes, Professor." I stood rooted to the spot, watching as he scowled, shifting his weight a bit. Thinking I might seem a little off if I just stood there, I sat down beside the professor, though I still kept my distance, out of respect.

"Miss Page," he muttered, as though getting ready to reprimand me. "I have yet to receive an explanation for why you seem to enjoy pestering me so much." It did sound an awful lot like a reprimand.

"I'm afraid I don't know what you mean, Professor," I answered casually. "Perhaps I just have a pestering sort of personality."

"That is a weak and poorly executed excuse. Five points from Ravenclaw."

"Perhaps you are the one pestering me, Professor," I offered. This didn't go over too well.

"Just what are you suggesting?" he asked dangerously, his lips forming into a sneer.

"Only that you seem to be around me an awful lot," I replied, trying to hide my amusement.

"Miss Page... Please go away." He'd never said please to me like that before. Perhaps I'm making progress? Doubtful.

"You still owe me a dance, Professor." He closed his eyes for a while, a look of consternation on his face, then turned and spoke to me as if I were a small, ignorant child.

"I never agreed to dance with you, Miss Page, and I've told you that I don't dance. Now, if you'll let me be..."

"But I want to dance with you." He blinked slowly, as if the words hadn't quite reached his brain. "Professor," I added hastily, remembering what he'd said before.

"Miss Page," he growled, "perhaps you don't understand. I have no desire whatsoever to dance with you, or anyone else for that matter. Furthermore, if I were to dance, which is extremely unlikely, then you would hardly be my first choice for a partner, because you are my student. Do you grasp what I'm trying to tell you?"

"Professor..." I knew it was bad, but I just couldn't help myself. "Are you coming on to me?" His jaw literally dropped.

"Miss Page!" he hissed, his eyes darting about to search for any possible eavesdroppers. "Were you dropped on your head, or are you just completely daft!?" I shrugged.

"Well, I can't be completely daft, because I got sorted into Ravenclaw." His glare spoke volumes, most of them very angry. "Professor," I implored, "it's just a dance. That's all. I mean, the Headmaster was quite willing to dance with me. I don't see why you're refusing so vehemently." He paused, seeming to be momentarily satiated by the prospect of not being my solitary target for the evening. Then, slowly, he stood up. I, of course, became immediately preoccupied with that wonderful backside of his, and in my quest to get a better view, my hands slipped. I lost my balance and, to my extreme embarrassment, fell backwards into the fountain with a small shriek. The water was shockingly cold; it was like falling into a bucket of ice. Spluttering, I pushed myself up after much struggling (which was very hard on the lungs) and wiped the soaking hair from my face, sucking in the frigid air and cursing under my breath before I saw Professor Snape eyeing me with something that looked suspiciously like amusement. A small smirk flashed momentarily across his face; or was I imagining that?

"Come now, Miss Page. It can't be too bad to get a little wet, can it?" Asshole! It was nearing the end of December, and I was outside, soaking wet, and starting to shiver. I'm very sensitive to the cold, you know. Not to mention the fountain was surprisingly slimy. While trying to get out, I slipped and fell again. This time, when I came up, there was most definitely a smirk on the man's face. I wanted to pound it right off! He was standing there, watching me freeze my ass off, without even trying to help. Well, see if I try to help him the next time he falls into a fountain.

"C-could I have s-some help, p-please, Professor?"

"I'm not sure if that would be appropriate, Miss Page." RARGH!!!

"P-please," I stuttered, my shivering becoming uncontrollable and much more pronounced than before.

"Very well," he muttered, reluctantly holding out his hand. Be still my beating heart! Oof... Perhaps that was actually happening. I grabbed tightly onto his hand, then gave it the mightiest tug I could manage. To my great pleasure, it was more than enough. Let me tell you, that was the most satisfying splash I have ever heard in my life. However, I didn't have long to enjoy the shocked, dripping form of Professor Snape, because I immediately started working on my escape before the shock wore off. "M-Miss Page!" he snarled. Wow, that sounded really angry. I'd managed to stand in the fountain and was about to be off when I felt a strong hand close around my wrist and tug me down. I slipped on the slime in the fountain and fell backwards, landing on something much softer than stone. "ACK!"

"P-Professor, I had no id-dea th-that you felt this way ab-bout me," I managed to work out, despite my constant shivering. I had said this because I was sitting in Professor Snape's lap, which was infinitely better than any chair.

"S-stupid girl!" he growled. "G-get of-ff me!" He then pushed me away from him, without even waiting for me to move. I took this opportunity to crawl out of the fountain (after much splashing about and general floundering), flopping down on the cold stone and blowing some water out of my nose before shakily getting to my feet. Professor Snape had apparently done the same, though much quicker. I searched my dress robes for my wand, but discovered that I didn't have it; I realized I'd left it snug and secure in the top drawer to my bedside table. Well, that left me cold, wet, and without a wand, facing a fuming (and uninjured) Professor Snape. It was most definitely the worst situation I'd been in all term. And my hands and feet were numb. Come to think of it, so was my face. "F-f-f-forty points f-from Ravenclaw!" Professor Snape stammered, kicking his sopping shoes off and stripping his black robes from his body. At first I thought it was too bad, since they'd been clinging quite pleasantly, and the sight was the only thing generating any warmth within my body. However, the equally wet white shirt he was wearing clung just as much, and showed off a lot more... Mmm, nipples...

He glared at me, looking absolutely outraged, while I worked at trying to get some feeling back to my lower legs. "W-warm-m-ming-g ch-ch-ch-ch-" he reached into his robes and cursed, drawing from them a wand that had been snapped in half. Apparently, I'd landed on it. He was looking furious, but it faded a bit when he turned back to me. A quick glance at my reflection in the water of the fountain showed me that I had turned blue. How appropriate for a Ravenclaw. Well, it certainly explained the weak, numb feeling I was getting.

"C-come on," he growled, grabbing my forearm a lot more tightly than necessary and dragging me along. I didn't mind the tight grip, though; I didn't feel it much, anyway. I stumbled constantly, mostly because of the numbness and my long dress robes, and Professor Snape snapped at me for it; as if I can control it. Was that music in the air? Yes; we were approaching the castle.

"A-a-are w-we g-goin-ng t-to d-dan-nce?" I asked, cursing my blasted stutter and my numb extremities.

"No," he snapped, giving me a jerk. He pulled me into the entrance hall- ah, blessedly warm entrance hall- and ordered me to stay where I was, prowling into the Great Hall. So, I promptly collapsed onto the floor. Note to self: never repeat this series of events. I really wanted to get the cold, wet dress robes off, but I knew that would leave me in my undergarments, so I wasn't about to try that.

"Miss Page?" Oh, look, Professor Dumbledore. I wasn't much in the mood for talking; though, if I was, it would take too long, anyway. I just nodded. "Hold on a moment, dear..." He muttered a spell and I was being hit with a pleasantly warm breeze, my dress robes feeling much drier than before. I still had a persistent, vague thought, nagging at me: Where's Professor Snape? "Not to worry, he's right here." Oh, I thought, I must have said that aloud. That could be fun. Have I ever told you that I'm lactose intolerant? "No, you haven't." That was pretty cool. Well, that's because I'm not.

"She's babbling." That was definitely Professor Snape. I felt myself being lifted up, and I looked in the direction of the voice.

"H-hell-llo, P-p-prof-fess-ssor." I knew I sounded like an idiot, but it couldn't be helped.

"Hello, Miss Page," he grumbled. I noticed that he was dry. I also noticed that he was doing something- oh, his robes were around me. That was very pleasant.

"Professor Snape will escort you up to the hospital wing and you'll be warmed in no time," Dumbledore said pleasantly. He then said something to Professor Snape, and I was left, sitting on a magical stretcher- where did that come from?- with a man who I strongly suspected wanted me dead. I pulled his robes tighter around myself, breathing in the pleasant musk. The garment warmed me in more ways than one.

"...Had better not be held responsible..." Professor Snape was grumbling sourly, guiding me along the halls. What an embarrassing situation.

"Y-y-you're a-all I n-need t-to w-warm-m m-me up-p, P-prof-fessor-r," I commented.

"I'll assume that you have hypothermia and are delirious," he replied curtly.

"I-I l-lov-ve it-t w-when m-men p-play h-h-hard-d-t-to-get." He grumbled something about twits under his breath, but I didn't bother with straining to hear.

"You deserve anything you get!" he snapped suddenly. I sensed guilt.

"Uh-h-h-huh."

"Shut up!" Somebody got up on the wrong side of the fountain. I remained silent as I listened to him fume all the way up to the hospital wing. When we arrived, Madam Pomfrey made a grand fuss ("She's turned blue!") and put me on a bed, drawing privacy curtains around it. She then handed me some very warm-looking pajamas and asked if I needed any help.

"C-could P-p-profess-ssor S-S-Snape h-help m-me g-get d-dressed-d?" I heard him snort and growl something from the other side of the curtain, while Madam Pomfrey gave me a strange look.

"I'm afraid not, dear." She swished her wand over me, and suddenly I was in the pajamas. Oh, poo. I wanted Professor Snape to help me... Manually. Madam Pomfrey pulled back the privacy curtains, bustling about while Professor Snape merely... glared. "She's delirious," Madam Pomfrey commented worriedly. He responded so quietly that I couldn't quite hear him, but he sounded offended. Soon, I was given a Pepper-up potion and something else that spread a warm feeling throughout my body. "You'll have to stay and watch her, Professor," I heard the nurse say. He grumbled something about my head of house. "Don't give me some rot like that! I don't even want to know how this happened-"

"It was all Professor Snape's fault," I provided, rather happy that I'd stopped shivering. Madam Pomfrey turned to me, raising her eyebrows. "Flaunting that luscious rump of his, right out in public- honestly."

"...Right. So you can see why she needs to be watched, Professor. If you'll excuse me..." Madam Pomfrey bustled out before Professor Snape could protest. Sighing, he conjured a straight-backed wooden chair and sat down beside me, scowling. After a few minutes, I made an attempt at conversation.

"I'm sorry, Professor."

"Don't you dare apologize! I love you! Marry me!" Alright, so he didn't really say that. What he really said was more along the lines of, "You should be. Ten points from Ravenclaw."

"I'm the one in the hospital bed," I grumbled, crossing my arms. "And I'm not delirious."

"That only worsens the situation." He leaned back in his chair, looking out the window. "Why don't you just go to sleep?" I didn't answer, but I also didn't stop staring at him. After a while, I spoke again.

"Have you ever been in love, Professor?" He nearly fell out of his chair.

"That's none of your business!" he snarled, righting himself.

"Have you ever been with another man?"

"Ten points from Ravenclaw!"

"I'm only asking." And then, silence. Long silence. There was were suddenly footsteps invading the quietude of the hospital wing, and Dumbledore appeared behind Professor Snape.

"Ah, feeling better, Nadia?" Hm, so he'd taken to calling me Nadia. Perhaps it was the dancing? Or maybe my fragile, "delirious" state.

"Yes, a little," I answered, feigning a small cough and suppressing a satisfied smile at the disgusted look on Professor Snape's face.

"Very good, very good." He then turned to the esteemed potions professor. "Severus, if I could have a word with you..." He stood, drawing the privacy curtain around my bed and walking off with Dumbledore. It was followed by indistinct muttering. Every once in a while, I could hear parts of the conversation, since Sevvie (heehee) had a habit of raising his voice.

"Oh, honestly!" I heard him snort. After some more mumbling, there was, "NO!" and then, rather puzzling, "...Too young!" followed by Dumbledore shushing him. What was Dumbledore trying to do, set him up with me? I nearly snorted with laughter at the very thought of it. "I am not... No, Albus... Trying to... Don't you dare... I don't think... No, no..." He seemed rather agitated. "That!" he suddenly exclaimed, a growl in his voice. "Don't talk to me about that!" Dumbledore mumbled something, and Professor Snape's voice became even louder. "Of course I know that! I picked the bloody thing out!" More murmuring from Dumbledore. "Well, bugger Nathanyel in his bloody arse! I don't give a damn- NO! NO, NO, NO!" Did he just mention... My father? Nah, probably a different person. After all, it wasn't exactly an uncommon name. I strained my ears to listen some more, but it was all just muttering again. Apparently, Dumbledore had managed to calm Professor Snape down. And probably reprimanded him for his dreadful language. Teehee.

After a few more minutes, the long-suffering Professor Snape pulled back the privacy curtain to my bed and waved his wand, causing the chair he had conjured to become cushioned, and heavily lowered himself into it, allowing a small sigh escape his mouth. The sound of a door opening and shutting shortly followed. I waited a few moments before I ventured forth with my further attempts at dragging him into a conversation. "Professor?"

"Professor Dumbledore," he cut in stiffly, sounding very hassled, "has requested that I stay here with you." He made a sour face that I supposed meant that this was against his will.

"Oh. Well... How nice of... er... Oh, screw it." I changed my position in the bed, so that I was sitting up, pillows propped behind my back. It was nice of Dumbledore to give me Professor Snape, but I wasn't about to say that to his face.

"Language, Miss Page," he warned narrowing his eyes.

"Hypocrite," I muttered in response.

"Miss Page," he growled, "I have had a difficult night. Please do not make it even more so." He reached up and dragged his hand through his hair, sighing.

"You've had a difficult night? And what about my night? I daresay, it wasn't all posies and waltzes for me." He raised his eyebrows, crossing his arms.

"Perhaps you should get some sleep, Miss Page," he said in a silky, dangerous voice.

"I'm not tired," I replied stubbornly. "And it's not even that late."

"Yes it is," he argued. I only raised my eyebrows. "Already past midnight. Now, sleep." I checked the clock that hung over the door to the infirmary, which Professor Snape happened to be facing away from, to observe that it was only quarter to ten.

"There's a clock behind you, Cap'n," I reminded him. He half-turned to see the clock, then paused, turning back to me with a very pronounced scowl.

"What did you just call me?" I immediately faked a very loud fit of coughing.

"Oof. Must be the delirium and all." Cough, cough. He scowled at me, but said nothing. There was silence between us for a few minutes. "...You know, Professor, you still owe me a dance." He sneered at me, leaning back in his chair.

"You hardly seem to be in a condition to dance."

"Tomorrow, then. When I'm feeling better." He made a sour face, like he was sucking on a lemon or something.

"No. Not tomorrow. Not ever." I shrugged.

"Then another time, I suppose," I answered off-handedly. He glared at me, then let out a small sigh and slumped slightly in his chair, turning to look at the clock. God, he looked so delicious... I just wanted to reach out and touch him... Damn, that man has great thighs. I wouldn't object to having those wrapped around me instead of the hospital bed sheets. I sank down in my bed a bit more, snuggling into the covers, then reached out and placed a hand on his knee. He snapped around and looked at me as if I had slapped him across the face, but I ignored the expression. "Professor, I really appreciate your being here. I'm glad you're with me." His expression went a bit blank, and his eyes widened a fraction, almost undetectable. He cleared his throat and shifted in his seat a bit, clearly uncomfortable.

"Miss Page..." He reached down and gently placed his hand over mine. My heart leapt into my throat, my breathing hitched, my stomach flipped, and warmth washed over my whole body. It was absolutely wonderful. That is, until I realized that he had only done so in order to remove my hand from his knee. Still, it was very good. "...While I take your... Appreciation... to heart, I must insist that you at least make an effort to not touch me. At all."

"Sorry, Professor. I didn't know you were allergic to human skin."

"Ten points. At this rate, Miss Page, Ravenclaw will be into the negatives by the end of the year."

"Oh well," I replied nonchalantly. It's not like there's anything important about the House Cup. "How would you like to join me?" I asked on a whim, patting the bed beside me.

"As sorely tempted as I am," came the sarcastic reply, "I'm afraid I'll have to decline." He paused slightly. "Another ten points."

"I'd sleep better," I offered.

"No."

"You're no fun."

"I've decided that I'm going to ignore you until you fall asleep. If you try to get a rise out of me, it will be no use. As far as I'm concerned, you don't exist." He crossed his arms and turned his chair around to face the opposite direction.

"...If I don't exist, then why are you here?"

"I have a mysterious itch. Now, I suggest you be quiet, because from now on you might as well be talking to a wall."

"Whatever you say, crazy pants."

"..." Professor Snape's behavior made me decided that it was finally time for me to speak my mind and tell him exactly how I feel about him.

"...You so crazy, I think I wanna have yo' babay!"

"Ten points! And I'm not listening." He's really bad at ignoring me. After saying random things to him for a while, though, I started to get bored (and tired) so I finally went to sleep. He must have been very happy about that. I didn't sleep very well, though.

I woke up in the middle of the night, because of a dream I could no longer remember, though I didn't open my eyes. The first thing that struck me was that my hand was being held. Primarily, I thought it might be Colin, but immediately ruled that option out, for two reasons. The first was that students weren't allowed in the hospital wing that late. The second was that it didn't feel at all like either of Colin's hands. The hand was too large, the fingers too long; and while Colin's palms were soft as a baby's bottom, this palm was not. The skin still had a silky quality to it, but it was uneven, burns and callouses scattered over it. It was a hand that had worked hard throughout the years, but had still managed to stay in reasonably good condition.

Anyway, the second thing that struck me was that someone was singing, apparently to me. The voice was low and quiet, silky as the hand and slightly reluctant. The tune, however, was very familiar. The person was near the end of the song, and I started listening in the middle of the verse. "...Really bad eggs... Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho... Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me..." I opened my eyes to see the source of the voice and the hand.

"...Professor Snape?" It was at that moment that I tumbled head over heels in love with him. He jumped a bit, surprised, then immediately let go of my hand, pursing his lips much in the way McGonagall does when a Gryffindor misbehaves.

"You will speak of this to no one," he ordered, looking angry and... embarrassed.

"You have a nice singing voice," I replied. He growled, clenching his fists. "How do you know that song?" I pressed on.

"Someone once sang it to me," he answered tersely.

"Oh..." He leaned back in his chair, scowling at me. "Why were you singing to me, if you don't mind my asking?"

"Miss Page," he scolded, "you will address me as 'Professor' or 'sir' at all times. Understood?"

"Yes, Professor, sir," I answered in an unctuous and slightly sarcastic tone. "So, why the singing, sir?"

"I wasn't singing," he snapped. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Could you hold my hand again?"

"Get back to sleep!"

"Please?"

"No!" I sighed heavily, shifting a bit and wringing my hands together. "Get some sleep." Angry, but almost civil.

"I'm not really all that tired."

"Go. To. Sleep."

"You hate me." There was utter silence as he blinked, staring at me with a blank expression, induced by shock.

"Excuse me?" His eyebrows were practically fused with his hairline.

"That's alright. I know you hate me."

"Miss Page..." He leaned his elbows on his knees and rubbed his eyes a bit. "At least try to sleep." He had this look that clearly said, "I don't deserve this." He might have muttered it to himself, but his voice was rather low, so...

"Alright." I wasn't tired, though. So... I just looked at him. He sat with his arms crossed, surveying the room, tapping his foot a little and looking agitated. For a while he would look out the window, then back at the clock, then at the exposed shelf of medical potions, then at the pitcher of water on the bedside table. And he'd repeat the pattern. While being absolutely beautiful... Not that it wasn't already a given. There was really nothing else to do, and looking at him made me feel better. I don't know how long I was observing him, but eventually he sighed and glared at me, sneering slightly.

"Stop looking at me like that," he growled.

"Like what?" He's so gorgeous.

"Like that." He glared a little more. "Just get to sleep, already." I sighed heavily, rolling my eyes, but turned over and tried to sleep, anyway. After about fifteen or twenty minutes of tossing and turning, though, I gave up and threw my sheets aside, propping myself up and looking at the love of my life... Ahem... "What is it now?" he grumbled.

"I can't sleep," I replied. Then, I boldly place a hand on his knee. Again. "Talk to me." He stared at me for a few moments, as if he couldn't understand what I had just said and done. Then, he scowled, again moving my hand away from him.

"Why don't you just count sheep instead?"

"I'd much prefer to count kisses."

"Miss Page..." He rubbed his forehead, frowning. "How many times must you be punished before you understand that your behavior is childish and inappropriate?"

"You're the teacher, you figure it out."

"...You. Sleep. Now." He then turned around and pulled that "I'm ignoring you" shit again. Honestly, he can be so immature sometimes.

"Fine. But only if you tell me a bedtime story."

"No."

"Then fetch me a glass of water." Grumbling, he actually got up and walked away, returning with a glass of water that he thrust into my hands. "Thank you very much." I drank about half of it before leaving it to the elements.

"Are you comfortable now? Ready to sleep?" He seemed rather anxious.

"...If you insist." I thought I'd go easy on him, in the spirit of the holidays. "Happy Holidays, Professor," I muttered as I tucked myself in. He grumbled something angrily, and then there was silence from his direction. I'm surprised by how quickly I fell back to sleep, but there you go.

Colin was sitting at the side of my bed opposite Professor Snape when I woke up. He seemed rather wary of the professor, who was slumped down in his chair, asleep. "Hi, Colin," I groaned, sitting up. He gave me a small smile, fiddling with the camera that was constantly around his neck.

"Hey. How are you feeling?" I shrugged.

"Fine. I hope you weren't too upset by... Er... Well, you know. Last night. I didn't mean to ditch you, honestly." His grin wavered a bit.

"Well, I know that. I mean, when I heard... I wasn't angry. Just worried." I smiled back. "Hey, look..." He nodded towards Professor Snape, who was twitching and drooling in his sleep. Aww.

"I think that means he's dreaming," I replied. My suspicions were confirmed when he muttered something under his breath.

"What do you say we immortalize the moment?" Colin grabbed his camera as his grin widened substantially. Well, I thought, why not? So, I nodded and held back a chuckle as Colin took a picture of the sleeping Snape, who twitched again and muttered.

"...Naf...unnel... Yogurt." I decided it would be best not to know.

"So, how was the dance after I left?" I asked Colin.

"Eh. After Professor Dumbledore told me what happened, and that I wouldn't be allowed to visit, I was kind of a third wheel with Ginny and her date for a while, then I gave up and went back to Gryffindor tower. It's too bad, really. I was hoping to get a goodnight kiss, you see." He flashed a lopsided grin, which was rather cute, but I think wasted on me.

"Alright, what are you waiting for, then?" I tend to be a bit blunt with matters of a romantic nature. But only a tad.

Gulping slightly, he leaned over and... Kissed me. There really isn't any more elaborate way to describe it, and trust me, if there was, I would know. It was just a kiss. No sparks flying or fireworks going off, or anything. Not even open-mouthed. And, of course, that happened to be the moment that Professor Snape woke up.

"CREEVEY!" He was on his feet almost instantly, lumbering over us with a distinct air of rage. "TWENTY POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR! GET OUT!!" With a squeak, Colin jumped out of his chair and scurried out of the room. Professor Snape's jaw muscle was going off, a definite sign of impending doom. I think it's rather attractive, actually.

"Er... Professor? Perhaps you should calm down a bit. It's not good for your blood pressure to get all worked up, you know. Besides, Colin was just visiting." He growled, a sound from deep in his throat.

"If that little twit of a Gryffindor knows what's good for him, he'll make himself scarce." With that proclamation, he dropped back into his seat, eyeing the doorway as if he expected Colin to come scampering back through it, and was planning to rip his throat out when he did.

"Professor... Are you jealous?" Oh, my mind works in rather devious ways. He snapped his head around, jaw going a bit slack as his face became quite enticingly flushed.

"What- er- Ten points from Ravenclaw!" He very pointedly turned away from me, grumbling with indignation. If I didn't know any better... I'd say he really was jealous.

"...Thank you." He stiffened slightly, but refused to face me.

"...What?"

"You know, for last night. And for defending my virtue. I think you're very sweet."

"Trust me, it won't last." Just then, Madam Pomfrey came in with breakfast for the both of us, which was eaten in silence. I was hoping for a chance to talk to Professor Snape again afterwards, but as soon as he'd finished his food Dumbledore came and whisked him away. I was left sitting alone, bored, for an hour or two before Madam Pomfrey returned to put up a privacy curtain, check me over, and inform me that I had a visitor.

Ginny walked in and sat beside me, smiling. "So... Er... How do you feel, Nadia?" There was something in her voice that told me something was up.

"Alright, what happened? Tell me now, or die." Ginny snorted.

"Fine, fine. Apparently, last night, some boys poured love potion into the fountain." She sniggered. "So... Last night... Professor Snape was in love with you." My jaw dropped. My eyebrows flew up. My heart jumped into my throat.

"Seriously?!?" She nodded, sniggering again.

"So... uh... Did anything happen?" I couldn't believe it.

"No. Well, nothing sexual." I grinned. "He sang to me." She looked like I'd just told her that he cross-dressed and let me spank him.

"Really? This is a momentous occasion. It is." I only shook my head. "So what did he sing? A dramatic love ballad, something like that?"

"Actually, strangely enough... It was 'A Pirate's Life for Me.'" She stared.

"A pirate song." I nodded. "Snape's nutters. That's the only explanation."

"Well, this may surprise you, but I find the song rather soothing. And it's not like he jumped up and belted it out. I was asleep, and I woke up and heard it." She shook her head, a good imitation of me.

"That's insane." I shrugged. "Oh, by the way, Colin doesn't know about the whole potion thing, yet. And Madame Pomfrey's already administered the treatment to both you and Professor Snape; she put it in your food this morning. She said it takes a while to kick in, but it should have worked by now."

"What? NO!!" I made a frustrated noise and slumped back on my pillow. "I don't believe it. How could she? I mean- all the- and- oh, never mind." I sighed. "So much for that idea." I was planning to seduce him.

"Don't worry, we've still got the SSS to think about. Maybe it'll help."

"Of course." Our conversation would have continued, but then Madam Pomfrey stuck her head through the privacy curtain.

"You have another visitor," she informed us, sounding disgruntled, then bustled off. I expected it to be Luna, or Colin again, but it wasn't.

"Ah, hello, Nadia. How are you feeling?" I blinked at Professor Lupin.

"I'm fine, Professor." There had to be a reason for this. Did I miss an assignment? Oh, wait, it was Christmas holidays.

"I'll see you later," Ginny muttered, greeting Professor Lupin and hurrying out with a wink in my direction. I suppose she doesn't know he's gay.

"So, you came to visit because...?" I always like to be very direct with Professor Lupin. Mostly because he doesn't take points off for it.

"I just thought I'd check in on you." I waited. "You know, keep you company." I continued to wait. "...I heard what happened last night. Any better?"

"Madam Pomfrey slipped a cure into the breakfast food." I sighed. "Too bad." He grinned a bit.

"Too bad, eh? I'd like to have seen how he acted."

"About the same," I muttered. "And he got jealous of Colin."

"He always was the jealous type." I paused for a moment.

"Why are you so friendly to me, anyway?" I'd been wondering for a while.

"I'm friendly to everyone." I sincerely doubted it.

"How often do you visit students in the hospital wing?"

"...Every other day." As if that were true. But, I decided to drop it and change the subject. I was convinced that Professor Lupin had some ulterior motive to being so nice to me, as I believe I have stated before, but I knew he wasn't about to spill it.

"Professor, thank you for visiting."

"It's no trouble at all." He offered me a cute little smile that I just wanted to steal and stick in my pocket. Yeah, I'm weird. He talked to me a bit longer about some stuff, and it wasn't much longer before Madam Pomfrey brought in another visitor.

"Dad?"

"I think I'll give the two of you some privacy," Professor Lupin muttered, walking away a bit more quickly than I would have expected.

"...Hi, Dad." He sat down on the edge of my bed, sighing.

"Thank goodness you're alright." I raised an eyebrow.

"What are you doing here?" No matter how bad their conditions may be, students are almost never visited by their parents in the hospital wing.

"I..." Was he starting to blush? "I was... In a meeting... With... the Headmaster. And then I heard you were... here. So. What are you doing here?" My other eyebrow drifted upwards.

"I'm a student here. Remember?" He waved his hand about dismissively, snorting a bit.

"No, I mean- what are you doing in the infirmary? What happened?"

"I fell in a fountain spiked with love potion. And so did Professor Snape."

"Really?" There was a bit of a devious note in his voice, which I knew was never a good sign.

"But Madam Pomfrey cured us already," I hastily added. He seemed disappointed.

"Ah. I see. Where is Professor Snape?"

"The Headmaster wanted to talk to him. Don't ask me about any details, because I've no idea." He nodded slowly.

"...So. Professor Snape... You want him to be your little booty boy, right?"

"Excuse me?"

"Well, that's what I heard."

"Jesus, Dad! 'Booty boy?'"

"Yeah, you know, like booty calls. Did you give him a booty call?"

"Shut up! Someone will hear you!" He looked as if he was trying not to laugh.

"You were obviously trying to get at it, with those scissors-"

"STOP. Now."

"If you insist." He let out a heavy sigh. You see? I always tell people about how my dad makes fun of me all the time, but no one believes me! "So you're feeling alright?"

"Yes, I'm fine."

"Oh, good." It was at that moment that the sound of a door opening and closing drifted to my ears, followed by some familiar sullen grumbling. "I think I'll go have a word with Professor Snape," Dad said suddenly, standing.

"No don't-" Too late. As he was walking off, Ginny returned, suddenly snapping her head around to stare at him, almost falling down as she felt her way into the chair beside my bed. I watched with raised eyebrows as she craned her neck to peer around the privacy curtain at Dad, waiting patiently. Finally, she settled back in her chair, sighed, and said, "Nadia, your dad's really hot." ...Disgusting.

"Ginny," I replied, "you are now officially the grossest person in the world."

"Oh, come on- face it. Your dad's a looker. I mean, that hair, those eyes... And he may not be a muscle man, but still- damn!"

"Stop it, right now."

"Though, I wouldn't mind if he were a bit taller-"

"Ginny! Hello! That's my dad! My married dad!"

"...Your mum's very lucky." She leaned back to look around the privacy curtain again. "...Very, very lucky."

"You should be banned from speaking."

"He looks pretty young for a dad, you know?"

"He was nineteen when I was born."

"Oh, wow... Oh! He's talking to Professor Snape!" I blinked.

"Whaaaat?" Yes, I am indeed a large bird. Seriously, though, I couldn't believe he was actually doing it.

"Sh!" she muttered. "If I can just strain my ears a bit... I think... Snape is talking about... Being stabbed in the bum."

"Aha."

"And... Your dad is saying... That Snape is very sexy, and he wants to shag him."

"GINNY!"

"Fine! He's basically saying that it's no big deal. Oh! And here comes Professor Lupin, to the rescue."

"And?"

"I think he just patted your dad's bum."

"Ginny, if you don't stop making things up-"

"Actually, I'm serious."

"...Move over." I pushed Ginny aside and looked around the privacy curtain, observing the scene. Professor Snape was looking very disgruntled while Dad was saying something, gesturing quite wildly, Professor Lupin standing beside him and trying not to get hit. Then Dad clapped Professor Lupin on the back and he... Blushed? Nah. Just my imagination. "There's nothing out of the ordinary going on," I informed Ginny flatly, laying back in bed.

"Really?" she asked doubtfully, again sticking her head out to look. After a few moments she looked back at me, her eyebrows raised, then returned to staring at whatever was going on outside the privacy curtain. I could hear voices starting to rise, but I couldn't quite make out what they were saying. "You know... It looks like... Like the Professors are fighting over your dad."

"I'm not going to fall for that."

"Really, though, they are! Physically! It's like a tug of war out there!" Honestly, she really needs to stop playing jokes.

"I know you're lying," I replied, crossing my arms.

"No I'm not," she practically sang out. "It looks like Professor Snape's winning. Oh- wait- Lupin's just whacked him with a bed pan! Now he's in the lead!" She really has a very active imagination. "But, hold on a moment- Snape's got your Dad by the waist- but Lupin's arms are hooked under his- your dad's squawking like a bird, and I don't blame him- OH! Snape just got Lupin in the family jewels! Now that's got to hurt! Alright, looks like Snape's taking home the prize- but no! Lupin makes a full recovery and charges! Alright, now Snape and Lupin are having it out, and it looks like your dad's going to crawl away and escape- ooh! Tough luck! Looks like Snape just got your dad by the ankles. Wait- Lupin's got Snape in a headlock, but Snape isn't about to let go. OH MY! Your dad just nailed them both in the face. I guess the professors are going to have footprints on them for a while. Now Snape's chasing your dad, Lupin's right behind them- OUCH! Your dad actually flipped Snape over, and then Lupin! They're both lying in a dazed heap on the floor, now, apparently getting some sort of lecture from your dad. Wow. Well, I supposed that means the action's over." She turned back to me and smiled.

"You know, Ginny, you could get into the creative writing business with no problem."

"Thanks, but I just called it how I saw it."

"...Right." But I couldn't resist. I just had to see what was really going on out there. So, I leaned over to take a look and... It was just as I suspected. The professors and my dad were all just standing there, having a perfectly calm and civil conversation.

"You know, I don't blame them for fighting over him," Ginny stated calmly, looking out at the extremely normal scene. "He is one hot piece of ass."

"You can stop, now. I know you're lying."

"Fine, suit yourself." Just then, Luna came walking around the privacy curtain.

"Hello, Luna," I greeted. "Nice to see you." She stared at me for a moment.

"...I think they were fighting over your dad." Oh, Christ, they're both in on it!

"That's enough! I'm not falling for your damn jokes, alright? Now stop it!" Luna just shrugged and sat down in an empty chair.

"Hey, Luna," Ginny suddenly said, looking devious. "Isn't Nadia's dad sexy?"

"Yes," she answered airily.

"I hate the both of you."

"Merlin," Ginny sighed, "I would shag him in a second if-"

"Hullo, girls. What are you talking about?" She went red as Dad approached, looking a bit worn out.

"Er- homework."

"Ah, excellent! Well, Nadia, I just wanted to wish you well and say goodbye- I've got to be getting along. Professor Snape's agreed to a parent-teacher conference-"

"DAD!" NO. No, no, no, no. He will not embarrass me!

"Well, your behavior's been very disturbing as of late, according to him, and I've got to set things straight before you get an ass kicking. And I've got a busy schedule today, otherwise- with work an all-"

"You're always working." Which is true. Sometimes he sleeps in his office.

"And you're at school, so it's none of your concern. Now, have a good rest of the year, and I'll see you in the summer. Happy Hols, toodle-ooh, etcetera."

"Bye, Dad." And then he ran off. To destroy my life. Arrrrrrrrr. Mateys.

"Look at that ass-"

"Shut up, Ginny!"

"Next task," Luna said abruptly, probably to change the subject. Ginny suddenly grinned very widely.

"I'd been thinking about that and I've got the best idea-"

"Oh no," I groaned. "I just got frozen in a fountain, can't I have a break?"

"You will," she replied. "This won't take place until classes start again."

"...Alright. Lay it on me."

"Next potions class, whenever Snape looks at you, wink at him and blow him a kiss. And try to do it in a very exaggerated fashion." I stared at her for a long time.

"...You... Are becoming more and more frightening as time goes on."

"Well, what can I say? Oh, and I've been meaning to ask you- do you have the hots for Lupin or something? Because I think you could get him-"

"Ginny. Stop. He's gay." She blinked.

"Oh? Really?"

"Yes. Really." She looked rather downtrodden upon coming to this revelation.

"You didn't know?" Luna asked. "It was pretty obvious."

"Oh? how?" Ginny asked.

"He dates men," Luna replied. I've got to hand it to her, that's a pretty good reply. We talked for a bit more after that (Snape's student came up, heehee) before Madam Pomfrey came and set me free. I got dressed, skipped off into the sunset, etcetera. I couldn't find Colin anywhere, and found out through Ginny that he was treading lightly, in case Snape attempted to murder him again.

So, being free from confinement to a hospital bed, I decided to... Take a nap. That's pretty much everything. Well, it's time for a bath. I feel so grody! And if I find out that Dad said anything to Professor Snape that I'm going to have to pay for, I will go into Hogsmeade, get a portkey home, and wring his neck. Not that I don't love my father, anyway. It's just that I'm afraid of what might result from his socializing with people I know. Anyway... Bath. Prefects' bathroom = good. Yum. Nadia Page, signing off.